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317 Lauren Handel Zander | InnerU: How To Human Better

Wellness Force

Release Date: 12/23/2019

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More Episodes

If we're not dreaming, we're not inventing what's possible for our own lives. This whole Inner.U System is about being true to yourself when you finally find out what 'true' actually is for you. - Lauren Handel Zander

Are you fulfilling your dreams or just dreaming?


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Wellness Force Radio Episode 317

Speaker, Co-Founder and Chairwoman of The Handel Group, Author of Maybe It's You, Lauren Handel Zander, and Creator of Inner.U, Lauren Handel Zander, returns to Wellness Force Radio to explore the 12 areas of personal integrity, share how to get out of your constant shame spiral, and explain how your subconscious mind can lead you to the egoic mind trap if you are not constantly doing the inner work.

Discover how you can keep on track with your goals, rewrite your story, and human better in 2020. 



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Lauren Handel ZanderLearn to Human Better.

Learn to what? In a world filled with instruction manuals and tutorials for literally everything we buy, aren’t you wondering, “Where’s MY owner’s manual?” Never fear, Lauren Zander, creator of Inner.U, has not only got your back, she’s got your LIFE and your LOVE LIFE.

Consider Inner.U your (hu)manual.

Inner.U Life: is our online coaching course that gives you the tools to get yourself unstuck, wildly happy, and thriving where it matters most to you: your relationship to your SELF, CAREER, LOVE, BODY, MONEY, TIME, and more. From wherever, whenever.

Inner.U Love: is our online coaching course that gives you the tools to not only avoid heartbreak, but find whatever, whomever, and how many-ever it is that you truly and wholeheartedly want. Whether you’re out to find IT, fix it, or just figure out what you want from it. From wherever, whenever.

Get Started at wellnessforce.com/InnerU

Receive lifetime access to Inner.U with your subscription which includes:

  • 12 audio coaching sessions from Lauren Zander
  • 1 free private coaching session with an HG coach
  • 14 homework assignments
  • Interactive Promise Tracker to accelerate your accountability and track your promises and

Talk to a human and see if Handel Group coaching options are right for you.

Lauren Handel Zander


Listen To Episode 317 As Lauren Handel Zander Uncovers:

1:30  Cutting The Crap From Your Life


10:20 Loving Our Lives By Facing The Fear
  • The importance of working with people who you can put your whole trust in each gathering.
  • How our realities are created by everything we say and everything we think. (12:00)
  • Common narratives that we create around money and how we can end them.
  • The importance of looking at our parents, siblings, and grandparents' own stories to learn more about how we feel about money.
  • Why so many of our thoughts and beliefs aren't even our own but those that were passed onto us from previous generations.
  • The negative side of white-knuckling because of fear instead of relaxing and allowing the change to flow. (17:50)
  • How to change how you talk to yourself and making that a positive practice every day.


22:00 What Your Shame Spirals Are Teaching You
  • How the human mind is wired to feel guilty and justify every broken promise we have made to ourselves like not getting up to go work out just so we feel better about ourselves.
  • Why creating the stories, drama, and feeling guilty about yourself isn't going to create any good change for your life.
  • How our constant shame spirals are "proving" what is wrong with us and what we can learn from them.
  • How adding the consequence of "pay the bill and do the deed" to your personal development strategy can help push you that much more to stay loyal to your goals. (27:30)
  • The four questions you should ask yourself when you're faced up against a fake story about yourself including, "Is it true?"
  • Why we get caught up in surges of looped drama because we're wired to become addicted to how it makes us, in a sense, feel alive. (29:00)
  • The fact that over 80% of our thoughts are negative and actually looping from the day before.


32:00 How To Rewire Your Self-Talk & Effective Couple Communication Skills
  • The importance of rewiring how and what you say to yourself on a daily basis.
  • How she teaches people to develop a new language for their dreams and a new self-dialogue.
  • Why keeping secrets to ourselves instead of airing them out is literally the act of keeping them alive.
  • The fact that just hearing someone out and saying that you "understand" them actually means nothing for the relationship.
  • Why you have to understand that sharing your truth won't actually make another person do anything. (39:45)
  • Her work with couples to help them understand that in an argument, no one is right, no one is wrong, and you don't even have to agree; you just have to understand where they're coming from.
  • How to know that it's time to call it quits and end your relationship. (42:30)
  • Dr. Mark Hyman


47:30 Making Decisions Based On Love Or Fear; No Story Attached
  • The difference between coming from a higher place of love and a lower place of fear.
  • Our three different integrities explained: spiritual, emotional, and physical.
  • What personal integrity means and how it can only be obtained when we are in alignment with ourselves. (51:00)
  • The 12 areas of personal integrity that we have to focus on and not just one like the career area.
  • Why it's so important to create 12 new dreams every year for each area of your life.
  • How to let our dark side be free and expressed rather than shamed.
  • Who Inner.U is for and how you can benefit from it by working with Lauren and her team.
  • What wellness means to her now in 2019 compared to last year in episode 248.


Power Quotes From The Show


Feelings Have A Magnetic Force

"You are thinking, doing, and feeling all at the same time but the feeling is the result of the other two. It's the one that comes from your thoughts or your actions. So, you change your action, you will think and feel differently. You change your thought, you will act and feel differently. The feeling is the main magnetic force." - Lauren Handel Zander


The Definition Of Personal Integrity

"When your dreams, your vision for yourself, your actions, and how you feel are all aligned, that is personal integrity." - Lauren Handel Zander



Changing Your Inner Dialogue By Taking Action

"Whatever you want has the actions that correlate to it. If you want to learn French, you have to study it and then probably go practice it. There's nothing under the sun that many of us can't figure out how to get to an A at and there's no shaming required to admit that you want to get an A at something. However, there is really getting over yourself and believing in yourself and all of that comes from how you talk to yourself." - Lauren Handel Zander


Links From Today's Show


About Lauren Handel Zander

Lauren Handel ZanderLauren, the Co-Founder and Chairwoman of Handel Group®, has spent over 20 years coaching thousands of private clients: entrepreneurs, couples, families, professors, politicians, Emmy, Peabody and Academy Award-winning artists, Grammy-winning musicians, and Fortune 500 CEOs. She has fixed corporate business relationships, mediated contract negotiations, reconciled marriages, and helped resolve complex family issues.

The Handel Method

Lauren’s coaching methodology, The Handel Method®, is taught in over 50 universities and institutes of learning around the world, including MIT, Stanford Graduate School of Business, NYU, and the New York City Public School System. She is also the author of Maybe It’s You (Published by Hachette Book Group, April 2017), a no-nonsense, practical manual that helps readers figure out not just what they want out of life, but how to actually get there.

Work With Lauren

Lauren’s take-no-prisoners brand of radical personal accountability and her proven step-by-step program has worked for bestselling authors, CEOs and top executives, award-winning artists … and now, you. She will have you dreaming in more areas of your life than you ever let yourself imagine and will teach you the key to happiness, self-esteem, and confidence: Personal Integrity, defined as the alignment of your head (plan), heart (desire), and body (actions). And though many of us may have had the inkling before that we are our life’s biggest problem (and solution), we truly have no idea its extent or found the humor in it necessary to lighten up about it. That is, until now.


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