The Man Rules

Live with intention. Build connection. Create a more meaningful life. Host Dan Griffin shows you how, through funny and insightful conversations about The Man Rules — those often-unconscious expectations that shape what it means to be a “real man" in the 21st century. It’s a must-listen for anyone seeking to live a more authentic life.

That’s All Folks. 11/08/2019

That’s All Folks. Welp. Here we are. The final episode of The Man Rules podcast. Dan and Andrea (the show’s producer) take the opportunity to reminisce, reflect, and ruminate on what might be next... /episode/index/show/themanrules/id/11958674

What Men Would Tell You... About Having All The Answers 11/06/2019

What Men Would Tell You... About Having All The Answers Dan and Allen don't have all the answers, but they do have their own experiences in learning to let go of the need to know, and they share those with you in order to help you improve your relationships. /episode/index/show/themanrules/id/11939450

Childhood Heroes and Personal Mythologies 10/24/2019

Childhood Heroes and Personal Mythologies All stories we relate to are based either on our wishes or on our fears. Sometimes--or maybe even often--both. That's what makes this week's episode with friend of the show Rick Belden such a powerful one. Rick leads Dan through a fascinating discussion about the ways in which we internalize our favorite childhood stories to develop personal mythologies and use them to guide the ways we show up in the world. /episode/index/show/themanrules/id/11768762

Coping with Changing Gender Expectations 10/09/2019

Coping with Changing Gender Expectations This week, friend of the show Dr. Michael Levittan is back to help us sort through the many changes in our expectations of men and women over the years, and how psychology and psychotherapy have played a role in helping shape and guide those changes. /episode/index/show/themanrules/id/11582855

All Good Things Must Come to an End 10/01/2019

All Good Things Must Come to an End After more than two years of operation, we have made the difficult decision to end production of The Man Rules podcast. So, this week Dan's solo episode--his last solo episode--is about what it means to embrace change. /episode/index/show/themanrules/id/11458895

How to Stay Sober AF 09/23/2019

How to Stay Sober AF Thanks to Duke Rumely and his organization S.AF.E (Sober As F$@# Entertainment), people in recovery can safely attend events that otherwise may have triggered their addictions. The organization's goal is to create "sober safe zones" at sporting events, concerts, and other social gatherings. In this episode, he talks with Dan about the importance of staving off loneliness and boredom in maintaining sobriety and about the power of community. /episode/index/show/themanrules/id/11364887

What Men Would Tell You... About Winning 09/17/2019

What Men Would Tell You... About Winning In this episode, Dan and Allen talk about The Winning Rule, a chapter from their forthcoming book, What Men Would Tell You If They Weren't Too Busy Watching TV. They break down the ways in which the Winning Rule affects relationships, and show us how we can become more conscious of The Winning Rule and recognize when it's hijacked our reactions and behaviors. /episode/index/show/themanrules/id/11292815

Leggo my Ego 09/11/2019

Leggo my Ego Dr. Lou Cox has studied the ego for decades. He joins Dan to talk about his work and his new book, Ego: The Ghost in Your Machinery. He and Dan talk about the male ego and how men thrive and suffer as a result of their dances with the ego. Ultimately, Cox says, while we cannot overcome the ego we can step aside from it and move toward our native, and more authentic and vulnerable, self. The more awareness the more you can see those parts and make different decisions about who and how you want to be. /episode/index/show/themanrules/id/11213282

Support the Podcast 09/03/2019

Support the Podcast his week, Dan's back with an update on our makeshift pledge drive. We hear from Noah, a longtime listener who has pledged his support, and Dan makes a case for you all to be like Noah. (If you can.) /episode/index/show/themanrules/id/11110973

Loving Like You Mean It 08/27/2019

Loving Like You Mean It In this episode, Dr. Ron Frederick, psychologist and author of "Loving Like You Mean It" breaks down the four basic attachment styles, explains where they come from (childhood, of course), and how to use emotional mindfulness to build stronger, healthier and happier relationships. He also offers up a simple, four-step approach to help you break free from old habits, befriend your emotional experience, and develop new ways of relating. /episode/index/show/themanrules/id/11018696

Is Masculinity Toxic? 08/12/2019

Is Masculinity Toxic? Randy Flood, author of the best article on toxic masculinity we've ever read (as well as several other books and articles about men's issues) is on the podcast this week to set the record straight on what toxic masculinity is, and what it isn't. He helps us understand that traits that are considered "masculine" aren't toxic, but that the rigid adherence to those traits in all situations, even when they are damaging to self or others, is. /episode/index/show/themanrules/id/10868481

Help! 08/05/2019

Help! We've been producing episodes of The Man Rules podcast every week for almost 2.5 years now. It's been an honor to provide this for free to our listeners as a resource for those in recovery, and those who just want to live more conscious lives. /episode/index/show/themanrules/id/10774841

Sugar Addiction and Compulsive Overeating 07/30/2019

Sugar Addiction and Compulsive Overeating In this episode, Andrea (producer extraordinaire of our podcast) talks vulnerably with Dan about her own struggles with an addiction to sugar and other disordered eating behaviors. She discusses the ups and downs of recovery from an issue that many don't understand and yet is an epidemic in this country. /episode/index/show/themanrules/id/10703792

What is Love? 07/22/2019

What is Love? Psychiatrist Michael McGee joins Dan this week to talk about love as both a practice and a guiding principle. And, this is not mere navel-gazing, people. Dr. McGee breaks it down into a series of practical steps to being more connected, more purpose-driven, and more fulfilled by building a more loving presence. /episode/index/show/themanrules/id/10619402

What Men Would Tell You...About Sex 07/17/2019

What Men Would Tell You...About Sex This week, Allen Berger is back to help Dan shed some light on the thing that often prevents men from experiencing real intimacy through sex--fear. Specifically, the fear of violating the man rule pertaining to sex. /episode/index/show/themanrules/id/10553864

Doing 'The Work' with Byron Katie 07/09/2019

Doing 'The Work' with Byron Katie Dan talks to Byron Katie about 'The Work" that it takes to wake up to reality, let go of negative perceptions about yourself and your place in the world and to stop judging - others and yourself. /episode/index/show/themanrules/id/10458104

Let's Talk About Sex 07/03/2019

Let's Talk About Sex In this episode, Dan gives a short talk on what it might mean for men if we all started having more earnest conversations about sex, reflecting on what we want from it, what we need from it, and what it means to us personally. How can we move beyond some of the unhealthy and unrealistic expectations The Water sets up for us, and define our own sexuality. /episode/index/show/themanrules/id/10397840

A Deep Dive with a Stay-at-Home Dad 06/25/2019

A Deep Dive with a Stay-at-Home Dad Today, in honor of Father's Month, Nate Brewer talks to Dan about his experiences as a stay-at-home Dad. He explains both how he made the decision to stay home with his kids, and how people tend to react to the revelation that parenting is his full-time job. /episode/index/show/themanrules/id/10291961

What Men Would Tell You... About Their Fathers 06/17/2019

What Men Would Tell You... About Their Fathers When we become fathers, so many of our choices are reactions to how our fathers raised us. We often either fall in line with his expectations, or rebel against them. Either way, we aren't really making our own choices, based on who we most want to be. /episode/index/show/themanrules/id/10186577

Gay Men and Their Fathers 06/10/2019

Gay Men and Their Fathers In honor of both Father's Month and Pride Month, we're replaying this episode from 2018, featuring the late Tim Clausen. /episode/index/show/themanrules/id/10114307

Fathers Failing Forward 06/07/2019

Fathers Failing Forward This week, Dan talks about what it's like to fail sometimes at being a father and the challenges of accepting that failure and forgiving himself. And, the challenge of being truly willing to truly be okay with doing things imperfectly. /episode/index/show/themanrules/id/10092986

Doing It, Consciously 05/29/2019

Doing It, Consciously When you have sex (or masturbate) do you have a goal in mind? Do you approach each sexual encounter with an unconscious strategy toward the endgame? (C'MON OF COURSE YOU DO.) Cam Fraser, a certified sexologist, Yoga teacher, and pioneer of conscious sexuality, is here to explain that by taking a goal-oriented approach to sex, you might be selling yourself, and/or your partner short. /episode/index/show/themanrules/id/9968219

What Men Would Tell You...About Being Cool 05/21/2019

What Men Would Tell You...About Being Cool In this episode, Dan and Allen Berger explain what women need to know about the ways in which "The Cool Rule" affects their man and their relationship with him. As a caring partner, how can women help the men in their lives finally chip away the ice, and live as the man he is, rather than as the man he thinks everyone wants him to be? /episode/index/show/themanrules/id/9873821

The Unspoken Legacy of Emotional Trauma 05/14/2019

The Unspoken Legacy of Emotional Trauma It was a true honor to have Claudia Black, a pioneer in the study of the impact alcoholism has on families, join us on The Man Rules podcast. /episode/index/show/themanrules/id/9781013

What to Do When You're Sick of It 05/06/2019

What to Do When You're Sick of It Listeners of The Man Rules podcasts tend to be types who, in one way or another, want to live better. That takes work. A lot of work. Constant, daily, continuous work. And work--well--sometimes it sucks. Although the work we're talking about on our show comes with many invaluable rewards, you can still get burnt out by sometimes. That's why, as Dan explains in this solo episode, it's important to give yourself a break, in order to prevent yourself from giving up. /episode/index/show/themanrules/id/9674456

Daddy Download: Awesome Dads Know Their Story 04/29/2019

Daddy Download: Awesome Dads Know Their Story In this episode, Dan explains why it’s important for each Dad to know his story. How did your father shape your ideas about what it means to be a Dad? Which of his examples do you want to take with you as you build your own story, and which would you rather leave behind? Giving some thought to these questions will allow you to consciously choose how you show up day-to-day in your child’s life, rather than simply acting out a script written for you by our culture and your past. /episode/index/show/themanrules/id/9579806

What is Sex For? 04/22/2019

What is Sex For? Have you ever asked yourself that question? Neither "procreation" or "fun and pleasure" are satisfactory answers. Why, in an era where we can access porn within seconds, have sex toys discretely delivered to our doorsteps, and even order a sex robot, do we still tend to desire sex with other humans. The answer, it seems, is intimacy. Alex Katehakis of The Center for Healthy Sex explains this in more in this episode. /episode/index/show/themanrules/id/9491858

What Men Would Tell You... About Fighting 04/17/2019

What Men Would Tell You... About Fighting As a kid, you probably wanted to be cool. And if you were a boy, being cool meant being tough. Being tough meant being able to fight and win. If you weren’t tough, you immediately felt inadequate. But, as with every Man Rule, there’s a positive side. The Fight Rule can inspire men to protect and defend the people, institutions, and values that we hold dear. In this episode, Allen and Dan talk about their conflicting feelings of fear, shame, and pride in their own personal histories with fighting. /episode/index/show/themanrules/id/9424157

Money Matters: Talking Finance with Marty McAlpin 04/09/2019

Money Matters: Talking Finance with Marty McAlpin Money. Everybody wants it; nobody wants to talk about it. Except Dan, of course, and his friend and financial advisor Marty McAlpin. In this episode, they give an overview of various money disorders and help us increase our financial vocabulary. /episode/index/show/themanrules/id/9330620

Why Men Fight 04/02/2019

Why Men Fight Dan talks today about The Man Rule that tells men they must fight--for survival, for respect, and sometimes just for the hell of it--and how that affects their self-perception and their relationships. /episode/index/show/themanrules/id/9243728

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