Episode 347: Love Becomes Purpose - Adrienne's Sissy
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
Parent. Sister. Friend. That was the order Andrea established with her little sister Adrienne when Adrienne was just nine years old, fresh into a new life in Los Angeles after their mother signed over custody on the day after Christmas. Andrea was twenty-two. She had not planned any of this. But she looked at her little sister and she knew. And so she laid it out simply: I have to be your parent first, then your sister, and one day when you grow up, I really hope I'm your friend. Adrienne understood. She had a painting made for Andrea's office wall. It said: Parent, Sister, Friend. That...
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Episode 346: Life Grows Around It - Graham's Mom
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
Grief is permanent. But it doesn't have to be all-consuming. That is the quiet, hard-won truth at the heart of this conversation with Wesley, Graham's mom. And it is the kind of truth that only comes from ten years of living with loss. Graham was adopted at five months old, a boy who struggled from early on with questions of identity and belonging. He wrestled with being adopted, with his sexuality, with depression, and eventually with addiction. Wesley spent years in that particular kind of anticipatory grief that parents of children with addiction know all too well, always bracing, always...
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Episode 345: You Are Doing It - Taylor's Mom
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
Some dates just carry weight. April 23rd. The anniversary of Taylor's death. Two days after what would have been Andy's 22nd birthday. When Jam reached out and asked to come back on, I looked at the calendar and knew immediately. There was no one else I wanted in this space this week. If you haven't yet listened to , I'd encourage you to start there. Jam first came on just four months after losing Taylor, her 13-year-old daughter, a girl who rode the special needs bus by choice every single day so she could sit beside her twin sister Morgan, who saved her lunch seat without fail, who never...
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Episode 344: Even Though, We Will - Noah's Dad
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
Abnormalities. That is the word that changed Matthew and his wife Hannah's lives forever. They went in for a routine ultrasound, their almost two-year-old son Walker playing happily beside them in the waiting room, and left knowing that their lives would never be the same, and that their son Noah was unlikely to live. What followed was six months of hurrying up and waiting. Six months of grieving a diagnosis before they ever had to grieve a death. Six months of doctor's appointments and phone calls and learning, in real time, what it means to carry an impossible weight while the rest of the...
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Episode 343: Not Alone - Gwen & Marcy
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
We are not meant to do this alone. That is the thread that runs through every moment of this conversation, and these are the words Gwen chose to close with, because they are simply true. This episode is a replay of our recent live Q&A, a chance to follow up on the four-week educational series Gwen so graciously offered in February while I took a much-needed step back. We talk openly about what that break was like for me, why I needed it, and what I learned from it, including the hard-won lesson that even sacred work can wear you down if you never put it down, even for a little while. ...
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Episode 342: Still Standing - Jake's Mom
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
Before Angie lost her son Jake, she used to say something that I think many of us have said — or at least thought. If something ever happened to Jake, you would just have to bury me with him. Period. End of discussion. There was no way. And then the unthinkable happened. Jake was Angie's only child, her greatest surprise and her greatest blessing. Born in August of 1995, he grew up to be a man of quiet, steady faith — the kind that didn't ask for recognition, that just lived itself out in the way he treated people, the way he loved his wife Hannah, the way he'd get genuinely excited...
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Episode 341: Still His Mama - Raiden's Mom
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
When Samantha first came on this podcast in Episode 282, she was only a few months out from losing Raiden. She was raw and fresh in her grief — and yet even then, just four months into her loss, she reached out to ask me about Andy. She stepped outside her own pain to offer comfort to someone further down the road. I knew then that she was someone special. Fourteen months later, she is back. And the question that quietly runs through everything she shares is one that every grieving parent eventually faces: How do I keep being my child's mama when my child is gone? For Samantha, the...
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Episode 340: Thankful In, Not For - Mikael's Mom
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
In this episode of Always Andy’s Mom, I sit down with Leanne, Mikael’s mom, for an honest and heartfelt conversation about grief, faith, and life after losing a child to addiction. At the center of this episode is a powerful shift in perspective. After her son’s death, Leanne struggled with the words “give thanks in all circumstances.” But when reading the words more carefully, she noticed a subtle difference that shifted her understanding. She began to see the difference between being thankful for her circumstances and being thankful in them. Leanne shares her experience loving her...
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Episode 339: 8:15 - The Moment Everything Changed - Chantal's Parents
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
In this episode of Always Andy’s Mom, Marcy speaks with Jean and Shelly about the loss of their daughter, Chantal, and the grief journey that followed after losing a child to cancer. Jean remembers the exact moment everything changed: 8:15, the time Chantal died. That moment became the dividing line between the life they once knew and the life that followed. Together they share the long and difficult experience of Chantal’s cancer diagnosis, the exhausting treatments that followed, and the heartbreak of losing a child. They also talk about how grief continued to unfold in the years...
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Episode 338: Scars & Seasons - Keyan's Mom
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
After six and a half years and more than 300 episodes, I took a month away from the podcast to rest, spend time with my family, and tend to my own heart. When it felt right to return, there was only one person I wanted to talk with. Stephanie — Keyan’s mom — was the very first bereaved mother I ever interviewed when this podcast began. Even before that, she was someone I met in a grief support group just weeks after Andy died. She was further down the road of child loss than I was, and I remember quietly watching her, wondering how she was still standing. Somewhere in that watching was a...
info_outlineToday's guest, Robyn Karns, knows hardship - she has experienced abuse, widowhood, a miscarriage, and divorce, but 17 months ago, her life was absolutely rocked to the core. Robyn lost her firstborn and her best friend, Zach. She wondered how she would be able to go on from this tremendous loss. Losing Zach made all of her other trials pale in comparison. How could she keep getting up each day and living life?
Robyn truly felt as if she were under attack, like Satan thought he would finally win, but she vowed to herself that she would not give in. While many of us become angry with God and even turn our backs on Him, Robyn told the Lord, "It can’t be for nothing. You have got to turn this around for your glory. You HAVE to make this make sense in one way or the other."
Over that past year, Robyn's life has changed in more ways than she ever could have imagined. Just over a year ago, she had the idea to make leather earrings for herself and for her daughters. She needed to do something with her hands to keep herself busy. Soon, people began to ask on Facebook if she might be willing to sell the earrings. She quickly realized that there may be a way to talk to others about Zach and about how God was helping her through his tragic death. In addition to earrings, she soon began designing other jewelry including warrior bracelets for bereaved mothers, and jewelry with anchor designs in memory of Zach. This project quickly changed from something to keep her hands busy to a business and ministry.
On Robyn's website, robynkarns.com, where she now sells her jewelry, she writes a letter to bereaved mothers, whom she calls 'warrior mamas.' Part of that letter is written below:
If I were with you I'd wrap you up in a big hug and tell you…
When you get out of bed everyday…. You are a Warrior.
When you are in a corner crying for days...You are a Warrior.
When you are so mad at God… You are a Warrior.
When you can’t even muster a word in prayer….You are STILL a Warrior.
When you feel you will never get through this….You are still a Warrior.
By the end of my conversation with Robyn (which extended at least 30 minutes beyond the recording), I feel like I had found an old friend. I actually told her that I felt a sisterly love for her after only one conversation. She made me feel like I truly am a warrior.
In Robyn's life, she keeps getting hit again and again by trials, but she is not giving up, and that can inspire all of the rest of us as well. She just keeps fighting and turning all of the hardships, all of this bad stuff, into good. She never stops giving glory to God and continues to be obedient and show up for others when they need to be lifted up as well.