Helping Adoptees Heal from Addiction's Grasp With David Bohl - Ep 129
Release Date: 01/22/2024
Unraveling Adoption
"The Church, of course, is doing everything it can to silence victims." - Brendan Watkins EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, the host, Beth Syverson, interviews Brendan Watkins, an Australian adoptee who shares his emotional journey of discovering his origin story filled with religious intrigue. Brendan found out that his birth mother became pregnant in the 1950s and relinquished him for adoption, and later became a nun. He then discovered that his birth father was a Catholic priest. Brendan's memoir, Tell No One, sheds light on the challenges faced by children of priests...
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"I never learned the word stress until I was 14 years old. And I can guarantee you I was very stressed well before the age of 14." -- Rae =============== đ Order our book Adoption and Suicidality: đ Community Calendar: â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: =============== EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, host Beth Syverson interviews Rae, whose handle is Adoptee Reclaimed. Rae discusses how being homeschooled from kindergarten through high school in a conservative family led to feelings of isolation...
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"I really want to focus on the collective nature of being stolen, because it wasn't just me. It was the vast majority of Native adoptees." -- Pete Patton Episode Summary: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, co-hosted by Beth Syverson and her son Joey, they interview Pete Patton,LCSW, an Indigenous Inuit adoptee who shares his experiences of being stolen and adopted. Pete discusses the historical context of racism in Oregon and the impact it had on Native American communities there and elsewhere. He also delves into his journey of reconnecting with his Indigenous heritage and the healing...
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Adoption and Suicidality with Joey Nakao, Dr. Joyce Maguire Pavao, Bruce Porth, Janell Strube, Laura L. Engel, Lorraine Dusky, Terri Dreismeier, and Melissa Brunetti - Ep 158 "Despite working hard on a daily or moment-to-moment basis to stay alive, the poem revealed a thin thread of hope that by turning toward and befriending my pain, I might just find a way through it." -- Bruce Porth, one of the bookâs contributors â¤ď¸â𩹠If you or someone you know is suicidal, please call or text 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. (Outside US, call your areaâs crisis line.) â¤ď¸âđŠš...
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"I think my mom, my adoptive mom, was probably scared that she was going to lose me to my birth family." -- Elizabeth Barbour EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, host Beth Syverson interviews guest Elizabeth Barbour, an adoptee who has been in reunion with her birth parents and 11 siblings since 1999. Elizabeth shares her personal adoption story and highlights the importance of navigating search and reunion in a healthy way. She emphasizes the need for support, education, and personal growth for all members of the adoption triad. Elizabeth also discusses the significance...
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âLove is the biggest and best thing that she did â unconditional love." Desmond DeRoo EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of the podcast, I had the privilege of speaking with Desmond DeRoo, a 30-year-old currently serving his second prison term in Michigan. Desmond, who was adopted by Sarah DeRoo at the age of five after being in the foster care system, shared his experiences of growing up as a biracial child in a small white town in Michigan. Despite facing intense early childhood trauma and struggles with impulsive behavior, Desmond emphasized the importance of unconditional love and...
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"We have only ourselves. And when I'm thinking about that, I'm thinking how strong we are. Because we have survived and still live and still create and still talk about our history." -- Kâlånguak Absalonsen Episode Summary: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with Kâlånguak Absalonsen, an adopted person from Greenland living in Denmark. Kâlånguak shared her unique perspective on adoption, colonization, and the challenges faced by Inuit people in Denmark. She highlighted the impact of colonization on adoption practices and the struggle to maintain...
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"The experience of being stuck is a pretty good place to be, I think, a lot of times in therapy and life." - Stephen Rowley Podcast Episode Synopsis: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Stephen Rowley, a school administrator, college professor, and psychotherapist who shared his fascinating journey of adoption and destiny. Steve's memoir, The Lost Coin: A Memoir of Adoption and Destiny, delves into the complexities of adoption and the impact it has had on his life. Steve shared insights into his adoption experience, including the profound moment of...
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Podcast Episode Synopsis: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I, Beth Syverson, provide a detailed update on the latest happenings within the Unraveling Adoption community. As an adoptive mom to my son Joey, we are dedicated to delving into the complexities of adoption and providing support to those impacted by adoption. Book Launch Announcement: The main highlight of this episode is the impending launch of our first book in the Unraveling Adoption book series. Titled Adoption and Suicidality, this anthology features stories, poems, and resources for adoptees, families, healthcare...
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âPsychedelics can offer a portal to other consciousnesses and open spaces beyond our regular reality.â -- Mee Ok Icaro (adoptee) âPsychedelics can be a powerful tool for deep work and accessing feelingsâ. - Leslie Pate Mackinnon (birth mom) âPsychedelics can lead to transformative experiences, dividing life into before and after the journey.â -- Beth Syverson (adoptive parent) *********** All adoption constellation members (adoptees, birth/first parents, adoptive parents, and other allies) are invited to a Medicine Circle on July 7, 2024, led by Mee Ok Icaro and...
info_outline"Change can happen incrementally, and oftentimes it's better that it does. We've heard the cliche 'trust the process.' Oftentimes the process is the most important thing." - David Bohl
Join relinquishee/adoptee recovery coach David Bohl as he confronts the paradox of finding trust and healing in the intersection of adoption and addiction. He guides individuals towards healthy coping mechanisms and support in the face of deep-rooted trauma.
In this episode, you will be able to:
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Understand the possible impacts of adoption trauma on mental health and addiction.
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Embrace TRUST as a key component in the journey to recovery.
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Explore the unique challenges of addiction for adopted people.
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Find safe and supportive communities for healing and growth.
My special guest is David Bohl
Meet David B. Bohl, an expert in addiction and adoption, whose personal journey through addiction recovery and exploration of the complex intersection between adoption and addiction brings a unique blend of empathy and expertise to our conversation. With a background that includes serving on the boards of prominent addiction and adoption organizations and receiving credentials from esteemed organizations like the Hazelton Betty Ford Graduate School of Addiction Studies, David's insights are informed, compassionate, and relatable. His memoir, Parallel Universes, and nonfiction book, Relinquishment and Addiction: What Trauma Has to Do with It, not only solidify his expertise but also highlight his commitment to providing support for individuals affected by adoption and addiction. David's balanced approach to destigmatizing addiction and promoting recovery reflects his genuine passion for helping others navigate their healing journey.
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
The resources mentioned in this episode are:
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To find David Bohl's recovery coaching services, visit his website at beaconconfidential.com or Google his name with the middle initial B to find his many resources online.
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Buy Davidâs memoir Parallel Universes: The Story of Rebirth: https://www.amazon.com/Parallel-Universes-David-B-Bohl-ebook/dp/B079KSVJGB
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Check out the book David wrote with Jamie Marich, Relinquishment and Addiction: What Trauma Has to Do With It: https://www.amazon.com/Relinquishment-Addiction-What-Trauma-Has-ebook/dp/B09NZ37CX6
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Hereâs Jamie Marichâs book Trauma and the 12 Steps: https://www.amazon.com/Trauma-12-Steps-Meditations-Reflections-ebook/dp/B08KC38MJZ
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Paul Sunderland's excellent video "Addiction & Adoption: Remembered Not Recalled" can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3e0-SsmOUJI
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Celia Center has a facilitated adoption constellation addiction group, led by David, that meets every other Tuesday. Find more information here: https://celiacenter.org/
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To sign up for the Untangling Our Roots Summit in Denver in April 2024, visit the event's website for registration details. UntanglingOurRoots.com
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For adoptive parents interested in coaching groups, visit unravelingadoption.com/coaching or email Beth at [email protected] for more information on upcoming coaching groups or individual coaching sessions.
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If you're an adoptee, birth parent, adoptive parent, or ally looking for support groups or events, visit unravelingadoption.com/Calendar. I maintain a Community Calendar listing there with dozens of support groups for the adoption constellation.
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Other Resources:
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APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
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Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com
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Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
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Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to [email protected]
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: www.UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
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Embracing trust in recovery -
David emphasizes the crucial role of trust in recovery. From his own experiences, he realized that as an adoptee he had struggled to trust himself, others, and Higher Powers. His recovery journey was initiated by a process of rebuilding trust and finding healthier ways to deal with life's stressors. This topic is important as it underscores the concept that trust serves as a fundamental pillar in the path to recovery.
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Timestamped summary of this episode:
00:00:00 - Introduction and Background
Beth introduces herself, and acknowledges her and her son Joe's commitment to helping those impacted by adoption. She also introduces David Bohl as a guest who has struggled and recovered from addiction.
00:01:00 - David's Adoption Story and Addiction
David shares his adoption story of being relinquished at birth and adopted, as well as his struggles with alcohol and nicotine addiction. He highlights the impact of trust issues stemming from his relinquishment and adoption experiences.
00:03:42 - Destigmatizing Addiction
David discusses the need to destigmatize addiction and use everyday language to describe and address addiction issues. He emphasizes the importance of building trust and using more accepting language in recovery programs.
00:07:29 - Recovery and Identity Formation
David shares his journey of recovery, emphasizing the expansion of his identity from a disconnected individual to someone who has learned healthy coping mechanisms and repaired fractured relationships. He highlights the ongoing process of identity formation in recovery.
00:08:52 - Understanding Relinquishment and Addiction
Beth expresses empathy for the depth of pain experienced by relinquished individuals and acknowledges the tough challenge of dealing with disconnection from a young age. David emphasizes that addiction is simply a problem to be solved and discusses the need for understanding and support in addressing addiction issues.
00:12:08 - Importance of Safe Communities and Validation
David emphasizes the importance of finding safe communities and getting validated in adoption spaces. He explains how it allows individuals to understand different perspectives and get to know themselves better, but also highlights that it is just the minimum needed to start healing.
00:13:26 - Stabilizing the Situation
David discusses the need to stabilize the situation in addiction treatment, emphasizing the importance of eliminating unhealthy behaviors and perceptions while enhancing one's ability to feel good about themselves and their place in the world. He stresses the need for careful discussions and robust community support.
00:15:04 - Addiction and Adoption Constellation Support Group
David shares insights about the addiction and adoption constellation support group he runs with Celia Center. He explains the purpose of the group, emphasizing the importance of creating a safe place, validating experiences, and facilitating robust discussions within the adoption constellation community.
00:18:33 - Resources and Support for the Adoption Constellation
David discusses the availability of resources and support for the adoption constellation community, emphasizing the importance of raising awareness, providing psychoeducation, and letting people know about the various resources that now exist, especially through virtual platforms like Zoom.
00:20:32 - Helping Adopted Individuals in Addiction
David shares his approach to helping adopted individuals struggling with addiction, emphasizing the importance of finding someone to trust, getting clear on what's working and what's not, setting up goals, identifying outcomes, and providing resources and support to help individuals overcome their challenges
00:23:40 - Introduction to Recovery Coaching
David Bohl discusses his role as a recovery consultant and coach, offering support and resources for those struggling with addiction.
00:24:50 - Reach Out for Help
David emphasizes the importance of seeking help and finding resources that work for each individual, encouraging listeners to reach out and find support.
00:25:34 - Be Gentle with Yourself
David shares a message of self-compassion and incremental change, reminding listeners to be gentle with themselves and trust the healing process.
00:26:30 - Coaching Groups for Adoptive Parents
Beth invites adoptive parents to join coaching groups focused on supporting teens and young adults struggling with addiction, as well as nurturing identity and making connections for younger children.
00:27:39 - Conclusion and Call to Action
Beth encourages listeners to share the episode with those who may benefit from the important discussion on addiction, and expresses gratitude to David for his wisdom and mentorship.