loader from loading.io

How to Stop Self-Sabotage

SOUL SCHOOL with Audrey

Release Date: 06/29/2020

Know-It-All Nancy ruined my night show art Know-It-All Nancy ruined my night

SOUL SCHOOL with Audrey

In this episode I share an embarrassing and raw story that just happened last night about my overbearing shadows and what I'm learning from them.

info_outline
Gratitude over Goals - HELLO 2021! show art Gratitude over Goals - HELLO 2021!

SOUL SCHOOL with Audrey

As you prepare your goals for the new year, first take a moment to REFLECT:

info_outline
How to Let Go of Expectations  show art How to Let Go of Expectations

SOUL SCHOOL with Audrey

In today's episode I share my personal struggle with my husband about expectations, disappointments and how to stay open to learn the lesson so we can heal and communicate through a place of healthy self respect, boundaries and love.

info_outline
What You Focus on Expands show art What You Focus on Expands

SOUL SCHOOL with Audrey

For many of us, 2020 has been one big fat disappointment, filled with loss, cancelations, and grief. what you place your attention on expands.

info_outline
How to Manifest Your Desired Outcome show art How to Manifest Your Desired Outcome

SOUL SCHOOL with Audrey

#2020 has been a wild ride, filled with a lot of disappointment, loss, and pivoting. It’s probably unearthed a lot of emotions that you’ve had to work with too.

info_outline
How to Pull Yourself out of Procrastination and Overwhelm to Inspiration show art How to Pull Yourself out of Procrastination and Overwhelm to Inspiration

SOUL SCHOOL with Audrey

Instead of doing what you normally do to avoided discomfort, and letting the task pile up or waiting for motivation, harness inspiration by taking intentional action now, and do it consistently.

info_outline
A Quick question to shift your perspective and lift your spirits show art A Quick question to shift your perspective and lift your spirits

SOUL SCHOOL with Audrey

This one question on my yoga retreat from a guest helped me shift my perspective. Hope this helps shift yours too!

info_outline
This season of darkness is a potent time for transformation and finding your light show art This season of darkness is a potent time for transformation and finding your light

SOUL SCHOOL with Audrey

In the darkness is where things grow.

info_outline
LISTEN AND TRUST YOURE EXACTLY WHERE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE show art LISTEN AND TRUST YOURE EXACTLY WHERE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE

SOUL SCHOOL with Audrey

My invitation to you this week for our Mantra Monday is to LISTEN and be in a receptive state, so you can hear the truth and the path.

info_outline
Surrender and Trust Life to Unfold its Magic plan for You show art Surrender and Trust Life to Unfold its Magic plan for You

SOUL SCHOOL with Audrey

Stay open and let Life’s divine magic unfold for you in it’s own divine timing. Trust that everything you’re experiencing is exactly where you’re meant to be.

info_outline
 
More Episodes

EP 91 Stop sabotaging yourself 

 

It's hard to change, especially when that habit or belief system has been ingrained in you for years, decades, or a lifetime.

 

Today’s mantra Monday and intention for this week is to bring awareness to your habits to stop self-sabotage. 

 

Only you know how you’re sabotaging yourself. It could be second guessing yourself, questioning your actions or skills, not believing in your abilities, comparing yourself to others, doing things you know you shouldn’t do, or doing things you know you should do. 

 

Self-sabotage is knowing what you want and how to get there, but doing the opposite, undermining the thing you desire. 

 

Personally, for example:

I know that Yoga is good for me, but I don't do it. During quarantine I've done yoga three times in three months, which is crazy, because I always complain how I don’t have enough time to get to the teachers I love. And now, all the teachers around the world who I love are accessible online.

 

I also know that eating healthy will get me to how I want to feel in my body - healthier, fitter, stronger, more confident, but more often than not fat kid Freddy takes over and sabotages my eating habits. 

 

The biggest self-sabotage that I’m currently experiencing is in my business. I want to create a business and brand that is successful and meaningful, and I know that consistency of content is key to building that. But I sabotage this dream by finding other things to do instead of what I need to do, and I’m also very critical of myself, which causes doubt, fog and inertia. Perfectionism stops me from creating. And then, I feel like a failure for not creating. It’s a bad cycle.

 

I'm not sure why we sabotage the very thing or feeling we desire. 

 

A few things I'm learning as a parent is that a child will subconsciously reenact their bad behavior as a cry for help to heal old wounds and patterns that are out of their control. For example, a toddler may hit because she doesn’t have the emotional intelligence or maturity to stop herself or express her big emotions of fear, overwhelm or stimulation in a healthy way. Or maybe she’s had a negative experience with a caregiver, so she will recreate that bad behavior reenacting it with that person as a call for help to heal her emotion and that pattern, asking that person to step in and stop her, because she can’t stop herself. Once it’s done in a healthy and loving way, usually that negative pattern is broken.

 

Similarly our emotional brain is used to patterns so we reenact negative behaviors because they are comfortable as a subconscious cry for help. 

 

Sometimes the known is easier and more comfortable than the unknown, even if that known is not what we want. So we easily revert back to ways that are easy and comfortable and sabotage what we desire. That path is well worn.

 

Unlike a child who doesn’t have the emotionally developed brain that can rationalize and make sense of her big emotions and behaviors, our brain can make sense of our actions and emotions, and through awareness, we can begin to understand ourselves deeply and consciously choose again. 

 

Take a moment and think about one way you've been sabotaging yourself, your dreams, and how you want to feel. It could be anything - big or small.

 

Of course it’s easy for me to tell you, “hey, just stop being that way,” but for our emotional brain, it’s very hard to break our habits that are comfortable, even if we don't like these habits.

 

Change starts with awareness. 

 

Commit this week to being more mindful of when your subconscious brain takes over and hijacks the very thing you desire.

 

In that moment, notice it, then label it and choose again. You have the power of choice.

 

Release any fears and habits that block you from receiving the love and support you desire. 

 

I’m gonna do this with you, because I want to feel productive and in flow, but I sabotage my productivity by getting distracted, feeling uninspired, losing focus and being highly critical of myself. So, this week, I will notice when I feel overwhelmed, put pressure on myself to be perfect, and compare myself to others. Instead of doing what I normally do, which is going into the fridge to numb my emotions and distract me from the present moment, I will pause,  notice, and label how I’m feeling and what I’m doing  and choose again. 

 

By bringing awareness to how I’m feeling, I can take care and honor myself. I may choose to take a break, nap, journal, move my body, or shift my mindset to be more compassionate so I can create without criticism.

 

You have the power of choice. 

  1. Notice when you start to sabotage
  2. Label your emotions or  actions to bring it into consciousness. 
  3. Then choose again. 

 

Be present in that moment, CHOOSE, then let go and move on to the next moment. 

 

It’s not easy to look at ways you harm yourself. Through this daily mindfulness practice of watching your habits, labeling your big emotions and actions and consciously choosing from a place of love, you will build your self worth and curate a practice of self love. 

 

Small steps create big change.

 

I believe in you and will be right there with you doing the work too.

 

If this tool is helpful to you, I appreciate you reviewing this episode and sharing it with anyone who would benefit.

 

As always, I’m grateful to you for taking the time to listen to this podcast and being part of our soul school family. You are enough and you matter!


--> for more about ME