Codependency in the Adoption Constellation with Jonathan Newbern - Ep 143
Release Date: 04/29/2024
Adoption Songs: Exploring the Complexities of Adoption Through Music with Lori Evans Ermi and Kate Ermi
Unraveling Adoption
"I think now that we have this knowledge, then we can use our story to help create awareness." - Lori Evans Ermi Read the transcript here: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01JDRMT4Z5RGJ6SD35WBFBT4PM EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of welcoming Lori Evans Ermi and her 17-year-old daughter, Kate Ermi, both of whom are adoptees and co-wrote their new book, Adoption Songs. Our conversation delved into the complexities of adoption from their unique perspectives, highlighting the emotional layers that come with their experiences. Lori shared her journey as a...
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The Male Adoptee Experience: Understanding Anger, Vulnerability, and Community with Tim Perdion - Ep 172
Unraveling Adoption
"I almost feel like there was a blueprint, and I was a character to fit into that blueprint." -- Tim Perdion Episode Summary: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the opportunity to speak with Tim Perdion, an adoptee from Ohio who has spent the last decade navigating his journey of self-discovery and healing. Tim shares his experience of being adopted shortly after birth and the feelings of not belonging that plagued him throughout his childhood. Despite growing up in a loving family, he struggled with anger and a sense of isolation, which led him to seek validation through sports and...
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The Plants Are Calling for the Adoption Constellation with Mee Ok Icaro - Ep 171
Unraveling Adoption
"The plants are always turning everything upside down because our culture is upside down." -- Mee Ok Icaro EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I, Beth Syverson, welcome back Mee Ok Icaro, a previous guest who has shared her profound insights on adoption and healing through plant medicine. This episode is particularly special as we recorded as we prepared for an ayahuasca retreat in Costa Rica, where I participated in my first ceremony under Mee Ok’s guidance. We begin by discussing our feelings as the retreat approaches. I express my excitement mixed with a hint of fear,...
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Finding Empowerment through Sex Work as a Korean Adoptee with Kayla Tange - Ep 170
Unraveling Adoption
Finding Empowerment through Sex Work as a Korean Adoptee with Kayla Tange "I can be in my body, and in that moment, I feel safe." -- Kayla Tange EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with Kayla Tange, a Korean adoptee raised by Japanese-American parents. She has navigated a unique and complex journey through life as an exotic dancer, performance artist, and sex worker. Kayla shared her adoption story, detailing her early life in an orphanage in Seoul before being adopted at six months old. We explored how her experiences with ADHD and...
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From Ethiopia to America and Back Again: An Adoptee’s Fight for Justice with Mike Davis and Maureen McCauley - Ep 169
Unraveling Adoption
"I thought I'll go to the embassy and I'll clear this up. Yeah, that I was adopted legally and I was US citizen." -- Mike Davis READ THE TRANSCRIPT HERE: EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with Mike Davis, an intercountry adoptee whose story sheds light on the often-overlooked complexities of adoption, particularly regarding citizenship issues. Mike was adopted from Ethiopia at the age of eight by an African-American single father and grew up in the U.S. However, in the mid-1990s, he discovered that he was not a U.S. citizen,...
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Educating the Next Generation: Adoption Messages in Children's Books with Allison Olson - Ep 168
Unraveling Adoption
"I can read a book and tell you if it's written by an adoptee, written by an adoptive parent or written by somebody who's just a famous author and someone told him to write about adoption and they know nothing about it." -- Allison Olson EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Allison Olson, an adoptee and adoptive parent who has made significant contributions to children's literature on adoption. We explored her personal adoption story, which began in 1979 when she was adopted as a baby in a closed adoption, and how her experiences shaped...
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Creative Paths to Healing Childhood Trauma with Jonathan Moon - Ep 167
Unraveling Adoption
“I'm telling all the skeptics who may be listening, just go in there with an open mind because you're not going to lose anything. You have so much more to gain.” - Jonathan Moon EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with Jonathan Moon, an adopted person who has navigated the complexities of relinquishment and adoption trauma. Jonathan's journey began in Korea, where he faced significant challenges as a child, including living on the streets and experiencing significant instability. He was adopted to the U.S. at the age of nine and...
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The Realities of Open Adoption with a Mother-Daughter Duo with Linda and Belle Sexton - Ep 166
Unraveling Adoption
"I think my mom does a great job addressing this in the book, but open adoption is not without its challenges." - Belle Sexton Episode Summary: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the honor of speaking with Linda R. Sexton, an adoptive mom and author, and her 25-year-old daughter, Belle. This marks our first mother-daughter duo on the podcast, offering a unique perspective on open adoption. Linda R. Sexton is an author, speaker and blogger. She is an adoptive mom of two children, both in open arrangements, and is the author of the award-winning book, . The story is told with frank...
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The Intersection of Politics and Adoption with Mark H. - Ep 165
Unraveling Adoption
"The way that fascism triumphs is if everyone goes silent and becomes quiescent." - Mark H. EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I, Beth Syverson, welcome Mark, a transracial adoptee from Korea and a passionate advocate for adoption-related issues. Together, we delve into the often-overlooked intersection of politics and adoption, particularly in the context of the upcoming U.S. presidential election. As an adoptive mom of a 20-year-old son, Joey, who is navigating his own path, I feel a deep responsibility to address the complexities surrounding adoption and how they...
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Unpacking Adoption Trauma: Insights from an Adoptive Parent with Stacey Uhrig - Ep 164
Unraveling Adoption
“They [our kids] can't be more regulated than you are. They can only be as regulated as the least regulated person in the house.” - Stacey Uhrig EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Stacey Uhrig, an adoptive parent and certified trauma recovery coach. Stacey shared her journey into adoption, which began after her own struggles with infertility. She emphasized the emotional complexities and challenges that come with adoption, particularly the trauma that both adoptees and adoptive parents may face. Stacey discussed her...
info_outline"...when you're walking around with a sense of loss, or you feel like your first mother or first family don't want you, there's two ways you go about this. Either A, you're going to get really enmeshed and get real clingy because you don't want to lose. Or B, you get this detachment, and as adoptees and groups sometimes say, ‘I'm going to leave you before you leave me.’" -- Jonathan Newbern
Podcast Episode Synopsis:
In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of hosting Jonathan Newbern, a same-race domestic adoptee deeply involved with Codependents Anonymous (CODA). Jonathan shared his poignant adoption journey, marked by a late discovery of his adoption status and a tumultuous childhood. He bravely delved into the connection between relinquishment trauma, adoption trauma, reunion trauma, and codependency, shedding light on the complexities adoptees often face.
Jonathan's personal experiences and insights into codependency from an adoptee's perspective provided valuable tools and practical advice for those struggling with similar issues. He emphasized the importance of seeking help, setting boundaries, and engaging in self-care practices to navigate the challenges of codependency.
Throughout the episode, Jonathan's vulnerability and resilience shone through as he shared his journey of healing and growth. His message of empowerment and self-worth resonated deeply, reminding listeners that they are not alone in their struggles.
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✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
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RESOURCES:
Jonathan’s information:
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Jonathan on Instragram: https://www.instagram.com/jonknee1/
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Jonathan on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jon.newbern
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Email Jonathan: [email protected]
Resources mentioned in this episode:
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Codependents Anonymous (CODA): https://coda.org/
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Adoption Mosaic: https://adoptionmosaic.com/
Other Resources:
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APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
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Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com
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Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
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Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to [email protected]
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: www.UnravelingAdoption.com
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Timestamps
00:00:00 - Introduction to Adoption and Codependency
00:05:30 - Jonathan's Adoption Story Unveiled
00:10:45 - Codependency and Attachment Styles
00:17:05 - Jonathan's Journey to Codependents Anonymous
00:20:39 - Recovery Tools and Self-Care Practices
00:22:06 - Embracing the Adoption Constellation
00:26:20 - Contact Information for Jonathan