"The Mulatto Child the Strubes Adopted" with Janell Strube - Ep 122
Release Date: 12/04/2023
Unraveling Adoption
"The Church, of course, is doing everything it can to silence victims." - Brendan Watkins EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, the host, Beth Syverson, interviews Brendan Watkins, an Australian adoptee who shares his emotional journey of discovering his origin story filled with religious intrigue. Brendan found out that his birth mother became pregnant in the 1950s and relinquished him for adoption, and later became a nun. He then discovered that his birth father was a Catholic priest. Brendan's memoir, Tell No One, sheds light on the challenges faced by children of priests...
info_outlineUnraveling Adoption
"I never learned the word stress until I was 14 years old. And I can guarantee you I was very stressed well before the age of 14." -- Rae =============== π Order our book Adoption and Suicidality: π Community Calendar: β¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: πSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: =============== EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, host Beth Syverson interviews Rae, whose handle is Adoptee Reclaimed. Rae discusses how being homeschooled from kindergarten through high school in a conservative family led to feelings of isolation...
info_outlineUnraveling Adoption
"I really want to focus on the collective nature of being stolen, because it wasn't just me. It was the vast majority of Native adoptees." -- Pete Patton Episode Summary: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, co-hosted by Beth Syverson and her son Joey, they interview Pete Patton,LCSW, an Indigenous Inuit adoptee who shares his experiences of being stolen and adopted. Pete discusses the historical context of racism in Oregon and the impact it had on Native American communities there and elsewhere. He also delves into his journey of reconnecting with his Indigenous heritage and the healing...
info_outlineUnraveling Adoption
Adoption and Suicidality with Joey Nakao, Dr. Joyce Maguire Pavao, Bruce Porth, Janell Strube, Laura L. Engel, Lorraine Dusky, Terri Dreismeier, and Melissa Brunetti - Ep 158 "Despite working hard on a daily or moment-to-moment basis to stay alive, the poem revealed a thin thread of hope that by turning toward and befriending my pain, I might just find a way through it." -- Bruce Porth, one of the bookβs contributors β€οΈβπ©Ή If you or someone you know is suicidal, please call or text 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. (Outside US, call your areaβs crisis line.) β€οΈβπ©Ή...
info_outlineUnraveling Adoption
"I think my mom, my adoptive mom, was probably scared that she was going to lose me to my birth family." -- Elizabeth Barbour EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, host Beth Syverson interviews guest Elizabeth Barbour, an adoptee who has been in reunion with her birth parents and 11 siblings since 1999. Elizabeth shares her personal adoption story and highlights the importance of navigating search and reunion in a healthy way. She emphasizes the need for support, education, and personal growth for all members of the adoption triad. Elizabeth also discusses the significance...
info_outlineUnraveling Adoption
βLove is the biggest and best thing that she did β unconditional love." Desmond DeRoo EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of the podcast, I had the privilege of speaking with Desmond DeRoo, a 30-year-old currently serving his second prison term in Michigan. Desmond, who was adopted by Sarah DeRoo at the age of five after being in the foster care system, shared his experiences of growing up as a biracial child in a small white town in Michigan. Despite facing intense early childhood trauma and struggles with impulsive behavior, Desmond emphasized the importance of unconditional love and...
info_outlineUnraveling Adoption
"We have only ourselves. And when I'm thinking about that, I'm thinking how strong we are. Because we have survived and still live and still create and still talk about our history." -- KΓ’lΓ‘nguak Absalonsen Episode Summary: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with KΓ’lΓ‘nguak Absalonsen, an adopted person from Greenland living in Denmark. KΓ’lΓ‘nguak shared her unique perspective on adoption, colonization, and the challenges faced by Inuit people in Denmark. She highlighted the impact of colonization on adoption practices and the struggle to maintain...
info_outlineUnraveling Adoption
"The experience of being stuck is a pretty good place to be, I think, a lot of times in therapy and life." - Stephen Rowley Podcast Episode Synopsis: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Stephen Rowley, a school administrator, college professor, and psychotherapist who shared his fascinating journey of adoption and destiny. Steve's memoir, The Lost Coin: A Memoir of Adoption and Destiny, delves into the complexities of adoption and the impact it has had on his life. Steve shared insights into his adoption experience, including the profound moment of...
info_outlineUnraveling Adoption
Podcast Episode Synopsis: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I, Beth Syverson, provide a detailed update on the latest happenings within the Unraveling Adoption community. As an adoptive mom to my son Joey, we are dedicated to delving into the complexities of adoption and providing support to those impacted by adoption. Book Launch Announcement: The main highlight of this episode is the impending launch of our first book in the Unraveling Adoption book series. Titled Adoption and Suicidality, this anthology features stories, poems, and resources for adoptees, families, healthcare...
info_outlineUnraveling Adoption
βPsychedelics can offer a portal to other consciousnesses and open spaces beyond our regular reality.β -- Mee Ok Icaro (adoptee) βPsychedelics can be a powerful tool for deep work and accessing feelingsβ. - Leslie Pate Mackinnon (birth mom) βPsychedelics can lead to transformative experiences, dividing life into before and after the journey.β -- Beth Syverson (adoptive parent) *********** All adoption constellation members (adoptees, birth/first parents, adoptive parents, and other allies) are invited to a Medicine Circle on July 7, 2024, led by Mee Ok Icaro and...
info_outlineI think for my mother, she didn't always really see me quite as a person of equal value. - Janell Strube
A biracial adoptee, Janell Strube, shares her powerful journey of navigating racial identity and the impact of racism behind closed doors. Did she ever find the acceptance and understanding she sought?
In this episode, you will be able to:
-
Realize the complexities of biracial identity.
-
Begin to understand the impact of racism on identity formation.
-
Navigate the unique challenges of biracial identity.
-
Learn how to create a supportive environment for biracial or transracial adopted people.
-
Break the cycle of intergenerational trauma through awareness and action.
ππππππππ
My special guest is Janell Strube
Janell Strube is an accomplished domestic interracial adoptee, memoirist, novelist, and poet. With her unique perspective as an biracial adoptee and an adoptive parent, she navigates the complexities of race and adoption with depth and insight. Having been adopted at just four days old through a church adoption and growing up in a predominantly white community, she faced challenges and prejudices that shaped her understanding of her biracial identity. Her writings and poetry offer a powerful glimpse into her journey, providing valuable insights for parents of biracial children seeking guidance and understanding.
The resources mentioned in this episode are:
-
Check out Janell Strube's memoir, novels, and poetry to gain further insight into her adoptee experiences: janellstrube.com
-
Find Janell on Instagram: @janellstrube
-
Subscribe to Janell's Substack: https://janellstrube.substack.com/
-
Attend adoption-related events, screenings, and gatherings in your local area to connect with others in the adoption community: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
ππππππππ
π Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
β¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
πSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
ππππππππ
Exploring impact of racism on biracial identity
Racism can play a significant role in the development of a biracial identity, particularly when it manifests within the familial setting, as encountered by Janell. This can lead to confusion, insecurity, and emotional distress, potentially disrupting a child's self-esteem and sense of self-worth. The way in which a family navigates and counteracts racism can heavily influence a child's perception of their racial identity and their ability to fully embrace their dual heritage.
Learning strategies to navigate challenges
Navigating the challenges of biracial identity formation involves actively embracing and valuing the child's distinct cultural backgrounds. Acknowledging and addressing inherent prejudice, providing positive role models from both of the child's racial backgrounds, and listening to and validating the child's experiences are strategies that can cultivate a supportive environment. As in Janell's experience, writing can also be used as a tool for healing and making sense of one's racial identity.
ππππππππ
Here's Janell's Tree poem:
ππππππππ
Timestamped summary of this episode:
00:01:17 - Early Childhood and Adoption
Janell shares that she was adopted when she was four days old through a church adoption. Her birth mother, who was white, made the decision to relinquish her. Janell also reveals that she was introduced as a "mulatto child" during her childhood.
00:03:32 - Discovering Her Biracial Identity
Janell explains that she learned she was adopted and biracial when she was three years old. She recalls the emotions she felt upon finding out and how her parents handled the revelation. She also discusses her perception of herself as both black and white.
00:05:59 - Community and Racism
Janell discusses her experience growing up in a predominantly white community. She shares that she faced racism from some members of her community and struggled with the lack of support or protection from her parents. She also reflects on her parents' pride in adopting a mulatto child.
00:09:26 - Lack of Context and Value
Janell talks about the lack of context her parents provided regarding her adoption and how it affected her sense of identity. She also mentions that her mother didn't always see her as a person of equal value, which has been an ongoing source of pain.
00:13:41 - Experiencing Racism in Closed Doors
The guest shares her personal experience of racism within her own family, including her birth grandmother's refusal to be called grandmother and her birth mother's family's rejection of her because she is biracial.
00:14:31 - The Impact of Racist Comments
Racist comments have a deep and lasting impact on children who are adopted into families that ignore or perpetuate racism. The guest describes these comments as cuts on the soul, causing long-term emotional and psychological harm.
00:15:19 - Lack of Cultural and Racial Mirrors
The guest discusses the lack of cultural and racial mirrors in her early life, with white people dominating her surroundings and no role models to look up to. It was only later, in high school, that she found a black friend who became her cultural mirror.
00:16:41 - Uncomfortable Interracial Experience
The guest's mother felt embarrassed when they attended a Jesse Jackson event where they were the only white people. It was a moment that made her mother uncomfortable and gave her a glimpse of what it feels like to be the racial minority.
00:20:12 - Writing as a Coping Mechanism
The guest turned to writing as a coping mechanism, using it as a way to express her feelings and experiences that couldn't be openly discussed or shared. Writing became a tool for self-expression and a way to release the pain she felt.
00:27:33 - Being a Bridge
The guest discusses the importance of being a bridge between two worlds and finding inner strength to navigate challenges and find purpose.
00:28:10 - Fostering Children
The guest shares her experience growing up as an adopted child and how it inspired her to become a foster parent. She highlights the need for better treatment and support for children in foster care.
00:29:28 - Adopting her Son
The guest talks about adopting her son after his mother passed away and how she made a daily commitment to him. She acknowledges the struggles he faces but expresses pride in his resilience and ability to find joy in life.
00:31:32 - Mother-Son Bond
The guest shares a precious memory of visiting her son in Florida and wearing matching hats. She describes their close bond and her admiration for his big heart.
00:33:07 - Advice for Parents of Biracial Children
Janell provides advice for parents of biracial children, emphasizing the importance of examining prejudices, modeling non-racist behavior, and valuing all cultures. She also encourages parents to listen to and advocate for their children's experiences.
00:41:41 - Connecting with Family
Janell discusses how she connects with both sides of her family and sees herself as a part of them, whether for good or bad. She expresses that writing her memoir is helping her process her experiences and put them into perspective.
00:42:30 - Complex Lives
Janell reflects on the complexity of her own life and the lives of those involved in her adoption. She discusses the importance of understanding the struggles and pain of her adoptive mother and birth mother, and how it shapes her perspective.
00:43:45 - Generational Trauma
The conversation shifts to the concept of intergenerational trauma and how it is passed down through genes. Janell believes in the truth of epigenetics and how the trauma of her ancestors is present within her. She emphasizes the importance of mitigating pain for future generations.
00:45:01 - Unconditional Love and Acceptance
Janell highlights the importance of unconditional love and acceptance within her family, especially as an adoptive parent herself. She acknowledges the need to let children find their own path and not see them as mirrors of ourselves.
00:47:19 - Validating Adoptees' Stories
Janell expresses gratitude for being able to share her story and emphasizes the importance of adoptive parents listening to adoptees without trying to minimize or invalidate their experiences. She hopes that her story will help others understand the complexities of adoption.