Unraveling Adoption
An intentional space to delve into adoption's complexities together, hosted by adoptive mom and adoptee advocate Beth Syverson. She and her young adult son began this podcast to help other families with adoptees struggling with addiction and mental health issues. It features the voices of a diverse array of adoptees and (occasionally) others with unique perspectives on adoption. Unraveling Adoption aims to elevate family preservation as the ideal, and amplify the voices of the traditionally marginalized.
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The Impact of Colonization on an Inuit Greenlander Adoptee in Denmark with Kâlánguak Absalonsen - Ep 155
07/22/2024
The Impact of Colonization on an Inuit Greenlander Adoptee in Denmark with Kâlánguak Absalonsen - Ep 155
"We have only ourselves. And when I'm thinking about that, I'm thinking how strong we are. Because we have survived and still live and still create and still talk about our history." -- Kâlánguak Absalonsen 📘📘📘Join the Book Launch Team for our soon-to-be-published book Adoption and Suicidality by clicking here: 📘📘📘 Episode Summary: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with Kâlánguak Absalonsen, an adopted person from Greenland living in Denmark. Kâlánguak shared her unique perspective on adoption, colonization, and the challenges faced by Inuit people in Denmark. She highlighted the impact of colonization on adoption practices and the struggle to maintain cultural identity in a foreign environment. Kâlánguak’s personal journey of self-discovery and reconnecting with her Inuit roots was both inspiring and heartbreaking. She emphasized the importance of giving voice to marginalized communities, like Inuit adoptees, and the strength it takes to navigate the complexities of adoption without the support of family. Through her blog, book, and advocacy work, Kâlánguak is shedding light on the experiences of Inuit adoptees and challenging the narratives imposed on them by society. Her resilience and determination to reclaim her identity serve as a powerful reminder of the strength within adoptees. As the host, I was deeply moved by Kâlánguak’s story and her courage to speak out. I encourage listeners to visit her website, read her book, and support her efforts to amplify the voices of Inuit adoptees. Let's continue to spread awareness and understanding of adoption's complexities and support adoptees in their journey of self-discovery and healing. =============== 📆 Community Calendar: ✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: =============== RESOURCES: Kâlánguak’s contact information: Discovery Kâlánguak’s website (in English and Danish): Connect with Kâlánguak on Facebook and find her blog posts (translatable on Facebook): Here’s her beadwork on Instagram: Check out Kâlánguak‘s beading handiwork in a video: And here’s the cover of her beautiful book (in Danish) called Lille: Other Resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Check out our website: Create your own podcast through Libsyn: Time Stamps: 00:00:00 - Introduction to Kâlánguak and adoption in Denmark 00:01:32 - History Lesson on Greenland and Denmark 00:04:04 - Kâlánguak's Adoption Story 00:08:18 - Challenges Faced Growing Up in Denmark 00:11:04 - Learning Style Differences 00:13:35 - Transition to Adulthood and Career Path 00:15:56 - Discovering Learning Disability 00:19:36 - Estrangement from Adoptive Parents 00:22:08 - Impact of Colonization on Identity 00:24:34 - The Impact of Adoption on Kâlánguak's Life 00:26:37 - Advocacy for Inuit People and Adoptees 00:30:26 - Strength and Resilience of Adoptees
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Finding Meaning in Adversity with Stephen Rowley - Ep 154
07/15/2024
Finding Meaning in Adversity with Stephen Rowley - Ep 154
"The experience of being stuck is a pretty good place to be, I think, a lot of times in therapy and life." - Stephen Rowley 📘📘📘Join the Book Launch Team for our soon-to-be-published book Adoption and Suicidality by clicking here: 📘📘📘 Podcast Episode Synopsis: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Stephen Rowley, a school administrator, college professor, and psychotherapist who shared his fascinating journey of adoption and destiny. Steve's memoir, The Lost Coin: A Memoir of Adoption and Destiny, delves into the complexities of adoption and the impact it has had on his life. Steve shared insights into his adoption experience, including the profound moment of reconnecting with his birth mother at the age of 40. This emotional reunion brought a sense of closure and connection that Steve had been yearning for, despite the challenges and complexities that came with it. Throughout the conversation, Steve delved into the Zen concept of the lost coin, highlighting the idea of mystery and intuition in navigating life's challenges and uncertainties. He shared how his adoption and relinquishment played a significant role in shaping his response to being fired from his superintendent job, leading to a period of introspection and growth. We explored Steve's deep connection to spirituality, psychology, and therapy, discussing the importance of patience, resilience, and self-discovery in navigating life's obstacles. Steve's unique perspective on karma, belief systems, and the concept of designing one's own life path provided thought-provoking insights into personal growth and understanding. As an advocate for progressive education and a believer in creating schools that work for all children, Steve shared his vision for transformative educational practices. His experiences growing up in the Midwest and the values instilled by his family underscored the importance of respect, kindness, and community in shaping his worldview. Overall, Steve's story of adoption, resilience, and spiritual growth provided a powerful narrative of self-discovery and the transformative power of embracing life's challenges with patience and curiosity. =============== 📆 Community Calendar: ✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: =============== RESOURCES: Stephen’s information: Buy Stephen’s book, The Lost Coin: A Memoir of Adoption and Destiny: Check out Stephen’s website: Find Stephen: on Facebook: on Instagram: on LinkedIn: or on X (Twitter): Other Resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Check out our website: Create your own podcast through Libsyn: =============== TIME STAMPS: 00:00:00 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption 00:05:30 - Unexpected Turn of Events 00:08:09 - Impact of Adoption on Firing 00:10:28 - Reflections on Life Choices 00:14:27 - Exploring Existential Questions 00:17:21 - Finding Meaning in Adversity 00:20:16 - Vision for Progressive Education 00:21:28 - Influence of Midwest Upbringing 00:23:34 - Contact Information and Conclusion
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Unraveling Adoption Update: New Book Launch and Other Collaborations with Beth Syverson - Ep 153
07/08/2024
Unraveling Adoption Update: New Book Launch and Other Collaborations with Beth Syverson - Ep 153
Podcast Episode Synopsis: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I, Beth Syverson, provide a detailed update on the latest happenings within the Unraveling Adoption community. As an adoptive mom to my son Joey, we are dedicated to delving into the complexities of adoption and providing support to those impacted by adoption. Book Launch Announcement: The main highlight of this episode is the impending launch of our first book in the Unraveling Adoption book series. Titled Adoption and Suicidality, this anthology features stories, poems, and resources for adoptees, families, healthcare professionals, and allies. The book, co-authored by Joey and me along with 14 contributors, aims to open up conversations about suicide, a crucial but often overlooked topic in the adoption community. The book features contributions from 11 adoptees who share their personal struggles with suicidality, as well as three mothers who tragically lost their children to suicide. Dr. Joyce Maguire Pavao, an adoptee and psychotherapist, has written the Foreword, lending her expertise to the project. The book is divided into three sections: our family story, contributions from adoptees and mothers, and a comprehensive list of resources for support. Listeners are invited to join the book launch team, where they can receive a free copy of the book in advance and help spread the word on social media. The goal is to reach a wide audience, including therapists, pediatricians, adoption agencies, and individuals with struggling teens. I also discuss upcoming books in the series, focusing on topics like adoption and sacred plant medicine and adoption and ADHD. Community Engagement: Listeners are encouraged to explore the Unraveling Adoption Patreon, where they can support the podcast and gain access to exclusive benefits. I express gratitude to current Patreon supporters and extend an invitation to join the community. Coaching Services: As a certified coach, I offer coaching services aimed at validating experiences and guiding individuals towards solutions. Special discounts are available for podcast listeners who book coaching sessions in July 2024. =============== 📆 Community Calendar: ✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: =============== RESOURCES mentioned in this episode: Join the Adoption and Suicidality Book Launch Team here: Hear previous episodes by some of our book’s contributors: Addressing LGBTQ+ Adoption Stigmas with Tony Hynes - Ep 93: Exposing the Dangers of Secrets & Lies with Greg Rostron - Ep 97: Coming Out of the Fog with Melissa Brunetti - Ep 106: Investigating Adoption's Fault Lines with Birth Mother Lorraine Dusky - Ep 108: Healing Adoption Trauma Through Alternative Therapies with Ridghaus - Ep 113: Access the Healing the Adoption Constellation Database here: Access the Community Calendar here: Become a Patreon supporter here for as little as $5/month: Find out more about my coaching here: Other recent podcasts featuring our family’s story: Beth and Joey on Charlyn Spiering’s Adoption Uncovered podcast: Beth and Joey on Lisa Ann’s Wandering Tree podcast: Beth on Speaking of Teens with Ann Coleman: Beth on Mee Ok Icaro’s podcast Live Your True Story: Other Resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Check out our website: Create your own podcast through Libsyn: =============== Please rate (*****) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you! =============== 00:00:00 - Introduction and Book Announcement 00:04:50 - Book Launch Team Invitation 00:05:32 - Resources and Ways to Get Involved 00:07:07 - Collaboration with Podcast Guests 00:08:09 - Patreon Supporter Recognition 00:13:19 - Coaching Services Offered
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Insights from Plant Medicine for the Adoption Constellation with Mee Ok Icaro and Leslie Pate Mackinnon - Ep 152
07/01/2024
Insights from Plant Medicine for the Adoption Constellation with Mee Ok Icaro and Leslie Pate Mackinnon - Ep 152
“Psychedelics can offer a portal to other consciousnesses and open spaces beyond our regular reality.” -- Mee Ok Icaro (adoptee) “Psychedelics can be a powerful tool for deep work and accessing feelings”. - Leslie Pate Mackinnon (birth mom) “Psychedelics can lead to transformative experiences, dividing life into before and after the journey.” -- Beth Syverson (adoptive parent) *********** All adoption constellation members (adoptees, birth/first parents, adoptive parents, and other allies) are invited to a Medicine Circle on July 7, 2024, led by Mee Ok Icaro and hosted by Unraveling Adoption. Register here: *********** Episode Summary: In this episode, we are joined by two previous guests, Leslie Pate Mackinnon and Mee Ok Icaro, to discuss the role of sacred plant medicine in their personal healing journeys and its potential to bring the adoption community together. Leslie, a birth mother, shares her experience of coming out of the adoption fog and how plant medicine has helped her access deep-seated trauma, both psychological and physical. She emphasizes the importance of doing thorough research, having a support system in place, and being open to sharing one's authentic self within the adoption community. Mee Ok, a Korean adoptee, highlights the transformative power of plant medicine in connecting with her ancestry and understanding the interconnectedness of her lineage. She emphasizes the need for adoptees to have a voice in the adoption narrative and the importance of collective healing within the community. Beth, an adoptive mother, shares her journey of exploring plant medicine as a means of healing her own trauma and supporting her son through his struggles. She reflects on the role of adoptive parents in collaborating with adoptees and birth parents to create a more compassionate and understanding adoption community. The conversation delves into the challenges and rewards of integrating plant medicine into the adoption healing process, emphasizing the need for compassion, understanding, and collaboration among all members of the adoption constellation. The guests discuss the importance of personal healing as a foundation for collective healing and the potential for plant medicine to facilitate deeper connections and empathy within the adoption community. As the episode concludes, the guests offer insights and advice for individuals interested in exploring plant medicine within the context of adoption, encouraging a mindful and intentional approach to healing and fostering unity within the adoption community. The episode serves as a reminder of the power of compassion, understanding, and shared experiences in promoting healing and growth within the adoption community. ============== RESOURCES: Mee Ok’s contact information: Connect with Mee Ok through her website: Find out about Mee Ok’s November 2024 ayahuasca retreat at Soltara in Costa Rica: Follow Mee Ok: on Substack: on Facebook: and on Instagram: Leslie’s contact information: Reach Leslie through her website: Follow Leslie on Facebook: Other resources mentioned in this episode: Read Michael Pollan’s book, How to Change Your Mind: What the New Science of Psychedelics Teaches Us About Consciousness, Dying, Addiction, Depression, and Transcendence: Soltara Healing Center (Costa Rica): - use MEEOK at checkout for a $200 discount. Indigenous Medicine Declaration summarized by Mee Ok Icaro: Hear Mee Ok’s previous Unraveling Adoption podcast episode, “Ayahuasca for Transforming Trauma and Pain with Mee Ok Icaro”: Hear Leslie’s previous Unraveling Adoption podcast episode, “A Birth Mother's Perspective with Leslie Pate Mackinnon”: Other Resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: ============== 📆 Community Calendar: ✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Check out our website: Create your own podcast through Libsyn: =============== Please rate (*****) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you! =============== TIME STAMPS Introduction to the Podcast: 00:00:02-00:00:12 Guest Introductions and Topic Introduction: 00:00:12-00:00:55 Personal Experiences with Plant Medicine: 00:00:55-00:01:30 Discussion on Individual Healing with Plant Medicine: 00:01:30-00:02:40 Leslie's Introduction and Adoption Journey: 00:02:40-00:03:54 Beth's Introduction and Adoption Journey: 00:04:00-00:05:40 Mee Ok Icaro's Introduction and Adoption Journey: 00:05:40-00:06:22 Reasons for Pursuing Plant Medicines: 00:06:22-00:08:56 Impact of Plant Medicines on Healing: 00:08:56-00:10:21 Ancestral Healing and Insights: 00:10:21-00:12:20 Healing in Relation to Adoption: 00:12:20-00:14:55 Preparation and Support for Plant Medicine Journeys: 00:15:00-00:27:03 Personal Growth and Community Healing: 00:27:03-00:39:41 Collective Healing and Collaboration: 00:39:47-00:46:33
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Pride and Resilience: A Transgender Adoptee's Path with Sanjay Pulver - Ep 151
06/24/2024
Pride and Resilience: A Transgender Adoptee's Path with Sanjay Pulver - Ep 151
"Being trans was not in my product description, and my 30-day money-back guarantee return policy has long since expired." -- Sanjay Pulver Read the transcript here: Episode Synopsis In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of hosting Sanjay Pulver, a transracial intercountry adoptee from India, who shared his unique journey as a trans man raised by white parents in San Diego, California. Sanjay's story sheds light on the complexities of being an adoptee and navigating the intersections of adoption, gender identity, and cultural heritage. Sanjay shared his origin story, revealing his relinquishment in a small village outside of Hyderabad, India, and his subsequent adoption journey to the United States. He discussed the challenges of not having access to information about his biological family and the cultural barriers in India that hinder reunion efforts for adoptees. The conversation delved into Sanjay's experience of questioning his gender identity from a young age and his journey towards transitioning, both socially and medically. He candidly discussed the complexities of coming out as a lesbian before transitioning and the mixed reactions from his adoptive parents, who initially wanted a daughter from India. As a trans adoptee, Sanjay highlighted the additional layers of identity and the challenges he faces in finding acceptance and understanding within both the adoptee and LGBTQ+ communities. He emphasized the importance of allyship and respect for trans individuals, urging listeners to prioritize using correct pronouns and avoiding invasive questions about surgeries or procedures. The episode also touched on the dangers and legislative challenges faced by trans individuals in the current political climate, emphasizing the need for support and advocacy to ensure the safety and well-being of the trans community. =============== 📆 Community Calendar: ✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: =============== RESOURCES: Sanjay’s information: Find Sanjay on Instagram: Listen to Sanjay’s episode on Haley Radke’s Adoptees On podcast: Other Resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Check out our website: Create your own podcast through Libsyn: =============== 00:05:30 - Adoption Trends from India: Sanjay Pulver discusses the history and trends of intercountry adoption from India. 00:08:03 - Questioning Gender Identity: Sanjay shares about when he started questioning his gender identity. 00:09:35 - Transitioning Process: Sanjay talks about his process of transitioning, both socially and medically. 00:11:07 - Parental Acceptance: Discussion on how Sanjay's adoptive parents reacted to his coming out as gay. 00:12:53 - Fear of Rejection: Sanjay expresses his concerns about potential rejection from his adoptive parents due to his gender identity. 00:14:13 - Reunion Considerations: Sanjay reflects on the complexities of potentially reuniting with his birth family in India. 00:17:43 - Transgender Rights: Sanjay highlights the challenges faced by trans individuals in the current political climate. 00:19:48 - Allyship for Trans People: Sanjay provides insights on how individuals can be better allies to the trans community. 00:22:43 - Respectful Communication: Discussion on the importance of respectful communication and boundaries when interacting with trans individuals. 00:24:03 - Support and Connection: Sanjay shares his contact information and future projects related to adoptees and the LGBTQ+ community. 00:27:00 - Advocacy and Recognition: Sanjay emphasizes the importance of advocacy for marginalized communities and recognition of trans elders.
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A Deep Dive into Adoption History and Motherhood with Rebecca Wellington - Ep 150
06/17/2024
A Deep Dive into Adoption History and Motherhood with Rebecca Wellington - Ep 150
"I think it's really important at this moment for us in our society to understand that we collectively and continuously, in every little micro level ways and macro level ways, differentially value mothers in America, and we are still making decisions that are rooted in really bigoted assumptions, that are rooted in racism." -- Rebecca Wellington Read the transcript: Podcast Episode Synopsis: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, host Beth Syverson welcomes guest Rebecca Wellington, an adoptee, mom, and historian, to discuss the complexities of motherhood in the context of adoption. Rebecca's new book, Who is a Worthy Mother?, serves as a hybrid memoir and adoption history, delving into the societal perceptions of motherhood and adoption in the U.S. Rebecca shares her personal adoption story, highlighting the challenges and complexities she faced growing up as an adoptee. She reflects on her journey of self-discovery and the impact of motherhood on her understanding of adoption trauma. The conversation touches on the historical context of adoption policies, including eugenics and forced sterilizations, shedding light on the systemic injustices faced by marginalized communities. The discussion also explores the recent overturning of Roe v. Wade and its implications on adoption and motherhood. Rebecca emphasizes the need for a deeper understanding of how societal biases and prejudices shape perceptions of motherhood and adoption. The episode concludes with a call to action for listeners to engage with Rebecca's book, share their reviews, and join the conversation on adoption and mothering. The episode serves as a thought-provoking exploration of the intersection of adoption, motherhood, and historical injustices, inviting listeners to reflect on their own beliefs and perceptions surrounding these topics. =============== 📆 Community Calendar: ✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: =============== RESOURCES: Rebecca’s information: Reach out to Rebecca and find all her links at Order Rebecca’s book Who Is a Worthy Mother? here: Other resources mentioned in this episode: Seven Core Issues in Adoption and Permanency by Sharon Kaplan Roszia and Allison Davis Maxon: "You Should Bea Grateful": Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker: https://amzn.to/3KI0iIz Other Resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Check out our website: Create your own podcast through Libsyn: =============== 00:00:00 - Introduction to the Podcast 00:05:30 - Becca's Adoption Story 00:10:00 - Impact of Roe vs. Wade 00:16:00 - History of Eugenics and Forced Sterilizations 00:20:00 - Understanding Motherhood in America 00:22:00 - Book Information and Call for Reviews
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Chasing the Buzz: A Foundling's Quest for Identity with Ryan Anderson - Ep 149
06/10/2024
Chasing the Buzz: A Foundling's Quest for Identity with Ryan Anderson - Ep 149
"I'm just enjoying the journey. What happens when the journey is over? Then what? So I'm just chasing the buzz." - Ryan Anderson Read the transcript; or read along while listening, if you have trouble udnerstanding Ryan's lovely Scottish accent: Podcast Episode Synopsis: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with Ryan Anderson, a foundling and transnational, transracial, and late discovery adoptee. Ryan shared his incredible journey of being found on the streets of Morocco as an infant and later being adopted by an English mother and Moroccan father in Scotland. The revelation of his adoption at the age of 18 sent him on a tumultuous path of self-medication with alcohol and drugs, but he has been sober for 10 months now. Ryan's story is one of resilience and determination as he embarks on a relentless search for his birth family in Morocco. Despite facing challenges such as language barriers and limited resources, Ryan has not given up hope. He has explored various avenues, including DNA testing, visiting hospitals and courts in Morocco, and even appearing on Moroccan TV to share his story. Throughout the episode, Ryan candidly discusses his struggles with mental health, the impact of his adoption on his identity, and the ongoing quest to find his roots. Despite facing negative comments and setbacks, Ryan remains steadfast in his pursuit, driven by a deep yearning to connect with his biological family. As the host, I was struck by Ryan's unwavering determination and vulnerability in sharing his story. His journey serves as a poignant reminder of the complexities of adoption and the profound longing for belonging. Ryan's courage and resilience in the face of adversity are truly inspiring, and his willingness to share his experiences sheds light on the emotional complexities of the adoption journey. =============== 📆 Community Calendar: ✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: =============== RESOURCES: Ryan (Peshy)’s information: Connect with Ryan on Instagram Or find him on Facebook Watch Ryan’s 15-minute YouTube video about his life: Read Ryan’s 37-page story: Other Resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Check out our website: Create your own podcast through Libsyn: If you enjoy our podcast, please RATE and/or REVIEW Unraveling Adoption on Apple or Spotify. It really helps our episodes reach more ears. Thank you! =============== Timestamps: 00:00:02 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption: Beth Syverson introduces the podcast and herself as an adoptive mom. 00:03:10 - Desire to Help Others: Ryan Anderson discusses his burning desire to help others and his people-pleasing tendencies. 00:06:42 - Discovery of Adoption at 18: Ryan shares his experience of finding out about his adoption at the age of 18 and the impact it had on him. 00:10:06 - Coping Mechanisms During COVID: Ryan talks about how COVID-19 impacted his partying habits and led to a period of sobriety. 00:12:25 - Ongoing Search for Birth Family: Ryan discusses his ongoing search for his birth family in Morocco and the challenges he faces. 00:21:14 - Near Kidnapping Experience: Ryan recounts a harrowing experience of almost being kidnapped during a trip to Morocco. 00:24:43 - Balancing Life and Adoption Search: Ryan reflects on the balance between searching for his birth family and living his life to the fullest. 00:30:07 - Journey to Sobriety: Ryan shares his journey to sobriety and the importance of finding balance in his life.
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Behind the Scenes of Because She's Adopted: A Filmmaker's Journey with Kristal Parke - Ep 148
06/03/2024
Behind the Scenes of Because She's Adopted: A Filmmaker's Journey with Kristal Parke - Ep 148
"I truly felt the weight of the world telling the story. I felt like it was a great responsibility, but I had to do it." -- Kristal Parke Read the transcript here: EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of interviewing Kristal Parke, an adoptee and filmmaker behind the acclaimed documentary Because She's Adopted. Kristal shared her journey of self-discovery and identity exploration through the creation of her film, which delves into her childhood, reunion with her birth mother, struggle with addiction, and intentional reconnection with her Indigenous heritage. The film has received critical acclaim and won awards, shedding light on the complexities of adoption. Kristal discussed the impact of her film on her family, crew, and herself, highlighting the vulnerability and growth that came with sharing her story. She emphasized the importance of owning her narrative and the evolution of her understanding of adoption. The podcast episode also touched on the behind-the-scenes process of creating the documentary, including the support of her adoptive family, crew members, and the challenges and joys of filming. Listeners were encouraged to watch the film, which is set to be officially released by fall 2024. Kristal shared details on how to stay connected with updates and screenings. =============== 📆 Community Calendar: ✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: =============== RESOURCES: Kristal’s information: Check our Kristal’s film’s website to keep informed of future events: Follow the film at Facebook: Or on Instagram: Email Kristal at Watch a trailer of the film Because She’s Adopted: Catch the Hiraeth Hope & Healing screening on June 15, 2024: Other Resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Check out our website: Create your own podcast through Libsyn: =============== Please rate (*****) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you! =============== Timestamps: 00:00:02 - Introduction to Kristal Parke: Beth introduces Kristal Parke, a Canadian adoptee and filmmaker, and talks about her acclaimed documentary "Because She's Adopted." 00:05:31 - Unique Adoption Story: Kristal shares the unique story of how she was chosen based on her gender for adoption. 00:10:18 - Residential School Trauma: Kristal discusses the traumatic experiences of Indigenous children in Canadian residential schools. 00:12:26 - Reunion with Birth Mother: Kristal recounts her emotional reunion with her birth mother and meeting her older brother. 00:14:58 - Impact on Family: Kristal reflects on how her family, including her brothers and father, were affected by the documentary. 00:17:43 - Supportive Husband: Kristal talks about the role of her husband in the documentary and the title choice "Because She's Adopted." 00:20:16 - Serene Reflection: Kristal describes a peaceful moment in Manitoba that symbolized her journey of self-discovery during filming. 00:24:27 - Personal Growth: Kristal shares how making the film helped her own her story and continue her journey of self-discovery. 00:26:33 - Film Release Information: Kristal provides details on how to watch the film and stay connected for updates.
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The Impact of Divorce on Adopted Children with Jane Spreckley - Ep 147
05/27/2024
The Impact of Divorce on Adopted Children with Jane Spreckley - Ep 147
“I didn't want to lose them. I loved them both and I thought, it's hard to think about your life separated. I guess now knowing all that I know about being separated from the first person that I was supposed to be with, you know, I just never wanted to be separated from either one of them.” -- Jane Spreckley Episode Summary: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, the host, Beth Syverson, interviews Jane Spreckley, an adoptee whose adoptive parents divorced when she was 14 years old. Jane shares her experience of how the divorce activated her abandonment issues and impacted her relationships. She emphasizes the importance of adoptive parents seeking therapy with adoption-competent therapists for their children during difficult times like divorce. Jane also highlights the significance of open communication and compassion within families going through similar situations. The conversation sheds light on the complexities adoptees face during divorce and the need for understanding and support. =============== 📆 Community Calendar: ✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: =============== RESOURCES: Jane’s information: Find Jane on Facebook at Email Jane at Other Resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Check out our website: Create your own podcast through Libsyn: =============== Timestamps: 00:00:00 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption Podcast 00:05:30 - Jane's Experience with Parents' Divorce 00:10:00 - Realization of Impact from First Abandonment 00:13:30 - Advice for Adoptive Parents Going Through Divorce 00:17:20 - Advice for Adoptees Dealing with Divorcing Parents 00:20:00 - Encouragement for Self-Compassion and Support for Jane 00:21:30 - Gratitude to Patreon Supporters and Call to Share the Episode
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Wrestling with Social Anxiety as an Adoptee with Tammy Murphy - Ep 146
05/20/2024
Wrestling with Social Anxiety as an Adoptee with Tammy Murphy - Ep 146
“I have a hard time believing in love, that love just really exists, that you can love somebody. Then I feel like I have a hard time loving men and stuff, so I wouldn't want them to get hurt if they ever felt like I didn't love them.” - Tammy Murphy Episode Summary: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with Tammy Murphy, a Black, same-race, domestic adoptee living in Indiana. Tammy shared her struggles with social anxiety and dissociation, stemming from her adoption experience. She recounted how her adoptive mother's inconsistent responses to her questions about being adopted led to confusion and a sense of not belonging. Tammy also shared her journey of self-medication with substances like alcohol and marijuana to cope with her feelings of disconnect and identity crisis. Despite facing challenges in forming deep relationships and feeling a sense of authenticity, Tammy has taken steps towards healing. She recently started therapy and has begun journaling to identify triggers and coping mechanisms. Tammy expressed her aspirations to become an adoption therapist and to write a memoir titled Two to Forgive, focusing on forgiveness towards her birth mother and adoptive mother. Throughout the episode, Tammy emphasized the importance of honesty in adoptive families, early communication about adoption, and seeking therapy and self-help resources to navigate the complexities of adoption trauma. =============== 📆 Community Calendar: ✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: =============== RESOURCES: Resource mentioned in this episode: Seven Core Issues in Adoption and Permanency: A Comprehensive Guide to Promoting Understanding and Healing In Adoption, Foster Care, Kinship Families and Third Party Reproduction: Other Resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Check out our website: Create your own podcast through Libsyn: =============== TIME STAMPS: 00:05:30 - Connecting with Others as an Adoptee 00:11:01 - Seeking Therapy and Beginning to Address Adoption Trauma 00:14:06 - Future Goals: Becoming an Adoption Therapist 00:15:50 - Advice for Adoptive Parents: Honesty and Openness 00:16:40 - Impact of Lies and Deception on Adoptees 00:18:16 - Advice for Adoptees: Therapy, Emotional Intelligence, and Coping Strategies
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Nurturing Hope: A Recovery Update with Joey Nakao - Ep 145
05/13/2024
Nurturing Hope: A Recovery Update with Joey Nakao - Ep 145
"I'm in a great place, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally." -- Joey Nakao Podcast Episode Synopsis: In this heartfelt episode of Unraveling Adoption, host Beth Syverson welcomes her son, Joey, back to the podcast after a five-month hiatus. Joey, a courageous 20-year-old in recovery from addiction, shares his journey of sobriety and self-discovery with listeners. The episode delves into Joey's recent experiences at Hazelden Betty Ford in Palm Springs, where he is participating in a PHP (Partial Hospitalization Program). Joey reflects on the challenges he has faced during his recovery, including moments of discomfort and the temptation to leave the program. However, he credits the supportive community at the treatment center for helping him stay grounded and committed to his sobriety. Joey opens up about his transformative experiences with meditation, where he received messages of healing and self-preservation. He also discusses his plans for the future, including moving into an apartment with a friend from rehab and continuing his recovery journey. As the episode unfolds, Beth and Joey discuss their upcoming book, Adoptees and Suicidality, which aims to shed light on the connection between adoption and mental health struggles. Joey expresses his desire to be more involved in the podcast and potentially pursue a career in counseling or recovery support. Throughout the episode, Joey emphasizes the importance of honesty, self-nurturing, and community support in the recovery process. He encourages listeners struggling with addiction to stay hopeful and seek help from those who can hold their truth with compassion. =============== 📆 Community Calendar: ✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: =============== RESOURCES: Hear an earlier episode with Joey and Beth about suicidality: Hazelden Betty Ford Addiction and Mental Health Treatment Services (with services throughout the US): Other Resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Check out our website: Create your own podcast through Libsyn: =============== Timestamps: 00:05:30 - Joey's Recovery Journey: Joey discusses his experience with recovery and the challenges he faced in previous attempts. 00:10:17 - Importance of Community in Recovery: Joey emphasizes the role of community and support in his recovery journey. 00:15:07 - Milestones in Recovery: Joey reflects on his progress in recovery and the importance of taking it day by day. 00:17:14 - Comparison between SMART Recovery and AA: Joey explains the differences between SMART Recovery and Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) in terms of approach and structure. 00:18:28 - Transformative Meditation Experiences: Joey shares his experiences with meditation and the insights he gained during the practice. 00:21:35 - Unraveling Adoption Book Announcement: Beth discusses the upcoming release of the book Adoptees and Suicidality and its significance in raising awareness about suicide. 00:23:20 - Overcoming Stigma in Recovery: Joey encourages understanding and compassion for individuals struggling with addiction, emphasizing the importance of support and empathy. 00:24:17 - Message of Hope for Those Struggling: Joey offers words of encouragement and advice for individuals facing addiction, highlighting the importance of honesty and seeking support.
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Finding Her Beat: Healing and Identity Through Taiko with Jennifer Weir - Ep 144
05/06/2024
Finding Her Beat: Healing and Identity Through Taiko with Jennifer Weir - Ep 144
"Taiko drumming is a wonderful way to release lots of negative energy and have it transformed into positive energy. " -- Jennifer Weir Podcast Episode Synopsis: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, host Beth Syverson welcomes guest Jennifer Weir, a Korean adoptee who connected with her Asian identity through Taiko drumming. Jennifer shares her journey of being adopted from South Korea at a young age and growing up in North Dakota with very little Asian representation. Despite facing bullying and struggles with identity, Jennifer found solace in Taiko drumming, eventually becoming the executive director of Taiko Arts Midwest. The episode delves into Jennifer's experience organizing a groundbreaking concert featuring elite women Taiko drummers from Japan, the US, and Canada. The concert, captured in the award-winning documentary Finding Her Beat, highlighted the challenges faced by women in the male-dominated Taiko industry. The film showcases the power of Taiko drumming as a form of expression and healing, resonating with audiences worldwide. Beth and Jennifer discuss the complexities of Asian identity, the importance of processing grief, and the transformative power of Taiko drumming in navigating personal struggles. Jennifer's journey from a Korean adoptee to a Taiko drumming powerhouse serves as an inspiration to adoptees and individuals exploring their cultural heritage. =============== 📆 Community Calendar: ✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: =============== Resources mentioned in this episode: Finding Her Beat documentary: HERbeat: Taiko Women All-Stars (Full Concert Video): TaikoArts Midwest: Other Resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Check out our website: Create your own podcast through Libsyn: =============== Timestamps: 00:01:05 - Guest Introduction: Jennifer Weir, Korean Adoptee 00:02:20 - Jennifer's Adoption Story: Arrival in the U.S. 00:03:31 - Growing Up in North Dakota as an Asian Adoptee 00:06:00 - Lack of Asian Cultural Connection in Childhood 00:08:00 - Experience of Bullying and Microaggressions in School 00:09:37 - Jennifer's Response to Bullying and Racism 00:11:59 - Vulnerable Story of Dealing with Bullying 00:13:32 - Coping with Rage 00:15:11 - Taiko Drumming is Cathartic and Therapeutic 00:16:08 - Women in Taiko Drumming: Gender Dynamics 00:17:13 - Empowering Women in Taiko Drumming 00:19:53 - Production of "Finding Her Beat" Documentary 00:21:38 - Jennifer's Family Involvement in Taiko Drumming 00:22:05 - Choosing Japanese Taiko Drumming over Korean Drumming 00:25:20 - Impact of Finding Her Beat on the Adoptee Community 00:27:02 - Information on Finding Her Beat film and TaikoArts Midwest 00:28:02 - Support Unraveling Adoption Podcast and Patreon Membership
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Codependency in the Adoption Constellation with Jonathan Newbern - Ep 143
04/29/2024
Codependency in the Adoption Constellation with Jonathan Newbern - Ep 143
"...when you're walking around with a sense of loss, or you feel like your first mother or first family don't want you, there's two ways you go about this. Either A, you're going to get really enmeshed and get real clingy because you don't want to lose. Or B, you get this detachment, and as adoptees and groups sometimes say, ‘I'm going to leave you before you leave me.’" -- Jonathan Newbern Podcast Episode Synopsis: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of hosting Jonathan Newbern, a same-race domestic adoptee deeply involved with Codependents Anonymous (CODA). Jonathan shared his poignant adoption journey, marked by a late discovery of his adoption status and a tumultuous childhood. He bravely delved into the connection between relinquishment trauma, adoption trauma, reunion trauma, and codependency, shedding light on the complexities adoptees often face. Jonathan's personal experiences and insights into codependency from an adoptee's perspective provided valuable tools and practical advice for those struggling with similar issues. He emphasized the importance of seeking help, setting boundaries, and engaging in self-care practices to navigate the challenges of codependency. Throughout the episode, Jonathan's vulnerability and resilience shone through as he shared his journey of healing and growth. His message of empowerment and self-worth resonated deeply, reminding listeners that they are not alone in their struggles. =============== 📆 Community Calendar: ✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: =============== RESOURCES: Jonathan’s information: Jonathan on Instragram: Jonathan on Facebook: Email Jonathan: Resources mentioned in this episode: Codependents Anonymous (CODA): Adoption Mosaic: Other Resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Check out our website: Create your own podcast through Libsyn: Timestamps 00:00:00 - Introduction to Adoption and Codependency 00:05:30 - Jonathan's Adoption Story Unveiled 00:10:45 - Codependency and Attachment Styles 00:17:05 - Jonathan's Journey to Codependents Anonymous 00:20:39 - Recovery Tools and Self-Care Practices 00:22:06 - Embracing the Adoption Constellation 00:26:20 - Contact Information for Jonathan
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Sexuality in Adoption: Insights from a Transracial Adoptee and Sex Therapist with Anna Linde - Ep 142
04/22/2024
Sexuality in Adoption: Insights from a Transracial Adoptee and Sex Therapist with Anna Linde - Ep 142
Sexuality and Adoption: Insights from a Transracial Adoptee and Sex Therapist "For me, sexual and reproductive health or our sexuality is so connected with attraction, with attachment style, with self-esteem, with the wish for connecting and creating long-term bonds." -- Anna Linde Read the transcript: Podcast Episode Synopsis: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Anna Linde, a transracial adoptee and a sex therapist. Anna shared her unique perspective on the intersection of adoption and sexuality, shedding light on the complexities and challenges adoptees face in this area. Anna, who was adopted from Brazil to Sweden at just six weeks old, grew up as one of the few Black children in her community. She discussed the impact of the "white gaze" on her self-perception and how it influenced her views on intimacy and relationships. Throughout the conversation, Anna highlighted the importance of addressing shame, anxiety, and boundaries in adoptees' sexual identities. She emphasized the need for adoptive parents to create a safe space for their children to explore healthy boundaries and navigate their sexuality with confidence. The discussion delved into the role of cultural stereotypes in shaping adoptees' sexual experiences and the challenges of navigating relationships in a society that often perpetuates harmful norms. Anna shared personal anecdotes and insights from her work as a sex therapist, offering valuable perspectives on how adoptees can cultivate a positive relationship with their bodies and sexuality. Towards the end of the episode, we announced an upcoming webinar on June 5 which will be led by Anna, focusing on sexual and reproductive health for adoptees. The webinar aims to provide adoptive parents and caretakers with valuable insights and tools to support their children in developing healthy attitudes towards sexuality. Overall, this episode provided a thought-provoking exploration of the complex dynamics at the intersection of adoption and sexuality, offering valuable guidance and insights for adoptees and adoptive parents alike. Anna's expertise and personal experiences added depth and nuance to the conversation, highlighting the importance of addressing these issues within the adoption community. =============== 📆 Community Calendar: ✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: =============== RESOURCES: Anna’s information: Find Anna on Linked In: Find Anna on Instagram at Here’s Anna’s Linktree with more resources: Other Resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Check out our website: Create your own podcast through Libsyn: =============== Timestamps: 00:00:02 - Introduction to the podcast and guest, Anna Linde 00:05:39 - Discussion on the white gaze and self-identity 00:07:49 - Impact of body image on sexuality 00:10:17 - Common sexual problems among adoptees 00:14:18 - Stereotypical sexual ideas related to race 00:18:47 - Importance of conscious work in dissecting adoption issues 00:21:34 - Advice for adoptive parents on building healthier sexual identities for children 00:25:49 - Availability of the guest, Anna Linde, for online coaching 00:27:28 - Announcement of upcoming webinar on sexual and reproductive health for adoptees on June 5, 2024
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Solving the Genetic Puzzle of Health Issues in Adoptees with Jeremy - Ep 141
04/15/2024
Solving the Genetic Puzzle of Health Issues in Adoptees with Jeremy - Ep 141
"I hate when people say that my life should be a movie. Can we just ban that phrase?" - Jeremy Read the transcript here: Episode Summary: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, host Beth Syverson delves into the complexities of adoption alongside her guest, Jeremy, a 24-year-old adopted person from Texas. Jeremy shares his journey of struggling with various health issues and neurodivergence, only to discover the genetic roots of his challenges after reuniting with his birth family in 2022. Jeremy's adoption story unfolds as he recounts being adopted in Albuquerque, New Mexico, from a birth family in Denver. Raised in Texas by adoptive parents who were open about his adoption but painted a negative picture of his birth mother, Jeremy grew up questioning his identity and health issues without a clear genetic history. As Jeremy navigates his health challenges, including asthma, joint pain, and dysautonomia, he sheds light on the importance of knowing one's genetic background for proper diagnosis and treatment. With a recent diagnosis of hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS), Jeremy emphasizes the need for healthcare professionals to recognize and address invisible disabilities like EDS. Through his journey of self-discovery and reunion with his birth family, Jeremy finds validation and understanding in shared experiences with relatives who also have EDS. He highlights the significance of acceptance and support from adoptive families, healthcare providers, and the community in addressing the unique needs of adoptees with complex medical histories. Listeners are encouraged to reflect on the impact of closed adoptions, ableism, and stigma surrounding birth parents, as Beth and Jeremy advocate for a more inclusive and informed approach to adoption and healthcare. The episode concludes with a call to action for spreading awareness and support for adoptees facing health challenges and seeking reunion. To connect with Jeremy and explore more adoption-related content, visit his Instagram account, Borderline Adoptee. Additionally, listeners are invited to engage with Unraveling Adoption through their website and Patreon community to support ongoing discussions and resources for adoptive families and individuals impacted by adoption. Stay tuned for more insightful conversations and stories on Unraveling Adoption. =============== 📆 Community Calendar: ✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: =============== RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE: Find Jeremy at BorderlineAdoptee on Instagram: Find out more about Ehler’s Danlos Syndrome (EDS) here: Other Resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Check out our website: Create your own podcast through Libsyn: =============== TIMESTAMPS 00:00:02 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption: Beth Syverson introduces the podcast and shares her personal connection to adoption. 00:01:05 - Jeremy's Adoption Story: Jeremy shares his adoption story, including details about his birth family and upbringing. 00:03:01 - Searching for Birth Mother: Jeremy talks about his search for his birth mother and the impact of not knowing his genetic history. 00:05:30 - Discovering Neurodivergence: Jeremy discusses his diagnosis of neurodivergence and the challenges he faced growing up. 00:06:28 - Diagnosis of Asperger's: Jeremy shares his diagnosis of Asperger's and the challenges he faced due to misconceptions about his condition. 00:08:09 - Uncovering Health Conditions: Jeremy talks about the health issues he faced as a child and the discovery of his genetic conditions later in life. 00:10:49 - Reunion with Birth Father: Jeremy discusses meeting his birth father and the lack of medical information provided by him. 00:13:41 - Understanding Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome: Jeremy explains Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, a genetic connective tissue disorder, and his journey to diagnosis. 00:18:46 - Impact of Genetic Knowledge: Jeremy reflects on how knowing his genetic history from the beginning could have positively impacted his self-identity and health management. 00:21:44 - Advocating for Adoptees' Health: Jeremy discusses the importance of healthcare professionals and adoptive families supporting adoptees in managing their medical diagnoses. 00:23:35 - Addressing Ableism and Misconceptions: Jeremy highlights the need to combat ableism and misconceptions surrounding invisible disabilities like EDS. 00:27:00 - Connecting with Jeremy: Jeremy shares his Instagram handle for further engagement and invites others in the adoption community to reach out.
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Connecting with Ancestors for Healing with Helena Soholm, PhD - Ep 140
04/08/2024
Connecting with Ancestors for Healing with Helena Soholm, PhD - Ep 140
"I want to normalize the practice of spirituality and ancestral rituals. They're a normal part of our lives." Helena Soholm, PhD Read the Transcript here: Episode Summary Beth Syverson, the host of the podcast Unraveling Adoption, welcomes Dr. Helena Soholm as a guest on the show. Dr. Soholm, a Korean mudang or shaman, shares her unique journey of combining contemporary forms of shamanism and psychology to help adoptees connect with their ancestors. Despite not being an adoptee herself, Helena has been instrumental in assisting Korean adoptees in their healing process through communication with their ancestors. Helena's childhood experiences in Korea, surrounded by intuitive women and spiritual gifts, laid the foundation for her eventual path as a shaman. Her awakening to the power of ancestors led her to integrate psychology and shamanism in a profound way. Through her work, she has helped adoptees navigate their complex emotions and traumas by facilitating connections with their ancestral lineage. The podcast delves into Helena's personal journey, including her initiation as a mudang in 2018 and her experiences working with adoptees in both Korea and Denmark. She emphasizes the importance of developing one's spiritual authority and trusting oneself for healing. Dr. Soholm's approach focuses on empowering individuals to connect with their ancestors and find peace within themselves. =============== 📆 Community Calendar: ✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: =============== Dr. Helena Soholm’s information: Helena’s website has much more information about her practice and upcoming events: Article about her Shamanic initiation: Dr. Soholm’s Lecture and Korean Shamanic Ritual at Yale: Find Helena on Instagram: and on Facebook: Other Resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Check out our website: Create your own podcast through Libsyn: Timestamps 00:00:02 - Introduction to Helena Soholm: Beth introduces Helena Soholm, a Korean mudang or shaman, and discusses her unique background and qualifications. 00:08:16 - Helena's Journey to Becoming a Shaman: Helena shares her personal journey and struggles with embracing her calling to become a mudang. 00:15:50 - Helena's Connection with Adoptees: Helena discusses her awakening to the ancestors and how she helps adoptees connect with their lineage. 00:26:28 - Healing and Connection for Adoptees: Helena explains the outcomes and benefits adoptees experience through her ceremonies and ancestral connections. 00:34:51 - Seeking Reputable Ancestral Work: Helena provides guidance on finding reputable practitioners for ancestral work and emphasizes the importance of trusting one's intuition. 00:36:45 - Empowering Self-Healing: Helena emphasizes the importance of empowering individuals to heal themselves and build their spiritual authority.
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Embracing Complex Identity: Insights from a Non-Binary Adoptee of Color with Anthony Lynch - Ep 139
04/01/2024
Embracing Complex Identity: Insights from a Non-Binary Adoptee of Color with Anthony Lynch - Ep 139
"I think everyone has had this experience of feeling like they're in two places or even more than that, but not quite enough of any." -- Anthony Lynch Read the Transcript: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01HSYYTTTDQ2QVDVHZ079SXA3E Episode Summary: Beth Syverson, the host of the podcast "Unraveling Adoption," welcomes Anthony Lynch, a 24-year-old non-binary transracial adoptee living in London, as a guest on the show. Anthony is the co-founder of In Between Lines, an organization that empowers individuals with complex identities. Throughout the episode, Anthony shares insights into their personal journey as a transracial adoptee with Jamaican and white heritage, growing up in a multicultural family in London. Anthony discusses the challenges of navigating multiple identities, including being adopted, non-binary, and mixed race. They highlight the importance of embracing one's full identity and the complexities that come with straddling different cultural backgrounds. Anthony also sheds light on the concept of intersectionality and how it influences individual experiences and societal perceptions. The conversation delves into the significance of creating spaces for individuals with complex identities to share their stories and connect with others. Anthony shares about the work of In Between Lines, including an upcoming exhibition featuring individuals with diverse backgrounds and identities. They emphasize the need for a more nuanced understanding of identity and the importance of fostering inclusivity and acceptance. Beth and Anthony also discuss the upcoming parliamentary inquiry on adoptee voices in the UK, where Anthony is a steering group member. They touch on the mental health implications of complex identities and the role of policymakers in supporting individuals with diverse backgrounds. Throughout the episode, Beth and Anthony explore the power of authenticity, community, and understanding in embracing complex identities. They encourage listeners to reflect on their own identities and challenge societal norms that limit individuals to singular labels. The episode concludes with a call to share the conversation with others and continue the dialogue on identity and acceptance. =============== 📆 Community Calendar: ✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: =============== Anthony’s Contact Information: Find Anthony on Linked In: In-Between Lines on Instagram: In-Between Lines website: Anthony Lynch is a researcher working in the intersection between Lived Experience and Policy. Their work with Complex Identities began when they co-founded In-Between Lines, an award-winning creative community for individuals belonging to multiple ethnicities, cultures, and families. As a research assistant at Coram, the UK's oldest Children's charity, they use their lived experience as a mixed non-binary adoptee to inform policy. They are also a steering group member for an upcoming parliamentary inquiry into adoptee voices, organized by the All Party Parliamentary Group on Adoption and Permanence. =============== Other Resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Check out our website: Create your own podcast through Libsyn: =============== Timestamps: 00:00:02 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption Podcast: Beth Syverson introduces the podcast and herself as an adoptive mom. 00:01:06 - Guest Introduction: Anthony Lynch: Anthony Lynch is introduced as a non-binary transracial adoptee and co-founder of In Between Lines. 00:02:12 - Anthony's Origin Story: Anthony shares their background as a fostered and adopted individual with a complex mix of ethnicities. 00:03:29 - Blending In with Siblings: Anthony discusses how they were able to blend in with their biracial siblings and hide their adoptive identity. 00:04:29 - Coming Out as Non-Binary: Anthony talks about their recent realization and acceptance of being non-binary. 00:05:27 - Embracing Complex Identities: Anthony emphasizes the importance of embracing all aspects of their complex identity. 00:06:49 - Intersectionality and Multiple Identities: Anthony delves into the concept of intersectionality and the challenges of navigating multiple identities. 00:08:49 - Authenticity and Self-Expression: Anthony discusses the importance of being authentic and not compromising their identity for others. 00:09:22 - Understanding Intersectionality: Anthony explains the concept of intersectionality and its impact on individuals with complex identities. 00:12:46 - Daily Impact of Multiple Identities: Anthony shares how their multiple identities affect their daily life and interactions with others. 00:14:17 - In Between Lines Organization: Anthony talks about the In Between Lines organization and its mission to empower individuals with complex identities. 00:15:45 - Supporting In Between Lines: Anthony discusses ways to support the organization and participate in their upcoming projects. 00:20:44 - Parliamentary Inquiry on Adoptee Voices: Anthony shares their involvement in a parliamentary inquiry on adoptee voices and complex identities. 00:22:07 - Supporting In Between Lines: Anthony invites listeners to connect with In Between Lines on social media and support their upcoming exhibition. 00:25:19 - Appreciation for Unraveling Adoption Podcast: Anthony expresses gratitude for being a guest on the podcast and highlights the importance of in-depth conversations.
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Self-Realization through Memoir Writing with Monica Hall - Ep 138
03/25/2024
Self-Realization through Memoir Writing with Monica Hall - Ep 138
"I think that being an adoptee groomed me to relinquish my own child." -- Monica Hall Transcript of this episode: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01HSM5N1067HY39ZRSGK11MB5T Podcast Episode Synopsis: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, host Beth Syverson welcomes guest Monica Hall, an adoptee and birth mother who has recently published her memoir titled Practically Still a Virgin: an Adoption Memoir. Monica shares her journey of healing and self-discovery through writing her memoir, which delves into the complexities of adoption, trauma, and family relationships. Monica opens up about her challenging childhood in Alaska, where she faced abuse and trauma within her adoptive family. She candidly discusses her experiences of relinquishing her daughter for adoption and the guilt and complexities that came with it. Through writing her memoir, Monica unravels layers of repressed memories and emotions, ultimately finding healing and clarity. The podcast episode highlights Monica's writing process, where she initially struggled with self-doubt and perfectionism but found guidance and support from a dedicated editor. Monica emphasizes the importance of allowing oneself to start writing without judgment and to embrace the process of uncovering deep-seated emotions and experiences. As Monica shares her personal journey of healing and self-discovery through writing, she encourages other adoptees and birth mothers to embark on their own memoir-writing journey. The episode concludes with a special giveaway of Monica's memoir, inviting listeners to participate by writing a review of the podcast or becoming a Patreon member. Listeners are encouraged to explore Monica's powerful memoir, Practically Still a Virgin, and to support her in sharing her story of resilience and growth. The episode serves as a poignant reminder of the transformative power of storytelling and the importance of finding healing through self-expression and reflection. =============== 📆 Community Calendar: ✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: =============== RESOURCES: Monica's Website: Other Resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Check out our website: Create your own podcast through Libsyn: Timestamps: 00:00:00 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption Podcast 00:05:30 - Overcoming Childhood Trauma and Identity Issues 00:09:25 - Starting the Memoir Writing Journey 00:16:08 - Writing Process and Reflections 00:20:46 - Uncovering Layers of Trauma and Family Relationships 00:24:18 - Recovery and Healing Journey 00:26:23 - Advice for Aspiring Memoir Writers 00:27:41 - Book Giveaway Announcement and Support for Unraveling Adoption Podcast
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Finding Family: "The Keepers and The Throwaways" with David R. Ford and Tibby Ford - Ep 137
03/18/2024
Finding Family: "The Keepers and The Throwaways" with David R. Ford and Tibby Ford - Ep 137
"I think adoptees who are going to go try to find their family have to recognize that... once you get into the process, you just have to roll with it, right? You have to be optimistic and hopeful and just play it out." -- David R. Ford Episode Synopsis In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, host Beth Syverson delves into the complexities of adoption alongside her guest, David R. Ford, an adoptee who reunited with his birth family 20 years ago. The episode explores the theme of family relationships, especially in the context of reunion with birth families. Beth introduces David as an adoptee who was adopted at birth through a private adoption handled by a lawyer. David shares his early childhood experiences and the limited information he had about his birth parents, including the revelation that he had a seven-year older brother. Despite not initially feeling the need to find his birth parents, David's journey to reconnect with his birth family began in his late 30s. Through a series of events, David eventually reunites with his birth mother and discovers he is one of seven children, four of whom were given up for adoption. The podcast delves into the complexities of navigating newfound relationships with siblings and birth family members, highlighting the challenges and joys that come with such reunions. Beth also brings on Tibby, David's wife, to provide insights into the experience of being a spouse navigating the complexities of adoption reunion. Tibby shares her perspective on the intense emotions and dynamics that come with welcoming new family members into their lives. The episode touches on the importance of supportive adoptive parents, the emotional toll of navigating difficult family dynamics, and the significance of maintaining core values and boundaries throughout the reunion process. David reflects on the metaphorical significance of the title of his memoir, "Blind in One Eye," and the journey of self-discovery and acceptance that comes with reuniting with one's birth family. As the episode wraps up, Beth encourages listeners to explore the resources and support available on the Unraveling Adoption website, emphasizing the importance of seeking guidance and validation in the adoption journey. The episode concludes with a message of staying safe and embracing authenticity in navigating the complexities of adoption and family relationships. =============== 📆 Community Calendar: ✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: =============== Resource Mentioned in this Episode: Contact David and find out more about his memoir Blind In One Eye at: Other Resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Check out our website: Create your own podcast through Libsyn: Timestamps Introduction to Unraveling Adoption: 00:00:02-00:00:13 David's Adoption Story: 00:01:23-00:02:57 David's Search for Birth Family: 00:03:29-00:06:41 Reunion with Birth Mother: 00:07:15-00:09:33 Relationship with Siblings: 00:10:04-00:12:40 Tibby's Perspective on Family Reunion: 00:15:18-00:17:02 Navigating Family Dynamics: 00:17:28-00:21:39 Book Title Explanation: 00:25:26-00:26:29 Closing Remarks and Resources: 00:27:19-00:28:46
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Unveiling Biracial Identity with Bethany Fraser - Ep 136
03/11/2024
Unveiling Biracial Identity with Bethany Fraser - Ep 136
"I was always trying to fit in and chameleon wherever I was." -- Bethany Fraser Transcript Read this episode's transcript: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, host Beth Syverson welcomes guest Bethany Fraser, an adoptee and host of The Adoptee Diaries podcast. The conversation delves into the complexities of adoption, focusing on the impact of secrets and identity issues within the adoption experience. Bethany shares her personal journey of discovering her biracial identity in her 40s, after a secret about her ethnicity was kept from her by her adoptive parents. The discussion explores the emotional and psychological effects of this deception on Bethany's identity, psyche, and relationships. Throughout the episode, Bethany reflects on her experience as an adoptee, highlighting the importance of truth, trust, and transparency in adoption. She emphasizes the need for adoptive parents to be open and honest with their children about their origins and ethnicity, to foster a sense of belonging and self-awareness. The conversation is candid and heartfelt, with both hosts sharing their vulnerabilities and insights into the complexities of adoption. Beth and Bethany aim to create a space for adoptees to share their stories and find support within the adoption community. =============== 📆 Community Calendar: ✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: =============== Resources mentioned in this episode: Find Bethany's podcast The Adoptee Diaries on your favorite podcast app or through this link: Find Bethany on Instagram here: Read an essay Bethany wrote for Barker Adoption Foundation: Other Resources APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Check out our website: Create your own podcast through Libsyn: TIME STAMPS: 00:00:02 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption 00:01:33 - Early Awareness of Adoption and Ethnicity 00:03:33 - Early Interactions with Other Adoptees 00:05:12 - Questioning Ethnic Identity 00:07:05 - Reflecting on Parents' Motivations 00:09:47 - Prompt to Discover Ethnicity 00:11:22 - Ancestry DNA Results Revealed 00:12:44 - Unpacking Cultural Layers 00:14:07 - Curiosity and Self-Identity 00:15:03 - Impact Before Discovering Truth 00:16:08 - Masking True Self 00:17:44 - Feeling Displaced 00:18:27 - Seeking Community and Support 00:20:30 - Advice for Adoptive Parents 00:22:37 - Discovery of Parents' Knowledge 00:24:04 - Emotional Impact of Revelation 00:25:37 - Launch of The Adoptee Diaries 00:27:31 - Encouragement for Adoptive Parents 00:29:08 - Call to Share and Support Unraveling Adoption
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Coming Out: LGBTQ+ Challenges in Adoption with Joe Toolan - Ep 135
03/04/2024
Coming Out: LGBTQ+ Challenges in Adoption with Joe Toolan - Ep 135
"I had to be OK with the fact that they might not accept me for who I am." - Joe Toolan Transcript Read this episode's transcript: Episode Summary In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, host Beth Syverson delves into the complexities of adoption through the lens of LGBTQ+ adoptees. Joined by guest Joe Toolan, a transracial, queer adoptee from Guatemala, the episode explores the unique challenges faced by LGBTQ+ individuals in the adoption process. Joe shares his personal journey of growing up in a conservative white family in Maryland, navigating his identity as a queer, Latine, indigenous, transracial adoptee. He reflects on the struggles of coming out to his adoptive family and the impact it had on their relationship. The episode highlights the importance of support and acceptance for LGBTQ+ adoptees, emphasizing the need for adoptive parents to create a safe and affirming environment for their children. Resources such as PFLAG, the Trevor Project, and GLSEN are recommended for allies and family members seeking to educate themselves and support LGBTQ+ individuals. As Joe recounts his reunion with his birth family in Guatemala, the episode showcases the power of authenticity and self-acceptance in building meaningful connections. Despite initial concerns about acceptance, Joe's birth mother's unconditional love and support demonstrate the transformative impact of embracing one's true identity. Listeners are encouraged to engage with the LGBTQ+ adoptee community, seek support from advocacy organizations, and participate in upcoming events like the town hall meeting addressing the safety and well-being of adopted children. Through heartfelt storytelling and insightful conversations, Unraveling Adoption provides a compassionate and informative platform for exploring the intersection of adoption and LGBTQ+ identities, fostering understanding and empathy for all individuals touched by adoption. Resources mentioned in this episode Contact Joe through Instagram at Find help for LGBTQ+ people and their allies here: PFLAG: The Trevor Project: GLSEN: Guatemalan adoptees can find support through the organization Joe works with, Adoptees of Guatemalan Roots: Attend the Town Hall meeting on Sunday, March 10, 2024, to discuss adoptee murders and what we can do to keep our community's adopted children safe. Other Resources APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Check out our website: Create your own podcast through Libsyn: =============== 📆 Community Calendar: ✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: =============== Timestamps: 00:00:02 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption 00:01:15 - Embracing LGBTQ+ Voices 00:01:37 - Early Childhood and Adoption Story 00:02:14 - Growing Up in a Conservative Community 00:03:35 - Coming Out as LGBTQ+ 00:04:39 - Navigating Relationships After Coming Out 00:05:03 - Challenges of Coming Out Again in Reunion 00:05:42 - Support Systems and Role Models 00:06:57 - Finding Community in College 00:07:53 - Coming Out to Friends 00:08:14 - Struggles with Family Acceptance 00:09:00 - Navigating Authenticity and Acceptance 00:10:10 - Parental Acceptance and Support 00:11:18 - Curiosity About Birth Family 00:12:29 - Beginning the Search for Biological Family 00:13:55 - Receiving Information from Adoptee Groups 00:14:58 - Reunion Process Initiation 00:15:48 - Emotional Response to Reunion News 00:16:00 - Initial Contact with Birth Family 00:17:00 - Concerns About Reunion and Acceptance 00:18:27 - Authenticity in Reunion Process 00:19:00 - Emotional Reunion Moment 00:20:36 - Acceptance and Unconditional Love 00:21:23 - Connecting with LGBTQ+ Adoptee Communities 00:22:18 - Resources for LGBTQ+ Support 00:23:05 - Advice for Adoptive Parents 00:24:46 - Connecting with the Guest 00:25:26 - Invitation to Town Hall Meeting
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Food Behaviors and Adoption Trauma with Rebecca Berg - Ep 134
02/26/2024
Food Behaviors and Adoption Trauma with Rebecca Berg - Ep 134
"The root of the work, I would say, is really slowing down and learning how to sit with the discomfort of different sensations in the body." -- Rebecca Berg Transcript Read this episode's transcript: Synopsis In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Rebecca Berg, a registered dietitian and adoptee who specializes in the intersection of adoption and food behaviors. Rebecca shared her personal journey of overcoming orthorexia and how early childhood trauma can manifest in issues around food. We delved into the complexities of adoption trauma and its impact on food relationships, highlighting the importance of understanding the connection between food and emotional well-being. Rebecca emphasized the need for adoptees to feel connected to their bodies and prioritize self-care, especially when dealing with stress and anxiety. She discussed the concept of "safe foods" for children with trauma histories and the importance of creating a structured and consistent meal environment to promote a sense of safety and security. As an adoptive parent, Rebecca provided valuable insights on supporting adopted children with food issues, emphasizing the significance of co-regulation and offering familiar, comforting foods to build trust and stability. She also introduced the concept of "body doubling" as a supportive technique for individuals struggling with nutrition and mental health challenges. Throughout the episode, Rebecca highlighted the importance of seeking professional help from registered dietitians with expertise in mental health and eating disorders. She shared practical advice for adoptive parents and individuals struggling with food-related issues, emphasizing the need for patience, self-compassion, and a willingness to explore and experiment with different approaches to nutrition and well-being. The episode concluded with a reminder to join the upcoming town hall meeting on March 10th to address the serious issue of murders of adopted children by adoptive parents and brainstorm ways to create safer environments for adopted children in our communities. Overall, the episode provides valuable insights into the complex relationship between adoption, trauma, and food behaviors, offering practical strategies for individuals and families navigating these challenges. Timestamps Introduction to Unraveling Adoption: 00:00:02-00:00:13 Exploring the Intersection of Adoption and Food Behaviors: 00:00:46-00:00:56 Personal Journey of an Adoptee and Registered Dietitian: 00:04:12-00:05:57 Understanding Orthorexia and Recovery: 00:05:05-00:06:07 Impact of Anxiety and Trauma on Eating Behaviors: 00:08:17-00:09:48 Becoming a Registered Dietitian: 00:10:06-00:11:29 Challenges and Nuances of Food Issues: 00:12:27-00:13:22 Strategies for Grounding and Regulation: 00:14:40-00:15:56 Body Doubling and Supportive Techniques: 00:15:56-00:16:44 Advice for Adoptive Parents on Food Issues: 00:17:02-00:19:00 Importance of Safe Foods and Feeding Practices: 00:19:10-00:20:17 Seeking Help and Professional Support: 00:20:38-00:22:51 Upcoming Event and Call to Action: 00:23:01-00:24:07 Resources mentioned in this episode Contact Rebecca at . Find Rebecca on Instagram at Follow Rebecca on Facebook @No Strings Nutrition: Attend the Town Hall meeting on Sunday, March 10, 2024, to discuss adoptee murders and what we can do to keep our community's adopted children safe. Other Resources APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Check out our website: Create your own podcast through Libsyn:
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A Disappeared Adoptee Reunites with Revolutionary Roots - with Nelson de Witt - Ep 133
02/19/2024
A Disappeared Adoptee Reunites with Revolutionary Roots - with Nelson de Witt - Ep 133
My adoptive father talked about it as my birthright to go back to Central America. I really like that framing. So I think that was part of the reason why they let me go on so many trips and that was such a wonderful experience. - Nelson de Witt Discover the shocking truth about Nelson de Witt's journey to uncover his past after being adopted from Central America. His story is a heart-wrenching tale of forced disappearances, political strife, and the courage to face the truth. Nelson's experiences will leave you in awe and disbelief as he navigates the complexities of adoption and the impact of historical and cultural tragedies. Stay tuned to learn more about Nelson's daring quest for truth and how it continues to shape his life today. In this episode, you will be able to: Understand the impact of forced disappearances on families in Central and South America. Explore the complexities of political conflicts in Central America and how it impacted him as an adopted person. Dive into the importance of understanding historical and cultural contexts of adoptees' early lives. =============== 📆 Community Calendar: ✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: =============== My special guest is Nelson de Witt Nelson de Witt, also known as Nelson/Roberto, is an advocate and survivor of El Salvador's civil war. He experienced a forced disappearance as a one-year-old and was reunited with his birth family at the age of 16. Nelson's personal story sheds light on the impact of forced disappearances on families. Through his experiences, he brings a unique perspective that helps to unravel the complexities of adoption and the historical and cultural context of the forced disappearances in Central and South America. His insights and advocacy work contribute to a greater understanding of the profound effects of such events on those involved - adopted or not. The resources mentioned in this episode are: Visit Nelson/Roberto's website at to learn more about his documentary film Identifying Nelson/Buscando Roberto and his book Waking from Innocent Dreams. Check out the book Missing Mila, Finding Family written by Nelson's adoptive mother, which provides her perspective on the adoption story: Keep an eye out for Nelson's upcoming story workshops for adoptees, which he may be launching publicly later in the year. Follow Nelson on Instagram at Impact of Forced Disappearances Influenced by social, political, and personal factors, forced disappearances have far-reaching impacts on families and societies. The individuals left behind wrestle with prolonged uncertainty, emotional distress, and other psychological ramifications. Being aware of the deep emotional trauma fostered by forced disappearances aids us in comprehending the resilience shown by survivors and provides better support and understanding to those affected. Political Conflicts in Central America Historical instances of political unrest in Central America have resulted in numerous human rights violations, including forced disappearances. These conflicts are multifaceted, characterized by fluid alliances, entrenched inequality, and differing ideological perspectives. By understanding these complexities, we gain a deeper insight into the atmosphere that gives rise to phenomena such as forced disappearances and how these events impact individuals and communities. =============== Other Resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Check out our website: Create your own podcast through Libsyn: =============== Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:00:00 - Introduction and Background Beth introduces the podcast and herself as an adoptive mom, along with her guest Nelson de Witt. Nelson shares his experience of being separated from his birth family during El Salvador's civil war and being reunited with them at the age of 16. 00:01:09 - Growing Up and Discovery Nelson talks about growing up in his adoptive family, being told he was adopted, and the mystery surrounding his adoption. He shares the shocking news of being reunited with his biological family and the intense emotions and overwhelming experience of meeting them for the first time. 00:04:18 - Adoption and Reunion Nelson's adoptive parents share the harrowing discovery of Nelson's origins, including his parents being revolutionaries in the civil war, the kidnapping of a businessman, and the tragic events that led to Nelson being put up for adoption in the United States. 00:10:30 - Complexities of Central American History Nelson delves into the complex history of conflict in Central America, highlighting the repressive government, violent suppression of activists, and the desperate measures people took to fight back, including taking up arms as a last resort. 00:13:26 - The Disappeared and Forced Disappearances Nelson explains the term "disappeared" and its origin, detailing how individuals were forcibly abducted by the state as a tactic of fear or intimidation during the civil war in El Salvador. He also shares personal accounts of friends who were taken at gunpoint. 00:14:40 - Forced Disappearance in Central and South America Nelson discusses the backdrop of the term "disappeared" (Desaparacido) and the cultural significance rooted in families missing loved ones. Over 100,000 people have been forcibly disappeared since 1950, with the majority presumed dead. 00:16:08 - The Unresolved Mystery Nelson shares his experience of being reunited with his birth father at 16, who knew about his survival and adoption but had no idea about what happened to his wife and child. The unresolved fate of his birth mother is a lingering question. 00:18:27 - Reconnecting with Birth Family Nelson reflects on his incredible journey of reuniting with his birth family and the challenges and excitement of embracing a new culture. He acknowledges the support and difficulty faced by his adoptive parents throughout the process. 00:21:26 - The Nature of Adoption Nelson emphasizes the importance of acknowledging an adoptee's history and roots, beyond the nurture received from adoptive parents. He shares the positive impact of being allowed to explore his birthright in Central America. 00:25:19 - Continuing Issue of Forced Disappearances The conversation ends on a poignant note as Nelson highlights the ongoing issue of forced disappearances in Central and South America to this day. He calls for awareness and support to make necessary changes.
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Perspectives from a Former Foster Youth and Adoptive Parent with Alicia Murray - Ep 132
02/12/2024
Perspectives from a Former Foster Youth and Adoptive Parent with Alicia Murray - Ep 132
Love is an action. It's not always pink and it's not always red. Sometimes it gets black, sometimes it gets blue. But love is an action. - Alicia Murray In this episode, you will be able to: Explore the challenges of foster care and adoption journeys. Discover the profound importance of sibling connections in adoption. Embrace the value of openness in adoption and birth family connections. Find out how to provide essential post-adoption services and support. Uncover the challenges and realities of adopting older children. My special guest is Alicia Murray Our guest, Alicia Murray, brings a wealth of firsthand experience in the adoption landscape. Having been adopted at the age of ten after navigating through seven different foster placements, Alicia's journey offers a unique perspective on the challenges of adoption, particularly when it comes to older children. With a background in psychology and a current role as a family support specialist, Alicia's insights are rooted in both personal experience and professional expertise. Her work in helping foster youth find permanency further solidifies her credibility as an advocate in the adoption community. Plus she's now an adoptive mom of two sibling toddlers herself. Alicia joins us to shed light on the realities and complexities of adopting older children, offering valuable knowledge and empathy to our discussion. =============== 📆 Community Calendar: ✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: =============== The resources mentioned in this episode are: Email Alicia at for any questions or inquiries about their programs and services. Visit to explore an array of resources, events, programs, and support groups for adoptive families, teens, and everyone involved in the adoption process. Find AFFCNY on Instagram as @AFFCNY, ; and on Facebook as @Adoptive and Foster Family Coalition of New York, Explore the resources and support provided by Wendy's Wonderful Kids, a nonprofit organization collaborating with AFFCNY to help older adopted youth find permanent placement: Beth's wonderful life coach, Heather Ross, has a podcast plus individual and group coaching: =============== Embrace openness in adoption A conversation with Alicia Murray unveils the transformative power of openness in adoption. She conveys a strong need for adoptive families to support a child’s connection with their biological roots, affirming it’s crucial for maintaining their sense of identity and well-being. With Alicia’s encouraging perspective, it becomes evident that embracing openness in adoption does not necessarily divide love but multiplies it, fostering a nurturing environment for the child's overall development. =============== Other Resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Check out our website: Create your own podcast through Libsyn: =============== Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:00:00 - Introduction and Background Beth Syverson introduces herself as an adoptive mom and certified coach. Guest, Alicia Murray, shares her experience of being adopted at age ten after multiple foster placements. 00:00:51 - Alicia's Foster Experience Alicia describes her tumultuous experience of being in multiple foster placements and finally being adopted at age ten. She also shares the challenges of being separated from her brother and the difficulties in finding a permanent home. 00:04:17 - Reconnecting with Biological Family Alicia recounts the complicated story of reconnecting with her biological family at the age of 13, including finding her grandmother's phone number in the yellow pages and the emotional reunion with her mother. 00:11:20 - Finding Purpose and Healing Alicia shares her journey of healing and finding purpose through therapy, introspection, and pursuing a career in foster care and adoption. She reflects on how her own experiences have shaped her approach as a foster and adoptive parent. 00:13:37 - Fostering and Adoption Journey Alicia discusses her initial intention to become a foster parent, her unexpected journey of adopting two siblings, and the challenges and joys of raising them as part of her own family. 00:14:07 - Importance of Open Adoption Alicia discusses the benefits of openness in adoption for children, emphasizing the importance of knowing their lineage and feeling like a whole human as adults. 00:15:53 - Challenges of Closed Adoption Alicia highlights the negative impact of closed adoptions, where adoptive parents cut off communication with the child once they become adults, leading to resentment and lack of trust. 00:17:33 - Building Relationships with Birth Parents Alicia shares her experiences of maintaining a relationship with the birth mother and the challenges of navigating visits, emphasizing the importance of communication and respect in the co-parenting dynamic. 00:21:29 - Post-Adoption Support Services Alicia explains her role as a family support specialist, providing post-adoptive families with a range of services and support, including therapy, groups, and resources, to help them navigate the complexities of adoption. 00:25:25 - Empathy and Triggering Alicia discusses her personal experiences as an adoptee and foster child, and how it influences her empathy and approach to supporting adoptive families dealing with challenging situations. 00:27:51 - Challenges of Adoptive Parenting Alicia discusses the challenges adoptive parents face, including the reality of dealing with issues such as sexual acting out, addiction, and trauma-related behaviors in older adopted children. She emphasizes the importance of being prepared and having realistic expectations. 00:29:29 - Impact of Relinquishment Trauma Alicia highlights the lasting impact of relinquishment trauma on adopted children, regardless of when it occurred. She emphasizes the need for love and support, acknowledging that the journey may have ups and downs, but connection is crucial for healing. 00:30:19 - The Journey of Older Adopted Children Beth shares her personal experience of navigating through challenging years with her adopted child and the transformation she witnessed as he's grown into adulthood. She stresses the importance of support and understanding for older adopted children, as well as the ongoing learning process for parents. 00:32:35 - Support for Adoptive Families Alicia discusses the resources and support provided by her organization, AFFCNY, for adoptive parents, foster parents, and teens. She encourages listeners to explore the services available and consider contributing to the nonprofit organizations, AFFCNY, and Wendy's Wonderful Kids, to help support their initiatives. 00:33:46 - Importance of Inclusion and Support Beth and Alicia express the importance of including the voices of older adopted children in conversations about adoption and advocating for their needs. They emphasize the significance of understanding the complexities of adoption and supporting organizations that work towards enhancing the lives of adoptees and foster youth.
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A Twice-Adopted Person’s Path Toward Wholeness with Julian Washio-Collette - Ep 131
02/05/2024
A Twice-Adopted Person’s Path Toward Wholeness with Julian Washio-Collette - Ep 131
"I started meditating a lot, and eventually doing retreats, eventually going to monasteries, spending some time in a Zen Buddhist meditation center. So, yeah, I think that's kind of where I took my pain, my anguish, my existential questions, and I think there's some ambiguity there. I think there's also a kind of escapism, because I didn't know how to connect with the world or address questions that other people my age were addressing. Like livelihood, relationships, family. I just sat on a cushion." - Julian Washio Collette Can you imagine the weight of not belonging and carrying the trauma of multiple abandonments? The struggle to find a sense of identity and stability after being adopted and then relinquished and adopted again is incredibly challenging. The lack of control over your own story and the feeling of being failed by the system can leave deep emotional scars. Julian's life story will help you understand the impacts of relinquishment, and will make you aware of the importance of finding support and community to help navigate the complexities of adoption. =============== 📆 Community Calendar: ✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: =============== In this episode, you will be able to: Understand the unique challenges of being a double adoptee and how it shapes one's identity. Explore the profound impact of abandonment and abuse on adoptees and their journey to healing. Gain insight into the complexities of adoption and the importance of understanding its nuances. Discover the need for better support systems for adoptees and how it can positively impact their lives. Learn about the lifelong impact of multiple abandonments and how it shapes the adoptee's perspective and experiences. My special guest is Julian Washio-Collette Julian Washio-Collette, a former Catholic monk currently residing in Portland, Oregon, is our guest for this episode. As a double adoptee, Julian's personal journey of being adopted as an infant and then again at the age of nine provides a unique perspective on the complexities of adoption. With a passion for writing about spirituality, adoption, and healing, Julian's insights and experiences contribute to a deeper understanding of the challenges faced by individuals impacted by adoption or abandonment. His story sheds light on the resilience and strength needed to navigate such intricate circumstances, making him a valuable voice in the conversation around adoption. =============== The resources mentioned in this episode are: Visit Julian's blog site called Peregrine Adoptee to read his insightful writings about spirituality, adoption, and healing: Explore the Unraveling Adoption website to find information about upcoming events, webinars, and workshops related to adoption and healing, including Mee Ok Icaro's upcoming webinar about Sacred Plant Medicine 101 for the Adoption Constellation: =============== Other Resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: =============== Unique Challenges of Double Adoptees The unique challenges faced by double adoptees like Julian Washio-Collette are centered around the absence of family continuity and frequent displacement. The uncertainty, disconnection, and confusion induced by double adoptions can leave deep psychological scars. Their unprecedented experiences urge us to shed light on the hidden complexities of double adoption and foster understanding about their distinct needs and perspectives. =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Check out our website: Create your own podcast through Libsyn: =============== Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:00:00 - Introduction and Background Beth introduces herself as an adoptive mom and certified coach. Julian's background as a double adoptee is highlighted, setting the stage for a complex and impactful story. 00:01:21 - Julian's Early Life Julian shares details about his first adoption and the secrecy surrounding his birth and early years. The lack of information about his early life creates a sense of fuzziness and identity dissonance. 00:05:16 - Second Adoption and Family Dynamics Julian recounts the circumstances of his second adoption at the age of nine and the abusive environment in his second adoptive family. The lack of support and bond with his adoptive parents led to a feeling of survival mode for both him and his sister. 00:09:29 - Support Systems and Coping Mechanisms Beth and Julian discuss the absence of support for him from social workers, teachers, and extended family members. Julian's coping mechanisms, including withdrawal, guilt, and finding solace in punk music and skateboarding, are highlighted. 00:11:55 - Surviving and Coping Julian reflects on how he navigated through his challenging childhood, highlighting the lack of genuine bond with his adoptive parents and the role of music and skateboarding as outlets for emotional expression and physical activity. 00:13:32 - Early Years and Spiritual Exploration Julian shares his journey from skateboarding and punk rock shows to discovering healing and spirituality. He discusses his involvement in 12-step programs and Zen Buddhist meditation before becoming a Catholic monk. 00:15:28 - Escaping Into Spirituality Julian reflects on using meditation and retreats as a way to escape from addressing societal and personal questions. He discusses his codependent relationships and the concept of "abandaholic." 00:17:13 - Transition to Catholicism and Monastic Life Julian describes his intuitive decision to join a Catholic monastery and the impactful spiritual experience he had there. He explains his connection to the writings of Julian of Norwich and the significance of choosing the name Julian. 00:19:24 - Cultural Inheritance and Homecoming Julian shares his experience of feeling a sense of homecoming to his native religion and cultural heritage at the monastery. He discusses the power of symbolism, rituals, and the impact of his Italian background on his spiritual journey. 00:23:19 - The Impact of Closed Adoptions Julian discusses the lack of care and concern within the adoption system, highlighting the failures of the closed adoption process. He emphasizes the need for change and the impact on both adoptees and birth mothers.
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Breaking Free: Reclaiming Identity as an Intercountry Adoptee with Sariah Baker - Ep 130
01/27/2024
Breaking Free: Reclaiming Identity as an Intercountry Adoptee with Sariah Baker - Ep 130
“I think for adoptees, my biggest advice for them is to ask if you need something. Whether it be therapy, whether it's understanding your story, whether it's being able to know your identity, ask. And if they don't want to tell you, keep asking.” -- Sariah Baker In this episode, you will be able to: Understand the profound influence of adoption trauma on self-identity and self-worth. Discover the unique struggles and triumphs faced by intercountry adoptees in the LGBTQ+ community. Recognize the pivotal role adoptive parents play in supporting the unique needs and experiences of intercountry adoptees. Learn about effective therapeutic approaches that empower intercountry adoptees to navigate their complex identities and experiences. Observe a journey of self-discovery and personal growth as an intercountry adoptee sheds limiting labels and societal expectations. =============== 📆 Community Calendar: ✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: =============== My special guest is Sariah Baker Sariah Baker, a 31-year-old human resources manager living in Portland, Oregon, brings a unique perspective to the complexities of intercountry and interracial adoption. As an intercountry adoptee from China, raised in a white Mormon family, Sariah's story delves into the intricate layers of identity she has navigated throughout her life. Her experiences offer valuable insights into the challenges and triumphs of finding and embracing one's true identity. The resources mentioned in this episode are: Subscribe to Sariah's YouTube channel The Adoptee Apostate for insightful content and poetry readings related to adoption, identity, and personal growth: Follow Sariah on TikTok at The Adoptee Apostate for engaging and thought-provoking videos on adoption, mental health, and self-discovery: Connect with Sariah on Instagram at The Adoptee Apostate for updates on her journey, poetry, and discussions on adoption and identity: Here’s the book Sariah mentioned about her Chinese orphanage, Death by Default: A Policy of Fatal Neglect in China's State Orphanages: Adoption Mosaic is a wonderful organization, headed by Astrid Castro, to support adoptees: Other resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: =============== Uncovering the Impact of Adoption Trauma Adoption trauma can have long-lasting effects on an adoptee. It can shake one's self-perception and fuel internal struggles, particularly in relation to identity. Helping adoptees navigate and heal from such trauma requires understanding, patience, and therapeutic intervention. Embracing the Vital Role of Adoptive Parents Adoptive parents play a crucial role in mitigating the impacts of adoption trauma and providing an accepting space for their children. They hold the responsibility of fostering open communication, providing emotional support, and celebrating the unique backgrounds of their adoptees. Proper understanding and support from adoptive parents can significantly aid in an adoptee's journey towards self-acceptance and self-discovery. =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Check out our website: Create your own podcast through Libsyn: =============== Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:00:00 - Introduction and Background Beth introduces the podcast and the guest, Sariah Baker, an intercountry adoptee from China raised in a white Mormon family. Sariah briefly shares her background and the circumstances of her adoption. 00:02:47 - Challenges of Adoption Sariah discusses the complexities of her adoption, including the traumatic experiences in the orphanage and the challenges of being raised in a white Mormon family as a Chinese adoptee. 00:06:53 - Struggles with Identity and Trauma Sariah shares her struggles with trauma, perfectionism, and navigating her sexuality within the context of her Mormon upbringing, leading to emotional pain and self-medication with large quantities of Ibuprofen. 00:10:15 - Seeking Help and Recovery Sariah recounts seeking help for her mental health struggles and the impact of institutional treatment on breaking free from perfectionism and allowing herself to feel emotions. 00:11:28 - The Dangers of Self-Medication Sariah and Beth discuss the dangers of self-medication with Ibuprofen, highlighting the need for parents to secure over-the-counter medications and the underlying psychological need for control in such situations. 00:12:04 - Overcoming Struggles with Therapy Sariah shares her experience with therapy, including DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) and talk therapy, to overcome feelings of perfectionism and unmask her true self. 00:13:24 - Faith Crisis and Identity Struggle Sariah discusses her struggle with her faith and identity crisis, including grappling with her sexuality and the impact of her environment on her mental health. 00:14:37 - Battle with Bipolar Disorder Sariah opens up about her battle with bipolar disorder, including her suicide attempt and the importance of seeking help. 00:19:39 - Search for Birth Family Sariah talks about her ongoing journey to find her birth family, including her experience with DNA testing and the challenges she faces in this quest for self-discovery. 00:22:53 - Family Support and Validation Sariah reflects on the lack of support and validation from her adoptive family in her search for her birth family, emphasizing the importance of understanding and support in an adoptee's journey of self-discovery. 00:23:57 - Responsibilities of Adoptive Parents Sariah and Beth discuss the important responsibilities of adoptive parents, emphasizing the need for a holistic approach to supporting the emotional and healing needs of adopted children, as well as being prepared for potential reunions and therapy. 00:25:08 - Challenges of Intercountry Adoption Sariah and the host discuss the unexpected challenges and expenses of intercountry adoption, including the need for multiple trips to the child's country of origin, potential reunions, and therapy. They highlight the importance of adoptive parents being prepared for these aspects. 00:28:25 - Cultural Awareness and Identity Sariah shares her experience of growing up in a predominantly white and Mormon culture, where her Chinese identity and culture were not fully integrated. She discusses the impact of not being encouraged to explore her cultural heritage and the implications for adoptees. 00:31:56 - Family Dynamics and Healing Sariah reflects on her complex relationship with her adoptive family, expressing a desire for a more nurturing and supportive dynamic. She discusses the challenges of navigating her trauma and seeking acknowledgment and understanding from her family. 00:34:04 - Challenges of Identity and Acceptance Sariah delves into the challenges of navigating her identity as a former Mormon, her sexuality, and the pressure to conform to societal expectations. She shares her struggle with feeling judged by her family and the difficulty of making personal choices. 00:35:42 - Impact of self-talk and internal struggles Sariah discusses the unhealthy impact of self-talk and the internal struggles she faces as an adoptee, including feelings of being a bad person and the trauma of abandonment. 00:36:33 - Adoptive parents' reinforcement and expectations Sariah shares how adoptive parents' reinforcement and expectations can contribute to an adoptee's struggle with identity and acceptance, highlighting the challenges of being gay in a conservative environment. 00:37:28 - Prioritizing self-needs and coping mechanisms Sariah talks about prioritizing her own needs and shares coping mechanisms, including the use of poetry as a way to express emotions and the concept of the "backpack of truths" to acknowledge and accept oneself. 00:40:34 - Breaking free from societal labels Sariah reflects on breaking free from societal labels and embracing her authentic self, emphasizing the importance of personal growth and self-acceptance as an adoptee with multiple identities. Sariah shares a hopeful poem she wrote called “Walls Versus Gates.” 00:44:28 - Advice for adoptees and self-discovery Sariah offers advice for adoptees to seek understanding of their identity and emphasizes the importance of self-discovery and self-acceptance, encouraging others to explore their truths and seek support in their journey.
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Helping Adoptees Heal from Addiction's Grasp With David Bohl - Ep 129
01/22/2024
Helping Adoptees Heal from Addiction's Grasp With David Bohl - Ep 129
"Change can happen incrementally, and oftentimes it's better that it does. We've heard the cliche 'trust the process.' Oftentimes the process is the most important thing." - David Bohl Join relinquishee/adoptee recovery coach David Bohl as he confronts the paradox of finding trust and healing in the intersection of adoption and addiction. He guides individuals towards healthy coping mechanisms and support in the face of deep-rooted trauma. In this episode, you will be able to: Understand the possible impacts of adoption trauma on mental health and addiction. Embrace TRUST as a key component in the journey to recovery. Explore the unique challenges of addiction for adopted people. Find safe and supportive communities for healing and growth. My special guest is David Bohl Meet David B. Bohl, an expert in addiction and adoption, whose personal journey through addiction recovery and exploration of the complex intersection between adoption and addiction brings a unique blend of empathy and expertise to our conversation. With a background that includes serving on the boards of prominent addiction and adoption organizations and receiving credentials from esteemed organizations like the Hazelton Betty Ford Graduate School of Addiction Studies, David's insights are informed, compassionate, and relatable. His memoir, Parallel Universes, and nonfiction book, Relinquishment and Addiction: What Trauma Has to Do with It, not only solidify his expertise but also highlight his commitment to providing support for individuals affected by adoption and addiction. David's balanced approach to destigmatizing addiction and promoting recovery reflects his genuine passion for helping others navigate their healing journey. 📆 Community Calendar: ✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: The resources mentioned in this episode are: To find David Bohl's recovery coaching services, visit his website at or Google his name with the middle initial B to find his many resources online. Buy David’s memoir Parallel Universes: The Story of Rebirth: Check out the book David wrote with Jamie Marich, Relinquishment and Addiction: What Trauma Has to Do With It: Here’s Jamie Marich’s book Trauma and the 12 Steps: Paul Sunderland's excellent video "Addiction & Adoption: Remembered Not Recalled" can be found here: Celia Center has a facilitated adoption constellation addiction group, led by David, that meets every other Tuesday. Find more information here: To sign up for the Untangling Our Roots Summit in Denver in April 2024, visit the event's website for registration details. For adoptive parents interested in coaching groups, visit or email Beth at for more information on upcoming coaching groups or individual coaching sessions. If you're an adoptee, birth parent, adoptive parent, or ally looking for support groups or events, visit . I maintain a Community Calendar listing there with dozens of support groups for the adoption constellation. =============== Other Resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Check out our website: Create your own podcast through Libsyn: =============== Embracing trust in recovery - David emphasizes the crucial role of trust in recovery. From his own experiences, he realized that as an adoptee he had struggled to trust himself, others, and Higher Powers. His recovery journey was initiated by a process of rebuilding trust and finding healthier ways to deal with life's stressors. This topic is important as it underscores the concept that trust serves as a fundamental pillar in the path to recovery. =============== Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:00:00 - Introduction and Background Beth introduces herself, and acknowledges her and her son Joe's commitment to helping those impacted by adoption. She also introduces David Bohl as a guest who has struggled and recovered from addiction. 00:01:00 - David's Adoption Story and Addiction David shares his adoption story of being relinquished at birth and adopted, as well as his struggles with alcohol and nicotine addiction. He highlights the impact of trust issues stemming from his relinquishment and adoption experiences. 00:03:42 - Destigmatizing Addiction David discusses the need to destigmatize addiction and use everyday language to describe and address addiction issues. He emphasizes the importance of building trust and using more accepting language in recovery programs. 00:07:29 - Recovery and Identity Formation David shares his journey of recovery, emphasizing the expansion of his identity from a disconnected individual to someone who has learned healthy coping mechanisms and repaired fractured relationships. He highlights the ongoing process of identity formation in recovery. 00:08:52 - Understanding Relinquishment and Addiction Beth expresses empathy for the depth of pain experienced by relinquished individuals and acknowledges the tough challenge of dealing with disconnection from a young age. David emphasizes that addiction is simply a problem to be solved and discusses the need for understanding and support in addressing addiction issues. 00:12:08 - Importance of Safe Communities and Validation David emphasizes the importance of finding safe communities and getting validated in adoption spaces. He explains how it allows individuals to understand different perspectives and get to know themselves better, but also highlights that it is just the minimum needed to start healing. 00:13:26 - Stabilizing the Situation David discusses the need to stabilize the situation in addiction treatment, emphasizing the importance of eliminating unhealthy behaviors and perceptions while enhancing one's ability to feel good about themselves and their place in the world. He stresses the need for careful discussions and robust community support. 00:15:04 - Addiction and Adoption Constellation Support Group David shares insights about the addiction and adoption constellation support group he runs with Celia Center. He explains the purpose of the group, emphasizing the importance of creating a safe place, validating experiences, and facilitating robust discussions within the adoption constellation community. 00:18:33 - Resources and Support for the Adoption Constellation David discusses the availability of resources and support for the adoption constellation community, emphasizing the importance of raising awareness, providing psychoeducation, and letting people know about the various resources that now exist, especially through virtual platforms like Zoom. 00:20:32 - Helping Adopted Individuals in Addiction David shares his approach to helping adopted individuals struggling with addiction, emphasizing the importance of finding someone to trust, getting clear on what's working and what's not, setting up goals, identifying outcomes, and providing resources and support to help individuals overcome their challenges 00:23:40 - Introduction to Recovery Coaching David Bohl discusses his role as a recovery consultant and coach, offering support and resources for those struggling with addiction. 00:24:50 - Reach Out for Help David emphasizes the importance of seeking help and finding resources that work for each individual, encouraging listeners to reach out and find support. 00:25:34 - Be Gentle with Yourself David shares a message of self-compassion and incremental change, reminding listeners to be gentle with themselves and trust the healing process. 00:26:30 - Coaching Groups for Adoptive Parents Beth invites adoptive parents to join coaching groups focused on supporting teens and young adults struggling with addiction, as well as nurturing identity and making connections for younger children. 00:27:39 - Conclusion and Call to Action Beth encourages listeners to share the episode with those who may benefit from the important discussion on addiction, and expresses gratitude to David for his wisdom and mentorship.
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Podcasting to Elevate Adoptee Voices with Sarah Reinhardt and Louise Browne - Ep 128
01/15/2024
Podcasting to Elevate Adoptee Voices with Sarah Reinhardt and Louise Browne - Ep 128
"Adoptive parents, go do your own work. It's kind of a natural birthright to know who you are." - Louise Browne Adoptive parents and allies: Do you want to better understand and support your adoptive child's experiences? Our guests, adoptees Sarah Reinhardt and Louise Browne, will be sharing valuable insights and guidance on how to gain a deeper understanding and provide the support that adoptees need to thrive. By listening to their stories - and other adoptees' stories they share on their Adoption: The Making of Me podcast episodes - you can gain a deeper understanding and provide the necessary support for your adoptive child to flourish. Tune in to gain some new insights to support your adoptive child's journey. In this episode, you will be able to: Understand the unique challenges of adoption experiences. Explore the impact of secrecy and shame in adoption. Gain insight into adoptees' alternate realities and perspectives. Get the inside scoop about Sarah and Louise's friendship and their podcast, Adoption: The Making of Me. My special guests are Sarah Reinhardt and Louise Brownee Sarah Reinhardt and Louise Browne are the dynamic duo behind the podcast Adoption: The Making of Me. As adoptees themselves, they bring their personal stories and insights in a candid and relatable manner on their own pod. Through their podcast, they aim to unravel the complexities of adoption, offering a blend of humor, empathy, and raw honesty. Sarah and Louise's journey of coming "out of the fog" in real-time adds authenticity and depth to their discussions, making their podcast an invaluable resource for adoptive parents and allies seeking to understand and support their children's experiences. Get ready to dive into their fascinating stories and gain a deeper understanding of adoption through their eyes. And find out more about their podcast's background and hopes for the future. =============== 📆 Community Calendar: ✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: =============== The resources mentioned in this episode are: To listen to the Adoption: The Making of Me podcast, visit their website at , or search for them on your favorite podcast platform. Support the Adoption: The Making of Me podcast on Patreon to help them continue their important work in elevating adoptive voices and providing valuable resources to the adoption community. Come meet Sarah and Louise in New York for a meet-and-greet before Rebecca Autumn Sansom's and Liz DeBetta's Operation Fog Lift NYC Edition on February 2-4, 2024. Here are some of the books that were mentioned in the episode: The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier Journey of the Adopted Self by Betty Jean Lifton The Baby Thief: The Untold Story of Georgia Tann, the Baby Seller Who Corrupted Adoption by Barbara Bisantz Raymond Other Resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: Adoptee-Therapist Directory: =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to [email protected] Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Create your own podcast through Libsyn: =============== Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:00:00 - Introducing the Guests Beth introduces the guests, Sarah Reinhardt and Louise Browne, who co-host the podcast Adoption: The Making of Me. They aim to uncover adoption complexities and share their own adoption stories. 00:01:23 - Different Adoption Stories Sarah and Louise discuss their different adoption experiences. Sarah had a traumatic beginning, while Louise was adopted into a loving family. They highlight the impact of adoption on their lives. 00:09:30 - Coming Out of the Fog The guests share their journey of coming out of the fog, realizing the complexities of adoption, and experiencing emotional ups and downs. They discuss the awakening moments and the challenges they faced during this process. 00:11:42 - Starting the Podcast Sarah and Louise reflect on starting their podcast without anticipating the emotional intensity of discussing their adoption experiences. They talk about bonding over being adoptees and finding camaraderie with other adoptees. 00:13:02 - Adoptee Camaraderie The guests highlight the unique camaraderie among adoptees, where they can instantly connect with others who share similar experiences. They emphasize the shared understanding and connection that comes from living through adoption. 00:13:12 - The Beginning of the Podcast Journey Sarah and Louise discuss how their podcast journey began as adoptees looking to explore the adoption world and provide a platform for adoptees to share their stories. 00:14:39 - Unexpected Growth and Community Reflecting on the podcast's growth, Sarah and Louise acknowledge the impact of books, their supportive listeners, and the community they've built, highlighting the importance of diverse adoptee voices. 00:16:39 - Insights from Difficult Topics The hosts share insights from discussing difficult topics, such as the book The Baby Thief, shedding light on the impact of historical figures like Georgia Tann and the far-reaching ripple effects of adoption-related trauma. 00:19:00 - Embracing Adoptee Stories Sarah and Louise express their commitment to providing space for all adoptees to share their stories, emphasizing the importance of empathy and understanding regardless of individual experiences. 00:24:18 - Future Visions and Realities The hosts discuss their future vision for the podcast, acknowledging the desire to reach wider audiences and expand their impact, while also recognizing the challenges of balancing real-life responsibilities with podcasting. 00:25:37 - Weekend Events and Workshops Sarah and Louise discuss the upcoming New York event Operation Fog Lift, including a happy hour, a movie screening, and a writing workshop. They highlight the opportunities for adoptees and supporters to connect in person. 00:26:41 - First In-Person Event Louise shares that this is their first in-person event, and they express excitement about meeting people face to face. They emphasize the transformative experience of interacting with others in real life. 00:27:59 - Advice for Adoptive Parents The hosts offer advice for adoptive parents, emphasizing the importance of open communication, doing personal healing work, and not taking things personally. They stress the significance of acknowledging the adoptee's identity and experiences. 00:32:12 - Abundance of Adoptee Podcasts Sarah and Louise discuss the value of the adoption community supporting numerous adoptee podcasts, emphasizing the diversity of voices and the ability to cater to different segments of the audience. They highlight the importance of collaboration and supporting each other within the adoption community. 00:34:27 - Dream Celebrity Interviews The hosts express their desire to interview celebrities such as Keegan Michael Key, Colin Kaepernick, and Simone Biles, who all have adoption connections. They share their bold approach to reaching out to potential guests and the significance of elevating adoptee voices through their podcast. 00:38:12 - Coaching for Adoptive Parents Beth offers coaching services for adoptive parents, specializing in helping them navigate through challenges such as addiction, mental health, and suicidality in their children. Her personal experience allows her to provide valuable support and resources.
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Joe's Healing Journey, Continued - Ep 127
01/08/2024
Joe's Healing Journey, Continued - Ep 127
"Today really is the solidified decision is that I'm going to quit marijuana for...not forever, but for one day at a time. That's how people should look at it. You don't have to, but that's how I'm looking at it, to keep myself afloat." -- Joe Nakao Unraveling Adoption's co-creator Joe Nakao catches us up on his journey to achieve personal growth and to heal his cannabis addiction, seeking support and understanding along the way. In this episode, you will be able to: Understand the derailing effect of cannabis addiction Unravel the impact of genetic factors on adoptive individuals' addiction. Embrace the importance of self-compassion and support in addiction recovery. Explore the benefits of online support groups in addiction recovery. My special guest is my dear son, Joe Nakao As a co-creator of this podcast, Joe brings a personal and relatable touch to the discussion. He bravely shares his journey of addiction recovery and healing, shedding light on the complexities of his experiences as a transracial adoptee. Joe's candid and insightful reflections offer a valuable perspective on the challenges of overcoming addiction, making him an authentic and credible voice for individuals on similar paths. 📆 Community Calendar: ✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: The resources mentioned in this episode are: Check out the community calendar at for continuously-updated support groups, including specific groups for adoptees and addiction. Here's a Filtered view of the Addiction-specific events on the Community Calendar: Join the interactive workshop How to Change Well on Zoom on Monday, January 8, 2024, at 4pm PST / 7pm EST. The workshop focuses on gracefully and intentionally making changes in your life. The cost is $20.24, and Patreon supporters receive a 50% discount on live events, including this workshop. Register at . Other Resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Check out our website: Create your own podcast through Libsyn: Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:00:00 - Introduction and New Year Update Beth introduces the episode and her son, Joe, who shares his recent achievements, such as getting his driver's permit and enrolling in college. Joe also discusses his struggles with substance abuse and mental health. 00:04:21 - Impact of Substance Abuse Joe discusses the negative effects of marijuana on his life, including memory problems and lack of motivation. He and his mom also reflect on how self-medication with marijuana as a transracially adopted teen makes sense. 00:10:31 - Influence of Supplements on Recovery Joe attributes a portion of his ability to pursue recovery to the supplements he has been taking that were prescribed after his genetic testing. These supplements have helped him feel more focused and engaged in tasks that he would have previously avoided. 00:11:32 - Embracing Change and Self-Discovery Joe expresses a newfound determination to make positive changes in his life. He acknowledges the need to go deeper in his healing process and emphasizes the importance of making the decision to pursue sobriety from within. 00:13:57 - Intrinsic Motivation for Recovery Beth and Joe discuss the significance of intrinsic motivation in the recovery process. Joe recognizes that sustainable change comes from within and highlights the importance of being personally invested in the journey towards sobriety. 00:14:14 - Recognizing the bigger picture of success Joe discusses his realization about the dead-end path of his weed usage and the importance of making a life for himself. He acknowledges the benefits of weed but recognizes its negative impact on his life. 00:15:39 - Support from friends and addiction Joe shares how his friends have been supportive and want him to be better. He reflects on his desire to be in a position to help others in the same way his friends have helped him. 00:17:41 - Genetics and addiction Beth highlights the impact of genetics on addiction and how it can be especially relevant for adopted individuals who may not know their genetic predispositions. Joe emphasizes the importance of self-compassion and reaching out for support. 00:19:16 - Finding the healing path Joe advises individuals struggling with addiction to practice self-compassion and seek external support. He emphasizes the value of meditation and self-expression through art or exercise as part of the healing journey. 00:23:19 - Reaching out for help Joe stresses the importance of reaching out to others for support, even if feeling lonely or in crisis. He encourages individuals to seek online groups, addiction and/or adoption support groups, and to find people who can offer compassionate help.
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Is It Even Possible to Do Transracial Adoption Well? with Katie Wynen - Ep 126
01/01/2024
Is It Even Possible to Do Transracial Adoption Well? with Katie Wynen - Ep 126
“If you, as the white adoptive parent, are comfortable, you're not doing it right. Because your kid is uncomfortable.” - Katie Wynen Are you touched by transracial adoption? Or do you know any adoptees who were adopted transracially? How do you personally frame transracial adoption? Some common rationalizations include the belief that love is enough, that colorblindness is the solution, and that children will assimilate easily into their new culture. But this episode will challenge those cultural norms which are based on white privilege. Stay tuned as our guest, transracial adoptee and adoption professional, Katie Wynen, shares her truth about ethical practices in transracial adoption. In this episode, you will be able to: Understand the complexities of transracial adoption and how to navigate them effectively. Find support and insight to do the very best you can as adoptive parents in a diverse family dynamic. Recognize and combat the impact of white supremacy on transracial adoptive families. Discover strategies for helping a transracially adopted child navigate their racial identity in a loving and supportive environment. My special guest is Katie Wynen Katie Wynen is a transracial, Colombian adoptee who holds a Master's degree in Social Work and boasts over a decade of experience as an adoption professional. Having studied under Dr. Joyce Maguire Pavao in Boston, Katie's professional journey led her to join the staff of Pact: An Adoption Alliance in 2012. In her role, she is involved in adoption placement, leading adult adoptee support groups, and providing adoption education on a national scale. Notably, Katie's commitment to advocating for adoptees, particularly those who are people of color and LGBTQ+, was acknowledged with the Angels in Adoption 2019 award from the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute. With her extensive personal and professional background, Katie is a key resource for gaining insights into ethical practices in transracial adoption. 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 📆 Community Calendar: ✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 The resources mentioned in this episode are: Visit for information on support calls, webinars, teen and tween club, and other resources related to adoption, including race and adoption-focused therapy. Contact Katie at for additional resources, adoptee support groups, and therapy support resources. Check out for a free support group for adoptive parents, individual and group coaching, and other resources for people touched by adoption. Understanding Transracial Adoption Complexities Transracial adoption brings unique complexities that need acknowledgment and understanding. As Katie Wynen highlights, adoptees of color often grapple with feelings of discomfort and a lack of belonging in their adoptive families. Moreover, nuances such as navigating racial identity within a family of a different race underscores the need for comprehensive support structures. 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 Other resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: Other Parents Like Me - Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: Adoptee-Therapist Directory: 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Find us on , , and Support Unraveling Adoption on : Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption Create your own podcast through Libsyn: 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 Support and Insight for Adoptive Parents Adoptive parents play a pivotal role in shaping the experiences of their adopted children. As such, they require adequate knowledge and tools to help their children navigate challenges related to their racial identity and adoption. Wynen emphasizes the need for adoptive parents, especially those of transracial adoptions, to consider proactive approaches like finding their own support systems and continually educating themselves about various adoption issues. Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:00:00 - Introduction and Background Beth introduces herself as an adoptive mom of her 19-year-old son, Joe. She also introduces Katie Wynen, a transracial, international Colombian adoptee with a Master's degree in Social Work. 00:00:57 - Katie's Adoption Story Katie shares her adoption story, being born in Bogotá, Colombia, and being adopted by a white Episcopalian family in the U.S. She discusses growing up in a predominantly white community and the impact of being a transracial adoptee. 00:03:15 - Challenges of Growing Up Katie reflects on challenges she faced growing up in a white family and community as a person of color. She discusses the lack of cultural connection, language barriers, and the importance of diversity in educational settings. 00:08:40 - Career Path and Mentoring Katie talks about her career trajectory, from initially wanting to be a teacher to pursuing social work, inspired by her experience working with adopted youth. She also shares her experience working under Dr. Joyce Maguire Pavao and the impact it had on her professional development. 00:11:18 - Joining Pact Katie describes her journey to joining Pact: An Adoption Alliance, and how she initially volunteered before being hired. She shares her persistence and manifestation in pursuing her career in the adoption field. 00:14:27 - Focus on supporting prospective adoptive parents of color Katie emphasizes Pact's focus on supporting prospective adoptive parents of color, including same-race placements, and how this approach differs from traditional adoption agencies. 00:17:32 - Family preservation approach Katie discusses Pact's approach to family preservation, highlighting the organization's commitment to exploring all options to support birth parents in parenting before considering adoption placements. 00:22:04 - Ethical adoption practices Katie emphasizes Pact's commitment to ethical adoption practices and how they prioritize the best interests of the child and family preservation over the desires of prospective adoptive parents. 00:24:06 - Post-placement support and resources Katie explains how Pact provides extensive post-placement support, including virtual support calls, webinars, family camps, and specific support for adoptees and their families, setting them apart from other adoption agencies. 00:26:19 - Support for Birth Parents Katie discusses the support provided to birth parents, including financial assistance and check-ins. She contrasts this with other agencies that do not offer similar support. 00:26:59 - Pact Camp Overview Katie provides an overview of Pact Camp, including its focus on education and support for both kids and adults. She emphasizes the importance of providing a safe space for adoptive families of color. 00:28:39 - Age-Appropriate Discussions Katie explains how she conducts age-appropriate discussions about adoption with kids at Pact Camp, addressing the challenges they face and empowering them to respond to teasing and intrusive questions. 00:30:44 - Impact of Pact Camp Katie shares heartwarming stories of kids at Pact Camp expressing their emotions and having meaningful conversations with their parents. She emphasizes the importance of creating a supportive and inclusive environment for adoptive families. 00:35:32 - Transracial Adoption The conversation delves into the complexities and challenges of transracial adoption, with Katie expressing her personal and professional views on the topic. Both the adoptee and social worker perspectives are presented. 00:39:25 - The discomfort of adoptees of color with white parents Katie shares that adoptees of color often feel uncomfortable around their white adoptive parents 95% of the time. She emphasizes the need for white adoptive parents to prioritize their child's well-being over their own comfort. 00:40:30 - Relationship with parents Katie discusses her relationship with her parents, acknowledging that they are not fully estranged but also not extremely close. She highlights the importance of adoptive parents acknowledging their involvement in the adoption process and the need for better support for adoptees of color. 00:43:38 - Coming out of the fog Katie advises adoptive parents to find their own support and therapy when coming to terms with their role in the adoption process. She emphasizes the need for adoptive parents to acknowledge their involvement and privilege, and to commit to being different moving forward. 00:45:25 - Acknowledging involvement in adoption Katie expresses the importance of adoptive parents acknowledging their role in the adoption industry and their lack of knowledge. She also highlights the need for adoptive parents to recognize their child as a person of color and to provide support and understanding in the face of racial challenges. 00:50:27 - Adoption trauma Katie discusses the ongoing impact of adoption trauma and relinquishment trauma on adoptees, emphasizing that it is always a significant part of their experience, especially for those who do not look like their parents. She encourages adoptive parents to understand and address this underlying trauma 00:52:09 - Identity and White Supremacy Beth shares a troubling experience of her son seeing a white person when he looks in the mirror. The conversation delves into the impact of white supremacy on identity and adoption. 00:52:44 - Ethical Adoption Beth acknowledges Katie's work in ethical adoption and expresses gratitude for her efforts. The conversation highlights the thin line of ethical adoption and the challenges faced by adoptees. 00:53:19 - Importance of Listening Katie emphasizes the importance of audio platforms for learning about race and adoption. The conversation encourages listeners to reflect and engage in difficult conversations on race and transracial adoption. 00:53:48 - Resources and Support Katie shares information about Pact's website and resources for support groups, therapy, and events related to race and adoption. The conversation also touches on the evolving perspectives on transracial adoption. 00:55:15 - Collaboration and Support Beth and Katie discuss collaboration opportunities and encourage listeners to explore Pact's and Unraveling Adoption's websites for additional support and resources.
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