The Lurid Family

A podcast about the real VC Andrews, Terrible Ghostwriters, and Patriarchal Horrors In the Deep Dark Woods

The Backwards Bechdel Chokehold 05/26/2018

The Backwards Bechdel Chokehold Alternate Titles for this Episode: /episode/index/show/theluridfamily/id/6636915

Pieces of Sylvia's Body 05/11/2018

Pieces of Sylvia's Body Your intrepid recappers return! Jules has performed a great sacrifice for all of us, by reading Whitefern, the revolting "sequel" to the V.C. Andrews masterwork of southern gothic horror, My Sweet Audrina. Though the book nearly destroyed her health and her sanity, Jules persisted. Much like Dawn, this is basically a celebration of misogyny, objectification, and at the end of the day, it's another book about boobs. /episode/index/show/theluridfamily/id/6583337

17 The Flowers That Bloom in the Spring 04/10/2018

17 The Flowers That Bloom in the Spring It's time for Flowers in the Attic, Buttercups. /episode/index/show/theluridfamily/id/6466546

16 - Did You Miss Me 03/25/2018

16 - Did You Miss Me Did You Miss Me? - /episode/index/show/theluridfamily/id/6405718

15. We Have Always Lived in the Attic 03/14/2018

15. We Have Always Lived in the Attic In which Rachel experiences a spike in ADHD, defying Jules’ attempts to get her to just start the recap already. Eventually your intrepid hosts just lean into the mood, and wander down memory lane to discuss the past, present, and future of The Lurid Family. /episode/index/show/theluridfamily/id/6363329

14. The Absence of Jillian 03/06/2018

14. The Absence of Jillian In which your not particularly humble recappers planned to get us all the way to Winterhaven, but were hijacked! By a handsome wolf in a bespoke suit, the rare man with magic hair, who's quest to dominate and control his environment reached right out of the text and grabbed us! Is it because he is a Time Magician? No! He didn't even need to use magic to pull us into his Toy Kingdom. We are talking about Anthony Townsend Tatterton, King of the Toymakers? Dangerous predator? Secretly vulnerable soft touch who /episode/index/show/theluridfamily/id/6337554

13. Isn't It Necromantic? 02/28/2018

13. Isn't It Necromantic? It's a round-table! Hooray! /episode/index/show/theluridfamily/id/6309923

12. Failing The Bechdel Test - A Tribute to Troy 02/20/2018

12. Failing The Bechdel Test - A Tribute to Troy OK, we actually did end up passing the Bechdel-Watson test because we both have names and at least SOME of this episode isn’t 100% devoted to the Best Boyfriend in Literature, the one, the only, Troy Langdon Tatterton. Take a note, ghostwriter, his middle name is not “Landon”, please at least pretend to care about these things. /episode/index/show/theluridfamily/id/6280070

11. Of Late, I Think of Farthy 02/14/2018

11. Of Late, I Think of Farthy We are through the looking glass, Zolta Nation! That's right, it's Dark Angel time. Join us as we introduce Jillian and Tony Tatterton, and just as importantly, Farthinggale Manor. Home at last, like we never said goodbye, we think, like another orphan from American literature, we're gonna like it here. /episode/index/show/theluridfamily/id/6261248

10B. Heaven Doesn't Live Here Anymore: The End of the 1st Casteel book, by V.C. Andrews 02/06/2018

10B. Heaven Doesn't Live Here Anymore: The End of the 1st Casteel book, by V.C. Andrews Listeners, we have reached the end of the first book of the Casteel. Join us as our heroine takes us full circle back to the Willies. Logan is back and as horrible as we told you he'd be, rivaling Cal for the title of grossest fake nice guy. Fanny is there and she has a bombshell to drop! Also, Rachel delves into her obsession with the Babysitter's Club Club podcast, and speculates that the BSC universe is the missing piece of an Andrews Universe puzzle and *dun dun dun* vice versa. Raise a glass to V.C. An /episode/index/show/theluridfamily/id/6231819

Bonus! America's Next Top Model - VC Andrews Edition 02/02/2018

Bonus! America's Next Top Model - VC Andrews Edition Welcome to our first FanFicFriday, which we hope we will manage to make a semi-weekly minisode. Taking a break from recapping the Casteel series, we put all the books in a blender and imagine the matches from hell that could arise. Heaven, Cathy, Vera, Fanny, and Audrina all compete for the prize! But there can be only one America’s Next Top Model! /episode/index/show/theluridfamily/id/6217776

10A. The Ceramic Fraudulent Frog of Candlewick County 01/30/2018

10A. The Ceramic Fraudulent Frog of Candlewick County Join us as we reach the end of Heaven's time in Candlewick. This is our last episode in the ceramics nightmare of Kitty's house and it's a doozy. Justice for Chuckles! /episode/index/show/theluridfamily/id/6204340

9. Veal Cordon Bleu at The Midnight Sun 01/24/2018

9. Veal Cordon Bleu at The Midnight Sun The hills are alive! And they don't have eyes this time! We return to Heaven's life in Candlewick, and we near the end of the first book in the Casteel series by the one and only real V.C. Andrews. Join us for the recap, a discussion of the reality of Magic Hair, some major misanthropy, real life families that are more Andrewsesque than Andrews herself, and an excoriation of one Calhoun Dennison, possibly the worst man in the entire Andrews canon. /episode/index/show/theluridfamily/id/6183264

8.5 Bonus Bits of Yesterday 01/18/2018

8.5 Bonus Bits of Yesterday Bonus lightning round for the VC Andrews drinking game/bingo challenge as we run through a little Heaven housekeeping in preparation for next week's return to the Casteel series. Consider it a pre-game. /episode/index/show/theluridfamily/id/6164288

8 Spoilers Of Yesterday 01/16/2018

8 Spoilers Of Yesterday We decided that Star Wars is essentially a lurid family saga, and therefore relevant. Also, we really wanted to talk about Star Wars. Rachel mistakes the podcast for a therapy session with jokes! Jules explains the tragedy of Zelda Fitzgerald, and Rachel tells you the entire plot of 1989 Patrick Dempsey classic, Loverboy. Carrie Fisher is in it so that makes it on topic. Also, we discuss why 70s slasher Killer’s Moon is secretly a subversive feminist masterpiece, what VC Andrews would have done with inter /episode/index/show/theluridfamily/id/6156031

7. Pa's Boots Were Made For Knockin' 01/09/2018

7. Pa's Boots Were Made For Knockin' In which Fanny remains fabulous, Jane throws up all over an entire restaurant and all over Miss Deale’s suit! Starvation! Peril! Eating squirrels! Pa returns to sell his kids at a discount because he’s not good with numbers, and we finally get to *Kitty Time*. Get your drinks ready because Kitty Time waits for no one. /episode/index/show/theluridfamily/id/6130440

6. He Put In Me A Baby 01/02/2018

6. He Put In Me A Baby In which we head back to the Willies and Heaven’s life gets even harder. Syphilis! Death! Madness! Chicken theft! Grocery Theft! Naked Fanny spinning in circles of her own beauty and power! Also some Logan and Heaven stuff. /episode/index/show/theluridfamily/id/6108725

5. A Dollanganger Christmas! 12/22/2017

5. A Dollanganger Christmas! In which we take a break from the privation of Heaven, put on our fanciest nighties, and indulge in the many Christmases of the Dollanganger series. Champagne fountains! Shopping montages! Voyeurism! Diamonds and furs, and terrible mothers, oh my! Music: Silent Night (Dark Piano version), Dance of the Sugarplum Fairy, and God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen by Myuuji http://soundcloud.com/myuu Excerpts from The Nutcracker Suite sourced from The European Archive Away in a Manger - public domain Carol of the Bell /episode/index/show/theluridfamily/id/6081798

4. Spider Fingers 12/09/2017

4. Spider Fingers The episode that nearly killed your humble recappers, in which we finish the horrors contained in the terrible ghostwritten fake VC Andrews book, Dawn, and leave this gross old man behind for the forseeable future. There is moaning and brother sister kissing and the great Clara Sue Cutler, to speak for us all. /episode/index/show/theluridfamily/id/6027252

3. If There Be Spoilers 11/26/2017

3. If There Be Spoilers Rachel stomps her foot and yells like a young Carrie Dollanganger that NO! We cannot keep recapping Dawn as planned! Dawn SUCKS! /episode/index/show/theluridfamily/id/6000947

1. Bangers and Whammers 11/17/2017

1. Bangers and Whammers Join Rachel and Jules for a trip through the twisted gothic fairytale horrors of the original VC Andrews. All the trigger and spoiler warnings apply. This mess is disturbing. We, however, are pretty funny. /episode/index/show/theluridfamily/id/6000948

2. Bosoms in the Moonlight 11/12/2017

2. Bosoms in the Moonlight In which we detail why the ghostwriter is terrible and so, so, gross. We hate him. His heroines are terrible, and everyone should know that he is not actually VC Andrews no matter what trademark law has done with her name. /episode/index/show/theluridfamily/id/6000950

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