Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast
Square Roots is like a book club, but for classic RPGs! Each episode John, Matthew, Jim and Vanessa play through another chunk of one of your favorite RPGs, from Final Fantasy through Chrono Trigger. Are they experts? No. Are they qualified? Absolutely not. Are they good at RPGs? Probably not. But they're the fun kind of dumb, and that's what counts.
info_outline
2025: Most Anticipated Games!
06/16/2025
2025: Most Anticipated Games!
2025 Most Anticipated Games! Square Roots - Episode 468 We're taking the week off, which somehow ended up with recording an hour and a half episode where we look through the upcoming games of 2025 and decide which we're into and which we're all like "no thanks, bro!" Some games that piqued our interest: * Middle Earth Trad-Wife Simulator * The Definitely Going To Release In October Vampire The Masquerade Bloodlines 2 * Husky Middle Aged Man Child Tries To Walk * Garfield Kart 2: All You Can Drift * Now You See Me Now You Don't Next Week: Defeat Oboro for the first time! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
/episode/index/show/squareroots/id/37022525
info_outline
Enchanted Arms Part 3: Cowboys & Plow Boys
06/09/2025
Enchanted Arms Part 3: Cowboys & Plow Boys
Enchanted Arms Part 3: Cowboys & Plow Boys Square Roots - Episode 467 Quest Log: 33:01 Level Up: 02:01:47 She's from [STATE REDACTED]! And he's from Florida! And HE's from Vancouver! She drinks Chamblee! He drinks IPAs! And the other he drinks Diet Pepsis, and that's okay! Nerd girls & Gator Boys & Canadian Bears, some good ol' podcastairs! All three take the time to go through Enchanted Arms's stairs! Boy, they love a FROM SOFTWARE game! Yeah, we got different tastes, live in different states, but we ain't that different when it comes to classic turn based RPGs! Also: * I'm Not Gonna Top On Top Of Any Table * He Hates A Prologue * Namcai Bando * The Summer Sickies * What About the Slut Tent * Ear Bangs * We Need Children To Be Sad And Bored This Week: Defeat the Emperor of Fire / Efreet in Enchanted Arms! Next Week: Defeat Oboro for the first time! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
/episode/index/show/squareroots/id/36916120
info_outline
Enhanted Arms Part 2: The Guy Who Is Always Stuck At Just Friends
06/02/2025
Enhanted Arms Part 2: The Guy Who Is Always Stuck At Just Friends
Enhanted Arms Part 2: The Guy Who Is Always Stuck At Just Friends Square Roots - Episode 466 Quest Log: 04:00 Level Up: 01:45:25 Welcome to London! Sure, it kind of looks like an old Tooter village, but it's actually one of the only cities on this big island we call earth! But we need to take the short walk back to Yokohama, which makes sense in this game. We're playing Enchanted Arms! By FROM SOFTWARE! Everyone loves FROM! Also: * Totally A Steiner * She's Going to Join the Party, Matt * My Only Golem For Life * Moron Moron Moron Moron Moron Moron! * Arm Fall Off Kid * Lisa Rinna Hair * An Italian Seal! * Sephiroth Does Spend A Lot Of Time In A Library * Hit So Hard He Turned Straight This Week: Defeat Professor Kou in Enchanted Arms! Next Week: Defeat the Emperor of Fire / Efreet in Enchanted Arms! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
/episode/index/show/squareroots/id/36817010
info_outline
Enhanted Arms Part 1: Bang-Maid
05/26/2025
Enhanted Arms Part 1: Bang-Maid
Enhanted Arms Part 1: Bang-Maid Square Roots - Episode 464 Quest Log: 28:40 Level Up: 02:32:46 Dust off saxophone and charge up your magical arm, it's time for Enchanted Arms! Get it! Enchanted ARMS? Because his arm is enchanted! We discover all the little ways that Miyazaki put lil pieces of Dark and Demon's Souls into this FROM SOFTWARE turn-based JRPG! Also: DL Free Workaholics Non-Joke Whiteboard Take The Night Off, Grandpa It Was An Act Of Generosity And Love I want to give him a little pizza golem kiss This Week: Wake Up in Prison in Enchanted Arms! Next Week: Defeat Professor Kou in Enchanted Arms! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
/episode/index/show/squareroots/id/36712170
info_outline
Grim Fandango Part 2: Johnny Troublehands
05/19/2025
Grim Fandango Part 2: Johnny Troublehands
Grim Fandango Part 2: Johnny Troublehands Square Roots - Episode 464 Quest Log: 27:11 Level Up: 01:49:50 Who do you call when life gives you trouble? JOHNNY TROUBLEHANDS! And he's joined by Matthew Dangerfist! Jim Blazin! And Vanessa Deathteeth! And we finish the LucasArts adventure classic, Grim Fandango! Is Grim a sociopath? Is Glottis better off without him? Was Meche right in holding him at gun point? YES! Also: The Clicker Genre "And Yet I'm Not." Source: Vanessa A Towel Made of Fruit Roll-Up How To Knock Out A Skeleton This Is Nothing Like The Breakfast Club! Tofu Gwace! This Week: Finish Year III and Year IV in Grim Fandango! Next Week: Wake Up in Prison in Enchanted Arms! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
/episode/index/show/squareroots/id/36622495
info_outline
Grim Fandango Part 1: A Mnemonic Tube
05/12/2025
Grim Fandango Part 1: A Mnemonic Tube
Grim Fandango Part 1: A Mnemonic Tube Square Roots - Episode 463 Quest Log: 29:00 Level Up: 02:05:00 Welcome to the BONE ZONE! This week on the Bone Zone we're checking out LucasArts's pinnacle of adventure gaming, Grim Fandango. In it you start as a reaper, which Matthew informs us is named Grim Fandango. Join these Hep Cats as we get people murdered, trick penguins, and abuse the trust of your man-child elemental buddy. Also: A Little Tiny Computer! Nice Meche! Matt's Wild and Wacky Florida Tour! It Was Rutger Hauer! MANNY, YOU PROMISED! This Week: Finish Year I and Year II in Grim Fandango! Next Week: Finish Year III and Year IV in Grim Fandango! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
/episode/index/show/squareroots/id/36530965
info_outline
Grandia II Part 6: The Birthplace of the Gods Was A Research Facility
05/05/2025
Grandia II Part 6: The Birthplace of the Gods Was A Research Facility
Grandia II Part 6: The Birthplace of the Gods Was A Research Facility Square Roots - Episode 462 Quest Log: 28:40 Level Up: 01:48:15 GOTCHA! The Birthplace of the Gods was a research facility, which definitely means that Granas and Valmar were scientists who got turned into gods, and weren't aliens. With the Birthplace of the Gods being a research facility my logic is flawless and Matthew, who still needs to mail me ten dollars, is left speechless as we finish GameArts's classic JRPG! Also: We All Have An Oblivion We'd Rather Be Playing Chris Plante Sent To A Nice Click Farm Upstate A Lot Of Tiddy Talk It. Popped. Out. Tomax and Xamot Fan Fiction Vanessa's Private Network In The Krang Bin This Week: Finish Grandia II! Next Week: Finish Year I and Year II in Grim Fandango! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
/episode/index/show/squareroots/id/36434795
info_outline
Grandia II Part 5: Mareg's Bara Tiddies!
04/28/2025
Grandia II Part 5: Mareg's Bara Tiddies!
Grandia II Part 5: Mareg's Bara Tiddies! Square Roots - Episode 461 Level Up Starts at 01:53:00 Johnny gets to see Mareg's big manly chest in a pre-rendered cutscene, and he does NOT shut up about it throughout this episode. Sure, the Dreamcast game's pre-rendered cutscenes have the look of 1996's Tekken 2, and the scene is bizarrely animated, but Johnny hasn't been on a date in a while so give him a break. Oh yeah, this week in GameArts's Grandia II we also discover a sword that may have a second purpose! AND GO TO THE MOON! Also: Proud Boy King! Vanessa Will Never See That Ten Dollars! Elena Likes Drinking Juice And Singing Gospel Songs About Granas! The Squeak-baa Pasture Is Empty! Classic Disc Three Crazy! Uterus! OR Womb! Who knows! Matt's Manly Football Injury! This Week: Return to Cyrum! Next Week: Finish Grandia II! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
/episode/index/show/squareroots/id/36335530
info_outline
Grandia II Part 4: Droppin' Hot Yomis
04/21/2025
Grandia II Part 4: Droppin' Hot Yomis
Grandia II Part 4: Droppin' Hot Yomis Square Roots - Episode 460 Level Up Starts at 01:51:00 It's Straight Night this week on Square Roots! That's right, the gay is gone, so it's just Matthew, Jim, and Vanessa. Finally they can get to the straight truth: they love being in traffic. Also they played some more Grandia II, this time in a beefy chunker that takes them from a princely mystery to shrimp island and finally the protagonist Ryudo's home town! Also: Matt Gets Weirdly Aggro About His Vote Weak Nuts Johnny, Vanessa's Little Helmet Hype Man Milennia is the Personification of Elena's Diabetes Vanessa's Vindication Song Returns This Week: Defeat the Horn of Valmar! Next Week: Return to Cyrum! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
/episode/index/show/squareroots/id/36242320
info_outline
Grandia II Part 3: Bursting Through the Doors of the St Heim Inn
04/14/2025
Grandia II Part 3: Bursting Through the Doors of the St Heim Inn
Grandia II Part 3: Bursting Through the Doors of the St Heim Inn Square Roots - Episode 459 Level Up Starts at 02:08:00 This time on Square Roots Jim's off on an adventure, so it's just Vanessa, Johnny and Matthew trying to sort out what they got wrong about Switch II news this week. But things get weird in this chunk of Game Arts's Grandia II, where we put down a little girl who has been giving a magical third eye, meet a religious fundamentalist who Johnny suspects is gonna be a villain, and finally get to cuddle up to Young Pope Daddy Bear. Also: Jim loves to eat a raw chicken. A legally distinct cover of Madonna's "Sorry" Sondra & Lezzlie What if Daredevil Grow A Weird Little Eye The Lowest Bar to Clear Ryudo Finally Has a Good Take This Week: Play until we leave the St. Heim Papal State! Next Week: Defeat the Horn of Valmar! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
/episode/index/show/squareroots/id/36125750
info_outline
Grandia II Part 2: The Gen-X Cheech and Chong
04/07/2025
Grandia II Part 2: The Gen-X Cheech and Chong
Grandia II Part 2: The Gen-X Cheech and Chong Square Roots - Episode 458 Level Up Starts at 01:55:00 Johnny asks a question that may make you spit out your drink, be warned. Do not drink any liquids while listening to this episode. But anyway! Grandia II! Game Arts's zany adventure gets into gear: you've got the evil brother, a dark secret buried under a town, and 1910s style racism! Plus we talk about the Switch 2 reveal for a long time. Also: Mouse Control Nintendo Spy Cam First Nintendo Game With Finger Stuff Go Back To Lollipop Lane! He's Ryude To People Visible Personality Line Would You Hug A Tween Like That? This Week: Defeat the evil tongue of Valmar boss! Next Week: Play until we leave the St. Heim Papal State Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
/episode/index/show/squareroots/id/36034015
info_outline
Grandia II Part 1: Max Load
03/31/2025
Grandia II Part 1: Max Load
Grandia II Part 1: Max Load Square Roots - Episode 457 Level Up Starts at 01:58:30 Are you ready to dive back into the exciting world of Game Arts's Grandia on this exciting new chapter of Square Roots? We ask all the important questions, like what is a geohound? A guy looking for rocks? A risk breaker? A dog looking for rocks? We can't be sure, but we do know one thing: Ryudo is a big ol' asshole. Hopefully this is setting him up for a Zidane style JRPG character arc. Also: A Little Baby Bird Sega CDX > Dishwasher Slide a Dollar Under Matt's Door Magic Comes From Eggs A Common Pope Name This Week: Get to the city of Agear in Grandia II! Next Week: Defeat the evil tongue of Valmar boss! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
/episode/index/show/squareroots/id/35933375
info_outline
Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood Part 5: Stevie Nicks, You're Going To Jail
03/24/2025
Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood Part 5: Stevie Nicks, You're Going To Jail
Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood Part 5: Stevie Knicks, You're Going To Jail Square Roots - Episode 456 Level Up Starts at 01:57:45 We speed towards the finale of Sonical Chronicles by BioWare, fast like a hedgehog through a loop-de-loop. Does Sonic nail the landing? Or is he all out of rings? Vanessa, Johnny and Matthew debate the pros and cons and finally decide: are they Squarely Against or Roundly For this speedy rodent adventure? Also: I Can Be Any Kind of Hulk I Wanna Be, It's 2017 Not Agreeing Bad Boyness I'm D-d-d-danny They're All Children, Johnny Each Party Needs A Hedgehog This Week: Finish Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood! Next Week: Get to the city of Agear in Grandia II! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
/episode/index/show/squareroots/id/35834645
info_outline
Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood Part 4: Bon Vi Von
03/17/2025
Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood Part 4: Bon Vi Von
Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood Part 4: Bon Vi Von Square Roots - Episode 455 Level Up Starts at 01:38:00 Finally the whole squad is back for an episode where we are definitely very good at staying on topic as we get to the strange sci-fi worlds of Chapter 7 and 8 of Sonical Chronicles! There's rock men, goo men, and even robomen! But not Eggman, he stayed home. Also: An Exhaustive Explanation of Julius Pringles Hot Rahul Kohli News Vanessa's Tight Five on Hit Single Your Love Pan's Just For Women Michaelogical This Week: Finish Chapters 7 & 8! Next Week: Finish Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022
/episode/index/show/squareroots/id/35721415
info_outline
Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood Part 3: The Return of Boys Night
03/10/2025
Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood Part 3: The Return of Boys Night
Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood Part 3: The Return of Boys Night Square Roots - Episode 454 Level Up Starts at 01:15:30 With Vanessa out at a show or something, it's another BOYS NIGHT! So gather round, crack open a beer, and name your favourite monster trucks with us as we play through two more chapters of Sonical Chronicles! There's meatbag hating robots! Annoying drones! Super cool ninja echidnas! Also: Never Forget What Sonic Did To Metropolis Zone The Grandia Problem Strikes Back Matthew Hates A Split Party Shedding Chao Eggs Very Silly Robots This Week: Finish Chapters 5 & 6! Next Week: Finish Chapters 7 & 8! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
/episode/index/show/squareroots/id/35604455
info_outline
Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood Part 2: A Chat About Eggs, Man
03/03/2025
Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood Part 2: A Chat About Eggs, Man
Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood Part 2: A Chat About Eggs, Man Square Roots - Episode 453 Level Up Starts at 01:39:00 Jim's out on a date, so we're gonna be a little insane on this episode Square Roots. Vanessa's on probation, Johnny's gone waffles crazy, and Matt does nothing but read books now. But we're playing what Vanessa calls a Gateway JRPG, Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood by BioWare. Vanessa is kind of Pokécurious, and the Chaos are somehow making it worse. And now we've got all sorts of new Sonic Friends to join our party, like Big, Knuckles, Cream and Bobby De Niro! Also: One Date Per Year With A Host Of Your Choice The Most Canadian Thing Johnny's Ever Said Eggman's Treasure Trail Marvel Didn't Create Let's Get Some Magic Stones All Hedgehogs Are Related Is This A Snow Zone? This Week: Finish Chapters 3 & 4! Next Week: Finish Chapters 5 & 6! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
/episode/index/show/squareroots/id/35508970
info_outline
Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood Part 1: Charmy the Bee is Still an Ongoing Concern.
02/24/2025
Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood Part 1: Charmy the Bee is Still an Ongoing Concern.
Square Roots - Episode 452 Level Up Starts at 02:09:00 SEGA and BioWare form the ultimate dream team for our new season of Square Roots! That's right, we're tackling the Sonic RPG Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood and finally we get stylus based controls and dialogue trees in our sonic games! Plus this game has all sorts of deep cuts: there's Vector from Knuckles Chaotix on the 32X! Big the Cat! Cream! Rouge the Bat! Who will be next? Fang the Sniper? Espio the Chameleon? The sky's the limit! Also: Maybe if GameStop focused less on woke and more on wake, Alan Wake that is. She seems like a SNES girlie. I don't like a tude dude! Vanessa's good nice water cooler chat! 8 year olds can fly planes, but not very well. This Week: Finish Chapters 1 & 2 of Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood! Next Week: Finish Chapters 3 & 4! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
/episode/index/show/squareroots/id/35404650
info_outline
Thief: The Dark Project Part 5 - The Ratman Mystery
02/17/2025
Thief: The Dark Project Part 5 - The Ratman Mystery
Square Roots - Episode 451 Level Up Starts at 01:27:30 We finally meet Matt's favourite friends, Thief: The Dark Project's Rat Men. Or... are they dinosaurs? This might seem like an easy question, but the more images we get of the supposed rat men, the more questions we have. Like: why do they have a forked tail? Are they monkeys? Why do they sound like Gollum? Also: Thief: The Woodsy Conspiracy The Fluffy Wuffy Sonic Boys The Coaster of the Goblin Soft Like A Woman The Terrible Results Of Our Vote This Week: Finish the game! Next Week: Finish Chapters 1 & 2 of Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
/episode/index/show/squareroots/id/35310725
info_outline
Thief: The Dark Project Part 4 - A Very Whispery Mission
02/10/2025
Thief: The Dark Project Part 4 - A Very Whispery Mission
Thief: The Dark Project Part 4 - A Very Whispery Mission Square Roots - Episode 450 Level Up Starts at 01:20:30 This time even the DLC level is pretty great in this penultimate chunker of Thief! It's an eye-poppingly good time as we infiltrate the Hammerites, do chores for a ghost, and go for a surprise night at the opera. Also: - The Gene Shallot of Video Game Hosts - Further Adventures In Jim's Spider Revulsion - Inside Your Mind - Operatic Exposition - It's Not the Lost City, It's *A* Lost City - Bonk All The Boys This Week: Finish missions ten through twelve! Next Week: Finish the game! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
/episode/index/show/squareroots/id/35218735
info_outline
Thief: The Dark Project Part 3 - This City Ain't Lost Any More, Is It
02/03/2025
Thief: The Dark Project Part 3 - This City Ain't Lost Any More, Is It
Square Roots - Episode 449 Level Up Starts at 01:19:45 This time in the sneaky Looking Glass classic game Thief, Johnny, Jim and Matthew tackle some levels! Can you guess which ones are DLC and which were in the original release? Probably? There's a chunk of the city that was lost to a cataclysm, some colour coded mages towers, and a chunk of the city also lost to a cataclysm! Also: - Feet Pix Are Classy, Scat Pix Are Nasty - The Puzzle Is Water - A Matt Situation - Earth Towers Are Easy - Good Smooth Brain Puzzles Are Easy - The Lava Lever - It Puts A Little Fire Baby In Your Tummy - The Rope is the First Real Boss of the Game This Week: Finish missions seven through nine in Thief! Next Week: Finish missions ten through twelve! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
/episode/index/show/squareroots/id/35125150
info_outline
Thief: The Dark Project Part 2 - A Little Moss Volcano
01/27/2025
Thief: The Dark Project Part 2 - A Little Moss Volcano
Square Roots - Episode 448 Level Up Starts at 01:24:20 We're all thieves, and sometimes thieves take their time and don't play to where they say they're going to. So we blasted through missions 4 through 6, which takes us through a fancy mansion, two fancy mansions connected by a sewer, and then a fancy but spooky mansion! Fortunately we make a new friend dripping with moss and friendly good intentions! What could PAWSIBLY go wrong?! Also: - Throw Mommy a Bone! - Vanessa Won't Laugh in Her Special Way - No More Bresdan Balls - Tea With Chewsdays Podcast, Innit - Microsoft Edging This Week: Finish missions four through six in Thief! Next Week: Finish missions seven through ten, unless that's too long and then nine. Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
/episode/index/show/squareroots/id/35024655
info_outline
Thief: The Dark Project Part 1 - Jim's Hole Sale Prices
01/20/2025
Thief: The Dark Project Part 1 - Jim's Hole Sale Prices
Square Roots - Episode 447 Level Up Starts at 01:44:15 Now that Sea of Stars is over we can promise one thing: no more Garl puns. Now we're on to Thief: The Dark Project by Looking Glass Studios. Enjoy the intense 90s cutscenes! Revell in the developers voicing many side characters! Quiet down your steps with moss arrows! Explode some zombies with holy water! We all approach this early first person sneaker in different ways, so play along and get stealin'! Also: - Feed! That! Algorithm! - TOO GROSS! - A Dictate Guy! - Animal Crossing Means Not Okay! - The Raddest Music You've Ever Heard! - Googaws and Boobaws! This Week: Finish the first three missions of Thief! Get it for cheap on GOG today! Next Week: Finish missions four through seven! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
/episode/index/show/squareroots/id/34919790
info_outline
Sea of Stars - Part 6: James Acaster Plays Leisure Suit Larry
01/13/2025
Sea of Stars - Part 6: James Acaster Plays Leisure Suit Larry
Square Roots - Episode 446 Level Up Starts at 02:03:30! It's a wrap on Sea of Stars this chunker, and someone didn't finish! And it's not who you think! We go through the two endings, talk to some fish, meet a tiger man, and go through a gross castle full of goop and body parts. YEAH! Also: - Garl Interrupted - Garl's Just Want To Have Fun - Who's That Garl? - Garls On Film! - Never Met A Garl Like You Before - Garl, You'll Be A Warrior Cook Soon - Brown-Eyed Garl - California Garls This Week: Finish Sea of Stars! Next Week: Finish the first three missions of Thief! Get it for cheap on GOG today! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
/episode/index/show/squareroots/id/34832345
info_outline
Sea of Stars Part 5: Are You Gonna Be My Garl?
01/06/2025
Sea of Stars Part 5: Are You Gonna Be My Garl?
We are sure that the technical issue that caused the original second half of this episode to be lost won’t be noticed and the transition to the new recording will be seamless. Garl finds himself being the true hero of this game as he now has a near-death vision explaining what he needs to do before he dies. Level Up: 01:48:15 Also: * Squish Squish Squish * A Lot of Feet Talk * I Might Be The Threshold * Gary Busey in “Make Friends With The Devil” * Jim’s second most hated song, Zephyr * Chrono Trigger! Final Fantasy! Hee hee! This Week: Travel through the Sea of Stars! Next Week: Finish Sea of Stars! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcastThanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots!Twitter: @squarerootspodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
/episode/index/show/squareroots/id/34737115
info_outline
Sea of Stars - Part 4: A Sith Puzzle For Babies
12/30/2024
Sea of Stars - Part 4: A Sith Puzzle For Babies
Square Roots - Episode 444 Level Up Starts at 01:36:00! Finally, we return to the Sea of Stars and a lot of stuff happens in this chunker! There's gorilla kids! Elderly enslaved kids! You sail into a mouth! And you get a secret weapon that morphs solstice magic into a [REDACTED] attack! Also: - An Edgier Pac-Man - Don't You Dare Make Fun of Capitalism! - Matt Loves A Good Pear - Mattholics! - "It's Too Late For This One!" - Garl Is The Wheels of Sea of Stars - Vanessa's Personal Mouse War This Week: Play to the end of the Clockwork Castle! Next Week: Travel through the Sea of Stars! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
/episode/index/show/squareroots/id/34664070
info_outline
Square Roots Christmas Gift Guide 2024
12/23/2024
Square Roots Christmas Gift Guide 2024
We decided to drop a special Christmas themed bonus episode for you this week! It's the Square Roots Christmas Gift Guide 2024!!! Join us as we discuss what presents we got for all your favorite RPG characters. We'll be back next week with our regularly scheduled Sea of Stars episode.
/episode/index/show/squareroots/id/34584395
info_outline
Sea of Stars - Part 3: Bisects!
12/16/2024
Sea of Stars - Part 3: Bisects!
Square Roots - Episode 443 Level Up Starts at 02:00:30! It's a Marvel's Captain America: Civil War on this podcast, as Matthew's Dreamatorium Podcast Within A Podcast is squaring off against Johnny's Dreamcast, a podcast within a podcast. But also we played more Sea of Stars! And we got to the big End of Act 1 twist! Gasp! Things change! Allegiences are challenged! A town with a terrible name has been created. Also: - Blue and Jinkos! - Real Magus fight vibes! - Obligatory Joey from Blossom reference! - Wesowection! - Vanessa's Lazy Findom Kink Returns! - Ah! The Chrono Cross Problem! - You Can't Eat A Bag! This Week: Play to the end of the Tower of Ansudlo! Next Week: Play to the end of the Clockwork Castle! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
/episode/index/show/squareroots/id/34466795
info_outline
Sea of Stars - Part 2: A Neck Romancer
12/09/2024
Sea of Stars - Part 2: A Neck Romancer
Square Roots - Episode 442 Level Up Starts at 02:23:18 The adventure truly begins as Johnny joins forces with Matt, Jim and Vanessa to tackle the pressing question about Sea of Stars: What the hell is this Wheels game anyway? Also we meet some fourth wall breaking pirates and fight two separate necromancers. Also: - Garl is the Jimminy Cricket - Johnny Hates The Algorithm - Smeared With Working Designs - Jim Only Knows American Who's Line - A Fun Lil Zomboi - Stonheim Sam This Week: Playing through the Necromancer boss fight! Next Week: Play to the end of the Tower of Ansudlo! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
/episode/index/show/squareroots/id/34343940
info_outline
Sea of Stars - Part 1: But Have You Seen A Whole Boob?
12/02/2024
Sea of Stars - Part 1: But Have You Seen A Whole Boob?
Square Roots - Episode 441 Level Up Starts At 01:50:15 On this celestial episode of Square Roots, Jim guides Vanessa and Matt through the opening of 2023's beloved throwback style RPG, Sea of Stars. That's right: Vanessa plays a pixel game like some kind of baby, and it doesn't make her feel better when the game just keeps on the baby-themes for the first half hour or so. But will these special babies birthed by a moon stork save the day, or will they need Garl and his big Ramus energy? Also: - Matthew Rants About DLC Being Nominated For Game Of The Year - The Fat Character Always Has To Be The Cook - Vanessa Eats The World - Jim Loves A Montage Song - It's Just Lavos This Week: Meet the Elder Mist! Next Week: Playing through the Necromancer boss fight! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
/episode/index/show/squareroots/id/34232915
info_outline
Would You Eat This Bird? The 2024 Edition
11/25/2024
Would You Eat This Bird? The 2024 Edition
Square Roots - American Thanksgiving Bonus On this Square Roots, we're going to learn how to say no to drugs when a 8 year old tries to give you free weed. Or how you'll deflate like a balloon on your couch. Wait, no, that's not what we do on this episode. On this episode we look at sixteen birds - 15 of which are from Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth so be aware of mild FF7 Rebirth spoilers. This Week: Enjoy a lovely game of Would You Eat This Bird?! Next Week: Meet the Elder Mist! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
/episode/index/show/squareroots/id/34134166