Grief + Grace
Grief + Grace
I remember in 2018, I was 6-weeks pregnant, totally sick and queasy, and in less than 4 weeks I was going to host a week long retreat for 28 women in Tuscany. I hunched over the stove painfully grilling a cheese sandwich (because that’s all I could eat at that time), then slowly shuffled my feet to the couch where I lay horizontally with my eyes closed, nibbling my grilled cheese sandwich like a squirrel. My dad watched this sad scene and insisted that he go to Italy to help me. Stubbornly, I told him I can handle it, but he knew better. He bought his plane ticket that night. I could never have done the retreat without him and in fact he made the retreat that much more special and became everyone’s resident “yoga dad.” He died later that year, two weeks before my daughter was born. Yesterday was his 5-year anniversary of his passing, and it’s kind of strange (and also beautiful) timing that I’m also opening registration next week on the Hunter moon (the name of our daughter and the actual day he died 5 years ago). I know he would like me going back to Italy, his favorite place, and especially back to Villa Benedetta where that was our last vacation together. Maybe you’re wondering why I’m sharing all this? My dad always taught me to celebrate life, but when you lose someone you love, grief can feel so overwhelming. Through conscious work of silence, meditation, self-reflection, talking to him, going to Bali for deep healing and magic, now the feelings of JOY, connection and love are more present than grief and sorry. That doesn’t mean I don’t miss him. I do, every day. But I feel deeply connected to his spirit and his love for me and love for life. Connection is most important to me. The pandemic shut my thriving yoga business for 3 years, and to be honest, I’m still picking up the pieces, seeking that deep connection again. Maybe you are too? Getting to return to this magnificent villa overlooking sprawling vineyards holds a special place in my heart - not only for its serene beauty of the luxurious architecture, quaint town and vineyards, but because of the beautiful memories of my dad interacting with our yoga friends and the lasting friendships and connection we made in this special place (and honestly, always make on my retreats). Registration for Tuscany opens next Saturday, and if you’re on the waitlist, you’ll get a special email next week. I’d love for you to join me either in Tuscany Sept 29-Oct 5, 2024 or in beautiful Bali April 22-28, 2024 for healing, renewal and connection to your inner truth. DETAILS FOR BOTH RETREATS: Tuscany 2024 Bali 2024 XX Audrey If you’re experiencing grief, I hope TODAY’S MINDFUL PAUSE episode helps you be with yourself in a loving way, allowing yourself stillness to feel your emotions and hear that wisdom that shows up to thaw what is frozen to flow again.