4 Practices to Create a Feel-Good Reality

There are times when you learn something, and it’s like a whole new world is unlocked for you. The information that I’m going to share with you today was like that for me. It changed my life and saved my relationship. No joke.

 

Don’t get me wrong. What I learned was not a quick fix. It was a way of understanding our individual life experiences.  

 

When I first learned about NLP, my partner and I were headed toward a breakup. The NLP principles I learned completely changed my perspective of what I had previously labeled as “incompatibility.” That was seven years ago. And Ron and I are still together. Happily. 

 

What changed? I became aware of the following:

 

• Scientists estimate that your unconscious mind takes in 2-11 million bits of information per second, while your conscious mind can process only 50-60 of those bits.
• The 50-60 bits of information that reach your consciousness do so via your unconscious filters. 
• The bulk of the information that reaches your unconscious mind is deleted. The rest is sorted, distorted, and generalized so that it “fits” what ideas and beliefs you already have, and the 50-60 bits are filtered through to your conscious mind.  
• Ideas that you already had are reinforced and put in long-term memory, and new ideas are put in short-term memory, and unless they are reinforced, get discarded. 
• An “internal representation” is what you're left with after those surviving bits have been through multiple unconscious filters. Your “internal representations” are your perception of reality, but, in fact, those perceptions are only your unique representations of reality.

 

Once I understood these things, I realized how two people could have completely different perceptions of a shared experience. Even if our unconscious mind selected the very same 50-60 bits of information for every second of an entire day, we don’t share the same filters. And so my experience is never going to match that of someone else’s.

Here’s where I decided to be patient with others and with myself. I also began to realize just how unique and special each person’s perspective is. 

 

I learned a few more things.

 

• My filtered experiences lead to internal representations that lead to an emotional state, which then has an effect on my physiology, which then affects my behavior, which determines my outcomes. The impact of our filters and internal representations on our outcomes cannot be overstated. Being aware of this sequence is the first step to creating positive change in your life.
• Carl Jung taught that perception is projection, meaning that we project onto the world all of our unconscious material. We cannot see anything outside of us that is not us. (Now, don’t worry. Just because you have an interaction with a jerk doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re a jerk. Maybe that experience reminds you that you feel powerless in some situations. Be gentle with yourself as you consider the perception-is-projection theory.)

 

While this information changed my life and saved my relationship, I’m not going to ask you to adopt these ideas. I would, though, like for you to try some things and just see if they make a positive difference in your life. 

 

• Focus on what you want intensely in a positive, feel-good way. This will train those filters to bring the good stuff into your consciousness.
• When unpleasant stuff comes into your consciousness, just tell your unconscious mind, “Reject, delete.” 
• When good stuff comes into your awareness, say, “More of that, unconscious mind.”
• Say it the way you want it. 
• Instead of “I should,” “I have to,” “I need to,” say, “I get to,” “I want to,” “I will.”
• Take action
• What behaviors does an aligned business owner engage in?
• How do they engage in their day-to-day experience?
• What activities do they do?
• What disciplines do they adopt?
• Be at cause."I'm going to assume, accept, embrace, honor and find power in the notion that I am the sum total of my conscious and unconscious choices. And that means that there are some things that I've done that I wish I hadn't done, and that's okay. I did the best I could with what I knew, but now that I know better, I can do better.”

 

If you do these four things, your life experience cannot help but change in a positive way. I hope that you feel the power that you have to mold your life experience into something that is beautiful, impactful, full of meaning and joy. Your life experience can be what you want it to be.

 

Thanks for listening!

 

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