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Waiting For the Other Shoe to Drop - Recovered 986

Recovered Podcast

Release Date: 04/03/2019

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Recovered Podcast

Making the list is one thing. Become willing to actually make amends to those harmed is another. It can be a very humbling, but growing experience, to actually admit wrong-doing, especially to the person harmed. But the process can relieve those trying to recover from so much guilt!

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Recovered Podcast

We have taken the very difficult moral inventory and admitted to our wrongdoings to ourselves, our higher power and to another human being. It’s now time to remove those wrongdoings from our everyday lives and we need help to ensure that we completely remove our shortcomings and don’t continue to fall victim to any of addiction’s ill effects.

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Recovered Podcast

The sixth step can bring about significant and very noticeable change when it comes to the thought patterns and behavior that have been with us for a long time. It doesn’t happen overnight obviously, and there is nothing like perfection when working the twelve steps of AA. It’s about making a commitment and being content with patient improvement.

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Recovered Podcast

Step Four has prepared you for step five, and by finding the courage to overcome that fear of rejection or the shame of your inventory, you experience honesty on a deeper level than in your first step of admission, and you break the pattern of denial that often plagues those suffering with alcoholism.

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Recovered Podcast

While working on our step inventories we get a new perspective on the bigger picture, on patterns, selfishness, our responsibility in situations and in this process we are building up an accurate self-appraisal with true self-worth as the reward.

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Recovered Podcast

When working on step three we take a look at how acting on self-will means behaving with the exclusion of any consideration for others, focusing only on what we want and ignoring the needs and feelings of others. While we were busy pursuing these impulses, we mostly left a path of destruction behind us, and we definitely lost touch with our conscience and a Higher Power.

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This is the beginning of the end, in a way. You will end your old life and begin your fresh one, committed to faith – faith in whatever you choose.

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The first step in 12 step recovery programs involves more than just admitting that there is a problem. It means breaking through the denial that has kept the person locked in their misery. The individual has to accept that they have been beaten by their addiction. The exact wording of this step is:

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If people feel that their life has no meaning and purpose they will find it impossible to build a successful life in recovery. During their years of addiction the focus would have been on obtaining and using their drug of choice. It is therefore vital that they replace this hole in their life with something new. The more meaning that people find in recovery the less likely it will be that they will relapse.

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Relapse is not uncommon. Some people find it difficult to overcome their addictive behaviors for the long term. Once clean, the addict can easily fall back into old practices and habits. Recovery requires commitment, discipline and a network of support. The old adage “it takes a village” is clearly demonstrated in recovery. But those of us who have relapsed, coming back into the village of recovery can be difficult.

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We all know about the “other shoe” and how we’re supposed to wait for it to drop.  There are two basic assumptions in this expression. The first is that the drop of the second shoe is inevitable.  The other assumption is that the drop of the second shoe is usually something bad.

For us alcoholics, it is common that we periodically experience a sense of foreboding that positive situations will not last. In our experiences as alcoholics, bad things can and do happen. In tangible ways, in ways that have been a result of our own behavior.

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For Al-Anons, the trauma of active alcoholism real and horrific. Fear and anxiety can be common companiangs for the Al-Anon as they look to their future with a hypothetical relapse of a sober loved as part of that future.

Tonight, we talk about it. We talk about waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Let’s address the mail first,
Let’s turn to you first Anna, as a person who lived through my alcoholism and early recovery.
What are your first thoughts about this email?
How did you plan for your future when I was new?
What about the impact of my active alcoholism on our marriage especially when I was new?
How about now when you think about the negative impact my drinking had on the family?

Ok Luiz, coming to you
Any thoughts on the email or the discussion that Anna and I just had?

What does waiting for the other shoe to drop men to you?
Have you experienced it?
How does it manifest for you?
What character defects are working when this happens?
How can the program help?

Do you live with dread?
What was it like when you were new?
What helped then?

What is it about being an alcoholic that makes us vulnerable?
What makes the al-anon vulnerable to this syndrome?

_______________________________________________________
We asked our listeners about this topic.

We asked,
"What do you think has contributed to your experiencing "waiting for the other shoe to drop" syndrome?”

Did you take the survey?

https://www.surveymonkey.com/analyze/7imA53axNzGUPk8Ya9JfNVWaFzFMUbjiNBRYKPnwRAwE_2FUyuDq1XnkSDh70eHpB8

What would be your answer?
________________________________________________________

Do you think your drinking behavior has created this syndrome in others?
What can you do about this?
What part of the program can help?

What things, what trauma, has occurred in your life that may have contributed to you “waiting for the other shoe?”
How do you cope?

We are about solutions here at the Recovered Podcast. So let’s talk about some suggestions that I have found.

First up. Try being Present and being mindful.
How does being mindful help?
How does being present help?
What slogan comes to mind here?

2. Next suggestion is to “Try savoring life”.
That is, meditate on positive emotions or events. For example, I can take several minutes, and relive my whole vacation to ireland. Town by town, remembering the names of each town,, the sites, the smells, the spiritual experience, the positive life affirming conversations with really awesome people…
Why do you think this may be of help for some?

3. Introduce some logic to your thoughts.
Sometimes our thoughts can run away from us, going down a path that we know isn’t logical or helpful.

In the case of anticipating something negative, I’ve found that I can best stop the thoughts with this simple reasoning: “Yes, it is inevitable that something bad will happen at some point, but I don’t know when or where. So, I might as well enjoy what I’m feeling now so later I won’t regret not having enjoyed that time when things were going well.”

4. Practice gratitude.
Being aware of what we have in our lives orients us to the present. We can always find something or someone to appreciate, and in showing this appreciation we gain an increased awareness of its beauty.

5. Spend time with people who also like to live fully.

What would you say to the new person about waiting for the other shoe to drop?

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