Feeling Squeezed? Caring for a Parent with Dementia while Raising Your Young Family
My Spouse Has Dementia
What’s it like to be the caregiver for your parents while raising a young family of your own, and your wife is pregnant? Not easy! Healthcare journalist Paul Wynn writes about caregiving issues for more than 70 national publications. He also knows what it’s like to be a caregiver, sandwiched between two generations. That personal story is the subject of "Surviving the Sandwich Generation Years: How to Balance Caring for Parents While Raising Kids", one of twenty-two stories in the award-winning anthology, The Caregiver's Advocate: A Complete Guide to Support and Resources,...
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AI Resurrects Your Dead Loved One: A Miracle? Or Emotional Whiplash?
My Spouse Has Dementia
Imagine you open your computer, strike a few keys, and there’s your spouse…who died three years ago – like my husband did. You aren’t looking at a photo. Or a video. No. This is more like Zoom or Facetime. The image you see looks, acts, and moves just like your spouse. Sounds like your spouse, too. You stare in disbelief as the image smiles and says, “Honey, I’ve missed you.” What’s your gut reaction? An AI miracle? Or emotional whiplash? This past August, I received an email from a man who described a new AI platform he had created. He described the...
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The Child Inside the Caregiver: How Your Childhood Attachments Shape Your Caregiving
My Spouse Has Dementia
Your loved one is diagnosed with dementia. While you focus on symptoms, tasks and decisions, a long-standing pattern from your childhood is being triggered. That pattern will shape your caregiving style. That childhood pattern is also being triggered in your loved one. Understanding the pattern can help you understand your loved one's behavior. Understanding can lead to compassion for your loved one and for yourself. From her book, Dementia, Caregiving & Personal History: How to Help, Cope, Connect, and Heal, author Tami Anastasia writes: "Our earliest relationships influence how we...
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Love, Dementia, and Intimacy: How Alzheimer's Changes Marriage
My Spouse Has Dementia
You will never regret being kind to your spouse. In a strong marriage, the sexual expression of love is the sinew that ties two hearts together and forms the kind of bond we depend on to get us through life's greatest challenges. As we age, the intensity of physical passion burns more ember than flame, but the bonds of love can be just as strong, even stronger, than ever. Alzheimer's forces a wedge in the relationship. Caregiver stress is more devastating than you imagined. Frustration and Anger barge into your home and wreak havoc in your daily world. Anticipatory grief destroys...
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Laugh, Breathe, Survive: Improv for Caregivers
My Spouse Has Dementia
You know that caring for a loved one with Alzheimer's or other form of dementia can leave your mind confused, your body exhausted, and your spirit depressed. Yes, and what if I said there's something simple that might help you survive the caregiving journey? Yes, and what if I said this something is fun and free? I'm talking about improvisational theater, "improv" for short. Imagine a group of people on stage, making up a comedy skit as they go along. No experience required for what I'm suggesting in this episode. I've been talking with my nephew, Stephen Gillikin, co-founder of an...
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My Two Elaines - A Governor's Dementia Caregiving Love Story
My Spouse Has Dementia
“None of the books I read conveyed the ugly truth about caregiving: that it can destroy you – even kill you – if you go about it wrong.” That's just a taste of the hard-hitting reality conveyed by author Martin (Marty) Schreiber in his memoir, "My Two Elaines." Elaine was Marty's highschool sweetheart and wife of 62 years when she died from Alzheimer's. As a former governor, Marty was prepared for the political responsibilities focused on leading the State of Wisconson. As a loving husband to a wife with Alzheimer's, he floundered. Marty talks bluntly about several aspects of...
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Care, Camera, Courage: One Husband's Dementia Story
My Spouse Has Dementia
At part of their daughter's wedding ceremony, Heather was supposed to give their daughter a necklace that had once belonged to Heather's mother. Heather's husband, John, talks about what it was like when he and his daughter realized Heather had not brought the jewelry. "Our daughter actually took me aside before the ceremony and said, 'Dad, I've been wondering about something and I have to ask. Does mom just not care anymore or does she have dementia or something?'" In four short years, John Van Gurp watched his loving wife, Heather, fade from a beautiful, vibrant, creative, multi-tasker...
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Visited Mom Today - An Interview with Author John D. Scully
My Spouse Has Dementia
For 13 years, John Scully visited his mom in a nursing home. For the last 8 years of her life, she couldn’t talk. So he had other conversations. And they became a book. It’s called Visited Mom Today: Conversations Through the Lens of Alzheimer’s and Dementia. Mentioned in the podcast: - The website of author John D. Scully , a podcast that interviews authors of dementia caregiving memoirs.
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How I Survived Dementia Care: Truth, Resilience, and Walter Cronkite
My Spouse Has Dementia
I grew up listening to Walter Cronkite. He signed off each nightly newscast with “And that’s the way it is.” As a kid, I was often alarmed by the news. But I reasoned that if Walter Cronkite respected me enough to tell me the truth, then I could handle it. Yes, my reasoning was flawed. Mr. Cronkite didn’t know me. In this episode, I share deeply personal stories from my childhood. That's when my first caregiving experience really began. Both of my parents had enough confidence in me to tell me the truth, even at five years old. Still, decades later, Mr. Cronkite's respect...
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The Caregiver You Love Needs Help!
My Spouse Has Dementia
This episode is a message for the caregiver to send to someone else, someone who doesn't know, or doesn't understand, the stress the caregiver is going through. I liken that stress to driving alone, in an old car, up a steep mountain on a narrow, twisting road with no place to pull off. There are no guardrails. The caregiver's spouse is at the top of that mountain, dying. I created this episode especially for the caregiver whose spouse has Alzheimer's or other form of dementia. While statistics vary, approximately 40% of family dementia caregivers die first -- meaning, the...
info_outlineThis episode is a message for the caregiver to send to someone else, someone who doesn't know, or doesn't understand, the stress the caregiver is going through.
I liken that stress to driving alone, in an old car, up a steep mountain on a narrow, twisting road with no place to pull off. There are no guardrails. The caregiver's spouse is at the top of that mountain, dying.
I created this episode especially for the caregiver whose spouse has Alzheimer's or other form of dementia. While statistics vary, approximately 40% of family dementia caregivers die first -- meaning, the caregiver dies before the person with dementia dies. Stress can be deadly.
If you are not a caregiver, but you love someone who is, you might think of the caregiver as a strong person, someone who can "handle it." Don't be fooled. Many caregivers are simply too proud to ask for help.
In this episode, I share some of the stressful situations I confronted in caring for my husband. He died of Alzheimer's. I also offer ways to help the caregiver you love.
I also invite listeners to contact me via email or voice mail (go to https://myspousehasdementia.com) and let me know what obstacles you face in trying to help the caregiver you love.