Healing Adoption Trauma Through Alternative Therapies with Ridghaus - Ep 113

Reserve your FREE ticket to the Sacred Plant Medicine for Healing the Adoption Constellation webinar featuring Ridghaus as one of the panelists, December 3 at 1pm PST: https://healingadoptiontrauma.eventbrite.com

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"Somatic therapy starts to move the body...taking breaths, activating the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems so that I started to have full body sensation as we talked about different things." - Ridghaus

In the depths of his journey through adoption, Ridghaus faced a powerful twist that would forever alter his path. What began as a selfless decision to relinquish this son for adoption suddenly transformed into a revelation about his own life. A surprising call from a social worker shattered his previous beliefs and opened new doors of possibility.

In this episode, you will be able to:

• Understand the complexities of the adoptee experience and gain insights into its unique challenges and perspectives.

• Learn about trauma in the adoption constellation, and discover strategies for supporting healing and resilience.

• Recognize the importance of support and community for adoptees, and discover resources and networks to help navigate the journey.

• Discover the potential of psychedelics and Internal Family Systems therapy as innovative approaches for adoptee healing and personal growth.

My special guest is Ridghaus

Ridghaus is a fascinating and multi-talented individual who brings a unique perspective to the world of adoption. As a "human becoming" and lifelong learner, Ridghaus has explored various roles and identities, including being an archaeologist of cultural artifacts, a Dudeist priest, a poet, a teacher, a filmmaker, and a guide for others's journeys. His personal experiences with adoption have deeply shaped his understanding of the complexities within the adoption constellation. From relinquishing a son in an open adoption to discovering his own adoption later in life, Ridghaus has navigated the emotional terrain of adoption with resilience and introspection. His journey and his use of a controversial healing modality have provided him with valuable insights that he generously shares with others. Join us in this episode as we delve into Ridghaus' unique perspective and gain a deeper understanding of trauma and healing in the adoption journey.

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The resources mentioned in this episode are:

• Check out Ridghaus House's creative work, Six Word Adoption Memoirs: https://vimeo.com/211568644

• Attend the next Untangling our Roots summit this spring to connect with others in the adoption community: https://untanglingourroots.org/

• Consider working with an adoption competent therapist to navigate the complexities of adoption. Check out the Adoptee Therapist Directory here: https://growbeyondwords.com/adoptee-therapist-directory/

• Find support for adult children of alcoholics here: https://adultchildren.org/

• Have you read The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk yet? https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/B08TX585RN

• Find out more about Internal Family Systems (IFS) here: https://ifs-institute.com/

• Here are the books that are mentioned toward the end of the episode:

• How To Change Your Mind by Michael Pollan: https://www.amazon.com/Change-Your-Mind-Consciousness-Transcendence/dp/0735224153

• This Is Your Mind on Plants by Michael Pollan: https://www.amazon.com/This-Your-Mind-Plants/dp/B08RF1K2LD

• The Botany of Desire by Michael Pollan: https://www.amazon.com/Botany-Desire-Plants-Eye-View-World/dp/B0B3L6G9F5

• Braiding Sweet Grass by Robin Wall Kimmerer: https://www.amazon.com/Braiding-Sweetgrass-audiobook/dp/B01H4772CU

• The Doors of Perception by Aldous Huxley: https://www.amazon.com/The-Doors-of-Perception-audiobook/dp/B002LCSVB0

Other Resources:

• APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude

• Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com 

• Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/

• Adoptee-Therapist Directory: https://growbeyondwords.com/adoptee-therapist-directory/

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Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson

Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao

Email questions or comments to [email protected]

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Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption

www.UnravelingAdoption.com

Understand Adoptee Complexities
Adoptees often navigate a myriad of complex emotions and experiences related to their adoption. By gaining a deep understanding of these complexities, adoptive parents can better support their children in their unique journeys. This inclusive insight assists adoptive parents in forming a healthy, resilient dynamic within their family.

Explore Trauma and Somatic Experiences
It's critical for parents and caregivers to recognize the impact of trauma that can exist within the bodies of adoptees, even when it may not be expressed verbally. Moreover, somatic experiences like yoga or hip work can provide a gateway to this unexpressed or 'bodily' trauma. The exploration of these traumas can offer an alternate healing approach besides traditional talk therapies.

Recognize Importance of Support
Support plays an indispensable role in the healing journey of an adoptee, whether it be professional aid from therapists or somatic practitioners, or a comforting community that understands their experiences. Adoptees can benefit greatly from being surrounded by individuals who validate their emotions and experiences associated with adoption. Shared resonance creates a sense of belonging, and supportive spaces aid in articulating feelings productively.

Timestamped summary of this episode:

00:01:26 - Ridg's Connections to Adoption,
Ridg shares that his first connection to adoption was through relinquishing a son at 19. He also discovered his own adoption at 35. He discusses the challenges of being a biological father in an open adoption and the lack of support for biological fathers in adoption spaces.

00:05:20 - Discovering His Adoption,
Ridg discusses his estranged relationship with his adoptive parents and their denial of his adoption. He shares the emotional impact of discovering his adoption and the importance of support and therapy in the reunion process.

00:08:59 - Reunion with Birth Mother,
Ridg shares that his birth mother was looking for him and they have been in reunion since. He reflects on the challenges of the reunion process and the need for adoption-competent therapy to navigate the complexities of reunion.

00:10:26 - Adoptive Parent Perspective,
Ridg discusses the delicate balance adoptive parents face in supporting their child's search for their birth family. He emphasizes the importance of adoptive parents doing their own personal work and being supportive without pressuring their child.

00:15:37 - The Body Keeps the Score and Somatic Experience,
Trauma lives in the body and is experienced pre-verbally. Somatic experiences, like yoga, can access and work through these traumas in a different way than just talking about them. Hips store pre-verbal memory.

00:17:11 - Finding Support and Safe Spaces,
It's important to have a support system and be in a safe space when delving into trauma. This can include therapists, somatic practitioners, or even trusted friends. Online and in-person communities can provide a sense of belonging.

00:18:19 - Survivor Bonds and Adoption as Trauma,
Adoptees often form tight bonds with others who have had similar experiences, creating a sense of belonging and understanding. Adoption can be seen as a traumatic experience, but societal narratives often suppress this perspective, making it important for adoptees to find validation and support.

00:20:10 - Acceptance and Understanding at Adoption Conferences,
Adoption conferences provide a space for adoptees to express themselves and be understood without judgment. The connections made at these conferences are deep and rooted in shared experiences of trauma and identity. Non-adoptive attendees can also find acceptance and understanding.

00:22:08 - The Challenges of Adoptive Parenthood,
Adoptive parents often bear the brunt of adoptees' pain and anger, as they are the immediate connection to the adoption experience. It's important for adoptive parents to do their own personal work and educate themselves on adoption trauma.

00:30:33 - The Openness of Internal Family Systems (IFS),
The guest discusses the beauty of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy and how it allows for flexibility and openness. There is no dogma or strict rules, and individuals can personalize the therapy to fit their needs.

00:31:11 - Understanding Suicidal Parts in IFS,
The host shares a personal experience of working with a suicidal part with her son. She explains that this part is not trying to kill the person, but rather to eliminate the pain. Understanding this has been helpful in managing the suicidal part and keeping Joey alive.

00:31:54 - IFS Therapy and Psychedelics,
The guest practices IFS therapy and also incorporates psychedelics into their work. He explain that psychedelics can be a powerful tool for healing and awakening, but emphasizes the importance of having a sitter or guide during the experience. Integration is also crucial for lasting change.

00:35:18 - Different Doses of Psychedelics,
The guest explains the different doses of psychedelics, from micro-dosing to heroic doses. They clarify that a heroic dose is not about slaying a dragon, but about deepening the journey and seeking major healing or awakening. He also emphasizes the importance of integration after the experience.

00:40:00 - The Transformative Power of Psychedelics,
Both the guest and the host share their personal experiences with psychedelics and the transformative experiences they've had.

00:45:53 - The Importance of Protecting the Inner Child,
The guest emphasizes the importance of being fiercely protective of one's inner child and offers various therapeutic approaches to connect with and understand this part of oneself, including talk therapy and somatic therapy. Psychedelics, when used in conjunction with Internal Family Systems therapy, can provide immediate access to the Protector and facilitate a conversation with the inner child.

00:46:55 - Exploring Deep Emotional Spaces with Psychedelics,
Psychedelics allow individuals to delve into pre-verbal and cultural burdens that may be affecting their well-being. By facing these deep-rooted issues with the guidance of a therapist, adoptees can find healing and a greater sense of wholeness.

00:48:11 - Symbolic Experiences and Healing,
Ridg shares a personal experience with symbolism during a psychedelic journey, where holding a penny with images of Abraham Lincoln and a shark represented something deeper than just money. This symbolic experience brought about a sense of ease and helped lessen the impact of the guest's adoption-related concerns.

00:49:46 - Psychedelics as a Tool for Adoptees,
Psychedelics, when used in a therapeutic context, can be a powerful tool for adoptees carrying cultural burdens and unresolved trauma. By engaging in preparatory work and integrating experiences, adoptees may find themselves more capable of taking on the challenges and healing on a profound level.

00:53:07 - Honoring Indigenous Knowledge and Ancient Practices,
Ridg and Beth acknowledge the rich cultural history and knowledge about plant medicines that Indigenous people hold. Even though psychedelics are re-emerging in our culture, it's important to remember that these medicines are ancient and come from a deeply spiritual context.