The Adult Chair

In The Adult Chair, Michelle Chalfant applies her holistic approach to healing and transformation as a foundation for better understanding our relationship with ourselves and our relationship with stress, anxiety, depression, physical health, self-love, peace, emotional balance, and how our understanding of ourselves impacts the most important relationships in our lives.

403: How To Listen to Your Soul 01/25/2024

403: How To Listen to Your Soul Lately, there’s been something stirring in my soul. I don’t know exactly what it is yet, but I feel like it’s going to be BIG – like something new is coming, and I need to go inward and listen for what it is. Have you ever felt this way? When this happens, I believe it’s our soul tugging at us, trying to tell us something about our mission and purpose on the planet. And I have made it my intention to always listen when the soul calls. It’s something I like to call “soul alignment” — a practice of going within and listening to the soul to get clarity on who we are and our illuminated path. In this episode, I’m teaching you how to tune into the voice of your soul (the part of you that is seated squarely in the Adult Chair), why this is so important and how to clear the blocks that stand between us and our souls. The five simple practices I share in today’s podcast will help you hear your soul’s whispers and nudges, know and feel the next steps on your path and take aligned action — not from the Adolescent Chair but from the Adult Chair. Listen to discover: The power of “soul alignment” The importance of “deep listening” How the ego gets in the way of listening 5 steps to listen to your soul How to unlock greater passion, purpose and peace The ego is rooted in fear, lives in the past and future and often screams at us in a loud voice. The soul lives in the present moment and speaks to us in a whisper, which is why we have to get still to hear it. This episode will help you get out of your mind and into your heart, go inward and listen deeply to find your true purpose and guidance from within. “When we align with our soul, we are guided.” - Michelle Chalfant "When you're aligned with your soul, even the things that feel – to the ego – bad, what we find is that these things are the most beautiful gifts that we could have ever received." - Michelle Chalfant “What your soul has in store for you is unlike anyone else on the entire planet.” - Michelle Chalfant “Meditation is simply a practice that brings you into the present moment.” - Michelle Chalfant “You’re going to feel nudges or feel pulled or moved to do things. That’s your soul. Pay attention.” - Michelle Chalfant “Your soul’s not going to talk to you from your head. Your soul’s going to talk to you through your heart.” - Michelle Chalfant “Ego lives in past and future only. Soul lives in present moment only.” - Michelle Chalfant MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website Instagram Facebook The Adult Chair® Facebook Group YouTube /episode/index/show/theadultchair/id/29610008

402: Healing Through Grounding with Clint Ober 01/18/2024

402: Healing Through Grounding with Clint Ober What if the secret to better sleep, less inflammation and reduced pain was as simple as walking barefoot in the grass? Both the earth and our bodies have an electrical charge, and “grounding” (or “earthing”) refers to the practice of connecting our bodies to the earth – keeping the body’s charge at an optimal balance and unlocking tremendous health benefits. If you think this sounds like something made up by a crunchy tree hugger, think again: the father of grounding, Clint Ober, is actually a cable guy. Clint had a strong connection with nature from growing up on a ranch out West and great knowledge about how electrical currents work from his career in the cable industry. One day, he saw a group of tourists all wearing thick rubber-soled shoes (a non-conductive material), and it hit him: Could our modern lifestyle be keeping us from grounding into the earth? This has led to a new frontier of health research, with very promising findings about the impact of grounding on inflammation, stress, autoimmune disease and more. It’s the real deal! I had the chance to talk to the man himself, Clint Ober, about how grounding works in the body, why our society is so ungrounded, the many, many health benefits of grounding and how anyone can start grounding – for FREE and today. Listen to discover: What earthing and grounding is Why our bodies need to be connected to the earth's electrical charge How grounding works in our immune system The positive effect grounding can have on pain and chronic disease How you can start grounding today Grounding is so simple – it literally just requires going outside with bare feet (or conductive shoes). And unlike so many health hacks or miracle cures on the market, this isn’t something to be added to your health…instead, it’s a return. A return to nature, our design and the natural harmony that occurs when we’re connected to our bodies and the earth. "The earth is basically electrical." - Clint Ober "We can heal these illnesses we're walking around with by grounding." - Michelle Chalfant "We've totally insulated ourselves from the earth when we're wearing shoes." - Clint Ober "You can't have inflammation in a grounded object." - Clint Ober "As soon as you get grounded, then you have the earth's energy all around your body, and it pushes away all of this environmental stuff." - Clint Ober "If you want to take 10 years off your [age], just go outdoors and stick your bare feet on the grass." - Clint Ober "The body is always striving to heal itself. Always. We are in the way." - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES Clint Ober Earthing and Grounding Products Earthing Studies Earthing Movie MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website Instagram Facebook The Adult Chair® Facebook Group YouTube /episode/index/show/theadultchair/id/29506593

401: Practical Intuition with Laura Day 01/11/2024

401: Practical Intuition with Laura Day Have you ever gotten a “gut feeling” that something was going to happen…and then it did? Or sensed that someone wasn’t trustworthy or that you shouldn’t move forward with a decision? This is your intuition at work! Intuition is something we all possess, and something we’ve all undeniably experienced, but how it works remains largely a mystery. Is it something spiritual? Psychological? Biological? Laura Day grew up feeling like her brain was “different” in some way. She knew she had ADD and a number of head injuries, but she didn’t know she had an uncanny intuition until one day, she saw a television program about ESP research. She immediately related to it, picked up the phone, called the researchers and said, “I can do that.” For years, she participated in research studies about intuition and how it works. Since then, Laura has built a high-profile career using her intuition for large companies and organizations and teaching others how to develop and tap into their innate intuition. A math, science and data nerd, Laura had no preconceived notions about intuition, which has given her a practical, grounded approach to learning and teaching about this ability. In this episode, Laura shares her insights into what intuition actually is, how to tell the difference between intuition and fear, how to enhance your intuition and why intuition alone isn’t enough – we must direct it towards action. If you’ve ever been curious about how those gut feelings and seemingly “sixth senses” work, you’re going to love this episode! Listen to discover: Whether or not we’re all born intuitive How to tell the difference between intuition and fear Why we all need to learn how to use our intuition How to enhance and direct your intuition The power of moving from intuition to action Laura believes intuition is less a sixth sense and more an extension of the five senses we already have. But like a muscle, we have to exercise it and develop it. When we learn to connect more deeply with ourselves and pay attention to what’s going on around us using all five senses, it’s amazing what we can uncover – and how that can help us direct our lives and relationships towards greater wisdom and wellbeing. “We are all born intuitive.” - Laura Day "If it's a persistent fear, it's not intuition. Intuition is accurate, immediate and actionable." - Laura Day "It's a misnomer that intuition is a sixth sense. It's not. It's an extension of all of your senses in time and in space." - Laura Day “So many people stay stuck, and they don’t realize that they are powerful creators and that they can get their way out of it.” - Michelle Chalfant "The first thing you do to open your intuition or direct it effectively is you have goals." - Laura Day "Intuition will show it to you, but it won't fix it for you." - Laura Day LINKS & RESOURCES Laura Day Website Laura Day Instagram MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website Instagram Facebook The Adult Chair® Facebook Group YouTube /episode/index/show/theadultchair/id/29403358

400: The Art of Manifestation: How To Manifest Your Dream Life 01/04/2024

400: The Art of Manifestation: How To Manifest Your Dream Life 2023 is behind us, and 2024 is here! The new year represents a clean slate and new chapter where you can begin manifesting the year – the life – you want. I believe that, as creative beings, we are always in “creation mode.” Like gravity, we can’t turn the laws of manifestation on and off – they just are. So, then the question becomes: What do you really want? And what is it that you are creating with every thought you have and word you speak? In this episode, I’m giving you everything you need to get more intentional with your creations this year, whether you have a dream you’re finally ready to manifest or there’s something you want to change in your current reality, beginning with the words you’re telling yourself. We’re covering four keys for POWERFUL manifestation, how to tune your “energetic dial” into the “radio frequency” of your deepest desires and a 10-step process to help you clear the unconscious beliefs that are blocking your creations…this is the missing piece to manifestation that no one talks about but makes ALL the difference! Listen to discover: How manifestation works Getting clear on what it is you truly want Why things aren’t manifesting in your life The missing piece of manifestation that no one talks about A 10-step process to clear blocks and barriers to manifesting Four powerful keys to manifestation You’re going to want to get pen and paper out for this one, because I’m giving you all the details, all the nuances and all the secrets to manifestation that I’ve learned over the years – with real-life examples to help you begin applying these principles today. Whatever it is you want in 2024 (and even if you’re still figuring that out), this episode is step 1 to finding freedom from limiting beliefs, clearing unconscious blocks and changing the trajectory of your life this year. “We are beings that are able to create. And we create our reality with every thought we have.” - Michelle Chalfant "Once you clear your unconscious blocks, then you can attract in your creation." - Michelle Chalfant "We have to have what I call a 'consistent manifesting mindset.'" - Michelle Chalfant "Everything is possible – everything and anything. You just have to line up with it." - Michelle Chalfant "The more you focus and expect and live as if this creation is coming in and already here, the faster it will come to you." - Michelle Chalfant "I promise you can get and create the life that you want. Your thoughts and your spoken words are powerful. So, be really mindful of what you're saying." - Michelle Chalfant "We're always in creation mode. It does not turn itself on and off, just like gravity. So, if you don't like your reality, you do have the power to change it with your thoughts." - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES 2024 The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Doors Close January 5! MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: Facebook: The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: YouTube: /episode/index/show/theadultchair/id/29272158

399: Holiday Replay: The Magic of Surrender with Kute Blackson 12/28/2023

399: Holiday Replay: The Magic of Surrender with Kute Blackson Kute Blackson is no stranger to miracles. Growing up the son of a spiritual leader in Ghana, Africa, Kute witnessed healings and transformation that were nothing short of awe-inspiring. But when he realized it wasn’t his calling to take over his father’s ministry in the way his family expected, it led him on a challenging and transformational journey of his own: one in which he discovered the magic of surrender and how it can heal our lives. In this episode, Kute delivers so much wisdom about what surrender really is (it’s not passive like you might think), the role of the ego in our lives, why the challenges we face are an essential part of our soul’s journey and how to let go and live open to the possibilities – the miracles – life holds for us. Listen to discover: Kute’s story of courageously following his calling even in the face of adversity Why challenging experiences are essential to our soul’s growth What surrender actually is and why it’s so powerful How to tell when we’re in the flow What to do when you feel stuck and are struggling to surrender Where resistance comes from Why surrender requires grieving what we think we know and how it opens us up to more love and joy Each of us is here with a purpose, and even the difficult moments in our lives hold something important for our growth. When we can relinquish control and what we think our lives should look like, we discover that there are divine possibilities beyond what our mind can even think of or dream up…and what a truly exciting, miraculous journey that is! “Those challenges [don’t] mean you’re on the wrong path. It sometimes means you’re on the right path; you just have to go through, on a human level, the soul test.” - Kute Blackson “Forgiveness frees you.” - Michelle Chalfant “It doesn’t mean that when something difficult is in your path, it’s not God-inspired, soul-inspired.” - Michelle Chalfant “Life is a university for our soul’s evolution…We’re always succeeding when we’re learning the lessons, even if it’s difficult.” - Kute Blackson “In our culture, we have this misconception that surrender is weak.” - Kute Blackson “In true surrender and letting go, what if you actually got more than you could have intended and planned with the limited concept of your own mind?” - Kute Blackson “Surrender is when we stop trying to force life to fit into our limited idea of what we think it should look like.” - Kute Blackson “Many of our goals are often projections of unmet needs from our childhood.” - Kute Blackson “The mind is constantly seeking to understand why…which is another form of control.” - Kute Blackson “It’s the journey that brings us the happiness.” - Michelle Chalfant “Many times people think that they’re feeling the feeling, but they’re actually thinking about the feeling.” - Kute Blackson “To truly surrender requires the willingness to move through the portal of grieving.” - Kute Blackson LINKS & RESOURCES Kute Blackson Website Kute Blackson Instagram “The Magic of Surrender” (Kute Blackson Book) 2024 The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Doors Close January 5! MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: Facebook: The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: YouTube: /episode/index/show/theadultchair/id/29164268

398: Holiday Replay: How to Become Happier with Gretchen Rubin 12/21/2023

398: Holiday Replay: How to Become Happier with Gretchen Rubin Whether it’s eating healthier, getting exercise, starting a meditation practice or staying socially connected, figuring out what to do to be happy might be simple – but actually doing these things and living in a way that lets us experience happiness is much harder. When we know there are things we can do that will make us healthier and happier, why do we struggle to actually do them? Why do we get caught in a cycle of chasing happiness instead of choosing joy, even when we know better? This is what Gretchen Rubin wanted to understand when she began studying happiness and why people form the habits they do. It turns out that it has everything to do with how we relate to expectations. Gretchen discovered that there are four different “tendencies” that tell us how different people approach habits and expectations – whether we question expectations, comply with expectations, rebel against expectations or uphold them from within. We are born with our tendency and there’s no right or wrong way to be, but our ability to pursue happiness and form habits is directly connected to which tendency we’re wired with. In this episode, Gretchen describes each of the four tendencies in detail and ways to work with your type to go after the life you want. She also talks about habit formation and the different approaches to starting a new habit, so you can figure out which one works best for you! This is so fascinating and has major implications for how we structure our lives, how we work with each other in business and relationships and so much more! Listen to discover: Concrete steps we can take to start boosting our happiness The "four tendencies" personality framework The Upholder, The Obliger, The Questioner and The Rebel – four different ways we all respond to inner and outer expectations How your tendency impacts how you form habits How to overcome resistance and work with your tendency to be as successful and happy as possible Misconceptions about happiness and techniques to form better habits Though it's true that everyone is different in terms of what makes us happy, we're also all different in how we get to the things that make us happy. When we understand our wiring, we can overcome resistance and set ourselves up to achieve the life we want, in a way that is uniquely ours. "Our physical experience is always going to color our emotional experience." - Gretchen Rubin "The key to happiness is relationships." - Gretchen Rubin "Don't suit other people. Suit yourself." - Gretchen Rubin "I'm a big believer in the genetic roots of personality." - Gretchen Rubin "We can work with each other to help us all achieve our aims, but sometimes we have to provide a different way from what would work for us." - Gretchen Rubin "Your communication style would change once you know this." - Michelle Chalfant "Happier people are more interested in the problems of the world." - Gretchen Rubin "You have to take care of yourself. You have to put yourself first." - Michelle Chalfant "When you're not indulging in a temptation, it goes away." - Gretchen Rubin LINKS & RESOURCES Gretchen Rubin Website Happier Podcast (Gretchen Rubin podcast) Gretchen Rubin Books The Four Tendencies Quiz The Happier App Gretchen Rubin Facebook Gretchen Rubin Instagram Gretchen Rubin LinkedIn 2024 The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Doors Close January 5! MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification Tanasi Code ADULT to get 25% off your first order STAY CONNECTED Instagram: Facebook: The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: YouTube: /episode/index/show/theadultchair/id/29098203

397: How Brain Health Affects Mental Health with Dr. Bisleen Attli 12/14/2023

397: How Brain Health Affects Mental Health with Dr. Bisleen Attli For too many years, mental health came with a stigma. It was treated as something “wrong” in the mind, with the psychological and physical looked at entirely separately. It’s almost as if we forgot that the brain is part of the body – a physical organ that needs care just like our heart, our gut or any other part of our body. And when we support our brain health, it can have BIG impacts on our mental and emotional health. Dr. Bisleen Attli is a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy-certified naturopath, which is a fancy way of saying she bridges the world of psychology and physiology to promote mental health and brain health. She is a wealth of knowledge on how our physical health and our brains are connected, and she digs down to find the root causes of common mental health challenges like depression and anxiety. In this episode, Dr. Attli breaks down the science behind how food, sleep and even limiting beliefs affect our brain health, why mental health symptoms are often our bodies warning us about a physical imbalance and what you can do to feel better fast. Listen to discover: The #1 negative mindset that can affect brain health The common physiological roots of disease How blood sugar is related to brain health and the symptoms of blood sugar dysregulation Why the gut is considered “the second brain” How the liver, your hormones, inflammation and even your mitochondria can affect your mental health There are certainly times where we need more support, and medication might be the right treatment for depression, anxiety or other mental health symptoms. But when you see your brain as more than just your mind, but also part of your body – something that you listen to, care for and support – you will be able to make informed choices to support both your physical and mental health. Because you are more than a diagnosis. You are a whole, connected being – mind, body and spirit – and you have more power over how you feel than you might have ever realized. "A lot of people don't realize how they feel in their bodies has a direct impact on how they feel and think." - Dr. Bisleen Attli "Your body and your mental health can truly be changed with effort." - Michelle Chalfant "Something that I'm really big on emphasizing is addressing the root cause of brain health challenges...My big thing is, 'What the heck is happening in your body that is causing you to feel this way?'" - Dr. Bisleen Attli "When it comes to the mindset piece of things, the number one thing I work on helping women uncover are their limiting beliefs." - Dr. Bisleen Attli "I cannot tell you how many people have gone to therapists and then come to one of my coaches, and they're like, ‘I got more out of this one session than in my therapy for 10 years'" - Michelle Chalfant "Whether someone comes to me for anxiety, depression, whatever it is, not only is there stuff happening in the mind, but we also have to understand that there are dysfunctions happening in the body that are causing you to feel how you feel. It's not all in your head." - Dr. Bisleen Attli "If your blood sugar is all over the place, guess what's following? Your emotions." - Dr. Bisleen Attli "Eating in a certain way affects your mood. You will find that you are less anxious, you're less moody, less depressed, less sad when you monitor blood sugar." - Michelle Chalfant "Your gut impacts everything." - Dr. Bisleen Attli "Good health isn't magical. It's just doing the simple things consistently on a daily basis and making sure you are prioritizing them." - Dr. Bisleen Attli "It's not selfish to put yourself first. It's actually self-loving...You're going to be a better person if you're healthier – mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually – first. You can help so many more people. You can connect with more people." - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES Dr. Bisleen Attli Website Dr. Bisleen Attli Instagram Free 3-Day Adult Chair® Coach Fest 2024 The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Doors Now Open! Tanasi Code ADULT to get 25% off your first order Green Chef Use code 60Adult to get 60% off + 20% off next two months MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: Facebook: The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: YouTube: /episode/index/show/theadultchair/id/29019783

396: Healing Generational Limiting Beliefs with LaShonda Walker 12/07/2023

396: Healing Generational Limiting Beliefs with LaShonda Walker As you think about your life, do you ever wish your story was different? You wish you more of this, less of that, that an event had never happened, that you had done the thing you will always regret not doing. But what if the story you tell yourself about your life is just as important as the story of what happened to you? And what if you could change your entire life by consciously changing how you think about your past? LaShonda Walker is a Certified Adult Chair® Coach who has created an incredible healing process called “A New Life Story,” inspired by her training in The Adult Chair® model. Based on the idea that the challenges we face in our present reality are always connected to something from our past, LaShonda helps people identify the limiting beliefs they carry with them, edit the stories they tell themselves using fact and truth and, as a result, rewrite their entire future…and the futures of the people around them. Using this process, LaShonda has seen clients get unstuck and make HUGE life changes in just 20 minutes, and I can’t get over how powerful it is. In fact, I asked LaShonda to coach me using her process on air, and she dropped an insight about my life so mind-blowing that it left me speechless! In this episode, LaShonda breaks down her process step-by-step so you can try this powerful work and begin writing a new story for yourself and your family today. Listen to discover: TAC Coach LaShonda Walker's "A New Life Story" process Why your past determines your present How to replace old stories and limiting beliefs with fact and truth How to edit and rewrite your life story based on who you are today 5 "W" questions to ask yourself when rewriting your story Why doing your work transforms generations A huge takeaway from what LaShonda shared is that we aren’t just products of our pasts; we’re products of our entire family’s pasts. Sometimes the limiting beliefs and challenges we struggle with aren’t even ours…but they are ours to heal. When we step up and do this work, we can change the legacy of our family for generations to come. You are the author of your own story, no matter what has happened in your life. What new story do you want to write for yourself today? "I'm finding with my clients that when things are coming up in their present, it is connected to the past. And as we begin to look at that, we discover limiting beliefs that are there." - LaShonda Walker "We don't realize how much we bring from our past." - LaShonda Walker "As you're doing that work of healing the present – your emotions, your triggers, working with those Adolescent stories – as you heal, that healing then begins to transform your legacy." - LaShonda Walker "It's all limiting beliefs from childhood. They're just sitting in there, inside of us. That's why we get so triggered." - Michelle Chalfant "The work is worth it." - LaShonda Walker "You are absolutely asking the right questions and cracking them open for fast transformation and relief from their pain, their emotional disturbance, their limiting beliefs, all of these things." - Michelle Chalfant "When you are in your power, I truly believe you are in overflow. And when you are in overflow, you are able to then feed and provide and share and help build up others." - LaShonda Walker "We don't just heal as individuals. We heal in community." - LaShonda Walker LINKS & RESOURCES LaShonda Walker Website LaShonda Walker Instagram A New Life Story Podcast (LaShonda Walker Podcast) Free 3-Day Adult Chair® Coach Fest 2024 The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Doors Open December 11 Tanasi Use code ADULT to get 25% off your first order MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: Facebook: The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: YouTube: /episode/index/show/theadultchair/id/28944548

Managing Triggers at the Holidays 11/30/2023

Managing Triggers at the Holidays ‘Tis the season…for triggers! At the holidays, stress, drinking, spending money and spending time with others all increase. And with that, comes a decrease in patience, sleep, time for self and all the things that make us more resilient to stress. Add in the fact that we tend to be around people we aren’t normally around for longer periods of time, and it’s a landmine for triggers. But as you know, I love triggers because they are such a powerful opportunity to look at and work on our limiting beliefs. So, I invite you to view this year’s triggers as a holiday gift…a chance to not only learn about yourself but eradicate triggers for good. Don’t worry: I’m not sending you out there without a plan. I’m giving you 10 steps to work with a trigger so you can be prepared for whatever comes your way this holiday season. The first four steps will help you regulate your nervous system, calm down and come back into balance when triggered. These are a lifesaver if you’re at a gathering where you need to keep your cool until you can work on the trigger! Then the last six steps will teach you exactly how to work with your triggers so you can heal the limiting beliefs beneath them, get unstuck and get triggered a whole lot less in the future. Listen to discover: Why the holidays are a prime time for triggers What a trigger is and where they come from Why triggers are an amazing opportunity to work with limiting beliefs The difference between a trigger and a true emotion 10 steps to work with a trigger Sure, maybe triggers are like finding a pair of socks wrapped up under the tree – not what you wanted, but what you needed. They’re still a gift! I hope you discover so much about yourself this holiday season and transform those triggers so you can live with more peace all year long! “That is what a trigger is: it is a belief that I have about myself.” - Michelle Chalfant “Triggers are a way to help us to find and identify limiting beliefs that we have about ourselves.” - Michelle Chalfant "A trigger is something that we carry with us…When you can move on from something, it's not a trigger.” - Michelle Chalfant “More than likely, most of these beliefs – crazy enough – are from the age of zero to six. And Carl Jung says the average age is actually three, where these beliefs have been planted into the unconscious mind.” - Michelle Chalfant “Your breath is your savior because it will help you to stay present. It helps to keep you slow. It helps to rebalance the nervous system.” - Michelle Chalfant “The way out of our pain, the way out of our triggers is to go through.” - Michelle Chalfant “Energy does not stay constant, my friends. So, if you allow it to do whatever it needs to do, it will start to move through you.” - Michelle Chalfant “You will find [with] this tool [that] you're gonna be able to use it not just at the holidays but the rest of your life. It is empowering.” - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES Join The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification Waitlist - Doors Open December 1! Tanasi Use code ADULT to get 25% off your first order MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: Facebook: The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: YouTube: /episode/index/show/theadultchair/id/28757678

394: Holiday Special: Loneliness at the Holidays with Dr. Dain Heer 11/23/2023

394: Holiday Special: Loneliness at the Holidays with Dr. Dain Heer The holidays are a time where it feels like everything is a bit magnified: there is so much joy and brightness in the world but also space for sadness, loneliness and grief to be amplified. It’s a touchy time of year where whatever we’re feeling gets underscored by parties, gatherings and traditions. But the holidays don’t create these feelings. In fact, according to my guest on the podcast today, WE don’t even create most of these feelings. Rather, we pick them up from our parents and the world around us, and the key to overcoming loneliness and sadness is to understand where it all began. In this episode, I’m bringing back one of my favorite people, Dr. Dain Heer, to talk about loneliness, how to identify what is ours and what is not, how to clear what’s not ours, how to get out of victim and so many more important, empowering topics! Dr. Dain also shares tools and techniques you can use immediately to start clearing negative emotions – one of the reasons I love his work so much! Listen to discover: What loneliness is and where it comes from Why 98% of our thoughts and feeling aren’t actually ours – and where they come from How to get out of negative emotions What to do if you’re experiencing loneliness in life The true root of victimhood The “clearing statement” for fast transformation Dr. Dain’s work with Access Consciousness is all about realizing the power you have within you to change. When you’re able to get rid of what is not yours, it gives you the space and energy to work on what IS yours and create your life instead of falling victim to it. I hope the tools in this episode help you find your inner power, no matter what you’re feeling this holiday season – or any time of the year! “Your point of view creates your reality. Your reality doesn’t create your point of view.” - Dr. Dain Heer “It’s as simple as redirecting that energy out of your energy field.” - Michelle Chalfant “It starts to undo the foundation of limitation.” - Dr. Dain Heer “We don’t have to be limited by the world around us.” - Dr. Dain Heer “When we open the door for possibilities, it makes that available to everybody else on the planet.” - Dr. Dain Heer “People who do victim have learned it.” - Dr. Dain Heer “Victims are actually victimizing others and controlling them with their victimhood.” - Dr. Dain Heer “If we can just sit in someone else’s energy field that’s healthy, we become more like them.” - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES Dr. Dain Heer Website Dr. Dain Heer YouTube Dr. Dain Heer Facebook Dr. Dain Heer Instagram Who Does This Belong To App The Clearing Statement “Body Whispering” (Dr. Dain Heer Book) Join The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification Waitlist - Doors Open December 1! MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: Facebook: The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: YouTube: /episode/index/show/theadultchair/id/28670548

393: Self-Care To Regulate Your Nervous System with Theresa Steighner 11/16/2023

393: Self-Care To Regulate Your Nervous System with Theresa Steighner What image comes to mind when you think about self-care? A massage or bubble bath? A fancy dinner? Being all zenned out in lotus pose? Though these things can be wonderful, I also think they can give self-care a bad name by portraying it as something fun, frivolous and even a little selfish. In reality, true self-care – or what I like to call “therapeutic self-care” – is absolutely essential to our well-being and our ability to show up for those around us. Therapeutic self-care is about meeting your core needs as a human – mental, physical, emotional and spiritual. It’s an inside job first and foremost, and it doesn't have to be time-consuming or expensive to do WONDERS for your nervous system, stress levels and overall balance in life. As we go into the holidays where schedules are extra packed and stress is high, we need to become even more mindful of our self-care. To send you into this season with empowering self-care practices, I tapped Adult Chair® Master Coach and self-care guru, Theresa Steighner, to share her advice for self-care at the holidays (and year round!) with us. Theresa shares the four pillars of true self-care, plus five fast and free things you can do daily to keep your nervous system in balance…this is self-care like you’ve never heard it talked about before! Listen to discover: ● Why self-care is so important ● What "therapeutic self-care" is ● The four pillars of true self-care ● 5 quick ways to regulate your nervous system ● How to prioritize yourself and your self-care I promise you, if you do what Theresa recommends in this episode, you’ll feel less stress, less overwhelm, more presence and more peace this holiday season. Tidings of comfort and joy, indeed. "Our self-care is more than the bubble baths, the massages, the getting the pedicures. Self-care is really about taking care of our needs on that physical, mental, emotional and spiritual level." - Theresa Steighner "A big part of self-care is being able to set those boundaries, but we really have to know who we are first." - Theresa Steighner "When somebody compliments you, it's a reflection of you back to you." - Theresa Steighner "Awareness is key. We cannot change what we are not aware of." - Theresa Steighner "You can't grab what's happening in the moment and raise your self-awareness if you're constantly in the future or the past. Make sure you're slowing down." - Michelle Chalfant "Women have a really hard time putting ourselves first." - Michelle Chalfant "Nature regulates our nervous system." - Theresa Steighner "Yoga helps us to repattern those habitual response patterns and brings awareness so that we can show up in a healthier way, in that healthy adult." - Theresa Steighner "You've got to make sure you're asking for what you need. You're worth it." - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES Theresa Steighner Website Join The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification Waitlist - Doors Open December 1! Green Chef Use code ADULT250 to get $250 off Tanasi Use code ADULT to get 25% off your first order MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: Facebook: The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: YouTube: /episode/index/show/theadultchair/id/28632993

392: How To Get Unstuck and Change Your Life 11/09/2023

392: How To Get Unstuck and Change Your Life Have you ever felt stuck in life, like you dislike where you are but think you have no other options? This is one of my least favorite places to be (and I’ve been there many times). Being unhappy feels bad enough…but what truly feels terrible is thinking there’s no way out. And when we believe there’s no way out, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. That’s because it’s not our circumstances that keep us stuck, but our thoughts and beliefs. Stuck thoughts lead to stuck energy, which paralyzes us. To get unstuck, we have to interrupt this thought pattern and shift our energy so we can move forward! In this episode, I’m giving you six of my favorite ways to do that. These are the tools I turn to when I’m feeling stuck…and if you know me, you know I like things that I can start applying right away. So, if you’re ready to get unstuck and start seeing transformation TODAY, this is the show for you! Listen to discover: 6 practical tools to get unstuck The power of acceptance How to manifest your future reality today Why complaining keeps us stuck How to practice gratitude for true transformation Why journaling is such a powerful tool for moving energy The #1 way to change your life I’ve realized over the years that the way we change our lives is through the small choices we make every day. These small steps – things like gratitude, watching our thoughts, being honest with ourselves – done with consistency transform us over time. If you’re feeling stuck and discouraged, I’ve been there, and I get it. But I KNOW you can change your life, because I’ve changed mine using the tools in this episode…and if I can do it, you can too! Which of these tools will you choose today to start moving toward the life you want? “You’ve got to own what’s in your life.” - Michelle Chalfant “Acceptance starts to move our energy out of a stuck place.” - Michelle Chalfant “In order to really get unstuck and create change, you’ve got to get really, really clear about what you want instead.” - Michelle Chalfant “We can manifest anything – anything at all. But you’ve got to use your mind…to get out of the place that you are in.” - Michelle Chalfant “Your thoughts are very powerful, but the spoken word is even more powerful. When you speak about your limitations, you’re anchoring into your current reality your limitations.” - Michelle Chalfant “Think about how much energy you’re giving the thing that you don’t want anymore…We want to talk about what’s coming.” - Michelle Chalfant "Many studies have even shown that journaling can be similar or feel similar to going to a therapist or coach. Because what happens is, when we're journaling, we're purging." - Michelle Chalfant "Life, my friends, is a choice. What are you going to choose for yourself? Are you going to choose to go into that victim seat or are you going to choose to feel more empowered?" - Michelle Chalfant "The way we change our lives is to be intentional with all of our choices." - Michelle Chalfant "You're the only one that can transform your life. You just have to take time and choose to put yourself first and get unstuck and change your life. You can do this." - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES Share the Love - Review The Adult Chair® Podcast Join The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification Waitlist - Doors Open December 1! Tanasi Use code ADULT to get 25% off your first order MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: Facebook: The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: YouTube: /episode/index/show/theadultchair/id/28506602

391: 5 Ways To Live From Your True Self 11/02/2023

391: 5 Ways To Live From Your True Self We all have a “true self” – the essence of who we were before the world told us who to be. We’re born with this essence, but over time, we start reacting to the world around us and create a false self out of our wounds, our experiences and our attempts to get our needs met. The false self isn’t bad, but it isn’t who we really are – and a lot of the challenges we experience in life, like anxiety and depression, come from living out of alignment with our true self. Any sort of healing work must begin with cracking open the false self and discovering who we really are. This all might sound very philosophical, but the good news is that accessing our true selves is shockingly practical. By using simple tools that we all have access to, we can begin to reconnect with who we really are and live with the peace, balance, happiness and fulfillment that comes from showing up authentically in the world. In this episode, I’m giving you five simple ways to start living more from your true self. These are all tools that are totally free and available right now, wherever you are! Listen to discover: What we mean when we talk about the “true self” Why we develop a “false self” 5 ways to connect with and live from your true self How to feel your emotions Practical self-care ideas How journaling can help you tap into a deeper part of self This is a process, but make sure you’re taking time to notice even the little wins. As you experiment with these tools, really sit with that wonderful feeling of rediscovering a tiny piece of yourself. Start paying attention and validating yourself for who you really are. Over time, I think you're going to be really surprised (in a lovely way) when you begin to not only rediscover aspects of your true self, but also start claiming those aspects and living from that place more each day. “Some of us have a much thicker layer of the false self, and some of us have a thinner layer of the false self. The good news is [that] anyone can learn how to penetrate that false self and rediscover and live from their true self.” - Michelle Chalfant “Getting in touch with our emotions is such a magical thing.” - Michelle Chalfant “We have a lot more emotions than happy, sad, mad, ashamed and glad.” - Michelle Chalfant “When we put ourselves first and practice what we need as far as taking care of ourselves, it's really, really healthy.” - Michelle Chalfant “Self-care is tuning in and asking, ‘What do I need right now in order to make myself feel more comfortable, safe, relaxed and de-stressed?’” - Michelle Chalfant “Self-care activities will promote and help with self-love and self-worth.” - Michelle Chalfant “Breathwork takes you deeper into yourself. It can truly crack you open and help you to get in touch with some emotions that have been trapped or stuck.” - Michelle Chalfant “Journaling takes you on a journey to the depths of your soul.” - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES Join the 30-Day Journaling Challenge Share the Love - Review The Adult Chair® Podcast MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Join the 2024 Waitlist! STAY CONNECTED Instagram: Facebook: The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: YouTube: /episode/index/show/theadultchair/id/28472996

390: Understanding Psychedelics with Matt Zemon 10/26/2023

390: Understanding Psychedelics with Matt Zemon Everyone seems to have an opinion about psychedelics these days. Doctors and therapists see them as potential treatments for things like anxiety, depression and PTSD. Spiritual communities believe they open us up to the divine. Politicians debate whether they should be legal or illegal. I have to admit that when I first heard people talking about them, I was scared. I’m not a big fan of substance use of any kind, and the idea of a “drug” becoming mainstream concerned me. But when some respected psychologists and colleagues of mine started talking about the healing power of psychedelics — people who were far from the 1960s “Summer of Love” stereotype — I knew the topic at least deserved my honest research. As I dug deeper into the science behind psychedelics and understood how they worked in the mind, I began to realize they weren’t about escaping but about going deeper into oneself by quieting the ego and opening the door to new parts of our consciousness. But, I wanted to make sure my opinion was backed up by accurate, science-based, factual research. And there are few people who I’ve found better informed on this topic than Matt Zemon. Matt was once a fellow skeptic like me who also became convinced through research and experience that psychedelics can play a positive role in therapeutic and medical settings. He is one of the most grounded, scientific voices I’ve heard on this topic — perfect for anyone who simply wants to learn more and see what you think for yourself — and I am thrilled to have him share his wealth of knowledge in this episode. Listen to discover: Matt’s story of opening his mind to psychedelics – and how they changed his life Safety considerations for psychedelic use Whether or not psychedelics are addictive (and how they can help treat addiction) The different types of psychedelics and how they work in the mind How and why psychedelics can help us change our thought patterns The importance of therapeutic integration after a psychedelic experience Resources for doing your own research and safe psychedelic use The choice to have a psychedelic experience is very personal, and I would never tell someone they should or should not try a powerful substance like these. But I do think we should all do our due diligence to research new breakthroughs in healing with an open mind — which I hope this episode helps you do. Because whether you get there through a psychedelic or not, allowing yourself to see new perspectives and change your mind is how you grow as a human…and that’s always a path worth pursuing. "In that first six- or seven-hour [psychedelic] journey, the entire way I look and interact with the world shifted." - Matt Zemon "Physically, these substances are relatively safe." - Matt Zemon "Not all psychedelics are the same, and you don't want to be on certain medications and taking a psychedelic." - Matt Zemon "The psychedelic process can help us remember a way that we used to think, maybe before we had adopted those behaviors...and from that rememberance, we can then start to take the steps to change our life." - Matt Zemon "It's not so much that [psychedelics are] a cure...they're really catalysts for change." - Matt Zemon "It's not a magic pill. None of them are a magic pill." - Michelle Chalfant "I felt like I was sitting with God each and every time. It was the most beautiful thing I've ever done." - Michelle Chalfant "The most important thing was the integration. What do you do after you've had this experience and then how do you integrate that into your life?" - Michelle Chalfant "In the psychedelic experience, a few things are going to happen. Your default mode network...is going to quiet down...Neurons fire together that haven't fired together in a long time...In this process, it's common that you will then feel connected to all things and all people. You'll feel loved. You'll feel enough. And that is, in my opinion, the reclaiming of your true self." - Matt Zemon "When you know you're enough and you know you're loved, you're starting to take away the masks you've put on and have been put on you." - Matt Zemon LINKS & RESOURCES Join the 30-Day Journaling Challenge Tanasi Use code ADULT to get 25% off your first order Matt Zemon Website "Psychedelics for Everyone" (Matt Zemon Book) Matt Zemon Instagram "How to Change Your Mind" Book Spirit Pharmacist Psychedelic Consultations/Education "A Really Good Day" Book Safe Drug Testing MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Join the 2024 Waitlist! STAY CONNECTED Instagram: Facebook: The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: YouTube: /episode/index/show/theadultchair/id/28356002

389: Steps for Working Through a Trigger with Angela Johnson 10/19/2023

389: Steps for Working Through a Trigger with Angela Johnson Triggers are a gift. Yes, you heard that right (and if you’ve been here for a while, you’ve heard me say it before) – I LOVE being triggered! That’s not to say it’s fun being triggered, but working with triggers has led to some of the most transformational moments of my life. See, triggers reveal unknown, unconscious beliefs we hold about ourselves – limiting beliefs that cause us pain and hold back in life. When these beliefs rise to the surface in the form of a trigger, we get the beautiful opportunity to work with them and transform them…not only healing the trigger but helping us get unstuck and change our lives. One of my Adult Chair® Coaches, Angela, recently had an experience working with a trigger that was so transformational that even she has jumped on the “triggers are a gift” bandwagon. A tiff with her husband led to a HUGE moment of self-discovery and deeper connection in their relationship, thanks to the trigger tools Angela learned through The Adult Chair®. I was so proud of the work she did that I invited her to come on the show and share exactly how she took ownership of the trigger (instead of blaming her husband) and then worked with the trigger to discover and heal the surprising belief underneath it — one she would have never recognized without the trigger Listen to discover: How Angela used The Adult Chair (TAC) to work through a trigger and repair a relationship The surprising root of Angela's trigger that she was able to uncover How TAC has completely changed the way Angela responds when triggered Why triggers are the gateway to freedom How triggers work through the lens of the Child, Adolescent and Adult Chairs Steps for working through a trigger Why doing our work and healing can make us less vulnerable to triggers When we work on our triggers, it is true freedom. We not only heal the limiting beliefs that hold us back but also find that we get triggered less with time. This is one of my favorite conversations because it shows this work in action and breaks it down for you in a powerful way. You will discover exactly how triggers work through the lens of The Adult Chair, how to stay regulated and grounded next time you’re triggered and steps to work through and heal your triggers for good. “When we work with ourselves and work on our own healing of our old wounds…it affects so many people around us.” - Michelle Chalfant "Like you said, triggers are a gift. You say it. I don't want it to be true. But I'm learning that it is." - Angela Johnson "[Triggers] are a gift...You will learn something about a part of you that's been buried for a very long time. And it is an opportunity to look at that and actually transform and bring that part into the light, and then it doesn't trigger you anymore." - Michelle Chalfant "What we don't understand about this work sometimes, because it feels scary, is that on the other side of it is freedom." - Angela Johnson "I've lived in that space of letting [triggers] disrupt my life and relationships for long enough that I just don't want to live that way anymore." - Angela Johnson "When we're in our Adult Chair...we remember that life is a choice, and everything in life is a choice. And we get to choose, "Do I want to stay in victim seat?" or, "Do I want to reach over and be in my empowerment seat?'" - Michelle Chalfant "Our perspective when we're triggered shrinks way down...what we want to do is broaden your perspective, and then you have all these different choices and options." - Michelle Chalfant "In the Adult, we live in the moment. We don't drag things from the past into the moment." - Michelle Chalfant "Freedom is not a quick little pill. It does take a little bit of work. But it's long lasting. This is not a band-aid approach." - Michelle Chalfant "You don't get activated the same way after you do that work. That's the miracle." - Angela Johnson LINKS & RESOURCES Angela Johnson Website Use code TRIGGER for $25 off a session Find an Adult Chair® Coach Join the 30-Day Journaling Challenge Tanasi Code ADULT to get 25% off your first order MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website The Adult Chair® Events The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Join the 2024 Waitlist! STAY CONNECTED Instagram: Facebook: The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: YouTube: /episode/index/show/theadultchair/id/28332116

388: Human Design with Emma Dunwoody 10/12/2023

388: Human Design with Emma Dunwoody Do you ever wonder why you do what you do…and if it’s just you who does it? Your gifts, your life’s mission, how much energy you have, what you need in relationships, how you view money – these are all unique to you. And according to Human Design, you are the way you are for a special reason. Unlike personality typing systems based on mental or behavioral patterns, Human Design is a system based on energy and what was going on in the universe when you were born. Though there are five main “types” within Human Design, it’s a very dynamic system that will help you understand what makes you you and what you need to thrive. I’ve been hearing tons of buzz about Human Design recently, and in this episode, I talk with Human Design coach (and overall delightful human), Emma Dunwoody, about what Human Design is and how it can help us better embrace our true selves. Not only does Emma answer all my questions about Human Design, but she also helped me decode my chart, and let me tell you – I felt so seen, validated and free to be myself once I understood I’m exactly who I’m meant to be (and you are too!). Listen to discover: What Human Design is The difference between Human Design and other personality systems How Human Design can change your life How to decode your own Human Design chart The five Human Design types What "functional burnout" is How Human Design can help us in dating and relationships What Human Design teaches us about money As you know from The Adult Chair®, we are all a kaleidoscope of parts, talents and experiences. Human Design is a fun, insightful tool to help us understand a little bit more about who we are — not to put us in a box but to give us permission to embrace and be our true selves. Because all those things that only you do? They make you uniquely lovable YOU, and the world wouldn’t be the same without you. "With Human Design, we don't go via the mind. We actually go via the energy…It gives us this energetic blueprint. I love to think of it as a treasure map to our authenticity." - Emma Dunwoody "You don't go into future with this at all. It really is just about who I am today." - Michelle Chalfant "So many people spend all this time trying to change themselves...With Human Design, it ultimately gives you a permission slip to be you." - Emma Dunwoody "We think we need to become who other people tell us that we should become...but with Human Design, you really help people to touch their true self." - Michelle Chalfant "Human Design teaches us that there are actually two different types of burnout...but what we don't talk about is this 'functional burnout.'" - Emma Dunwoody "There's so many ways that Human Design can really amplify and improve relationships." - Emma Dunwoody "Actually, what money is all about is being in alignment to your authenticity…When we are free to be ourselves, then we can't help but make money." - Emma Dunwoody "Our profile really helps us understand how we do life, what people want from us, how we learn." - Emma Dunwoody "Human Design is basically the science of being unique." - Emma Dunwoody LINKS & RESOURCES Emma Dunwoody Website (Get a Free Human Design Chart) "The Human Design Podcast" (Emma Dunwoody Podcast) Emma Dunwoody Instagram Tanasi Code ADULT to get 25% off your first order MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website The Adult Chair® Events The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Join the 2024 Waitlist! STAY CONNECTED Instagram: Facebook: The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: YouTube: /episode/index/show/theadultchair/id/28267586

387: How To Build Trust in Your Relationship 10/05/2023

387: How To Build Trust in Your Relationship When we think of trust in a relationship, most of us think of broken trust and big betrayals – things like infidelity, addiction and secrets. But true trust is about the small actions that we take every day. Trust isn’t something we have by default unless it’s broken; it's something we have to build. With every interaction, we’re either building or whittling away trust – and sometimes the things that break trust are so subtle, we don’t even know we’re doing them! In this episode, I’m giving you six ways to build trust so you can grow your relationship with your partner. These are small, simple actions, but they require awareness, intention and being in your Adult Chair to do consistently. If you want a long-lasting, deeper connection with your partner, this episode is a must listen! Listen to discover: What trust in a relationship is and why it's so important How trust deepens the bond in a committed relationship 6 steps to build trust today The importance of being true to your word How to own and apologize for mistakes and move forward How to show up with presence and prioritize your relationship Without trust, we can’t have healthy, connected relationships. Trust is an energetic bond that creates safety and allows us to open up, be vulnerable and grow together. The good news is that it’s not about perfection. All of us – including myself – don’t get these right all the time. What’s important is what we do when we mess up. Honesty, presence and the ability to own our mistakes are the ways we as imperfect humans create deep bonds with other imperfect humans and the key to getting the love you want – not the perfect fairy tale, but a beautiful journey of learning and growing together. “Trust is one of the essential components to a healthy, committed relationship.” - Michelle Chalfant “If we’re going to speak something and promise something to our partner, we want to make sure that we are able to line up behind what we’re saying.” - Michelle Chalfant “If you are going to speak something into existence, you have to speak it with your full energy and with you behind it…Your actions need to match your words.” - Michelle Chalfant “Owning it does not mean that you’re a bad person. You’re a human person, and mistakes are gonna happen.” - Michelle Chalfant “If you want to build trust and you’re in a committed relationship, apologizing is powerful. It helps to build a connection.” - Michelle Chalfant "When we have important people in our lives, we need to put the phone down, not look at the television, not get distracted by the dog or the cat or the animal in your house. We want to make sure that we're prioritizing our person and giving them our full attention." - Michelle Chalfant “We need to give our person eye contact when we’re listening. Because then they’re going to feel seen and they’re gonna feel heard, they feel important.” - Michelle Chalfant "You can't put the relationship on the back burner and your person on the back burner and expect [the relationship] to grow and flourish." - Michelle Chalfant "If you've got friends that are...acting in a way that's disrespectful to your partner, it's your job to defend your partner." - Michelle Chalfant "Even if the truth hurts, it's better than lying." - Michelle Chalfant "It feels so good to know that your person has you and you've got them. That's that bond of trust. Trust is like this energetic bond that we form with our partner." - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES DOORS OPEN: “The Relationship Reset” Course MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website The Adult Chair® Events The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Join the 2024 Waitlist! STAY CONNECTED Instagram: Facebook: The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: YouTube: /episode/index/show/theadultchair/id/28202078

386: How To Clear Generational Trauma with Emily Blefeld 09/28/2023

386: How To Clear Generational Trauma with Emily Blefeld For millennia, cultures around the globe have known that there’s more to us than meets the eye and that our family trees really are a map to ourselves — an energetic portrait of our lives. Today, epigenetics has proven that what our ancestors experienced can imprint on our genes and impact our lives today in unexpected ways. That depression, anxiety, stress or limiting belief? It might be from long ago. And the field of psychology is finally catching up with this. A new methodology I just discovered (and got the chance to try as a client) is called Family Constellation work. In this method, we find unconscious experiences and beliefs that we’re carrying from our ancestors — including those who we never knew — and work to transform them through awareness and compassion. On the podcast this week, I talked with my Family Constellation practitioner, Emily Blefeld, about what Family Constellation work is, how our family history affects our lives today and how we can clear blocks and dismantle generational cycles by being bold and brave enough to look at what happened before we were even here. It’s not that different from what we do with parts work in The Adult Chair®, except instead of working with parts of ourselves we’re working with parts of our family tree! It’s SO freaking cool! Listen to discover: How our family history impacts our present reality The way our ancestors' patterns create patterns for us today What Family Constellation work is and how it works How to heal trauma and clear blocks through Family Constellation work Using Family Constellation work for business, non-biological relatives and more The cool thing about epigenetics is that it describes a tendency, not a fate. These experiences don’t change our DNA; they change the way our genes express themselves. That means we get a choice in how these generational traumas will manifest in our lives. We don’t have to agree with the beliefs and experiences of our ancestors. We can look them in the face and decide they stop with us. And there’s no transformation more powerful than that – for ourselves and generations to come. “We are victim to our lineage.” - Michelle Chalfant “What’s unconscious will continue to permeate our lives until it’s made conscious.” - Emily Blefeld “We actually carry the victims and the perpetrators in our inherited lineage.” - Emily Blefeld “[Family Constellation work] is predominantly a therapy that looks at the system that we walk around with.” - Emily Blefeld “Constellation work is less interested in what is causing the symptom, and they’re more interested in who is the symptom.” - Emily Blefeld "I like to think of it as a family soul on some level." - Emily Blefeld "There's so much more to us than meets the eye." - Michelle Chalfant "There are so many different ways to clear our blocks. There's so many different ways to relieve anxiety, depression, feeling not good enough, our inner fraud, all of those things." - Michelle Chalfant "You'll feel the generations behind heal and the generations following." - Emily Blefeld "What an awesome thing to hear as a parent, your child thanking you for doing your work. Because it can stop with you." - Emily Blefeld LINKS & RESOURCES Emily Blefeld Website FREE MASTERCLASS: How To Heal Your Relationship To Get the Love You Want MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website The Adult Chair® Events The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Join the 2024 Waitlist! STAY CONNECTED Instagram: Facebook: The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: YouTube: /episode/index/show/theadultchair/id/28144913

385: Changing Your Relationships Through Your Primal Question with Mike Foster 09/21/2023

385: Changing Your Relationships Through Your Primal Question with Mike Foster What if everything you do in your life is actually driven by one question – a question that is unconscious to you but acts as the command center for how you show up in the world? That question is what Mike Foster calls your “primal question,” and let me tell you, when I discovered mine, it was like my whole life made sense. Mike developed The Seven Primal Questions system based on his research and work as a coach. The idea is that we all have a question – like, “Am I safe?” or, “Am I loved?” – that we didn’t get answered in childhood and that we continue to ask as adults. When the answer to this question is “yes,” we feel good and become our best selves. When it’s “no,” we start scrambling. Our emotional reactions, compulsions, unhelpful behaviors and survival strategies (things like perfectionism and people pleasing) are all attempts to get this question answered in the way we want. The cool thing? When we understand our primal question and the question of our loved ones, we can change everything about our relationships by healing our wounds, connecting to our gifts and intentionally answering each others’ question with a “yes!” I LOVE this system, and I’m thrilled to have Mike on this show giving us a crash course in it as he breaks down the seven questions, their corresponding “primal truths” and “primal gifts” and how these questions can show up in our lives in different ways. Listen to discover: The Seven Primal Questions and what they mean for your life How to replace your primal question with a primal truth Why the flipside of your primal question is your superpower How you can stop letting your child self run your life and live from your healthy adult self How to apply your primal question in business and relationships I have a feeling you’ll have some lightbulb moments during this show. I also have a link below to help you find your primal question if you’re having trouble figuring it out. This tool is a GAME CHANGER for more consciously relating to ourselves and others, and I’m thrilled to share it with you! It gets down to the core of what makes us tick and shows us how to love ourselves and the people in our life better…and who doesn’t want that? “In our early childhood, we get imprinted with a primal question…The primal question just represents our highest...emotional need.” - Mike Foster “‘Am I safe?’ is really about survival…where security is really about, ‘Am I resourced appropriately to be able to protect myself and sustain myself?’” - Mike Foster “[That’s] what children do, we perceive the world we’re in and then we make conclusions about it.” - Mike Foster “The other side of the question is what I call your primal gift, and it’s this superpower that every question has.” - Mike Foster "[During the first six years of life] we don't have discernment...we take it on as, 'It's my fault. I did something wrong.'" - Michelle Chalfant "When we start attuning to our team members' primal question, we can really become a very effective leader with them." - Mike Foster "What we need the most is what we want to give away to others." - Mike Foster "Under every behavior is an emotional or feeling driving that behavior. But under every emotion and feeling is an unmet need driving that emotion or feeling." - Mike Foster "A question being imprinted by trauma is just gonna carry a lot more weight to it than a question just imprinted through confusion." - Mike Foster "I just see this as such an empowering tool that can help any relationship." - Michelle Chalfant "I need to be really aware of how my question is showing up in my life." - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES Mike Foster Website Seven Primal Questions Assessment "The Seven Primal Questions" (Mike Foster Book) Mike Foster Instagram FREE DOWNLOAD: 5 Healthy Relationship Myths Green Chef Use code 60ADULT for 60% off + free shipping MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website The Adult Chair® Events The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Join the 2024 Waitlist! STAY CONNECTED Instagram: Facebook: The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: YouTube: /episode/index/show/theadultchair/id/28074702

384: Grieving Gracefully with Kris Carr 09/14/2023

384: Grieving Gracefully with Kris Carr Grief is a messy, complicated emotion, and very few of us know what to do with it. We don’t want to (or know how to) feel it, and when we’re around others who are grieving, most of us freeze. We feel uncomfortable, so we say nothing or say the wrong thing or stay away, all of which just adds to the pain. That was me in my 20s and 30s. But when I lost my father, I could no longer avoid grief. He taught me how to grieve…and I found that grief, as painful as it was, connected me to the deeper parts of my soul and made me a more whole-hearted person. In this episode, I was fortunate to connect with a new soul sister, Kris Carr, about her own journey with grief following the loss of her father. She experienced a lot of loss — including 20 years of living with Stage 4 cancer — but like me, she had spent her life shoving grief down until her dad passed away. As she walked with him from diagnosis until his death, she experienced heartbreaking moments, precious moments, joyful moments and spiritual moments that taught her more about being human and opened her up to life. We talk about how grief can show up in many different ways (not just death), what happens in our bodies when we don’t process it, how to support each other through this universal human experience and how to find joy even in a world where pain is part of our reality. Listen to discover: Kris's story of learning to live with both grief and hope What to say and not say to someone who is grieving What happens when we don't process grief Healthy ways to process grief Taking a "joy inventory" of your life This conversation is raw, real and beautiful — it’s wisdom earned by being in the trenches, and I hope it helps you get a little more comfortable with the discomfort of grief. There is no formula for grief. It’s something we simply have to be there with. And when we learn to be there with each other and hold space for it, it can become a sacred moment of deeper connection to ourselves and to each other. "Grief is such a touchy topic, and sometimes it can be hard to even approach the idea of learning more about it." - Kris Carr "In many ways, grief is a master healer." - Kris Carr "I couldn't hold [grief] in any longer and expect to be whole." - Kris Carr "We don't want to feel [grief]. We don't want to go into the negative emotion zone. If emotions are on that spectrum of love to fear, we don't want to go on that side of the spectrum at all. And grief is sitting right there glaring at all of us." - Michelle Chalfant "None of us are going to get out this life scratch free and stain resistant." - Kris Carr "I want to welcome all the parts of me and all the emotions to the table." - Kris Carr "I don't think the [stages of grief] were ever intended to be linear." - Kris Carr "There's nothing you can do to make my pain go away. So, it's not your responsibility to fix it. It's your responsibility to be present." - Kris Carr "There's nothing anybody can say or do to make the grief go away...but showing up with presence is one the best things we can do...As a human being, to feel witnessed is such a healing experience for us." - Michelle Chalfant "Not only are [our emotions] information, but they're energy. [Crying] is just letting that energy out." - Kris Carr "While you have the chance to be alive, how can you live as fully as possible, even though you've experienced enormous heartache?" - Kris Carr LINKS & RESOURCES Kris Carr Website "I'm Not a Mourning Person" (Kris Carr Book) FREE DOWNLOAD: 5 Healthy Relationship Myths MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website The Adult Chair® Events The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Join the 2024 Waitlist! STAY CONNECTED Instagram: Facebook: The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: YouTube: /episode/index/show/theadultchair/id/28001307

383: How To Make Peace With Your Past 09/07/2023

383: How To Make Peace With Your Past You’re here today, doing the work, living from your Adult Chair, becoming who you want to become. It feels really good. But as we live and grow and transform, it can sometimes bring up negative feelings about our past. Whether we made mistakes, missed opportunities, were hurt by someone or experienced a life-altering loss, every one of us has something about our past we wish we could change. Regret can cut deep – into our very souls – and bring a lot of pain, shame and blame with it. But whenever we live in regret, it causes us to miss another opportunity: the chance to make the most of the moment we have right now. In this show, I’m giving you three common reasons we get stuck in the past and six ways to make peace with your past and start living in the present moment. You will gain a new perspective on your past and learn to reframe it so you can rewire your brain to live without regret. Listen to discover: 3 reasons we get stuck in the past (and what to do about them) Why living in present reality is so much better than past reality How to reframe how you think about your past 6 ways to make peace with your past Remember, today will soon become your past. Will you look back and wish you hadn’t spent it stuck in regret? Or will you make the most of the moment and use the power you have right now to be who you want to be today? The present moment is such a powerful reality to live in. It's here that we find peace and joy. It’s here that we have the ability to make this moment one we won't regret. “The decision that we made in that moment, I don’t care how old you were…the person that we were in that moment, we were showing up the very, very best that we could.” - Michelle Chalfant “97% of the time, our assumptions are incorrect.” - Michelle Chalfant “Things that happened in our past, no matter if it’s a death or someone has done something to us or we made mistakes, it can be difficult to move on, but it’s possible.” - Michelle Chalfant “When we live in the moment, it’s a much different reality. It’s almost as if the world opens up.” - Michelle Chalfant “Living in the past is like having an anchor tied around our waist trying to move forward.” - Michelle Chalfant “What I’m giving you today are ways to move you forward into the moment.” - Michelle Chalfant “When we don’t feel our emotions around something, guess what? It keeps us stuck.” - Michelle Chalfant “When we block our emotions, we’re blocking ourselves.” - Michelle Chalfant “Forgiveness releases the hold that the past has on you.” - Michelle Chalfant “When we get in the habit of going back and beating up on ourselves or being mad about someone else…what we do is we form these neural pathways, and they are not healthy. It’s like we set the roadmap in our brains to go back and beat up on self.” - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES Podcast #381: Summer Series: How To Get Rid of Negative Emotions A Guided Meditation for Cleansing Relationships and Cutting Cords MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website The Adult Chair® Events The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Join the 2024 Waitlist! STAY CONNECTED Instagram: Facebook: The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: YouTube: /episode/index/show/theadultchair/id/27936924

382: Summer Series: Why Codependency Is Controlling & How To Heal It 08/31/2023

382: Summer Series: Why Codependency Is Controlling & How To Heal It Codependency is one of those issues that can often come across as selfless to those around us...in fact, it might even earn us praise because we seem so nice and helpful (although at our own expense). But what if I told you that codependency was actually a form of control? This episode today was inspired by a very insightful question from one of our listeners who shared his realization that in his codependency, he was being unintentionally manipulative and controlling. He was showing up as the ever-helpful husband, but he was often doing this from a place of trying to get his own needs met (earning his wife’s love, support, etc.). Of course, this was not conscious, and once he had his awakening, he wanted to know how to move forward and learn how to be genuinely helpful and healthy. Codependency is one of my favorite topics to talk about, and in this episode, I’m giving you five simple steps for what to do next when you find yourself asking, “I’m codependent. Now what?” Listen to discover: How we improve our relationships with others when we’re codependent Why this is different than intentional or abusive control Five steps to break the pattern of codependency Why realizing you’re codependent isn’t a bad thing If this is you, the first step is to drop the blame and shame. You weren’t trying to be manipulative; you were trying to survive based on what your programming told you to do. Once you realize this, you can step into a whole new chapter in your life...one filled with healthier relationships and a healthier connection to self! “We’re controlling and being manipulative from an unconscious place.” - Michelle Chalfant “We betray ourselves and change who we are in order to make sure other people outside of us are happy and peaceful. That’s how it’s manipulative and controlling.” - Michelle Chalfant “We need someone who can fact check us.” - Michelle Chalfant “That’s why so many codependents are so exhausted, because our energy is going out to others all day, every day.” - Michelle Chalfant MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website The Adult Chair® Events The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Join the 2024 Waitlist! STAY CONNECTED Instagram: Facebook: The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: YouTube: /episode/index/show/theadultchair/id/27871290

381: Summer Series: How To Get Rid of Negative Emotions 08/24/2023

381: Summer Series: How To Get Rid of Negative Emotions Grief, anger, sadness, fear…YUCK! I don’t know anyone who likes to feel these emotions. I get emails from you guys all the time asking how to get rid of “negative” emotions like these. But are these emotions really negative? Or do they serve a purpose in our lives? While some emotions might feel more unpleasant than others, I personally don’t believe any emotion is negative. All emotions are part of the human experience and carry information for us. However, they can create negative experiences in life when we get stuck in them. The problem isn’t the emotions; it’s that we don’t know what to do with them! In this show, I’m teaching you how to work through the full range of emotions you were designed to experience as a human and how to get unstuck if you find yourself lost in anger, grief or fear. You’ll discover practical steps for feeling your emotions in a way that allows them to move through you, no matter how you saw emotions modeled growing up. Listen to discover: Why “negative” emotions serve a purpose in life The messages we receive about emotions as children What causes emotions to get stuck Practical steps to feel emotions and move them through you Emotions are simply energy that moves through our body and creates sensation. And on the spectrum of emotions from love to fear, some feel better than others…but because they are energy, they can ALL move through us (and move through us quickly). Problems arise when emotions come up that we don’t want to feel. We avoid them and shut them down, which makes us more likely to get stuck in these “negative” experiences. That's why we have to start going INTO our emotions, no matter how uncomfortable it might feel. When you do this, you’ll be surprised how quickly they move through you...and what powerful insights they might hold for you. “We’re human, and humans were created to have emotions. We were created to have a range of emotions.” - Michelle Chalfant “There’s an energy to emotions that rises up and passes through us.” - Michelle Chalfant “I don’t even like to call emotions on the fear end of the spectrum ‘negative.’” - Michelle Chalfant “Anger propels us forward.” - Michelle Chalfant “Energy is always in motion, and emotions are energy.” - Michelle Chalfant “Something that keeps emotions stuck is a story.” - Michelle Chalfant “Just let it go and be present with whatever is coming up.” - Michelle Chalfant “When you put pen to paper, you’re tapping into your unconscious world.” - Michelle Chalfant “There’s power when someone is witnessing what’s going on in our inner world.” - Michelle Chalfant “If you feel the energy of peace, it's neutral.” - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES Green Chef Use code ADULT50 for 50% off + free shipping MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website The Adult Chair® Events The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Join the 2024 Waitlist! STAY CONNECTED Instagram: Facebook: The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: YouTube: /episode/index/show/theadultchair/id/27808536

380: Summer Series: A Holistic Approach to Anxiety with Dr. Ellen Vora 08/17/2023

380: Summer Series: A Holistic Approach to Anxiety with Dr. Ellen Vora Our society today is facing an epidemic of anxiety. Despite technology that promises to make our lives faster and easier, it seems that we’re more anxious than ever. In 2020, Google searches for “anxiety” reached an all-time high. We have to look beyond the diagnosis of anxiety and seek to find the root cause of why so many people are living with such high stress and dysregulation that are creating anxiety. There is something bigger going on here. And since we’re whole humans, we need to look at the whole picture – mind, body and spirit – when thinking about how we heal and manage anxiety. My guest on this show, Dr. Ellen Vora, is a psychiatrist who takes a functional medicine approach to anxiety, looking at mental health factors and physical health factors, such as sleep, digestion and blood sugar, that can add up to throw us out of balance and contribute to feelings of anxiety. She also helps us to distinguish between feelings of anxiety that come from a physical imbalance vs. true anxiety, which comes from our inner compass telling us something truly isn’t ok. Listen to discover: What's causing our current epidemic of anxiety The connection between sleep and anxiety Why blood sugar imbalances can cause "false anxiety" The difference between true anxiety and false anxiety The many reasons for cell phone-induced anxiety Spirituality and anxiety management A psychiatrist’s honest opinion about psychedelics, medications and anxiety We need to start taking a “layered” approach to treating and managing anxiety by looking at the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual elements of our lives and how they work together to create stress or health. This hopeful approach to anxiety empowers us all to make choices that support our well-being, even in the face of real personal and mental health challenges. "I was sort of taking the temperature of our society, and the temperature right now is anxiety." - Dr. Ellen Vora "False anxiety is anxiety that is not our true essence." - Dr. Ellen Vora "It's not just one thing that we have to look at." - Michelle Chalfant "Genes plays a role, but that keeps a lot of us feeling stuck and feeling destined to be anxious....it's more dynamic than we appreciate." - Dr. Ellen Vora "Our problems, our stressors are still valid. It's just that if we had a snack and our blood sugar was more stable in that moment, we would be more resilient in the face of our stressors." - Dr. Ellen Vora "Our mind is the consummate meaning maker." - Dr. Ellen Vora “It’s not like we have to dramatically change everything that we do, but we just want to make informed choices.” - Dr. Ellen Vora “We don’t get to gluten free or decaf coffee our way out of our true anxiety.” - Dr. Ellen Vora “I would have my clients sit in their bodies and feel what was going on, and their physical symptoms would start to change.” - Michelle Chalfant “[Anxiety] is the physical manifestation of unfelt emotions.” - Michelle Chalfant “It’s our body that’s able to listen and really dial in and tap into a deeper knowing.” - Dr. Ellen Vora “It’s turning toward the anxiety instead of turning away from.” - Michelle Chalfant “We reach outside of ourselves to ‘fix us’…and it doesn’t end it. We’ve gotta get to the root.” - Michelle Chalfant “We need to change our narrative of what is materially possible.” - Dr. Ellen Vora “We’re never stuck. We are never broken.” - Dr. Ellen Vora LINKS & RESOURCES Dr. Ellen Vora Website Dr. Ellen Vora Instagram "The Anatomy of Anxiety" (Dr. Ellen Vora book) The Self-Worth Meditation Bundle MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website The Adult Chair® Events The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Join the 2024 Waitlist! STAY CONNECTED Instagram: Facebook: The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: YouTube: /episode/index/show/theadultchair/id/27748608

379: Summer Series: Enmeshment, Codependency & Boundaries with Dr. Ken Adams 08/10/2023

379: Summer Series: Enmeshment, Codependency & Boundaries with Dr. Ken Adams Do you ever feel like you’re being disloyal to your family for having your own life? Or do you feel like you’re second fiddle to your partner’s parents? If so, you or your partner might come from an enmeshed family: a system of relating to each other that is based on dependency, guilt, obligation and too much closeness (yes, that can be a thing!). In today’s episode, I’m bringing back one of your favorite guests, Dr. Ken Adams, to talk about the important topic of enmeshment – and let me tell you, he is SUCH a wealth of knowledge! When I knew we were bringing Dr. Adams back, I asked The Adult Chair® community what you wanted to know about enmeshment, and I was flooded with questions! So, I used this time with Dr. Adams to ask him YOUR questions – everything from the difference between codependency and enmeshment to what to do if your spouse is enmeshed with his or her family to how to let go as an enmeshed parent. I know you guys are so excited to have Dr. Adams back and to get your questions answered, and I am too! Listen to discover: The line between being caring and enmeshment The difference between codependency and enmeshment What to do if you come from an enmeshed family or your spouse’s family is enmeshed How to manage guilt when stepping out of an enmeshed system What a healthy family looks like How different cultural norms can foster enmeshment Tips for enmeshed parents who want to change their pattern of relating to their children or who are struggling with letting go The key to recognizing enmeshment is to understand that it’s a connection bound by guilt. It goes beyond being caring and even beyond being codependent to the point of obligation, anger and being accused of disloyalty if you don’t follow the family system. These feelings of guilt can make it difficult to set boundaries, but if you stay in your Adult, sit with your emotions and hold those boundaries, freedom – and possibly a much healthier family overall – is waiting for you on the other side. “In those enmeshed systems, dependency is built on obligation and loyalty is driven by guilt.” - Dr. Ken Adams “Autonomy and separateness feel like disloyalty.” - Dr. Ken Adams “Sometimes outsiders are viewed suspiciously, which includes your spouse.” - Dr. Ken Adams “Both partners are responsible for keeping out intrusions”. - Dr. Ken Adams “Sometimes the guilt is a representation that you’re doing the right thing.” - Dr. Ken Adams “You don’t let the guilt stop you from continuing the boundaries in that relationship.” - Michelle Chalfant “It’s really building up self-worth around who am I now…who am I really underneath these masks that my parents put on me.” - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES Dr. Ken Adams Website Episode #256: Understanding Enmeshment with Dr. Ken Adams Episode #276: Raising Teens from The Adult Chair® with Dr. Pam Staples Find an Adult Chair® Coach MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website The Adult Chair® Events The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Join the 2024 Waitlist! STAY CONNECTED Instagram: Facebook: The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: YouTube: /episode/index/show/theadultchair/id/27685485

378: Summer Series: Healing Your Abandonment Wound with Susan Anderson 08/03/2023

378: Summer Series: Healing Your Abandonment Wound with Susan Anderson Rejection is one of the greatest fears we have as humans. Even simple rejections like not making the team or being chosen for a job – things we know aren’t personal – still sting deeply. Why does rejection seem to hit at the core of who we are? Susan Anderson began asking this question when she went through a personal experience of abandonment. The love of her life left her suddenly for another woman, and although she was a practicing psychotherapist with immense knowledge of the human mind, she still found herself in emotional crisis and doubting herself and her worthiness. As she dug more into this topic, she discovered that we as humans have a primal abandonment wound – a universal experience that begins when we are born and go from deep union and connection with our mother to a feeling of being separate. This creates deep shame and causes us to search for belonging and worthiness throughout our lives. And this is why rejection hurts so much: it triggers this deep fear that we might not belong and we might not be worthy. In this fascinating and important episode, Susan shares her discoveries on the topic of abandonment, why we experience it the ways we do and how a whole host of other issues in our lives can stem from this wound. We discussed why healing abandonment trauma looks different from healing other traumas, the five stages of healing and the tools (all of which are part of The Adult Chair® model) that can heal it. Listen to discover: The hidden shame we all have and the root of it The different defenses we put up against shame How to raise our awareness to our abandonment wounds Why healing from abandonment looks different from other forms of trauma healing Steps to healing abandonment wounding How working with abandonment wounding can help with people pleasing, codependency and self-sabotage 5 stages of processing abandonment hurt The primal wound of abandonment is also an opportunity for primal healing. When we learn to love and accept ourselves as worthy and recognize how deeply connected we truly are, we not only heal our abandonment wound, but we can change almost anything in our lives. "The loneliness is sort of a secondary feeling. The primary is the primal fear and the shame of maybe never being worthy of keeping someone." - Susan Anderson "The personality itself is a defense against the shame." - Susan Anderson "When we look at a relationship that ends, it is a retraumatization of what we experienced as a child." - Michelle Chalfant "The history that leads to a strong reaction in adulthood to abandonment could be very subtle." - Susan Anderson "You have to take this step, and you go through it...The pain is there, but you go through it, and you get to the other side." - Michelle Chalfant "Your adult self can now develop an intense, loving, reassuring relationship with your inner child." - Susan Anderson "It turns this awful emotional crisis that's so painful into an opportunity for something that's probably long overdue, which is self-love." - Susan Anderson "Doing these steps, you will become an even better, stronger, more self-loving person on the other side of it...even stronger than you were prior to this abandonment wound." - Michelle Chalfant "The kind of self-love that we're developing is deeper, more mature self-love...the kind of love you give yourself because you respect yourself so much." - Susan Anderson "We have to stop looking outside of self and turn our attention inward. That's where healing, that's where love, that's where hope, that's where peace, that's where all the things are that we're looking for outside of ourselves." - Michelle Chalfant "When the adult gets strong and is in command, it limits all of this self-sabotage." - Susan Anderson LINKS & RESOURCES Susan Anderson Website "The Journey from Abandonment to Healing" (Susan Anderson book) Green Chef Use code ADULT50 for 50% off + free shipping MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website The Adult Chair® Events The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Join the 2024 Waitlist! STAY CONNECTED Instagram: Facebook: The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: YouTube: /episode/index/show/theadultchair/id/27614580

377: Summer Series: Why and How To Feel Your Emotions 07/27/2023

377: Summer Series: Why and How To Feel Your Emotions In my 25 years of private practice, the #1 issue I worked on with clients was feeling their emotions. Whether someone was anxious, reactive and raging or numb to the world, the question they were all asking was, “What the heck do I do with these emotions?” I’ve been there too. And it breaks my heart, because experiencing emotions is one of the gifts of being human. But the good news is that all of us can reclaim this part of ourselves and learn to feel our emotions. And when we do, it unlocks all kinds of possibilities in life! In this episode, I’m breaking down why it’s so important that we learn to feel our emotions and some practical ways to do that. I’m also addressing some of the common fears and discomfort around feeling emotions (like, “What if I get stuck in this emotion?”) and helping you understand why this is your birthright – and how it can improve your relationships, your intuition and your life! Listen to discover: Why it's so important to feel your emotions Why most humans struggle with this Four practical ways to feel your emotions How to connect with your inner child How to overcome blocks in feeling emotions No one is born without emotions, but along the way, we learn to suppress them – and in turn, disconnect from who we really are. Feeling emotions is the key to connecting back to yourself and one of the foundational pillars of being a healthy adult. I hope this episode helps guide you back to this essential part of you. "We'd have a completely different world if we were all able to tune into what our emotions are." - Michelle Chalfant "We become whole humans when we feel our emotions." - Michelle Chalfant "We're all born to feel emotions." - Michelle Chalfant "When we feel our emotions, it is a gateway into our intuition. We have enhanced intuition when we are in tune with and know what we are feeling emotionally." - Michelle Chalfant "Instead of asking yourself, 'What do I think?" ask yourself, "What do I feel?'" - Michelle Chalfant "Empathy is when we're able to tune into another person and feel what they're feeling. It's a beautiful skill to have." - Michelle Chalfant "Connecting with the inner child is simply activating an energy." - Michelle Chalfant "There's so much power in feeling our emotions." - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES Free Inner Child Resource MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website The Adult Chair® Events The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: Facebook: The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: YouTube: /episode/index/show/theadultchair/id/27510483

376: Summer Series: “I Feel Like a Fraud!” Overcoming Imposter Syndrome 07/20/2023

376: Summer Series: “I Feel Like a Fraud!” Overcoming Imposter Syndrome You landed the dream gig, got the promotion, submitted your book for publishing, had an amazing first date. So, why do you feel so insecure, unsure and even unworthy? Hello, imposter syndrome! Imposter syndrome, or feeling like a fraud, is something that everyone struggles with from time to time — yep, even those super successful people you look up to. It’s that feeling that you don’t really deserve the recognition or opportunities you’ve earned or you worry you’re not really good enough for them. It often sounds like, “If they only knew…” Imposter syndrome can pop up when something good happens in our life or it can hold us back from ever going after our dreams. In this episode, I’m breaking down exactly what imposter syndrome is, where it comes from and the concrete steps you can take to work through it and overcome it! Listen to discover: What imposter syndrome is Where it comes from Practical steps to stop feeling like a fraud or an imposter Feeling like a fraud is part of the human experience. But because this feeling causes us shame, we hide it and then end up thinking we’re the only ones. It’s time we talk about it openly — and talk about what you can do so it doesn’t hold you back any longer! I hope the steps in this episode are steps you can turn to anytime you feel imposter syndrome creep up. "If you feel this way, don't feel like you're the only one." - Michelle Chalfant "It's the feeling that you're a fraud, that you don't deserve compliments, praise or success that you rightfully earned." - Michelle Chalfant "When we have imposter syndrome, we feel like our success happened by chance or by luck." - Michelle Chalfant "It's like we're carrying around this big, dark secret that we want no one to know about." - Michelle Chalfant "It's critical to have self-worth. This is one of the ways that we work ourselves out of feeling like a fraud or an imposter." - Michelle Chalfant "When we can become witness to it, we give ourselves another perspective." - Michelle Chalfant "Don't let your rouge thoughts run your life." - Michelle Chalfant "When we change our thoughts into positive, conscious thoughts about who we are, it feels better." - Michelle Chalfant "What we're not great at doing is accepting and owning our accomplishments." - Michelle Chalfant "These are your accomplishments. They're yours. Claim them. Be proud of them." - Michelle Chalfant "Self-worth is key to changing your mindset about being a fraud." - Michelle Chalfant "Self-worth is all about value." - Michelle Chalfant "Imposter syndrome is much more common than you would think." - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES Green Chef Use code ADULT60 for 60% off + free shipping The Adult Chair® Private Facebook Group MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website The Adult Chair® Events The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: Facebook: \ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: YouTube: /episode/index/show/theadultchair/id/27489513

375: Summer Series: A Raw Conversation About Sobriety with Laura McKowen 07/13/2023

375: Summer Series: A Raw Conversation About Sobriety with Laura McKowen Cheers. Salud. Skol. Wherever you are in the world, it seems like alcohol punctuates every celebration. But have we stopped to ask if alcohol is really good for us? Or have we paused to get curious about why we drink – and when it moves from genuine enjoyment to unhealthy numbing out? Recently, I’ve noticed more people having conversations about sobriety, from giving up drinking entirely to swapping a few cocktails for mocktails, and I thought it was time we talked about alcohol through the lens of The Adult Chair®. In this episode, I’m chatting with Laura McKowen, who has written extensively about getting sober and runs a global sobriety support community. She openly and vulnerably shares her story of using alcohol to numb her emotions, why and how she got sober and what her life looks like now. We talked about how our culture normalizes excessive drinking, all the emotions that come up when getting sober and ways to tell if you might have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. If you’re at all “sober curious,” you’re going to love hearing her perspective! Listen to discover: Laura's story of getting sober and why she chose to stop drinking How drinking culture normalizes excessive drinking Busting health myths about alcohol The connection between alcohol and anxiety How Laura's life got better when she got sober The way we use alcohol to numb our emotions How to develop a healthier relationship with alcohol, whether you choose to cut it out completely or enjoy it in moderation Like everything in The Adult Chair, we aren’t talking in terms of “do” or “don’t” or “good” or “bad,” but about bringing consciousness into the decisions we make. My goal for this show is not to tell you to stop drinking, but to encourage you to take a closer look at when you drink, why you drink and how you drink so you can truly live life to the fullest: present, awake and alive! "I knew I liked to drink a little too much. I loved it a little too much." - Laura McKowen [When offered a drink after a bad day] "I don't want a glass of wine. I would like to come talk to you about my emotions though." - Michelle Chalfant "We end up recreating our life in a way that decenters alcohol...my life is still my life." - Laura McKowen "When you are drinking even a little more than you want to, it keeps you from facing the truth." - Laura McKowen "Alcohol provides a really great shield to just sort of skim across the top of life." - Laura McKowen "I was in a lot of emotional pain. I know that's exactly why I reached for alcohol." - Michelle Chalfant "We don't get away with not feeling things. It goes somewhere." - Laura McKowen "Shame disconnects us from our humanity and the humanity in other people." - Laura McKowen "The not drinking wasn't the cure....it was actually connecting with other people in a meaningful way and healing in relationship with people that allowed me to heal." - Laura McKowen LINKS & RESOURCES Laura McKowen Website Laura McKowen Instagram "Push Off From Here" (Laura McKowen Book) The Self-Worth Meditation Bundle MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website The Adult Chair® Events The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: Facebook: The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: YouTube: /episode/index/show/theadultchair/id/27423075

374: Summer Series: Balancing Your Hormones for a Healthier Life with Candace Burch 07/06/2023

374: Summer Series: Balancing Your Hormones for a Healthier Life with Candace Burch There are so many different aspects of being an emotionally healthy adult. We’re complex, connected beings, and our bodies, our minds, our emotions, our spiritual lives…they all play a role in how we feel every day. It all matters! One of the areas we don’t talk about enough is our hormones. Hormones impact SO many of our bodily and mental functions, and we’ve been kept in the dark about them for too long! Everyone deserves to understand this part of themselves! In this episode, I talk to hormone health educator Candace Burch to help us understand all things hormones…and wow, is she a WEALTH of information! We talk about how hormones impact our lives from our teenage years all the way through menopause, the symptoms of hormonal imbalances and all the related topics when it comes to hormones: birth control, fertility, anxiety, acne, PCOS, stress and SO much more. You will walk away with a much better understanding of the role of each hormone in your body and the empowered choices you have when it comes to balancing your hormones. Listen to discover: The classic signs and symptoms of hormone imbalances Some of the things that can contribute to hormone balance Hormonal changes you can expect in each stage of life The key female hormones and the importance of adrenal health How to approach hormone testing and replenishment/supplementation The root cause of PCOS This show focuses on female hormones since they are so complex, but I hope it is helpful for all of us to recognize that our internal chemistry and the cyclical nature of our bodies are not to be ignored. When we learn to work with our bodies, trust our intuitions and get support when we’re feeling out of balance, we can take more ownership of our health through every stage of life. "Painful periods are not normal." - Candace Burch "So many women are not aware of the symptoms or they become their symptoms." - Candace Burch "The whole concept of hormone imbalance is relatively new." - Candace Burch "Ovulation disruption is one of the big reasons people become hormonally imbalanced." - Candace Burch "When you talk about health or hormonal health in any case, it's always about nutrient dense proteins, good nutrition." - Candace Burch "That's key: keeping blood sugar stable." - Candace Burch "There's this inevitable road to hormones shifting, but they shouldn't be shifting like a roller coaster." - Candace Burch "I think a lot of people don't even know how to relax anymore." - Candace Burch "The adrenals are key to everything really." - Candace Burch "There are not a lot of studies with intermittent fasting with women." - Michelle Chalfant "Progesterone is the great balancing hormone." - Candace Burch "Estrogen has so many functions. We need it." - Candace Burch "I'm a fan of hormone replenishment when testing takes place first, in measured doses." - Candace Burch "High cortisol at night is really problematic." - Candace Burch "I think most PCOS is very much linked to insulin resistance and an imbalance of blood sugar." - Candace Burch "Anyone that has PCOS doesn't need to feel helpless and hopeless." - Candace Burch "I think women have to trust their intuition." - Candace Burch LINKS & RESOURCES Candace Burch Website Your Hormone Balance Instagram The Self-Worth Meditation Bundle Build Your Own Rebalancing Package Use code ADULTCHAIR50 for $50 off MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website The Adult Chair® Events The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: Facebook: The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: YouTube: /episode/index/show/theadultchair/id/27354798

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