Those Who Can't Watch, Listen

Welcome to "Those Who Can't Watch, Listen" - the podcast where one person who loves horror (that's Angie!) tells one who doesn't (that's Kelsey!) a detailed summary of exactly what happens in all kinds of popular horror films. Do you hate watching horror movies but want to know what happens in them? This is the podcast for you! Thanks for listening. (Or not!)

35 - The Blair Witch Project 05/06/2021

35 - The Blair Witch Project 🎵 Shake, shake, shake! Shake, shake, shake! Shake your camera! For this horror movie. Yeah! 🎵 Welcome to this week's episode about THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT, the documentary-style horror movie that spurred many other documentary-style horror movies. Faux-umentary? We don't know, but listen in to find out what happened - or didn't happen - in the woods in this 90s classic. /episode/index/show/thosewhocantwatchlisten/id/19009409

34 - Leprechaun 04/22/2021

34 - Leprechaun Top o' the mornin' to ya! We're coming at you with a St. Patrick's Day episode in April, but you know what? The spirit of St. Patrick lives on all year long. Check out this episode to find out how Jennifer Aniston got her start as a bratty Valley girl as well as how Warwick Davis killed (literally) his role of the Leprechaun. Is this movie good? No. But was it worth the watch? Also no. JUST KIDDING. It was delightful. Thanks for listening! Or not! /episode/index/show/thosewhocantwatchlisten/id/18818495

33 - The Invisible Man (2020) 04/08/2021

33 - The Invisible Man (2020) Hello! Can you see us? It's time for another episode of "Those Who Can't Watch, Listen"! Elizabeth Moss plays the part of a terrified ex-girlfriend whose boyfriend may or may not be haunting her after his suicide. Or is he invisible? You'll have to listen (or not) to find out!! /episode/index/show/thosewhocantwatchlisten/id/18645104

32 - Final Destination 03/25/2021

32 - Final Destination Have you ever wondered if death was coming for you because you were supposed to die in a fiery plane crash? No? Just these late 90s/early 00s teens in this week's movie, "Final Destination"? /episode/index/show/thosewhocantwatchlisten/id/18465932

31 - Freaky (with Vince Vaughn) 03/11/2021

31 - Freaky (with Vince Vaughn) GUESS WHAT! We got NEW MICS, and WOW, do we ever sound better. Tune in this week to hear us sound crisp and profesh talking about the Freaky Friday-esque horror movie "Freaky" starring Vince Vaughn and Kathryn Newton. Were you ever wondering, wow, what would it be like if a serial killer swapped bodies with a teenage girl? Then this is the movie for you! Thanks for listening (OR NOT!) /episode/index/show/thosewhocantwatchlisten/id/18279797

30 - The Thing (1982) 02/25/2021

30 - The Thing (1982) WE'RE BAAAAAAAACK!! (Think of this as the quote from "The Poltergeist," episode 15 of this podcast if you need a reference.) /episode/index/show/thosewhocantwatchlisten/id/18086444

29 - The Curse of La Llorona 02/29/2020

29 - The Curse of La Llorona Hola! We're coming at you today with a short but sweet-ish episode about a crying lady ("Llorando" in Spanish! Hence the title!) who killed her kids. YIKES. Listen in to see why she keeps cryin' after that. Thanks for listening! Or not! /episode/index/show/thosewhocantwatchlisten/id/13347338

28 - Parasite 02/14/2020

28 - Parasite We're back! Holiday break is finally over, and we have a new episode just in time for Bong Joon Ho's HISTORIC Oscar win. Is "Parasite" a horror movie? Depends on how you feel about rich people, I guess. /episode/index/show/thosewhocantwatchlisten/id/13148891

27 - Stephen King's Doctor Sleep 12/06/2019

27 - Stephen King's Doctor Sleep Don’t “sleep” on this one, listeners-or-nots! Stephen King’s novel-turned-movie “Doctor Sleep” was a WINNER in both Angie & Kelsey’s book(s). Are you a kid who has special powers? Then WATCH OUT for Rose the Hat & listen to this episode to learn how to defeat her! Or just listen so you can have a quick lil summary of an amazing Stephen King adaptation. It might not be like the book really at all, but it sure is great. /episode/index/show/thosewhocantwatchlisten/id/12302429

26 - Halloween (1978) 11/08/2019

26 - Halloween (1978) Listen (or not), we know it's not Halloween anymore. Life happens, time flies, all that jazz. But if you still want to hear about Jamie Lee Curtis' debut movie with Michael Myers (not THAT Michael Myers), then listen in even if it is post-Halloween. Do do do do (that's us singing the theme). /episode/index/show/thosewhocantwatchlisten/id/11956553

25 - Rosemary's Baby 11/08/2019

25 - Rosemary's Baby WHOA BABY, this week's episode is all about Mia Farrow's masterpiece (we refuse to acknowledge the RP name) "Rosemary's Baby." Angie had never seen it before, but MAN, what a treat. Listen in to hear about how one woman's weirdo neighbors gaslit her into thinking she was insane and definitely not living next door to a satanic cult! Kind of typical! Is Rosemary insane, tho? Maybe. Is the dad from "Beethoven" in this movie? Yes! /episode/index/show/thosewhocantwatchlisten/id/11956514

24 - Stephen King's Carrie (1976) 10/03/2019

24 - Stephen King's Carrie (1976) Hi! /episode/index/show/thosewhocantwatchlisten/id/11503919

23 - IT Chapter Two (with a small IT from 2017 recap) 09/20/2019

23 - IT Chapter Two (with a small IT from 2017 recap) Hi! Are you jealous of everyone who seems to know everything about clowns, spiders, and red balloons? Then this episode is for you! Learn about Pennywise the Clown, his legacy (sort of), and the Losers Club. Get ready for IT CHAPTER TWO! With a small appearance by IT CHAPTER ONE! Was it called chapter one? Anyway, it's a recap of IT from 2017. /episode/index/show/thosewhocantwatchlisten/id/11325827

22 - Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark 09/06/2019

22 - Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark If you're like Angie, you read those books COVER TO COVER and even hid them under your bed because you were afraid the terrifying illustrations might come to life in the night, right? No, just her? Okay. Listen to see how terribly they transformed this PA town to the (sort of) 1960s and how they interpreted these short stories into something, well, less of a collection of short stories. Guillermo del Toro doesn't disappoint! (Well, maybe it's like 10% disappointing) /episode/index/show/thosewhocantwatchlisten/id/11146526

21 - Signs (by M. Night Shyamalan) 08/30/2019

21 - Signs (by M. Night Shyamalan) Hello! We all know Mel Gibson is terrible, but honestly, let's just forget that for a good hour and hear about how everything's connected in M. Night Shyamalan's "Signs." It's a great movie and Angie might cry while retelling the story of Joaquin Phoenix, MG, Abigail Breslin, and Rory Culkin + aliens. Or are they aliens? (They're aliens.) /episode/index/show/thosewhocantwatchlisten/id/11054210

20 - The Silence of the Lambs 08/22/2019

20 - The Silence of the Lambs Hello, Clarice! That’s a line from this week’s movie, “The Silence of the Lambs” - which you most likely won’t learn from listening to this episode, so that’s *bonus content*. Have you wondered why everyone thinks this is the best movie ever? You should really just go watch it to hear all the goods about Hannibal Lector, Buffalo Bill, and Clarice Starling - but if you can’t watch, listen! /episode/index/show/thosewhocantwatchlisten/id/10956764

19 - Friday the 13th 08/15/2019

19 - Friday the 13th We've all heard the superstition. FRIDAY THE 13TH episode is here! If Angie was smart, she would've waited to do this movie on the actual Friday the 13th that is happening in September, but alas, you're getting it in August. Are you interested in campy horror? Then this is the episode for you! Listen in to hear about Kevin Bacon's acting debut (maybe?) and get a synopsis of the first movie in a franchise that has grossed a grotesque amount of money. /episode/index/show/thosewhocantwatchlisten/id/10888683

18 - Psycho (1960) 08/02/2019

18 - Psycho (1960) Welcome to another episode of Those Who Can't Watch, Listen! This week we discuss Alfred Hitchcock's "Psycho." Norman Bates is no match for...well, his mother? Don't worry, we did the OG "Psycho" - no Vince Vaughn/Anne Heche action over here! /episode/index/show/thosewhocantwatchlisten/id/10746638

17 - The Cabin in the Woods 07/25/2019

17 - The Cabin in the Woods Chris Hemsworth, Jesse Williams, the girl from "Firefly," the dad from "Step Brothers," the awful guy from "Billy Madison." What else do you need in a horror movie? /episode/index/show/thosewhocantwatchlisten/id/10650590

16 - Midsommar (by Ari Aster) 07/18/2019

16 - Midsommar (by Ari Aster) Hello! Are you ready for the horror movie of the summer? MIDSOMMAR! Join Kelsey and Angie for a journey to Sweden for a Summer Solstice festival gone wrong - or did it? (No, it definitely went very, very wrong.) We talk about Heaven's Gate, Chidi from "The Good Place," and horrific deaths in this episode. In addition, Ari Aster sure likes to show us (let us hear about, in this podcast's case) some naked people chanting, as well - so buckle up, listeners-or-nots! /episode/index/show/thosewhocantwatchlisten/id/10571084

15 - Poltergeist 07/04/2019

15 - Poltergeist THEY'RE HERE. That's all you need to know. They're. Here. /episode/index/show/thosewhocantwatchlisten/id/10401938

14 - As Above, So Below 06/20/2019

14 - As Above, So Below Hello, Listeners-or-Nots! We're back with a trip to the catacombs of Paris (appropriate after Angie's European trip)! We venture deep into Hell in the movie "As Above, So Below" - or do we? Listen in also for details about Kelsey and Angie's life recently, because we know that's the content you crave, or just FF a bit to get the "dirt" on the catacombs and the spooky shit that it contains. /episode/index/show/thosewhocantwatchlisten/id/10222154

13 - The Conjuring 2 06/07/2019

13 - The Conjuring 2 Hallllooo, /episode/index/show/thosewhocantwatchlisten/id/10082336

12 - The Others 05/09/2019

12 - The Others Hiiiiiiiieeee. Listen in today for a retelling of the plot of Nicole Kidman's "The Others" - a spooky movie set in post-war Europe. Who are these crazy ghosts haunting this mom and her two sunless kids? What do they want?? Why can they play the piano? Some of these questions will be answered, some will not. All we know is that Nicole Kidman is WONDERFUL. Big Little Lies season 2 soon, anyone? *Claps with Nicole's weird long fingers from the Oscars* (Look it up) /episode/index/show/thosewhocantwatchlisten/id/9715484

11 - A Quiet Place 04/25/2019

11 - A Quiet Place Hellooooo!! If we could use ASL to sign these details to you, we would, because this week's episode is on "A Quiet Place." Listen in (or not) to hear Angie finally tell Kelsey about the brilliantly sound-edited movie about monsters who land on Earth in 2020 from a meteor and prey upon people who are noisy. (I know some coworkers who could use a little of this fear in their lives, amirite?) /episode/index/show/thosewhocantwatchlisten/id/9529715

10 - Us (by Jordan Peele) 04/11/2019

10 - Us (by Jordan Peele) HELLOOO and welcome to a new episode of Those Who Can't Watch, Listen, where Angie scares Kelsey with a thrilling retelling of "Us," Jordan Peele's new hit horror movie. Angie can't remember anyone's name in the movie, but she'll never forget Lupita Nyong'o and Winston Duke's chemistry. Listen in to hear how scarred Kelsey is by this particular horror movie and enjoy! /episode/index/show/thosewhocantwatchlisten/id/9351776

9 - The Exorcist 03/28/2019

9 - The Exorcist Howdy, listeners-or-nots! We're back, back again. Guess who's back? Kelsey and Angie are back with a new episode full of better audio (relatively speaking) and a new horror movie to gasp over. Did you see the split pea reference in last week's description? (Does anyone read these? Bueller?) Did you guess that this week would be THE EXORCIST? Well, paint me split pea green and call me Reagan! You're in for a wild ride this week. /episode/index/show/thosewhocantwatchlisten/id/9171629

8 - The Invitation 03/21/2019

8 - The Invitation Oh hi! We're back after a brief hiatus. BUT WITH A CATCH - this episode has some bad audio feedback, we don't know why. (It's ghosts.) So listen at your own discretion and hopefully we'll be back next week, enjoying split pea soup without our ears falling off from the feedback. /episode/index/show/thosewhocantwatchlisten/id/9087074

7 - Paranormal Activity 01/31/2019

7 - Paranormal Activity Episode lucky number 7 wasn't so lucky for Micah Sloat and Katie Featherston, stars of "Paranormal Activity" - the movie we cover this week on Those Who Can't Watch, Listen! Tune in this week to hear what horrors befall people who taunt demons in the nighttime. Is it real? Is it fake? You'll never know for sure*. /episode/index/show/thosewhocantwatchlisten/id/8450864

6 - I Know What You Did Last Summer 01/24/2019

6 - I Know What You Did Last Summer For this week's episode, Kelsey & Angie went way back (WAY, way back) to high school to learn about the teenage slasher flick "I Know What You Did Last Summer." Join us as we relive the late 90s with Jennifer Love Hewitt, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Freddie Prinze Jr., and a super douchey Ryan Philippe. Does the movie hold up today? FInd out! /episode/index/show/thosewhocantwatchlisten/id/8382449

Those Who Can't Watch, Listen

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