theCDeffect Podcast

theCDeffect is a weekly podcast where we help you gain mastery over your life, by helping you embrace your mess, and gain the courage to uncover the truth behind your birth.

Invisible Life: I'm Coming Back | Episode 075 11/15/2020

Invisible Life: I'm Coming Back | Episode 075 When we set out on this journey to put words to the emotional journey of black gay men, we knew it would be complicated. What we did not know, is how cathartic it would be to express out loud the trauma we carried since we were little boys with big secrets. In this final episode of the series, we explore what we’ve learned, what it means, and where we must continue to grow. Featuring Akim Bryant, Dan Hollaway and music by Lakey Inspired. /episode/index/show/thecdeffect/id/16812422

Invisible Life: Helping Ourselves, Part III | Episode 074 11/08/2020

Invisible Life: Helping Ourselves, Part III | Episode 074 For black gay men, the intersections of race, sexual orientation and gender—among many other descriptive identities—often leaves us feeling deeply undervalued and uncertain about our future. In this episode, we finish exploring our final three core concerns we personally believe black gay men must confront if we are to heal ourselves and reclaim our future. Featuring Akim Bryant, Dan Hollaway and music by Lakey Inspired. /episode/index/show/thecdeffect/id/16721534

Invisible Life: Helping Ourselves, Part II | Episode 073 11/01/2020

Invisible Life: Helping Ourselves, Part II | Episode 073 For black gay men, the intersections of race, sexual orientation and gender—among many other descriptive identities—often leaves us feeling deeply undervalued and uncertain about our future. In this episode, we continue exploring our core concerns we personally believe black gay men must confront if we are to heal ourselves and reclaim our future. Featuring Akim Bryant, Dan Hollaway and music by Lakey Inspired. /episode/index/show/thecdeffect/id/16628111

Invisible Life: Helping Ourselves, Part I | Episode 072 10/25/2020

Invisible Life: Helping Ourselves, Part I | Episode 072 For black gay men, the intersections of race, sexual orientation and gender—among many other descriptive identities—often leaves us feeling deeply undervalued and uncertain about our future. In this episode, we explore three of nine core concerns we personally believe black gay men must confront if we are to heal ourselves and reclaim our future. Featuring Akim Bryant, Dan Hollaway and music by Lakey Inspired. /episode/index/show/thecdeffect/id/16532744

Invisible Life: Under-Functioning & Codependency | Episode 071 10/18/2020

Invisible Life: Under-Functioning & Codependency | Episode 071 Codependency is generally defined as the preoccupation and extreme dependency, emotionally, socially and sometimes physically on a person or object. In this episode, we explore how under-functioning, over-functioning and codependency work together to create relationships that leave us feeling separated from others and ourselves. Featuring Akim Bryant, Dan Hollaway and music by Lakey Inspired. /episode/index/show/thecdeffect/id/16441973

Invisible Life: Over-Functioning & People-Pleasing | Episode 070 10/11/2020

Invisible Life: Over-Functioning & People-Pleasing | Episode 070 According to psychotherapist, M. Formica, “Attempting to manage the emotions of others engenders our relationships with a complex dynamic of power and control.” In this episode, we explore how and why we over-function and people-please and what it ultimately does to ourselves and our relationships. Featuring Akim Bryant, Dan Hollaway and music by Lakey Inspired. /episode/index/show/thecdeffect/id/16352024

Invisible Life: Becoming, Myself | Episode 069 10/04/2020

Invisible Life: Becoming, Myself | Episode 069 The statement: “Just be yourself.”, sounds promising, but without the expertise to do it, what good is it? For many of us, being ourselves means intentionally going against long-standing social norms. In this episode, we explore the frustrations of attempting to be one’s self in a world that would rather have you fit in. Featuring Akim Bryant, Dan Hollaway and music by Lakey Inspired. /episode/index/show/thecdeffect/id/16259366

Invisible Life: Becoming, Myself | Episode 069 10/04/2020

Invisible Life: Ending Toxic Relational Cycles | Episode 068 09/27/2020

Invisible Life: Ending Toxic Relational Cycles | Episode 068 If love is what we truly want, the only way to get it is by moving away from the people, places and things that keep you locked in moments, circumstances and situations that render love impossible. In this episode, we explore toxic relational cycles, why they’re so difficult to escape and if we’re at a place in our lives where walking away is possible. Featuring Akim Bryant, Dan Hollaway and music by Lakey Inspired. /episode/index/show/thecdeffect/id/16165931

Invisible Life: "I Just Wanna Be Loved..." | Episode 067 09/20/2020

Invisible Life: "I Just Wanna Be Loved..." | Episode 067 All of us have an intense desire to love and be loved. But our experience of love at an early age, and the confusion that follows over the course or many relationships leaves us believing we could live our lives without love. In this episode, we explore the relationship black gay men have with love, the archetypes we use to justify love and how cultural norms, pressures and expectations work to extinguish our love. Featuring Akim Bryant, Dan Hollaway and music by Lakey Inspired. /episode/index/show/thecdeffect/id/16074152

Invisible Life: {{TRIGGERED}} | Episode 066 09/13/2020

Invisible Life: {{TRIGGERED}} | Episode 066 We’ve all been there. In the middle of a conversation at work with colleagues, out for a night on the town with friends, or at home with family, and suddenly you’re overcome by a sudden, intense emotional reaction to a joke, a comment or a suggestion. Your thinking escalates and feelings of fear and anger overwhelm and threaten to overtake you. In this episode, we explore what triggers us and how we respond. Featuring Akim Bryant, Dan Hollaway and music by Lakey Inspired. /episode/index/show/thecdeffect/id/15986834

BLACK LIVES MATTER | Episode 065 09/06/2020

BLACK LIVES MATTER | Episode 065 The calendar year 2020, by any stretch, has been an emotionally, spiritually, psychologically and physically draining year. For Black people in the United States of America, it’s been even more exhausting thanks to systemic oppression, white supremacy and rampant social injustices. In this episode, we explore how we’re managing the recent upheavals, the marketing of "Black Pain” and why sometimes Black folks need to shout. Featuring Akim Bryant, Dan Hollaway and music by Lakey Inspired. /episode/index/show/thecdeffect/id/15889940

Invisible Life: Self-Sabotage II 08/30/2020

Invisible Life: Self-Sabotage II Self-Sabotage - [verb] (1) Actively or passively taking steps to prevent one’s self from reaching goals; can affect every aspect of one’s life, relationships, career and personal aspirations. (2) Behaviors or thought patterns that hold you back and prevent you from doing what you want to do. (3) The act of destroying or damaging something deliberately so that it does not function properly; to stop achievement. Featuring Akim Bryant, Dan Hollaway and music by Lakey Inspired. /episode/index/show/thecdeffect/id/15802277

Invisible Life: {ATTACHED} | Episode 063 08/23/2020

Invisible Life: {ATTACHED} | Episode 063 Humans are social creatures. Our need for connection shapes our neural architecture, our response to stress and the interpersonal dilemmas at the heart of our lives. Some of us develop Secure Attachments, while others develop Insecure Attachments to the people in our lives. In this episode, we explore the varied aspects of Attachment and the ways in which these patterns, unless addressed, persist in our lives. Featuring Akim Bryant, Dan Hollaway and music by Lakey Inspired. /episode/index/show/thecdeffect/id/15713408

Invisible Life: Stuck Pages | Episode 062 08/16/2020

Invisible Life: Stuck Pages | Episode 062 For many of us, it can be difficult to recognize we are stuck in moments and situations that first gave rise to our pain; because time is moving, we believe we are too. Yet year after year the same haunting past resurfaces. In this episode, we explore the ways in which we superimpose our past experiences onto our new experiences, preventing us from moving beyond the stories we now recite by heart. Featuring Akim Bryant, Dan Hollaway and music by Lakey Inspired. /episode/index/show/thecdeffect/id/15625544

Invisible Life: Exposing the Heart of a Heartbreaker | Episode 061 08/09/2020

Invisible Life: Exposing the Heart of a Heartbreaker | Episode 061 Typically, when we think of the “heartbreaker" we look outside of ourselves, to people and circumstances that have had a memorable negative impact on our own heart experience. Rarely do we look at ourselves as generators of heartbreak, but, what would happen if we did? In this episode, we explore the ways in which our hearts were first broken and how those breaks paved paths to many more. Featuring Akim Bryant, Dan Hollaway and music by Lakey Inspired. /episode/index/show/thecdeffect/id/15531272

Invisible Life: Lonely Within Loneliness | Episode 060 08/02/2020

Invisible Life: Lonely Within Loneliness | Episode 060 The impact of silence is deafening; particularly if that silence is shrouded in the fear of rejection, criticism, disappointment, harassment, humiliation, ridicule or other forms of punishment, perceived or realized. In this episode, we explore the tendency towards silence among black gay men and the ways in which it breeds loneliness and deep feelings of isolation. Featuring Akim Bryant, Dan Hollaway and music by Lakey Inspired. /episode/index/show/thecdeffect/id/15403526

Invisible Life: A New Series | Episode 059 07/26/2020

Invisible Life: A New Series | Episode 059 So much of our lives are unspoken. When your decision to fall silent is based on a deep and pervasive fear of rejection, silence often seems the only answer. In this new series of conversation, we explore the makings of an Invisible Life and how black gay men can learn to be not only seen, but heard. Featuring Akim Bryant, Dan Hollaway and music by Lakey Inspired. /episode/index/show/thecdeffect/id/15332900

Facing the Mirror | Episode 058 03/29/2020

Facing the Mirror | Episode 058 At the time of this recording, the world continues to suffer from the physical, emotional, financial and psychological impact of COVID-19. Hundreds of thousands of people are quarantined in their homes far from the people and happenings that give their life meaning. In this episode, we explore how facing the mirror helps us to see all things through the eyes of love. Featuring Ahmir Rashad, Dan Hollaway and music by Lakey Inspired. /episode/index/show/thecdeffect/id/13743509

Thought...It's All In Your Head | Episode 057 03/22/2020

Thought...It's All In Your Head | Episode 057 Most of what’s occurring in our lives is related to the stories we are creating about the events and our relationship to them. It is practically impossible to view the world objectively given our dependance on the stories we tell and our commitment to see them through. In this episode, we explore the purpose of thought and direct correlation our thoughts have on the life we live. Featuring Ahmir Rashad, Viva Latrice, Dan Hollaway and music by Lakey Inspired. /episode/index/show/thecdeffect/id/13644155

On Beingness and True Freedom | Episode 056 03/15/2020

On Beingness and True Freedom | Episode 056 Perhaps the most important place we could be in any given moment, is fully present, in the here and now. In this episode, we explore what it takes to be truly free and how beingness allows us to experience ourselves in ways we’ve never imagined. Featuring Ahmir Rashad, Viva Latrice, Dan Hollaway and music by Lakey Inspired. /episode/index/show/thecdeffect/id/13548233

Live With Intention | Episode 055 02/23/2020

Live With Intention | Episode 055 Everything begins and ends with intention. Your intention, conscious or unconscious, dictates the course of your life and everything that occurs in and around it. In this episode, we explore how our lives take the shape of our intentions and how to mindfully adjust our behaviors, thoughts, attitude and decisions to achieve the goals we set in our lives. Featuring Ahmir Rashad, Viva Latrice and music by Lakey Inspired. /episode/index/show/thecdeffect/id/13257572

When the World Turns Blue | Episode 054 02/16/2020

When the World Turns Blue | Episode 054 As the saying goes, all of us are fighting invisible battles no one else can see. When the world we inhabit gets heavy, where do you turn? Who offers you support?In this episode, we explore the importance of having a community to lean on and why it’s important to open up and let others in. Featuring Ahmir Rashad, Viva Latrice and music by Lakey Inspired. /episode/index/show/thecdeffect/id/13167098

Countdown: Our Biggest Lessons of 2019 | Episode 053 12/29/2019

Countdown: Our Biggest Lessons of 2019 | Episode 053 The first year of this podcast has left all of us appreciative of the lessons we’ve learned about ourselves, our lives and our interactions with others. In this episode, we countdown the top 10 lessons we learned in 2019. Featuring Ahmir Rashad, Viva Latrice and music by Lakey Inspired. /episode/index/show/thecdeffect/id/12550421

Waiting On Time | Episode 052 12/22/2019

Waiting On Time | Episode 052 Time is difficult to measure. As we journey through our lives it often feels like we’re making headway on the conditions that weigh us down. The age-old adage: time heals all wounds, has convinced many of us to wait-and-see what time does; yet it seems time never had a say in that message. In this episode, we explore our journey to now and ponder what 2019 might have looked like if we had not joined time in the work. Featuring Ahmir Rashad, Viva Latrice and music by Lakey Inspired. /episode/index/show/thecdeffect/id/12492506

Sexual Attraction & Sexual Orientation | Episode 051 12/15/2019

Sexual Attraction & Sexual Orientation | Episode 051 Sexual attraction and orientation still remains a highly controversial topic in the majority of societies we occupy around the globe. In this episode, we explore our personal relationship with sexual orientation and how we’ve each attempted to adjust and make sense of our attractions. Featuring Ahmir Rashad, Viva Latrice, Author Akim Bryant, Brian Best and music by Lakey Inspired. /episode/index/show/thecdeffect/id/12401684

Sexual Energy | Episode 050 12/08/2019

Sexual Energy | Episode 050 Even though sexuality encompasses nearly every aspect of our being, it is at the same time the most discrete feature of our lives. But given the way media exploits sex for profit is our sexuality our own or part of a larger plan to dictate our behavior? In this episode, we explore the shame and guilt we attach to sexuality, porn and sexual expression. Featuring, Ahmir Rashad, Viva Latrice, Author: Akim Bryant, Brian Best and music by Lakey Inspired. /episode/index/show/thecdeffect/id/12314264

Losing My Religion | Episode 049 12/01/2019

Losing My Religion | Episode 049 Religion is complicated. Many people use it to connect with a power they feel is greater than themselves. In the mist of religion, however, you find people who are more concerned with the practice than the connection. In this episode, we explore the difference between religion and spirituality and why one should never be mistaken for the other. /episode/index/show/thecdeffect/id/12230351

Becoming Black| Episode 048 11/24/2019

Becoming Black| Episode 048 So much of our lives are spent navigating boxes. Race is one box that continues to trap us in identities that sever us at a heart level. Some of us have race thrust upon us at an early age, others, much later in life. But make no mistake, we all suffer as a result of it. In this episode, we explore the makings of race, how we’ve come to experience race and how difficult it is to escape race. Featuring Ahmir Rashad, Viva Latrice, Eric Peace and music by Lakey Inspired. /episode/index/show/thecdeffect/id/12150500

gender WARS | Episode 047 11/17/2019

gender WARS | Episode 047 Gender is controversial. And the roles we play within our gender assigned roles are even more controversial. In this unusually hyped episode, we attempt to explore gender diversity and the ways gender stereotypes trap people in harmful roles that do more harm than good. Featuring Ahmir Rashad, Viva Latrice, Cherise and music by Lakey Inspired. /episode/index/show/thecdeffect/id/12063074

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