Raise a Glass to Sobriety

A glass of wine or tasty cocktail at the end of a hard day is alluring for sure. But when nearly every day is hard, it might be time to rethink that drink.

The Odyssey: Parenting. Caregiving. Disability. 

The Center for Family Involvement at VCU School of Education's Partnership for People with Disabilities provides informational and emotional support to people with disabilities and their families. All of our services are free. We just want to help. We know how hard this can be because we're in it with you. 

 

SHOW NOTES:

Parenting Special Needs Magazine

Simplified self-care

There is limited research on the connection between caregiving and problem drinking. 

There is some recognition that caregiver burden can cause anxiety, depression, social isolation, and stress which are predictors of increased alcohol use. 

The slope to addiction is a slippery one. “It’s 5 o’clock somewhere” loses its charm when it becomes an excuse instead of a rare occasion. But it’s easy to miss the signs when you’re having fun on the slide. 

I speak from experience. I remember the warm, fuzzy calm that came over me when I had my very first drink many moons ago. It’s a feeling I chased over and over again at countless venues - dorms, dates, happy hours, concerts, weddings, funerals, brunches, lunches, dinners, suppers, baby showers, and eventually play dates. 

Information on how ADHD impacts substance use.

2023 survey of 1600 mothers by Parents found that 48% had tried to curb their drinking, one in three admitted they might be drinking too much, and 12% were worried they might have a dependency problem. 

 

Most folks pour way more than a standard serving when imbibing. 

 

 

In early 2025, the current U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy urged warning labels be updated to include a heightened risk of at least seven different types of cancers including breast, throat, and colon. 

 

 

According to his report, even consuming just one drink per week increases cancer risk by 10% in men and 16% in women. 

 

 

WHY ALCOHOL IS SO RISKY FOR CAREGIVERS

For those of us navigating this often isolating and relentless life of caregiving, alcohol often serves as a welcome distraction from what we really need - respite, support, empathy, space, to be seen. It muddies our crystal clear view of the injustice our children face, offering relief from a sometimes brutal reality. 

The immediate impact of alcohol use can lead to anxiety, irritability, agitation, lethargy, depression, impairment, poor judgement, and a whole host of other things that can make caregiving more difficult. If you are unable to recognize that alcohol use is exacerbating what ails you; a cycle is established - drinking to ease what ails you, in turn causing more ailment which leads to more drinking which can lead to problem drinking and eventually, potentially dependence.

There are many self-assessment tools available online, you just need to be brutally honest with yourself when taking them. 

As difficult as cutting back can be, finding help is easier than ever. 

 

 

TRANSCRIPT:

01:00:06:21 - 01:00:38:09

Erin Croyle

Welcome to The Odyssey. Parenting, Caregiving, Disability. I'm Erin Croyle, the creator and host of The Odyssey podcast explores how our lives change when someone we love has a disability. I was lucky enough to head down this less traveled road when my first child was born with Down's Syndrome in 2010. Now I work for the Center for Family Involvement at VCU's, Partnership for People with Disabilities.

 

01:00:38:11 - 01:01:19:00

Erin Croyle

This podcast explores the triumphs and hardships we face. We celebrate the joys that the odyssey of parenting, caregiving and disability bring. But there's no sugarcoating the tough stuff. I'm all about keeping it real, so I'm just going to come out and say. I've been recovering from surgery. So while I have some amazing interviews coming your way, this episode, I'm going to share a somewhat personal article I wrote for Parenting Special Needs Magazine about one of the hardest yet best things I've ever done for myself.

 

01:01:19:02 - 01:01:53:10

Erin Croyle

The allure of sipping on an adult beverage at the end of a hard day is real and for good reason. A glass of wine or a stiff drink are long romanticized ways to chill and unwind. A sort of easy pass into the fast lane of relaxation. But what happens when nearly every day is hard? Kind of like the unending mental and physical labor that comes with being both a parent and a primary caregiver for your child.

 

01:01:53:12 - 01:02:27:08

Erin Croyle

Reaching for a bottle of booze may seem like simplified self-care when your days are often both incredibly demanding. Yet super mundane. While there's virtually no research on the connection between caregiving and problem drinking, there is recognition that caregiver burden can cause anxiety, depression, social isolation and stress, which are all predictors of increased alcohol use. The slope to addiction is a slippery one.

 

01:02:27:10 - 01:03:14:02

Erin Croyle

It's 5 o’clock somewhere, loses its charm when it becomes an excuse instead of a rare occasion. But it's easy to miss the signs when you're having fun on that slide. I speak from experience. I remember so well the warm, fuzzy calm that came over me when I had my very first drink many moons ago. It's a feeling I've chased over and over again at countless venues, dorm rooms, dates, happy hours, concerts, weddings, funerals, brunches, lunches, dinners, suppers, baby showers, and eventually playdates.

 

01:03:14:04 - 01:03:42:10

Erin Croyle

The way our culture normalizes alcohol use made it easy for me to enjoy a glass of wine or three while making dinner for my children. That is up until I quietly quit drinking when they were ages five, three and one. Mommy, happy hours at a playground are a thing. One that I partook in, enjoyed and instigated. I felt like I deserved it.

 

01:03:42:12 - 01:04:12:13

Erin Croyle

My oldest son has Down syndrome and has eloped since he could walk. I now know that all three of my children have ADHD and so do I. What felt like the only attainable self-care I could find at the time was actually me self-medicating with some really heavy dosing. Caregivers operate at a whole other level of intensity than peers who are simply just parents.

 

01:04:12:15 - 01:04:42:13

Erin Croyle

When there is literally no time in the day to just be taking the edge off with a drink can be dangerously appealing. In fact, a 2023 survey of 1600 mothers by Parents magazine found that 48% had tried to curb their drinking. One in three admitted they might be drinking too much and 12% were worried they might have a dependency problem.

 

01:04:42:15 - 01:05:19:07

Erin Croyle

Everything in moderation is not always the way sober curious movements abound these days, from theme months like dry January and sober October to expensive mocktails popping up in beverage sections at the grocery store. It's easier than ever to be a teetotaler. Staying sober, however, is a whole other story. Drinking is ingrained in our lifestyles. Mimosas at brunch, celebratory toasts at wherever.

 

01:05:19:09 - 01:05:49:13

Erin Croyle

Honorary toasts at wherever. When I first stopped drinking, the pressure to have just one came from virtually every adult around me. Nearly a decade later, and I still rehearsed responses as to why I'm abstaining. It's just assumed that everyone old enough to drink would drink. And if they're not drinking, they're expected to explain why. As if it's anyone's business.

 

01:05:49:15 - 01:06:19:11

Erin Croyle

The thing is, if moderation requires thought or effort, it might be time to examine your habits more closely. This idea that a glass of red wine with dinner every night is healthy is a complete fallacy on many fronts. First off, how much is in that drink of yours? A serving size of wine is five ounces. That is way smaller than most people's pores.

 

01:06:19:13 - 01:07:02:12

Erin Croyle

The same goes for most drinks, from beer to hard booze to malt liquor. And I'll have graphs and more info on that in the show notes. Another consideration is that many people who drink too much don't realize they're drinking in excess, and they certainly don't see themselves as dependent on alcohol. Furthermore, statistics on alcohol consumption are self-reported. If we were to factor in human error and perception, most people are probably both over serving themselves while simultaneously underreporting their consumption to medical professionals.

 

01:07:02:14 - 01:07:38:02

Erin Croyle

In fact, the CDC reports that nine out of ten excessive drinkers are not alcohol dependent. But how would they know that? What's the measurement there? If you're an excessive drinker, what makes you think that you're not dependent on alcohol? It is a very blurred line. And even if you're truly one of those people who can have a few sips and walk away, the old adage that alcohol in moderation is good for us is patently false.

 

01:07:38:04 - 01:08:16:20

Erin Croyle

For decades, we've been led to believe that a drink or two several days a week could help in preventing heart attacks and strokes. But in early 2025, the U.S. surgeon general at the time, Dr. Vivek Murthy, urged warning labels be updated to include a heightened risk of at least seven different cancers, including breast, throat and colon. According to his report, even consuming just one drink per week increases cancer risk by 10% in men and 16% in women.

 

01:08:16:22 - 01:09:01:05

Erin Croyle

Let me repeat that and remember what I just said earlier. We are overconsuming and underreporting. So in his report, he said even consuming just one drink per week, one five ounce glass of wine per week increases cancer risk by 10% in men and 16% in women. Why is alcohol so risky for caregivers? For those of us navigating this often isolating and relentless life of caregiving, alcohol often serves as a welcome distraction from what we really need.

 

01:09:01:07 - 01:09:46:09

Erin Croyle

Respite, support, empathy, space to be seen. It muddies our crystal clear view of the injustice our children face, offering relief from a sometimes brutal reality. Unfortunately, the solace that booze brings is temporary and toxic, often creating more problems. In addition to the long term cancer risk. The immediate impact of alcohol use can lead to anxiety, irritability, agitation, lethargy, depression, impairment, poor judgment, and a whole host of other things that can make caregiving more difficult.

 

01:09:46:11 - 01:10:25:16

Erin Croyle

And of course, if you're unable to recognize that alcohol use is exacerbating what ails you, a cycle is established drinking to ease what ails you in turn causing more ailment, which leads to more drinking, which can lead to problem drinking and eventually potentially dependence. So what's a caregiver to do? Given what we know about the dangers of alcohol use and the demands placed on lifelong caregivers, we owe it to ourselves and to our loved ones to take a closer look at our consumption.

 

01:10:25:18 - 01:11:01:18

Erin Croyle

There are many self-assessment tools available online, and I'll put a few in the show notes. You just need to be brutally honest with yourself when you take them. Most importantly, know that there is absolutely no shame in needing help. Alcohol is an addictive drug. Building tolerance and dependence is more common than we know because it's pretty much the only drug out there that is not only socially acceptable to use, but encouraged to use virtually everywhere we go.

 

01:11:01:20 - 01:11:30:23

Erin Croyle

That whole rock bottom, sloppy alcoholic image is just a caricature ized version of what problem drinking is. More realistic versions of problem drinkers are all around us. It could be you. It was me drinking alone. Drinking early in the day, thinking you should come back or moderate. These are all indications that it might be time to stop. As difficult as cutting back can be.

 

01:11:31:02 - 01:12:13:07

Erin Croyle

Finding help is easier than ever. Almost every kind of support out there is available in multiple formats. In-person person online apps on your phone. Anything from Alcoholics Anonymous to mindfulness to sober blogs, to sober challenges to therapies, to groups, to coaching, to books. Something is bound to resonate and help you figure out what works for you. And what I can tell you from personal experience is once you pull yourself out and you stop when you wake up in the morning, it feels amazing.

 

01:12:13:09 - 01:12:34:18

Erin Croyle

And every day that you wake up that you didn't drink the night before, it just feels more and more free and more and more awake and alive. And you just wonder why you didn't do it sooner.

 

01:12:34:20 - 01:12:58:22

Erin Croyle

Thank you, listeners, for joining us. Check out the show notes for those self-assessment tools for statistics info, How to find help and feel free to reach out to me about any questions you might have. I'm an open book and be sure to share a review. Subscribe like follow. Or whatever it is you need so you get a ping when our next show drops.

 

01:12:58:24 - 01:13:06:21

Erin Croyle

This is The Odyssey. Parenting, Caregiving, Disability. I'm Erin Croyle. We'll talk soon.