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Ep. 37: How To Help Children And Teens Grieving A Violent Death

Grief Out Loud

Release Date: 07/05/2016

Were You Close? Always A Sibling With Annie Sklaver Orenstein show art Were You Close? Always A Sibling With Annie Sklaver Orenstein

Grief Out Loud

In this episode we talk with , author of Always A Sibling: The Forgotten Mourners. Annie talks about her older brother, Ben, who died when he was deployed in Afghanistan, and how his sudden death reshaped her understanding of grief and loss. They discuss the unique challenges of sibling loss and how Annie ultimately decided to write the book she wished she had when Ben died. We Discuss: Annie’s relationship with her brother Ben and his role in her life The day Annie learned of Ben’s death and the immediate aftermath How grief intersected with anxiety The unique and often overlooked...

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What Remains: Rupert Callender on Grief, Rituals, and Redefining Funerals show art What Remains: Rupert Callender on Grief, Rituals, and Redefining Funerals

Grief Out Loud

In this episode, we talk with , author of . Ru shares his personal experience with profound childhood loss to becoming a self-proclaimed radical undertaker. We also discuss the impact of grief at different life stages, how participation in funerals can be helpful for children, and reimagining rituals to accurately reflect the life of the person who died. Main topics: Parental Loss and Early Grief: Ru reflects on the loss of his father at age 7 and his mother in his 20s, sharing how these defining losses shaped his perspective on death and grief. Boarding School and Emotional Austerity:...

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Shatterproof: Telling The Truth About Grief with Lauren Sisler show art Shatterproof: Telling The Truth About Grief with Lauren Sisler

Grief Out Loud

Grief can be shattering - and it can also reveal unexpected strength and resilience. In this episode, we’re joined by , award-winning sports broadcaster, ESPN Sideline reporter, and author of . Lauren shares her powerful story of losing her parents, who died within hours of each other during her freshman year of college, and how grief, fear, and shame, kept her from telling her story.  Lauren discusses:  The initial shock of loss.  How grief evolved for her over the years and the tools that helped.  The power of sharing her story and connecting...

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It's Okay That It's Not The Same - Grief At The Holidays show art It's Okay That It's Not The Same - Grief At The Holidays

Grief Out Loud

[This episode originally aired December, 2023] This time of year can be grueling for anyone, but particularly for those who are grieving. So, each year we put out an episode to help you feel less alone and hopefully more equipped to traverse the next few weeks. Today's guest, Melissa Peede Thompson, M.S., is a Grief Services Coordinator at Dougy Center. While she has lots of professional knowledge in this realm, we asked her to talk about her personal experience of grieving during the holidays. Melissa was six when her sister died of gun violence. She was 13 when her father died in a...

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It Can Be So Awkward - Holidays & Grief show art It Can Be So Awkward - Holidays & Grief

Grief Out Loud

It's our annual holidays and grief episode! In the past we've focused on more tangible tips and suggestions for supporting kids, teens, and adults during this time of year. This year we decided to focus on one person's lived experience with how the holidays can get really awkward when grief is involved. Ana Salazar-Walsh was just nineteen when her father died in a mountain climbing accident. A few months later, it was the first holiday season after his death, but it was actually the third Christmas in a row shadowed by grief. Two years earlier, her father left their family to start a new one...

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Grieving While Parenting - Reshma Kearney show art Grieving While Parenting - Reshma Kearney

Grief Out Loud

When Reshma Kearney's husband Sean died of suicide, her immediate concern was their three young children. She needed to figure out how to talk to them about his death - and his life - all while meeting their emotional and physical needs. Pretty quickly she realized her needs also had to be met so she could keep showing up for them. Reshma and her kids had an established mindfulness practice before Sean's death and those practices became integral for tending to their grief and finding ways to keep engaging with life.  Note: this episode discusses suicide. If you or someone you know is...

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They Are Part Of Our Family - Grieving A Pet show art They Are Part Of Our Family - Grieving A Pet

Grief Out Loud

In May of 2024, Christine Passo's beloved dog, Maya Ray, took her last breath in Christine's arms. This wasn't the first time Christine experienced loss or trauma, but the grief she felt and continues to feel for Maya Ray caught her off guard with its intensity and depth. We talk about Maya Ray's last day, how Christine's other dog, Zoe, grieved, and how Christine and her partner are finding ways to continue honoring Maya Ray's life and her place in their family.  is a coach who specializes in supporting women through life changes, many of which come with grief. She is also the co-author...

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Let's Hear It For The Kids - Grief In Their Own Words show art Let's Hear It For The Kids - Grief In Their Own Words

Grief Out Loud

In honor of month, we asked kids and teens to talk about grief in their own words. This compilation episode includes clips from children and teens reflecting on their people who died, their varied responses to loss, and what they hope grief will feel like in future.  Thank you to all the children and teens who contributed to this episode - and to their parents and caregivers for facilitating the recording process.  Want to learn more? Register now for Dougy Center's Children's Grief Awareness Day webinar. Thursday, November 21st, 2024 - 10 - 11:30 am PST  Be part of our ...

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Losing Them More Than Once - When Your Ex Dies show art Losing Them More Than Once - When Your Ex Dies

Grief Out Loud

No one is perfect and no one is just one story, but how do you grieve when the person who died was so different than the person you fell in love with? When Jenn met and fell in love with Jesse, she never imagined their relationship would unravel due to his struggles with mental health and alcohol use disorder. Jesse died in 2020 and Jenn's been left to reconcile the man she loved with the one she eventually had to leave. His death also left her unsure where her grief fits in the world of bereavement and how to support their son, whose grief is complicated by the impact his father's illness had...

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"We Never Talked About Her Again" - Susan Lieu & The Manicurist's Daughter

Grief Out Loud

, is a Vietnamese-American author, playwright, and performer. When Susan was 11 years old, her mother died from a routine plastic surgery. After she died, Susan's family stopped talking about her mother, leaving Susan on her own to figure out what happened and how to feel. Susan's debut memoir, recounts her quest to get to know her mother, avenge her death, and try with all her might to get her family to open up about it all. Susan is a compelling and accomplished storyteller, co-hosting  podcast and speaking at , the Smithsonian, and at universities and companies across the...

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More Episodes

Whether it is a murder, murder-suicide, or a being killed by a driver under the influence, violent death adds multiple layers of complexity to grief. Jana and Joan discuss what children and teens may experience, along with suggestions for how to help. For additional information, refer to our Tip Sheet: Supporting Children and Teens After a Violent Death and our interactive workbook for children. For help with talking to children about mass shootings and other large-scale tragedies, we have two resources written by The Dougy Center's Senior Director for Advocacy and Training, Donna Schuurman, Ed.D., F.T. 1) Dear Lily: a letter to a 12-year old in response to America's most recent tragedy and 2) Talking with children about tragic events.