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Selfish and Self-Centered - Recovered 648

Recovered Podcast

Release Date: 11/18/2015

Step 2 - Recovered 1101 show art Step 2 - Recovered 1101

Recovered Podcast

This is the beginning of the end, in a way. You will end your old life and begin your fresh one, committed to faith – faith in whatever you choose.

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Step 1 - Recovered 1099 show art Step 1 - Recovered 1099

Recovered Podcast

The first step in 12 step recovery programs involves more than just admitting that there is a problem. It means breaking through the denial that has kept the person locked in their misery. The individual has to accept that they have been beaten by their addiction. The exact wording of this step is:

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Having Hobbies in Recovery - Recovered 1098 show art Having Hobbies in Recovery - Recovered 1098

Recovered Podcast

If people feel that their life has no meaning and purpose they will find it impossible to build a successful life in recovery. During their years of addiction the focus would have been on obtaining and using their drug of choice. It is therefore vital that they replace this hole in their life with something new. The more meaning that people find in recovery the less likely it will be that they will relapse.

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Relapse and Coming Back In - Recovered 1097 show art Relapse and Coming Back In - Recovered 1097

Recovered Podcast

Relapse is not uncommon. Some people find it difficult to overcome their addictive behaviors for the long term. Once clean, the addict can easily fall back into old practices and habits. Recovery requires commitment, discipline and a network of support. The old adage “it takes a village” is clearly demonstrated in recovery. But those of us who have relapsed, coming back into the village of recovery can be difficult.

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Recovered Podcast

Humans are obviously not perfect; everyone will have their flaws and weaknesses. It is only when these imperfections lead to suffering that there is a real cause for concern. Most people will have many minor character defects, and a few major ones. It will be these major flaws that will cause them the most problems in life.

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Service to others might be the key to staying sober. In recent years, a growing body of research has found that helping others brings measurable physical and psychological benefits to the helper. Studies have shown that addicts who help others, even in small ways—such as calling others to remind them about meetings or making coffee—can significantly improve their chances of staying sober and avoiding relapse, among adults and adolescents alike.

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Perfectionism and substance use often go together. Perfectionism can also make recovery much harder, since as with other things, perfectionists typically expect too much too soon and are unforgiving of their own mistakes. Perfectionism is a difficult problem to overcome, but with persistent effort, you can loosen its grip on you.

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Complacency can be defined as a feeling of contentment or self-satisfaction, especially when coupled with an unawareness of danger, trouble, or controversy. To say an individual is acting complacently means that they are taking things for granted. When an individual becomes complacent they no longer feel that they need to work in order to find success in life – they view it as something they have already earned.

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Do you know anyone who is reliable? Honest? Capable? Strong? Are you feeling trustworthy yourself?

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The Big Book

The 12 and 12

24 Hours a Day

As a self-centered person,

I only see myself as the centre of everything

At my worst,

I do not consider what my actions would mean to others.

The big book says that

being self-centered is  

in direct conflict with our new way of living in recovery.

Let’s start with self-centeredness Chrissy

What does being self-centered mean to you?

How has recovery helped?

How does self-centeredness manifest itself today?

What part of the program do you use to combat this?

When I’m acting selfish

I want to receive more than give.

When I’m really sick,

I will give only if I think

that the return will be larger than my giving

But the book says…

Selfishness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.

The Book also says…

Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us!

So this is about as important of a subject as it gets.

What is selfishness to you and how does it differ from being self-centered?

What part of the program helps to defeat this selfishness?

Has the program made you less selfish than before?  How?

What does “This is a selfish program” mean to you.

How do you know when you have gone from self care to selfishness?

How do you do self care?

How do you know when self care has moved into being selfish?

Lance

https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_DLoz1FHILe93CMmQl3d_tdol2kSFX2keYbYbfE8-cKibyxr56Ot9OmCiboRtQJPz_t9_z9PHretRt3Rxd9PUtAtcD81sWZR8dbxQrnFvKE6brUIZlWw86CWjhmt_yBIGDyV5mwY49kGW66vsT3h566bot1DA

Zach

https://www.google.com/voice/fm/00557165274674955804/AHwOX_AHgYNTToSkXpauq_sgkbFDywNVm86OxFMmSFVNeAtL3q4oZRb3bZTiaAJwq64_l1dUFtarzqG_bBA_SjJjICD31wh8zfwt3A99pr-IlHSv9IFFJflUY9rvs0L7Ya8aVP75W7Vw0Cjqtwdy8Tb7k7gdGeYx0g

Who would you rather be around,

Self-centered Mark or

Selfish Mark

Why?

If this character defect is so dangerous, would you point it out in someone else if you spot it?

How would you do that?