Smash Fiction is a debate-style comedy podcast in which a rotating cast of nerds argue on behalf of their chosen fictional characters. Only one can win!
info_outline Cage Match 2021 - Johnny Collins vs. Robin Feld vs. Hero vs. Seth 12/25/2021
Cage Match 2021 - Johnny Collins vs. Robin Feld vs. Hero vs. Seth Merry Cagemas, gentle listeners, and welcome to the seventh annual Cage Match, presented by the largely (but not entirely) defunct Smash Fiction podcast! Four Nicolas Cage characters are set to do battle for the title of World Heavyweight Cage, and these particular Cages are among the most wretched and tragic in the notoriously eccentric actor's oeuvre! Has Kit finally found a Cage worthy of their strange devotion in the form of Johnny from Zandalee? Is Miles' somehow even more nihilistic interpretation of Pig enough to turn a chef into a champion? Can Claire actually remember what happened in Prisoners of the Ghostland? And will MeganBob fall from grace in defense of Seth from City of Angels, or soar to new heights on gilded wings? Or, you know, just start shipping everyone? Special guest judge Kris Newton presides as the SmashFic crew comes together once again to celebrate friendship, good cheer, and of course, bullshit. Cage bless us, every one!
info_outline Hard Choices Feed Update! 11/13/2021
Hard Choices Feed Update! Good news everyone! There are more Hard Choices episodes waiting for you right now on the Hard Choices feed! You should be able to locate it on all the podcatchers. Here's the one for , if that's your bag! If you have any troubles locating Hard Choices in your podcatcher, just hit me up @meganbobness on Twitter or in the . There's also a if you want even more and you want it now! Now, if you're Hard Choices curious, but not sure if it's for you, give this a quick listen because I'm going to try and pitch you on why it's worth a shot. You're great and I'm so dang grateful for all of your support!
info_outline Hard Choices 3 - Marvel Cinematic Universe 07/01/2021
Hard Choices 3 - Marvel Cinematic Universe Boners assemble! It's time to rank the fuckability of the Marvel Cinematic Universe and the team of Claire, Kit, and Dan Mulkerin, along with MeganBob, are ready to romance one of the most expansive franchises in modern history. In their quest to find the median of fuckability, you'll learn more about robot sex than you ever thought you'd need to know, more about our hosts than ever before, and perhaps an answer to the question of just how exactly does the Hulk smash. So, grab your best spandex outfit and climb aboard the helicarrier for a ride that you'll never forget. Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!): License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW
info_outline Hard Choices 2 - 90's Star Trek 06/04/2021
Hard Choices 2 - 90's Star Trek The second installment of Hard Choices is on the viewscreen and it’s a doozy. Join Miles Schneiderman and Ensign MeganBob, along with special guests Sharon Schneiderman and Kris Newton, as they beam aboard the USS Horny to bone where no podcast has dared to bone before. The show sets a course to discover the median of fuckability in the 90s Star Trek universe and learns a lot about our crew members along the way. So, put on your best jumpsuit and head to the holodeck for some quality hot takes on the Star Trek characters you grew up with. Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!): License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW
info_outline Hard Choices 1 - Lord of the Rings 04/01/2021
Hard Choices 1 - Lord of the Rings Welcome to Smash Fiction Presents: Hard Choices, a podcast appearing approximately whenever the mood strikes and guaranteed to explore new vistas of horniness! In this episode, Miles Schneiderman, Kit Mulkerin, MeganBob, and special guest Katrina Ehrnman-Newton rank the fuckability of 21 notable Lord of the Rings characters in an attempt to uncover who is the median most fuckable character in the LOTR universe. Turn down the torchlight, stuff your pipe with the finest weed in the Southfarthing, and get ready for some big feelings (the ones that really matter) in this sensual journey that Tolkien would absolutely never have approved of. Music and sound credit to: "Long Road Ahead", "Light Sting", "Der Kleber Sting," "Hero Theme," "In The West" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.filmmusic.io) License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license
info_outline Cage Match 2020 - Spider-Man Noir vs. Behmen von Bleibruck vs. Nathan Gardner vs. Cris Johnson vs. Wylie 12/25/2020
Cage Match 2020 - Spider-Man Noir vs. Behmen von Bleibruck vs. Nathan Gardner vs. Cris Johnson vs. Wylie It's been awhile, old friend, but Smash Fiction could never let go of that most sacred of holiday traditions, the Cagemas match. Gather around and let us spin you a tale of some Cages, a Cage Match arena, a man named Ebenezer, and the spirit of Cagemas that lives within us all. In this episode, Dan gives Spider Man Noir from Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse an opening argument that demands a standing ovation and Kit spills all the Alpaca dad knowledge on Nathan Gardner from Color Out of Space. But can Miles use his future sight to bring Cris Johnson from Next to victory? Can Liz make a hard left into Star Wars to secure a win for Wylie from Jiu Jitsu? Will MeganBob ever give us the recipe for a Cage Match winner while telling us all about Behmen von Bleibruck from Season of the Witch? Claire takes the reins in this Smash Fiction reunion show for the ages, so grab a warm drink and settle in for the Sixth Annual Cagemas Match!
info_outline Mordin's Final Song 11/29/2020
Mordin's Final Song Back when we recorded the fiftieth and final episode of Extraordinary League, Claire prepared one of her Mordin songs just in case we introduced ourselves at the beginning, going with a riff on the main theme from the opera "Maria and Draco" from the game Final Fantasy VI. We ended up not doing the usual type of intro for League episode 50, but we decided we didn't want Claire's effort going to waste. Now that the bonus content has been added to the feed, this seemed like a fitting note to go out on. We love you, ohana!
info_outline Surprise Party - Live from Saboten Con 2018 (feat. Matias Tautimez and Sharon Schneiderman) 02/16/2020
Surprise Party - Live from Saboten Con 2018 (feat. Matias Tautimez and Sharon Schneiderman) If you're hurting for some more Smash Fiction content, we have a blast from the past for you! Cast your mind to Phoenix, Arizona, back to the halcyon days of 2018, where Miles, Sharon, and Matias hosted a Surprise Party panel! Listen as three unwitting volunteers find themselves drawing characters from sources like Ben 10, Akira, Warhammer 40,000, Gravity Falls, and a surprising number of actual living people, and then send their parties on an epic quest for real, physical prizes! It's fun for the whole family! Presuming, of course, your family is a bunch of nerds.
info_outline Extraordinary League 49 - Epilogue 02/02/2020
Extraordinary League 49 - Epilogue Our heroes say goodbye. Music from "Motherlode" and "District Four" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com). License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/) Additional music and sounds from tabletopaudio.com
info_outline SMASH BASH III 01/19/2020
SMASH BASH III This is it: the final, climactic end of the Smash Fiction saga! As we prepare to draw the curtain on this story, we gather together for one final, over-the-top contest of strength, wits, and bullshit. We've seen fifty characters rise to victory over the course of season 3, but only one of them will ascend to the truly elevated status of SMASH BASH champion! The show may be coming to a close, but we have plenty of plans for the future, so make sure you stick around till the end of the episode to hear what to expect from us very soon. Thank you for such an amazing ride! Theme song is from https://filmmusic.io - "Hitman" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com). License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)
info_outline 150 - Obi-Wan Kenobi vs. Luke Skywalker vs. Rey (feat. Rafael Medina) 01/12/2020
150 - Obi-Wan Kenobi vs. Luke Skywalker vs. Rey (feat. Rafael Medina) The Smash Fiction saga comes to a climactic finish with our final match! That Tome of Eternal Darkness is up to its old tricks, and with its current hamburger-obsessed host proving to be a bit lackluster, the book stretches its dark tendrils across time and space in search of more fertile minds to corrupt. What it finds are three Jedi at the height of their respective powers. All three want to destroy the book... but none are willing to trust the tome's destruction to a lesser Force user. Rafael Medina joins us once more as we ask: Will Revenge of the Sith-era Obi-Wan's training, experience, and command of the high ground lead him to success? Will Rise of Skywalker-era Rey prove that these other two should stay in the past where they belong? Or will Return of the Jedi-era Luke Skywalker go down to Tosche Station to pick up the power converters... of victory?
info_outline Ship Wrecked 7 - Coffee, Casinos, and Contractions (feat. Brad Bultman) 12/29/2019
Ship Wrecked 7 - Coffee, Casinos, and Contractions (feat. Brad Bultman) Sometimes the holidays come and go and you still haven't gotten everything on your wishlist. Somehow, no one noticed your specific requests for bad accents and worse puns. Well, fret no more, because we're sending off 2019 in style with the final episode of Ship Wrecked! That's right, we've gathered together four of the nastiest characters from fiction in an effort to see if any of them are capable of finding true love. Can characters from Final Fantasy, Steven Universe, Call of Duty, and the works of Dr. Seuss navigate both the pitfalls of relationships and the challenges put forth by our capricious host? Come for the shipping, stay for the unexpected plot developments! Additional sound effects from sydneyturner.com and from youtube.com/watch?v=U34MegCHlig.
info_outline 149 - Sean Archer vs. Stanley Goodspeed vs. Joe Majors vs. Terence McDonagh 12/22/2019
149 - Sean Archer vs. Stanley Goodspeed vs. Joe Majors vs. Terence McDonagh It's that time of year once again, listeners: time for the fifth annual Cage Match! That's right, we have a collection of characters from across Nicolas Cage's filmography gathered together in the squared circle for a no-holds-barred fight to the finish. Will The Rock's Stanley Goodspeed avoid the flaming trolley car of defeat? Can Terence McDonagh of Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans put enough drugs into his system to alchemically transform himself into a winner? Can Sean Archer succeed where his Face/Off costar Castor Troy failed? And what the hell is Joe Majors from Between Worlds doing here anyway?
info_outline Garden Plots with Skeletor Trailer 12/15/2019
Garden Plots with Skeletor Trailer Are you looking for gardening guidance but can’t stand the vague, wishy-washy answers to your plant problems? Are you sick and tired of advice from people you wouldn’t trust to peel an orange, much less fertilize an orchid? Well you're in luck, because it is I, Skeletor, here casting pods at you. If you know anything about my work, and you should, it's that I am the sworn enemy of He-Man and the rightful Master of the Universe! What you may not know is that I'm also the rightful master of gardening! Overwatering? Underwatering? Not sure how to water your plants? NOT ON MY WATCH. Garden Plots with Skeletor is a scheme, I mean podcast, that will save your plants from your black-thumbed buffoonery and will turn you into… well, it will not turn you a Master of the Universe, but it will make you a less incompetent gardener! With my commands, your backyard will flourish, your window boxes will blossom, and you’ll finally get that cool ‘urban jungle’ look that people keep talking about. Most importantly, you won’t disappoint me, which is something I assure you you would be wise to avoid. Subscribe to Garden Plots with Skeletor wherever you get your podcasts. Garden Plots with Skeletor! Scheming to keep your greens… green.
info_outline Surprise Party 12 - A Small Strike Team 12/15/2019
Surprise Party 12 - A Small Strike Team In the year 2183, a discovery is made that will shake interstellar society to its core and change the face of the galaxy forever. With the fate of humanity itself hanging in the balance, what we need now more than ever... is a group of seemingly random fictional characters! That's right, Surprise Party warps in for one last mission as we tackle the seminal sci-fi video game Mass Effect! Join us as characters from ThunderCats, Animorphs, Fire Emblem, and many other fictional properties load their M-8 Avengers, check the alignment on the Mako, and board the Normandy for a morally-charged galactic adventure! Which fictional character will Dan leave to die on Virmire? Which characters will Meganbob ship into having a steamy cutscene together? Can any of Kit's characters even use a gun? There's only one way to find out!
info_outline 148 - Mario vs. Barbie vs. Buckaroo Banzai 12/08/2019
148 - Mario vs. Barbie vs. Buckaroo Banzai There's multitalented characters and then there's multitalented characters. In this match, we compare the most overqualified contestants possible for our Polymathlete Decathlon. No other podcast has the brilliance, the vision, the madness to bring together Mario of video game fame, Barbie of plastic toy fame, and Buckaroo Banzai of cult classic film fame. You'd think by episode 148 we've already reached the heights of weirdness we're capable of, but this episode proves that there's no upper limit to our insanity. Listen as Claire dives deep into the vast back catalog of Mario media, Liz calls reality into question (more than once), and MeganBob drives a taxi for a bit. Stay strapped in for one of the most out of the box rounds of rebuttals we've ever had.
info_outline Extraordinary League 47 - The League Strikes Back 12/01/2019
Extraordinary League 47 - The League Strikes Back Despite all their planning and preparation, the League find themselves on the back foot as the Doom Star reaches completion. All that's left now is a last-ditch attempt to try and destroy it before the Father of Machines uses it to conquer the multiverse once and for all. Will the combined might of the Extraordinary League be enough to break Phyrexia's ultimate weapon, or will our heroes find themselves... doomed? Stitch builds a pepperoni effigy; Luna reaches out with her feelings; Archer has one more for the road; and Mordin learns from the best. Thanks again to Mr. Jumbo for this episode's intro music! Check out more of his works at youtube.com/jumboguitarist.
info_outline Miles Has Feelings: Capitalism Finds a Way (November 2019 Bonus Content) 11/28/2019
Miles Has Feelings: Capitalism Finds a Way (November 2019 Bonus Content) This episode originally aired as the Patreon bonus episode for November 2019. The original description follows: WARNING: This episode contains massive spoilers for both Jurassic World and Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom! Happy (American) Thanksgiving, friends! If you've been interacting with us on social media or just listening to some of our recent episodes, you know that Miles has been exceptionally busy with real-life stuff lately. However, even major life changes aren't enough to stop everyone's favorite curmudgeon from sharing his thoughts about stuff, particularly stuff voted on by our Patrons! He and Claire sat down to continue the conversation teased in a recent Smash Fiction episode: what's the deal with 2015's Jurassic World? Seriously though, what IS the deal with this movie? Is it a dumb, corporate action movie, or a SATIRE of a dumb, corporate action movie? Is there any intelligent, artistic DNA in this story, or has it been too overwhelmingly spliced with crap? And what does this film have to do with a piece of 1960s installation art? Tune in to find out, and as always, thanks for helping to support the show!
info_outline 147 - Toph Beifong vs. Alex Louis Armstrong vs. Terra 11/24/2019
147 - Toph Beifong vs. Alex Louis Armstrong vs. Terra The fourth and final Smash Fiction elemental free-for-all hits like an avalanche as three terrakinetics throw down for supremacy! The dragon Deathwing looks to celebrate his previous conquests and set the stage for his next glorious victory by staging a tournament of earth-users. Three magic portals later, he has his competitors: Toph Beifong from Avatar: The Last Airbender, Alex Louis Armstrong from Fullmetal Alchemist, and Terra of the Teen Titans from DC Comics! Which dirt-flinging powerhouse will win the favor of Deathwing the Destroyer? And more importantly, can Claire, Dan, and Kit survive that most earth-shattering of threats: a Liz Logan lightning round?!
info_outline Collaboratory 12 - Over the Moon (feat. Shannon Manor) 11/17/2019
Collaboratory 12 - Over the Moon (feat. Shannon Manor) You know how some movies become so widely-seen and are so influential that they become an unavoidable part of everyday life? The kinds of movies that you just HAVE to see? Well that's what we have for you in the lab today. It was inevitable, really. I mean, not only do we have characters from Ponyo, Transformers, There Will Be Blood, and The Muppets, but we also have podcaster (and lead character designer from Archer) Shannon Manor lending her talents to the episode! You HAVE to listen to this one. Otherwise how are you going to get all the jokes about goats, future ties, and close-up magic that all the cool kids are telling?
info_outline 146 - Spider-Man vs. Arkham Asylum (feat. Joshua Unruh) 11/10/2019
146 - Spider-Man vs. Arkham Asylum (feat. Joshua Unruh) Boy, that Parker luck really is the gift that keeps on giving, isn't it? When the Daily Bugle's most mediocre photographer gets sent to Gotham City to capture some images of the psychological hospital and prison known as Arkham Asylum, he ends up at ground zero for a huge breakout of superpowered psychopaths. This may not, strictly speaking, be a job for Spider-Man... but he's the only person who could possibly take on the many supervillains that are now running free through the asylum's darkened hallways. Will Spider-Man catch these criminals just like flies, or will the combined forces of Harley Quinn, the Scarecrow, Killer Croc, Bane, Poison Ivy, and the Joker have the last laugh? We have neither the great power nor the great responsibility to tackle this issue on our own. Fortunately we managed to rope in author, podcaster, and superhero scholar Joshua Unruh to break down comics' greatest rogues' gallery! Join us as Claire employs some psychological warfare of her own, Dan tries VERY HARD to be objective, Meganbob sexualizes the asylum itself, and Miles takes a bow in his final episode as a judge!
info_outline Extraordinary League 46 - A Power to Rival the Sun 11/03/2019
Extraordinary League 46 - A Power to Rival the Sun While the rest of the League work to prepare for the final battle against Doom and his forces, Mordin takes a small group to a different world in search of the final gemstone to defeat Phyrexia. They'll soon find, however, that this is a dangerous world, that the Phyrexians are not far behind, and that, even in the remote parts of the multiverse, they can always find a familiar face. Mordin tries on an old look; Sombra really needs to be nerfed; Titania gives out some questionable boons; Elijah Snow fights fire without fire; and Skeletor battles the fearsome branch troll. Special thanks to both Mr. Jumbo for the intro music (youtube.com/jumboguitarist) and to Sound Makers for the special character theme halfway through the episode (youtube.com/bobthesheep22)!
info_outline 145 - Death vs. Death vs. Death vs. Joe Black (feat. Sharon Schneiderman) 10/27/2019
145 - Death vs. Death vs. Death vs. Joe Black (feat. Sharon Schneiderman) Smash Fiction has always been about answering the oldest questions, and on this final episode of Smashtoberfest, we answer one of the oldest: Which Death is the best Death? It's a Death-Off, you might call it. Or maybe a Death Match. A Death Fight. A Death Conflict. A War of Deaths. A High-Tension Situation Between Deaths. A Deathybrook. I don't know, maybe there's some other, more marketable term for this kind of thing that could conceivably become popular on a platform like YouTube, but I'm sure I don't know what it is. Anyway, when the afterlife suddenly has an opening at the position of psychopomp, four fictional Deaths arrive to apply for the job. Death from Discworld writes out his application in all caps; Death from Sandman shows up for her interview in an outfit so outlandishly gothy that only she could possibly pull it off; Death from Bill And Ted's Bogus Journey is ready to show off a wide range of gaming skills; and nobody from Afterlife Resources is quite prepared when it's time to meet Joe Black. Which Death will successfully demonstrate their skill at transitioning souls to the next life and snag the gig with the biggest scythe (not to mention some sweet benefits)? Sharon Schneiderman returns to help us find out in an episode that, with no adult supervision in sight, rapidly descends into ridiculous chaos, never to recover. Also, Liz Logan outsources her argument, MeganBob demands softnessfaction, and Miles bullshits his last.
info_outline Ship Wrecked 6 - Tricks, Treats, and Twins (feat. Spike) 10/20/2019
Ship Wrecked 6 - Tricks, Treats, and Twins (feat. Spike) Welcome back to Ship Wrecked, and do we have a show for you! It's an episode of firsts: not only does Miles join the cast, but so does our special guest Spike from the Phantom Heights podcast! And of course, because it's the time of year that we call Smashtoberfest, we try our hand at an extra-spooky episode of Ship Wrecked. Will our contestants--a businessman, a madman, an arachnid princess, and the literal devil--find love with each other? Come to think of it, with Halloween right around the corner, will any of them survive the terrors to come? And, because it's Smashtoberfest, we also make use of music from https://filmmusic.io "The Dread" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com). License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)
info_outline 144 - Raziel vs. Alucard 10/13/2019
144 - Raziel vs. Alucard Welcome, dear listeners, to The Last Smashtoberfest! To kick off our final month of horror-inspired content, aka "just a flimsy excuse to make Halloween jokes in silly voices," we have a pair of video game vampires at each other's throats! When the nameless world of Dark Souls requires an undead hero to find the Kiln of the First Flame, it's clearly a job for Raziel, wielder of the Soul Reaver and longtime nemesis lover frenemy of the vampire Kain! The time-traveling savior of Nosgoth might have to take possession of a random corpse every time he gets killed by the notoriously bad-ass monsters of Dark Souls, but that's nothing when you've already arranged your own resurrection or whatever. Soul Reaver is a hell of a drug, y'all. What matters is, he's up to the task. Unfortunately, Raziel isn't the only deathless abomination wandering these parts. Alucard, hero of Castlevania and winner of Spelling Your Dad's Name Backwards as an Act of Rebellion Magazine's Sexiest Man of the Year award three years running, is also here, and also eager to prove that he can conquer Dark Souls. Which gothic vampire boi will get the job done first and make their way to the Kiln, and the narratively impressive moral quandary that lies inside? Liz Logan breaks out her signature opening argument moves, Claire has a complicated history with Soul Reaver, and Alucard moons everybody. Plus, a brand new Smashtoberfest intro from Miles and Sharon that is simultaneously a labor of love and DEEPLY stupid. Thanks as always to Kevin MacLeod for the song we used, which is called "The Dread." Welcome to the end times!
info_outline Extraordinary League 45 - Fire and Shadow 10/06/2019
Extraordinary League 45 - Fire and Shadow With Doom's sinister plot drawing ever-closer to completion, the League know that they have to take any opportunity they can to strike out at the metallic despot. It's no wonder, then, that when Doom's secret time platform is discovered on the volcanic world of Mustafar, the League send five of their most dangerous members to destroy it. Will these heroes strike a telling blow against the lord of Phyrexia, or will they and their mission burn to ash? Squirrel Girl puts her degree to work; Amethyst tries some identity theft; Brock Samson charges into danger; Godzilla points out the folly of Doom; and Dante is deeply unqualified for a leadership position. Special thanks to both Mr. Jumbo for the intro music (youtube.com/jumboguitarist) and to Megaraptor for the final song before the credits (https://www.youtube.com/MultiPetriS)!
info_outline Surprise Party 11 - That's What Friends Are For 09/29/2019
Surprise Party 11 - That's What Friends Are For This podcast is contentious by nature, but if there's one thing we can all agree on, it's that humans suck and animals are way cooler and more interesting in every way. At least, we all agree on that when Kit is running Surprise Party and everyone wants her to award them the most points! It's a jungle out there in Smash Metafiction, and when Claire, Liz, and Miles all find themselves in the care of a human dumpus who, while undeniably shitty, doesn't deserve to get torn apart by Shere Khan, it's up to them to gather a group of animal protectors to ensure the hopeless little bastard gets safely back to the Man Village. On a related note, smash the animated patriarchy. But getting this kid home alive isn't the easiest thing in the world when hypnotic snakes, militaristic elephants, and pyromaniac monkey kings are all standing in your way. Which team of vaguely defined taxonomies will prove to have the Char(acter) Necessities? With our version of the Jungle Book downloaded and ready to hit your headphones, you're just the touch of a play button away from learning the answers and making all the other apes want to be like you!