Unraveling Adoption
An intentional space to delve into adoption's complexities together, hosted by adoptive mom and adoptee advocate Beth Syverson. She and her young adult son began this podcast to help other families with adoptees struggling with addiction and mental health issues. It features the voices of a diverse array of adoptees and (occasionally) others with unique perspectives on adoption. Unraveling Adoption aims to elevate family preservation as the ideal, and amplify the voices of the traditionally marginalized.
info_outline
Self-Realization through Memoir Writing with Monica Hall - Ep 138
03/25/2024
Self-Realization through Memoir Writing with Monica Hall - Ep 138
"I think that being an adoptee groomed me to relinquish my own child." -- Monica Hall 📘📘📘📘📘📘📘📘📘📘📘📘📘📘📘📘📘📘📘📘📘📘📘📘📘📘📘 📘WIN A FREE AUTOGRAPHED COPY OF MONICA'S BOOK📘 March's Book Giveaway: Practically Still a Virgin by Monica Hall There are 2 ways to enter to win an autographed copy: Rate & review Unraveling Adoption podcast on Apple or Spotify Become an Unraveling Adoption Patreon supporter (Patreon.com/unravelingadoption) The drawing will be held on Friday, March 29 at 10pm PST 📘📘📘📘📘📘📘📘📘📘📘📘📘📘📘📘📘📘📘📘📘📘📘📘📘📘📘 Transcript of this episode: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01HSM5N1067HY39ZRSGK11MB5T Podcast Episode Synopsis: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, host Beth Syverson welcomes guest Monica Hall, an adoptee and birth mother who has recently published her memoir titled Practically Still a Virgin: an Adoption Memoir. Monica shares her journey of healing and self-discovery through writing her memoir, which delves into the complexities of adoption, trauma, and family relationships. Monica opens up about her challenging childhood in Alaska, where she faced abuse and trauma within her adoptive family. She candidly discusses her experiences of relinquishing her daughter for adoption and the guilt and complexities that came with it. Through writing her memoir, Monica unravels layers of repressed memories and emotions, ultimately finding healing and clarity. The podcast episode highlights Monica's writing process, where she initially struggled with self-doubt and perfectionism but found guidance and support from a dedicated editor. Monica emphasizes the importance of allowing oneself to start writing without judgment and to embrace the process of uncovering deep-seated emotions and experiences. As Monica shares her personal journey of healing and self-discovery through writing, she encourages other adoptees and birth mothers to embark on their own memoir-writing journey. The episode concludes with a special giveaway of Monica's memoir, inviting listeners to participate by writing a review of the podcast or becoming a Patreon member. Listeners are encouraged to explore Monica's powerful memoir, Practically Still a Virgin, and to support her in sharing her story of resilience and growth. The episode serves as a poignant reminder of the transformative power of storytelling and the importance of finding healing through self-expression and reflection. =============== 📆 Community Calendar: ✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: =============== RESOURCES: Monica's Website: Other Resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Check out our website: Create your own podcast through Libsyn: Timestamps: 00:00:00 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption Podcast 00:05:30 - Overcoming Childhood Trauma and Identity Issues 00:09:25 - Starting the Memoir Writing Journey 00:16:08 - Writing Process and Reflections 00:20:46 - Uncovering Layers of Trauma and Family Relationships 00:24:18 - Recovery and Healing Journey 00:26:23 - Advice for Aspiring Memoir Writers 00:27:41 - Book Giveaway Announcement and Support for Unraveling Adoption Podcast
/episode/index/show/32e8963a-2d90-4f3c-97bb-64ac96ea387d/id/30506973
info_outline
Finding Family: "The Keepers and The Throwaways" with David R. Ford and Tibby Ford - Ep 137
03/18/2024
Finding Family: "The Keepers and The Throwaways" with David R. Ford and Tibby Ford - Ep 137
"I think adoptees who are going to go try to find their family have to recognize that... once you get into the process, you just have to roll with it, right? You have to be optimistic and hopeful and just play it out." -- David R. Ford Episode Synopsis In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, host Beth Syverson delves into the complexities of adoption alongside her guest, David R. Ford, an adoptee who reunited with his birth family 20 years ago. The episode explores the theme of family relationships, especially in the context of reunion with birth families. Beth introduces David as an adoptee who was adopted at birth through a private adoption handled by a lawyer. David shares his early childhood experiences and the limited information he had about his birth parents, including the revelation that he had a seven-year older brother. Despite not initially feeling the need to find his birth parents, David's journey to reconnect with his birth family began in his late 30s. Through a series of events, David eventually reunites with his birth mother and discovers he is one of seven children, four of whom were given up for adoption. The podcast delves into the complexities of navigating newfound relationships with siblings and birth family members, highlighting the challenges and joys that come with such reunions. Beth also brings on Tibby, David's wife, to provide insights into the experience of being a spouse navigating the complexities of adoption reunion. Tibby shares her perspective on the intense emotions and dynamics that come with welcoming new family members into their lives. The episode touches on the importance of supportive adoptive parents, the emotional toll of navigating difficult family dynamics, and the significance of maintaining core values and boundaries throughout the reunion process. David reflects on the metaphorical significance of the title of his memoir, "Blind in One Eye," and the journey of self-discovery and acceptance that comes with reuniting with one's birth family. As the episode wraps up, Beth encourages listeners to explore the resources and support available on the Unraveling Adoption website, emphasizing the importance of seeking guidance and validation in the adoption journey. The episode concludes with a message of staying safe and embracing authenticity in navigating the complexities of adoption and family relationships. =============== 📆 Community Calendar: ✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: =============== Resource Mentioned in this Episode: Contact David and find out more about his memoir Blind In One Eye at: Other Resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Check out our website: Create your own podcast through Libsyn: Timestamps Introduction to Unraveling Adoption: 00:00:02-00:00:13 David's Adoption Story: 00:01:23-00:02:57 David's Search for Birth Family: 00:03:29-00:06:41 Reunion with Birth Mother: 00:07:15-00:09:33 Relationship with Siblings: 00:10:04-00:12:40 Tibby's Perspective on Family Reunion: 00:15:18-00:17:02 Navigating Family Dynamics: 00:17:28-00:21:39 Book Title Explanation: 00:25:26-00:26:29 Closing Remarks and Resources: 00:27:19-00:28:46
/episode/index/show/32e8963a-2d90-4f3c-97bb-64ac96ea387d/id/30396353
info_outline
Unveiling Biracial Identity with Bethany Fraser - Ep 136
03/11/2024
Unveiling Biracial Identity with Bethany Fraser - Ep 136
"I was always trying to fit in and chameleon wherever I was." -- Bethany Fraser Transcript Read this episode's transcript: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, host Beth Syverson welcomes guest Bethany Fraser, an adoptee and host of The Adoptee Diaries podcast. The conversation delves into the complexities of adoption, focusing on the impact of secrets and identity issues within the adoption experience. Bethany shares her personal journey of discovering her biracial identity in her 40s, after a secret about her ethnicity was kept from her by her adoptive parents. The discussion explores the emotional and psychological effects of this deception on Bethany's identity, psyche, and relationships. Throughout the episode, Bethany reflects on her experience as an adoptee, highlighting the importance of truth, trust, and transparency in adoption. She emphasizes the need for adoptive parents to be open and honest with their children about their origins and ethnicity, to foster a sense of belonging and self-awareness. The conversation is candid and heartfelt, with both hosts sharing their vulnerabilities and insights into the complexities of adoption. Beth and Bethany aim to create a space for adoptees to share their stories and find support within the adoption community. =============== 📆 Community Calendar: ✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: =============== Resources mentioned in this episode: Find Bethany's podcast The Adoptee Diaries on your favorite podcast app or through this link: Find Bethany on Instagram here: Read an essay Bethany wrote for Barker Adoption Foundation: Other Resources APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Check out our website: Create your own podcast through Libsyn: TIME STAMPS: 00:00:02 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption 00:01:33 - Early Awareness of Adoption and Ethnicity 00:03:33 - Early Interactions with Other Adoptees 00:05:12 - Questioning Ethnic Identity 00:07:05 - Reflecting on Parents' Motivations 00:09:47 - Prompt to Discover Ethnicity 00:11:22 - Ancestry DNA Results Revealed 00:12:44 - Unpacking Cultural Layers 00:14:07 - Curiosity and Self-Identity 00:15:03 - Impact Before Discovering Truth 00:16:08 - Masking True Self 00:17:44 - Feeling Displaced 00:18:27 - Seeking Community and Support 00:20:30 - Advice for Adoptive Parents 00:22:37 - Discovery of Parents' Knowledge 00:24:04 - Emotional Impact of Revelation 00:25:37 - Launch of The Adoptee Diaries 00:27:31 - Encouragement for Adoptive Parents 00:29:08 - Call to Share and Support Unraveling Adoption
/episode/index/show/32e8963a-2d90-4f3c-97bb-64ac96ea387d/id/30263458
info_outline
Coming Out: LGBTQ+ Challenges in Adoption with Joe Toolan - Ep 135
03/04/2024
Coming Out: LGBTQ+ Challenges in Adoption with Joe Toolan - Ep 135
"I had to be OK with the fact that they might not accept me for who I am." - Joe Toolan Transcript Read this episode's transcript: Episode Summary In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, host Beth Syverson delves into the complexities of adoption through the lens of LGBTQ+ adoptees. Joined by guest Joe Toolan, a transracial, queer adoptee from Guatemala, the episode explores the unique challenges faced by LGBTQ+ individuals in the adoption process. Joe shares his personal journey of growing up in a conservative white family in Maryland, navigating his identity as a queer, Latine, indigenous, transracial adoptee. He reflects on the struggles of coming out to his adoptive family and the impact it had on their relationship. The episode highlights the importance of support and acceptance for LGBTQ+ adoptees, emphasizing the need for adoptive parents to create a safe and affirming environment for their children. Resources such as PFLAG, the Trevor Project, and GLSEN are recommended for allies and family members seeking to educate themselves and support LGBTQ+ individuals. As Joe recounts his reunion with his birth family in Guatemala, the episode showcases the power of authenticity and self-acceptance in building meaningful connections. Despite initial concerns about acceptance, Joe's birth mother's unconditional love and support demonstrate the transformative impact of embracing one's true identity. Listeners are encouraged to engage with the LGBTQ+ adoptee community, seek support from advocacy organizations, and participate in upcoming events like the town hall meeting addressing the safety and well-being of adopted children. Through heartfelt storytelling and insightful conversations, Unraveling Adoption provides a compassionate and informative platform for exploring the intersection of adoption and LGBTQ+ identities, fostering understanding and empathy for all individuals touched by adoption. Resources mentioned in this episode Contact Joe through Instagram at Find help for LGBTQ+ people and their allies here: PFLAG: The Trevor Project: GLSEN: Guatemalan adoptees can find support through the organization Joe works with, Adoptees of Guatemalan Roots: Attend the Town Hall meeting on Sunday, March 10, 2024, to discuss adoptee murders and what we can do to keep our community's adopted children safe. Other Resources APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Check out our website: Create your own podcast through Libsyn: =============== 📆 Community Calendar: ✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: =============== Timestamps: 00:00:02 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption 00:01:15 - Embracing LGBTQ+ Voices 00:01:37 - Early Childhood and Adoption Story 00:02:14 - Growing Up in a Conservative Community 00:03:35 - Coming Out as LGBTQ+ 00:04:39 - Navigating Relationships After Coming Out 00:05:03 - Challenges of Coming Out Again in Reunion 00:05:42 - Support Systems and Role Models 00:06:57 - Finding Community in College 00:07:53 - Coming Out to Friends 00:08:14 - Struggles with Family Acceptance 00:09:00 - Navigating Authenticity and Acceptance 00:10:10 - Parental Acceptance and Support 00:11:18 - Curiosity About Birth Family 00:12:29 - Beginning the Search for Biological Family 00:13:55 - Receiving Information from Adoptee Groups 00:14:58 - Reunion Process Initiation 00:15:48 - Emotional Response to Reunion News 00:16:00 - Initial Contact with Birth Family 00:17:00 - Concerns About Reunion and Acceptance 00:18:27 - Authenticity in Reunion Process 00:19:00 - Emotional Reunion Moment 00:20:36 - Acceptance and Unconditional Love 00:21:23 - Connecting with LGBTQ+ Adoptee Communities 00:22:18 - Resources for LGBTQ+ Support 00:23:05 - Advice for Adoptive Parents 00:24:46 - Connecting with the Guest 00:25:26 - Invitation to Town Hall Meeting
/episode/index/show/32e8963a-2d90-4f3c-97bb-64ac96ea387d/id/30195388
info_outline
Food Behaviors and Adoption Trauma with Rebecca Berg - Ep 134
02/26/2024
Food Behaviors and Adoption Trauma with Rebecca Berg - Ep 134
"The root of the work, I would say, is really slowing down and learning how to sit with the discomfort of different sensations in the body." -- Rebecca Berg Transcript Read this episode's transcript: Synopsis In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Rebecca Berg, a registered dietitian and adoptee who specializes in the intersection of adoption and food behaviors. Rebecca shared her personal journey of overcoming orthorexia and how early childhood trauma can manifest in issues around food. We delved into the complexities of adoption trauma and its impact on food relationships, highlighting the importance of understanding the connection between food and emotional well-being. Rebecca emphasized the need for adoptees to feel connected to their bodies and prioritize self-care, especially when dealing with stress and anxiety. She discussed the concept of "safe foods" for children with trauma histories and the importance of creating a structured and consistent meal environment to promote a sense of safety and security. As an adoptive parent, Rebecca provided valuable insights on supporting adopted children with food issues, emphasizing the significance of co-regulation and offering familiar, comforting foods to build trust and stability. She also introduced the concept of "body doubling" as a supportive technique for individuals struggling with nutrition and mental health challenges. Throughout the episode, Rebecca highlighted the importance of seeking professional help from registered dietitians with expertise in mental health and eating disorders. She shared practical advice for adoptive parents and individuals struggling with food-related issues, emphasizing the need for patience, self-compassion, and a willingness to explore and experiment with different approaches to nutrition and well-being. The episode concluded with a reminder to join the upcoming town hall meeting on March 10th to address the serious issue of murders of adopted children by adoptive parents and brainstorm ways to create safer environments for adopted children in our communities. Overall, the episode provides valuable insights into the complex relationship between adoption, trauma, and food behaviors, offering practical strategies for individuals and families navigating these challenges. Timestamps Introduction to Unraveling Adoption: 00:00:02-00:00:13 Exploring the Intersection of Adoption and Food Behaviors: 00:00:46-00:00:56 Personal Journey of an Adoptee and Registered Dietitian: 00:04:12-00:05:57 Understanding Orthorexia and Recovery: 00:05:05-00:06:07 Impact of Anxiety and Trauma on Eating Behaviors: 00:08:17-00:09:48 Becoming a Registered Dietitian: 00:10:06-00:11:29 Challenges and Nuances of Food Issues: 00:12:27-00:13:22 Strategies for Grounding and Regulation: 00:14:40-00:15:56 Body Doubling and Supportive Techniques: 00:15:56-00:16:44 Advice for Adoptive Parents on Food Issues: 00:17:02-00:19:00 Importance of Safe Foods and Feeding Practices: 00:19:10-00:20:17 Seeking Help and Professional Support: 00:20:38-00:22:51 Upcoming Event and Call to Action: 00:23:01-00:24:07 Resources mentioned in this episode Contact Rebecca at . Find Rebecca on Instagram at Follow Rebecca on Facebook @No Strings Nutrition: Attend the Town Hall meeting on Sunday, March 10, 2024, to discuss adoptee murders and what we can do to keep our community's adopted children safe. Other Resources APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Check out our website: Create your own podcast through Libsyn:
/episode/index/show/32e8963a-2d90-4f3c-97bb-64ac96ea387d/id/30087543
info_outline
A Disappeared Adoptee Reunites with Revolutionary Roots - with Nelson de Witt - Ep 133
02/19/2024
A Disappeared Adoptee Reunites with Revolutionary Roots - with Nelson de Witt - Ep 133
My adoptive father talked about it as my birthright to go back to Central America. I really like that framing. So I think that was part of the reason why they let me go on so many trips and that was such a wonderful experience. - Nelson de Witt Discover the shocking truth about Nelson de Witt's journey to uncover his past after being adopted from Central America. His story is a heart-wrenching tale of forced disappearances, political strife, and the courage to face the truth. Nelson's experiences will leave you in awe and disbelief as he navigates the complexities of adoption and the impact of historical and cultural tragedies. Stay tuned to learn more about Nelson's daring quest for truth and how it continues to shape his life today. In this episode, you will be able to: Understand the impact of forced disappearances on families in Central and South America. Explore the complexities of political conflicts in Central America and how it impacted him as an adopted person. Dive into the importance of understanding historical and cultural contexts of adoptees' early lives. =============== 📆 Community Calendar: ✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: =============== My special guest is Nelson de Witt Nelson de Witt, also known as Nelson/Roberto, is an advocate and survivor of El Salvador's civil war. He experienced a forced disappearance as a one-year-old and was reunited with his birth family at the age of 16. Nelson's personal story sheds light on the impact of forced disappearances on families. Through his experiences, he brings a unique perspective that helps to unravel the complexities of adoption and the historical and cultural context of the forced disappearances in Central and South America. His insights and advocacy work contribute to a greater understanding of the profound effects of such events on those involved - adopted or not. The resources mentioned in this episode are: Visit Nelson/Roberto's website at to learn more about his documentary film Identifying Nelson/Buscando Roberto and his book Waking from Innocent Dreams. Check out the book Missing Mila, Finding Family written by Nelson's adoptive mother, which provides her perspective on the adoption story: Keep an eye out for Nelson's upcoming story workshops for adoptees, which he may be launching publicly later in the year. Follow Nelson on Instagram at Impact of Forced Disappearances Influenced by social, political, and personal factors, forced disappearances have far-reaching impacts on families and societies. The individuals left behind wrestle with prolonged uncertainty, emotional distress, and other psychological ramifications. Being aware of the deep emotional trauma fostered by forced disappearances aids us in comprehending the resilience shown by survivors and provides better support and understanding to those affected. Political Conflicts in Central America Historical instances of political unrest in Central America have resulted in numerous human rights violations, including forced disappearances. These conflicts are multifaceted, characterized by fluid alliances, entrenched inequality, and differing ideological perspectives. By understanding these complexities, we gain a deeper insight into the atmosphere that gives rise to phenomena such as forced disappearances and how these events impact individuals and communities. =============== Other Resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Check out our website: Create your own podcast through Libsyn: =============== Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:00:00 - Introduction and Background Beth introduces the podcast and herself as an adoptive mom, along with her guest Nelson de Witt. Nelson shares his experience of being separated from his birth family during El Salvador's civil war and being reunited with them at the age of 16. 00:01:09 - Growing Up and Discovery Nelson talks about growing up in his adoptive family, being told he was adopted, and the mystery surrounding his adoption. He shares the shocking news of being reunited with his biological family and the intense emotions and overwhelming experience of meeting them for the first time. 00:04:18 - Adoption and Reunion Nelson's adoptive parents share the harrowing discovery of Nelson's origins, including his parents being revolutionaries in the civil war, the kidnapping of a businessman, and the tragic events that led to Nelson being put up for adoption in the United States. 00:10:30 - Complexities of Central American History Nelson delves into the complex history of conflict in Central America, highlighting the repressive government, violent suppression of activists, and the desperate measures people took to fight back, including taking up arms as a last resort. 00:13:26 - The Disappeared and Forced Disappearances Nelson explains the term "disappeared" and its origin, detailing how individuals were forcibly abducted by the state as a tactic of fear or intimidation during the civil war in El Salvador. He also shares personal accounts of friends who were taken at gunpoint. 00:14:40 - Forced Disappearance in Central and South America Nelson discusses the backdrop of the term "disappeared" (Desaparacido) and the cultural significance rooted in families missing loved ones. Over 100,000 people have been forcibly disappeared since 1950, with the majority presumed dead. 00:16:08 - The Unresolved Mystery Nelson shares his experience of being reunited with his birth father at 16, who knew about his survival and adoption but had no idea about what happened to his wife and child. The unresolved fate of his birth mother is a lingering question. 00:18:27 - Reconnecting with Birth Family Nelson reflects on his incredible journey of reuniting with his birth family and the challenges and excitement of embracing a new culture. He acknowledges the support and difficulty faced by his adoptive parents throughout the process. 00:21:26 - The Nature of Adoption Nelson emphasizes the importance of acknowledging an adoptee's history and roots, beyond the nurture received from adoptive parents. He shares the positive impact of being allowed to explore his birthright in Central America. 00:25:19 - Continuing Issue of Forced Disappearances The conversation ends on a poignant note as Nelson highlights the ongoing issue of forced disappearances in Central and South America to this day. He calls for awareness and support to make necessary changes.
/episode/index/show/32e8963a-2d90-4f3c-97bb-64ac96ea387d/id/29987908
info_outline
Perspectives from a Former Foster Youth and Adoptive Parent with Alicia Murray - Ep 132
02/12/2024
Perspectives from a Former Foster Youth and Adoptive Parent with Alicia Murray - Ep 132
Love is an action. It's not always pink and it's not always red. Sometimes it gets black, sometimes it gets blue. But love is an action. - Alicia Murray In this episode, you will be able to: Explore the challenges of foster care and adoption journeys. Discover the profound importance of sibling connections in adoption. Embrace the value of openness in adoption and birth family connections. Find out how to provide essential post-adoption services and support. Uncover the challenges and realities of adopting older children. My special guest is Alicia Murray Our guest, Alicia Murray, brings a wealth of firsthand experience in the adoption landscape. Having been adopted at the age of ten after navigating through seven different foster placements, Alicia's journey offers a unique perspective on the challenges of adoption, particularly when it comes to older children. With a background in psychology and a current role as a family support specialist, Alicia's insights are rooted in both personal experience and professional expertise. Her work in helping foster youth find permanency further solidifies her credibility as an advocate in the adoption community. Plus she's now an adoptive mom of two sibling toddlers herself. Alicia joins us to shed light on the realities and complexities of adopting older children, offering valuable knowledge and empathy to our discussion. =============== 📆 Community Calendar: ✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: =============== The resources mentioned in this episode are: Email Alicia at for any questions or inquiries about their programs and services. Visit to explore an array of resources, events, programs, and support groups for adoptive families, teens, and everyone involved in the adoption process. Find AFFCNY on Instagram as @AFFCNY, ; and on Facebook as @Adoptive and Foster Family Coalition of New York, Explore the resources and support provided by Wendy's Wonderful Kids, a nonprofit organization collaborating with AFFCNY to help older adopted youth find permanent placement: Beth's wonderful life coach, Heather Ross, has a podcast plus individual and group coaching: =============== Embrace openness in adoption A conversation with Alicia Murray unveils the transformative power of openness in adoption. She conveys a strong need for adoptive families to support a child’s connection with their biological roots, affirming it’s crucial for maintaining their sense of identity and well-being. With Alicia’s encouraging perspective, it becomes evident that embracing openness in adoption does not necessarily divide love but multiplies it, fostering a nurturing environment for the child's overall development. =============== Other Resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Check out our website: Create your own podcast through Libsyn: =============== Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:00:00 - Introduction and Background Beth Syverson introduces herself as an adoptive mom and certified coach. Guest, Alicia Murray, shares her experience of being adopted at age ten after multiple foster placements. 00:00:51 - Alicia's Foster Experience Alicia describes her tumultuous experience of being in multiple foster placements and finally being adopted at age ten. She also shares the challenges of being separated from her brother and the difficulties in finding a permanent home. 00:04:17 - Reconnecting with Biological Family Alicia recounts the complicated story of reconnecting with her biological family at the age of 13, including finding her grandmother's phone number in the yellow pages and the emotional reunion with her mother. 00:11:20 - Finding Purpose and Healing Alicia shares her journey of healing and finding purpose through therapy, introspection, and pursuing a career in foster care and adoption. She reflects on how her own experiences have shaped her approach as a foster and adoptive parent. 00:13:37 - Fostering and Adoption Journey Alicia discusses her initial intention to become a foster parent, her unexpected journey of adopting two siblings, and the challenges and joys of raising them as part of her own family. 00:14:07 - Importance of Open Adoption Alicia discusses the benefits of openness in adoption for children, emphasizing the importance of knowing their lineage and feeling like a whole human as adults. 00:15:53 - Challenges of Closed Adoption Alicia highlights the negative impact of closed adoptions, where adoptive parents cut off communication with the child once they become adults, leading to resentment and lack of trust. 00:17:33 - Building Relationships with Birth Parents Alicia shares her experiences of maintaining a relationship with the birth mother and the challenges of navigating visits, emphasizing the importance of communication and respect in the co-parenting dynamic. 00:21:29 - Post-Adoption Support Services Alicia explains her role as a family support specialist, providing post-adoptive families with a range of services and support, including therapy, groups, and resources, to help them navigate the complexities of adoption. 00:25:25 - Empathy and Triggering Alicia discusses her personal experiences as an adoptee and foster child, and how it influences her empathy and approach to supporting adoptive families dealing with challenging situations. 00:27:51 - Challenges of Adoptive Parenting Alicia discusses the challenges adoptive parents face, including the reality of dealing with issues such as sexual acting out, addiction, and trauma-related behaviors in older adopted children. She emphasizes the importance of being prepared and having realistic expectations. 00:29:29 - Impact of Relinquishment Trauma Alicia highlights the lasting impact of relinquishment trauma on adopted children, regardless of when it occurred. She emphasizes the need for love and support, acknowledging that the journey may have ups and downs, but connection is crucial for healing. 00:30:19 - The Journey of Older Adopted Children Beth shares her personal experience of navigating through challenging years with her adopted child and the transformation she witnessed as he's grown into adulthood. She stresses the importance of support and understanding for older adopted children, as well as the ongoing learning process for parents. 00:32:35 - Support for Adoptive Families Alicia discusses the resources and support provided by her organization, AFFCNY, for adoptive parents, foster parents, and teens. She encourages listeners to explore the services available and consider contributing to the nonprofit organizations, AFFCNY, and Wendy's Wonderful Kids, to help support their initiatives. 00:33:46 - Importance of Inclusion and Support Beth and Alicia express the importance of including the voices of older adopted children in conversations about adoption and advocating for their needs. They emphasize the significance of understanding the complexities of adoption and supporting organizations that work towards enhancing the lives of adoptees and foster youth.
/episode/index/show/32e8963a-2d90-4f3c-97bb-64ac96ea387d/id/29883298
info_outline
A Twice-Adopted Person’s Path Toward Wholeness with Julian Washio-Collette - Ep 131
02/05/2024
A Twice-Adopted Person’s Path Toward Wholeness with Julian Washio-Collette - Ep 131
"I started meditating a lot, and eventually doing retreats, eventually going to monasteries, spending some time in a Zen Buddhist meditation center. So, yeah, I think that's kind of where I took my pain, my anguish, my existential questions, and I think there's some ambiguity there. I think there's also a kind of escapism, because I didn't know how to connect with the world or address questions that other people my age were addressing. Like livelihood, relationships, family. I just sat on a cushion." - Julian Washio Collette Can you imagine the weight of not belonging and carrying the trauma of multiple abandonments? The struggle to find a sense of identity and stability after being adopted and then relinquished and adopted again is incredibly challenging. The lack of control over your own story and the feeling of being failed by the system can leave deep emotional scars. Julian's life story will help you understand the impacts of relinquishment, and will make you aware of the importance of finding support and community to help navigate the complexities of adoption. =============== 📆 Community Calendar: ✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: =============== In this episode, you will be able to: Understand the unique challenges of being a double adoptee and how it shapes one's identity. Explore the profound impact of abandonment and abuse on adoptees and their journey to healing. Gain insight into the complexities of adoption and the importance of understanding its nuances. Discover the need for better support systems for adoptees and how it can positively impact their lives. Learn about the lifelong impact of multiple abandonments and how it shapes the adoptee's perspective and experiences. My special guest is Julian Washio-Collette Julian Washio-Collette, a former Catholic monk currently residing in Portland, Oregon, is our guest for this episode. As a double adoptee, Julian's personal journey of being adopted as an infant and then again at the age of nine provides a unique perspective on the complexities of adoption. With a passion for writing about spirituality, adoption, and healing, Julian's insights and experiences contribute to a deeper understanding of the challenges faced by individuals impacted by adoption or abandonment. His story sheds light on the resilience and strength needed to navigate such intricate circumstances, making him a valuable voice in the conversation around adoption. =============== The resources mentioned in this episode are: Visit Julian's blog site called Peregrine Adoptee to read his insightful writings about spirituality, adoption, and healing: Explore the Unraveling Adoption website to find information about upcoming events, webinars, and workshops related to adoption and healing, including Mee Ok Icaro's upcoming webinar about Sacred Plant Medicine 101 for the Adoption Constellation: =============== Other Resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: =============== Unique Challenges of Double Adoptees The unique challenges faced by double adoptees like Julian Washio-Collette are centered around the absence of family continuity and frequent displacement. The uncertainty, disconnection, and confusion induced by double adoptions can leave deep psychological scars. Their unprecedented experiences urge us to shed light on the hidden complexities of double adoption and foster understanding about their distinct needs and perspectives. =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Check out our website: Create your own podcast through Libsyn: =============== Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:00:00 - Introduction and Background Beth introduces herself as an adoptive mom and certified coach. Julian's background as a double adoptee is highlighted, setting the stage for a complex and impactful story. 00:01:21 - Julian's Early Life Julian shares details about his first adoption and the secrecy surrounding his birth and early years. The lack of information about his early life creates a sense of fuzziness and identity dissonance. 00:05:16 - Second Adoption and Family Dynamics Julian recounts the circumstances of his second adoption at the age of nine and the abusive environment in his second adoptive family. The lack of support and bond with his adoptive parents led to a feeling of survival mode for both him and his sister. 00:09:29 - Support Systems and Coping Mechanisms Beth and Julian discuss the absence of support for him from social workers, teachers, and extended family members. Julian's coping mechanisms, including withdrawal, guilt, and finding solace in punk music and skateboarding, are highlighted. 00:11:55 - Surviving and Coping Julian reflects on how he navigated through his challenging childhood, highlighting the lack of genuine bond with his adoptive parents and the role of music and skateboarding as outlets for emotional expression and physical activity. 00:13:32 - Early Years and Spiritual Exploration Julian shares his journey from skateboarding and punk rock shows to discovering healing and spirituality. He discusses his involvement in 12-step programs and Zen Buddhist meditation before becoming a Catholic monk. 00:15:28 - Escaping Into Spirituality Julian reflects on using meditation and retreats as a way to escape from addressing societal and personal questions. He discusses his codependent relationships and the concept of "abandaholic." 00:17:13 - Transition to Catholicism and Monastic Life Julian describes his intuitive decision to join a Catholic monastery and the impactful spiritual experience he had there. He explains his connection to the writings of Julian of Norwich and the significance of choosing the name Julian. 00:19:24 - Cultural Inheritance and Homecoming Julian shares his experience of feeling a sense of homecoming to his native religion and cultural heritage at the monastery. He discusses the power of symbolism, rituals, and the impact of his Italian background on his spiritual journey. 00:23:19 - The Impact of Closed Adoptions Julian discusses the lack of care and concern within the adoption system, highlighting the failures of the closed adoption process. He emphasizes the need for change and the impact on both adoptees and birth mothers.
/episode/index/show/32e8963a-2d90-4f3c-97bb-64ac96ea387d/id/29778558
info_outline
Breaking Free: Reclaiming Identity as an Intercountry Adoptee with Sariah Baker - Ep 130
01/27/2024
Breaking Free: Reclaiming Identity as an Intercountry Adoptee with Sariah Baker - Ep 130
“I think for adoptees, my biggest advice for them is to ask if you need something. Whether it be therapy, whether it's understanding your story, whether it's being able to know your identity, ask. And if they don't want to tell you, keep asking.” -- Sariah Baker In this episode, you will be able to: Understand the profound influence of adoption trauma on self-identity and self-worth. Discover the unique struggles and triumphs faced by intercountry adoptees in the LGBTQ+ community. Recognize the pivotal role adoptive parents play in supporting the unique needs and experiences of intercountry adoptees. Learn about effective therapeutic approaches that empower intercountry adoptees to navigate their complex identities and experiences. Observe a journey of self-discovery and personal growth as an intercountry adoptee sheds limiting labels and societal expectations. =============== 📆 Community Calendar: ✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: =============== My special guest is Sariah Baker Sariah Baker, a 31-year-old human resources manager living in Portland, Oregon, brings a unique perspective to the complexities of intercountry and interracial adoption. As an intercountry adoptee from China, raised in a white Mormon family, Sariah's story delves into the intricate layers of identity she has navigated throughout her life. Her experiences offer valuable insights into the challenges and triumphs of finding and embracing one's true identity. The resources mentioned in this episode are: Subscribe to Sariah's YouTube channel The Adoptee Apostate for insightful content and poetry readings related to adoption, identity, and personal growth: Follow Sariah on TikTok at The Adoptee Apostate for engaging and thought-provoking videos on adoption, mental health, and self-discovery: Connect with Sariah on Instagram at The Adoptee Apostate for updates on her journey, poetry, and discussions on adoption and identity: Here’s the book Sariah mentioned about her Chinese orphanage, Death by Default: A Policy of Fatal Neglect in China's State Orphanages: Adoption Mosaic is a wonderful organization, headed by Astrid Castro, to support adoptees: Other resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: =============== Uncovering the Impact of Adoption Trauma Adoption trauma can have long-lasting effects on an adoptee. It can shake one's self-perception and fuel internal struggles, particularly in relation to identity. Helping adoptees navigate and heal from such trauma requires understanding, patience, and therapeutic intervention. Embracing the Vital Role of Adoptive Parents Adoptive parents play a crucial role in mitigating the impacts of adoption trauma and providing an accepting space for their children. They hold the responsibility of fostering open communication, providing emotional support, and celebrating the unique backgrounds of their adoptees. Proper understanding and support from adoptive parents can significantly aid in an adoptee's journey towards self-acceptance and self-discovery. =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Check out our website: Create your own podcast through Libsyn: =============== Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:00:00 - Introduction and Background Beth introduces the podcast and the guest, Sariah Baker, an intercountry adoptee from China raised in a white Mormon family. Sariah briefly shares her background and the circumstances of her adoption. 00:02:47 - Challenges of Adoption Sariah discusses the complexities of her adoption, including the traumatic experiences in the orphanage and the challenges of being raised in a white Mormon family as a Chinese adoptee. 00:06:53 - Struggles with Identity and Trauma Sariah shares her struggles with trauma, perfectionism, and navigating her sexuality within the context of her Mormon upbringing, leading to emotional pain and self-medication with large quantities of Ibuprofen. 00:10:15 - Seeking Help and Recovery Sariah recounts seeking help for her mental health struggles and the impact of institutional treatment on breaking free from perfectionism and allowing herself to feel emotions. 00:11:28 - The Dangers of Self-Medication Sariah and Beth discuss the dangers of self-medication with Ibuprofen, highlighting the need for parents to secure over-the-counter medications and the underlying psychological need for control in such situations. 00:12:04 - Overcoming Struggles with Therapy Sariah shares her experience with therapy, including DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) and talk therapy, to overcome feelings of perfectionism and unmask her true self. 00:13:24 - Faith Crisis and Identity Struggle Sariah discusses her struggle with her faith and identity crisis, including grappling with her sexuality and the impact of her environment on her mental health. 00:14:37 - Battle with Bipolar Disorder Sariah opens up about her battle with bipolar disorder, including her suicide attempt and the importance of seeking help. 00:19:39 - Search for Birth Family Sariah talks about her ongoing journey to find her birth family, including her experience with DNA testing and the challenges she faces in this quest for self-discovery. 00:22:53 - Family Support and Validation Sariah reflects on the lack of support and validation from her adoptive family in her search for her birth family, emphasizing the importance of understanding and support in an adoptee's journey of self-discovery. 00:23:57 - Responsibilities of Adoptive Parents Sariah and Beth discuss the important responsibilities of adoptive parents, emphasizing the need for a holistic approach to supporting the emotional and healing needs of adopted children, as well as being prepared for potential reunions and therapy. 00:25:08 - Challenges of Intercountry Adoption Sariah and the host discuss the unexpected challenges and expenses of intercountry adoption, including the need for multiple trips to the child's country of origin, potential reunions, and therapy. They highlight the importance of adoptive parents being prepared for these aspects. 00:28:25 - Cultural Awareness and Identity Sariah shares her experience of growing up in a predominantly white and Mormon culture, where her Chinese identity and culture were not fully integrated. She discusses the impact of not being encouraged to explore her cultural heritage and the implications for adoptees. 00:31:56 - Family Dynamics and Healing Sariah reflects on her complex relationship with her adoptive family, expressing a desire for a more nurturing and supportive dynamic. She discusses the challenges of navigating her trauma and seeking acknowledgment and understanding from her family. 00:34:04 - Challenges of Identity and Acceptance Sariah delves into the challenges of navigating her identity as a former Mormon, her sexuality, and the pressure to conform to societal expectations. She shares her struggle with feeling judged by her family and the difficulty of making personal choices. 00:35:42 - Impact of self-talk and internal struggles Sariah discusses the unhealthy impact of self-talk and the internal struggles she faces as an adoptee, including feelings of being a bad person and the trauma of abandonment. 00:36:33 - Adoptive parents' reinforcement and expectations Sariah shares how adoptive parents' reinforcement and expectations can contribute to an adoptee's struggle with identity and acceptance, highlighting the challenges of being gay in a conservative environment. 00:37:28 - Prioritizing self-needs and coping mechanisms Sariah talks about prioritizing her own needs and shares coping mechanisms, including the use of poetry as a way to express emotions and the concept of the "backpack of truths" to acknowledge and accept oneself. 00:40:34 - Breaking free from societal labels Sariah reflects on breaking free from societal labels and embracing her authentic self, emphasizing the importance of personal growth and self-acceptance as an adoptee with multiple identities. Sariah shares a hopeful poem she wrote called “Walls Versus Gates.” 00:44:28 - Advice for adoptees and self-discovery Sariah offers advice for adoptees to seek understanding of their identity and emphasizes the importance of self-discovery and self-acceptance, encouraging others to explore their truths and seek support in their journey.
/episode/index/show/32e8963a-2d90-4f3c-97bb-64ac96ea387d/id/29670633
info_outline
Helping Adoptees Heal from Addiction's Grasp With David Bohl - Ep 129
01/22/2024
Helping Adoptees Heal from Addiction's Grasp With David Bohl - Ep 129
"Change can happen incrementally, and oftentimes it's better that it does. We've heard the cliche 'trust the process.' Oftentimes the process is the most important thing." - David Bohl Join relinquishee/adoptee recovery coach David Bohl as he confronts the paradox of finding trust and healing in the intersection of adoption and addiction. He guides individuals towards healthy coping mechanisms and support in the face of deep-rooted trauma. In this episode, you will be able to: Understand the possible impacts of adoption trauma on mental health and addiction. Embrace TRUST as a key component in the journey to recovery. Explore the unique challenges of addiction for adopted people. Find safe and supportive communities for healing and growth. My special guest is David Bohl Meet David B. Bohl, an expert in addiction and adoption, whose personal journey through addiction recovery and exploration of the complex intersection between adoption and addiction brings a unique blend of empathy and expertise to our conversation. With a background that includes serving on the boards of prominent addiction and adoption organizations and receiving credentials from esteemed organizations like the Hazelton Betty Ford Graduate School of Addiction Studies, David's insights are informed, compassionate, and relatable. His memoir, Parallel Universes, and nonfiction book, Relinquishment and Addiction: What Trauma Has to Do with It, not only solidify his expertise but also highlight his commitment to providing support for individuals affected by adoption and addiction. David's balanced approach to destigmatizing addiction and promoting recovery reflects his genuine passion for helping others navigate their healing journey. 📆 Community Calendar: ✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: The resources mentioned in this episode are: To find David Bohl's recovery coaching services, visit his website at or Google his name with the middle initial B to find his many resources online. Buy David’s memoir Parallel Universes: The Story of Rebirth: Check out the book David wrote with Jamie Marich, Relinquishment and Addiction: What Trauma Has to Do With It: Here’s Jamie Marich’s book Trauma and the 12 Steps: Paul Sunderland's excellent video "Addiction & Adoption: Remembered Not Recalled" can be found here: Celia Center has a facilitated adoption constellation addiction group, led by David, that meets every other Tuesday. Find more information here: To sign up for the Untangling Our Roots Summit in Denver in April 2024, visit the event's website for registration details. For adoptive parents interested in coaching groups, visit or email Beth at for more information on upcoming coaching groups or individual coaching sessions. If you're an adoptee, birth parent, adoptive parent, or ally looking for support groups or events, visit . I maintain a Community Calendar listing there with dozens of support groups for the adoption constellation. =============== Other Resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Check out our website: Create your own podcast through Libsyn: =============== Embracing trust in recovery - David emphasizes the crucial role of trust in recovery. From his own experiences, he realized that as an adoptee he had struggled to trust himself, others, and Higher Powers. His recovery journey was initiated by a process of rebuilding trust and finding healthier ways to deal with life's stressors. This topic is important as it underscores the concept that trust serves as a fundamental pillar in the path to recovery. =============== Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:00:00 - Introduction and Background Beth introduces herself, and acknowledges her and her son Joe's commitment to helping those impacted by adoption. She also introduces David Bohl as a guest who has struggled and recovered from addiction. 00:01:00 - David's Adoption Story and Addiction David shares his adoption story of being relinquished at birth and adopted, as well as his struggles with alcohol and nicotine addiction. He highlights the impact of trust issues stemming from his relinquishment and adoption experiences. 00:03:42 - Destigmatizing Addiction David discusses the need to destigmatize addiction and use everyday language to describe and address addiction issues. He emphasizes the importance of building trust and using more accepting language in recovery programs. 00:07:29 - Recovery and Identity Formation David shares his journey of recovery, emphasizing the expansion of his identity from a disconnected individual to someone who has learned healthy coping mechanisms and repaired fractured relationships. He highlights the ongoing process of identity formation in recovery. 00:08:52 - Understanding Relinquishment and Addiction Beth expresses empathy for the depth of pain experienced by relinquished individuals and acknowledges the tough challenge of dealing with disconnection from a young age. David emphasizes that addiction is simply a problem to be solved and discusses the need for understanding and support in addressing addiction issues. 00:12:08 - Importance of Safe Communities and Validation David emphasizes the importance of finding safe communities and getting validated in adoption spaces. He explains how it allows individuals to understand different perspectives and get to know themselves better, but also highlights that it is just the minimum needed to start healing. 00:13:26 - Stabilizing the Situation David discusses the need to stabilize the situation in addiction treatment, emphasizing the importance of eliminating unhealthy behaviors and perceptions while enhancing one's ability to feel good about themselves and their place in the world. He stresses the need for careful discussions and robust community support. 00:15:04 - Addiction and Adoption Constellation Support Group David shares insights about the addiction and adoption constellation support group he runs with Celia Center. He explains the purpose of the group, emphasizing the importance of creating a safe place, validating experiences, and facilitating robust discussions within the adoption constellation community. 00:18:33 - Resources and Support for the Adoption Constellation David discusses the availability of resources and support for the adoption constellation community, emphasizing the importance of raising awareness, providing psychoeducation, and letting people know about the various resources that now exist, especially through virtual platforms like Zoom. 00:20:32 - Helping Adopted Individuals in Addiction David shares his approach to helping adopted individuals struggling with addiction, emphasizing the importance of finding someone to trust, getting clear on what's working and what's not, setting up goals, identifying outcomes, and providing resources and support to help individuals overcome their challenges 00:23:40 - Introduction to Recovery Coaching David Bohl discusses his role as a recovery consultant and coach, offering support and resources for those struggling with addiction. 00:24:50 - Reach Out for Help David emphasizes the importance of seeking help and finding resources that work for each individual, encouraging listeners to reach out and find support. 00:25:34 - Be Gentle with Yourself David shares a message of self-compassion and incremental change, reminding listeners to be gentle with themselves and trust the healing process. 00:26:30 - Coaching Groups for Adoptive Parents Beth invites adoptive parents to join coaching groups focused on supporting teens and young adults struggling with addiction, as well as nurturing identity and making connections for younger children. 00:27:39 - Conclusion and Call to Action Beth encourages listeners to share the episode with those who may benefit from the important discussion on addiction, and expresses gratitude to David for his wisdom and mentorship.
/episode/index/show/32e8963a-2d90-4f3c-97bb-64ac96ea387d/id/29523273
info_outline
Podcasting to Elevate Adoptee Voices with Sarah Reinhardt and Louise Browne - Ep 128
01/15/2024
Podcasting to Elevate Adoptee Voices with Sarah Reinhardt and Louise Browne - Ep 128
"Adoptive parents, go do your own work. It's kind of a natural birthright to know who you are." - Louise Browne Adoptive parents and allies: Do you want to better understand and support your adoptive child's experiences? Our guests, adoptees Sarah Reinhardt and Louise Browne, will be sharing valuable insights and guidance on how to gain a deeper understanding and provide the support that adoptees need to thrive. By listening to their stories - and other adoptees' stories they share on their Adoption: The Making of Me podcast episodes - you can gain a deeper understanding and provide the necessary support for your adoptive child to flourish. Tune in to gain some new insights to support your adoptive child's journey. In this episode, you will be able to: Understand the unique challenges of adoption experiences. Explore the impact of secrecy and shame in adoption. Gain insight into adoptees' alternate realities and perspectives. Get the inside scoop about Sarah and Louise's friendship and their podcast, Adoption: The Making of Me. My special guests are Sarah Reinhardt and Louise Brownee Sarah Reinhardt and Louise Browne are the dynamic duo behind the podcast Adoption: The Making of Me. As adoptees themselves, they bring their personal stories and insights in a candid and relatable manner on their own pod. Through their podcast, they aim to unravel the complexities of adoption, offering a blend of humor, empathy, and raw honesty. Sarah and Louise's journey of coming "out of the fog" in real-time adds authenticity and depth to their discussions, making their podcast an invaluable resource for adoptive parents and allies seeking to understand and support their children's experiences. Get ready to dive into their fascinating stories and gain a deeper understanding of adoption through their eyes. And find out more about their podcast's background and hopes for the future. =============== 📆 Community Calendar: ✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: =============== The resources mentioned in this episode are: To listen to the Adoption: The Making of Me podcast, visit their website at , or search for them on your favorite podcast platform. Support the Adoption: The Making of Me podcast on Patreon to help them continue their important work in elevating adoptive voices and providing valuable resources to the adoption community. Come meet Sarah and Louise in New York for a meet-and-greet before Rebecca Autumn Sansom's and Liz DeBetta's Operation Fog Lift NYC Edition on February 2-4, 2024. Here are some of the books that were mentioned in the episode: The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier Journey of the Adopted Self by Betty Jean Lifton The Baby Thief: The Untold Story of Georgia Tann, the Baby Seller Who Corrupted Adoption by Barbara Bisantz Raymond Other Resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: Adoptee-Therapist Directory: =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to [email protected] Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Create your own podcast through Libsyn: =============== Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:00:00 - Introducing the Guests Beth introduces the guests, Sarah Reinhardt and Louise Browne, who co-host the podcast Adoption: The Making of Me. They aim to uncover adoption complexities and share their own adoption stories. 00:01:23 - Different Adoption Stories Sarah and Louise discuss their different adoption experiences. Sarah had a traumatic beginning, while Louise was adopted into a loving family. They highlight the impact of adoption on their lives. 00:09:30 - Coming Out of the Fog The guests share their journey of coming out of the fog, realizing the complexities of adoption, and experiencing emotional ups and downs. They discuss the awakening moments and the challenges they faced during this process. 00:11:42 - Starting the Podcast Sarah and Louise reflect on starting their podcast without anticipating the emotional intensity of discussing their adoption experiences. They talk about bonding over being adoptees and finding camaraderie with other adoptees. 00:13:02 - Adoptee Camaraderie The guests highlight the unique camaraderie among adoptees, where they can instantly connect with others who share similar experiences. They emphasize the shared understanding and connection that comes from living through adoption. 00:13:12 - The Beginning of the Podcast Journey Sarah and Louise discuss how their podcast journey began as adoptees looking to explore the adoption world and provide a platform for adoptees to share their stories. 00:14:39 - Unexpected Growth and Community Reflecting on the podcast's growth, Sarah and Louise acknowledge the impact of books, their supportive listeners, and the community they've built, highlighting the importance of diverse adoptee voices. 00:16:39 - Insights from Difficult Topics The hosts share insights from discussing difficult topics, such as the book The Baby Thief, shedding light on the impact of historical figures like Georgia Tann and the far-reaching ripple effects of adoption-related trauma. 00:19:00 - Embracing Adoptee Stories Sarah and Louise express their commitment to providing space for all adoptees to share their stories, emphasizing the importance of empathy and understanding regardless of individual experiences. 00:24:18 - Future Visions and Realities The hosts discuss their future vision for the podcast, acknowledging the desire to reach wider audiences and expand their impact, while also recognizing the challenges of balancing real-life responsibilities with podcasting. 00:25:37 - Weekend Events and Workshops Sarah and Louise discuss the upcoming New York event Operation Fog Lift, including a happy hour, a movie screening, and a writing workshop. They highlight the opportunities for adoptees and supporters to connect in person. 00:26:41 - First In-Person Event Louise shares that this is their first in-person event, and they express excitement about meeting people face to face. They emphasize the transformative experience of interacting with others in real life. 00:27:59 - Advice for Adoptive Parents The hosts offer advice for adoptive parents, emphasizing the importance of open communication, doing personal healing work, and not taking things personally. They stress the significance of acknowledging the adoptee's identity and experiences. 00:32:12 - Abundance of Adoptee Podcasts Sarah and Louise discuss the value of the adoption community supporting numerous adoptee podcasts, emphasizing the diversity of voices and the ability to cater to different segments of the audience. They highlight the importance of collaboration and supporting each other within the adoption community. 00:34:27 - Dream Celebrity Interviews The hosts express their desire to interview celebrities such as Keegan Michael Key, Colin Kaepernick, and Simone Biles, who all have adoption connections. They share their bold approach to reaching out to potential guests and the significance of elevating adoptee voices through their podcast. 00:38:12 - Coaching for Adoptive Parents Beth offers coaching services for adoptive parents, specializing in helping them navigate through challenges such as addiction, mental health, and suicidality in their children. Her personal experience allows her to provide valuable support and resources.
/episode/index/show/32e8963a-2d90-4f3c-97bb-64ac96ea387d/id/29467708
info_outline
Joe's Healing Journey, Continued - Ep 127
01/08/2024
Joe's Healing Journey, Continued - Ep 127
"Today really is the solidified decision is that I'm going to quit marijuana for...not forever, but for one day at a time. That's how people should look at it. You don't have to, but that's how I'm looking at it, to keep myself afloat." -- Joe Nakao Unraveling Adoption's co-creator Joe Nakao catches us up on his journey to achieve personal growth and to heal his cannabis addiction, seeking support and understanding along the way. In this episode, you will be able to: Understand the derailing effect of cannabis addiction Unravel the impact of genetic factors on adoptive individuals' addiction. Embrace the importance of self-compassion and support in addiction recovery. Explore the benefits of online support groups in addiction recovery. My special guest is my dear son, Joe Nakao As a co-creator of this podcast, Joe brings a personal and relatable touch to the discussion. He bravely shares his journey of addiction recovery and healing, shedding light on the complexities of his experiences as a transracial adoptee. Joe's candid and insightful reflections offer a valuable perspective on the challenges of overcoming addiction, making him an authentic and credible voice for individuals on similar paths. 📆 Community Calendar: ✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: The resources mentioned in this episode are: Check out the community calendar at for continuously-updated support groups, including specific groups for adoptees and addiction. Here's a Filtered view of the Addiction-specific events on the Community Calendar: Join the interactive workshop How to Change Well on Zoom on Monday, January 8, 2024, at 4pm PST / 7pm EST. The workshop focuses on gracefully and intentionally making changes in your life. The cost is $20.24, and Patreon supporters receive a 50% discount on live events, including this workshop. Register at . Other Resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Check out our website: Create your own podcast through Libsyn: Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:00:00 - Introduction and New Year Update Beth introduces the episode and her son, Joe, who shares his recent achievements, such as getting his driver's permit and enrolling in college. Joe also discusses his struggles with substance abuse and mental health. 00:04:21 - Impact of Substance Abuse Joe discusses the negative effects of marijuana on his life, including memory problems and lack of motivation. He and his mom also reflect on how self-medication with marijuana as a transracially adopted teen makes sense. 00:10:31 - Influence of Supplements on Recovery Joe attributes a portion of his ability to pursue recovery to the supplements he has been taking that were prescribed after his genetic testing. These supplements have helped him feel more focused and engaged in tasks that he would have previously avoided. 00:11:32 - Embracing Change and Self-Discovery Joe expresses a newfound determination to make positive changes in his life. He acknowledges the need to go deeper in his healing process and emphasizes the importance of making the decision to pursue sobriety from within. 00:13:57 - Intrinsic Motivation for Recovery Beth and Joe discuss the significance of intrinsic motivation in the recovery process. Joe recognizes that sustainable change comes from within and highlights the importance of being personally invested in the journey towards sobriety. 00:14:14 - Recognizing the bigger picture of success Joe discusses his realization about the dead-end path of his weed usage and the importance of making a life for himself. He acknowledges the benefits of weed but recognizes its negative impact on his life. 00:15:39 - Support from friends and addiction Joe shares how his friends have been supportive and want him to be better. He reflects on his desire to be in a position to help others in the same way his friends have helped him. 00:17:41 - Genetics and addiction Beth highlights the impact of genetics on addiction and how it can be especially relevant for adopted individuals who may not know their genetic predispositions. Joe emphasizes the importance of self-compassion and reaching out for support. 00:19:16 - Finding the healing path Joe advises individuals struggling with addiction to practice self-compassion and seek external support. He emphasizes the value of meditation and self-expression through art or exercise as part of the healing journey. 00:23:19 - Reaching out for help Joe stresses the importance of reaching out to others for support, even if feeling lonely or in crisis. He encourages individuals to seek online groups, addiction and/or adoption support groups, and to find people who can offer compassionate help.
/episode/index/show/32e8963a-2d90-4f3c-97bb-64ac96ea387d/id/29349108
info_outline
Is It Even Possible to Do Transracial Adoption Well? with Katie Wynen - Ep 126
01/01/2024
Is It Even Possible to Do Transracial Adoption Well? with Katie Wynen - Ep 126
“If you, as the white adoptive parent, are comfortable, you're not doing it right. Because your kid is uncomfortable.” - Katie Wynen Are you touched by transracial adoption? Or do you know any adoptees who were adopted transracially? How do you personally frame transracial adoption? Some common rationalizations include the belief that love is enough, that colorblindness is the solution, and that children will assimilate easily into their new culture. But this episode will challenge those cultural norms which are based on white privilege. Stay tuned as our guest, transracial adoptee and adoption professional, Katie Wynen, shares her truth about ethical practices in transracial adoption. In this episode, you will be able to: Understand the complexities of transracial adoption and how to navigate them effectively. Find support and insight to do the very best you can as adoptive parents in a diverse family dynamic. Recognize and combat the impact of white supremacy on transracial adoptive families. Discover strategies for helping a transracially adopted child navigate their racial identity in a loving and supportive environment. My special guest is Katie Wynen Katie Wynen is a transracial, Colombian adoptee who holds a Master's degree in Social Work and boasts over a decade of experience as an adoption professional. Having studied under Dr. Joyce Maguire Pavao in Boston, Katie's professional journey led her to join the staff of Pact: An Adoption Alliance in 2012. In her role, she is involved in adoption placement, leading adult adoptee support groups, and providing adoption education on a national scale. Notably, Katie's commitment to advocating for adoptees, particularly those who are people of color and LGBTQ+, was acknowledged with the Angels in Adoption 2019 award from the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute. With her extensive personal and professional background, Katie is a key resource for gaining insights into ethical practices in transracial adoption. 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 📆 Community Calendar: ✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 The resources mentioned in this episode are: Visit for information on support calls, webinars, teen and tween club, and other resources related to adoption, including race and adoption-focused therapy. Contact Katie at for additional resources, adoptee support groups, and therapy support resources. Check out for a free support group for adoptive parents, individual and group coaching, and other resources for people touched by adoption. Understanding Transracial Adoption Complexities Transracial adoption brings unique complexities that need acknowledgment and understanding. As Katie Wynen highlights, adoptees of color often grapple with feelings of discomfort and a lack of belonging in their adoptive families. Moreover, nuances such as navigating racial identity within a family of a different race underscores the need for comprehensive support structures. 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 Other resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: Adoptee-Therapist Directory: 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on : Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption Create your own podcast through Libsyn: 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 Support and Insight for Adoptive Parents Adoptive parents play a pivotal role in shaping the experiences of their adopted children. As such, they require adequate knowledge and tools to help their children navigate challenges related to their racial identity and adoption. Wynen emphasizes the need for adoptive parents, especially those of transracial adoptions, to consider proactive approaches like finding their own support systems and continually educating themselves about various adoption issues. Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:00:00 - Introduction and Background Beth introduces herself as an adoptive mom of her 19-year-old son, Joe. She also introduces Katie Wynen, a transracial, international Colombian adoptee with a Master's degree in Social Work. 00:00:57 - Katie's Adoption Story Katie shares her adoption story, being born in Bogotá, Colombia, and being adopted by a white Episcopalian family in the U.S. She discusses growing up in a predominantly white community and the impact of being a transracial adoptee. 00:03:15 - Challenges of Growing Up Katie reflects on challenges she faced growing up in a white family and community as a person of color. She discusses the lack of cultural connection, language barriers, and the importance of diversity in educational settings. 00:08:40 - Career Path and Mentoring Katie talks about her career trajectory, from initially wanting to be a teacher to pursuing social work, inspired by her experience working with adopted youth. She also shares her experience working under Dr. Joyce Maguire Pavao and the impact it had on her professional development. 00:11:18 - Joining Pact Katie describes her journey to joining Pact: An Adoption Alliance, and how she initially volunteered before being hired. She shares her persistence and manifestation in pursuing her career in the adoption field. 00:14:27 - Focus on supporting prospective adoptive parents of color Katie emphasizes Pact's focus on supporting prospective adoptive parents of color, including same-race placements, and how this approach differs from traditional adoption agencies. 00:17:32 - Family preservation approach Katie discusses Pact's approach to family preservation, highlighting the organization's commitment to exploring all options to support birth parents in parenting before considering adoption placements. 00:22:04 - Ethical adoption practices Katie emphasizes Pact's commitment to ethical adoption practices and how they prioritize the best interests of the child and family preservation over the desires of prospective adoptive parents. 00:24:06 - Post-placement support and resources Katie explains how Pact provides extensive post-placement support, including virtual support calls, webinars, family camps, and specific support for adoptees and their families, setting them apart from other adoption agencies. 00:26:19 - Support for Birth Parents Katie discusses the support provided to birth parents, including financial assistance and check-ins. She contrasts this with other agencies that do not offer similar support. 00:26:59 - Pact Camp Overview Katie provides an overview of Pact Camp, including its focus on education and support for both kids and adults. She emphasizes the importance of providing a safe space for adoptive families of color. 00:28:39 - Age-Appropriate Discussions Katie explains how she conducts age-appropriate discussions about adoption with kids at Pact Camp, addressing the challenges they face and empowering them to respond to teasing and intrusive questions. 00:30:44 - Impact of Pact Camp Katie shares heartwarming stories of kids at Pact Camp expressing their emotions and having meaningful conversations with their parents. She emphasizes the importance of creating a supportive and inclusive environment for adoptive families. 00:35:32 - Transracial Adoption The conversation delves into the complexities and challenges of transracial adoption, with Katie expressing her personal and professional views on the topic. Both the adoptee and social worker perspectives are presented. 00:39:25 - The discomfort of adoptees of color with white parents Katie shares that adoptees of color often feel uncomfortable around their white adoptive parents 95% of the time. She emphasizes the need for white adoptive parents to prioritize their child's well-being over their own comfort. 00:40:30 - Relationship with parents Katie discusses her relationship with her parents, acknowledging that they are not fully estranged but also not extremely close. She highlights the importance of adoptive parents acknowledging their involvement in the adoption process and the need for better support for adoptees of color. 00:43:38 - Coming out of the fog Katie advises adoptive parents to find their own support and therapy when coming to terms with their role in the adoption process. She emphasizes the need for adoptive parents to acknowledge their involvement and privilege, and to commit to being different moving forward. 00:45:25 - Acknowledging involvement in adoption Katie expresses the importance of adoptive parents acknowledging their role in the adoption industry and their lack of knowledge. She also highlights the need for adoptive parents to recognize their child as a person of color and to provide support and understanding in the face of racial challenges. 00:50:27 - Adoption trauma Katie discusses the ongoing impact of adoption trauma and relinquishment trauma on adoptees, emphasizing that it is always a significant part of their experience, especially for those who do not look like their parents. She encourages adoptive parents to understand and address this underlying trauma 00:52:09 - Identity and White Supremacy Beth shares a troubling experience of her son seeing a white person when he looks in the mirror. The conversation delves into the impact of white supremacy on identity and adoption. 00:52:44 - Ethical Adoption Beth acknowledges Katie's work in ethical adoption and expresses gratitude for her efforts. The conversation highlights the thin line of ethical adoption and the challenges faced by adoptees. 00:53:19 - Importance of Listening Katie emphasizes the importance of audio platforms for learning about race and adoption. The conversation encourages listeners to reflect and engage in difficult conversations on race and transracial adoption. 00:53:48 - Resources and Support Katie shares information about Pact's website and resources for support groups, therapy, and events related to race and adoption. The conversation also touches on the evolving perspectives on transracial adoption. 00:55:15 - Collaboration and Support Beth and Katie discuss collaboration opportunities and encourage listeners to explore Pact's and Unraveling Adoption's websites for additional support and resources.
/episode/index/show/32e8963a-2d90-4f3c-97bb-64ac96ea387d/id/29228118
info_outline
A Natural Father Fighting the Adoption Machine with Paul Fiscus - Ep 125
12/25/2023
A Natural Father Fighting the Adoption Machine with Paul Fiscus - Ep 125
"Adoption is about finding homes for babies, not about finding babies for families." -- Paul Fiscus Do you want to see an increase in awareness and advocacy for natural fathers? Join me in listening to Paul Fiscus' plea for greater support and recognition for natural fathers. He hasn't seen his 5-year-old daughter Eliza since she was an infant. Through our discussion, you will learn actionable steps to raise awareness and advocate for the rights of natural fathers. Together, we can make a difference and bring about positive change for fathers fighting for their right to parent. In this episode, you will be able to: Discover the impact of unjust treatment of natural parents in adoption. Uncover the corruption in the adoption system and its impact on parental rights. Explore the role of racism in adoption cases and its effects on natural fathers. Advocate for parental rights and learn how to increase awareness and support for natural fathers. My special guest is Paul Fiscus Paul Fiscus, a devoted natural father, brings a unique perspective to the discussion on adoption and custody rights. His personal experiences have propelled him to become a passionate advocate for the rights of natural fathers. Paul's unwavering determination and in-depth understanding of the legal intricacies surrounding adoption highlight the hurdles that natural fathers can sometimes encounter. His insights and commitment to creating change in the treatment of natural fathers make him an invaluable voice in the ongoing dialogue about fathers' rights in the adoption process. 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 📆 Community Calendar: ✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 The resources mentioned in this episode are: Visit the website to learn more about Paul's fight for his daughter and to stay updated on his advocacy efforts. Connect with Paul directly by emailing him at if you have any specific questions or want to offer support or assistance. Connect with the Free Eliza group on Facebook: Support or volunteer for Saving Our Sisters with Renee Gelin: 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 Other Resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: Adoptee-Therapist Directory: 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to [email protected] Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on : Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption Create your own podcast through Libsyn: 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 Understand Unjust Treatment in Adoption The adoption industry is a tumultuous space characterized by decisions that can often feel arbitrary and unjust to the affected parties. This is highlighted in Paul Fiscus' experience where he faced severe challenges in fighting for his rights as a natural father. The bias and seeming corruption in the system reflect a pressing need for increased dialogue, ethical practices and actionable reform to provide fair treatment for all parties involved. Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:00:00 - Introduction and Background Beth Syverson introduces the podcast and her guest, Paul Fiscus, who shares his experience as a natural father to a daughter he hasn't seen since infancy. The conversation aims to shed light on the complexities and injustices of adoption. 00:01:16 - Becoming a Father Paul Fiscus shares his experience of finding out about becoming a father at 39 and the complexities of his relationship with the natural mother of his daughter. He discusses the challenges of co-parenting and the impact of the mother's bipolar disorder on their plans. 00:04:00 - Relinquishment and Legal Battles Paul discusses the challenges he faced when the natural mother cut off contact and the subsequent relinquishment of his daughter for adoption. He details the legal battles, ethical violations, and his relentless efforts to fight for his parental rights. 00:08:48 - Birth Mother's Motivation Paul reveals the birth mother's motivations, including her refusal to co-parent, control issues, and financial gains from the adoption. He highlights the unethical practices within the adoption industry and the impact on his daughter's well-being. 00:12:42 - Adoptive Parents' Role Paul discusses the refusal of the adoptive parents to communicate with him and their perspective on the legal process. He emphasizes the ethical and moral considerations surrounding the adoption of his daughter. 00:13:00 - Filing for Paternity Paul shares his experience of filing for paternity despite uncertainty about being the biological father. He discusses the legal process, including the petition and motions filed. 00:14:38 - Legal Battle and Emotional Toll Paul recounts the emotional and legal challenges he faced in the courtroom. He details the accusations made against him and the impact it had on his mental health. 00:18:48 - Seeking Relief Paul discusses his current legal actions, including filing a writ to the US Supreme Court. He expresses frustration with the legal system and the challenges he faces in seeking justice for his situation. 00:20:26 - Emotional Impact and Coping Paul opens up about the emotional toll of the situation, including struggles with PTSD and managing anger. He shares how music and meditation have helped him cope. 00:22:56 - Last Legal Resort Paul explains that filing a writ to the US Supreme Court is his last legal option. He also discusses potential motives behind the opposition he has faced in the legal system. 00:25:49 - Coping with lack of support Paul discusses the lack of support he has received and the impact it has had on him. He mentions feeling frustrated and unheard, highlighting the need for awareness and advocacy for fathers in similar situations. 00:26:24 - Race and adoption The conversation delves into the racial dynamics of adoption, with Paul noting the disparity in outcomes for Caucasian fathers compared to Hispanic or African American fathers. They discuss the disturbing implications of this racial divide in the adoption process. 00:27:43 - Gender dynamics in the legal system The conversation touches on the frustration with the legal system, particularly the role of judges who are often parents themselves. They explore the challenges of advocating for parental rights in a system that seems to favor certain demographics. 00:29:00 - Impact on the child The discussion delves into the emotional impact on Paul's daughter, Eliza, and the potential consequences of the misinformation she may have been exposed to. They express concern for the future relationship between Eliza and her adoptive parents. 00:33:32 - Call to action Paul emphasizes the importance of raising awareness and promoting ethical adoption practices. He encourages listeners to share the episode and engage in advocacy efforts to support ethical family preservation and child welfare.
/episode/index/show/32e8963a-2d90-4f3c-97bb-64ac96ea387d/id/29188663
info_outline
Supporting Adopted Youth with Meggin (Nam) Holtz - Ep 124
12/18/2023
Supporting Adopted Youth with Meggin (Nam) Holtz - Ep 124
Take the initiative to learn from all the resources that are out there. Recognize the importance of doing so for the benefit of adopted youth. - Meggin (Nam) Holtz If you're interested in supporting adopted youth in your family or community, then we have inspiration for you in today's episode! You may be trying to provide a loving and understanding environment, but still seeing your child struggle with feelings of not belonging. If you're feeling like your efforts to connect with an adopted youth in your life are falling short, then you are not alone! It's common to feel frustrated and discouraged when you see your child grappling with identity issues despite your best efforts to support them. In this episode, you will be able to: Discover how adoption shapes identity exploration in youth. Explore the transformative power of artistic expression for adoptees. Uncover the complexities of searching for biological relatives as an adoptee, especially as a teen or young adult. Learn the importance of support and community for adopted youth. My special guest is Meggin (Nam) Holtz Joining us today is the remarkable Meggin (Nam) Holtz, an intercountry, interracial adoptee and adoption therapist. As a Korean adoptee who was raised in the US, Nam has been at the forefront of adoption advocacy, awareness, and support for over a decade. With a Master's in Social Work, she brings a wealth of expertise, working in a private practice with adopted individuals and their families, while also engaging in macro work towards adoption reform and education. Nam's award-winning documentary, Found in Korea, serves as a powerful catalyst for discussions about adoption among youth and young adults, showcasing her commitment to empowering adoptees and fostering understanding. 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 📆 Community Calendar: ✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 The resources mentioned in this episode are: Watch Nam's documentary film Found in Korea on Vimeo to gain insight into the experiences of intercountry, interracial adoptees who are searching for their birth parents: Connect with Meggin (Nam) Holtz on Instagram at @foundinkoreafilm and on Facebook at Found in Korea Visit the website to learn more about Nam's therapy practice and find her contact information for potential therapy sessions. Check out the Adoptee Mentoring Society that Nam mentioned, run by Angela Tucker: Here are Pact's youth groups: Find support groups and more events for all ages and all types of people touched by adoption at Beth's Community Calendar: Explore the website for resources, coaching groups, and individual coaching services for adoptive parents. Consider supporting the Unraveling Adoption podcast by visiting to contribute to the show's maintenance and development. Artistic Expression for Adoptees Artistic expression can serve as a vital cathartic outlet for adoptees' feelings of confusion or alienation. Activities like dance or music not only provide a form of non-verbal communication but also can help adoptees feel connected and accepted. Identity and Adoption The concept of identity is complex for adoptees, being shaped by both their biological heritage and the family that raises them. Adopted youths often grapple with issues regarding self-identity, as they navigate the intersection of different cultures, races, and environments. Providing a supportive environment that appreciates these unique experiences can foster a stronger sense of self and understanding for adoptees. Challenges of Biological Search It's common for adoptees to seek their biological roots to answer questions about identity and heritage. However, this journey can often be fraught with emotional turmoil and disappointment. Support and guidance during this process can prevent feelings of isolation and help the adoptees deal with complex emotions constructively. 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 Other Resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: Adoptee-Therapist Directory: 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to [email protected] Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on : Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption Create your own podcast through Libsyn: 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:00:00 - Introducing the Guests Beth welcomes Joey as co-host, and introduces the guest, Meggin (Nam) Holtz, an intercountry, interracial adoptee, and adoption therapist. They discuss their personal experiences with adoption. 00:03:19 - The Power of Dance and Music Nam shares her experience as a professional dancer and the importance of dance and music in her life as a form of nonverbal communication and emotional regulation. Joey also shares his experience as a musician and how music has been a lifeline for him. 00:11:13 - The Journey to Making a Documentary Nam discusses her decision to make a documentary about her birth search and reunion in Korea. She shares the emotional process of deciding to search for her birth family and the challenges of documenting her journey on film. 00:13:46 - Navigating Korea Alone Beth inquires about Nam's experience of traveling to Korea by herself, not knowing the language, and managing the camera while documenting her emotional journey. They touch upon the challenges and emotional turmoil Nam faced during her trip. 00:09:29 - Identity and Alienation Joey shares his experience of feeling alienated and struggling with his identity as a minority in a predominantly white school and how it impacted his self-perception. Nam also reflects on her own challenges with identity and feeling alienated growing up in a white household. 00:14:02 - Emotional Challenges and Directing Nam shares the emotional challenges and behind-the-scenes work of directing her documentary. She discusses the struggle of maintaining composure on camera and the non-stop work during filming, highlighting the intense experience of creating the film. 00:16:11 - Visiting Country of Origin Nam encourages people to visit their country of origin, emphasizing the value of experiencing the space and its resonance without the pressure of fulfilling certain expectations. She reflects on her own powerful moment in the water on the island where she was born. 00:17:48 - Purpose of the Film Beth and Nam discuss the impact and purpose of the film, Found in Korea, for young adoptees and families. Nam shares her intention to create a positive and hopeful representation of searching for one's origins, emphasizing the importance of representation and early intervention in addressing adoption-related questions and losses. 00:23:36 - Learning and Growth Nam reflects on her family's openness to learning and acknowledges the changes and growth in her understanding of adoption over time. She discusses the evolving perspectives and terminology in the adoption community, highlighting the shifting nature of knowledge and awareness in this area. 00:27:40 - Teen Mentorship and Group Outings Nam and Joe discuss their experiences in teen mentorship and the impact of group outings for adoptee teens. They highlight the challenges of online adoption groups and the need for in-person connections. 00:28:55 - Barriers to Online Adoption Groups Joe expresses his preference for in-person meetings and the difficulty of building relationships online. Nam highlights the need for responsible leadership in in-person support groups for youth and mentions various online adoptee groups and meetups. 00:33:31 - Adoptees Not a Monolith The conversation delves into the diversity within the adoptee community, emphasizing the importance of recognizing different experiences, such as transracial adoption and age at adoption. They stress the need for understanding and acknowledging these differences. 00:36:53 - Challenges Faced by Youth Joe shares his perspective on societal expectations and the challenges faced by the younger generation. Nam acknowledges the need for adults to listen more and acknowledges the unique experiences and perspectives of today's youth. 00:39:12 - Taking Initiative to Learn and Speak Up Nam urges adoptive parents and community members to take the initiative to educate themselves about adoption experiences. They emphasize the importance of speaking up against the dominant narrative of adoption as purely positive and recognizing the complexities and losses involved. 00:42:23 - Reconnecting with Joe Beth expresses her excitement about having Joe back on the podcast and looks forward to more appearances in the future. 00:42:36 - Unraveling Adoption Beth shares information about the website, coaching groups, and resources available for adoptive parents. 00:42:50 - Support for Adoptive Parents Nam emphasizes the availability of free resources and coaching for adoptive parents, encouraging them to seek support. 00:43:06 - Conclusion and Call to Action Beth, Nam, and Joe express their gratitude for the conversation and encourage listeners to stay safe. Beth also mentions the Patreon account for those interested in supporting the podcast.
/episode/index/show/32e8963a-2d90-4f3c-97bb-64ac96ea387d/id/29105973
info_outline
Open Adoption's Balancing Act with Ben Coolman - Ep 123
12/11/2023
Open Adoption's Balancing Act with Ben Coolman - Ep 123
I think that it's definitely a complicated thing, no matter how great the conditions are. But it definitely did something for me to have contact with my biological part of the adoptee experience. - Ben Coolman If the adoptee in your life is feeling overwhelmed by conflicting loyalties and uncertainty about where they belong, we want them to know they are not alone! Despite their efforts to maintain relationships with both sets of parents, they may find themself feeling torn between two worlds and struggling to find their own identity. This is a common experience for many kids and young adult adoptees who grew up in open adoptions, but there are ways to navigate this journey and find one’s authentic self. In this episode, you will be able to: Gain insight into unique open adoption experiences. Navigate the challenges for adoptees of maintaining relationships with multiple parents. Discover the need for support tailored for young male adoptees. =============== 📆 Community Calendar: ✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: =============== My special guest is Ben Coolman Ben Coolman, a 23-year-old philosophy grad student at Boston College, joins Beth on this episode. Ben's unique experience as a same-race domestic adoptee in an open adoption from birth brings a fresh perspective to understanding the dynamics of open adoption. Growing up with other siblings (not biologically related) in open adoptions, Ben offers valuable insights on navigating relationships with multiple sets of parents and the impact of openness on his life. His candid approach and personal journey provide a relatable and insightful take on the complexities of open adoption, making this episode a must-listen for adoptive parents, young adult adoptees navigating similar experiences, and community members who want to understand adoption's complexities better. Here's how to find Ben: Follow Ben on Instagram: Connect with Ben on Facebook: Reach out to Ben via email: Other Resources: Male adoptee support groups (Community Calendar filtered for Male Adoptees only): APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: Navigating the ComplexitiesNavigating an open adoption's complex dynamic demands strength and an intuitive understanding of human emotions. Ben discussed how managing relationships with four parents can occasionally be challenging, especially the pressure to spend equal time with each parent. He also emphasized the importance of personal growth, self-security, and following intuition when managing the demanding task of evenly divided attention and care. =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Find us on Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Check out our website: Create your own podcast through Libsyn: =============== Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:00:00 - Introduction and Background Beth introduces the podcast and her guest, Ben Coolman, a 23-year-old adoptee in an open adoption. Ben shares his origin story, highlighting how his biological parents selected his adoptive parents before his birth. 00:03:55 - Childhood Perceptions Ben reflects on his childhood perceptions of adoption, including his naive belief that everyone gets adopted. He also discusses his experiences with visits from his biological parents and their influence on his understanding of adoption. 00:08:18 - Contrasting Relationships Ben explores the differences between his biological and adoptive parents, highlighting their unique sensibilities and the distinct ways he bonds with each of them. He also touches on his evolving understanding of the adoption experience as he matures into adulthood. 00:10:01 - Navigating Relationships Ben discusses the challenges of managing multiple parental relationships as a young adult. He shares his experience of balancing holiday visits between his biological and adoptive families, highlighting the complexities of maintaining these connections. 00:13:47 - Personal Reflections Ben reflects on his personality traits, noting his fluctuation between being assertive and considering others' needs. He also shares his attempts to integrate and balance his relationships by finding a sense of belonging between his adoptive family in Providence, Boston, and New York. 00:14:08 - Building in the Woods with Biological Father Ben sets aside a month every summer to build in the woods with his biological father, sacrificing time with friends. He shares about their construction projects and the intense experience of working together for a month. 00:16:20 - Advantages of Open Adoption Ben reflects on the positive aspects of growing up in an open adoption, including exposure to diverse experiences and the interest his biological parents have in him. He emphasizes the unique nature of his own open adoption experience. 00:18:13 - Disadvantages of Open Adoption Ben discusses the complexities of open adoption, including the internal struggle of feeling pulled between his biological and adoptive parents. He shares how the contrasting backgrounds and careers of his parents have influenced his perspective. 00:23:16 - Impact of Open Adoption on Identity Ben delves into how open adoption has helped him make sense of his story, providing insight into his background and the reasons behind his adoption. He explores the concept of the adoption constellation and its influence on his journey to self-coherence. 00:24:53 - Nature vs. Nurture Ben reflects on the interplay between nature and nurture in shaping his identity, acknowledging the impact of both sets of parents on his development. He discusses how his career path aligns with his adoptive parents' backgrounds while being influenced by his biological parents' sensibilities. 00:27:46 - Connecting with Young Men The host expresses the need for more young men to connect with her son Joey and highlights his son's deep thinking. Ben offers to interact with people on social media and shares his contact information.
/episode/index/show/32e8963a-2d90-4f3c-97bb-64ac96ea387d/id/28991718
info_outline
"The Mulatto Child the Strubes Adopted" with Janell Strube - Ep 122
12/04/2023
"The Mulatto Child the Strubes Adopted" with Janell Strube - Ep 122
I think for my mother, she didn't always really see me quite as a person of equal value. - Janell Strube A biracial adoptee, Janell Strube, shares her powerful journey of navigating racial identity and the impact of racism behind closed doors. Did she ever find the acceptance and understanding she sought? In this episode, you will be able to: Realize the complexities of biracial identity. Begin to understand the impact of racism on identity formation. Navigate the unique challenges of biracial identity. Learn how to create a supportive environment for biracial or transracial adopted people. Break the cycle of intergenerational trauma through awareness and action. 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 My special guest is Janell Strube Janell Strube is an accomplished domestic interracial adoptee, memoirist, novelist, and poet. With her unique perspective as an biracial adoptee and an adoptive parent, she navigates the complexities of race and adoption with depth and insight. Having been adopted at just four days old through a church adoption and growing up in a predominantly white community, she faced challenges and prejudices that shaped her understanding of her biracial identity. Her writings and poetry offer a powerful glimpse into her journey, providing valuable insights for parents of biracial children seeking guidance and understanding. The resources mentioned in this episode are: Check out Janell Strube's memoir, novels, and poetry to gain further insight into her adoptee experiences: Find Janell on Instagram: @janellstrube Subscribe to Janell's Substack: Attend adoption-related events, screenings, and gatherings in your local area to connect with others in the adoption community: 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 📆 Community Calendar: ✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 Exploring impact of racism on biracial identity Racism can play a significant role in the development of a biracial identity, particularly when it manifests within the familial setting, as encountered by Janell. This can lead to confusion, insecurity, and emotional distress, potentially disrupting a child's self-esteem and sense of self-worth. The way in which a family navigates and counteracts racism can heavily influence a child's perception of their racial identity and their ability to fully embrace their dual heritage. Learning strategies to navigate challenges Navigating the challenges of biracial identity formation involves actively embracing and valuing the child's distinct cultural backgrounds. Acknowledging and addressing inherent prejudice, providing positive role models from both of the child's racial backgrounds, and listening to and validating the child's experiences are strategies that can cultivate a supportive environment. As in Janell's experience, writing can also be used as a tool for healing and making sense of one's racial identity. 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 Here's Janell's Tree poem: 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:01:17 - Early Childhood and Adoption Janell shares that she was adopted when she was four days old through a church adoption. Her birth mother, who was white, made the decision to relinquish her. Janell also reveals that she was introduced as a "mulatto child" during her childhood. 00:03:32 - Discovering Her Biracial Identity Janell explains that she learned she was adopted and biracial when she was three years old. She recalls the emotions she felt upon finding out and how her parents handled the revelation. She also discusses her perception of herself as both black and white. 00:05:59 - Community and Racism Janell discusses her experience growing up in a predominantly white community. She shares that she faced racism from some members of her community and struggled with the lack of support or protection from her parents. She also reflects on her parents' pride in adopting a mulatto child. 00:09:26 - Lack of Context and Value Janell talks about the lack of context her parents provided regarding her adoption and how it affected her sense of identity. She also mentions that her mother didn't always see her as a person of equal value, which has been an ongoing source of pain. 00:13:41 - Experiencing Racism in Closed Doors The guest shares her personal experience of racism within her own family, including her birth grandmother's refusal to be called grandmother and her birth mother's family's rejection of her because she is biracial. 00:14:31 - The Impact of Racist Comments Racist comments have a deep and lasting impact on children who are adopted into families that ignore or perpetuate racism. The guest describes these comments as cuts on the soul, causing long-term emotional and psychological harm. 00:15:19 - Lack of Cultural and Racial Mirrors The guest discusses the lack of cultural and racial mirrors in her early life, with white people dominating her surroundings and no role models to look up to. It was only later, in high school, that she found a black friend who became her cultural mirror. 00:16:41 - Uncomfortable Interracial Experience The guest's mother felt embarrassed when they attended a Jesse Jackson event where they were the only white people. It was a moment that made her mother uncomfortable and gave her a glimpse of what it feels like to be the racial minority. 00:20:12 - Writing as a Coping Mechanism The guest turned to writing as a coping mechanism, using it as a way to express her feelings and experiences that couldn't be openly discussed or shared. Writing became a tool for self-expression and a way to release the pain she felt. 00:27:33 - Being a Bridge The guest discusses the importance of being a bridge between two worlds and finding inner strength to navigate challenges and find purpose. 00:28:10 - Fostering Children The guest shares her experience growing up as an adopted child and how it inspired her to become a foster parent. She highlights the need for better treatment and support for children in foster care. 00:29:28 - Adopting her Son The guest talks about adopting her son after his mother passed away and how she made a daily commitment to him. She acknowledges the struggles he faces but expresses pride in his resilience and ability to find joy in life. 00:31:32 - Mother-Son Bond The guest shares a precious memory of visiting her son in Florida and wearing matching hats. She describes their close bond and her admiration for his big heart. 00:33:07 - Advice for Parents of Biracial Children Janell provides advice for parents of biracial children, emphasizing the importance of examining prejudices, modeling non-racist behavior, and valuing all cultures. She also encourages parents to listen to and advocate for their children's experiences. 00:41:41 - Connecting with Family Janell discusses how she connects with both sides of her family and sees herself as a part of them, whether for good or bad. She expresses that writing her memoir is helping her process her experiences and put them into perspective. 00:42:30 - Complex Lives Janell reflects on the complexity of her own life and the lives of those involved in her adoption. She discusses the importance of understanding the struggles and pain of her adoptive mother and birth mother, and how it shapes her perspective. 00:43:45 - Generational Trauma The conversation shifts to the concept of intergenerational trauma and how it is passed down through genes. Janell believes in the truth of epigenetics and how the trauma of her ancestors is present within her. She emphasizes the importance of mitigating pain for future generations. 00:45:01 - Unconditional Love and Acceptance Janell highlights the importance of unconditional love and acceptance within her family, especially as an adoptive parent herself. She acknowledges the need to let children find their own path and not see them as mirrors of ourselves. 00:47:19 - Validating Adoptees' Stories Janell expresses gratitude for being able to share her story and emphasizes the importance of adoptive parents listening to adoptees without trying to minimize or invalidate their experiences. She hopes that her story will help others understand the complexities of adoption.
/episode/index/show/32e8963a-2d90-4f3c-97bb-64ac96ea387d/id/28891298
info_outline
REPLAY: Adoptee Remembrance Day Virtual Candlelight Vigil - Ep 121
11/27/2023
REPLAY: Adoptee Remembrance Day Virtual Candlelight Vigil - Ep 121
While I'm away this Thanksgiving week, I wanted to make the recording of our recent Adoptee Remembrance Day vigil available to you all. The live Zoom event was on October 30, 2023. Hear powerful personal stories, emotional poetry, and calls for greater awareness of adoptee suicide, murder, and deportation. TO WATCH THE VIDEO OF THE EVENT, click here: TO ACCESS THE WRITTEN PROGRAM FOR THE EVENT, click here: =============== 📆 Community Calendar: ✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: =============== SUICIDE PREVENTION RESOURCES: 988 National Suicide Prevention Lifeline - Call 988 or go to "Adoptees are Dying, But Adoption Agencies Continue to Neglect Our Cries" - Essay by ARD creator Pamela Karanova: Adoption and Suicide Prevention: Adult Adoptees Speak Out - Video from AFFCNY: Ask Us Anything About Suicidality - Video from Beth Syverson and Frank King, with Joey Nakao: Chronic Suicidality with Frank King - Unraveling Adoption podcast episode: Psych Hospitals & Suicidal Ideation - Unraveling Adoption podcast episode with Joey Nakao: Toward Preventing Adoption-Related Suicide- essay by Mirah Riben: OTHER RESOURCES FROM OUR PRESENTERS: Rent Rebecca Autumn Sansom's documentary Reckoning with the Primal Wound: Unraveling Adoption is organizing a panel discussion called "Sacred Plant Medicine for Healing the Adoption Constellation: How psychedelic journeys can heal trauma" on December 3. Free tickets and more information here: Healing the Adoption Constellation Database - find all kinds of practitioners who work with adoptees, birth parents, and/or adoptive parents: I'm so grateful to be in community with you all as we delve deeply into these difficult topics around adoption trauma, suicidality, murder, deportation, and the deep pain that most adoptees feel. Please reach out to me or someone you trust if you are feeling dysregulated after hearing or watching this recording. It's important but heavy material to process! Other resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: Adoptee-Therapist Directory: =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on : Create your own podcast through Libsyn: Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:00:02 - Introduction Beth introduces the episode and explains that it will be a recording of the Adoptee Remembrance Day service from October 30, 2023. She encourages listeners to watch the video for a more immersive experience. 00:01:26 - Purpose of Adoptee Remembrance Day Beth explains that Adoptee Remembrance Day was created to raise awareness of crimes against adoptees, honor the lives of those lost, and bring attention to adoptee suicide and the issue of international adoptees living without citizenship. 00:04:31 - Self-care and Support Beth emphasizes the importance of self-care during the emotional event and encourages listeners to reach out for support if needed. She also provides the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline number. 00:05:01 - Grounding Exercise Beth guides listeners through a grounding exercise to connect with their hearts, the present participants, and the adoption community. 00:05:25 - Adoptee Remembrance Day 2020 Adoptee Moses Farrow shares a touching video he made 3 years ago, the first Adoptee Remembrance Day. 00:09:35 - "Out of the Adoption Fog" Emily Alber shares her poem and artwork 00:10:42 - "A Very Important Day" Christine Warmus Murphy reads a poem about her adopted brother who died by suicide. 00:13:42 - Excerpt from Side by Side: Out of a Korean Orphanage and Into the World Glenn Morey's film project provides many stories of Korean adoptees. This one is a young woman who attempted suicide. 00:17:13 - "Landon" Janell Strube reads a poem she wrote about Landon Maloberti, a young boy who was murdered by his adoptive parents. 00:19:23 - "My Other Loss" Liz DeBetta reads her poem and shares her artwork 00:23:08 - Honoring her daughter Jane Birth mother Lorraine Dusky reflects about her relinquished daughter's difficult life that ended in suicide. 00:27:37 - "Ungrateful" Ande Scott reads her poem 00:29:30 - Reckoning with the Primal Wound Filmmaker Rebecca Autumn Sansom introduces the trailer to her adoption documentary 00:31:58 - "Why I Write Poetry" Poet Michael Grenfell shares his work 00:33:32 - "What Will Become of My Mother Birth mother Mimi Janes reads a poem by Beth Brown 00:38:08 - "Dying to Know" from For the Records Chance Ibáñez, Joel Ibáñez, and Beth Syverson perform a song from Rich Uhrlaub's new adoption musical 00:43:55 - "Be Grateful You Weren't Adopted" Peter Capomolla Moore shares his poem 00:47:26 - Honoring her son Ray Birth mother Laura Engel shares the story of her reunion with her son who later died by suicide 00:53:35 - Opportunity to donate to Adoptees Connect; with "Worth It" Attendees are urged to donate to Pamela Karanova's nonprofit organization at AdopteesConnect.org while Joseph Nakao's music video is played 00:56:42 - Excerpt from "Being Adopted" Collective art project by Nicole Rademacher, with background music by Joseph Nakao 00:59:54 - "Integration" Liz DeBetta reads a second poem she wrote 01:03:57 - Silence and Lighting Our Path Forward After a moment of silence, the attendees observed a moment of silence, then lifted our candles up to the camera. Emily Alber's artwork was displayed during this section 01:04:59 - Gratitude and Dismissal A reminder to be gentle with ourselves and to care for the adoptees in our lives. If anyone is struggling with suicidal thoughts, reach out to the suicidal crisis lifeline (988) or the adoption community. Every individual is valuable, and we need you all here. Gratitude is expressed for the adoptees and birth parents who participated in the event. Attendees are encouraged to pour themselves into supporting adoptees with compassion and effective advocacy. Mental health support is available through the Adoption Constellation database. (UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing) In honor of Beth's son's intention, participants are invited to unmute themselves and say "stay safe." Emphasizing the importance of mental health, they encourage everyone to take care of themselves and seek support when needed.
/episode/index/show/32e8963a-2d90-4f3c-97bb-64ac96ea387d/id/28730458
info_outline
Ayahuasca for Transforming Trauma and Pain with Mee Ok Icaro - Ep 120
11/20/2023
Ayahuasca for Transforming Trauma and Pain with Mee Ok Icaro - Ep 120
Reserve your FREE ticket to the Sacred Plant Medicine for Healing the Adoption Constellation webinar featuring Mee Ok as one of the panelists, December 3 at 1pm PST: When you're in the margins and outside of the dominant narrative, you're very aware of what is just taken for granted. - Mee Ok Icaro A transformative journey unfolds as Mee Ok, a Korean transnational adoptee, embraces the healing power of Ayahuasca, finding dramatic physical healing, challenging her beliefs, and finding spiritual growth amidst the risks and rewards of this sacred plant medicine. In this episode, you will be able to: Discover the transformative power of Ayahuasca on one's healing journey. Explore cultural assimilation in the context of sacred plant medicines. Learn about how sacred plant medicines (psychedelics) can treat and cure autoimmune diseases. Understand the profound connection between the mind and body, and how it impacts physical ailments. Explore the responsible and ethical use of sacred plant medicines for personal growth and healing. =============== 📆 Community Calendar: ✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: =============== My special guest is Mee Ok Icaro Mee Ok Icaro is a noted writer, poet, teacher, book doula, and sacred medicine support practitioner. Born in Korea and adopted by a white evangelical couple in the US, her personal journey has been shaped by the complexities of transracial and transcultural adoption. Mee Ok was one of the case studies in Dr. Gabor Maté's recent book, The Myth of Normal, where she shared her experiences of overcoming scleroderma through the use of sacred plant medicines. Her story was also featured in an episode of Netflix's series [Un]Well, shedding light on her healing journey. Mee Ok's expertise and insights have led her to participate in Dr. Maté's panel for his Wisdom of Trauma Summit, where she shared her profound knowledge on the responsible use of sacred plant medicines. Her upcoming involvement in promises to offer valuable perspectives on how adoption, trauma, and physical pain can be transformed by sacred plant medicines. The resources mentioned in this episode are: Find out more about the upcoming Sacred Plant Medicine for Healing the Adoption Constellation panel on December 3, 2023: Read Dr. Gabor Maté's book The Myth of Normal to delve into the cultural separation of the mind-body connection: Watch the episode of Netflix's series [Un]Well featuring Mee Ok Ikoro, and learn more about her journey with healing through plant medicine: Contact Mee Ok for a free 20-minute consultation for writing coaching or sacred medicine support practitioner for your own healing journey: Watch an endorsement video by Dr. Gabor Maté of Mee Ok's coaching work: Find an adorable photo of Mee Ok from when she was a Girl Scout: Review previous podcast guest Glenn Morey's Korean adoptee project Side By Side: Read Mee Ok's article in Michael Pollan's Medium anthology: Look into Soltara, the Costa Rica organization that holds ayahuasca ceremony retreats, and use the code MEEOK for a discount: Hear the Unraveling Adoption episode that Beth and Joey did about psychedelics here: Request a free consultation from Mee Ok at Transformative Power of Ayahuasca Ayahuasca, a plant medicine native to the Amazon, is renowned for its transformative potential. This sacred plant allows individuals to tap into deeper levels of consciousness, confront unresolved trauma, and initiate profound spiritual and personal growth. However, engaging with Ayahuasca requires due diligence, caution, and support from reputable indigenous healers to ensure a safe and efficacious journey. Other resources mentioned in this episode: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: Adoptee-Therapist Directory: =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on : Create your own podcast through Libsyn: Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:01:28 - Mee Ok's Adoption Story Mee Ok shares her experience of being adopted from Korea by a white evangelical couple in the US. She talks about her upbringing and the challenges she faced, including childhood sexual abuse by her adoptive father. She also mentions her search for her birth family. 00:05:29 - Finding Birth Mother through Ayahuasca Mee Ok shares her journey with Ayahuasca and how it helped her find her birth mother. She describes the process of fasting and being alone in the woods while working with the plant as well as the incredible coincidence of receiving an email from her adoption agency informing her that her birth mother had returned to their offices on the same day she started her fast. 00:11:41 - Healing and Understanding Mee Ok discusses her healing journey through plant medicine, trauma work, and connecting with her birth family. She emphasizes the importance of understanding the intentional misplacements and eradication of records in adoption 00:14:41 - The Market for Adoption in Korea The guest explains that the market for adoption in Korea was created due to complex social issues and economic devastation. The flow of money has made it difficult to stop the adoption market. 00:16:06 - Cultural Context of Korea Mee Ok discusses the cultural context of Korea, highlighting its Christianization and the presence of U.S. military bases. She also reflects on her experience as a Korean adoptee growing up in a diverse community, then a homogeneous one. 00:18:02 - Transracial Adoption and Assimilation The guest shares her experience with transracial adoption and how her parents followed the convention of assimilation. She talks about her mother's efforts to introduce Korean culture, but her own desire to be seen as an American kid. 00:19:26 - Illness and the Search for Healing The guest recounts her journey of falling ill with scleroderma and seeking various treatments, including Western medicine and alternative therapies. She explains how she discovered Ayahuasca as a potential healing tool. 00:24:47 - Ayahuasca at Home Due to her physical limitations, Mee Ok initially had to bring Ayahuasca into her own space and drink it at home. She shares her experience of using Ayahuasca as a therapeutic tool for healing while bedridden. 00:28:22 - The Healing Power of Communication Mee Ok discusses how advancements in communication technology have allowed her to overcome the challenges she faced due to her disability. She mentions that she is now able to walk and no longer needs a wheelchair. 00:28:54 - Lack of Coverage for Alternative Healing Mee Ok expresses frustration with the modern healthcare system's lack of coverage for alternative healing methods, such as Ayahuasca, which is the only effective medicine has found in her own healing journey. She highlights the narcissism and self-interest of Western medicine and the financial interests involved. 00:30:27 - The Mind-Body Connection The guest explores the connection between physical and emotional pain, particularly in relation to autoimmune diseases like scleroderma. She shares her belief that healing should be holistic and not limited to psychotherapy or physicality alone. 00:31:51 - Ayahuasca and Healing in the Jungle The guest describes her experiences with Ayahuasca ceremonies in the jungle and the profound healing she has experienced. She mentions the Shipibo tradition and their expertise in working with Ayahuasca and other medicinal plants. 00:34:37 - Ayahuasca as Sacred Medicine The guest explains her perspective on Westerners becoming guides or practitioners in the Ayahuasca tradition. She believes it should remain with the native people who have preserved it for thousands of years and sees the role of Westerners as supporters rather than leaders. 00:42:30 - Finding a Legitimate Ayahuasca Healer It's important to vet Ayahuasca healers before booking a retreat, as there are many illegitimate practitioners. Due to its illegal status, finding trustworthy healers can be challenging, and personal connections are often necessary. 00:43:04 - The Darker Elements of Ayahuasca Ayahuasca experiences can have negative aspects, including energetic attacks. It's crucial to work with reputable healers and be protected during the process. Soltara is recommended by the guest as a reputable retreat center. 00:43:30 - Restoring the Soul through Ayahuasca Ayahuasca healers often help restore one's soul, especially for those who feel disconnected. Mee Ok, who was previously an atheist, had a profound experience with Ayahuasca that transformed her perspective. 00:44:22 - Importance of Support and Integration Ayahuasca journeys can leave individuals feeling isolated. Having allies and support during the integration process is crucial. The host shares her own experience of finding an integration circle for her son. 00:46:38 - Ayahuasca as Serious Medicine Ayahuasca should be approached with the same seriousness as Western medicine. It's not something to be taken lightly, and thorough research and finding the right practitioners are essential for a safe and transformative experience.
/episode/index/show/32e8963a-2d90-4f3c-97bb-64ac96ea387d/id/28697873
info_outline
Preventing Adoptee Suicide through Compassionate Community Support with Moses Farrow - Ep 119
11/13/2023
Preventing Adoptee Suicide through Compassionate Community Support with Moses Farrow - Ep 119
"Being commodified, treated as an object, as a thing that can be returned or exchanged, deeply affects us. I am not a thing." - Moses Farrow Did you know that adoptees are at least four times as likely to attempt suicide as their non-adopted peers? In this episode, Moses Farrow will shed light on the truth behind high suicide rates among adopted people, and will provide resources to help prevent adoptee suicide. In this episode, you will be able to: Gain a deeper understanding of the challenges faced by adoptees and how to provide meaningful support throughout their journey. Uncover the alarming realities of high suicide rates among adoptees and discover strategies to prevent this tragedy. Explore a wide range of mental health resources specifically tailored to meet the unique needs of adoptees. Develop critical thinking skills to examine and question the adoption industry, promoting transparency and ethical practices for the benefit of all involved. My special guest is Moses Farrow Moses Farrow is an esteemed guest on Unraveling Adoption, bringing a wealth of expertise and personal insights to the discussion. As an intercountry, interracial adopted person from South Korea, Moses resides at the complex intersection of adoption, race, disability, mental health, and activism. With over two decades of experience in the mental health field, Moses has dedicated his work to serving adopted individuals and other at-risk populations. His passion for advocating a complete paradigm shift in the adoption industry is rooted in his tragic personal experiences, having lost three adopted siblings to suicide. Drawing from his extensive background and firsthand knowledge, Moses offers a unique perspective on the challenges faced by adopted people and the importance of prioritizing mental health support. We are privileged to have Moses join us on this episode as we explore the pressing issue of adoptee suicide and discuss strategies for prevention and support. The resources mentioned in this episode are: Explore Moses' website: Follow Moses Farrow on social media to stay updated on his work in the mental health field. Consider seeking therapy or counseling for yourself or your adopted family member if you are struggling with mental health or adoption-related issues. Find a list of practitioners that care for those touched by adoption here: If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide, reach out for help immediately. If you're in the U.S. call or text 988, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. Here are other Unraveling Adoption episodes and workshops related to adoptee suicide, suicidality, and suicide prevention: Psych Hospitals & Suicidal Ideation (with Joey): Chronic Suicidality with Frank King: Ask Us Anything: Suicide Edition: Virtual Candlelight Vigil for Adoptee Remembrance Day 2023: Understanding Adoptee Challenges In this insightful conversation, Moses Farrow shares his personal experiences as an adoptee, bringing attention to the significant difficulties often faced by individuals in the same situation. He discusses the feeling of being a "square peg in a round hole," highlighting the common struggle of adoptees navigating their cultural identity and fitting into their adoptive families. Moses' shared insights underscore the importance of providing support, understanding, and validation for the unique challenges adoptees face. Tailored Mental Health Resources The discussion underscores the need for comprehensive mental health support for adoptees, taking into account the specific traumas and challenges they face. Moses highlights the prevalence of adoption trauma, urging for it to be understood as a normal response to traumatic experiences rather than pathologized as a mental disorder. He advocates for integrated mental health resources that consider the adoptee's whole experience, providing essential validation and facilitating healing and well-being. Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:01:22 - Adoptee Suicide Beth discusses the topic of adoptee suicide and shares her personal connection to it through her son Joey. Moses, who has lost three adopted siblings to suicide, emphasizes the need for better support and understanding of adopted individuals to prevent more suicides. 00:03:19 - Moses' Origin Story Moses shares his adoption story, being adopted from South Korea at the age of two. He reflects on his Korean identity and having cerebral palsy, which he believes was caused by a difficult birth experience. 00:06:21 - Childhood Dreams Moses discusses his childhood dreams and aspirations, including wanting to be an astronaut, a movie director, and a musician. He reflects on how his interests and goals evolved over time. 00:08:15 - Mental Health and Therapy Moses talks about growing up in a large adoptive family and navigating complex relationships. He reveals that he is a survivor of child abuse and highlights the lack of mental health support during his childhood, focusing more on physical health issues. 00:17:36 - Adoption as Commodification The guest shares a story from South Korea about how he feels that adoption commodifies human beings. The term "rehomed" is discussed, highlighting the disrespectful connotation it carries. The guest expresses frustration with the language used in pet adoption and human adoption. 00:18:47 - Feeling Like a Square Peg in a Round Hole The experience of being adopted is compared to feeling like a square peg in a round hole. The guest discusses not feeling like they fit in or belong anywhere, describing the struggle of not feeling Korean enough or American enough. 00:19:18 - Adopted People and Suicide Adopted individuals are four times more likely to attempt suicide. The guest acknowledges the attention given to anxiety, depression, and suicide in recent years, particularly among teens. They discuss the importance of understanding suicide within its own context and the need to destigmatize and normalize conversations about it. 00:20:41 - Normalizing Mental Health and Suicide The guest highlights the increased attention given to mental health and suicide in society, similar to the normalization of the COVID-19 pandemic. They emphasize the importance of open conversations and building support networks to validate and acknowledge individuals' struggles. 00:24:07 - Suicide Prevention as an Ongoing Journey Suicide prevention and mental wholeness cannot be viewed as achieving a goal or reaching a finish line. It is an ongoing journey and practice of self-reflection, curiosity, and intention. 00:34:57 - The Coercion in Adoption The conversation delves into the issue of voluntary adoption and questions whether individuals and institutions can truly make the decision without being influenced by the culture of coercion surrounding them. 00:35:29 - Preventing Adoption Trauma The focus shifts to the high rate of suicide attempts among adopted individuals and the need for support. The conversation emphasizes the importance of checking on adopted people regularly and providing mental health support. 00:36:02 - Updating Research on Adoption The lack of updated research on the mental health of adopted individuals is discussed, along with the need to recognize adoption trauma as a public health crisis. Mental health support and reconnecting with their pre-adoption lives are seen as crucial in addressing this issue. 00:37:23 - Overcoming Adoption Stereotypes Adopted individuals often face societal pressure to be grateful and not speak out about their experiences. The conversation emphasizes the need to recognize and validate adoptees' experiences, elevating their voices and understanding the lifelong impact of adoption. 00:41:04 - Creating Safe Spaces The importance of creating safe spaces for adoptees to share their experiences is highlighted. Sharing personal stories humanizes adoptees and challenges the commodification and dehumanization perpetuated by the adoption industry. The conversation emphasizes the need for a comprehensive approach to addressing adoption trauma.
/episode/index/show/32e8963a-2d90-4f3c-97bb-64ac96ea387d/id/28592058
info_outline
Happy Enough Holidays - November 14, 2023
11/06/2023
Happy Enough Holidays - November 14, 2023
Register at or at Do you have a child or loved one struggling with addiction or mental health issues? Are you dreading the holidays? Happy Enough Holidays is an interactive workshop hosted by Heather Ross and Beth Syverson Tuesday, November 14th 4:30 – 6:00 pm PST / 7:30 – 9:00 pm EST $20 for 90-minute interactive workshop Here's What You Get: A Supportive Immersive Experience: Curate your holiday experience with other parents who face similar challenges and understand you during this live workshop. Custom exercises tailored to your needs and situation to help you create a clear vision for supporting yourself and your child through the holidays Reimagine Your Holidays: Rewrite the rules and set your own standards for the holidays. Uncover newfound clarity, embrace realistic expectations, and let your holiday season be a uniquely crafted experience that’s entirely your own Unlock Your Inner Strength and Resilience: Resilience isn’t a fixed trait It’s a muscle that can be strengthened. Together we will unlock the power within you to face holiday uncertainty head-on. Two Inspiring Coaches: Heather Ross and Beth Syverson are your seasoned guides through this journey. They bring years of expertise and a wealth of knowledge in helping families navigate addiction Register at or at
/episode/index/show/32e8963a-2d90-4f3c-97bb-64ac96ea387d/id/28537580
info_outline
An Inside Look at Adoption as Both an Adoptee and a Birth Parent with Dr. Abby Hasberry - Ep 118
11/06/2023
An Inside Look at Adoption as Both an Adoptee and a Birth Parent with Dr. Abby Hasberry - Ep 118
"Supporting a birth mother doesn't mean just offering empty words, but actively showing her what support looks like and helping her make informed decisions." - Abby Hasberry Have you ever experienced a life-changing twist that completely altered your life view? Abby Hasberry's story of being raised in a transracial adoptive family takes an unexpected turn at age 16, revealing the complexities and challenges faced by both transracial adoptees and birth parents. =============== 📆 Community Calendar: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: =============== In this episode, you will be able to: Gain a deeper understanding of the unique challenges faced by transracial adoptees, helping you provide better support and empathy as an adoptive parent, ally, or professional in the adoption field. Discover the often overlooked experiences of birth parents in adoption, allowing you to have a more comprehensive perspective and offer more compassionate support. Learn about some of the problematic practices in the adoption industry, empowering you to advocate for positive change and ensure ethical adoption processes. Explore the importance of therapy in addressing racialized trauma in transracial adoptees, equipping you with valuable insights and tools to help them heal and thrive. Dive into the inner work and forgiveness journey in adoption, enabling you to approach adoption from a place of empathy, understanding, and healing. My special guest is Dr. Abby Hasberry Dr. Abby Hasberry is our esteemed guest on this episode of Unraveling Adoption. With a background as a domestic transracial adoptee and birth parent, Abby brings a unique perspective to our discussion. Having worked as an educator and principal before transitioning to a career as a licensed marriage and family therapist, Abby is well-versed in supporting adoptees and birth parents on their healing journey. Her therapeutic approach incorporates brainspotting, narrative therapy, and parts work to address the trauma experienced by individuals in the adoption process. Resources: Explore Dr. Abby Hasberry's website to learn more about her therapy practice and the services she offers for adoptees and birth parents: Find many more of Abby’s offerings on her Linktree: Supporting Birth Parents in Adoption - Birth parents, particularly those coerced into giving up their children for adoption, bear significant emotional trauma that often worsens over time. It is crucial to provide these parents with the necessary support, including comprehensive counseling and space to grieve. Abby Hasberry stresses that these parents also need acknowledgment for the immense loss they suffer, something that the adoption system often neglects. Advocating for Ethical Adoption Practices - Abby shares that the adoption industry often exploits vulnerable pregnant women, prioritizing the provision of infants to adoptive parents over family preservation. She calls attention to the need for transformative change in the adoption system, advocating for more ethical and responsible practices. This includes offering expectant mothers unbiased support, helping them thoroughly understand their options and the long-term effects of their decisions. Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:01:26 - Abby's Adoption Story Abby shares that she was adopted in 1971 by white parents who wanted a big family. However, due to the National Black Social Workers (NABSW) statement on transracial adoption in 1972, her parents were unable to adopt another black child. Abby discusses the implications of this statement and the challenges she faced growing up as the only black child in her family . 00:03:02 - Racial Bias and Identity Beth and Abby discuss how racial bias is present in society and how it can impact transracial adoptees. Abby shares her experience of having a strong black identity and how it sometimes clashed with her mother's racial biases. They also touch on the importance of acknowledging and addressing racial biases. 00:05:34 - Growing Up in a Predominantly White Community Abby talks about her experience growing up in a predominantly white community, where she was often the only black person in her grade. She explains how this influenced her sense of identity and the challenges she faced as a black teenager, especially when she started embracing her black culture and dating black boys. 00:12:11 - Making the Decision to Place Abby discusses her decision to place her child for adoption and the lack of support she received from her parents. She also talks about feeling pressured to give up her plans for college and track. 00:13:49 - Coercion and Lack of Support Abby reflects on the lack of clear support she received from her parents during the decision-making process. She shares how they used her passion for track as a way to pressure her into choosing adoption without offering concrete solutions or assistance. 00:14:41 - Language and Identity Abby discusses the different terms she uses to describe her experience, such as "gave up for adoption" or "placed." She talks about the importance of using politically correct language, even if it doesn't fully align with her personal feelings. 00:15:00 - Being Black in a White Family Abby reflects on her experience of being a black child in a white family. She shares that while her parents didn't treat her differently, she often felt different. Education and achievement were valued in her family, but race didn't play a significant role in her upbringing. 00:15:28 - Race and the Adoption Decision Abby discusses the role race played in her decision to place her child for adoption. She initially wanted to find an educated family with black members, but later discovered that her child was adopted transracially by a white family. She expresses her disappointment and frustration with this realization. 00:24:17 - Issues in the Adoption Industry The adoption industry has made changes to shorten waiting periods and provide infants without considering family preservation. Some tactics include moving birth parents to states with more favorable adoption laws and offering financial compensation. These practices exploit vulnerable pregnant women and contribute to the business-like nature of adoption. 00:25:42 - Varying Adoption Laws and Compensation Each state has different rules regarding waiting periods and compensation for birth parents. Some states allow adoptive parents to pay for medical expenses and provide financial support. However, this can create a sense of obligation and guilt for birth parents if they change their minds. 00:27:31 - Unaddressed Birth Parent Grief Birth parents often experience ongoing grief that worsens over time. Society doesn't acknowledge their grief, leading to suppressed emotions. Seeing children of similar age can trigger feelings of loss and longing for their own child. 00:29:20 - Transition from Education to Therapy Abby transitioned from being a principal to becoming a therapist after receiving messages from black female transracial adoptees struggling with their racial identity. Recognizing the need for adoption-informed therapy options, she decided to pursue a career in therapy to address racialized trauma. 00:30:32 - Therapy vs. Coaching Therapy delves deeper into trauma, addressing the root causes and helping individuals heal. Coaching focuses on goal-setting and achieving desired outcomes. Abby pursued a Master's degree in Counseling and Development to gain the necessary skills for therapy. 00:36:23 - Abby's Healing Process Abby shares how she allowed herself three days to wallow and feel the pain after discovering her birth mother's secret. She then made a conscious decision to not let her birth mother's actions bring negative energy into her life anymore. 00:37:13 - Feeling Sorry for Her Birth Mother Abby expresses sympathy for her birth mother, recognizing that she hasn't done the necessary work to heal and process her own emotions. Abby also acknowledges the sadness of not being able to connect with her biological brother and nieces and nephews. 00:38:33 - Working with Adoptees and Birth Parents Abby primarily works with adoptees and birth parents, focusing on their unique experiences and needs. While she also works with clients not touched by adoption, her main focus is on adoptees, as she believes their voices need to be centered in the adoption narrative. 00:39:26 - The Challenges Faced by Birth Parents Abby discusses the challenges faced by birth parents, including the shame and lack of support they often encounter. She believes that as adoptee voices gain more attention and empathy, it can inadvertently contribute to more shame experienced by birth parents. 00:40:11 - Boundaries in Abby's Practice Abby explains that she does not typically work with adoptive parents or adoption agencies. She only works with adoptive parents if their perspective aligns with her own views on adoption. Abby sets clear boundaries in her practice to ensure she focuses on the adoptee and birth parent experience.
/episode/index/show/32e8963a-2d90-4f3c-97bb-64ac96ea387d/id/28511939
info_outline
The Roller Coaster Ride of Reunion with Brian Stanton and Rick Wertz - Ep 117
10/30/2023
The Roller Coaster Ride of Reunion with Brian Stanton and Rick Wertz - Ep 117
"You can't make this up. It's a beautiful journey of discovery and connection." - Rick Wertz Adoptees searching for their birth family are often met with dead-ends and heartache, which can be overwhelming. But Brian and Rick's story will give you hope. They demonstrate the grace and determination required to HANG ON when riding the complex roller coaster ride of reunion. In this episode, you will be able to: Discover the complexities and emotional challenges of adoption, providing insight and understanding into the adoptee's and the birth parent's journey. Learn effective strategies for navigating reunion and building healthy relationships with birth family members, fostering connection and growth. Understand the importance of support groups for adoptees and birth parents, finding a community of understanding and empathy to navigate the unique aspects of reunion. Explore the concept of genetic mirroring and its impact on an adoptee's sense of identity. =============== 📆 Community Calendar: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: =============== My special guests are Brian Stanton and Rick Wertz Brian Stanton is an adoptee who has a captivating story to share. As an actor, filmmaker, and playwright living in Los Angeles, he has used his creative talents to explore his own adoption journey. Brian's award-winning solo play, Blank, delves into the complexities of adoption, and he further documented his search for birth family members in his film, @Ghost Kingdom. Brian's reunion with his birth father, Rick Wertz, adds another layer to his story. Their reunion, filled with twists and turns, has provided them both with valuable insights into the complexities of adoption and the challenges of building relationships with birth families. Through their personal experiences and the support of various adoption communities, Brian and Rick have gained a deeper understanding of the emotional journey adoptees and NPEs face. Their story is sure to resonate with those seeking guidance and connection in their own reunion journeys. The resources mentioned in this episode are: Rent Brian Stanton's film @Ghost Kingdom on Vimeo: Look up support groups for adoptees, adoptive parents, and birth parents in your area or online through Unraveling Adoption's Community Calendar: Check out Adoptees Connect for in-person support groups around the world: Explore The Adopt Salon and Celia Center for adoption education and support: Discover resources for Christian fathers at Rick's ministry Faithful Fathering: Building Relationships with Birth Families Reconnecting with birth families involves nurturing meaningful relationships over time, underlined by mutual respect and understanding. This journey, as explored in the conversation between Beth Syverson, Brian Stanton, and Rick Wertz, involves unexpected twists and turns that can either lead to confusion or closer familial bonds. The essence of such relationships stems from recognizing the importance of genetic connections and their impact on defining one's identity. =============== Other Resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: Adoptee-Therapist Directory: =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to [email protected] Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on : =============== Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:01:30 - Brian's Adoption Story Brian shares his adoption story, mentioning that he was adopted shortly after birth and always knew he was adopted. He talks about his adoptive family and how his adoptive mother eventually gave him his original birth certificate when he was 23. 00:05:28 - The Reunion Brian talks about his reunion with his birth mother, mentioning that it started off well but became overwhelming for him. He reflects on the push-pull dynamic and how he wishes he had more support and understanding at the time. He shares that their communication is now solely in his hands. 00:08:22 - The Importance of Support Beth and Brian emphasize the importance of support groups for adoptees, adoptive parents, and birth parents. They mention the availability of online and in-person support groups and encourage listeners to seek them out. Brian discusses his experience with support groups and specific organizations that have helped him post-reunion. 00:09:52 - Difficult Conception Story Brian shares that his conception story was difficult and talks about how he dealt with that information. 00:13:47 - Finding Family Connections Brian shares his experience of discovering his biological father, and he expresses gratitude for finding Rick, who is not a criminal, unlike what Brian had thought for years. They connected through Ancestry and a supportive aunt. 00:16:15 - A Positive Response Rick recalls receiving Brian's email and discovering the connection through names on his mother's side of the family, as well as the connection to Kansas City and their high school. 00:19:13 - Openness and Support Rick and his entire family have been open, loving, and supportive of Brian throughout their reunion. Brian expresses his gratitude for their acceptance and mentions the importance of having a spouse who is understanding and supportive as well. 00:21:22 - Another Twist in the Story Brian learns from his uncle that his biological father was likely the result of an affair his grandfather had with a married woman in Kansas City. Brian realized that Rick doesn't know this information and felt a duty to tell him, leading to a difficult conversation. 00:29:26 - Connecting with a Stranger Meeting a genetically related stranger can be jarring for adoptees, but genetic mirroring and shared mannerisms provide a sense of confidence and grounding. 00:31:04 - Support for Artistic Pursuits Brian's adoptive family eventually supported his artistic endeavors, but initially struggled to understand and guide him. Brian's adoptive mother eventually admitted her lack of knowledge in the arts and apologized for not being able to help him pursue his passion. 00:33:11 - The Impact on Family Rick's daughter felt a strong connection to Rick's biological mother and like her, pursued a career in musical theater. Discovering the truth about his biological mother was a disappointment for her, but the parallels between her artistic career and Brian's are striking. 00:35:42 - Underestimating Genetics The importance of genetics in shaping one's identity and health is often underestimated. Adoptees may lack crucial information about their genetic history, making medical appointments and discussions challenging. Genetic mirroring and understanding genetic traits are vital for adoptees. 00:41:20 - Getting to Know Each Other Brian remembers expressing his desire to get to know Rick without being a burden or interrupting his life. 00:42:11 - Ministry and Faith Rick shares that he is involved in ministry and believes that everyone is an adoptee in a spiritual sense. He talks about how his faith has helped him fill the gap in his own fathering and his ministry's goal to encourage and equip fathers to be faithful. 00:43:23 - Brian's Future Projects Brian mentions that he has ideas for future films but nothing has come together yet. He emphasizes that the story doesn't end with the reunion but continues as a journey. They both express their excitement for the ongoing journey of their relationship.
/episode/index/show/32e8963a-2d90-4f3c-97bb-64ac96ea387d/id/28446701
info_outline
Art as a Tool for Empowerment for Adoptees and Former Foster Youth with Nicole Rademacher - Ep 116
10/23/2023
Art as a Tool for Empowerment for Adoptees and Former Foster Youth with Nicole Rademacher - Ep 116
"I spend a lot of my life, and even through my art, just looking for belonging." - Nicole Rademacher Join us as we delve into the world of art therapy and adoption with guest Nicole Rademacher. Discover how Nicole uses art to heal on her own journey as an adoptee, and explore her upcoming project, "We Are Not Our Cruxes," that aims to empower adoptees and former foster youth. In this episode, you will be able to: Discover the healing power of art therapy and how it can help adoptees do deeper work on their adoption trauma. Explore the complexities of transracial adoption and how it shapes an adoptee's identity through the lens of art Find out about "We Are Not Our Cruxes," Nicole's interactive, hybrid art project for the adoption constellation, starting on November 18, 2023 in Los Angeles and online. My special guest is Nicole Rademacher: Nicole Rademacher is an accomplished transcultural adoptee artist and art therapist based in Los Angeles. With a deep understanding of adoption trauma and personal experience as an adoptee, Nicole has dedicated her work to using art as a means of healing and self-exploration. Through her adventurous artistic creations and art therapy, she helps individuals tackle their nonverbal and often suppressed pain, offering them a safe space to express and process their emotions. Nicole's upcoming project, "We Are Not Our Cruxes," is a series of free, interactive, art-based healing events which is launching in November 2023 in the Los Angeles area and online. These events will provide participants with a unique opportunity to deepen their understanding of adoption while engaging in a transformative art therapy process. With her extensive expertise and compassionate approach, Nicole joins host Beth Syverson on Unraveling Adoption to share her insights and shed light on the power of art therapy in the journey towards healing. The resources mentioned in this episode are: Join Nicole Rademacher's adoption-related events: Attend the "We Are Not Our Cruxes" series of free, hybrid, interactive, art-based healing events in Los Angeles starting on November 18, 2023. Participate in person or online from anywhere. Explore art therapy for adoption trauma: Consider using artistic modalities to heal from adoption trauma. Connect with Nicole Rademacher through her website, or sign up for a free 15-minute intro call: Find Nicole's film project "Nesting" that we talked about in this episode: Explore Nic's other art projects on her artist website: Find Nic on Instagram at Explore the complexities and challenges of transracial adoption - Transracial adoption brings with it multifaceted challenges, as Nicole Rademacher, a biracial adoptee, elucidates. Adoptees often grapple with their racial identity and struggle to conform to expected societal norms and categorizations. Support from adoptive families in celebrating the adoptee's birth culture and maintaining a sense of identity is crucial, assuring adoptees that they're not confined by their racial backgrounds but can embrace all facets of their identity. Experience the healing and empowering effects of art therapy - Using art as therapy provides adoptees with an empowering platform to express their emotions and experiences. Nicole Rademacher's upcoming project "We Are Not Our Cruxes" incorporates art-based healing events for adoptees and former foster youth to aid in their healing process. By acknowledging their resilience and emphasizing that their identity and experiences aren't solely shaped by trauma, art helps participants foster a positive perception of self, resulting in a sense of empowerment. Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:01:29 - Early Childhood and Adoption Nicole shares her adoption story, explaining that she was born in 1978 and immediately placed in foster care. She was adopted into the Rademacher family in Milwaukee and grew up in North Carolina. Nicole reflects on her mixed-race identity and the challenges of fitting in visually with her white adoptive family. 00:05:04 - Transcultural Identity Beth asks Nicole about her identity as a transcultural adoptee. Nicole explains that she presents as white and often passes as such, but she also recognizes her biracial heritage. She discusses the complexities of racial identity and the challenges of fitting in with her adoptive family. 00:07:09 - Supportive Parenting Beth emphasizes the importance of adoptive parents supporting their child's cultural identity and interests. She encourages parents to listen to their adoptee's desires regarding exploring their birth culture and to be flexible and understanding. Nicole agrees and emphasizes the need for adoptive parents to be open-minded and supportive. 00:09:38 - Reunion and Family Dynamics Nicole shares that she reunited with her birth parents in 2004 and discovered that they had married each other, and she had two younger brothers. She reflects on the complex emotions that arose during reunion. 00:13:12 - The Complexity of Family Relationships The guest emphasizes that having a familial connection does not automatically guarantee a strong bond. She shares her personal experience of searching for belonging and finding it through her art and living abroad. 00:13:40 - Embracing Foreignness The guest talks about her experiences living in different countries as a foreigner and how it allowed her to explore her sense of belonging. She highlights the freedom that comes with not fitting into societal norms. 00:14:42 - Serendipitous Love Story The guest shares how she met her husband in Chile while doing research for her MFA. They were brought together by chance and their connection grew into a romantic relationship. 00:15:54 - From Architecture to Art The guest reveals her early aspirations of becoming an architect and her transition to art school. She explains how her interest in photography eventually led her to pursue a Master of Fine Arts (MFA) degree. 00:18:24 - Exploring Identity through Art The guest discusses her artistic process, which involves creating experimental videos and installations. She shares her journey of delving into the emotions surrounding her adoption and reunion through her art. 00:26:43 - The Embodiment of Singing Nicole and Beth discuss how singing is a unique form of artistic expression because the instrument is within the singer's body. Nic also mentions her collaboration with her birth father, a symphony percussionist. 00:27:53 - Growing Up in a Pragmatic Household Nicole reflects on her upbringing in a non-creative household and how she wishes she had grown up in a more artistic environment. She shares that her parents have always been supportive of her artistic pursuits. 00:28:57 - Overlapping Experiences of Belonging Nicole talks about the overlap between the experiences of adoptees and non-binary individuals in terms of not feeling a sense of belonging. She explains how she became involved in LGBTQ+ spaces through her connections in the art world. 00:29:42 - "We Are Not Our Cruxes" Project Nicole introduces her project, "We Are Not Our Cruxes," which aims to provide a space for adult adoptees and former foster care youth to share their struggles and create art as a form of healing. She explains the research component and invites people to participate. 00:35:27 - The Creative Corps Grant Nicole announces that the project will be offered for free thanks to her receipt of the Creative Corps Grant from the California Arts Council. She encourages people to attend the events, either in person or online, and shares the bit.ly link for more information.
/episode/index/show/32e8963a-2d90-4f3c-97bb-64ac96ea387d/id/28381226
info_outline
Belonging and Racial Identity for Late Discovery Adoptee Peter Capomolla Moore - Ep 115
10/16/2023
Belonging and Racial Identity for Late Discovery Adoptee Peter Capomolla Moore - Ep 115
Belonging and Racial Identity for Late Discovery Adoptee Peter Capomolla Moore Access a written transcript here, in case you have trouble understanding Peter's lovely Australian accent: "It's important for adoptees to understand and embrace their racial identity and sense of belonging. We must challenge the labels we are given and create our own narratives." - Peter Capomolla Moore Have you ever heard these myths about the significance of racial identity and belonging for adoptees? Myth #1: Adoptees don't need to worry about race because love is all that matters. Myth #2: Adopting a child from a different race erases their racial identity. Myth #3: Talking about race with adoptees will make them feel different and uncomfortable. In this episode, our guest Peter Capomolla Moore will debunk these myths and shed light on his own truth. In this episode, you will be able to: Gain insight into the unique experiences and challenges faced by adoptees when it comes to embracing their racial identity and how it shapes their sense of self. Uncover hidden truths through DNA testing: Learn about the role of DNA testing in unraveling family history and uncovering hidden connections, bridging the gap between adoptees and their biological origins. Navigate the unique emotional and psychological challenges faced by adoptees who discover their adoption later in life, and explore strategies for healing and finding acceptance. Learn about the importance of advocating for adoptee rights, understanding the legal and societal barriers that adoptees may face, and how to navigate the adoption system effectively. My special guest is Peter Capomolla Moore Peter Capomolla Moore is an Australian late discovery adoptee who has made significant strides in advocating for adoptee rights. As the president of Adoptee Rights Australia, Peter has fought tirelessly for the right of adoptees to obtain their own original birth certificate. He recently won a fight to have his birth father's name added to his original birth certificate, a battle that spanned six years. What sets Peter's story apart is the discovery, later in life, that he has Aboriginal heritage, leading him on a profound journey of cultural integration. With his unique background and personal experiences, Peter brings a valuable perspective to the conversation on the significance of racial identity and belonging for adoptees. His dedication to helping other adoptees navigate their own journeys is truly inspiring. =============== 📆 Community Calendar: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: =============== The resources mentioned in this episode are: Visit the Adoptee Rights Australia website to learn more about their advocacy work and how you can get involved: Find out more about Grandmothers Against Removal here: Other resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: Adoptee-Therapist Directory: =============== Cover photo credit: Renee Lydiard from Nikinpa Aboriginal Child and Family Centre Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on : =============== Uncover hidden truths It's essential for adoptees to unearth their origins and discover hidden truths about their past. These revelations, such as genetic history or familial connections, can play a significant role in their developmental and emotional journey. Knowing one's beginnings brings a sense of grounding and can lead to a greater understanding of one's identity and personal narrative. Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:01:28 - Land Acknowledgement, Peter Capomolla Moore starts with a traditional acknowledgement to country, recognizing the Aboriginal land they stand on and honoring the culture and customs of the traditional owners. 00:03:05 - Upbringing and Adoption Discovery, Peter describes his upbringing as a foster child in a stable but modest family. He shares his journey of discovering his adoption in 2017 through a DNA test, which led him to uncover the truth about his biological family. 00:06:11 - DNA Matches and Family Tree, Peter explains how he initially did the DNA test to understand his grandchildren's olive skin complexion but ended up finding a close DNA match. He delves into his confusion regarding the relationships and surnames in his DNA matches, which ultimately led him to realize he was adopted. 00:08:26 - Forced Adoption and Government Apology, Peter discovers that he was born in a Salvation Army hospital associated with forced adoptions in Australia. He discusses the government apology in 2013 and the dark history of forced adoption, trafficking, and trauma associated with it. 00:13:36 - Discovering the Truth, The guest shares their experience of finding out about their birth parents and the surprising revelation that their mother had known about their existence for only three weeks. They also mention how a family friend who worked at the hospital gave their birth mother their name. 00:14:26 - Reconnecting, Peter explains how they were able to get in touch with their birth mother through their brother. They talk about the emotional conversation they had with their mother, who expressed that she was forced to give them up for adoption. 00:15:18 - Forced Adoption, Peter clarifies that his trauma is adoption, while forced adoption is their mother's trauma. They emphasize the importance of distinguishing between the two and highlight the horrific experiences of forced adoption, including drugging women during childbirth. 00:16:05 - Loss and Reunion, The guest sadly reveals that their birth mother passed away in October of the previous year. They express the significance of being there for her in her final weeks. They also mention the Aboriginal heritage on their birth mother's side of the family. 00:19:39 - Aboriginal Identity, Peter discusses the three-part definition of being considered Aboriginal in Australia: descent, self-identification, and acceptance by the Aboriginal community. They emphasize that color does not define race and share their own experience of embracing their Aboriginal heritage. 00:27:37 - Introduction to the New Form The guest explains that there is a new birth certificate form that hasn't been approved yet, but the register knows about it. They discuss the options on the form, including whether to have the information on the original birth certificate or the integrated birth certificate. 00:28:20 - Concerns about the Integrated Birth Certificate The guest expresses their dislike for the integrated birth certificate, which includes the names of adoptive parents. They believe that while it may be suitable for current adoptees, it shouldn't be used for future adoptions. They emphasize the importance of truth and accuracy in adoption records. 00:29:45 - Issues with Promised Information on Birth Certificates The guest shares their concerns about the information included on birth certificates. They explain that many adoptees have been disappointed to find that the promised information, such as their father's name, is not actually included. This highlights the need for further improvements in adoption documentation. 00:30:19 - Challenges Faced by Adoptees Peter discusses the burdens placed on adoptees, particularly when it comes to changing their names on birth certificates. They express their empathy for adoptees and their desire to make the process easier for them. 00:32:07 - Involvement in Aboriginal Culture Peter shares his experience of getting involved in his Aboriginal culture. He explains how they received confirmation of their Aboriginal heritage and were invited to be an elder in the community. They discuss their role as an advocate for his culture in schools. 00:41:58 - Embracing Cultural Heritage, The importance of openness and embracing one's cultural heritage, regardless of whether it is good or bad, is highlighted. It is emphasized that medical history is especially vital. 00:42:14 - Personal Medical Condition, Peter shares his personal experience with a genetic condition in his leg called Popliteal entrapment syndrome. He almost lost his leg but was fortunate to have his adopted sister, a doctor, overseeing his treatment. 00:43:02 - Importance of Communication, The pain caused by Peter's adoptive parents not being open about medical histories is acknowledged. It is stressed that adoptive parents need to communicate with their children and not delay sharing important information. 00:43:45 - Embracing the Journey, The guest expresses that he would not turn back the clock on his adoption journey, as it has led to personal growth and meaningful experiences. It is implied that there is a reason for his survival.
/episode/index/show/32e8963a-2d90-4f3c-97bb-64ac96ea387d/id/28293548
info_outline
Unlocking Adoptees' Genetic Blueprint for Optimal Mental Health with Dr. Evelyn Higgins and Joey Nakao - Ep 114
10/09/2023
Unlocking Adoptees' Genetic Blueprint for Optimal Mental Health with Dr. Evelyn Higgins and Joey Nakao - Ep 114
"Don't let shame and stigma add to the struggles of being adopted. Personalized genetic testing can provide valuable insights and guidance for addiction treatment. Let's break the cycle and empower individuals to heal." - Dr. Evelyn Higgins Are you feeling overwhelmed by the endless trial and error of finding the right treatment for your mental health and/or addiction issues? Are you trying various medications and therapies that don't seem to alleviate your pain or provide lasting relief? I think many adoptees (and others!) can relate! It can be incredibly frustrating and disheartening to invest time, money, and hope into treatments that simply don't work, leaving you stuck in a cycle of disappointment and despair. WATCH THIS EPISODE ON YOUTUBE: Parts 2 and 3 include video content (starting at 40:00) In this episode, you will be able to: Discover how genetic testing can reveal your susceptibility to addiction and other system dysregulation and empower you to make informed choices for a healthier life. Understand the importance of exploring your genetic and family history in adoption to gain crucial insights into your potential health risks and make proactive decisions. Uncover the intricate connection between neurotransmitters and genetic variations in addiction and mental health, providing a new perspective on the underlying causes and potential solutions. Explore how personalized protocols tailored to your unique DNA can revolutionize your mental health and addiction recovery journey, unlocking a pathway to lasting transformation. Learn about the transformative power of addressing genetic imbalances through targeted interventions, offering hope and new possibilities for improved mental well-being and overcoming addiction. Hear (and see!) a real-life example of an adoptee going through the genetic testing. Find out the results that Joey received from his test and the customized protocol that was prescribed afterwards. =============== 📆 Community Calendar: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: =============== My special guests for this episode are Dr. Evelyn Higgins and my son Joey Nakao Dr. Evelyn Higgins is a highly accomplished professional in the field of addiction and integrative medicine. With 34 years of clinical experience, she holds expertise in addictionology and pain management. As the CEO and founder of Wired for Addiction, Dr. Higgins has dedicated herself to helping individuals struggling with addiction through personalized treatment plans based on genetic profiles. Wired for Addiction utilizes advanced technology to analyze 85 biomarkers, including neurotransmitters and genetic SNPs, providing a comprehensive understanding of an individual's unique biology. Through a 31-page gene mapping report, clients gain insights into their brain chemistry, hormonal interactions, and genetic aberrations related to addiction, anxiety, depression, and impulse control. Armed with this objective information, clients receive an individualized biochemical pathway support plan to guide their healing journey. Dr. Higgins' work has made a significant impact in the field, offering improved mental health and addiction treatment outcomes through personalized interventions tailored to each individual's genetic profile. Joey Nakao is a 19-year-old who has been on a journey of personal growth and healing while battling addiction for the past six years. As the son of Beth Syverson, the host of Unraveling Adoption, Joey's experience with addiction has led his family to explore numerous treatment options. Beth heard Dr. Evelyn Higgins on Heather Ross's podcast Living With Your Child's Addiction. She was fascinated with her expertise in addiction and genetic-based treatment plans. Joey decided to become a client of hers through her company Wired for Addiction (now also known as Wired BioHealth). With the hope of gaining insights into his unique biology and understanding how it relates to his addiction and mental health, Joey eagerly awaited the results of his gene mapping report, which you will hear about in this episode. By taking this proactive step, Joey is determined to improve his mental health and addiction treatment outcomes while uncovering a deeper understanding of himself. Through his journey, Joey aims to inspire and help others facing similar challenges, shedding light on the powerful impact of personalized interventions based on genetic profiles. The resources mentioned in this episode are: Check out Dr. Evelyn Higgins' company, Wired BioHealth (they just changed their name from Wired for Addiction), which works with individuals struggling with addiction, treatment centers, and correctional facilities. They create a 31-page gene mapping report based on saliva, cheek cells, and urine samples, helping people understand their unique biology as it relates to addiction and mental health. Watch Dr. Higgins' TedTalk about her work: Listen to Heather Ross's podcast, Living with Your Child's Addiction, where Dr. Higgins was a guest and shared valuable insights on addiction: Genetic Testing for Personalized Addiction Treatment Genetic testing provides an in-depth analysis that can be used to create personalized addiction treatment strategies. It takes into account the individual's unique genetic sequence and factors in potential medical conditions to offer tailored solutions. By providing a comprehensive understanding of an individual's body chemistry, it opens up new avenues for effective therapy and leads to improved outcomes.n This is particularly useful for adoptees who are not in an open relationship with their biological families. Role of Neurotransmitters in Addiction and Mental Health Neurotransmitters are the body's chemical messengers that play a significant role in addiction and mental health. Imbalances in neurotransmitter levels can contribute to addictive behaviors and mental health disorders like depression, anxiety, and schizophrenia. Understanding the complex workings of these neurotransmitters can provide insights into effective treatment strategies for addiction and mental health conditions. Other Resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: Adoptee-Therapist Directory: =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on : =============== Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:00:55 - Background and Connection to Adoption, Dr. Evelyn Higgins shares her personal connection to adoption and how it has influenced her work in addiction recovery. She discusses her late husband's [late discovery] adoption and the importance of knowing one's genetic and family history. 00:03:01 - Adoption and Addiction, The conversation turns to the link between adoption and addiction, with Dr. Higgins highlighting the higher prevalence of substance use disorders among adult adoptees. Beth shares her own experience as an adoptive parent of a son struggling with addiction. 00:07:38 - Gene Testing and Understanding DNA, Dr. Higgins explains the process of gene testing and how it has evolved since the completion of the Human Genome Project in 2003. She emphasizes the importance of understanding the role of genetics in addiction and mental health. 00:09:32 - The Test and Information Revealed, Dr. Higgins provides an overview of the Wired for Addiction test, which examines 85 different biomarkers related to neurotransmitters and brain chemicals. She explains that the test will provide Joey with personalized information about his unique biology and how it relates to addiction and mental health. 00:13:09 - The Importance of Personal Histories, Beth discusses her frustration with a healthcare provider who dismisses the reliability of genetic tests and prefers personal histories. She highlights the need for understanding and openness in healthcare professionals. 00:13:59 - The Need for Technology in Mental Health, The conversation emphasizes the importance of using technology in mental health to provide objective information and improve diagnosis and treatment. It challenges the stigma surrounding mental health and addiction. 00:16:57 - The Impact of Genetic Testing on Addiction, The guest explains that genetic testing for addiction provides a comprehensive clinical picture to individuals struggling with addiction. It often brings relief and understanding to both the individual and their family. 00:19:06 - Epigenetics and Addiction, Epigenetics plays a role in addiction, as it can determine whether certain genes related to addiction are expressed. Trauma and major life transitions can trigger the expression of these genes. 00:20:32 - Addiction and Mental Health, Addiction often stems from undiagnosed or untreated mental health conditions, trauma, or a combination of factors. Many individuals turn to substances as a form of self-medication, not realizing the underlying issues. 00:25:36 - The Power of Genetic Testing in Addiction Treatment, Dr. Higgins discusses a case study where genetic testing helped understand the impact of addiction on a child's biomarkers. The test provided valuable information on neurotransmitters and genetics, leading to successful treatment and a positive change in the child's behavior and family dynamics. 00:26:57 - The Benefits of Genetic Testing for Adoptees, Dr. Higgins emphasizes the importance of genetic testing for adoptees who may not have access to their birth family's medical history. Genetic testing can provide valuable insights into their own biology and help them make informed decisions about their health and lifestyle choices. 00:28:12 - Understanding the Genetic Basis of Mental Health, Dr. Higgins highlights the potential of genetic testing to uncover the underlying causes of mental health issues. By identifying specific genes and biomarkers, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of their struggles and develop personalized treatment plans for improved mental well-being. 00:30:43 - The Role of Free Will and Choice, Dr. Higgins acknowledges that genetic testing provides valuable information, but individuals still have the freedom to choose how they want to act on that information. It's up to each person to decide whether they want to pursue treatment options or make lifestyle changes based on their genetic results. 00:33:42 - The Emotional Impact of Genetic Testing, Dr. Higgins discusses an emotional moment during an earlier consultation with Joey, who expressed fear about discovering his true identity through genetic testing. 00:37:44 - The Importance of Maximizing Quality of Life, The speaker emphasizes the importance of maximizing quality of life and living it to the fullest. They discuss the impact of making positive changes and how it can affect not only individual lives but also the lives of those around them. 00:38:19 - Recognition for Life-Changing Work, The speaker expresses admiration for the guest's work and suggests that they should receive recognition, possibly even a Nobel Prize, for their efforts in changing lives and making a significant impact. WATCH THIS EPISODE ON YOUTUBE: Parts 2 and 3 include video content (starting at 40:00) 00:39:37 - Understanding Test Results, The guest explains the different sections of the test results, including neurotransmitters, epigenetics, supplement protocols, and pharmacogenic reports. They highlight the value of these tests in providing valuable information for understanding an individual's biology and making necessary changes for healing. 00:45:07 - Low Norepinephrine and Epinephrine Levels, The guest discusses Joey's low levels of norepinephrine and epinephrine, which can be associated with depression, mood changes, fatigue, and difficulty concentrating. They explain how these imbalances can affect motivation and make it challenging to achieve goals. 00:47:00 - Impact of Imbalanced Neurotransmitters, The speaker reveals Joey's low levels of glutamate, which can impact learning and memory. They discuss the negative effects of imbalanced neurotransmitters on an individual's self-esteem and overall quality of life. They express excitement about the potential for improvement and the positive changes that 00:52:59 - Genetic Single Nucleotide Polymorphisms, Dr. Higgins explains that polymorphism refers to errors in genetic coding and discusses the study of epigenetics. She emphasizes that our DNA can be upregulated or downregulated by our environment, which can have a profound impact on our biology. 00:54:25 - Gene Expression and Health, Dr. Higgins explains that lifestyle habits and environmental factors can change the expression of our genes, which can affect our health. She highlights the importance of a healthy lifestyle, stress management, and adequate sleep in maintaining optimal gene expression. 00:55:16 - Impact of Gene Polymorphisms, Dr. Higgins discusses specific gene polymorphisms and their implications. She explains that certain polymorphisms increase the risk of asthma and inflammatory disorders, while others contribute to a more robust inflammatory response. These gene variations can also affect neurotransmitters and brain chemicals, potentially leading to conditions like anxiety and depression. 00:57:27 - Autophagy and Cellular Quality Control, Dr. Higgins explains the concept of autophagy, which is responsible for clearing out cellular waste. She discusses specific gene variations related to autophagy and highlights the importance of maintaining a clean diet, good sleep, and reducing exposure to harmful substances to prevent the activation of these genes. 01:00:14 - Environmental Factors and Inflammatory Markers, Dr. Higgins discusses how our environment can affect inflammatory markers. She explains that certain gene variations increase the risk of autoimmune conditions and chronic 01:09:25 - Initial Reaction to the Genetic Information, Joey expresses feeling overwhelmed and impressed by the genetic information presented to him, noting that he has always enjoyed science and math. 01:10:04 - Addressing Addiction on a Genetic Level, Beth questions how the genetic information relates to addiction. Dr. Higgins explains that addiction is influenced by multiple genetic markers and factors working together, rather than a singular gene. 01:11:01 - Genetic Propensity and Substance Use, Dr. Higgins discusses the concept of a genetic predisposition to addiction, explaining that when multiple genetic markers are present, it creates a "perfect storm" for substance use to occur. 01:13:14 - Update on Joey's Progress, Joey shares his positive experience after taking the suggested supplements for seven weeks. He reports feeling different in a good way, with increased energy, focus, and productivity. 01:18:33 - Positive Changes and Future Outlook, Joey discusses the significant changes he has experienced, such as being more proactive, having ideas and following through on them. He expresses optimism about his future, focusing on productivity, stability, and happiness. 01:24:54 - Achieving Baseline and Personal Growth, The conversation discusses how achieving baseline in one's life allows for personal growth and pursuing other interests like going to the gym. It emphasizes the importance of being open to trying different things and acknowledges the hard work put into achieving this state. 01:25:27 - Wired for Addiction (Wired BioHealth), The podcast highlights the name change of Wired for Addiction to Wired BioHealth and encourages listeners to check out their website for more information. It expresses hope that this episode will help many people.
/episode/index/show/32e8963a-2d90-4f3c-97bb-64ac96ea387d/id/28251584
info_outline
Healing Adoption Trauma Through Alternative Therapies with Ridghaus - Ep 113
10/02/2023
Healing Adoption Trauma Through Alternative Therapies with Ridghaus - Ep 113
Reserve your FREE ticket to the Sacred Plant Medicine for Healing the Adoption Constellation webinar featuring Ridghaus as one of the panelists, December 3 at 1pm PST: "Somatic therapy starts to move the body...taking breaths, activating the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems so that I started to have full body sensation as we talked about different things." - Ridghaus In the depths of his journey through adoption, Ridghaus faced a powerful twist that would forever alter his path. What began as a selfless decision to relinquish this son for adoption suddenly transformed into a revelation about his own life. A surprising call from a social worker shattered his previous beliefs and opened new doors of possibility. In this episode, you will be able to: Understand the complexities of the adoptee experience and gain insights into its unique challenges and perspectives. Learn about trauma in the adoption constellation, and discover strategies for supporting healing and resilience. Recognize the importance of support and community for adoptees, and discover resources and networks to help navigate the journey. Discover the potential of psychedelics and Internal Family Systems therapy as innovative approaches for adoptee healing and personal growth. My special guest is Ridghaus Ridghaus is a fascinating and multi-talented individual who brings a unique perspective to the world of adoption. As a "human becoming" and lifelong learner, Ridghaus has explored various roles and identities, including being an archaeologist of cultural artifacts, a Dudeist priest, a poet, a teacher, a filmmaker, and a guide for others's journeys. His personal experiences with adoption have deeply shaped his understanding of the complexities within the adoption constellation. From relinquishing a son in an open adoption to discovering his own adoption later in life, Ridghaus has navigated the emotional terrain of adoption with resilience and introspection. His journey and his use of a controversial healing modality have provided him with valuable insights that he generously shares with others. Join us in this episode as we delve into Ridghaus' unique perspective and gain a deeper understanding of trauma and healing in the adoption journey. =============== 📆 Community Calendar: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: =============== The resources mentioned in this episode are: Check out Ridghaus House's creative work, Six Word Adoption Memoirs: https://vimeo.com/211568644 Attend the next Untangling our Roots summit this spring to connect with others in the adoption community: https://untanglingourroots.org/ Consider working with an adoption competent therapist to navigate the complexities of adoption. Check out the Adoptee Therapist Directory here: https://growbeyondwords.com/adoptee-therapist-directory/ Find support for adult children of alcoholics here: https://adultchildren.org/ Have you read The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk yet? https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/B08TX585RN Find out more about Internal Family Systems (IFS) here: https://ifs-institute.com/ Here are the books that are mentioned toward the end of the episode: How To Change Your Mind by Michael Pollan: https://www.amazon.com/Change-Your-Mind-Consciousness-Transcendence/dp/0735224153 This Is Your Mind on Plants by Michael Pollan: https://www.amazon.com/This-Your-Mind-Plants/dp/B08RF1K2LD The Botany of Desire by Michael Pollan: https://www.amazon.com/Botany-Desire-Plants-Eye-View-World/dp/B0B3L6G9F5 Braiding Sweet Grass by Robin Wall Kimmerer: https://www.amazon.com/Braiding-Sweetgrass-audiobook/dp/B01H4772CU The Doors of Perception by Aldous Huxley: https://www.amazon.com/The-Doors-of-Perception-audiobook/dp/B002LCSVB0 Other Resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: Adoptee-Therapist Directory: =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on : Understand Adoptee Complexities Adoptees often navigate a myriad of complex emotions and experiences related to their adoption. By gaining a deep understanding of these complexities, adoptive parents can better support their children in their unique journeys. This inclusive insight assists adoptive parents in forming a healthy, resilient dynamic within their family. Explore Trauma and Somatic Experiences It's critical for parents and caregivers to recognize the impact of trauma that can exist within the bodies of adoptees, even when it may not be expressed verbally. Moreover, somatic experiences like yoga or hip work can provide a gateway to this unexpressed or 'bodily' trauma. The exploration of these traumas can offer an alternate healing approach besides traditional talk therapies. Recognize Importance of Support Support plays an indispensable role in the healing journey of an adoptee, whether it be professional aid from therapists or somatic practitioners, or a comforting community that understands their experiences. Adoptees can benefit greatly from being surrounded by individuals who validate their emotions and experiences associated with adoption. Shared resonance creates a sense of belonging, and supportive spaces aid in articulating feelings productively. Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:01:26 - Ridg's Connections to Adoption, Ridg shares that his first connection to adoption was through relinquishing a son at 19. He also discovered his own adoption at 35. He discusses the challenges of being a biological father in an open adoption and the lack of support for biological fathers in adoption spaces. 00:05:20 - Discovering His Adoption, Ridg discusses his estranged relationship with his adoptive parents and their denial of his adoption. He shares the emotional impact of discovering his adoption and the importance of support and therapy in the reunion process. 00:08:59 - Reunion with Birth Mother, Ridg shares that his birth mother was looking for him and they have been in reunion since. He reflects on the challenges of the reunion process and the need for adoption-competent therapy to navigate the complexities of reunion. 00:10:26 - Adoptive Parent Perspective, Ridg discusses the delicate balance adoptive parents face in supporting their child's search for their birth family. He emphasizes the importance of adoptive parents doing their own personal work and being supportive without pressuring their child. 00:15:37 - The Body Keeps the Score and Somatic Experience, Trauma lives in the body and is experienced pre-verbally. Somatic experiences, like yoga, can access and work through these traumas in a different way than just talking about them. Hips store pre-verbal memory. 00:17:11 - Finding Support and Safe Spaces, It's important to have a support system and be in a safe space when delving into trauma. This can include therapists, somatic practitioners, or even trusted friends. Online and in-person communities can provide a sense of belonging. 00:18:19 - Survivor Bonds and Adoption as Trauma, Adoptees often form tight bonds with others who have had similar experiences, creating a sense of belonging and understanding. Adoption can be seen as a traumatic experience, but societal narratives often suppress this perspective, making it important for adoptees to find validation and support. 00:20:10 - Acceptance and Understanding at Adoption Conferences, Adoption conferences provide a space for adoptees to express themselves and be understood without judgment. The connections made at these conferences are deep and rooted in shared experiences of trauma and identity. Non-adoptive attendees can also find acceptance and understanding. 00:22:08 - The Challenges of Adoptive Parenthood, Adoptive parents often bear the brunt of adoptees' pain and anger, as they are the immediate connection to the adoption experience. It's important for adoptive parents to do their own personal work and educate themselves on adoption trauma. 00:30:33 - The Openness of Internal Family Systems (IFS), The guest discusses the beauty of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy and how it allows for flexibility and openness. There is no dogma or strict rules, and individuals can personalize the therapy to fit their needs. 00:31:11 - Understanding Suicidal Parts in IFS, The host shares a personal experience of working with a suicidal part with her son. She explains that this part is not trying to kill the person, but rather to eliminate the pain. Understanding this has been helpful in managing the suicidal part and keeping Joey alive. 00:31:54 - IFS Therapy and Psychedelics, The guest practices IFS therapy and also incorporates psychedelics into their work. He explain that psychedelics can be a powerful tool for healing and awakening, but emphasizes the importance of having a sitter or guide during the experience. Integration is also crucial for lasting change. 00:35:18 - Different Doses of Psychedelics, The guest explains the different doses of psychedelics, from micro-dosing to heroic doses. They clarify that a heroic dose is not about slaying a dragon, but about deepening the journey and seeking major healing or awakening. He also emphasizes the importance of integration after the experience. 00:40:00 - The Transformative Power of Psychedelics, Both the guest and the host share their personal experiences with psychedelics and the transformative experiences they've had. 00:45:53 - The Importance of Protecting the Inner Child, The guest emphasizes the importance of being fiercely protective of one's inner child and offers various therapeutic approaches to connect with and understand this part of oneself, including talk therapy and somatic therapy. Psychedelics, when used in conjunction with Internal Family Systems therapy, can provide immediate access to the Protector and facilitate a conversation with the inner child. 00:46:55 - Exploring Deep Emotional Spaces with Psychedelics, Psychedelics allow individuals to delve into pre-verbal and cultural burdens that may be affecting their well-being. By facing these deep-rooted issues with the guidance of a therapist, adoptees can find healing and a greater sense of wholeness. 00:48:11 - Symbolic Experiences and Healing, Ridg shares a personal experience with symbolism during a psychedelic journey, where holding a penny with images of Abraham Lincoln and a shark represented something deeper than just money. This symbolic experience brought about a sense of ease and helped lessen the impact of the guest's adoption-related concerns. 00:49:46 - Psychedelics as a Tool for Adoptees, Psychedelics, when used in a therapeutic context, can be a powerful tool for adoptees carrying cultural burdens and unresolved trauma. By engaging in preparatory work and integrating experiences, adoptees may find themselves more capable of taking on the challenges and healing on a profound level. 00:53:07 - Honoring Indigenous Knowledge and Ancient Practices, Ridg and Beth acknowledge the rich cultural history and knowledge about plant medicines that Indigenous people hold. Even though psychedelics are re-emerging in our culture, it's important to remember that these medicines are ancient and come from a deeply spiritual context.
/episode/index/show/32e8963a-2d90-4f3c-97bb-64ac96ea387d/id/28184255
info_outline
Troubling Tropes in Media's Adoption Stories with Kira Omans - Ep 112
09/25/2023
Troubling Tropes in Media's Adoption Stories with Kira Omans - Ep 112
Troubling Tropes in Media's Adoption Stories with Kira Omans "Adoptees are so infantilized in media and just seen as subjects in need of rescue and that they were given an opportunity at a better life." - Kira Omans In a world where narratives shape our perceptions, Kira Omans defies expectations. As a transracial adoptee from China, she carries a tale waiting to unfold. But when she stepped into the glimmering lights of Los Angeles that she became more aware of the cruel twist that media had woven for adoptees. With a fire in her heart and a determination in her eyes, Kira has embarked on a journey to challenge the harmful stereotypes in media. In this episode, you will be able to: Look anew at insidious adoption narratives in mainstream media and discover their lasting effects. Explore the unique identity challenges that transracial adoptees encounter. Understand the implications of white saviorism in shaping false adoption narratives. Identify pervasive and harmful stereotypes about adoptees portrayed in popular culture. Understand the vital importance of hearing adoption stories directly from the adoptees themselves. =============== 📆 Community Calendar: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: =============== My special guest is Kira Omans With a heart for advocacy and a passion for performing, Kira Omans is a force to be reckoned with in the media industry. As an Asian-American adoptee, Kira was raised in a mostly white community in Alexandria, Virginia, and her unique upbringing has significant influence on her career and activism today. As an actor, stunt person, and voiceover artist now based in Los Angeles, she has landed roles which showcaseher talent and commitment to her craft. Yet, more important to her than the glamour of Hollywood, is the work she's doing to challenge and change demeaning adoption narratives within media spaces. Kira is dedicated to ensuring that adoptees, particularly those from transracial backgrounds, are portrayed more accurately and respectfully in their on-screen representations. The resources mentioned in this episode are: Visit Kira Omans' website to watch her stunt reel and learn more about her work in front of the camera and microphone: https://www.kiraomans.com/ Click on Kira's social media links: Linktree | Instagram | Facebook | TikTok Check out Kira's new database for Adoptees in Media, and add your own name if you work professionally in the media: bit.ly/adopteesinentertainment Support Chinese Adoptee Alliance, an organization that Kira Omans is involved with, by visiting their website and considering a donation or getting involved in their advocacy work: https://www.fccny.org/ Watch the movie Crazy Rich Asians to support the representation of Asian actors and actresses in the film industry: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3104988/ Consider watching the Barbie movie featuring Simu Liu, an Asian actor breaking barriers in Hollywood: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1517268 Watch the film JoyRide that Kira mentions in this episode: Other Resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: Adoptee-Therapist Directory: =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to [email protected] Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on : Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption =============== Explore unique identity challenges The identity challenges that adoptees face, particularly transracial adoptees, are unique and complex. Nearly always wading through questions of identity and belonging, these individuals often grapple with a meaningful connection to their culture of origin. Exploring these unique challenges is essential in acknowledging and understanding the multifaceted narratives that every adoptee carries within, thereby preventing oversimplification or misconstruction of their identities in media. Understand implications of white saviorism The implications of white saviorism are deeply embedded within adoption narratives, often overshadowing the voices of adoptees. This common trope centers the narrative on adoptive parents rather than the adoptees themselves, creating an imbalanced representation. Grasping the nuances of these implications will challenge and change the prevailing discourse in the media by encouraging a balanced, adoptee-centric narrative. Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:01:16 - Kira's Adoption Story, Kira shares that she was adopted from Zhongshan, China at ten months old and raised in Alexandria, Virginia by white adoptive parents in a predominantly white community. She also discusses her connection to her Chinese culture through Chinese dance and Chinese school. 00:02:22 - Acting Career and Adoption, Kira talks about her love for acting and how her adoption story may have influenced her career choice. She shares that initially, she was offered small stereotypical roles, but has seen a positive shift in the industry since the release of Crazy Rich Asians. 00:06:29 - Cultural Identity and Representation, Kira discusses the challenges of navigating cultural identity as an adoptee and feeling excluded from certain aspects of Asian American culture. She emphasizes that adoptees are still valid members of the diaspora and talks about the importance of representation in media. 00:10:40 - Progress in the Entertainment Industry, Kira expresses her optimism about the progress being made in the entertainment industry regarding Asian representation. She shares that she feels supported by her agent and manager in pursuing meaningful roles and representing herself authentically. 00:13:26 - The controversy surrounding Michael Oher's story, The guest discusses her frustration with the fact that Michael Oher, the subject of the film and book The Blind Side, did not receive any financial compensation. She also highlights the discrepancy in accounts between Oher's "adoptive" father and brother. 00:14:37 - The importance of evidence in court, The guest expresses hope that Michael Oher has gathered enough evidence to support his claims before going public with his story. She emphasizes the need for him to prove these things in court. 00:15:19 - Adoption revelations and paper trails, The guest discusses how many adoptees, including Michael Oher, find out about important details of their adoption later in life. She reflects on the challenges of discovering that you were not legally adopted and the difficulty of finding information about one's birth family. 00:16:49 - Adoption narratives in media, The guest criticizes the portrayal of adoption in movies like The Blind Side and Instant Family, highlighting the white saviorism and infantilization of adoptees. She argues that these narratives promote harmful stereotypes and overlook the adoptee experience. 00:20:28 - Tropes and harmful narratives in movies and TV, The guest discusses the prevalence of the orphan trope in movies and how it simplifies the adoptee experience. She also highlights the harmful narrative that reunion with birth parents is the ultimate resolution for adoptees, emphasizing that this is not always possible or desirable. 00:28:23 - Exclusion in Media Representation, The guest expresses feeling excluded by the narrative of the film Joyride due to the lack of adoptee representation. They discuss the importance of adoptees having ownership of their own stories and the negative impact of adoption being used as a punchline or insult in media. 00:29:53 - Positive Representation in This Is Us, The guest praises the portrayal of a transracial adoptee character in the TV show This Is Us and highlights the involvement of Angela Tucker, a knowledgeable transracial black adoptee, as a consultant. They emphasize the importance of accurate and complex depictions of adoptees' stories. 00:31:10 - Involving Adoptees in Media, The guest encourages the involvement of adoptees in the media industry, both as consultants and in creative roles. They suggest hiring adoptees early in the process to ensure accurate representation and avoid exploitative portrayals. 00:32:03 - Reflecting on Adoption's Role in Storytelling, The guest advises media creators to reflect on whether adoption is necessary to the plotline and if they are the right person to tell an adoptee's story. They stress the importance of doing research and respecting the adoption community before involving adoptees in the storytelling process. 00:33:16 - Amplifying the Message, The host encourages listeners to share the episode with people in the media industry to raise awareness about the impact of inaccurate and hurtful adoption tropes.
/episode/index/show/32e8963a-2d90-4f3c-97bb-64ac96ea387d/id/28118921
info_outline
Uncovering Hidden Roots with Peter O'Brien - Ep 111
09/18/2023
Uncovering Hidden Roots with Peter O'Brien - Ep 111
Uncovering Hidden Roots with Peter O'Brien Uncover the profound journey of a late discovery adoptee (LDA) as he confronts the shocking truth of his adoption, embarks on a relentless search for his birth family, and navigates the complex emotions and conflicting loyalties that arise along the way. Find out the interesting way he found out he was adopted in his mid-50s, even though his adoptive parents were planning to go to the grave without him finding out. "Finding my biological family was a journey filled with ups and downs, but in the end, it helped me understand a part of myself that I never knew existed." -- Peter O'Brien In this episode, you will be able to: Expose the clandestine aspects of late adoption and learn how to surf the emotional rollercoaster it brings to the adoptee. Learn about the significant role of DNA testing in the quest for unveiling birth family genealogy. Realize the damage caused by secrecy within adoption and the indispensable role of openness. Understand the emotional maze that reunions can present and how to manage challenging expectations and outcomes. Arm yourself with the knowledge to extend support to those on their epic journey of finding biological roots and reckoning with adoption. =============== 📆 Community Calendar: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: =============== My special guest is Peter O'Brien Today’s guest on Unraveling Adoption is the fascinating Peter O'Brien. A late discovery adoptee, Peter's world was transformed in his mid-50s as he unearthed the secret of his adoption. Originating from Sydney, Australia, this retired accountant-turned-genealogist, leveraged his passion for family history to aid his personal awakening and understanding of his adoption journey. While his incredible story does have a twist of irony to it, it demonstrates Peter's resilience and strength in facing intriguing and often challenging revelations. His wisdom and experiences provide invaluable insights for those just discovering their adoption and grapplying with the multifaceted complexities. The resources mentioned in this episode are: Contact Peter directly: Connect with the Post Adoption Resource Center in New South Wales for assistance and support in your own adoption journey: Listen to Unraveling Adoption’s episode with DNA expert Julie Dixon Jackson: If you are an adoptee, consider seeking counseling or therapy to process the emotions and complexities that may arise from learning about your adoption later in life. Here is a list of adoptee therapists in the US: If you are an adoptive parent, educate yourself on the importance of open and honest communication with your child about their adoption story. Join APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption's Challenges: The Role of DNA Testing in Finding Relatives DNA testing has emerged as a crucial tool for adoptees seeking to uncover their genetic roots and find their biological families. For Peter, DNA genealogy was instrumental in locating his birth mother and unraveling the identity of his birth father. However, it's crucial to manage expectations when using DNA testing, as the results can sometimes lead to complex and challenging family dynamics like in Peter's case of finding out his birth father had abandoned both his families. The Impact of Secrets in Adoption Adoption secrets can have profound implications on an adoptee's sense of self and their emotional well-being. The harm induced by such secrecy can be long-lasting, creating feelings of betrayal and resentment, as evidenced by Peter's experience. This key value underscores the importance of transparency in adoption, advocating for a shift from earlier practices of shrouding adoption in secrecy, towards a more open and supportive approach. =============== Other Resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: Adoptee-Therapist Directory: =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on : =============== Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:00:00 - Introduction and Background Host Beth Syverson introduces the podcast and guest Peter O'Brien, a late discovery adoptee. Peter shares that he found out he was adopted in his mid-50s and discusses his childhood, which was seemingly normal with loving parents. He mentions that adoption was not on his radar until he learned the truth. 00:04:16 - Discovery of Adoption Peter's mother, who had dementia, revealed to his sister that he was adopted while in a nursing home. His sister, unsure if he was aware, eventually told him the truth. Peter experienced conflicting emotions of anger and gratitude towards his parents for never telling him. 00:09:42 - Searching for Biological Family Peter quickly took action to find his birth mother after receiving basic information from the Post Adoption Resource Center. With his genealogy background, he located her within a few hours. Through an intermediary, he established contact and eventually met his birth mother, along with her siblings. 00:11:46 - Meeting Birth Mother Peter's initial meeting with his birth mother and her family was both lovely and traumatic. There were many people present, including Peter's wife, daughter, and sister. Although his birth mother was initially overwhelmed, they continued to stay in touch and develop a relationship. 00:12:16 - Continued Relationship Peter and his birth mother maintained regular contact through phone calls and visits. Despite living a few hours apart, they made efforts to see each other. 00:13:54 - The Connection with Birth Mother, The guest discusses how most adoptees are naturally gravitated towards their birth mother and recalls that his birth mother had a strong negative feeling towards his birth father even 55 years later. 00:14:20 - Challenges in Discovering Birth Father, The guest shares that his birth mother eventually developed dementia before he could press the issue further, and she passed away shortly after they met. He then explains how he took a DNA test to find his birth father but initially struggled to understand the results. 00:15:45 - Finding DNA Matches and Identifying Grandparents, The guest describes how he took a DNA test with Ancestry and eventually got better results and more helpful DNA matches. After researching his grandparents, he identifies a younger son who could potentially be his father and reaches out to his aunt and cousin for confirmation. 00:17:17 - Confirming Father's Identity, The guest explains how his cousin did a DNA test, which proved that they were first cousins, ultimately confirming the identity of his birth father. He reveals that his birth father had already passed away and had a complicated personal history, including abandoning his first family. 00:19:55 - Challenges in Building Relationships, The guest reflects on the difficulty of building relationships with his birth family, as they come from different backgrounds and have little in common apart from their DNA. He also shares that some family members were not receptive to forming a relationship, leading to strained connections. 00:27:43 - The Impact of DNA Genealogy for Adoptees, DNA genealogy provides a significant help to adoptees, especially those who find out about their adoption later in life. It takes a weight off their shoulders and allows them to navigate their new reality more easily. 00:29:24 - Unraveling Family Secrets through DNA Testing, DNA tests have revealed many family secrets, including cases where people discover that their supposed family tree is incorrect. Adoptees and others have found unexpected relatives and uncovered hidden truths through DNA matches. 00:30:05 - Changing Attitudes towards Adoption and Secrets, The societal attitudes towards adoption and secrets have been evolving. In the past, adoption was often shrouded in secrecy and shame. However, with the advancement of DNA testing and changing social norms, there is a growing emphasis on openness and honesty in adoption. 00:31:49 - Embracing the Possibility of Biological Family Connections, Adoptive parents and adoptees should see the discovery of biological family as an addition to their lives, rather than something that takes away from their existing relationships. It is important to approach reunions and connections with realistic expectations. 00:35:25 - The Emotional Complexity of Adoption Reunions, Reconnecting with biological family members can be emotionally complex. While some reunions are positive and fulfilling, others may be challenging or disappointing. Managing expectations and seeking support from adoption therapists can be helpful in navigating these reunions.
/episode/index/show/32e8963a-2d90-4f3c-97bb-64ac96ea387d/id/28050702
info_outline
Reimagining Culture's Adoption Narratives with Gayle Swift - Ep 110
09/11/2023
Reimagining Culture's Adoption Narratives with Gayle Swift - Ep 110
Reimagining Culture's Adoption Narratives with Gayle Swift "What our children need is our common ground, our empathy, our support. They need us to step into their lens and understand their pain and feelings."- Gayle Swift What if the prevailing mindset surrounding adoption isn't as positive as we think? In this eye-opening conversation between Beth and adoption expert Gayle Swift, the US culture's (and churches') impact on adoption is challenged. It may cause you to question everything you thought you knew about adoption. Which adoption myths do you believe? And are you willing to view it differently - from an adoptees' perspective? In this episode, you will be able to: Gain acknowledgment for an adoptee's biological heritage and interests, fostering a more comprehensive perspective about adoption. Uncover the concept known as the ghost kingdom and how it impacts adoptees, deepening your awareness of their inner world. Question the term 'Gotcha Day' and explore alternative ways to celebrate adoption, broadening your perspective on this pivotal event. Understand the immense influence the church has on adoption, and the growing need for enlightenment and support. =============== 📆 Community Calendar: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: =============== My special guest is Gayle Swift Gayle Swift is a compassionate and understanding advocate for adoption, armed with both personal experience and professional knowledge. Diagnosed with cancer at a young age which took away her ability to get pregnant, Gayle and her husband took the path of adoption, solidifying a decision they'd made earlier in life. Now, she's an author of three influential and insightful books focused on adoption for varying age groups. Her mission isn’t confined to writing as she also co-founded 'Growing Intentional Families Together', a platform aimed at educating and supporting adoptive families. An adoptive parent herself, she shines a light on the intricate complexities of adoption, dispelling myths and encouraging a deep understanding. The resources mentioned in this episode are: Check out Gayle Swift's three books about adoption: ABC Adoption & Me (Revised and Reillustrated): A Multicultural Picture Book: We're Adopted, So What? Teens Tell It Like It Is: Reimagining Adoption: What Adoptees Seek from Families and Faith: Explore Gayle Swift's organization, Growing Intentional Families Together, which offers coaching and support for families before and after adoption: Listen to the podcast Essentials of Adoption Attuned Parenting by Gayle Swift's organization: Reconsider the use of Gotcha Day celebrations and instead acknowledge the loss and gain of adoption in a more adoptee-centric way. Read Gayle's blog post about Gotcha Day: Understanding the Impact of the Ghost Kingdom The concept of the 'Ghost Kingdom' refers to the emotional and psychological impact of the adoptee's separation from their birth families. This 'phantom pain' often gets overlooked due to the celebration of adoption. Gayle Swift suggests this trauma needs more recognition, and adoptive parents should be sensitive to the layered emotions their children might experience due to their complex histories. Acknowledging Adoptees' Heritage and Interests To offer adoptees a healthy upbringing, it is vital to acknowledge their heritage and personal interests. Adoption should not mean erasure of their original identities or silencing their stories. Foster open discussions about their birth families and past, making them feel valued and heard, and consider their cultural and personal interests while making decisions about their upbringing. =============== Other Resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: Adoptee-Therapist Directory: =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: =============== Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:01:44 - Gayle's Adoption Story, Gayle shares her family's adoption story, how she chose adoption after infertility, and her initial understanding of adoption based on cultural presuppositions. She talks about the struggles she and her spouse faced as adoptive parents and the importance of understanding the complexities of adoption. 00:05:17 - Supporting Adopted Children, Beth and Gayle discuss the challenges of supporting adopted children and the importance of validating their experiences and acknowledging their birth families. They emphasize the need for adoptive parents to understand and appreciate their child's unique qualities and not denigrate their birth families. 00:08:52 - Understanding Adopted Children's Perspectives, Gayle talks about the concept of the "ghost kingdom," where adopted children have fantasies and thoughts about their birth parents. She emphasizes the importance of recognizing and exploring these thoughts with children to validate their experiences. 00:11:38 - Rethinking Metaphors and Celebrations, The conversation addresses the use of metaphors like puzzle pieces and the celebration of "Gotcha Day." They discuss the limitations and potential negative impacts of these metaphors and suggest alternative approaches to celebrating adoption. 00:13:47 - The Phantom Pain of Missing Families, The metaphor of phantom pain in missing limbs can also apply to the phantom pain of missing families in adoption. Celebrating adoption in a limited view may not do justice to the complex emotions and experiences of adopted children. It's important for parents to create an open and supportive space for their children to express their feelings. 00:14:41 - Celebrating Homecoming Day, Instead of focusing solely on adoption day, parents can celebrate Homecoming Day or Arrival Day as an opportunity to talk about the complex emotions surrounding adoption. This allows children to express their feelings and acknowledge the presence of both joy and sadness. It is important for parents to have welcoming body language during these conversations. 00:16:09 - The Gray Areas of Adoption, Children's books that depict adoption as purely positive fail to address the complexity of adoption. It is important to introduce the concept of gray areas to children from a young age, as life is rarely black and white. By encouraging open conversations about complex emotions, parents can lay the groundwork for future discussions during adolescence. 00:19:21 - Providing Empathy and Support, When adopted children express difficult emotions, it is crucial for parents to respond with empathy and support. Instead of dismissing their feelings or becoming emotionally overwhelmed, parents should create a safe space for their children to express their pain and offer understanding. This allows for a deeper connection and support between parent and child. 00:22:46 - The Need for Adoption Education, Adoption competency is so important for adoptive parents, plus teachers, ministers, and community members. 00:26:51 - Give Families Grace, Extended families should be given grace as they learn about adoption, but it is important that adoptive parents advocate for their adopted children. 00:27:34 - The Church's Impact on Adoption, The church has been a strong advocate for adoption but has not updated its understanding of adoption. The false belief that adoption is benign persists in many churches, and some even see adoption as a way to save souls. Education is crucial for the church to better serve adopted individuals. 00:29:31 - Reimagining Adoption in the Church, Gayle's book, Reimagining Adoption: What Adoptees Seek from Families and Faith, aims to educate the church about adoption complexity and the need to understand the seven core issues of adoption. The church should support both widows and orphans together, rather than separating them, and focus on preserving families instead of immediately suggesting adoption. 00:32:37 - The Trauma of Birth Mothers, Birth mothers often face vilification and judgment, both for their decision to place their child for adoption and for seeking to reconnect with their birth family later on. The church should acknowledge and address the trauma experienced by birth mothers and provide support and resources to help them keep their families together. 00:38:00 - Educating the Church Community, The church community, including pastors, elders, and citizens, needs to be reeducated about adoption and the negative fallout that can occur. Many adoptees and birth mothers may be hiding their experiences, and it is important to create a safe and understanding environment within the Church. 00:40:34 - The Beliefs and Presuppositions about Adoption, The conversation highlights the prevalence of pro-adoption beliefs in the Christian world. It discusses how these beliefs can lead to a biased perspective on adoption, overlooking the consequences of early maternal-child separation and minimizing the importance of a child's first family. 00:42:02 - Changing Mindsets in the Church and Culture, The guest emphasizes the need to challenge old mindsets in the church and society regarding adoption. Gayle and Beth discuss the importance of prioritizing the well-being of adoptees and recognizing that they had no choice in the matter. The goal is to create a safer and more loving environment for all involved. 00:43:30 - Aptitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents, The conversation introduces AP titude, a support group for adoptive parents facing adoption challenges. It distinguishes this group from others that solely celebrate adoption, focusing instead on addressing the difficulties adoptive families may encounter. The group aims to provide resources and a community for parents navigating these challenges. 00:44:30 - Patreon Account and Supporting the Podcast, Beth mentions the Unraveling Adoption Patreon account, explaining how it helps sustain the podcast by covering various expenses. They encourage listeners to contribute if they find value in the content and want to support the podcast's continuation. 00:45:38 - Gayle Swift's services, Gayle Swift's services as a coach and speaker are highlighted. She offers individual and family coaching, as well as group sessions. Gayle is available for various speaking engagements as well.
/episode/index/show/32e8963a-2d90-4f3c-97bb-64ac96ea387d/id/27984429