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Ep. 143: A Full-Time Other Mother - Step-Parenting Grieving Children

Grief Out Loud

Release Date: 04/17/2020

Find The Helpers - Fred Guttenberg show art Find The Helpers - Fred Guttenberg

Grief Out Loud

On Valentine's Day, 2018, Fred Guttenberg rushed his two children, Jaime and Jesse, off to school. He had no idea it would be the last time he saw Jaime, who was murdered later that day in the Parkland School shooting. Jaime was killed just a few months after Fred's brother Michael died of as a result of being exposed to toxic substances when he ran into the World Trade Center as a 911 first responder. In the aftermath of Jaime's death, Fred dedicated himself to saving lives through ending gun violence.

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Caregiving For A Parent - Priya Soni & The Caregiving Effect show art Caregiving For A Parent - Priya Soni & The Caregiving Effect

Grief Out Loud

One day while driving between visiting her mom who had just had knee surgery and caring for her dad who had a progressive illness, Priya Soni wondered, "Where are the others?" By others, she meant the other adult children caregiving for parents and family members. Years later, this question would lead her to start The Caregiving Effect, an organization dedicated to bringing adult children caregivers together through stories, support, and mentoring. 

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Grieving While Black - Breeshia Wade show art Grieving While Black - Breeshia Wade

Grief Out Loud

Breeshia Wade's new book, "Grieving While Black: An Anti-Racist Take on Oppression and Sorrow," puts grief into a wider context. The context of our relationships and the larger systems that shape who has access to resources like time, power, and the space to grieve. Breeshia is an author, end-of-life caregiver, and grief coach. 

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Living With Loss Over A Lifetime - Hope Edelman & The AfterGrief show art Living With Loss Over A Lifetime - Hope Edelman & The AfterGrief

Grief Out Loud

How do we live with grief over the course of our lives? Hope Edelman, author of the groundbreaking book, Motherless Daughters, joins us again to talk about her newest book, The AfterGrief: Finding Your Way Along the Long Arc of Loss. The AfterGrief is what happens as we move out of the initial acute distress when someone dies and into a lifetime of learning to live with what that loss means for us.

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"Am I Even Safe In My Home?" Collective Grief In Communities With Marginalized Identities - Dr. Amber Nelson PsyD

Grief Out Loud

What is collective grief and how does it affect members of communities with marginalized identities? Dr. Amber Nelson, PsyD talks about both her professional and personal experiences with recognizing and supporting collective grief. Specifically the collective grief of bearing witness to the highly publicized murders of Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, Tony McDade, George Floyd, and the others who were killed this past year, many at the hands of the police. 

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"I Can't Even Imagine" - Grieving Both Parents

Grief Out Loud

Mariyam was six when her father, Nurtay, died just before his 34th birthday. Now 20, Mariyam has experienced the deaths of four additional family members, including her mother, Bagitgul who died this past summer during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic in her home city in Kazakhstan. Now 20, Mariyam is figuring out how to live without both of her parents. We talk about the well-intentioned phrases like "I can't imagine what you're going through." "I could never survive" and how they feel to Mariyam. 

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Widowish - Melissa Gould show art Widowish - Melissa Gould

Grief Out Loud

When you think of the word "widow" what image comes to mind? When author Melissa Gould's husband Joel died, she didn't fit what she imagined widows looked and acted like, even if she felt like one. This dissonance led her to come up with the term "Widowish" which is also the title of her new memoir. Widowish is the story of her husband Joel, their love, and how she and their daughter Sophie found ways to grieve the heartbreak of his death. 

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The Indigenous Death Doula Mentorship Program - Chrystal Wàban Toop show art The Indigenous Death Doula Mentorship Program - Chrystal Wàban Toop

Grief Out Loud

What does it mean to train to be a death doula for your community? Chrystal Wàban Toop is the founder of Blackbird Medicines and she joined us to talk about how her early experiences with grief grounded her in the the work she does as a life spectrum doula and her commitment to helping people reconnect with traditional knowledge and cultural practices to guide individual, family, and community transitions throughout the life span. 

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Love Stories - A Griefy Valentine's Special show art Love Stories - A Griefy Valentine's Special

Grief Out Loud

Even if you don't really celebrate it, Valentine's Day can be rough when you're grieving. This year, we decided to bring you a compilation of love stories from listeners. Even though Valentine's Day is usually marketed as only about romantic love, this episode is about the love that exists in any connection. The idea for this episode came out of our conversation in episode 162 with Alesia Alexander, LCSW.

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Ep. 182: Healing Trauma, Attending To Grief - Native Wellness Institute & Jillene Joseph show art Ep. 182: Healing Trauma, Attending To Grief - Native Wellness Institute & Jillene Joseph

Grief Out Loud

Jillene Joseph, Executive Director of the Native Wellness Institute, joined us to discuss how settler colonial policies outlawing Native funeral rights purposefully cut people off from traditional practices and how that trauma reverberates today. We also talk about what it means to take a healthy risk in grief, the importance of attending to grief emotionally, physically, spiritually, and mentally, and how Native Wellness Institute is continuing to promote health and wellness with their Native Power Hours.

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More Episodes

Being a step-parent is complicated under the best of circumstances, but what happens when your children's other parent dies? Paige Smith was just settling into her new family with her husband and his two children that he co-parented with his ex-wife, Danielle, when they got the news that Danielle had been diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer. When Danielle died and the girls moved in Paige and her husband, Paige found herself entering the new role of full-time mother, but without the support and guidance of Danielle. We talk about how Paige and her husband, together with their girls, are working to honor Danielle's memory and navigate grief individually, and as a family.