Keepin' It Real with Cam Marston

Weekly observations on travel, work, parenting, and life as it goes on around me. Airing Fridays on Alabama Public Radio.

Happiness 03/07/2025

Happiness On today's Keeping It Real, Cam recounts his birthday week which has some unexpected surges of happiness. ----- Happiness is fleeting. It never lasts and I’m not sure it’s supposed to. It’s different than joy and contentment and pleasantness. Happiness bubbles up from an unexpected place and last such a short time. And when it arrives, it sometimes brings tears. Living in constant happiness would render us nearly helpless. It immobilizes you. Living in joy and contentment is great with, hopefully, unexpected surges of happiness from time to time that render us speechless. For my fifty-sixth birthday earlier this week, the good Lord sent me several surges of happiness. I’m old enough now, and wise enough, to know what they are when I feel them and to do my best to live in them for the moments they’re with me. To document them in my head, to let them imprint on my brain, and to know that they’ll end and to cherish their memories. The first one came when a small team of which I was a member successfully executed the opening an event. It was better, I think, than what we had expected. I looked over a large crowd who acknowledged our efforts with a celebratory cheer that lasted and lasted as some of the people we had worked to recognize where indeed recognized the way my team and I had hoped. I looked at my teammate and our grins were, well, enormous. Our celebratory hug was spontaneous, genuine, and heartfelt. Then I watched as one of my children entertained her friends from Oxford who had never seen a Mardi Gras parade or a Mardi Gras ball. They were overwhelmed. My daughter took such great pride in introducing her friends to her traditions and her roots and her friends soaked it all in. They ate it all up. They showed immense gratitude to my daughter in all the experiences they had and all the memories they received. I was happy when I saw my daughter beaming with pride. Her friends had seen and truly appreciated what she was so proud of. And then there’s the moment that brought the tears. It was a friend of my late mother’s who looked at my daughter and immediately saw her. Saw my mother. She said it was in her face and her joyfulness. I confess I had never seen it. My daughter’s only ever looked like my daughter but when I looked through my mother’s friend’s eyes, I saw it. As I stood with my mother’s friend, she began tearing up at the memory of my mother which had suddenly surged back. When I saw the tears and looked at my daughter through her eyes, I felt a surge of sadness, of ache, and, there in it all, was happiness. Happiness that my mother was so loved. My mother died three years ago on Wednesday. And for my birthday I was reminded that my mother was gone only if I let her be. I was reminded that I can keep her with me. Her memory is one I have access to. One I can control. One I can choose. And rather than feel sadness at her untimely loss, I can choose happiness that I remember her. And I did. And I felt it. I’m Cam Marston, just trying to keep it real. /episode/index/show/keepingitrealwithcammarston/id/35552220

The Ft. Lauderdale Accord 02/28/2025

The Ft. Lauderdale Accord On this week's Keepin' It Real, Cam explains the Ft Lauderdale accord and how it's telling him that it's time to move on. ----- My wife and I will be empty nesters in eighteen months. If all goes according to plan, in that time our youngest two will graduate and head to college and if looking back is anything like looking ahead, these next eighteen months will fly by. If you’re a regular listener, you know that my wife and I have four kids. We purchased this house with a family of six in mind. With only two kids left at home, it’s already a lot of space and in eighteen months it will be much larger than we need. So today, just now, in fact, a realtor left. We wanted her to tell us what buying and selling a home looks like today since we’ve not done it in nearly twenty years. What part of our house will new buyers like and how can we accent it. What parts will buyers not like and how can we shore them up. We got from her a list of ten documents we need to find that will help in the sale of the house. And we have eighteen months or so to get all this done. This all stems from my wife and I drawing up a Reverse Bucket List in a Ft Lauderdale hotel room in December. It’s an idea I got from Arthur Brooks’ book called From Strength to Strength. A bucket list is what you want to do and what you want to get that will excite you; that’ll make you happy. A Reverse Bucket List is what you want to get rid of or what you will never do again that will make you happy. At the top of my Reverse Bucket List was yardwork. It also included paying for homeowner’s insurance on rooms and bathrooms and spaces now infrequently used with two children gone. My Reverse Bucket List included clutter and stuff. My wife and I agreed to the gist of the list and we agreed we’d begin slowly working through the list. We’ve termed the list and our agreement to work through it the Ft Lauderdale Accord. Since then, we’ve reference how any decisions we need to make jibe with the Ft Lauderdale Accord. The result has been a slow-moving process of beginning to downsize, to throw stuff away, and the most recent aspect of the Ft Lauderdale Accord was today’s meeting with the realtor. In a very short amount of time, the house downsizing idea has taken hold for me. I walk through the house looking at cabinets and closets and drawers wondering what’s in ‘em and how much of it can we get rid of. Should I put a coat of paint on anything? Should suck it up and get the yard show-ready and drop sod on the places I know it will eventually die because its died four or five times already? My mind is fixed on what’s next. I’m already gone. And I’m now wondering if staying here another eighteen months is too long. Regardless, my inner knower is erasing all doubt that it’s definitely time to move on. I’m Cam Marston and I’m just trying to Keep It Real. /episode/index/show/keepingitrealwithcammarston/id/35431560

Paraty 02/21/2025

Paraty On today's Keepin It Real, Cam reports back about his most memorable event on his recent trip to Brazil. He traveled a long way to come back with this... ------ Cachaca is a Brazilian alcohol that was first made by the slaves the Portuguese brought to Brazil. It’s sugar cane based. Very sweet. And like gumbo, red beans and rice, jazz music, and the Mississippi delta blues among other things, it was what the poor people created due to a lack of resources and that the wealthy people eventually wanted. Crazy how that works so predictably. It’s like clockwork. Anyway, my wife and I were enjoying our first cocktail made of cachaca by the pool last week in a small coastal community north of Sao Paulo called Paraty. However, we struggled to enjoy the drink. And I’m certain you can relate to what happened. It’s become a meme - There was someone in an environment too small for their voice, talking too loudly. It was loud people having private conversations on the phone in small spaces. Loud Zoom calls in coffee shops. You’ve witnessed this. In our case it was a British couple lying in lounge chairs by the pool on speakerphone with their daughter talking about finding her an apartment in London. The father, to be heard, raised his voice to nearly a yell so the phone would hear him from three feet away. Well, my wife and I heard him, neighbors living next to the hotel heard him, the birds in the trees on the coast heard him, the shop owner across town, people in the next city over and the Uruguayans 1000 miles to the south also heard him. We didn’t want to, but we learned a lot about this family and their dysfunctional and helpless daughter. Our relaxing drink tasted like cachaca, lime, and disgust. Around the pool were two other couples. We met and stood talking in the pool. They were really nice. One couple had been traveling since January 1st. They were recently retired and described retirement as having three distinct phases – Go Time, Slow Time, and then, No Time. Go Time is travel. Slow Time too old to travel and now you sit around the house. No Time is travel back and forth to your final doctor appointments. They retired early to have a longer Go Time and were doing it up right. They were telling us about how they planned their extensive trips then, and I promise I’m not making this up, the British man got into the pool and began swimming laps right through middle of us three couples and another guy who had joined us. We stood there in water up to our waists in disbelief. He kicked right through us, splashing us, no more than a foot or two away as he came by. I’d never seen anything like it. Was it aggressive? Or was it just plain clueless? Anyway, the three different couples plus the one guy decided not to move. And he kept swimming. We’d pause our chat as he swam through. It’s sad that after traveling about 18 hours to get to a place way off my radar and another 18 hours to get back home, the only story I have from my trip is about a British man in our pool. Which makes me want to drink lots of cachaca. I’m Cam Marston and I’m just trying to Keep It Real. /episode/index/show/keepingitrealwithcammarston/id/35339460

Procrastinating Like a Champion 02/07/2025

Procrastinating Like a Champion Today on Keepin' It Real, Cam looses focus and finds his mind wandering about an upcoming trip instead of focusing on what need to be done. ----- My day today will be spent studying Brazilian demographics. And I know what you’re thinking: How did I get so lucky? I mean, come on, most of us have to work but you get to spend your day studying Brazilian demographics. How is that fair? Friday, my wife and I leave for a week in Brazil. I’ve been invited to speak at a conference next week in Sao Paulo. These types of invitations are rare for me. While at a conference in November, a young man approached me and said, “Can you do that same speech in February in Brazil?” “Sure,” I said. “No problem. Easy.” Well, it’s not easy. Which leads me to today, carefully studying and incorporating the Brazilian data to replace my US data that I used in November. Much of the data is very similar. Young women are outperforming young men in education. Women are having first babies older and having babies into older age. People are getting married at older ages. Household sizes are falling. Life-spans are increasing, meaning Brazilians will be in retirement longer. There are worrying trends in whether the Brazilian federal system will be able to support retirees long-term, much like there are new rumblings here about whether our social security system will be able to fund payments in the future. All familiar stuff. Up until recently, I would have said their political climate was very volatile with their in and out of favor populist president Jair Bolsonaro but, his ascendance and the turmoil it created looks very similar to what we’re seeing here. Even his presidential portrait is of him in some combination of a scowl and a frown, much like Trump’s presidential portrait that was released a few weeks ago. My comments will be translated into Portuguese as I speak, meaning I need to go slow so the translators can keep up. I find it difficult to pace myself like this. My words will need to be carefully chosen. When normally I can explain something well-enough with a paragraph, I need to now do it in a sentence. Writing these commentaries each week have helped me as a speaker – writing has taught me to be more precise in speaking. And as much as I’m excited to work with my Brazilian client, my wife and I are leaving for Brazil early to enjoy a short trip to a seaside community that will include a drive to a bunch of waterfalls and a tour of the coastline by water. Beaches, waterfalls, plus a trip a distillery that makes something like rum but is not rum. And, truth be told, I’ve spent more time looking into the waterfalls, the coastline, and rum but not rum than I have looking into Brazilian demographics. Focused preparation has been a problem. I’m even looking repeatedly at the weather forecasts for the seaside community – all poor uses of time considering the prep work that is still needed. I’m a champion at finding things to do that are not urgent and finding ways to justify doing them. Like this commentary. And, with that truth-bomb announced, I will now put this away and get back to Brazilian demographics. I’m Cam Marston and I’m just trying to keep it real. /episode/index/show/keepingitrealwithcammarston/id/35166640

Unconditional Positive Regard 01/31/2025

Unconditional Positive Regard On this week's Keepin It Real, Cam reacts to a text from a friend about the hopelessness she feels today as a result of the new presidential administration. There are two sides to this, Cam says. And the healing must begin within. But it won't be easy. ----- There are those of you listening right now filled with anxiety and rage. You can’t believe our nation is full of people who care so little for truth, honesty, and compassion. You can’t believe that you know people, lots of people, who are willing to abandon truth, honesty, and compassion to win. This is not how you were taught to live as a child. These are not the lessons of Aesop’s fables. There is nothing in the New Testament that says this is Ok. However, there are others of you out there equally mystified. “How can you not want this?” you’re asking. How can you not see that our future, both each of us individually and as a nation, will be better? We’re returning to dominance. We’re getting rid of the cheaters and the thieves who have slipped in and are stealing opportunity from you and me. We’re making them pay. We’re righting wrongs. This is what this nation is about. This is who we are. We’ve strayed and we’re now, finally, returning to who we should be. How can you not see this? No argument from either of you will win. No data will convince either of you of anything. No clever wording. No quoting the constitution. No biblical chapter or verse. Deadlocked. Both sides deadlocked. Anxiety and rage. Both sides. Dr Carl Rogers was an American Psychologist who, in 1982, was listed as the most influential psychotherapist in history. Of his many accomplishments, there is one practice of his that I’m using – well, that I’m trying to use – in my interactions with others. It’s called Unconditional Positive Regard. It’s a framework for listening and helping even with those whose opinions are diametrically opposite our own. It’s a learned discipline and it’s not easy. Unconditional Positive Regard assumes that this person in front of each of us has worth, this person in front of us can grow, they can change, they’re eager to learn, they’re curious, they are a person of value. Unconditional Positive Regard. You can see how this powerful outlook can benefit a therapist in their interactions with patients. You can see how someone hoping to pull the best out of another person, who still has hope for the other person, could and perhaps SHOULD engage them with a mindset of unconditional positive regard. It's hard, though. It’s very hard. Especially when what some of you have seen of others brings this quote to mind: “When you worship power, compassion and mercy will look like sins.” To many of you that’s what it looks like out there today. It’s obvious to say, but compassion is not a sin. Mercy is not a sin. None of us should ever hold back on either. And perhaps for all of you listening right now filled with anxiety and rage, holding each other in unconditional positive regard might be step one in healing…ourselves. I’m Cam Marston, just trying to keep it real. /episode/index/show/keepingitrealwithcammarston/id/35070680

Snow Day 01/24/2025

Snow Day Tuesday, Cam watched as a 130 year old weather record was shattered. He took it all in, savoring it as best as he could. ----- It’s strange looking out there right now. Maybe even eerie. I keep looking again to make sure my eyes aren’t fooling me. The top of the neighbor’s magnolia tree is getting small touches of early sunlight and those big, deep green leaves are holding snow. It’s beautiful. And I can’t stop turning to look again and again. How could this week’s commentary be about anything but the weather? So often the meteorologists in my part of the world hype of the incoming storm that turns out to be a big nothing-burger. I panic and put the family in the duck-and-cover position in the bathtub and nothing ends up happening. “Abundance of caution” they always say. This storm they got right. In fact, one of the TV weathermen kept saying the storm “outperformed” – that it did more than they predicted which is opposite of what usually happens. Mobile, Alabama officially received seven and a half inches of snow yesterday. What in many parts of the world would equate to a “so, what?” moment was a record-breaking snowfall, breaking a 130-year-old record. Yesterday I tended to the fire and kept turning to look outside. I had two client Zoom calls and both interrupted to ask if that was rain outside the window behind me. “No,” I said, “It’s snow. And we here in Mobile, Alabama hardly know how to behave.” And we don’t. The roads were largely empty. It reminded me of the teeth of the pandemic when we all stayed home for days. My wife and I finally went outside late in the afternoon and walked down the middle of the busy street not far from our house. Our dog stepped outside and immediately turned around and dove back under the couch – she would have none of the snow. And the birdfeeder seemed extra active as little birds who live comfortably in our warm sub-tropical climate had to keep eating more and more to fuel themselves and stay warm. I learned that being snowed-in lends itself to grazing all day long. Just a little snack here and there and then here again and maybe a little bit more of this and just one more bite of that. I had to make myself stop. And the temptation to open a thick, bold bottle of red wine was overwhelming. Had I made eye contact with a bottle of red-wine I would have caved, but I maintained my Dry January discipline and had a couple of NA beers, instead. I’ve read recently about savoring. Savoring is wanting to know something. To experience it. There is no time pressure to savoring. No pressure for more. No greed. Savoring is an attitude of spirit. It’s a life of spirit. And it’s the opposite of craving, which is an attitude of greed, control and sensation. Yesterday’s snowfall and this morning’s sunrise is an experience I’ll savor. I’ll likely never see anything like this again here on the upper lip of the Gulf Coast. I’ll stay sitting here in my coffee chair and taking it in, as the magnolia tree is mottled with brilliant white and deep green and is now ablaze in the sun. I’m Cam Marston and I’m just trying to Keep it Real. /episode/index/show/keepingitrealwithcammarston/id/34964190

Retro Learning 01/17/2025

Retro Learning On this week's Keepin' it Real, Cam Marston's new effort has been a year in the making and it's finally ready. It's learning delivered the way it used to be and he's very excited for it. ----- Here’s a story for you: An old man lowered his clay jug every day at the well. He did it by hand with the jug attached to a rope. He was very careful to not let the jug bump the edge of the well which was made of stone or else the jug may break. A young man saw all this and proposed a wheel built over the center of the well with a rope that would lower the jug straight down every time. It would be easier and faster. All he had to do was crank the wheel up and down. The old man listened to the young man’s idea and said, “No, thank you. Without the work of lowering and raising the jug, I’m not sure the water would taste as good.” Over one year ago I begin surveying clients and colleagues and having lunches and Zoom meetings with them to discuss a new two and half day workshop I was developing on communication skills. Their reply was unanimous: these skills a desperately needed in our workplace. I asked a lot of questions, have written, rewritten and rewritten the course over and over again and the program launched this past Wednesday. Could the program be delivered remotely? Yes. Could it be pre-recorded and done online at the leisure of the participant? Yes, I think so. Could it be shorted to one day? Or maybe half a day? After all, people are busy. Probably. But none of that’s going to happen. There is a saying in the addict recovery world: What do you do when the very thing that is destroying you is what gets you through the day. For the addict it is drugs. For many of us today, though, it’s urgency. It’s more and more. It’s busyness. Its Fear of Missing Out. It’s the dopamine hit of the flashing or buzzing phone. And I’m as guilty of it as the next guy. So in an effort to make a difference with the people who began with me Wednesday, I’ve created a program that slows the pace of learning. It’s not cramming. It’s learning. It’s savoring new knowledge. It’s dialogue, discussion, eye-contact, and thoughtful progression through learning and relearning skills that, per my colleagues, are desperately needed in their workplace. No PowerPoint. No Audio or Video. Instead it will be flip charts, instruction, dialogue, and practice. Even pencils and not pens. It’s the hard, slow, deliberate work that creates results and will lead to a more fulfilling and successful workplace for my participants. It’s in a sense, retro learning the way it used to be done back in the day before all these tools we’ve created made things, what, quicker, better, easier? Maybe all of those but what I’ve created will be – memorable and transformational. To many of my participants, what’s old will be new again. It’s been a year in the making. And we could get to end of the program much quicker than two-and-a-half days but, like the old man lowering the jug by hand every day, the water simply wouldn’t taste as good. I’m Cam Marston and I’m just trying to Keep It Real. /episode/index/show/keepingitrealwithcammarston/id/34857345

Truth 01/10/2025

Truth On this week's Keepin It Real, Cam has found infinite inspiration for commentaries for years and years to come. ----- I sat quietly this morning and was ready to admit it’s time to quit Keepin’ It Real. I’ve lost my creativity. My energy around writing insightful and truthful things about the world around me was gone. Seven – maybe eight! – years is a pretty good run. Maybe close to 350 or more original pieces – I should be proud of my work and unashamed to put these commentaries to bed. But then… Scrolling through today’s headlines, I spotted a lifeline. Something that will allow me countless weeks of effortless content. It was hard to believe it was true, but… there it was. Mark Zuckerberg was turning off the fact checking on his social media platforms. No longer would Facebook and Instagram work to fact-check people’s posts. They’d let the community of users do it, instead. The article went on to say it was his way of genuflecting to the Cheeto Jesus – our upcoming, return of the king, Commander in Chief. Trump dislikes facts and accuracy so Zuckerberg, to curry favor with him, was ending any reliance on it in his giant megaphone of social media. Wow. If the age of Enlightenment wasn’t already dead, it is dead dead dead now. I’ve always been a fan of the expression “never let the truth get in the way of a good story” and I embrace a good, exaggerated story whether it be my own or someone else. However, today the expression is “never let the truth get in the way of anything.” And what a giant hall pass this offers me in these commentaries. Why tell the truth when our highest elected official avoids it, and his minions support it. So, with that, I’m redoing my biography. You may know me as a commentator for Alabama Public radio who lives in Mobile married with four teenaged children. That was who I was during the days when truth mattered. Now I’m a world-famous commentator who offers sage wisdom and insight and has been feted by the Nobel Prize committees and has turned down Pulitzer Prizes because they weren’t prestigious enough. Sounds good. My four children are the best kids in any environment they ever enter – academics, athletics, needlepoint – you name it they’re the best out of everyone. My previous work was as an astronaut, but it bored me, a lion tamer but the smell of the lions got to me, and, of course out of tribute to George Costanza, I am both an architect and a marine biologist. I’ve built a woodshed once and tossed a fish back into the Gulf, which in this era of non-truth, is sufficient enough to give myself those titles, regardless of what anyone says because those people are jealous liars who are out to get me. My resume and my CV will change by this afternoon and will include the words Adonis, Guggenheim, and National Book Award. I’ll call the bank and tell them the balance I see online isn’t correct, my truth says it is much higher, and they better change it or I’ll sue because the bank has a personal vendetta against me. And my truth says that it’s not the Gulf of Mexico nor the Gulf of America. It’s the Gulf of Cam. It, in fact, has always been. Tell me it's not true. I dare you. I’m Cam Marston and I’m just tyring to Keep it Real. /episode/index/show/keepingitrealwithcammarston/id/34774930

Liminal 12/27/2024

Liminal On Keepin It Real this week, Cam Marston makes some observations on this odd stretch of the calendar between Christmas and New Years. ----- This is a strange time of year every year. Kinda a liminal space between two big holidays. My instinct says I need to be working but the buzz of my email – a reflection of how busy my work world is – is so quiet. It’s hard to get anyone to make decisions right now. Beginning around December 18th, we enter the “let’s circle back on this next year” stretch of the calendar. We go from opening small talk with “So, are you ready for Christmas?” to ending it with “Let’s circle back next year.” I’m as guilty of it as the next guy. My father turns eighty-eight today. He’s turned his pickle-ball crowd onto these commentaries. So, to those of you playing pickleball today at the Via Health Center on Dauphin Street in Mobile, wish my father a Happy Birthday. He will probably try to waive you off, but I know he’ll be flattered to hear from you. One of the most remarkable things in my world today is the activity of my eight-eight-year-old father. He plays pickleball at least four days a week. He’s made a whole new friend group there. Last year they convinced him to get a bike, and when they don’t play pickleball, they’ll often gather downtown and ride together for a few hours, staying away from the hills, and stopping some place for lunch or a beer. Many of them are twenty years younger than my father. They like him. They call to check in on him. They invite him to join them when they schedule things. It’s wonderful for him and it’s wonderful for my brothers and me to know that since my mother’s passing a few years ago, my father has found an outlet. I saw recently that one of the primary ways to determine how long you’ll live is your measure of activity. Said another way, you don’t get old and stop moving, you get old when you stop moving. Dad’s still moving. He can still split firewood with an axe, still keep up with the youngsters on his bike, and still play pickleball several times a week. My daughter calls him to play when she’s home from college and they make a morning of it together at the Via Health Center. Right around the corner on the calendar is Twelfth Night, known more commonly as the Feast of the Epiphany. The traditional date is January 6th and it’s the official start of Mardi Gras down here on the coast. King Cakes begin appearing in bakeries, beads start showing up. Notable and respectable people forgive each other and are forgiven for acting like fools with the culmination being Mardi Gras day which, this year, is March 4th, and, as luck has it, is also my birthday. In years past when my birthday coincides with Mardi Gras Day, I’ve created quite a spectacle of myself. Those days are over though I will enjoy Mardi Gras day a little more this year because it’s my birthday and I will enjoy my birthday a little bit more because it’s Mardi Gras.. Enjoy this odd liminal time on the calendar. Soon enough the grind will start again, and these commentaries will return – hopefully – to meaningful and thoughtful content. I’m Cam Marston just Trying to Keep it Real. /episode/index/show/keepingitrealwithcammarston/id/34532310

Russians 12/20/2024

Russians On Keepin' it Real this week, Cam takes us back to 1988 when he and his team lined up to upset the world order in an all out international rowing competition. It was one for the record books. ----- It was the spring of 1989 in Augusta, Georgia. I was a member of the Tulane University Rowing team and we were there to train for Spring Break. Crew teams from across the south and many of the elite crew teams from the northeast came to Augusta and this perfect stretch of the Savannah River to train during the week and race at the end of the week. A call went out that the organizers were throwing together an unscheduled race at the end of race day. It was open to the first crews who could respond and would feature a race that none of us ever would ever forget. Tulane scrambled to field a crew. I made it lineup, and sat in seat number six, a port-side rower. As our boat was backing down into the starting position I looked to my right. It was the Russian national team. They were in the US to train. We’d seem them practicing – their boat moved effortlessly and screamed down the river. Their powerful strokes appeared to make gaping holes in the water. We’d had sights of them on land and they were all about six feet four and 220 pounds. Cold, solid, hard looking. The Cold War was still on, and since birth, we’d been taught that these people were our enemy. To our left, in a boat on our starboard side, sat the British national team. They, too, were in Augusta to take advantage of the training. Beating the Brits would have been fine, but it was the Russians we wanted. The other five boats in the race were the elite Ivy crews. And there sat Tulane about to disrupt the rowing establishment and make the name for ourselves that we felt we deserved. The starter worked to align the boats, backing some down, pushing some forward until all eight bows were aligned. It was quiet as these commands rang out. Sixty-four rowers sat with backs perfectly straight, leaning slightly forward, oar blades completely submerged, hands tight on the handle, looking forward, steely-eyed, waiting for the start, breathing. The starter finally had alignment and it happened fast. We heard, “Rowers sit ready. Ready! Row!” and we dug in for the first stroke. We were tied with the Russians for maybe one one-hundredth of a second. By the time we had completed ten strokes they were half a boat length ahead. In another ten strokes we could no longer see them. All we saw was their fading puddles where their oars had torn holes in the water. Within twenty seconds our hopes for upending the world rowing order had vanished. It happened fast. And we weren’t really upset at the outcome. Heck, we had just raced the Russians. How many of our rowing peers could claim anything like that? We were a club team, after all, not even varsity. But we did it. We tried. We tossed our hat in the ring and tried to give those commies a good whippin.’ So here’s to you and me throwing our hat into the ring for something for which we know we are completely outgunned in the new year. And doing it anyway. We got shellacked but, heck, I’ve been telling this story for thirty-six years. It was well worth it. I’m Cam Marston and I’m just trying to Keep it Real. /episode/index/show/keepingitrealwithcammarston/id/34475415

Top Hat 12/14/2024

Top Hat On this week's Keepin It Real, Cam Marston has just returned from a few days in Fort Lauderdale. It's a different world down there, Cam says. One that he might have envied at one point in his life. ------ My wife and I returned from Ft Lauderdale Saturday. We were there for a corporate event where I was giving a speech. My client generously offered an extra couple of nights in the host hotel and our room was on the 26thfloor overlooking the Atlantic Ocean. I watched the sun rise each morning as I sipped coffee and read. It began as a faint glow on the horizon to a disk coming out of the water. It was nice. My wife and I haven’t had a chance to do things like that recently. Now that the kids are older, we’re trying to take advantage of them. As we left to go on our trip, we told our kids to please not let us find the house in ashes when we returned. We felt that was reasonable. And it was in pretty good shape when we got home Saturday. South Florida is quite different from South Alabama or, I suspect, most of Alabama. And I guess saying that is simply acknowledging the obvious. I counted five or six different Ferraris which I rarely see around here. I think they’re beautiful. There were lots of Bentleys. There was lots of jewelry on everyone. Lots of senior citizens on the boardwalk late in the afternoon walking together, riding bikes, sitting and visiting. Lot of accents. Lots of people speaking Spanish, and what I think was Russian. Guitar players up and down the boardwalk, busking and playing music they hoped would catch the senior’s attention. My hope for my wife and my trip was to create not a bucket list for the two of us, but a reverse bucket list. Not a list the things we wanted or wanted to do. I wanted us to create list of the things we could do away with. What we could do to simplify. I’ve said it many times to my wife and kids – we could probably get rid of half of the things we’ve accumulated over the nearly twenty years in this house and never miss them. If you’ve lived in the same place for a while, you can probably relate. How and why did we get this stuff in the first place. And why do I have such a hard time getting rid of it. I look at all those things those people in South Florida had, especially the beautiful cars, the jewelry, the magnificent beachfront homes and thought “Wow. That’s beautiful. I’m glad I don’t want it.” And that’s a 180 degree shift and about face from the way I once was – I wanted the stuff, the houses and the cars. Today what excites me is getting rid of the stuff I have. And m y wife is kinda there, too. It’s a part of our journey together of what we want for ourselves from here on out. And what we want will change. Likely many times. Ironically, though, as I say this my wife and kids have asked for my Christmas list – more things I want which includes, partly to my shame, a top hat. Do I need a top hat? No. Do I want a top hat? Yes. In a few years will I wonder why I have it and why I struggle to give it away? Absolutely. I think maybe I’ve identified the problem. I’m Cam Marston and I’m just trying to Keep It Real. /episode/index/show/keepingitrealwithcammarston/id/34443530

Regrets 12/06/2024

Regrets On this week’s Keepin It Real, Cam hopes you have no regrets from Thanksgiving. And if you do, that you learn from them. ----- Well, how’d it go yesterday? Any family flare ups? Any thoughts you wish you’d kept to yourself? Thanksgiving gatherings are famous for finding people’s boiling points and the election having been just a few weeks ago, some are still gloating and others still licking their wounds. Any regrets from yesterday? I heard Dan Pink speak last week at a conference in San Francisco. He’s a New York Times best-selling author and his most recent book is called The Power of Regret. I was invited to go backstage to meet him and he told me how he gathered data for the book. He personally read over 60,000 people’s regrets. He solicited them from across the world and people enthusiastically responded. It was almost a catharsis for many respondents, he said. Like people wanted to get their regrets off their chest. He had to cut off submissions he had so many. Regrets tend to come in four categories, he said in his keynote speech. They’re either Foundation Regrets – where you’re sorry you didn’t do something long ago that would have changed your today – started saving money, read more, gone after the degree, or had a bad feeling about who you were marrying but decided to overlook it. Then there’s Boldness Regret – when you played it safe instead of taking a chance or times when you look back and wish you had spoken up about something. There’s Moral Regrets – You did the wrong thing and it haunts you, something that was very much out of your character. He told the story of a woman who, when she was nine, remembers bullying a girl on the school bus and that behavior has eaten her up ever since. And finally, there are Connection Regrets – when you should have reached out and, instead, let a relationship wither. Whenever you ask yourself “should I call? Should I visit? Should I send a note” the answer, Pink says, is always yes. Pink also showed a slide that shows that regrets increase over time – the more time goes by, the more the regrets of our past haunt us. And our regrets of today sting worse when we make a poor decision right now. “I should have known I was going to regret this,” we say, kicking ourselves. That, Pink says, is our own wisdom, earned over years, trying to exert itself, but we ignore it. So, any regrets from yesterday? Anyone important to you storm off in a huff? Or maybe, did you? Apologies always matter. They make you feel better when you apologize and genuinely accepting apologies is part of God’s magic for relationships. My regrets? Well, I certainly regret the second helping at yesterday’s Thanksgiving meal. I regret the third helping worse. More seriously, I regret losing my temper a few times as a young father. Regardless of whether any of my kids remember it, I can’t forget it. I did the wrong thing and it haunts me. Since my stroke about eighteen months ago, though, I keep regrets in mind. I want to learn from the ones I have and prevent any more. Something to think about as I fix a turkey sandwich for lunch today. I’m Cam Marston, just trying to Keep it Real. /episode/index/show/keepingitrealwithcammarston/id/34246370

'Tis The Season 12/02/2024

'Tis The Season On this week's Keepin It Real, Cam Marston wants you to know he's NOT A CYNIC. But there are things this time of year that just kinda get to him... ----- ‘Tis the season for pensive and sappy messages. I’m so sorry but it’s true. They’re appearing in TV commercials, in client and vendor emails. Letters received in the mail about the joys of the season and now’s the time to be grateful and all that. I hate being a cynic, but it all appears to be virtue signaling to me. The people I know sending these messages are savage businesspeople and it’s like times running out and they’re throwing a Hail Mary pass to make Santa’s good list. Maybe these people really are kind and generous and are thankful for their bountiful blessings, and the season is a gift meant for a deeper understanding of the commonalities of mankind and that the cockles of their heart swell with the love of the joy of the togetherness of their fellow man and the brotherhood of the love of the oneness of all of us…and all that. I can’t help but roll my eyes. I seriously doubt many of these people have heart cockles. I question whether some of them even have hearts. But man, this time of year, people eat this stuff up. My father and I watched a lady on the local news early Sunday morning deliver such a message. Her message was about enjoying the season by simplifying it to the essentials. It’s a similar message that we all hear over this time of year. I was unmoved. My dad, though, was over the moon about it. He thought it was great. He repeated the message aloud several times, full of energy. Dad, I wanted to say, you hear this same message over and over again every year. There’s nothing new here. Instead, I kept quiet. The message made him feel good and I guess that matters for something. ‘Tis season for extras, though. Whoever you are, you can justify something a little bit extra this time of year. “It only comes around once a year, so why not just a little more?” we say. A little more to eat. An extra slice of pie or two. Maybe a whole extra pie. Fill the wine glass a little fuller than normal. Each time. An extra gift for someone and maybe an extra one for you, too. Leave the office a little early. And then a little earlier. And then earlier. Every day of the year only comes around once a year, but these are…different. These days are a part of the Christmas season which, per the displays at Lowes, begins mid-October, making the Christmas season nearly a quarter of the year. Some, like my wife and kids, have no problems with this. What does it matter, they say, if we like the decorations and they make us happy? My position is that the shorter it is, the more intense and special it is. If your default mode is that it’s nearly always Christmas, what’s so special about it? At least that’s what I say to myself, sitting all alone, while what remains of the cockles of my heart burn to cinders. I’m Cam Marston and I’m just trying to Keep it Real. /episode/index/show/keepingitrealwithcammarston/id/34246335

Cats 11/15/2024

Cats On the way home from Oxford Saturday, Cam and his family stopped at a service station which led to him thinking about what NOT to put on his Christmas list. ----- For years I had my children convinced I was allergic to cats. I told them the reason we couldn’t have a cat as a pet was that my head would explode in a fiery ball. They wanted a cat. They asked regularly and finally accepted that I was allergic. I’m not allergic to cats. I’m not sure how they found out, but the cat-pet requests are back. Frankly, I want nothing more to do with anything that requires fuel or any sort of sustenance from me to operate, be that cars, boats, cats, birds whatever. My wife and I have four kids, too many cars, one dog, and share responsibility for a boat. And I’m weary of giving birth to, parenting, raising, collecting or owning creatures or things that need me. Buckatuna, Mississippi is a nice stopping point between Oxford, Mississippi and Mobile. We stopped there coming home this past Sunday. We had five people in the car, and it was time for a fluid adjustment in some way for all of us. The ladies in the car needed a bathroom, and I needed something cold to drink to keep me awake for the final stretch of road and the boys just needed to walk around. There at the door of the service station sat a cat. We noticed another and then another. My wife and kids went toward them using their kitten voices. There were a lot of them. Another car stopped and the driver got out, watching my wife and kids. “I want all of them,” my wife said. She is now the pro-pet cat camp. “All you gotta do is catch one,” the driver said, “But, be careful what you wish for. My daughter,” he told us, “came home with one and said ‘I rescued a cat!’ Well, I said, that’s your cat. You have to figure out how to feed it. Then she came home two months later with another. Two months after that, we suddenly had nine cats and my daughter was struggling to feed them all. Then one day I came home and there was a dead snake on my porch with its head gone. I found out that cats help clean up vermin in the yard. Rats, mice, and even snakes. They bite snake’s heads of and bring the body home as a gift. So now,” he said, “I’m feeding those cats.” “So,” he said again, “be careful what you wish for.” The holidays are on the horizon. Kids making lists for themselves. You, perhaps, making lists for your kids. I’ve begun the tradition of making lists, making copies, and leaving them in places around the house where I know they will be found. Toilet seats. Front seats of cars. I’ve even put them in cereal boxes. No one can claim they don’t know what to get me. Cats are not on the list. Neither are dogs or anything alive or inanimate needing food or fuel. As a child we had a pet rabbit that ate through the power cord of the deep freeze. It wasn’t until all the food was spoiled that we realized it. Anyway, just like cats and that rabbit now’s the time of year to be careful what you wish for. I’m Cam Marston and I’m just Keepin’ It Real. /episode/index/show/keepingitrealwithcammarston/id/33898312

Owls 10/25/2024

Owls On this week's Keepin It Real, Cam tells us about some early morning attacks that are happening in his part of town. You'd be surprised at who is doing the attacking. ----- On the top of the Tangles Hair Salon on Bit and Spur Road in Mobile sits a hat and a headlamp with its light on. The headlamp is the type that an early morning jogger wears before the sun comes up. How it got up there is a heck of a story. Dennison Crocker jogs before daylight nearly every morning. His headlamp lights the way. One dark morning near Bit and Spur Road, a giant thunk, thud, and whoosh caught Dennison off guard, and his hat and the light were gone. Something had hit him in the back of the head. His light was flying away and stopped on the roof of Tangles. The culprit: an owl. Likely a barred owl. They’re the ones known to attack. But that was just the beginning. Weeks later he was jogging not far from the same spot when the owl hit him again. He was in the middle of the road and, bang. Dennison started swatting wildly in the air. Just then a car stopped and asked if he were ok – Dennison was, after all, wildly swinging his arms around in the air in the middle of the road before daylight early one weekday morning. He told the driver about the owl. The driver looked concerned for Dennison’s mental well-being and slowly drove away and, just then, the owl hit him again. The driver reversed back, seeing Dennison wildly swinging his arms again and offered to get him outta there. Dennison dove in and went straight home. The owl has become quite a star around here. My new best friend, ChatGPT, says the owl is either protecting its nest or it thinks Dennison is poaching on its hunting ground. It’s probably the latter since it’s a bit early yet for owls to be nesting. So Dennison, per the owl, looks like a food supply threat. And, well, maybe he kinda does. Dennison’s a big solid guy and I’m guessing he’d need a lot of squirrels to fill up, leaving fewer for his owl friend. The owl is rightly concerned Dennison taking more than his share. I learned about all this at my regular Thursday beer drinking session with my homies and it was Jay Stubbs who told Dennison’s story only because Jay told us HE has been attacked, too. Jay is an early morning walker and not far from Tangles where Dennison’s hat sits, Jay got hit by what he says felt like a broom over the back of his head. His hat flew off and all he saw was wings. Jay, too, looks like a food supply threat. Jay could pack in some squirrels. Oddly, I’m on team owl. I don’t want anyone to get hurt, I don’t wany eyes gouged out, but I like it that in our terribly predictable world, we have to worry about an owl attacking. It makes me chuckle. Getting attacked by an owI is something you could never have predicted sitting on your couch New Year’s Day, making guesses about your upcoming year. It’s a wonderfully refreshing story of life’s randomness and unpredictability. What’s the moral? It’s simply this – it’s against the normal order of nature for people to exercise before daylight. Even the owls know this. I’m Cam Marston and I’m just trying to Keep It Real. /episode/index/show/keepingitrealwithcammarston/id/33611277

Can I Transfer? 10/18/2024

Can I Transfer? On this week's Keepin' It Real, Cam recalls a time when he was very much out of his element and was slightly afraid for his life. ----- About midway through the fourth quarter of Alabama’s loss to Vanderbilt, my son, who is a student at the University, sent me a text. It read, “Can I transfer?” I laughed. As a Tulane student we were fond of saying that on Saturdays in the fall, the New Orleans Superdome hosted a cocktail party for students to mix and mingle in the stands. Occasionally we would look up and notice that a football game was going on in front of us, but we never let it distract us. Then one weekend I visited friends in Tuscaloosa. Saturday morning, I asked about plans for the night. “It depends,” was the answer. “On what?” I asked. “Whether we win or lose tonight.” “You mean the football game?” “Of course!” they said. “Well,” I suggested, “let’s assume we’re going to lose and make some fun plans anyway. That’s the way we do it at Tulane. And if we win, it’s a wonderful surprise.” There was quiet look of incomprehension. Of disbelief. “I recognize your words,” their faces showed, “but I don’t understand what you’re saying.” I realized that I stood in a dangerous culture unfamiliar to me, and I’d best button my lip unless I said something that might bring me harm. Like standing with uncivilized tribe in the Amazon jungle where you don’t know the rules and a foolish move may cost you your life. My son’s text brought that memory back. Monday, I spoke with a friend who was in Nashville during the Vanderbilt game. He watched from a balcony on Broadway as the goal posts made their way down the street. The students were very well heeled. Lifting the goals posts over the cars and apologizing if their impromptu parade was inconveniencing drivers. Very kind. Very nice. Bear Bryant’s advice on what to do when you’re in the endzone – act like you’ve been there before – was lost on them. By-standers watched in delight and awe, like spotting Halley’s comet, returning after making its long loop around the sun. It was a lifetime event. He said even the police were in on it, blocking traffic and making way. I have a friend who’s quit smoking except for the second half of Alabama games. He watches through the window, one cigarette after the other. Another who only watches alone in his small home office where he can’t be disturbed, and no one can be offended by his cursing. I have some who make everyone stand up and change places when something goes wrong on the field. As if new seats in the room will bring better luck. Saturday I’ll be watching the Alabama Tennessee game with my father, my two brothers, my son and some nephews at a work weekend at my father’s camp in Clark County. I am a Tide fan, after all. But there will be no strange hocus pocus from us. Just my lucky Bama hat, my favorite Bama shirt, and my lucky Bama sock – just one sock. I tried wearing them both again during the Vanderbilt game. It’s my fault they lost. I’m sorry. I took the bad one off and burned it. Roll Tide, ya’ll. /episode/index/show/keepingitrealwithcammarston/id/33500677

FBI 10/11/2024

FBI On this week's Keepin It Real, Cam Marston tells us about a bomb maker he met who sends the bombs he makes to his friends. Oddly enough, you and I should be happy he's doing it. ----- There’s a man on the outskirts of Mobile who spends a good part of his days making bombs. He uses items he finds around town and buys from retail stores. He then sends his bombs to his buddies to see if they can disarm them. It’s a game and, believe me, it’s a game you and I should be grateful they’re playing. I’m participating in a seven-week course called the FBI Citizens Academy. For two hours each week about twenty of use hear how the FBI works, and we meet their agents. Last night we met the bomb guy. He stays sharp by creating bombs that he may encounter made by the bad guys. He tries to get in their heads by making bombs out the same materials they would. The bombs out there, he says, are getting more sophisticated as the items available to the public are getting more sophisticated. He mentioned light sensitive triggers, much like the light sensors on my flood lights that toggle their nighttime settings. The closest parallel I’ve come up with is that the FBI is like a hospital emergency room. People go to the emergency room because something bad has happened. Similarly, the FBI doesn’t act because something good is happening, they react to bad threats, bad news and bad events. And, I learned last night, just like emergency rooms have busy seasons like Halloween and New Year’s Eve, the FBI gets busier around Christmas. A Christian holiday where people gather to celebrate their Christian faith is a dinner bell for some bad guys. Underground news begins percolating and rumors of attacks ramp up around the holidays. The FBI responds to all of it. Every one. And the bomb guy stands by, ready to diffuse the device, explode it safely, or worst-case scenario, examine the scene for evidence and ask witnesses many seemingly irrelevant questions including what color was the smoke – all of it helps to solve the puzzle and find the maker. You and I live mostly unaware of complexity of the work of the bad guys. We live mostly unaware of the constant activity of the FBI. It’s white-collar crime. Violent crime. Sextortion. Terrorism. And much more. Add to that the sometimes brutal criticism from the public who knows nothing about their work yet feels superior enough to criticize, including our former – and perhaps future – commander in chief. Keeping the team motivated must be difficult. They’re focused day and night on evil, malice, and destruction often without the support of the loudest voices in our communities and nation. But my takeaway is these are tough men and women who are compelled to serve. To simply serve. They’re givers in a land of takers. Every one of them. Six weeks ago, our class began with this: The bad guys want to be bad. The good guys want to be good. The bad guys work very hard every day to be bad. The good guys work very hard every day to be good. And the bad guys only need to be bad once. Before the class began, I was fond of the FBI. Six weeks later, I’m deeply grateful. I’m Cam Marston, just trying to Keep it Real. /episode/index/show/keepingitrealwithcammarston/id/33421632

Infantilized 10/02/2024

Infantilized On this week's Keeping It Real, Cam Marston reacts to a book review about society and how we're raising kids. It's not the kids fault, Cam says, it's definitely the parents. ----- The Economist magazine reviewed a book called Infantilised: How Our Culture Killed Adulthood. The author, Keith Hayward, argues that western society is keeping kids less mature than previous generations. He tells of a young lady who insisted on spelling the word hamster with a P. When corrected repeatedly, she called her mom and put her on speakerphone to tell her boss not to be so mean. That’s laughable, but I’ve heard similar things. I work with employers to help them manage, motivate, and recruit employees. I hear stories like this, though the ones usually shared with me are the extremes. Is it true we are keeping kids less mature? I think maybe we are. Life stages are transition periods leading to a new phase of life. These transitions can happen quickly, like becoming a parent, or they can be a more drawn-out process, like moving into retirement. On the other side of the life stage – once it’s complete-, the person is usually changed. Their view of the world and their values have evolved through the life-stage. I track several life stages using Census data. It clearly shows that today’s younger generations are going through the same life stages as previous generations but at much older ages. Average ages for first marriages have increased nearly year over year since 1970. Young adults living with parents has increased sharply since 2007. Average age of mother at first birth continues to climb. One explanation, per the book’s reviewer, is that youth today continue their schooling longer. Therefore, they are dependent on parents, resist getting married and resist having children until older. Maybe. It does make sense. But my research shows that since the Renaissance, in times of affluence, parents work to keep their children younger longer. Parents facilitate, as one writer calls it, Peter-Pandemonium. And I can tell you where you can go witness first-hand it if you wish – high school sports. I’ve seen parents demand more playing time for their children on the field or the court regardless of performance data. Parents lose it over a slight they feel their child received, regardless of team rules. Demanding the child not get what they’ve earned, but what the parents feel the child wants. The lengths they’ll go through, the bridges they’ll burn, the scene they’ll make is shocking. Oddly, the child seems to care the least, but the parents – wow. There’s a story told by author Michael Lewis that sums this up. It’s about his high school baseball coach who was tough on kids. The alums, now adults, wanted to buy a plaque to honor this coach who, the alums agreed, shaped them into the men they are today through discipline and tough love. At the time the alums were raising money for the plaque, this very same coach was being attacked by current parents as being too mean and too hard. The current parents demanded his resignation. The same coach. The same coaching. Diametric opposite opinions of the effects of his methods. To oversimplify it, Infantilised argues that kids today are soft. Maybe. But I promise you, they’re not nearly as soft as the parents. Just ask a high school coach. I’m Cam Marston and I’m just trying to Keep it Real. /episode/index/show/keepingitrealwithcammarston/id/33298947

Lucy At The Vet 09/27/2024

Lucy At The Vet On this week's Keepin It Real, Cam's family dog heard what he said to the vet. And she has something to say about it. ----- When I walked through the back door our dog, Lucy, looked at me as if to say “you and I have some unfinished business.” Lucy had been feeling bad. She was lethargic and had thrown up in four or five places in the house. On the rugs, of course. I got to my hands and knees to try to clean them up. It was nasty. She definitely wasn’t herself and my wife, who Lucy seems to regard as The Kind One, took her to the vet. My wife texted that afternoon saying, “Please go pick up Lucy before the vet closes today.” Nothing more. At the vet I told the lady that I’m here to pick up Lucy and I’m in a hurry to get downtown for a meeting tonight. In my experience veterinarians, as a rule, seldom operate with any sense of urgency. They’re in the warm, fluffy, cuddly business which does not lend itself to hurrying. To her credit she jumped into action and said, “that will be $800.” “I’m sorry,” I said. “Say that again.” “Eight-hundred dollars.” My expression must have concerned her. “I’ll print the receipt,” she said, “so you can see what was done.” The receipt was written in medical code. None of it made any sense to me. As if these Latin looking medical terms and abbreviations explained anything. What I did comprehend, though, was the long column of dollar figures running down the right side of the page. Then I said what makes vet offices hate people like me. “You know I can get a new dog that’s not broken for this amount.” A moment of silence then, “Yes. I know.” She didn’t roll her eyes but she may as well have. “For this amount I need to speak to my wife to make sure she’s aware of this and then speak to the vet to get an explanation of what was wrong and what we need to do. My wife is busy now and I don’t have time for the explanation today, I need to get downtown. Can you keep Lucy for the night and let my wife come get her and talk to the vet tomorrow.” “Yes,” she said, dropping her eyes. She never looked at me again. I could tell she loathed me. Shouldn’t I want to bring my dog home to comfort her? How could I leave her in a crate at the vet? Eight hundred dollars vs the comfort of having Lucy home? And the opportunity to care for her? I’m a cruel and heartless human being. I’m the bane of mankind. And that’s exactly what Lucy was thinking when I came home the next afternoon. She was still lethargic but there was anger in her eyes. “I heard your voice when you came to get me yesterday,” her look told me. “I thought I was coming home. You left me. The Kind One came and got me like I knew she would. I’ve been thinking about you. Remember those vomit spots you cleaned up the other day. They were nothing. I was just warming up.” And she was. I’m Cam Marston and I’m just trying to Keep It Real. /episode/index/show/keepingitrealwithcammarston/id/33203967

Questions 09/20/2024

Questions On this week's Keepin It Real, Cam Marston says he has a question for you. And he's curious if you have a question for him. ----- A story that lives in legend in my family is the day my mother interrupted a story about a boastful largemouth bass fisherman and my mother, in full innocence, asked “Who had the large mouth? The fish or the fisherman?” She had never heard of a largemouth bass. But, considering the context of the story, it was a legitimate question. The group fell silent and stared. Someone then explained to her about the species of fish. While the story gets repeated because of the question, my memory of the story is her reaction after getting the explanation. She began laughing at herself. At how silly her question must have sounded. At how perfectly naïve she was. I love the memory. Laughing at herself, fully confident in herself and her innocence. No need to be embarrassed. Self-composed, self-confident, and self-aware. I have inherited the questioning part of my mother. I ask a lot of questions. And I can’t exactly explain why I want to know these things other than just to know them. Do the answers make my life better? I don’t know. It certainly makes me happier to learn these things. Do I make my environment better by asking so many questions? I don’t know. Do I make the people who I ask questions of better? Yes, until a certain point. I was asked to go to the back of the line at a tour of the Biltmore House in Asheville when the tour guide said we were in room number two of the twenty plus we were scheduled to see that day and were already an hour behind schedule. My questions were to blame. Today I’m participating in an academy hosted by the FBI and one of my fellow participants said we need to stop asking questions so the agent can get on with their slides. The comments weren’t targeted at me exactly, but I was asking a lot of questions. I find incurious people boring. I’ve learned it’s the single characteristic that makes me interested or not interested in a person is are they curious about things. Plenty of people are not. Plenty of them. What they see and what they get and what they observe and what they hear is fine. No questions asked. They find me annoying that I want to know more. However, at the same time I can’t imagine going through life not wanting to know. And, unfortunately, the more I feel I know, the more questions I ask. Further, I’ve never been reprimanded for asking a bad question. For too many questions, yes. For a bad question, no. People seem to like being asked. I recently finished a great biography of Leonardo da Vinci. He was famous amongst his contemporaries for his insatiable curiously and many of his questions lead to breakthroughs in his artwork and his inventions. One note he made to himself was to learn about the tongue of woodpeckers. Such a seemingly random thought. But a question to which he wanted answer. I think I would have liked him. I’d love to have sat with him. And asked some questions. I’m Cam Marston and I’m just trying to Keep It Real. /episode/index/show/keepingitrealwithcammarston/id/33128807

Waxed 09/13/2024

Waxed On Keeping It Real this week, Cam reacts to Tuesday's presidential debate and shares something he's learned about himself in the recent years. ----- Trump got waxed Tuesday night. Wow, did he get waxed. I watched the debate not knowing what to expect but man, to me, he got crushed. Trump later proclaimed it his best debate performance ever. He was outgunned. In hindsight, he never stood a chance. The pundits downplayed his shellacking. They emphasized some of the points he made but largely overlooked how badly he performed. Fox News was doing cartwheels to find something to like about it. Now, per the stereotype of public radio listeners most of you should be pleased with the debate’s outcome. I was. I’m not much a fan of the current leader of the Democratic party but I have a very strong negative reaction to the Republican party’s leader. And his presence in the national spotlight over these many years has taught me something about myself that is increasingly becoming more and more clear. A friend says he separates Trump’s actions from his bombast and the lies and the crazy insane ramblings. My friend makes decisions based on the actions of the person, not their words. He doesn’t allow himself to be distracted by the insane ramblings. That is how, my friends said, to evaluate Trump. Ignore his words, observe his actions. I have a big problem with that. Your words are a part of your actions. In fact, your words are how you engage reality. Psychologist Dr Albert Ellis is considered one of the most preeminent psychologists to ever live, and his findings are that how we think and talk about situations influence our perceptions of reality and the emotions that follow. Words create our world. Our reality. You can’t separate them from behavior. They’re the seeds of our emotions, the seeds of our behavior. Ignoring what someone says is just stupid. Even in the book of Matthew, Jesus says, “For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” I knew a public speaker who had a brash, condescending, and overly simplistic view of selling. He offended people in his seminars as a part of his schtick. I was invited to his home as a part of a larger group and one of the friends pulled me aside and said, “He’s not really a jerk, he just acts that way.” No, he’s a jerk. If he acts like a jerk, he’s a jerk. If he’s regularly mean and cruel to people, then he’s mean and cruel. There are no asterisks or exceptions to this. In my world, in my reality, and in the study of solid psychologists, that’s not the way it works. I can’t support someone who talks about people and things and events like Trump does and think that the way he talks and the words he uses don’t matter. Observe his actions, ignore his words? I’m incapable of separating the two. It’s not in my blood to do so, it’s not in my bones and, frankly, it’s not how reality works. His words define his reality and just like my words define mine and yours do yours. And his words, to me cannot be ignored. None of ours can. None of us. And in both words and actions, Trump got waxed Tuesday night. He got waxed. I’m Cam Marston and I’m just trying to Keep it Real. /episode/index/show/keepingitrealwithcammarston/id/33012392

Gettin' Lucky 09/06/2024

Gettin' Lucky Cam's back from his one month sabbatical and creating commentaries again. This one he simply calls Gettin' Lucky. ----- Dr Suchan Shenoy is one of the regulars at Restaurant Five in Tuscaloosa on Saturday mornings. I join the regulars when I’m in town visiting my son who is a sophomore at the University. Dr Shenoy is an OBGYN at the DCH Hospital there. He and I sat together and we made some small talk. I don’t know any of the regulars well, but I enjoy their company when I’m in town. Dr Shenoy could relate to my situation. I was a new guy sitting amongst a group of old friends in their familiar place, not knowing exactly what to say or do. I don’t have any background with them and the conversation can run pretty slow and thin. Dr Shenoy mentioned that when he’s at a party or an event and the content runs thin, he brings up some things he sees around the hospital. Odd baby names. Things new parents have done. Stuff like that. Lots of people can enjoy those stories. Lots of people find them interesting. He mentioned that the maternity ward at the hospital had an unexpected surge of newborns in late July and early August. It was strange, he said, since it wasn’t a national trend or he would have heard about it. It appeared very local. DCH Hospital’s normal rate was one or two babies a week and suddenly the numbers had doubled for a few weeks. Almost out of the blue, there were babies everywhere. Very local. Very isolated. We talked about how the hospital had managed the surge well. They were all hands-on deck for a little while. The surge in babies was, frankly, good for business and they knew it wouldn’t last but, for a few weeks, everyone was in motion caring for the babies, the mothers, and dealing with the families. It was odd he said, and he couldn’t figure out what had caused it. Not content to let it go, Dr Shenoy reverted to an old equation he had learned in medical school that helped Drs back in the day estimate due dates. It’s called the Naegele Rule Calculator and it’s not much used anymore since the today’s computers are much easier to use and more accurate. However, using the Naegele Rule you can reverse the math and estimate a conception date. And the math zeroed in on November 25th. Late November last year. Thanksgiving? Not likely. They would have noticed a surge in previous years if it were Thanksgiving and it wouldn’t have been isolated to the area. Then it occurred to him. In the late afternoon of Saturday, November 25th last year, with 43 seconds left in the game, Alabama’s Jalen Milroe threw a bomb to the back left corner of the end-zone where it was caught by Isaiah Bond leading to Alabama’s extraordinary come from behind win. The surge in babies Dr Shenoy was seeing were conceived that night. As Alabama fans taunted Auburn with “who’s your daddy” well, it became clear to Dr Shenoy that lots of daddies were made that night. Apparently, lots of people, including the Crimson Tide football team, got lucky. I’m Cam Marston and I’m just trying to Keep It Real. /episode/index/show/keepingitrealwithcammarston/id/32901247

Really? 07/05/2024

Really? On this week's Keepin' it Real, Cam Marston wonders if we prefer entertainment to anything of substance. And frets over the consequences. ----- I hope everyone had a nice July Fourth holiday. On July 4th, 1776, the Declaration of Independence was officially adopted and signed. It has proven to be one of the most influential documents in world history, generating demands for independence and self-rule across the world. Eleven years later, in 1787, the US Constitution was created and was then ratified about a year later. The energy and enthusiasm and aspirations of these two documents propelled a new nation forward. They’re full of hope and ambition and the authors of the documents counted on the honor and integrity of this new nation’s leaders to fulfill what those documents stood for. The leaders, the documents, and the mood of our country at the time was hope fueled by the divine. Let’s contrast that to what we witnessed two Thursday nights ago in the Biden Trump debate. Let’s consider for a moment what’s happened to us. From uplifting prose to child-like name calling. From sage and cogent observations about human nature to incoherent ramblings. From relying on the honor and integrity of leaders to spewing gobs of lies. From working through honest and principled disagreements to an unwillingness to even shake hands. No one I know likes the candidate they’ll eventually vote for. No one I know thinks their candidate, regardless of their party, is capable or qualified. Everyone I know is voting for their guy to prevent the other guy from destroying the nation. What have we done to deserve this? It’s a serious question. What the hell have we done to deserve this? I’ve heard many people say, “Is this the best we have to pick from?” but after the debate last week, that question became “This is the best we have to pick from!”. And, I’ll say it again, everyone I know, regardless of who they will eventually vote for, is saying that about their candidate. No one likes their options. At dinner last Saturday night, a friend mused that he thinks our nation today likes entertainment more than anything that remotely feels like substance. When it comes to politics, we don’t want anyone to tell us the truth. We want to be entertained. So, we keep electing politicians that tell us what we want to hear, that entertain us. Perhaps the debate last week will initiate a turning point. Perhaps now we’ll begin talking about substantive topics. When was the last time a politician even offered an opinion on our nation’s debt or deficit? When was the last time a politician addressed our nation’s addiction to entitlement spending? A trusted economist I interviewed on my radio show last week predicted that around the year 2030, our nation will fall into an economic depression that overshadows the Great Depression of the 1930s and it will largely driven by deficit spending, national debt, and runaway entitlement spending issues we’ve known about but refuse to acknowledge. And if he’s right, and as these dark clouds gather, we sit and watch two of the nearly least capable people our nation has ever put forward feebly argue over why they should represent us as president. It’s gut-wrenching. And it’s not entertaining. Not at all. I’m Cam Marston and I’m just trying to keep it real. /episode/index/show/keepingitrealwithcammarston/id/31995892

The Roost is Full 06/28/2024

The Roost is Full The roost is full at Cam's house. And on this week's Keepin' It Real, Cam shares that it may never be this way ever again. ----- My wife and I had thought our summer would be quiet and a bit boring. Two of our four children would be living away and the other two would be at home but either working during the day, away at camp for a few weeks, or playing sports. Plans changed, though, and they’re all back home for the summer. Our house is packed. The roost is full. Our four kids are between the ages of twenty-one and seventeen and they’re all living at home until the fall when my two college aged children return to campus. In the meantime, we’re all together. Just like old times except, today, they’re all in the bodies of adults. Our Costco run Saturday morning was $700. We could easily return tomorrow for another run. The food goes fast. The refrigerator goes from full to empty in just days. And even after packing the fridge, we heard the all-too frequent complaint – “there’s nothing to eat around here.” My wife calmed herself and took my children on a food tour standing in front of the refrigerator with the door open, pointing out the $700 worth of food we had just put in there. Pointing at items and explaining how simple it was to prepare and eat the food. The trash cans are always loaded, too. Before the house was full, we’d take the trash to the outside cans a couple of times per week at most. Now it can be twice a day. The recycling is always overflowing, too, and needs to be taken outside every few days. We are running the dishwasher every night – it fills up every day whereas when previously it was run maybe once per week. The washer and dryer are in constant motion. And I spent ten hours cooking a nine-pound Boston Butt Saturday. Nine pounds of meat would usually last my house a week or so. It was nearly gone by the time dinner was over Saturday night. Oddly, though, I see my children much less than I thought. Mainly because by the time I’m up and have left for the office, they’re still in bed. And when I get home later in the afternoon, they’re gone to work or with their friends. We hear them at night, though. They each come in and knock on our bedroom door to let us know they’re home. It’s nice to have the roost full again. I wondered if it would ever happen. It’s easily conceivable that my college aged children could never have returned home ever again though my friends with older children say that is not likely to happen; like it or not, your kids are coming back, they say. But the thought of my kids not living at home anymore, I don’t know, kinda unsettles me. Makes me feel sad. Is that chapter of my life really over? I’m told I’ll miss the shoes all over the floor and the dishes in the sink someday. Maybe I will. Maybe I won’t. However, the Costco runs – I’ll definitely not miss those. I’m Cam Marston and I’m just trying to Keep it Real. /episode/index/show/keepingitrealwithcammarston/id/31899927

Am I My Brother's Dog's Keeper? 06/21/2024

Am I My Brother's Dog's Keeper? On this week's Keepin It Real, Cam is having a harder and harder time walking his dog due to his neighbor's dog that won't go away. ----- “Am I my brother’s keeper?” Cain asked this of God after his brother Abel went missing and God asked Cain, “Hey. Where’s Abel?” Cain claimed he didn’t know. Cain had killed Abel, by the way, and was trying to hide it. How about this question – “Am I my brother’s dog’s keeper?” I remember growing up in a neighborhood where everyone let their dogs run. There were few fenced in yards. No such things as invisible dog fences and fancy dog collars. The dog I got for Christmas as a teenager, a black lab we named Holly, mostly stayed in the yard, on the front porch, or by the back door. She had a small piece of left over carpet that she could sit and sleep on when she was allowed inside. It stayed next to the back door and Holly was not allowed to go anywhere else in the house. Outside she roamed a bit when she got older. She was one of many. There was Gumpy and Gidget and Daisy and Elizabeth and more all on our street. Holly was known by the neighbors and, well, tolerated, just like their dogs were by us and tolerated. Holly never caused problems – at least that’s the way I remember her. The rules have changed. Today we fence dogs in. Or we put them behind invisible dog fences with collars that give dogs a series of warning beeps when they approach their boundaries. We don’t let them outside unsupervised. We only walk them on leashes, and we pick up their droppings with special poop bags and carry their poop in our pockets before we throw it away, which shocks me. We humans have created artificial intelligence, we regularly go to and from outer space, we have created the pyramids of Giza, a flawless sculpture of David, and radars that can see underground from outer space but we regularly carry dog poop in our pockets. We’re not as advanced as we think. But I digress. So, back to the question, am I my brother’s dog’s keeper? My neighbor’s dog wanders the neighborhood. The owner says the same thing – Oh. I’m sorry. She got out again. And again. And again. And again. The windowsills in the front of my house are destroyed. My dog goes nuts when she sees the other dog in our yard. And when the other dog comes up to our window our dog barks violently and claws at the window which has destroyed our sills. Their dog gets into our curbside recycling, spreading it all over the yard. Their dog follows us when we go on walks and we have to abandon our walks for fear of their dog getting into traffic. The dog, of course, is just being a dog. It’s doing what dogs do. We’ve returned the dog to the owner many times but, I don’t know, the owner doesn’t seem to care about the hassles the dog causes. So, am I my brother’s dog’s keeper? And if yes, for how much longer? And can I put the dog’s owners in a poop bag and throw them away? I’m Cam Marston just trying to Keep It Real. /episode/index/show/keepingitrealwithcammarston/id/31801437

Bored 06/14/2024

Bored On this week's Keepin' It Real, Cam is board so he's thinking about paddling across the Pacific. Or planting a few ferns. ----- I’m bored. And that’s a problem. Somethings been nagging at me for a few weeks and I now know what it is – I’m bored. There’s little adventure in my world right now. Very little discovery. And when boredom sets in get panicky and a bit rash. Too often, I over compensate. This morning I spent way too much time on the Molokai to Oahu web page. It’s a 32 mile stand up paddleboard race from the Hawaiian island of Molokai to the island of Oahu and it takes most paddleboard participants about seven hours to complete. The participants in the videos were all much much younger than me and loaded with muscles. I saw no participants that were middle aged plus men with beer bellies. Some participants spoke of the unbelievable color of the water in the center of the Ka’iwi channel which is crossed between Molokai and Oahu. I’m guessing that’s because the water in the channel is 2300 feet deep. I think I want to do it. It’s a sure way to cure my boredom. The problem is that I don’t own a standup paddleboard and the few times I tried one I spent more time climbing back on than I did stand up paddling. I also have thalassophobia which is a deep fear of deep bodies of water. Whenever I’m in the ocean where I can’t see the bottom, I envision a giant toothy creature surging from the depths with its mouth open, headed my way. Man loses his edge when swimming in the ocean – it becomes an equal playing field between man and beast. However, training to paddle from one Hawaiian island to another would certainly resolve my boredom however crazy it sounds. A more realistic and, frankly, a sad alternative to my boredom is yardwork. I hate it that I even mention that. What else says overweight, middle aged, thinning brown haired white guy than deciding working in the yard is a cure for boredom. My wife, my son, and I planted forty autumn ferns a few weekends ago in areas where no grass has grown for the past fifteen years. I didn’t much like planting them. My mood is generally sour when working in the yard, but I’ve slowly walked by and admired our planted ferns a dozen times or more sense then. I don’t like doing yard work. I like having done yard work. Another forty ferns would solve my boredom problem but that’s so dang sad. So, I’m bored. And the ideas I’ve come up with for solving my boredom problem are either fanciful or pitiful. When I told my wife that I had figured out the cause of my melancholy and that it was boredom, she gave me an uneasy look. I’ve been here before and I usually do something stupid in times like this. And she’s right. And I’m sure I will. Will it be to paddleboard across the ocean? Or gobs of ferns? Good lord. What’s wrong with me? I’m Cam Marston and I’m just trying to Keep it Real. /episode/index/show/keepingitrealwithcammarston/id/31745752

Flourish 06/07/2024

Flourish On this week's Keepin It Real, Cam says we know we're all busy, very busy, but are we doing what it takes to flourish? ----- What does it take for a human to flourish? Such a simple question to understand but to answer, not so easy. Listening to a podcast last weekend, this question arose between the host and his guest. The guest pointed out that, in his opinion, everything being promoted as valuable in our Western society today is detrimental to human flourishing. What is being promoted, he said, actually leads to loneliness. And he might be right. So, what is being promoted out there? One immediately must turn to technology and, specifically, social media. Our consumption of social media is largely done alone. We may share things we like, but we consume 99% of our social media alone. The accumulation and broadcasting of wealth is certainly being promoted. On social media. In the types of cars next to us on the road right now. Through our posts about the clothes, the toys, the trips we take. It all serves to boost and promote our ego and egos, unchecked, always elevate and separate. Always. Egos say, “I’m better, I’m different.” I’m above you. I’m away from you. More loneliness. I could go on. So, if we want to flourish, what exactly should we want? If we want our children to flourish, what should we want for them? Unfortunately, most of us don’t know. We’re conditioned to say friends, health, meaningful and purposeful activities each day. It all sounds good. So look at you. Look at me. What are we doing to achieve this? What of our behaviors illustrate that we’re flourishing? For the vast majority of us, there’s not a lot to point to. And we have the ability to heavily influence our kids. We want our kids to flourish so, we give them cell phones. We solve their problems. We let them stay home from school. Kids today spend less time interacting with each other. Increases in anxiety and loneliness. We want them to flourish but we don’t equip them or teach them how. And adults aren’t much different. We’re busy, though. So very busy. Flourishing? No. Busy. Yes. Very busy. A small business colleague asked a simple but heretical question last night: “What’s wrong with not wanting more? What’s wrong with not wanting private equity to swoop in and buy me out because I like what I do, and I don’t want to stop? What’s wrong with not wanting a boat, a plane, a second house or whatever? What’s wrong with liking where I am? And why do I feel wrong for asking this?” There’s nothing wrong with it. But it’s counter to our culture of more and more and busier and busier. Everything needed for each of us to flourish is within our reach. Education. Art. Friends. Hobbies. Community. Do you and I have what it takes to leave the mess we’ve created so that we can flourish? I’m Cam Marston and I’m just trying to Keep it Real. /episode/index/show/keepingitrealwithcammarston/id/31620812

Breach 05/31/2024

Breach On this week's Keepin It Real, Cam Marston had a client breach a contract and he's trying to use lessons from Marcus Aurelius to keep himself from absolutely losing it. ----- I’m reading Marcus Aurelius’ book called Meditations written in about the year 175. They’re notes to himself about the thoughts he’s having and how he’s working to keep his head on straight. He’s writing to work things out. No audience in mind, just for him. Throughout his writings several themes arise. First, he’s aware of the presence of death. The topic of dying is never far. Second, he has to keep reminding himself that he can’t control the behaviors of those around him, only himself. He controls his outlook on things and his attitude. He writes this over and over again. And third, his desire to do good. Always wanting to do good. For himself, for Rome, for the gods, for his troops. He’s consumed by doing good. Struggling to temper his reactions whenever bad things come his way. He’s focused on controlling his behavior. It's been a good read. Aurelius had a number of people conspire against him while he was away on campaign. His plan was to return to Rome and forgive them. He died in route. It’s a very kind action in an era I often associate with ruthless and barbaric behavior. I’ve recently had a client break a contract. Their behavior appeared willful and intentional but in hindsight, I’m hoping it wasn’t. It is a very large multi-national company. Every person I’ve met there seemed honest and genuine and sincere until this one thing has happened. A few weeks ago, I wanted to go to my small business colleagues and yell at the top of my lungs “Be careful. They’re not who they say they are. Don’t let the charm fool you. Be very, very careful.” Now, not so much. My anger has diminished. I need to remedy the contract. I need to correct what’s happened. But goodness knows mounting a legal dispute would drain my small business. I’d go broke trying. Them? Hardly a blip on their radar. So, how to proceed? What would my man, Marcus Aurelius, do? I think he’d remind himself that he can’t control the behavior of other people and his desire to do good and be kind should outweigh any anger, hostility and disappointment he feels. He needs to find the remedy without letting anger take hold. He may forgive them but he’d, rightly, never forget that it happened. And for me, right now, for what appeared like pre-meditated theft, forgiveness is a tall order. It's amazing how unchanged our thoughts and emotions are in 2000 years. How the disciplines and thoughts and writings that a Roman emperor used to keep himself from losing it applies to me right now. I’d like to think that we’re kinder and more civil and sophisticated today. However, it’s simply not true. The virtues that Aurelius championed are as hard to bring forth in me today as they were to him 2000 years ago. I’m Cam Marston and I’m just trying to Keep it Real. /episode/index/show/keepingitrealwithcammarston/id/31547067

Staring At the Clock 05/24/2024

Staring At the Clock On this week's Keepin' It Real, what was Cam doing today at 4:59am? Well, he wasn't getting out of bed. That we know for sure. ----- Most mornings I’m staring at the clock about 4:30 am waiting to get up. I won’t allow myself to get out of bed before 5am. Getting your day started at 5am means you’re aggressive. You’re eager to get going. Getting out of bed before 5am means you have a problem. They’re slight gradations. Minutes matter and 4:59am is a good bit different from 5am. I stare at the clock until it turns 5 when I feel like it’s ok to jump up and get the coffee started. Most of my friends are much the same. I sat at my kitchen table last Saturday night with two friends as we waited for the beef ribs to get to 203 degrees, which, according to one of my kitchen guests, is the magic temperature for beef ribs. Each of us talking about how early we get up and what we do in those early morning hours. It’s worth noting that none of us do anything much interesting at all at this time of day. We make busy. We putter around. Each thinking that our behavior at that hour must be fascinating to others and we can’t wait to tell them about it. It’s not. As different as we think we are, we’re all remarkably the same at that time of day. Years back I saw that when I accomplished something at that time of day it set a precedent for getting stuff done throughout the day. If I could check something off my list first thing in the morning – even something small - then I was likely to accomplish more during the day. This is to avoid staring into my phone as my first action of the day which leads to a poor beginning to the day. So at night, I cue up my early morning project. It’s simple stuff – I fold laundry, empty the dishwasher, take trash to the street, change a lightbulb. Something small done with one eye on the coffee maker. Because when the coffee maker beeps that the coffee is ready, the projects stop, the coffee goes into my cup, and it’s go-time for the day. But, in that short amount of time the coffee is brewing, I’ve made progress on having a good day. It’s unfair that the first fifteen minutes of each day has such great influence over the following sixteen hours. I’m more like a child protecting its pacifier than any sort of adult doing adult things. But I’ve learned, so goes my morning, so goes my day. A more mentally disciplined person would never allow that to happen – they can set a positive trajectory by shaping their thoughts anytime of the day. I, however, am vulnerable to those first fifteen minutes. It’s shocking and, frankly it disappoints me about myself. Amazing how beholden we are to our routines, isn’t it? Amazing how we count on them like we do. I can choose to get out of my routine and enjoy it. But knock me out of my routine unwillingly and I struggle to keep my day from deteriorating. So I protect it. And any parent knows what I know about myself – you don’t mess with the pacifier. I’m Cam Marston and I’m just trying to Keep It Real. /episode/index/show/keepingitrealwithcammarston/id/31451067

Don't Get Sick 05/19/2024

Don't Get Sick On this week's Keepin' It Real, Cam has seen much more of the healthcare world these days than he would like. His advice: Stay well. ----- I’ve been given an up a close look at our health care system over the past several months. It’s been, well, disappointing. And this comes after hearing a remarkable speaker discuss the importance of customer service on company culture. I made a reference several months ago to the pain I’ve had. It’s finally been diagnosed as polymyalgia rhumatica, or PMR. It showed up around February first and has been a part of every day since. It’s a sickness that can’t be confirmed through tests. Once they rule out everything else, it’s one of the ones that’s left. I’ve dealt with some pain in my life. Cluster headaches. A blood clot in my lung. However, nothing day in and day out has been like this PMR pain. On a scale from one to ten it’s regularly an 8 in the morning dipping to a four or five in the afternoon and back to an 8 the next morning. I need help getting my shirt on and off. I can barely brush my teeth. Right now, I’m on a steroid that masks the pain and I pray that the pain ends before the prescription runs out. Now, the heath care system. I’ve seen five different doctors to try to diagnose this. I’m guessing I’ve spent less than an hour total with all of them. Averaging, maybe, ten minutes each. They burst through the door, they ask a handful of questions, they order tests. It’s quick. I’ve spent lots of time with nurses and assistants and in waiting rooms. But the doctors are hard to come by. One hospital wouldn’t let me speak to a doctor who I heard might can help. “Unless you’re a patient,” they said, “you can’t speak to him.” “Well, I might become a patient if he thinks he can help. I’ve seen others of his specialty, but I hear he knows more. “Sorry,” they said. So, I wrote him a letter to get him to call me. I got a voice mail from the office supervisor – “you can’t talk to him. Please call me back,” she said. And I tried, got an exhaustive phone tree, zero’d out and asked, “Can I leave a message for the supervisor?” “Sorry,” they said. “Her phone isn’t hooked up to the system.” Over and over. Round and round. There were some phone trees that never allowed me to speak with anyone. If I weren’t in pain already my experience with today’s health care system was getting me there. Another – “before I can treat you further, I have to do some tests,” the doctor said. “Make an appointment on the way out.” “We don’t make appointments,” the front desk said. Annoyed. Staring at her phone. “Someone will call you.” A day later, “Our next available appointment is in July.” “So, I have to live in level 8 pain from early April to July?” “Sorry. That’s all I got. You want the appointment or not?” The culture of healthcare today is painful. Don’t get sick, folks. Don’t get sick. If your sickness doesn’t kill you, finding the treatment just might. I’m Cam Marston and I’m just trying to keep it real. /episode/index/show/keepingitrealwithcammarston/id/31373182

Keepin' It Real with Cam Marston

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