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Be Less Dickish – self-help for men

Bear Psychology Podcast

Release Date: 10/03/2022

Understanding Narcissism show art Understanding Narcissism

Bear Psychology Podcast

If you have ever struggled with a person in your life that displays behaviors such as: lack of empathy; entitlement; a need to be the center of attention; negative reactions to any critical feedback; a grandiose sense of self; arrogance; manipulation and gaslighting; a need to be in control; demeaning and blaming of others and much more than this conversation will be of interest to you! “Narcissism: A Contemporary Introduction” by Dr. Richard Wood is a well-researched book that provides you with a deep understanding of the psychological terrain of the Narcissist. He distinguishes and...

info_outline Healing from Wounds No One Sees – From Military to Motorcycles show art Healing from Wounds No One Sees – From Military to Motorcycles

Bear Psychology Podcast

Dedicating your life to the safety and freedom of your country is a massive sacrifice military veterans across make every day. One of the largest challenges for these heroes is working through the barriers and stigma of PTSD following service and navigating their path of readjustment and recovery. Kurt Grant, author of “Shiny Side Up: On the Road to Recovery”, used a cross-country motorcycle trip to help integrate and calm some of the chaos in his mind following military service as an infantry sergeant. Listen to our conversation with veteran & author Kurt Grant as we talk about...

info_outline Our Emotional Connection to Pets and how it impact our lives show art Our Emotional Connection to Pets and how it impact our lives

Bear Psychology Podcast

So many of our listeners have pets that they cherish and certainly have shared struggles they might have with these animals.  I am a great animal lover and many of my clients have found solace in their relationships with pets in the home, at times feeling a great emotional boost from the connection.   With this in mind, I wanted to share the work of Denise Mange – who has written about her special approach to building a health relationship with the pets in your life.   A bark is not always just a bark and a bite is not always just a bite. Training a dog (or other animal)...

info_outline Overcoming Depression with Activation Strategies show art Overcoming Depression with Activation Strategies

Bear Psychology Podcast

Depression is a type of mood disorder that often results in chronic feelings of profound sadness and disinterest. Referred to as both clinical depression and major depressive disorder, it affects one's thoughts, feelings, and behaviors and can result in a range of psychological and medical issues. Sufferers often report difficulty navigating their day-to-day life and thinking life is not worth living. However, it is critical to understand that recovery is possible and that you are not alone in these struggles. Dr. Nina Josefowitz’s book “The Behavioral Activation Workbook for...

info_outline Healing Emotional Dysregulation show art Healing Emotional Dysregulation

Bear Psychology Podcast

In this healing exploration author and therapist Dr. Tamra Sattler reflects on the “Enneagram 4” also referred to as “Borderline-style personality”. These personality styles have a reputation of being difficult for therapists to work with, families to tolerate, and importantly for those struggling to love and accept themselves. In her book, “Too Much and Not Enough: Healing for the Enneagram Four or Borderline-Style Personality”, Sattler describes how people achieve self-discovery and a path forward to belonging, for those with strong emotions. Listen to our conversation with...

info_outline Medical Assistance in Dying – loving someone through the process show art Medical Assistance in Dying – loving someone through the process

Bear Psychology Podcast

Upon receiving a brain tumor diagnosis in 2018, Cynthia Clark’s husband expressed his desire to prioritize the quality of his remaining years over the quantity. His desire was to relish his time with his wife and kids, which ultimately led to his decision to utilize MAID when treatment failed eight months later. After starting a blog to update friends and family about the process, Cynthia began to notice that those going through this same process with a loved one often reported feeling alone and unsupported.  This led her to write “The Many Faces of MAID: What to Expect When Someone...

info_outline Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN) impacts your life today show art Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN) impacts your life today

Bear Psychology Podcast

After 20 years in practice, Dr. Jonice Webb noticed the painful struggle of people who grew up in homes where they were emotionally neglected.  She identified this neglect as an "invisible factor" that continued to affect adults often leaving them feeling depleted and dissatisfied or what she described as “Running on Empty”. In Dr. Webb’s books “Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect” and “Running On Empty No More: Transform Your Relationships” she shines a light on this invisible force of CEN.  She discusses how to bring new tools, strategies and...

info_outline Meditation after Injury and Loss show art Meditation after Injury and Loss

Bear Psychology Podcast

After years of excellent health as an ultra-marathon runner and athlete and a good life in a stable marriage Katie Arnold’s life flipped from stable to unrecognizable.  Arnold experienced a significant injury while on a rafting trip that left her with a broken leg and big life changes.  She takes us through her life as an ultra-runner and a “seething but adequate” married woman before the accident. The things she relied on before her accident were ripped away from her leaving her wondering who she really is. After her accident, she sought solace through a Zen meditation...

info_outline Untangle from Toxic People show art Untangle from Toxic People

Bear Psychology Podcast

Growing up with emotionally immature or self-centered parents can mean that your emotional needs were either disregarded or unmet. As a result, you may struggle with feelings of betrayal, abandonment, rage, or loneliness. Although you may work hard to become the person you want to be, your old wounds might re-ignite at any time, especially if your are reminded of vulnerable childhood feelings. Dr. Gibson, is an CEN expert and the author of “Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People: Avoid Emotional Traps, Stand Up for Your Self, and Transform Your Relationships as an Adult Child of...

info_outline Creating Better Relationship Boundaries show art Creating Better Relationship Boundaries

Bear Psychology Podcast

If you are interested in learning how to assert yourself in the workplace, navigate tumultuous family dynamics, or establish boundaries in romantic relationships, this show is for you.  Boundaries are the invisible lines that define the limits of our emotional and physical space, safeguarding our well-being and preserving our sense of self. Yet, for many, setting and maintaining boundaries can be a daunting task, fraught with uncertainty and discomfort. In her book, "Setting Boundaries That Stick" Juliane Taylor Shore offers a beacon of hope for those seeking to cultivate healthier...

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More Episodes

If you have ever fallen into negative patterns of action or thoughts that fail you often AND you identify as male (or know a man you want to better understand) then this self-help guide provides humorous and relevant instruction. 

David and Corey write this book together as a patient & therapist duo with insight into the pitfalls and possible strategies to deal with 4 primary destructive patterns that might be getting you or someone you know into trouble. 

Listen to our conversation with therapist & co-authors David Coates & Corey Kilpack as we travel with them on their adventure to "Be less Dickish". 

Coates is a therapist on a mission to help men figure things out so they are more successful in their relational and life endeavours.

Kilpack is a client who sought therapy to better understand his pitfalls and figure out a roadmap for a way out.

Together this duo have identified the following "douchebag" quadrants (their descriptor not mine!) that undermine one's best act in life.  I have used their subtitles which provide more information to help the listener recognize the struggle:

  • Aggression / Assertiveness (A-Hole)
  • Imitation / Service (Douchebag)
  • Victimization / Self-Care (Dick)
  • Submission / Surrender ("Pussy)

And in special cases "Piece of S..t"

Adding a touch of humor to each story, the authors describe crass, destructive and non-productive strategies that change overtime to reveal that growth can happen with insight, understanding and new behaviour approaches. 

We all have something to learn from their reflection on how these 4 (or is it really 5) characters who become triggered and learn to use the TRACE approach (Trigger, Reaction, Awareness, Curiosity and Experimentation) to increase self-awareness and behave more effectively, as a result.

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