A Natural Father Fighting the Adoption Machine with Paul Fiscus - Ep 125
Release Date: 12/25/2023
Unraveling Adoption
"The Church, of course, is doing everything it can to silence victims." - Brendan Watkins EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, the host, Beth Syverson, interviews Brendan Watkins, an Australian adoptee who shares his emotional journey of discovering his origin story filled with religious intrigue. Brendan found out that his birth mother became pregnant in the 1950s and relinquished him for adoption, and later became a nun. He then discovered that his birth father was a Catholic priest. Brendan's memoir, Tell No One, sheds light on the challenges faced by children of priests...
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"I never learned the word stress until I was 14 years old. And I can guarantee you I was very stressed well before the age of 14." -- Rae =============== π Order our book Adoption and Suicidality: π Community Calendar: β¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: πSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: =============== EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, host Beth Syverson interviews Rae, whose handle is Adoptee Reclaimed. Rae discusses how being homeschooled from kindergarten through high school in a conservative family led to feelings of isolation...
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"I really want to focus on the collective nature of being stolen, because it wasn't just me. It was the vast majority of Native adoptees." -- Pete Patton Episode Summary: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, co-hosted by Beth Syverson and her son Joey, they interview Pete Patton,LCSW, an Indigenous Inuit adoptee who shares his experiences of being stolen and adopted. Pete discusses the historical context of racism in Oregon and the impact it had on Native American communities there and elsewhere. He also delves into his journey of reconnecting with his Indigenous heritage and the healing...
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Adoption and Suicidality with Joey Nakao, Dr. Joyce Maguire Pavao, Bruce Porth, Janell Strube, Laura L. Engel, Lorraine Dusky, Terri Dreismeier, and Melissa Brunetti - Ep 158 "Despite working hard on a daily or moment-to-moment basis to stay alive, the poem revealed a thin thread of hope that by turning toward and befriending my pain, I might just find a way through it." -- Bruce Porth, one of the bookβs contributors β€οΈβπ©Ή If you or someone you know is suicidal, please call or text 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. (Outside US, call your areaβs crisis line.) β€οΈβπ©Ή...
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"I think my mom, my adoptive mom, was probably scared that she was going to lose me to my birth family." -- Elizabeth Barbour EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, host Beth Syverson interviews guest Elizabeth Barbour, an adoptee who has been in reunion with her birth parents and 11 siblings since 1999. Elizabeth shares her personal adoption story and highlights the importance of navigating search and reunion in a healthy way. She emphasizes the need for support, education, and personal growth for all members of the adoption triad. Elizabeth also discusses the significance...
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βLove is the biggest and best thing that she did β unconditional love." Desmond DeRoo EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of the podcast, I had the privilege of speaking with Desmond DeRoo, a 30-year-old currently serving his second prison term in Michigan. Desmond, who was adopted by Sarah DeRoo at the age of five after being in the foster care system, shared his experiences of growing up as a biracial child in a small white town in Michigan. Despite facing intense early childhood trauma and struggles with impulsive behavior, Desmond emphasized the importance of unconditional love and...
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"We have only ourselves. And when I'm thinking about that, I'm thinking how strong we are. Because we have survived and still live and still create and still talk about our history." -- KΓ’lΓ‘nguak Absalonsen Episode Summary: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with KΓ’lΓ‘nguak Absalonsen, an adopted person from Greenland living in Denmark. KΓ’lΓ‘nguak shared her unique perspective on adoption, colonization, and the challenges faced by Inuit people in Denmark. She highlighted the impact of colonization on adoption practices and the struggle to maintain...
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"The experience of being stuck is a pretty good place to be, I think, a lot of times in therapy and life." - Stephen Rowley Podcast Episode Synopsis: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Stephen Rowley, a school administrator, college professor, and psychotherapist who shared his fascinating journey of adoption and destiny. Steve's memoir, The Lost Coin: A Memoir of Adoption and Destiny, delves into the complexities of adoption and the impact it has had on his life. Steve shared insights into his adoption experience, including the profound moment of...
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Podcast Episode Synopsis: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I, Beth Syverson, provide a detailed update on the latest happenings within the Unraveling Adoption community. As an adoptive mom to my son Joey, we are dedicated to delving into the complexities of adoption and providing support to those impacted by adoption. Book Launch Announcement: The main highlight of this episode is the impending launch of our first book in the Unraveling Adoption book series. Titled Adoption and Suicidality, this anthology features stories, poems, and resources for adoptees, families, healthcare...
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βPsychedelics can offer a portal to other consciousnesses and open spaces beyond our regular reality.β -- Mee Ok Icaro (adoptee) βPsychedelics can be a powerful tool for deep work and accessing feelingsβ. - Leslie Pate Mackinnon (birth mom) βPsychedelics can lead to transformative experiences, dividing life into before and after the journey.β -- Beth Syverson (adoptive parent) *********** All adoption constellation members (adoptees, birth/first parents, adoptive parents, and other allies) are invited to a Medicine Circle on July 7, 2024, led by Mee Ok Icaro and...
info_outline"Adoption is about finding homes for babies, not about finding babies for families." -- Paul Fiscus
Do you want to see an increase in awareness and advocacy for natural fathers? Join me in listening to Paul Fiscus' plea for greater support and recognition for natural fathers. He hasn't seen his 5-year-old daughter Eliza since she was an infant. Through our discussion, you will learn actionable steps to raise awareness and advocate for the rights of natural fathers. Together, we can make a difference and bring about positive change for fathers fighting for their right to parent.
In this episode, you will be able to:
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Discover the impact of unjust treatment of natural parents in adoption.
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Uncover the corruption in the adoption system and its impact on parental rights.
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Explore the role of racism in adoption cases and its effects on natural fathers.
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Advocate for parental rights and learn how to increase awareness and support for natural fathers.
My special guest is Paul Fiscus
Paul Fiscus, a devoted natural father, brings a unique perspective to the discussion on adoption and custody rights. His personal experiences have propelled him to become a passionate advocate for the rights of natural fathers. Paul's unwavering determination and in-depth understanding of the legal intricacies surrounding adoption highlight the hurdles that natural fathers can sometimes encounter. His insights and commitment to creating change in the treatment of natural fathers make him an invaluable voice in the ongoing dialogue about fathers' rights in the adoption process.
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π Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
β¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
πSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
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The resources mentioned in this episode are:
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Visit the website freeeliza.com to learn more about Paul's fight for his daughter and to stay updated on his advocacy efforts.
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Connect with Paul directly by emailing him at [email protected] if you have any specific questions or want to offer support or assistance.
- Connect with the Free Eliza group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/freeeliza
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Support or volunteer for Saving Our Sisters with Renee Gelin: https://savingoursistersadoption.org/
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Other Resources:
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APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionβs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
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Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com
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Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
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Adoptee-Therapist Directory: https://growbeyondwords.com/adoptee-therapist-directory/
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Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to [email protected]
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
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Understand Unjust Treatment in Adoption
The adoption industry is a tumultuous space characterized by decisions that can often feel arbitrary and unjust to the affected parties. This is highlighted in Paul Fiscus' experience where he faced severe challenges in fighting for his rights as a natural father. The bias and seeming corruption in the system reflect a pressing need for increased dialogue, ethical practices and actionable reform to provide fair treatment for all parties involved.
Timestamped summary of this episode:
00:00:00 - Introduction and Background
Beth Syverson introduces the podcast and her guest, Paul Fiscus, who shares his experience as a natural father to a daughter he hasn't seen since infancy. The conversation aims to shed light on the complexities and injustices of adoption.
00:01:16 - Becoming a Father
Paul Fiscus shares his experience of finding out about becoming a father at 39 and the complexities of his relationship with the natural mother of his daughter. He discusses the challenges of co-parenting and the impact of the mother's bipolar disorder on their plans.
00:04:00 - Relinquishment and Legal Battles
Paul discusses the challenges he faced when the natural mother cut off contact and the subsequent relinquishment of his daughter for adoption. He details the legal battles, ethical violations, and his relentless efforts to fight for his parental rights.
00:08:48 - Birth Mother's Motivation
Paul reveals the birth mother's motivations, including her refusal to co-parent, control issues, and financial gains from the adoption. He highlights the unethical practices within the adoption industry and the impact on his daughter's well-being.
00:12:42 - Adoptive Parents' Role
Paul discusses the refusal of the adoptive parents to communicate with him and their perspective on the legal process. He emphasizes the ethical and moral considerations surrounding the adoption of his daughter.
00:13:00 - Filing for Paternity
Paul shares his experience of filing for paternity despite uncertainty about being the biological father. He discusses the legal process, including the petition and motions filed.
00:14:38 - Legal Battle and Emotional Toll
Paul recounts the emotional and legal challenges he faced in the courtroom. He details the accusations made against him and the impact it had on his mental health.
00:18:48 - Seeking Relief
Paul discusses his current legal actions, including filing a writ to the US Supreme Court. He expresses frustration with the legal system and the challenges he faces in seeking justice for his situation.
00:20:26 - Emotional Impact and Coping
Paul opens up about the emotional toll of the situation, including struggles with PTSD and managing anger. He shares how music and meditation have helped him cope.
00:22:56 - Last Legal Resort
Paul explains that filing a writ to the US Supreme Court is his last legal option. He also discusses potential motives behind the opposition he has faced in the legal system.
00:25:49 - Coping with lack of support
Paul discusses the lack of support he has received and the impact it has had on him. He mentions feeling frustrated and unheard, highlighting the need for awareness and advocacy for fathers in similar situations.
00:26:24 - Race and adoption
The conversation delves into the racial dynamics of adoption, with Paul noting the disparity in outcomes for Caucasian fathers compared to Hispanic or African American fathers. They discuss the disturbing implications of this racial divide in the adoption process.
00:27:43 - Gender dynamics in the legal system
The conversation touches on the frustration with the legal system, particularly the role of judges who are often parents themselves. They explore the challenges of advocating for parental rights in a system that seems to favor certain demographics.
00:29:00 - Impact on the child
The discussion delves into the emotional impact on Paul's daughter, Eliza, and the potential consequences of the misinformation she may have been exposed to. They express concern for the future relationship between Eliza and her adoptive parents.
00:33:32 - Call to action
Paul emphasizes the importance of raising awareness and promoting ethical adoption practices. He encourages listeners to share the episode and engage in advocacy efforts to support ethical family preservation and child welfare.