Ant Farm
Keepin' It Real with Cam Marston
On this week’s Keepin It Real, Cam has learned that there are moments in time where a simple guttural sound really really matters. And they can’t accumulate because they expire quickly. All this relates back to an incomplete Christmas present. ----- I got an ant farm for Christmas. My kids laughed and they told their friends and they laughed but my family came through and on Christmas morning I opened an ant farm. It has a main chamber and two auxiliary chambers. I set it up just like the pictures showed. A few weeks ago, in March, I got the ants for my birthday. Apparently, the farm...
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AI Me?
Keepin' It Real with Cam Marston
On this week's Keepin It Real, Cam has been pitched by a software company to duplicate himself. Who would want another of him? Even he questions his own worth from time to time. ----- I’ve just come from my accountant’s office where I handed all my tax information to the lady at the front desk. The manilla envelope was much lighter this year than in years past. Last week I had a long talk with an AI guy out of Houston. He said he loved to find people like me – content experts with books and videos and training programs and blogs and podcasts and such. He wants to take all content...
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Lenten Commitment
Keepin' It Real with Cam Marston
On this week's Keepin It Real, Cam realizes that he really had no choice over what he gave up for Lent - it was given to him and he's not happy about it. ----- Our new puppy continues to rule the house and my life. She was trained by the breeder to urinate on a pee pad which is exactly what it sounds like – an absorbent mat for dogs to urinate on indoors. At our house, that means the carpet. She’ll trot off the hardwood floors, pass the open back door to find the Persian rug and squat and look at me with an expression of “look how good I am!” Meanwhile the whole yard in available...
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Another Tree
Keepin' It Real with Cam Marston
On this week’s Keepin It Real, Cam wonders what the life span of a titanium knee is and whether his father might need one or two more with the way he’s going. ----- My eighty-nine-year-old father is scheduled to get a knee replacement next week. Let me say that again - he’s eighty-nine and getting a new knee and is eager to return to his very active life when the pain subsides. He’s done this once before and wants the same results. People stop me nearly every day to ask about my father. They comment on how healthy he is and how he never slows down. This is true, though I can...
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In On the Joke
Keepin' It Real with Cam Marston
In a few coastal cities in the deep south, in the weeks before Lent begins, a strange behavior begins to appear. Honorable and respectable people step into a different personalities for a short time. They do it together, and it's a heck of a good time. ----- Grown people acting like fools for a few days might very well be good for the soul. I’m not sure how large groups, primarily of men, agreeing to behave silly is therapeutic, but it is. I’ll leave it to some psychologist try to explain it. As a participant, though, I assure you, it’s good stuff. Over the top costumes, over the...
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He Claims to Know
Keepin' It Real with Cam Marston
On this week’s Keepin It Real, Cam Marston admits that from time to time when he’s on his knees at church on Sunday he asks himself what in the world he’s doing. Has he, maybe, lost his mind. ----- The Mayan god of rain was called Cha ac. When drought hit the jungles of Central America fifteen hundred years ago, Cha ac was called upon to send rain. So, the Mayans, led by their shaman, offered a child – children, actually. The archeologists who studied Bartlett Cave in Belize say they found the bones of eighteen children in one area alone, and there were many areas. None of the children...
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It's the Ritual I Crave
Keepin' It Real with Cam Marston
On this week's Keepin It Real, Cam is coming to the end of a month of no alcohol - Dry January. February begins soon, though. And Cam's wondering whether he'll continue on or not. ----- My dry January has just a couple days left. This is the third consecutive year I’ve participated in Dry January and I’ve remembered again how much I like it. Thirty nights of good sleep. I feel like I’ve lost ten or twelve pounds. My head is clear each day. The benefits are amazing. And, just like the last two years, I wonder why I don’t do this more regularly. When my wife moved to Mobile with...
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We Got a Puppy
Keepin' It Real with Cam Marston
On this week's Keepin It Real, Cam's family got a new puppy. It's been nearly ten years since they got their last dog and much of his memory of having a puppy is gone. The memories are coming back fast. ----- We got a puppy. Her name is Rosie. She’s a doodle of some sort. And while I say “we” got a puppy, truth be told, my wife got herself a puppy and the family will share it with her. My wife stalked Rosie down when the litter was one week old. It was in Hudson, Indiana and she found it through an online search using something called puppyfinder.com. Rosie came from a litter that...
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Finally, On the Fourth Day
Keepin' It Real with Cam Marston
On today's Keepin' It Real, Cam admits to packing something very strange on his recent trip. The result is an encounter he's always hoped for - it was the fulfillment of a long-held dream. ----- There is a series of episodes of the old sitcom Cheers where the character of Cliff Claven visits Florida and won’t stop talking about it when he gets back. I’m about to do the same from my wife and my short trip to Belize. Last week’s commentary was on the Mayan ruins my wife and I visited there. Today it’s my Belize hummingbird story. I love these little birds. To me, any animal that...
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Rocks On Top of Rocks
Keepin' It Real with Cam Marston
On this week's Keepin It Real, Cam and his wife went to Belize in December and visited some of the ruins that Belize is famous for. On his trip he stood atop one of the Mayan temples and realized that though it was a long time ago, maybe things haven't changed that much. ----- Just prior to the full brunt of the holidays my wife and I took a quick trip to Belize. I wanted to warm up for a few days – I’m perpetually cold – and see what is known as the broadleaf jungle. We headed inland, into the mountains towards our small hotel. As the altitude got higher, we entered something...
info_outlineSome swine content before your Thanksgiving ham.
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This is about pigs. Hogs, too. Sounders. Litters. And it’s timely since many of you, like me, accompany the Thanksgiving turkey with a ham. So, let’s have a quick chat about the magic that is pigs, hams, hogs, and other swine-related stuff.
Next week I’ll spend part of the Thanksgiving break in the woods of Clarke County, Alabama. If the weather is nice, my Thanksgiving meal will be on the porch of my father’s camp breaking bread around 1pm with my wife and kids, my brothers, their wives and kids, and my father. It’s what we do. There will be a ham there.
In the woods nearby will be hogs. Wild ones. And if I understand the story correctly, some of them are descendants of the hogs the first explorers to the Americas tossed out on islands as they came through. The explorers were preparing for return trips to Europe and put hogs on the islands knowing they’d survive because they can and will eat nearly anything and they’d multiply. When the explorers came back through on their way back home, they provisioned with some fresh pork. Some of the hogs that were left behind found their way to the continental US and the ones rooting the woods of Clark County, Alabama could be long descendants of those founding father pigs. Columbian pigs. Mayflower pigs. And I think that’s pretty cool.
But admiring wild hogs in Alabama is taboo. They’re hell on property and no farmer or landowner has anything good to say about them. They are, however, a remarkable species. They survive and they propagate regardless of their environment or circumstances. They’re a mammalian kudzo. They drop multiple litters each year of as many as ten piglets. Controlling them is nearly impossible, as any hunter or landowner or farmer can attest. As an animal, they’re full of vulnerabilities, allowing all kinds of prey to feed on them yet, they thrive.
And they’re tasty. Pork loins are delicious. I once ordered a blue cheese stuffed pork chop at K-Pauls in New Orleans and nearly fainted in bliss. I returned, and ordered it again the next night and had it many times until K-Pauls shut their hallowed doors three years ago. I used to genuflect when I went in.
And then there’s the ham that we will pull from Thanksgiving Day. Magically cut in circles. The kids love it. They fill their plates. The ham has that iridescent sheen that glimmers in the light. Exactly why ham glimmers and forms rainbows like spilled petroleum is unclear. I don’t want to know. It must be God’s will.
Later on Thanksgiving Day, after we’ve cleaned up and after I’ve curled up around my packed belly for an afternoon nap, I’ll step into the woods with a rifle, hoping to take down a distant cousin of the ham I’ve just eaten. Whose ancestor may have hitched a ride on the Niña, the Pinta, or the Santa Maria a long time ago. It’s all a bit gross and weird and magical all at the same time.
And that’s all I got to say about that.
I’m Cam Marston and I’m just trying to Keep It Real. Happy Thanksgiving.