So What Now? with Carla and Dex
Get ready for laughs, life lessons, and all the vibes! Hosted by best friends Carla and Dex, So What Now? dives into the messy, magical, and maddening moments of motherhood, womanhood, and everything in between. With Carla juggling entrepreneurship and new motherhood, and Dex stepping into life as a new empty nester with her quick wit and real talk, this podcast is your go-to for fresh takes on life’s biggest (and smallest) moments. Tune in for raw conversations, endless laughs, and a reminder that none of us really have it all figured out—but that’s half the fun! CONNECT WITH US: www.SoWhatNowPod.com
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EP 40: Multitasking, Mess, and a Little Mayhem
07/29/2025
EP 40: Multitasking, Mess, and a Little Mayhem
This week on So What Now, we unpack a viral TikTok that challenges the usual checklist for choosing a partner. Sure, faith, finances, and fitness are great—but what about the ability to suffer well? Life will get messy, and having someone who doesn’t fall apart in the chaos might just be the most underrated trait of all. Dex keeps it real and admits she’s not built for bedside caregiving—she’ll cut the check, but don’t look for soup and soft words. And if she ever becomes the one in need? Her motto is simple: just take her out! Things take a turn when we discuss the woman who found out her husband’s ex hacked their home security system and watched over 44,000 minutes of footage. Dex is baffled at how anyone has that kind of time, while Carla confesses she might’ve been one click away from doing the same. We also tap into the rising trend of “poly-working”—people holding down two full-time jobs, often powered by AI. Carla’s here for it (shoutout to her ADHD superpowers), but Dex is barely making it through one job. Speaking of jobs, Carla shares a little about her short-lived corporate career and the moment it ended with a good ol’ fashioned workplace fight. Yes, hands were thrown. You definitely want to hear this one. CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: | 📱INSTAGRAM: 📱TIKTOK:
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EP 39: Cakes, Confessions, and Coldplay Chaos
07/22/2025
EP 39: Cakes, Confessions, and Coldplay Chaos
Whew—y’all, we’re back! After dodging studio bookings like TSA lines, we finally made it back to High Hello Labs, and babyyy... we’ve got a lot to catch up on. Dex is officially 41 (but giving 25), and Carla shares how TSA Cares and Psalm’s amazing therapy team helped him prep for his big NYC takeover. 💪🏾 We’re talking legacy—but not the money kind—getting older (and finer), and how one Coldplay kiss cam moment exposed way more than expected. 👀 Oh, and yes, we go there: abortion debates, Shannon Sharpe’s hush-hush settlement, and what happens when a CEO gets caught up on camera... with someone who ain’t his wife. Plus, Barack and Michelle tap in with some parenting wisdom (we know they be listening 👋🏾). In This Episode: Dexty’s birthday, surprise cake, and getting emotionally wrecked in the Delta lounge 🍰 Psalm’s flying glow-up and why TSA Cares is that girl ✈️ Why posting content could be your ticket to Bali (or at least brunch) The Coldplay concert scandal that cost a CEO his job 👔 Carla vs. the Internet: abortion takes, Twitter fingers, and curly-haired chaos 🥴 Shannon Sharpe’s “retirement plan” for his OnlyFans accuser 💰 Barack + Michelle’s parenting gems and why boys need more than one male role model Keep Up With Us: 🗣️ Join the convo @sowhatnowpod 🎥 Watch the full episode on YouTube 🎧 Subscribe, rate, and review on your favorite podcast app 📩 Got a messy work story or a petty win? Slide in our DMs or email us!
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EP 38: Hot Takes, Bali Dreams, and Petty Truths
07/15/2025
EP 38: Hot Takes, Bali Dreams, and Petty Truths
Hey Besties We’re back! and it’s giving unfiltered chaos (per usual). 😅 This week’s episode is straight from the living room while Carla gets her hair done and Dex debates washing hers (it’s been 16 days, send help). The kids are in the background, the vibes are real, and the convos? Whew. We’re talking: The Bali Challenge: Carla told Dex if she posts 31 Reels in August, she’s going to Bali for free. Now she’s on the gram like her life depends on it. Plastic surgery for men?! Abs, arms, hairlines, do what you want… just don’t tell us about it. Do you really tell your friends when their weight is getting outta hand? Or mind your business? Ashanti and Nelly’s show has us stressed. Is she a married single mom now?! Listener Letter: She’s married with a “good man”… but can’t stop thinking about the one that got away. What should she do? And a DM asking for dating advice after loss—Dex gives the play-by-play on building a roster safely while healing. It’s raw. It’s ridiculous. It’s us. Press play, laugh with us, and maybe send this to a friend who needs to stop replying to “Hey stranger” texts. 😩 xx - Carla CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL: 📱 IG: 📱 TikTok: 🎙 Wanna advertise with us?
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EP 37: Are You Too Comfortable? Here’s What That Could Be Telling You
07/09/2025
EP 37: Are You Too Comfortable? Here’s What That Could Be Telling You
Hey Bestie, We’re back! Listen… jetlag and schedule conflics are real. This week’s episode is a catch-up at the house. I just got back from Bali, had a full-blown spiritual awakening (yes, there were tears in the ocean), and maybe met the love of my life… but he said he’s not coming back to America soooo that’s that. 😅 Dex has been going through it too. When it rains, it pours, okay? She took a little break from social because the doom scroll had her in a chokehold. She opens up about that, plus her quick lil’ Miami trip where she gave out her number… but did anything come of it? 👀 We also read a letter from a listener who feels stuck in a “content” life. Not bad, not great—just… meh. She wants more but feels guilty for wanting it. We unpack that, too. It’s raw, it’s real, it’s us. We missed y’all. Hit play. xx Carla Wilmaris CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: | 📱INSTAGRAM: 📱TIKTOK: 🎙ADVERTISE WITH US: Rate, Review & Follow UsIf you laughed, felt seen, or screamed "same," take 30 seconds to rate and review the show. ⭐ Scroll to the bottom of our Apple Podcasts page ⭐ Tap to rate 5 stars ⭐ Hit “Write a Review” and tell us what you loved most Your support keeps this going—and we read every word. Our Sponsors This episode is powered by our partners at Hi Hello Labs and . Looking to level up your podcast or bring your show to life? These are the teams making it happen. Ready to Start Your Podcast? Let Carla help you launch your podcast in just 30 days. → → and get personal strategy support Need Advice? Want to Sound Off? Send your questions, hot takes, or real-life mess to: 📧 We might read your letter on the next episode—anonymously, of course.
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EP 36: Fasting, Ghosting & Pardoning – Just Another Week in America
06/30/2025
EP 36: Fasting, Ghosting & Pardoning – Just Another Week in America
On this juicy episode of So What Now, Carla kicks things off by sharing her prep for Bali — a water fast that helped her shed six pounds (and gain three right back 😅). Still, she’s feeling herself and ready for the beach! Meanwhile, Dex crowns the Woman of the Week: a queen who ghosted her man right after he handed her a winning lotto ticket. City girls up by a million 💅🏾💸 Then it’s a hard pivot to politics as we unpack Trump’s headline-grabbing pardons, including Todd & Julie Chrisley (fraud squad!), NBA YoungBoy, Kodak Black, and Lil Wayne. Carla shares what her presidential platform would be — starting with a strict no deadbeat baby daddies policy. We get real with Ileana Gracia, founder of Latinas for Trump, who’s suddenly shocked by Trump’s immigration policies. Carla gives her a reality check she won’t forget. Plus, we offer survival tips for navigating Trump’s presidency (again): Set media boundaries 🧠 Make space for joy 🪩 Rest is resistance 🛌 Finally, we dive into a heartfelt listener letter from an entrepreneur juggling business dreams and bestie FOMO. 💌 You’re not alone, sis. Keep building. The trips (and the tribe that gets it) will come. We wanna see y’all IRL. We’re planning some in-person events, just for the ladies. Click the link and let’s get out of the group chat. CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: | 📱INSTAGRAM: 📱TIKTOK:
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EP 35: Voicenote Devotionals, Selfie Request and The Last Straw
06/23/2025
EP 35: Voicenote Devotionals, Selfie Request and The Last Straw
Whew! Y’all… I’m out here trying to date and let me just say: it’s terrible. This week I went on two dates — yes, two. One man is ready for a monogamous relationship immediately… and has absolutely no friends (red flag?). The other sends me unsolicited prayer voice notes every single morning and follows up with "send me a pic" all day long. I’m exhausted, and it’s only Monday. 🙃 Meanwhile, Dex is convinced the internet is for girls only — specifically saying men should not be in The Shade Room comments. Honestly? I don’t disagree. Go build a house or something, sir. We also got into the wildest things we’ve done for love. Let’s just say, Dex shared a story that had my jaw on the floor. You ever stay with someone who cheated… and had two kids on you while y’all were still together? She did. And sis really said "crazy for love." Then, we got into a listener letter: “Do you have to pick a side when two close friends fall out?” Mmm… we had thoughts. Lots of thoughts. In our motherhood segment, we reviewed that new Tyler Perry movie Straw (spoiler alert if you haven’t watched yet!). Of course, we couldn’t agree on anything. I loved it — it spoke to me on such a deep, spiritual level. Dex? She’s over it. Said it’s just more Black trauma on display. Classic us. So what now? Click play and find out. We wanna see y’all IRL. We’re planning some in-person events, just for the ladies. Click the link and let’s get out the group chat. — Carla 💛 CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: | 📱INSTAGRAM: 📱TIKTOK:
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EP 34: Body Language, Dating Games & Big Beautiful Bills
06/16/2025
EP 34: Body Language, Dating Games & Big Beautiful Bills
Alright y’all, in this week’s episode we got real about body language in dating—yes, sis, that closed-off vibe might be why no one’s stepping to you! A new study says most women think we look approachable, but we really out here serving “don’t talk to me” energy. I put some of those body language tips to the test and let’s just say... results were mixed. Meanwhile, Carla is back in these dating streets and using ChatGPT to help cut through all the awkward small talk on Hinge and honestly, it’s working! you’ll have to hear it to believe it. What are ya’ll thoughts on romantic relationships being transactional? Now me? I stand ten toes down in the belief that all relationships are a give-and-take. Know your value, know what you want, and stop wasting time. Carla had a moment too—realizing that what she brings to a relationship is more than money, and honestly, that shift is powerful. But we had to ask—since women are out here buying homes, getting degrees, leveling up in every way—should we lower our standards when it comes to men? Whew, child. We closed it out with a pivot to motherhood and policy—talking about Trump’s “big beautiful bill” and how it’s gonna make SNAP benefits harder to get for single moms. Work requirements, marital status hoops... it’s a lot, and it’s giving struggle for too many women. Tap in, y’all. This one’s layered. We wanna see y’all IRL. We’re planning some in-person events, just for the ladies. Click the link and let’s get out the group chat. — Dex 💛 CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: | 📱INSTAGRAM: 📱TIKTOK:
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EP 33: Single Mom to CEO: Jena Mehlberg on Faith and Raising Boys
06/09/2025
EP 33: Single Mom to CEO: Jena Mehlberg on Faith and Raising Boys
Hey friends—Carla here! This week on So What Now?, Dex and I sat down with the fierce and inspiring Jena Mehlberg—entrepreneur, mama, survivor, and all-around powerhouse in the beauty world. Jena took us on a real ride through some of the toughest chapters of her life—becoming a single mom in her teens, losing a parent, navigating an emotionally abusive relationship, and the ups and downs of running her own business. And y’all, the way she speaks about resilience and faith? You feel it in your bones. She talks about the importance of existing outside yourself and not letting isolation pull you under, especially in the hardest seasons. One thing that really stuck with me—Jena opened up about her mom, a woman who moved through the world like rules just didn’t apply to her. That “ask forgiveness later” attitude? It gave Jena permission to live boldly and never wait for someone else to give her the green light. Then we shifted gears and got real about raising boys. As two single moms of sons, Jena and I got into it: How do we raise emotionally healthy men in a world that often doesn’t teach them how to feel? What message are we sending if we keep choosing partners who don’t show up emotionally? Dex jumped in too, and we unpacked the tension between wanting to protect our kids from life’s mistakes… and knowing we can’t. Y’all, if you’ve ever wondered whether you’re doing enough—or how to keep going when life knocks you down—this one’s for you. 💬 Come join the conversation and lets figuring it out together. We wanna see y’all IRL. We’re planning some in-person events, just for the ladies. Click the link and let’s get out the group chat. — Carla 💛 CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: | 📱INSTAGRAM: 📱TIKTOK: 🎙ADVERTISE WITH US:
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EP 32: Pro-Choice, Pro-Chaos, Probably Problematic
06/02/2025
EP 32: Pro-Choice, Pro-Chaos, Probably Problematic
This week’s episode of So What Now gets into some pretty spicy and controversial territory—so let’s jump right in. We started things off light: I came across a study that says spending money on your best friend can actually boost your mental health. So Carla, just know—I’m always here to support your wellness journey… especially if it includes buying me lunch. #SelfCare 😌 Carla let us know a few of her exes are trying to “spin the block,” and baby, she is not impressed. That got us thinking: would you ever take an ex back? Carla’s a maybe, but for me? All mine are married now, so it’s a strong no. We also asked: when does your history with an ex stop mattering? Like, is there a cut-off date for emotional baggage? Then we dove headfirst into the mess: reproductive rights. We touched on a few current cases, and let’s just say… it got real. Carla swears she’s not conservative, but sis said “broke people shouldn’t have babies”. Meanwhile, I’m over here volunteering to drive a woman to her 10th one. So yeah—maybe we need to unpack some things too. We also talked about the tragic story out of Georgia, where a brain-dead woman is being kept on life support so her baby can survive. Just… heavy. And before we wrapped, we went deep: should people with genetic disorders have children, knowing there’s a chance their kids will inherit those same challenges? No easy answers, but definitely a conversation worth having. So yeah—this episode is full of debates, some side-eyes, and a lot of heart. We wanna see y’all IRL. We’re planning some in-person events, just for the ladies. Click the link and let’s get out the group chat. Love y’all! – Dex 💜 CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: | 📱INSTAGRAM: 📱TIKTOK: 🎙ADVERTISE WITH US:
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EP 31: What She Wore vs. What He Did: The Real Issue
05/26/2025
EP 31: What She Wore vs. What He Did: The Real Issue
Friend, this week was juicy and necessary. First off, I gave y’all some homework—yes, homework. Go listen to Atomic Habits and please, if you're struggling with your mental health, talk to a therapist. We love healing over here. Dex gave us all the feels with her recap of her Cowboy Carter trip with her daughter—bonding, Beyoncé, boots and Black girl joy. In our Womanhood segment, we had to touch on B. Simone getting dragged again. This time it’s ‘cause she wore coochie cutters in church. The internet lost its mind. But let’s be real—why is she catching heat when she’s bringing people to Christ in her own way? Stop being hypocrites. Then we had to unpack all this DV mess in the news—Diddy, DDG, Tory Lanez... it’s nonstop. The way some men are reacting, like there's a war on them, is wild. There's a real lack of understanding around what abuse even is. Dex and I both asked the real question: why are so many men still blaming women instead of addressing their own violence? In our Motherhood segment, whew chile—Teyana Taylor and Iman Shumpert’s divorce drama got messy. Iman reported her for violating their agreement, and now she might face jail time... even though she let him slide when he did the same thing. Petty much? Oh—and before I forget, we wanna see y’all IRL. We’re planning some in-person events, just for the ladies. Click the link and let’s get out the group chat. CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: | 📱INSTAGRAM: 📱TIKTOK: 🎙ADVERTISE WITH US:
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EP 30: Babies on Board, Husbands at Risk & $5K Ain’t It
05/19/2025
EP 30: Babies on Board, Husbands at Risk & $5K Ain’t It
Friend… this episode was pure chaos—in the best way. We started off with Porsha from Real Housewives of Atlantathreatening to sleep with a castmate’s husband after an argument. Yes, the same Porsha who already married her ex-friend’s man. The audacity is clearly on clearance and she bought the whole rack. Me and Carla had to break that all the way down, because girl… what are you even doing? Then we shifted gears to Amina Butterfly and her daughter straight-up refusing to go to school. No bullying, no issues—just vibes. The internet had opinions: some dragging Amina’s parenting, others offering support. Of course, we had to weigh in. Next up, Trump is out here trying to boost the birth rate with a one-time $5K baby bonus. And baby… $5K?! That’s not even covering formula and wipes. These are crackhead prices. And to wrap it up, B. Simone went online after sitting through a flight next to a tantrum-throwing baby. Carla thinks parents need to keep their kids in check mid-air. I say, give folks grace—babies gon’ baby. It’s a ride from start to finish. Press play and let us know… so what now? CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: | 📱INSTAGRAM: 📱TIKTOK: 🎙ADVERTISE WITH US:
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EP 29: Serving Hottie Sauce, Auntie Vibes & Labor Glam
05/12/2025
EP 29: Serving Hottie Sauce, Auntie Vibes & Labor Glam
Hey friend, it’s me, Carla! 💋 This week on So What Now, we’re giving flowers (and maybe some biscuits) to our Woman of the Week—Megan Thee Stallion—for opening her own Popeyes franchise and dropping that delicious “Hottie Sauce”! I LIVE for a business-savvy baddie, okay?! 💅🔥 Now, let’s talk “auntie”... because Dex is still not over it. We get into what it really means when people start calling you that—respect, shade, or both? After some laughs (and a little dragging), Dex might be warming up to the title—as long as nobody expects her to be a role model, LOL. We also get real about motherhood. Jazzy’s holding it down solo (yes, I know she’s with Cam—but still, I said what I said 👀). We talk about losing your spark, shifting identity, and how so many mamas are running on empty with no village in sight. And baby, don’t get me started on getting your makeup done for labor! Is it a power move or just for the 'Gram? Either way, do you, boo. We wrap things up with a spicy take on the celeb “C-tuck” trend—because this snapback pressure? It’s not giving realistic. It's a juicy one—funny, honest, and full of those “so what now?” moments. Press play! 🎙️✨ CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: | 📱INSTAGRAM: 📱TIKTOK: 🎙ADVERTISE WITH US:
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EP 28: Birthday Blues & Ride-or-Die Red Flags
05/05/2025
EP 28: Birthday Blues & Ride-or-Die Red Flags
Hey y’all, it’s Carla! My birthday’s coming up, and let’s just say I’ve been in my feelings. In this episode I shared how I’ve been mourning parts of my younger self and wishing I could go back and change a few things. Dex reminded me that aging isn’t just loss — it’s also growth and new beginnings, and honestly, I needed to hear that. We also unpacked a wild episode of Dear Future Wifey where a pastor’s wife said she used to iron her man’s clothes so he could go see his side chick. Yes, you read that right. She said it was her calling from God to support him — and while I respect her story, I had to come through with scripture because God did not call us to suffer through infidelity or abuse. Dex and I got into how the church sometimes pushes a “ride or die” message for women, and it’s not always holy — sometimes it’s just harmful. Then we talked about the price of love — literally. A woman spent $10K on a dating coach and is now engaged. Dex thinks finding your person is priceless, but what do yall think? We close with a heavy listener letter from someone stuck in a relationship that’s emotionally draining and rooted in fear, not love. The message? Guilt isn't a reason to stay, and sometimes choosing yourself is the most loving thing you can do. Real talk, spiritual checks, and birthday fears — this episode has it all. CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: | 📱INSTAGRAM: 📱TIKTOK: 🎙ADVERTISE WITH US:
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EP 27: Did We Self-Love Ourselves Into Loneliness?
04/28/2025
EP 27: Did We Self-Love Ourselves Into Loneliness?
Hey friend, it’s Dex, and we’re back with another episode of So What Now? — where the convos are deep, the laughs are loud, and the side-eyes are always earned. This week, we kicked things off with a little life catch-up. I ran a Hyrox race (yes, me — running, sweating, questioning my life choices), while Carla was out here being the hostess with the mostess for Easter. Deviled eggs were served, auntie gossip was flowing — it was fabulous. Then we got into that trending Traci Ellis Ross interview. Traci said, “I grieve the things that I thought would be and that are not.” No husband. No kids. And sometimes, sadness about that. So Carla asked the big question: Did we self-love ourselves into loneliness? She feels a woman needs male partnership. I said… let’s pause. Alone doesn’t have to mean lonely. And then I hit her with the real one: How exactly would a romantic relationship improve your life, ma’am? What do you need more than me? Let’s talk about it. After that emotional rollercoaster, we had to pivot to something wild — the whole Shannon Sharpe situation. And listen… we are not as freaky as we thought we were. Period. We’re watching it all unfold, and it’s a ride we did not ask to be on. Then we wrapped with a few listener letters from a mama who’s at her wits’ end with her grown daughter who refuses to follow the rules. To besties battling over a man, ew! Tune in, tap in, and DM us your thoughts — because chile, we had thoughts. Let’s get into it. CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: | 📱INSTAGRAM: 📱TIKTOK: 🎙ADVERTISE WITH US: Rate, Review & Follow UsIf you laughed, felt seen, or screamed "same," take 30 seconds to rate and review the show. ⭐ Scroll to the bottom of our Apple Podcasts page ⭐ Tap to rate 5 stars ⭐ Hit “Write a Review” and tell us what you loved most Your support keeps this going—and we read every word. Our Sponsors This episode is powered by our partners at Hi Hello Labs and . Looking to level up your podcast or bring your show to life? These are the teams making it happen. Ready to Start Your Podcast? Let Carla help you launch your podcast in just 30 days. → → and get personal strategy support Need Advice? Want to Sound Off? Send your questions, hot takes, or real-life mess to: 📧 We might read your letter on the next episode—anonymously, of course.
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EP 26: The Truth About 50/50 Love and Trauma Bonds
04/21/2025
EP 26: The Truth About 50/50 Love and Trauma Bonds
Hey friends, it’s Carla and this week’s episode of So What Now was a whole mix of “wait, what?” and “absolutely not.” We kicked things off with Ayesha Howard, who recently responded to the backlash around her decision to keep her baby. And listen… her response didn’t move me. At all. I said what I said, and I still feel the same way. Then we got into this Florida city trying to roll out a 4-day school week, which sounds cool until you realize... parents still work 5. So who’s watching the kids on that fifth day? Make it make sense. Policies like this just make parenting even harder, and we had a lot to say about it. Of course, we couldn’t resist a little detour into celebrity mess this time it’s the Beckhams. Apparently the two brothers aren’t speaking because the younger one is now dating his big brother’s ex. Yes, you read that right. We unpacked that drama and asked the real question: Is it ever okay to date your sibling’s ex? (Spoiler: I have strong opinions) And then we got a little deeper. Gabrielle Union recently walked back her old stance on 50/50 relationships, saying it came from a place of trauma. That opened the door for us to dig into the 4 trauma response types Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn. Which one are you? Are you a mix? Dex and I broke it all down and, let’s just say, we learned a lot about ourselves in the process. As always, thanks for showing up, listening, and being part of this wild little podcast of ours. We’re grateful for y’all every week. – Carla CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: | 📱INSTAGRAM: 📱TIKTOK: 🎙ADVERTISE WITH US: Rate, Review & Follow UsIf you laughed, felt seen, or screamed "same," take 30 seconds to rate and review the show. ⭐ Scroll to the bottom of our Apple Podcasts page ⭐ Tap to rate 5 stars ⭐ Hit “Write a Review” and tell us what you loved most Your support keeps this going—and we read every word. Our Sponsors This episode is powered by our partners at Hi Hello Labs and . Looking to level up your podcast or bring your show to life? These are the teams making it happen. Ready to Start Your Podcast? Let Carla help you launch your podcast in just 30 days. → → and get personal strategy support Need Advice? Want to Sound Off? Send your questions, hot takes, or real-life mess to: 📧 We might read your letter on the next episode—anonymously, of course.
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EP 25: Dex Is a Liar & Carla’s in Denial — 25 Questions for 25 Episodes!
04/14/2025
EP 25: Dex Is a Liar & Carla’s in Denial — 25 Questions for 25 Episodes!
We made it to 25 episodes, y’all! Our little podcast baby is all grown up, and to celebrate, Carla and I decided to do something fun (and slightly chaotic): 25 questions to help you get to know us on a whole new level. No rules, barely any filters—just vibes, hot takes, and some lowkey oversharing. Carla went in on cancel culture, mental health, and the whole open relationship thing 👀. I opened up about monogamy, childhood stuff, and a few things I’ve been too scared to try (yet). It’s been a wild ride getting here, and whether you’ve been with us from day one or just hopped on—thank you. We see you, we love you, and trust—this is just the beginning. 🎧 Hit play, laugh with us, maybe even question everything you thought you knew about us. – Dex CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: | 📱INSTAGRAM: 📱TIKTOK: 🎙ADVERTISE WITH US: Rate, Review & Follow UsIf you laughed, felt seen, or screamed "same," take 30 seconds to rate and review the show. ⭐ Scroll to the bottom of our Apple Podcasts page ⭐ Tap to rate 5 stars ⭐ Hit “Write a Review” and tell us what you loved most Your support keeps this going—and we read every word. Our Sponsors This episode is powered by our partners at Hi Hello Labs and . Looking to level up your podcast or bring your show to life? These are the teams making it happen. Ready to Start Your Podcast? Let Carla help you launch your podcast in just 30 days. → → and get personal strategy support Need Advice? Want to Sound Off? Send your questions, hot takes, or real-life mess to: 📧 We might read your letter on the next episode—anonymously, of course.
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EP 24: The Parenting Debate "Do Kids Need Their Own Room?" + Friendship Breakups? We Went There!
04/07/2025
EP 24: The Parenting Debate "Do Kids Need Their Own Room?" + Friendship Breakups? We Went There!
Hey Friend! Quick update: Carla’s allergies are finally under control, and I’m feeling better too—my back’s on the mend, so no more grandpa groans when I bend over. Small wins, y’all. Now, onto the episode. We dive into a topic that’s real for any of us with kids who split time between two homes—should children have their own bedroom at the non-custodial parent’s house? Carla, with her money grows on trees mentality, thinks it’s a must. Like, we all have the luxury of giving each kid their own room, right? But I’m out here saying, a kid can still feel welcome and loved without having their own space. The key is making them feel at home however you can. And then, we get into another tough letter from one of our listeners. Anonymous writer is feeling guilty but “over it” because she thinks she’s outgrown her drama-filled best friend. Now, Carla's over here like, “New besties are easy to find!” (So optimistic, huh?) Meanwhile, I think a real, honest conversation is the way to go before cutting ties. Don’t ghost your home girl—talk it out. That’s it for this week—tune in and let us know what you think. And if you’ve got any tough conversations you’re putting off, we definitely wanna hear about ‘em. Catch ya later, Dex CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: | 📱INSTAGRAM: 📱TIKTOK: 🎙ADVERTISE WITH US: Rate, Review & Follow UsIf you laughed, felt seen, or screamed "same," take 30 seconds to rate and review the show. ⭐ Scroll to the bottom of our Apple Podcasts page ⭐ Tap to rate 5 stars ⭐ Hit “Write a Review” and tell us what you loved most Your support keeps this going—and we read every word. Our Sponsors This episode is powered by our partners at Hi Hello Labs and . Looking to level up your podcast or bring your show to life? These are the teams making it happen. Ready to Start Your Podcast? Let Carla help you launch your podcast in just 30 days. → → and get personal strategy support Need Advice? Want to Sound Off? Send your questions, hot takes, or real-life mess to: 📧 We might read your letter on the next episode—anonymously, of course.
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EP 23: Ozempic Regrets, Disney Trips Without Kids, and Why Moms Can’t Win
03/31/2025
EP 23: Ozempic Regrets, Disney Trips Without Kids, and Why Moms Can’t Win
Hey Friend! First of all, let me just say Ozempic had me in a chokehold, and for what? We kicked off this episode talking about the shortcuts we’ve tried on the road to health and how most of them left us worse off than when we started. And yes, I fully admit I was out here thinking a shot would do what discipline and patience are supposed to. 😩 Meanwhile, Ruthie’s out here running half marathons like a champ, and our pastor had the nerve to call us out mid-sermon about our lifestyle choices. Rude but also accurate. Then we slid right into mom territory because whew, the judgment is loud. We’re talking solo Disney trips, “Should you be leaving your kids that long?” energy, and why people love to bring up your bank account the minute you do something for yourself. Let’s be clear, moms deserve joy too, even if that joy looks like Dole Whip and fireworks without sticky little fingers everywhere. And of course, it wouldn’t be us if we didn’t go there with social media. We unpacked the chaos of being vulnerable online, how people swear they know your whole life from one post, and why sometimes you just wanna keep your healing to yourself. If you’ve ever felt torn between sharing and protecting your peace, you’ll feel this one. Tap in and let us know, are you Team “Take the solo trip” or Team “Girl, stay home?” 👀 CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: | 📱INSTAGRAM: 📱TIKTOK: 🎙ADVERTISE WITH US: Rate, Review & Follow UsIf you laughed, felt seen, or screamed "same," take 30 seconds to rate and review the show. ⭐ Scroll to the bottom of our Apple Podcasts page ⭐ Tap to rate 5 stars ⭐ Hit “Write a Review” and tell us what you loved most Your support keeps this going—and we read every word. Our Sponsors This episode is powered by our partners at Hi Hello Labs and . Looking to level up your podcast or bring your show to life? These are the teams making it happen. Ready to Start Your Podcast? Let Carla help you launch your podcast in just 30 days. → → and get personal strategy support Need Advice? Want to Sound Off? Send your questions, hot takes, or real-life mess to: 📧 We might read your letter on the next episode—anonymously, of course.
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EP22: She Had the Baby Anyway—Was That a Mistake? Plus Too Old for Nudes, Too Grown for Bad Baby Daddies?
03/24/2025
EP22: She Had the Baby Anyway—Was That a Mistake? Plus Too Old for Nudes, Too Grown for Bad Baby Daddies?
First of all, we are old. Like, what is happening?! My allergies are out here fighting for their life, and Dex’s back is giving up on her. If y’all have any remedies for allergies that don’t involve me living in a bubble, let me know because I am struggling. But let’s get into it—this week, we had a very heated debate over Ayesha Howard and Anthony Howard. Listen, I just have questions—like, is it okay to still be making major mistakes at 38 when choosing who to have a baby with? Because at some point, shouldn’t we be making better decisions? Meanwhile, Dex is over here saying we’re all making assumptions about Ayesha’s situation, and she deserves more grace. And the big question—should a woman give up her baby just because the man makes it clear he doesn’t want to be involved? Whew. We got into it. Speaking of bad decisions at our big age, we took a little detour to talk about the Take It Down Act—which, yes, is being pushed by Melania Trump. It’s aimed at protecting people from revenge porn, but it had us asking—are grown people still sending nudes in 2025? Then we switch gears to 19-year-old Aleyshia Ortiz, who is out here suing her school district for graduating her without knowing how to read or write. WHO is to blame for this? The school system? Her parents? Dex is out here calling for George Bush’s standardized testing (who knew she’d miss that?!), and I—Carla—am putting this one on her mama.Because how do you not notice your child can’t read?! We need to hear from y’all! Should Ayesha have kept the baby? Are we too old to be sending nudes? And who do we blame for Aleyshia’s situation? Hit us up! Let’s talk about it. 👏🏽 CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: | 📱INSTAGRAM: 📱TIKTOK: 🎙ADVERTISE WITH US:
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EP21: Casey Anthony the Advocate?! Girl, Be Serious
03/17/2025
EP21: Casey Anthony the Advocate?! Girl, Be Serious
Alright y’all, this week’s episode is a rollercoaster. First up, Carla has big feelings about Casey Anthony’s latest rebrand as a legal advocate. Yea, you read that right. And let’s just say, she has some thoughts. Then, we get into Gayle King going to space with Jeff Bezos’ wife. Carla thinks it’s cool. Me? Absolutely not. Why are rich people so obsessed with space? It’s not like you can actually get out and explore. Somebody make it make sense. And speaking of nonsense, Omarion is out here saying he doesn’t take women on dates—he takes them on gatherings. You know I’m rolling my eyes, right? Ugh! Carla thinks he’s giving off feminine energy. Either way, the dating bar is in hell, ladies. We wrapped things up with a listener letter from a woman who wants to date differently—she’s trying to slow things down but doesn’t want to scare men off. So, how do you unlearn rushing into relationships and actually get to know someone before jumping in? We get into it. Hit play, and let’s talk about it! 🎙️ CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: | 📱INSTAGRAM: 📱TIKTOK: 🎙ADVERTISE WITH US: Rate, Review & Follow UsIf you laughed, felt seen, or screamed "same," take 30 seconds to rate and review the show. ⭐ Scroll to the bottom of our Apple Podcasts page ⭐ Tap to rate 5 stars ⭐ Hit “Write a Review” and tell us what you loved most Your support keeps this going—and we read every word. Our Sponsors This episode is powered by our partners at Hi Hello Labs and . Looking to level up your podcast or bring your show to life? These are the teams making it happen. Ready to Start Your Podcast? Let Carla help you launch your podcast in just 30 days. → → and get personal strategy support Need Advice? Want to Sound Off? Send your questions, hot takes, or real-life mess to: 📧 We might read your letter on the next episode—anonymously, of course.
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EP20: Why You’re Always Tired, Craving Chocolate, Gaining Weight, and Coach Netra on PCOS
03/10/2025
EP20: Why You’re Always Tired, Craving Chocolate, Gaining Weight, and Coach Netra on PCOS
Ooooh, friend, buckle up ‘cause this episode is packed with Aha! moments and truths that'll hit you straight in the chest. We had our second-ever guest, the fabulous Coach Netra, a lifestyle and nutrition coach who’s all about women’s health. And you KNOW we had a ton of questions for her. Now, who remembers when we could hit the gym for just a week in our 20s and come out snatched? Yeah, baby… those days are long gone. I’m over here tryna figure out why I crave chocolate around my cycle, and Carla’s out here wondering if it’s okay to keep breaking her water fast with a 7-Eleven hotdog. Coach Netra breaks it all down for us. Self-care? Is no smooth ride, but honey, we gotta choose our hard. We also dove deep into the nitty-gritty about PCOS, hormones, and whether we’re lazy or just outta balance. We wrapped it up with a rapid-fire round of Fact or Cap, on some of the biggest diet and exercise trends. Trust me, you do NOT wanna miss that part. Hit play, listen up, and get your life together with us, girl! CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: | 📱INSTAGRAM: 📱TIKTOK: 🎙ADVERTISE WITH US: Rate, Review & Follow UsIf you laughed, felt seen, or screamed "same," take 30 seconds to rate and review the show. ⭐ Scroll to the bottom of our Apple Podcasts page ⭐ Tap to rate 5 stars ⭐ Hit “Write a Review” and tell us what you loved most Your support keeps this going—and we read every word. Our Sponsors This episode is powered by our partners at Hi Hello Labs and . Looking to level up your podcast or bring your show to life? These are the teams making it happen. Ready to Start Your Podcast? Let Carla help you launch your podcast in just 30 days. → → and get personal strategy support Need Advice? Want to Sound Off? Send your questions, hot takes, or real-life mess to: 📧 We might read your letter on the next episode—anonymously, of course.
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EP19: Dex is Messy, Carla is Cutting People Off, & the Internet is Wild
03/03/2025
EP19: Dex is Messy, Carla is Cutting People Off, & the Internet is Wild
Hey Friend! Its me, ! Whew, this episode was a ride! is officially a Cowboy Carter ticket holder (Beyhive, stand up!), and I’ve been auditing my top five closest people—we’ll see who makes it and who’s getting cut real quick. Our Woman of the Week is the one and only Joy Reid—because duh, she’s amazing and I really want her to win. And shameless plug, I’d LOVE to work with her!!! Meanwhile, Dex, who was supposed to be focused on creating this episodes outline, went down a whole Neyo rabbit hole (thank you, Shaderoom), and now we’re deep-diving into polyamory, parenting, and when to introduce your kids to a new partner—especially in non-traditional relationships. Let’s just say, opinions were flying. And THEN, we got into a listener letter from "Caught Up in the DM"—sis has been flirting in the Instagram DMs for months, but instead of a date, she got a sexting buddy. Should she shoot her shot, or is this man just here for the content? You already know we had thoughts on this one. Hit play and let’s get into it! 🎧🔥 CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: | 📱INSTAGRAM: 📱TIK TOK:
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EP 18: Is Gentle Parenting Making Our Kids Soft? and Would You End a 20-Year Friendship Over a Man?
02/24/2025
EP 18: Is Gentle Parenting Making Our Kids Soft? and Would You End a 20-Year Friendship Over a Man?
In this episode of So What Now, hosts and dive into a thought-provoking discussion on parenting. They explore whether "gentle parenting" methods are truly benefiting children or inadvertently preventing them from learning valuable life lessons. Reflecting on their own upbringings, they share how their experiences with discipline and independence shaped their views. The conversation shifts gears as they unpack the evolution of "girl code." Carla and Dex examine whether the rules of girl code change as we get older. Would you end a 20 year friendship over a man? The fun escalates as they play a rapid-fire round of girl code questions, bringing plenty of laughs and hilarious moments. Tune in for an insightful, yet light-hearted, look at modern parenting and friendship dynamics! CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: | 📱INSTAGRAM: 📱TIKTOK: 🎙ADVERTISE WITH US: Rate, Review & Follow UsIf you laughed, felt seen, or screamed "same," take 30 seconds to rate and review the show. ⭐ Scroll to the bottom of our Apple Podcasts page ⭐ Tap to rate 5 stars ⭐ Hit “Write a Review” and tell us what you loved most Your support keeps this going—and we read every word. Our Sponsors This episode is powered by our partners at Hi Hello Labs and . Looking to level up your podcast or bring your show to life? These are the teams making it happen. Ready to Start Your Podcast? Let Carla help you launch your podcast in just 30 days. → → and get personal strategy support Need Advice? Want to Sound Off? Send your questions, hot takes, or real-life mess to: 📧 We might read your letter on the next episode—anonymously, of course.
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EP 17: Red Flags & Maternal Regret: Are We the Problem?
02/17/2025
EP 17: Red Flags & Maternal Regret: Are We the Problem?
In this episode and dive into the controversial topic of maternal regret. Some women openly admit to regretting having children—are they just being brutally honest, or is this a sign of deeper societal pressure? Carla and Dex unpack the complex feelings surrounding motherhood and why it’s such a triggering subject. Shifting gears, Carla and Dex tackle the question: Are women actually the problem in relationships? The conversation takes a hilarious turn when they play a green and red flag game to figure out if they’re toxic. Spoiler alert: Dex discovers she might just be a walking red flag—who knew? Tune in for laughs, real talk, and some surprising self-revelations about women, relationships, and motherhood. CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: | 📱INSTAGRAM: 📱TIK TOK:
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EP 16: Ex-posed: When Outing Your Ex Goes Too Far & Unpacking Love Themes in Classic Black Cinema
02/10/2025
EP 16: Ex-posed: When Outing Your Ex Goes Too Far & Unpacking Love Themes in Classic Black Cinema
In this week’s episode of So What Now, and dive into the tricky topic of whether it’s ever okay to air intimate details of past relationships, discussing the drama surrounding Royce Reed and Dwight Howard’s public feud. The love theme continues with a deep dive into iconic black love stories from classic films. Carla and Dex go head-to-head over Love and Basketball. While Carla believes it’s one of the greatest love stories, Dex argues that Monica might’ve “settled” for her man. The conversation also touches on other beloved films like Poetic Justice and Boomerang, exploring the highs and lows of love and the lessons we take from them. To wrap things up, they bring some much-needed levity with a feel-good of the week: Reality TV. In a world full of stress, there’s nothing like escaping into the absurd drama of the rich and famous. From ridiculous fights to jaw-dropping moments, we are reminded to laugh at the unseriousness of it all. Tune in for laughs, heated debates, and of course, a little dose of reality! CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: | 📱INSTAGRAM: 📱TIK TOK:
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EP 15: Roses Are Red, Kirk’s Lies Never End, Cleo Had Drama, Here’s A Playlist We Recommend
02/03/2025
EP 15: Roses Are Red, Kirk’s Lies Never End, Cleo Had Drama, Here’s A Playlist We Recommend
It’s officially the month of LOVE, and in this episode and dive into some most infamous love stories—from the drama-filled relationship of Kirk and Rasheda to Cleopatra and Marc Anthony’s empire-shattering romance. They explore what happens when love becomes larger than life and, in some cases, leads to downfall. But it’s not all about toxic love flames! With Valentine’s Day approaching, the duo discusses how to romanticize your own life, especially when it feels like everyone else is celebrating a relationship. Carla and Dex share why it’s important to cultivate your own sense of joy, adventure, and self-love, and not wait for a partner to check off those life experiences. Plus, to set the mood for the season, they’ve curated a special Valentine’s Day playlist. Each of them shares 5 songs that best capture the essence of love and relationships. Whether you're single or taken, these tracks will have you feeling all the love! Tune in for a mix of history, self-love advice, and some seriously good tunes. CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: | 📱INSTAGRAM: 📱TIK TOK:
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EP14: Hookah, Hookups, and Hopes for Something More
01/27/2025
EP14: Hookah, Hookups, and Hopes for Something More
In this episode and dive deep into the evolving landscape of modern relationships and what it really means to partner up in today’s world. They unpack the idea of non-traditional relationships, questioning whether the paths they once thought they wanted are actually the ones that align with their true desires. Is Sheryl Lee Ralph’s unconventional situation with her husband a model of modern love, or is it just plain weird? Dex reveals her unique perspective on love and relationships. Meanwhile, Carla shares an update on her 2025 commitment to get back into the dating scene, from China to the Bahamas, is it all the same? Is modern dating as exciting or are we all just going through the motions? Tune in for a candid, funny, and thought-provoking discussion about what we really want out of our relationships, and whether what’s traditional is still the best option. CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: | 📱INSTAGRAM: 📱TIK TOK:
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EP13: Beyoncé Cancels, Carla Confesses, and LA’s Crisis
01/20/2025
EP13: Beyoncé Cancels, Carla Confesses, and LA’s Crisis
In this week’s episode and to catch you up on all the current events. We kick things off with Beyoncé’s surprising move to cancel her highly anticipated announcement, leaving fans buzzing. Plus, we reflect on recent actions from political leaders and the messages they’re sending. The conversation heats up as we discuss the devastating LA fires and how natural disasters continue to disproportionately impact marginalized communities. Carla makes a surprising confession about her recycling habits (or lack thereof), sparking a meaningful discussion on environmental responsibility. And finally, the ultimate question: is it ever appropriate to call your ex-wife "the baby momma"? Tune in for laughter, honest takes, and a little self-reflection as we tackle life’s messy and meaningful moments. CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: | 📱INSTAGRAM: 📱TIK TOK:
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EP12: What is Closure??
01/13/2025
EP12: What is Closure??
While Carla takes some time to recover from the flu, we’re rewinding to one of your favorite episodes from the Sh*t I’m 30 archive! This week, Carla and Dexty dive into the drama-filled world of relationships, tackling breakups, makeups, baby mamas, and the ever-controversial topic of break babies. It’s raw, it’s real, and it’s packed with the laughs. Don’t miss this trip down memory lane! CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: | 📱INSTAGRAM: 📱TIK TOK:
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EP11: Libido Low, Vibrator on High: Moms Need Lovin Too!
01/06/2025
EP11: Libido Low, Vibrator on High: Moms Need Lovin Too!
This week we’re diving headfirst into the spicy (and hilariously awkward) world of sex in your 30s and 40s! From scheduling "sexy time" to uncovering why your libido might be MIA (spoiler: social media could be to blame), we’re spilling all the tea. And if that’s not enough, and are bringing wild, laugh-out-loud stories that’ll leave you cringing, cackling, and maybe feeling a touch of secondhand embarrassment! 🚨 Disclaimer: This episode is NOT kid-friendly. Unless you want to explain what a sex dungeon is or why vibrators shouldn’t double as microphones, listen solo! CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: | 📱INSTAGRAM: 📱TIK TOK:
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