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Ep. 179: Sons Of Suicide - 50 Years Of Friendship & Grief

Grief Out Loud

Release Date: 01/15/2021

"I Can't Even Imagine" - Grieving Both Parents

Grief Out Loud

Mariyam was six when her father, Nurtay, died just before his 34th birthday. Now 20, Mariyam has experienced the deaths of four additional family members, including her mother, Bagitgul who died this past summer during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic in her home city in Kazakhstan. Now 20, Mariyam is figuring out how to live without both of her parents. We talk about the well-intentioned phrases like "I can't imagine what you're going through." "I could never survive" and how they feel to Mariyam. 

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Widowish - Melissa Gould show art Widowish - Melissa Gould

Grief Out Loud

When you think of the word "widow" what image comes to mind? When author Melissa Gould's husband Joel died, she didn't fit what she imagined widows looked and acted like, even if she felt like one. This dissonance led her to come up with the term "Widowish" which is also the title of her new memoir. Widowish is the story of her husband Joel, their love, and how she and their daughter Sophie found ways to grieve the heartbreak of his death. 

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The Indigenous Death Doula Mentorship Program - Chrystal Wàban Toop show art The Indigenous Death Doula Mentorship Program - Chrystal Wàban Toop

Grief Out Loud

What does it mean to train to be a death doula for your community? Chrystal Wàban Toop is the founder of Blackbird Medicines and she joined us to talk about how her early experiences with grief grounded her in the the work she does as a life spectrum doula and her commitment to helping people reconnect with traditional knowledge and cultural practices to guide individual, family, and community transitions throughout the life span. 

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Love Stories - A Griefy Valentine's Special show art Love Stories - A Griefy Valentine's Special

Grief Out Loud

Even if you don't really celebrate it, Valentine's Day can be rough when you're grieving. This year, we decided to bring you a compilation of love stories from listeners. Even though Valentine's Day is usually marketed as only about romantic love, this episode is about the love that exists in any connection. The idea for this episode came out of our conversation in episode 162 with Alesia Alexander, LCSW.

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Ep. 182: Healing Trauma, Attending To Grief - Native Wellness Institute & Jillene Joseph show art Ep. 182: Healing Trauma, Attending To Grief - Native Wellness Institute & Jillene Joseph

Grief Out Loud

Jillene Joseph, Executive Director of the Native Wellness Institute, joined us to discuss how settler colonial policies outlawing Native funeral rights purposefully cut people off from traditional practices and how that trauma reverberates today. We also talk about what it means to take a healthy risk in grief, the importance of attending to grief emotionally, physically, spiritually, and mentally, and how Native Wellness Institute is continuing to promote health and wellness with their Native Power Hours.

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Ep. 181: Ep. 181: "She's Always With Me" - Finding Peace In The Permanence Of Grief

Grief Out Loud

Molly loves her life, but she didn't always feel that way. 18 years ago, Molly's life changed in an instant when her mom died of a heart attack while driving Molly to school. Since that day, Molly's worked hard to figure out what helps her feel healthy and grounded. This includes recognizing that grief is permanent and will always be part of who she is in this world.

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Ep. 180: More Than Just A Number - Grieving When Someone Dies Of COVID-19 show art Ep. 180: More Than Just A Number - Grieving When Someone Dies Of COVID-19

Grief Out Loud

As of January 21st, 2021, over 400,000 people in the U.S. have been killed by the coronavirus. Globally, the number is over 2 million. Despite attempts by journalists and public health officials to put these numbers into context, what gets lost in tracking case counts are the stories of the people who died and their family members left behind. This is one of those stories. The story of Maria, beloved mother of four, who died this summer of COVID-19, told by Mariana, her youngest daughter.  

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Ep. 179: Sons Of Suicide - 50 Years Of Friendship & Grief show art Ep. 179: Sons Of Suicide - 50 Years Of Friendship & Grief

Grief Out Loud

This is the story of how a random encounter led to a transformative friendship that's lasted for more than 50 years. A friendship rooted in the shared experience of grieving a parent who died of suicide. David Pincus and Rick Knapp met as high school seniors. They had a lot in common, including a part of their lives that they rarely talked about. Both of their mothers had died by suicide. Their book, Sons of Suicide: A Memoir of Friendship, chronicles how these early losses shaped so much of their lives. 

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Ep. 178: Survivor's Guilt - Julia Mallory show art Ep. 178: Survivor's Guilt - Julia Mallory

Grief Out Loud

After her oldest son was killed in 2017, Julia Mallory had a sense that creativity was a place she could go in her grief. In that place, she wrote Survivor's Guilt, a collection of essays and poems about grief, joy, and the moments when they intersect.

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Ep. 177: The Relentless Nature Of Grief - Carmel Breathnach show art Ep. 177: The Relentless Nature Of Grief - Carmel Breathnach

Grief Out Loud

When Carmel Breathnach was 11, her mother died of cancer. While she felt supported at home by her father, she didn't feel that way at school. Now as an adult, Carmel’s carried this grief though graduations, moving from Ireland to the U.S.. getting married, and now through a pandemic.  We talk about the role anger played in her grief, what she needed from her teachers, how she honored her mom at her wedding, and how working on her forthcoming memoir, "Briefly I Knew My Mother," has affected her grief.  

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This is the story of how a random encounter led to a transformative friendship that's lasted for more than 50 years. A friendship rooted in the shared experience of grieving a parent who died of suicide. David Pincus and Rick Knapp met as high school seniors and they had a lot in common, including having a mothers who died of suicide. Prior to meeting it was something they rarely talked about, but in their friendship, they finally found someone they could confide in. Now, five decades later, they wrote a book, Sons of Suicide: A Memoir of Friendship, about how these early losses shaped so much of their lives and their ongoing friendship. 

In this episode we discuss:

  • The shame and stigma associated with a death by suicide
  • The power of friendship and connection in grief
  • Grieving as a teenager
  • The drive to answer the "Why?" question
  • How writing the book and being so public with their stories has affected David and Rick

Learn more about David, Rick and their book here. 

If you or someone you know needs support, please reach out for help. You can call the National Suicide Prevention Line at 503.273-8255 or text HELLO to 741741.