Homily - Cheesefare Sunday/Sunday of Forgiveness

MATTHEW 6:14-21

The Lord said, "If you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father also will forgive you; but if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. And when you fast, do not look dismal, like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces that their fasting may be seen by men. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, that your fasting may not be seen by men but by your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you. Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust consume and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust consumes and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

 

We are going on a journey up a mountain – we should not carry things that are not worth having.  

 

This is part of the connection between forgiveness and fasting; 

• “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth…”

• Holding onto grudges – remembrances of wrongs – is the polyunsaturated meal that multiplies like the food in Gurgi’s magical sack: no matter how much we eat, there is always more.  But the more we eat, the more we are weighed down, the more damage we do to our souls, and the less capable we are of the theotic climb to holiness.

 

Three types of letting go.

 

1.  Exoneration: this is the ideal – wipes the slate clean

• It was an accident – no intent

• The actor was a child or an innocent; reconciliation should not even be threatened and should automatically be restorred

• The person is truly sorry; takes full responsibility; asks for forgiveness, and shows through their actions that they are reliable partners in love

• IN THESE CASES FULL EXONERATION IS REQUIRED; THE WORLD BECOMES BETTER WHEN WE DO AND WORSE WHEN WE DON’T

• “If thou, Lord, shouldest mark iniquities, O Lord, who shall stand?

But there is forgiveness with thee.” Matthew 129:3-4.

 

2. Forbearance

• Apology is qualified or inauthentic

• Let go of the thought

• “Forgive but don't forget”; setting of boundaries

• Allows us to maintain relations with people we cannot avoid or that we love

• Allows for the possibility of eventual exoneration as the person grows in goodness

• In scripture; all the commandments to be patient with one another and for the strong to bear the burdens of the weak speak to this kind of forgiveness.

 

3. Release

• No recognition of wrongdoing

• No repentance

• No expectation that the person will not do it in the future

• FORGIVENESS OF THIS KIND.DOES NOT EXONERATE

• Liberating.

• “And whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear your words, when ye depart out of that house or city, shake off the dust of your feet.”  St. Matthew 10:14.

Three Mistakes many of us make:

 

• Reconciling when it hasn’t been earned through repentance

• There is not more heartfelt sorrow and desire for forgiveness than that offered by the addict or the one who is set to lose things they value because of their sin.

• There is also little less reliable.

• Reliability is an attribute of love.  Those adults who cannot be relied on to be reliable do not deserve complete reconciliation.  They have earned boundaries of various types.  Some belong in category three.

• Those who demand reconciliation because of the depth of their feelings may be either sincere or manipulative, but it takes discernment to determine if complete reconciliation should be given.  For those with whom we have a good history, this can be done in steps.
  
  

• Taking offense when none was intended.  We are terrible at discerning intent, but we jump to it so quickly.  Offer grace and, if needed, a conversation.  Flowing from this:
  
  

• Coming at relationships like lawyers or police interrogators rather than friends and Christians.
  
  

We’ve got a mountain to climb…

Forgiveness is one of the great superpowers granted to us; let's use it properly.