Building Resilience: DBT Techniques for Overcoming Adoption-Related Challenges with Sharon Stein McNamara - Ep 184
Unraveling Adoption
"So the piece that I most resonate with the Dialectical Behavior Therapy is it's one of the therapies that really understands this core feeling of feeling overwhelmed and like you don't want to be alive." - Sharon Stein McNamara EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Sharon Stein McNamara, a licensed psychologist and adoption-competent therapist. Sharon, an adoptee herself, shared her personal journey and the profound impact of adoption on her life, particularly during her adolescent years when she faced suicidal thoughts after a breakup....
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Breathwork and Healing: A Journey Through Adoption Trauma with Kellan Bacon - Ep 183
Unraveling Adoption
"I was one of these slight skeptics; I was like, well I've been breathing all my life, what can breathwork do for me?" -- Kellan Bacon Hear the transcript of this episode here: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01JKBNQJYFFZT18Z0XSMHHTH37 EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Kellan Bacon, a gender-expansive, transracial adoptee from China, who was adopted as an infant in 1998 and now resides in Cardiff, Wales. Kellan has recently launched a professional practice called Kai Ming Holistics, where they utilize breathwork and other embodied...
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Responding to the Siren Call: Navigating Birth Family Connections with Susan Kiyo Ito - Ep 182
Unraveling Adoption
"I think she had a deep ambivalence about me, knowing me, having a relationship with me from the very beginning." -- Susan Kiyo Ito Read the transcript of this episode here: EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Susan Kiyo Ito, a writing professor and author of the memoir I Would Meet You Anywhere. Susan's book, a culmination of 30 years of work, explores her journey as a biracial adoptee—half Japanese and half white—who was adopted at three and a half months old by Japanese American parents. We delved into Susan's origin story, her...
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The Rebellious Adoptee: Finding Healing and Community After a Traumatic Childhood with Dave Sanchez-Brown - Ep 181
Unraveling Adoption
"The most healing thing for me now has been the support of other adoptees." -- Dave Sanchez-Brown Read the transcript of this episode here: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01JJD8EF1R7VJ6J0V5GXRWXJY4 =============== EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with Dave Sanchez-Brown, an adoptee who has bravely navigated the complexities of adoption, mental health struggles, and addiction. Dave shared his adoption story, which took a significant turn after he read Dani Shapiro's memoir Inheritance. Inspired, he decided to take a DNA test, leading...
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Adoption in India: Insights from an Adoptee Therapist with Dr. Asra Ali - Ep 180
Unraveling Adoption
"It's a deep rooted fear of every adoptive parent that the parent will get rejected." - Dr. Asra Ali Read the transcript of this episode here: =============== Join Unraveling Adoption's in-person Adoption Healing Quest in Seal Beach, CA on February 8, 2025. More info and registration here: =============== EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Dr. Asra Ali, an adoptee from India whose adoption was facilitated by Mother Teresa. Dr. Asra shared her unique adoption story, highlighting the positive experiences she had growing up in a loving...
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From Secrets to Self-Discovery: A Late Discovery Adoptee’s Story with Brad Ewell - Ep 179
Unraveling Adoption
"I was able to kind of reinvent myself into who I probably would have been at some level had I not been adopted." -- Brad Ewell Read the transcript: EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the honor of speaking with Brad Ewell, a late discovery adoptee (LDA) who learned about his adoption at the age of 48. Brad shared his shocking journey of self-discovery after taking an ancestry DNA test, which revealed a truth that had been hidden from him for nearly five decades. He discussed the confusion and betrayal he felt upon learning that everyone around him had known he was...
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REPLAY Behind the Scenes of Because She's Adopted: A Filmmaker's Journey with Kristal Parke - Ep 178
Unraveling Adoption
"I truly felt the weight of the world telling the story. I felt like it was a great responsibility, but I had to do it." -- Kristal Parke Read the Transcript here: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01JG7AR0SN4Y6M7WW6E7WEK0AT EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Kristal Parke, a talented filmmaker and adoptee, about her acclaimed documentary, Because She's Adopted. As we kick off 2025, we are excited to offer a replay of our conversation, which dives deep into the complexities of adoption and the personal journey Kristal undertook while...
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From Control to Acceptance: Parenting Through Grief with Jessica Fein - Ep 177
Unraveling Adoption
"We followed her lead. And so there was a lot of laughter and there was a lot of beauty." -- Jessica Fein Read the episode transcript here: EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with Jessica Fein, an adoptive mother and author of the memoir Breath Taking: A Memoir of Family, Dreams, and Broken Genes. Jessica shares her family's deeply moving and complex journey through adoption and the heartbreaking experience of losing her middle child, Dalia, to a rare genetic disorder. We began by discussing Jessica's family's path to adoption, which was...
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Unraveling the Layers of Childhood Trauma with Ron Jenkins - Ep 176
Unraveling Adoption
"I didn't realize how strong I was until, you know, I got into therapy and started to understand all the things that I've overcome." - Ron Jenkins Read the transcript of this episode here: EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with Ron Jenkins, a remarkable individual whose journey through the complexities of foster care and adoption is both harrowing and inspiring. Ron's story begins with the tragic loss of his mother as a young child, leading him and his siblings into the foster care system. He was eventually adopted by a woman who, rather...
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Abortion and Adoption: Insights from Sociological Research with Gretchen Sisson - Ep 175
Unraveling Adoption
"I use the language of supply and demand because this is a market-based system and it's uncomfortable for a lot of people, right? Because you're talking about a supply and demand of human beings." -- Gretchen Sisson Read the transcript here: EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Gretchen Sisson, the author of the acclaimed book Relinquished: The Politics of Adoption and the Privilege of American Motherhood. Gretchen's work stems from a decade-long qualitative sociological study that delves into the experiences of relinquishing...
info_outlineIn this week’s Unraveling Adoption podcast, Beth talks with Cindy Olson McQuay, an adoptee from Pennsylvania who is the co-founder, with Erin Cosentino, of Hiraeth Healing Retreats for Adoptees, DCPs (Donor Conceived People), LDAs (Late Discovery Adoptees), and NPEs (Not Parent Expected). Cindy is a baby scoop era domestic infant adoptee, and she had a rather idyllic childhood with well-informed and open adoptive parents, which was somewhat unusual at the time. Besides her work for Hiraeth, she advocates for adoption law reform and educates the public about separation trauma.
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📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
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RESOURCES:
Cindy’s information:
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Hiraeth Hope & Healing Retreats: https://www.hiraethhopeandhealing.com/
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Email: [email protected]
Other things mentioned in this episode:
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The Chosen Baby book from Cindy’s childhood: https://amzn.to/3FwgCdn
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The Girls Who Went Away by Ann Fessler: https://amzn.to/3JNM35j
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InterCountry Adoptee Voices (ICAV) with Lynelle Long: https://intercountryadopteevoices.com/
Other Resources:
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APtitude: A Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges - UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
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Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
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Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
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Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
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Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to [email protected]
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support UnravelingAdoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
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TIME STAMPS:
1:25 Cindy’s adoption story and childhood
6:40 Cindy’s search for her birth family
10:35 Does a “good adoption” preclude adoption trauma?
15:44 What prompted Cindy to become an adoption activist and search angel?
16:58 Adoption v. Guardianship
18:46 The problems with intercountry adoption and surrogacy
21:49 What is Hiraeth Hope & Healing?
25:25 The overlaps between adoptees, LDAs, DCPs, and NPEs
27:03 What do people experience at Hiraeth retreats?
31:40 Scholarships ARE available! And help them find mansions to host these retreats
35:17 Advice for non-adoptees and adoptive parents