The Center Cut

Michael and Dave only watch the beginning and ends of movies and TV seasons. The rest is chaos.

The 4th Annual Golden Gorilla Penis Awards 09/27/2023

The 4th Annual Golden Gorilla Penis Awards Michael and Dave close out the fourth season of the podcast with the 4th annual Golden Gorilla Penis Awards. This one hits hard because...well...you'll just have to listen in. Relive some of your favorite memories from the 4th season of the show, and then just don't forget that all four years worth of content is still there for your consumption. You are incredible and we love you. Thanks for listening! Send your feedback and good tidings to: Follow us on Intro/Outro music by /episode/index/show/thecentercut/id/28122146

Brother Bear w/Kaye 09/06/2023

Brother Bear w/Kaye Michael and Dave watched the first and last 15 minutes of the forgotten Disney film Brother Bear. OG fan and fellow-ish podcaster Kaye joined to quiz the guys on the middle. Nothing ever dies, bear penises are bigger than human penises, and Tina Turner + Phill Collins are old now. For this and more facts, you should probably stop reading and start listening. Thank you for that, by the way. Send your feedback and new episode ideas to: Follow us on Podcast Logo by Intro/Outro music by /episode/index/show/thecentercut/id/27939171

Abbott Elementary (Season 1) 08/23/2023

Abbott Elementary (Season 1) Michael and Dave watched the first and last episodes of the first season of the critically acclaimed mockumentary Abbott Elementary. The Reddit and Facebook admins in the Abbott community can fuck right off. After nearly 100 tv shows covered, we finally found one that can eat a bag of dicks. But that's okay, the show is still good! Michael loves Tariq and hates zoo breakups. Dave likes The Breakfast Club references and hates Ava. At least they agree on one thing--Gregory can get it. Thanks for listening! Try Patreon on a 7-day free trial for bonus content and more! Send your feedback and new episode ideas to: Follow us on Podcast Logo by Intro/Outro music by /episode/index/show/thecentercut/id/27797079

Dazed and Confused w/John Montague (That Rules Podcast) 08/09/2023

Dazed and Confused w/John Montague (That Rules Podcast) Alright, alright, alright! Michael and Dave watched the first and last 15 minutes of the cult classic Dazed and Confused. Comedian and fellow podcaster John Montague of That Rules podcast joined to quiz the guys on the middle. Their listeners keep getting younger and we just stay the same age. That's how that quote goes right? They wouldn't know; it was in the middle. The guys all get confused about the plot. Michael has some ideas in his head, Dave pays too close attention to the football coach's pants, and John lands joke after joke. The guys are doing what they do best--l-i-v-i-n. Thanks for listening! Join Patreon for bonus content and more! It's paused for the summer, but if we get enough patrons on board we'll start that sucker back up. Follow John Montague on , or check out his podcast Send your feedback and new episode ideas to: Follow us on Podcast Logo by Intro/Outro music by /episode/index/show/thecentercut/id/27671949

Ted Lasso (Season 3) 07/26/2023

Ted Lasso (Season 3) Michael and Dave watched the first and last episodes of the third (and probably final) season of the futbol fan favorite Ted Lasso. Good show, but not its best season, at least judging by the ends. Michael wants to see the old coach's balls. Dave makes fun of Michael's out of favor language. And most importantly, they both let the poopay flow out and into your ears. Thanks for listening! Try Patreon on a 7-day free trial for bonus content and more! Send your feedback and new episode ideas to: Follow us on Podcast Logo by Intro/Outro music by /episode/index/show/thecentercut/id/27537741

Sharknado w/Steve Coates (Bucket of Chum Podcast) 07/12/2023

Sharknado w/Steve Coates (Bucket of Chum Podcast) Michael and Dave watched the first and last 15 minutes of the absolutely ridiculous SyFy pulp Sharknado. Fellow podcaster Steve Coates of the Bucket of Chum podcast joined to quiz the guys on the middle. While unfortunately there were no bowls of butter on board, Steve was a breath of fresh air to guide the guys through the whirlwind of shitfuckery. Science is debated, bar waitresses are ogled, and literally nobody was harmed by a shark. Hell of a day! Thanks for listening! Join Patreon for bonus content and more! It's paused for the summer, but if we get enough patrons on board we'll start that sucker back up. Check out , or get eaten alive. Send your feedback and new episode ideas to: Follow us on Podcast Logo by Intro/Outro music by /episode/index/show/thecentercut/id/27412434

Fleabag (Season 2) 06/28/2023

Fleabag (Season 2) Michael and Dave watched the first and last episodes of the second season of the profound yet filthy Fleabag. Phoebe Waller-Bridge is still a sexy plank. No more Beaver man, and Arsehole Guy + Harry only make cameos. Instead this season is allll about the hot priest. And boy is he hot. The guys squabble about bangs and the honesty in Martin's grand speech, but they both agree that if anybody ever says "It'll pass" to them after they save "I love you" they will both spontaneously combust. Thanks for listening! Try Patreon on a 7-day free trial for bonus content and more! Send your feedback and new episode ideas to: Follow us on Podcast Logo by Intro/Outro music by /episode/index/show/thecentercut/id/27257187

Chinatown w/ Chris Harris (Harris Football Podcast) 06/14/2023

Chinatown w/ Chris Harris (Harris Football Podcast) Michael and Dave watched the first and last 15 minutes of the 1970's neo noir Chinatown. Author and fantasy football podcaster Chris Harris joined to quiz the guys on the middle. Audio quality went awry due to technology issues, but we still managed to tough it out. Family trees were debated, tuna was caught, and no eyes were shot out during the recording. Case closed! Thanks for listening! Join Patreon for bonus content and more! Check out and buy a novel or become a football master! Send your feedback and new episode ideas to: Follow us on Podcast Logo by Intro/Outro music by /episode/index/show/thecentercut/id/27102459

Fleabag (Season 1) 05/31/2023

Fleabag (Season 1) Michael and Dave watched the first and last episodes of the first season of the happily filthy show Fleabag. Phoebe Waller-Bridge is indeed a sexy plank. Michael struggles with his disdain for ancient British people and how it shades his viewing. David struggles with watching anything that isn't for dumb people. Yet somehow, spoiler alert, the guys both enjoy this very funny show about a flawed but entertaining character. And poor, poor Beaver man. Thanks for listening! Try Patreon on a 7-day free trial for bonus content and more! Send your feedback and new episode ideas to: Follow us on Podcast Logo by Intro/Outro music by /episode/index/show/thecentercut/id/26969319

American Beauty w/Camila 05/17/2023

American Beauty w/Camila Michael and Dave watched the first and last 15 minutes of the critically acclaimed but now blackmarked American Beauty. Camila of the podcast Bibliophiles at Home joined to quiz the guys on the middle. First on the docket: F Kevin Spacey to the moon. He's gone? Cool. While his creepiness in this thing made it harder than normal to get through, there was still some goodness to be found. Michael noticed all the roses. David noticed all the wrong things. And, Camila was just glad to never have to watch this thing again, despite it being in her top 10 movies previously. Thanks for listening! Join Patreon for bonus content and more! : A book club for introverts Send your feedback and new episode ideas to: Follow us on Podcast Logo by Intro/Outro music by /episode/index/show/thecentercut/id/26830014

BONUS: Patreon Sneak Peek - Ask Me Anything Part 4 05/10/2023

BONUS: Patreon Sneak Peek - Ask Me Anything Part 4 Michael and Dave wanted to share an episode that was previously exclusive to Patreon, recorded over a month ago. We hope you laugh, we hope you cry, but most of all, we hope you enjoy yourself for a fourth time. And please joint The Center Cult! Send your feedback and new episode ideas to Follow us on | Podcast Logo by Intro/Outro music by /episode/index/show/thecentercut/id/26656749

BEEF (Netflix) 04/26/2023

BEEF (Netflix) Michael and Dave watched the first and last episodes of the critically acclaimed (rightfully so) Netflix show BEEF. Michael hates George. Dave hates George's mom. They both like to stress eat like Danny. But that's not the only thing they agree on--they both love this show, despite it reminding them how depressing the world is. And the reason is youuuuuuu. Thanks for listening! Join Patreon for bonus content and more! Head over to and use the code CENTERCUT for 20% off almost everything SEXY Send your feedback and new episode ideas to: Follow us on Podcast Logo by Intro/Outro music by /episode/index/show/thecentercut/id/26622090

Butt Boy w/Bryan 04/12/2023

Butt Boy w/Bryan Michael and Dave watched the first and last 15 minutes of the independent assfest Butt Boy. Michael's brother and podcast music man Bryan joins the guys to quiz them on the middle. We said butthole/asshole/colon so many times--maybe even more than all our other episodes combined. This is not a drill. Bryan sees the merit, Dave hates pooping now, and Michael goes down in flames--all the butts weren't what they were cracked up to be. Thanks for listening! Join Patreon for bonus content and more! Send your feedback and new episode ideas to: Follow us on Podcast Logo by Intro/Outro music by /episode/index/show/thecentercut/id/26485500

Outer Banks (Season 3) 03/29/2023

Outer Banks (Season 3) Michael and Dave watched the first and last episodes of the third season of the attractive teen (who aren't really teens) Netflix show Outer Banks. Outer Banks made appearances in our first and second seasons, so we're glad to have it back! But not that glad since this season is outrageous. The CGI is bad in spots, Big John and Ward continue to be awful dads, most importantly the teens continue to make awful choices. At least we know JJ will always be there to make a crazy, rash decision for all of us. Thanks for listening! Join Patreon for bonus content and more! Send your feedback and new episode ideas to: Follow us on Podcast Logo by Intro/Outro music by /episode/index/show/thecentercut/id/26342691

Encanto w/Shoot the Flick 03/15/2023

Encanto w/Shoot the Flick Michael and Dave watched the first and last 15 minutes of the catchy-tune havin' Encanto. Frankie and Scott of Shoot the Flick join the guys to quiz them on the middle. There's a first time for everything as Michael can't quite perform under pressure. Dave crushes it...but we don't talk about Dave. And Frankie + Scott just can't believe how the guys manage to turn everything into something filthy--even Disney! Thanks for listening! Listen to Shoot the Flick: / Join Patreon for bonus content and more! Send your feedback and new episode ideas to: Follow us on Podcast Logo by Intro/Outro music by /episode/index/show/thecentercut/id/26203683

Ginny and Georgia (Season 1) 03/01/2023

Ginny and Georgia (Season 1) Michael and Dave watched the first and last episodes of the first season of Ginny and Georgia. Dave thinks all the characters are jerks, Michael spends more time than he would like discussing the teen sex scene, and they both would go down for gambling in New Orleans with Georgia. Emphasis on the 'go down.' Thanks for listening! Join Patreon for bonus content and more! Send your feedback and new episode ideas to: Follow us on Podcast Logo by Intro/Outro music by /episode/index/show/thecentercut/id/26046147

High Fidelity w/Vinyl Reckoning 02/15/2023

High Fidelity w/Vinyl Reckoning Michael and Dave watched the first and last 15 minutes of lyric-generating High Fidelity. Matt and Stacy of Vinyl Reckoning join the guys to quiz them on the middle. Michael is flabbergasted at all the songs that his favorite bands created based around this movie. Dave is just there for Jack Black. Matt thinks Rob Gordon is a piece of shit. Stacy cries. And Michael Bolton is back on his feet again. Thanks for listening! Follow Vinyl Reckoning: / / Join Patreon for bonus content and more! Send your feedback and new episode ideas to: Follow us on Podcast Logo by Intro/Outro music by /episode/index/show/thecentercut/id/25920813

Over the Garden Wall 02/01/2023

Over the Garden Wall Michael and Dave watched the first and last episodes of the ever-kooky Over the Garden Wall, as suggested by friend of the show Vikki. The guys both agree Greg is the best. His pants are always overflowing with candy, he does cool things by accident, and always knows what to say (even if it doesn't make any sense in the moment). Mixtapes are discussed, theories are crafted, and horrible frog names fill the air. THAT'S a rock fact! Thanks for listening! Join Patreon for bonus content and more! Send your feedback and new episode ideas to: Follow us on Podcast Logo by Intro/Outro music by /episode/index/show/thecentercut/id/25756107

The Shawshank Redemption w/Rob Stant 01/18/2023

The Shawshank Redemption w/Rob Stant Michael and Dave watched the first and last 15 minutes of the so-called greatest movie of all time, The Shawshank Redemption. Comedian Rob Stant joins the guys to quiz them on the middle. Michael has some interesting theories about Rita Hayworth, Dave is obsessed with Andy's crappy boat, and Rob just can't stop referencing Family Guy. Brooks was here. Thanks for listening! Follow Rob Stant on: / / Join Patreon for bonus content and more! Send your feedback and new episode ideas to: Follow us on Podcast Logo by Intro/Outro music by /episode/index/show/thecentercut/id/25608681

BONUS: The Center Cult Sneak Peek 1 01/14/2023

BONUS: The Center Cult Sneak Peek 1 Michael and Dave watched nothing. But here is a sneak peek of a recent chat, exclusive to Patreon! Get Center Chats, The Center Consumed, voting, The Center Cache, early access, shout-outs, and surprises! Help support the show that supports your boring days with weird shit. Please and thank you! Thanks for listening! Join Patreon for bonus content and more! Send your feedback and new episode ideas to: Follow us on Podcast Logo by Intro/Outro music by /episode/index/show/thecentercut/id/25607175

Wednesday (Netflix) 01/04/2023

Wednesday (Netflix) Michael and Dave watched the first and last episodes of the Netflix Tim Burton sensation Wednesday. Michael is fascinated by Ortega's wild BJ-Gods vision posture and thinks Crackstone looks like the Quaker Oats guy. Dave is obsessed with Thing, and Luis Guzman, and both the guys hate the Hyde. Oh, and fuck pilgrims! Thanks for listening! Join Patreon for bonus content and more! Send your feedback and new episode ideas to: Follow us on Podcast Logo by Intro/Outro music by /episode/index/show/thecentercut/id/25473540

A Christmas Story Christmas 12/21/2022

A Christmas Story Christmas Michael and Dave watched the first and last 15 minutes of the HBO Max legacy sequel A Christmas Story Christmas. Its a Christmas extravaganza! Wives Ashley and Emily joined the show for the second holiday season to quiz the guys on the middle that they didn't watch. Peter is back as Ralphie, but older. So much older. The jokes are made for the same audience, and there are callbacks, but only weird ones, and not the ones you'd expect or want. Oh, also, F Randy, and Merry Christmas! Thanks for listening! Join Patreon for bonus content and more! Send your feedback and new episode ideas to: Follow us on Podcast Logo by Intro/Outro music by /episode/index/show/thecentercut/id/25360455

The Center Cult Announcement 11/30/2022

The Center Cult Announcement Michael and Dave watched nothing. They are here to announce the grand opening of The Center Cult Patreon! Center Chats, The Center Consumed, voting, The Center Cache, early access, shout-outs, and surprises! Help support the show that supports your boring days with weird shit. Please and thank you! Thanks for listening! Join Patreon for bonus content and more! Send your feedback and new episode ideas to: Follow us on Podcast Logo by Intro/Outro music by /episode/index/show/thecentercut/id/25160973

The 3rd Annual Golden Gorilla Penis Awards 11/23/2022

The 3rd Annual Golden Gorilla Penis Awards Michael and Dave close out the third season of the podcast with the 3rd annual Golden Gorilla Penis Awards. So many choices, so little time. Share your favorite memories from the third year and buckle up for another insane new season coming your way in three weeks! And stay tuned for an important announcement episode next week. We gon' ride, ride, ride, ride, ride. We truly do appreciate all of your support throughout the year and can't wait to put more stuff in your ears. Thanks for listening! Send your feedback and new episode ideas to: Follow us on | Podcast Logo by Intro/Outro music by /episode/index/show/thecentercut/id/25073676

CENTER CHAT: Ted Lasso (Season 2) - Diamond Dogs Draft 11/16/2022

CENTER CHAT: Ted Lasso (Season 2) - Diamond Dogs Draft Michael and Dave watched the first and last episodes of the second season of Ted Lasso. Go check out the full episode if you haven't and then decide: Who would be in YOUR Diamond Dogs crew? CENTER CHAT! Send your feedback and new episode ideas to: Follow us on | Podcast Logo by Intro/Outro music by /episode/index/show/thecentercut/id/24986133

Ted Lasso (Season 2) 11/09/2022

Ted Lasso (Season 2) Michael and Dave came back to England and watched the first and last episodes of the second season of Ted Lasso. The guys don't always agree, but today they definitely concur that Nate is a grey haired, rotten faced, no good little piece of poo poo. They want to buy his childhood home, shit in all of the rooms, burn it to the ground, and then poop on the ashes. Oh, and RIP Earl. Thanks for listening! Send your feedback and new episode ideas to Follow us on | Podcast Logo by Intro/Outro music by /episode/index/show/thecentercut/id/24938133

CENTER CHAT: The Nightmare Before Christmas - Halloween Vs. Christmas 11/02/2022

CENTER CHAT: The Nightmare Before Christmas - Halloween Vs. Christmas Michael and Dave watched the first and last 15 minutes of The Nightmare Before Christmas and friend of the show Cindy quizzed them on the middle. Go check out the full episode if you haven't and then decide: Which holiday is better--Halloween or Chrismas? CENTER CHAT! Send your feedback and new episode ideas to: Follow us on | Podcast Logo by Intro/Outro music by /episode/index/show/thecentercut/id/24827370

The Nightmare Before Christmas w/Cindy 10/26/2022

The Nightmare Before Christmas w/Cindy What's this?! Michael and Dave watched the first and last 15 minutes of the holiday cult class The Nightmare Before Christmas. Creator of the podcast logo, Cindy, joined the guys to quiz them on the middle. There are tender lumplings everywhere, but no sightings of Sally's asshole. While she's akin to a Weezer song, no song could ever live up to 'Icicles on my Twat.' Happy Halloween, and thanks for listening! Check out Tea and Gemstones podcast: Send your feedback and new episode ideas to Follow us on | Podcast Logo by Intro/Outro music by /episode/index/show/thecentercut/id/24768222

CENTER CHAT: Ted Lasso (Season 1) - Is Jason Sudeikis Hot? 10/19/2022

CENTER CHAT: Ted Lasso (Season 1) - Is Jason Sudeikis Hot? Michael and Dave watched the first and last episodes of the first season of Ted Lasso. Go check out the full episode if you haven't and then decide: Is Jason Sudeikis hot? CENTER CHAT! Send your feedback and new episode ideas to: Follow us on | Podcast Logo by Intro/Outro music by /episode/index/show/thecentercut/id/24672117

Ted Lasso (Season 1) 10/12/2022

Ted Lasso (Season 1) Michael and Dave watched the first and last episodes of the first season of the Emmy-slaying Ted Lasso. He's here, he's there, the guys are both fans, Roy Kent! Dave's a fan of the humor; Michael's a fan of the uplifting nature, and they both agree that Roy's penis is a rectangle. Thanks for listening! Send your feedback and new episode ideas to Follow us on | Podcast Logo by Intro/Outro music by /episode/index/show/thecentercut/id/24628743

The Center Cut

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