Montecito Confidential: A Travel Guide for the Budget-Conscious and Status-Curious
Awkward Etiquette: Old Money & New Manners
Release Date: 08/06/2025
Elegance: Old Money, Swans, and Sprezzatura (A Social Anthropology)
Awkward Etiquette: Old Money & New Manners
What is the invisible quality that separates the merely rich from the truly refined? In this foundational episode of Awkward Etiquette, Auntie Kiki goes beyond surface-level aesthetics to deconstruct the psychology and social anthropology of true elegance. We often confuse elegance with luxury, but history tells a different story. From the stoic discipline of Ancient Rome to the "sprezzatura" of the Renaissance and the silent power of Truman Capote’s "Swans," you will learn why elegance has always been a survival skill, not just a fashion statement. This episode is a deep dive into the...
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Acquired, perhaps, but never bought: a discussion on Taste
Awkward Etiquette: Old Money & New Manners
Is taste inherited, learned, or just a synonym for money? In this definitive episode of the Awkward Etiquette trilogy, Kiki Astor dismantles the biggest myth in high society: that wealth buys discernment. This week, we move beyond which fork to use and delve into the philosophical core of elegance. We explore why the richest person in the room often has the worst taste, why "class" and "taste" are actually opposing forces, and why true refinement is about editing, not accumulating. From the psychology of "new money" anxiety to the quiet confidence of "old money" interiors, Kiki breaks down how...
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The Masterclass on Class: What class really is, and why it matters.
Awkward Etiquette: Old Money & New Manners
In this episode of Awkward Etiquette with Kiki Astor, we tackle one of the most uncomfortable—and misunderstood—topics in modern society: class. Not money. Not income. Not net worth. Class. From ancient Rome and Greece to modern Europe and North America, this episode explores how class has historically functioned as a system of behavior, duty, values, and conduct—not merely consumption. We trace how class evolved through feudal societies, the rise of the bourgeoisie, Victorian morality, and America’s enduring myth of classlessness, revealing why pretending class no longer exists has...
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You’re Either In or You’re Out: Exclusion, Power, and the Psychology of Belonging
Awkward Etiquette: Old Money & New Manners
Why does exclusion hurt so much—and why has every functioning society depended on it? In this episode of Awkward Etiquette with Kiki Astor, Kiki dismantles the modern fantasy that “everyone belongs” and reveals exclusion as one of the oldest, most stable organizing principles of social life. Drawing on history, psychology, etiquette, and elite social systems—from Mrs. Astor’s 400 to Palm Beach clubs, London blackballing, and members-only cultures—this episode explains how gates, silence, and unspoken rules actually create coherence, trust, and power. You’ll learn: Why exclusion...
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Real Resolutions for 2026: Old Money, New Manners, and the Quiet Power of Not Explaining Yourself
Awkward Etiquette: Old Money & New Manners
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Elegant Chaos: Why Old Money Never Has a Perfect Christmas
Awkward Etiquette: Old Money & New Manners
For the final episode of the season of Awkward Etiquette Old Money and New Manners, Auntie Kiki invites you into the most intimate setting of all: the floor by the Christmas tree, wrapping gifts imperfectly and talking you down from the holiday panic spiral. This conversational season finale explores why old money traditions never revolve around a perfect Christmas and why elegance, confidence, and connection matter far more than flawless décor or curated aesthetics. In this holiday etiquette episode, Kiki breaks down the modern obsession with getting Christmas “right,” from symmetrical...
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The Old Money Villain: Vampires, Exclusion & The Art of the "Ice Queen"
Awkward Etiquette: Old Money & New Manners
Vampires are back—but in 2025, they aren’t sleeping in coffins. They’re chairing the board, running the estate, and freezing you out of the conversation with a polite smile. In this episode of Awkward Etiquette, Kiki Astor dissects the ultimate social archetype: The Old Money Villain. Drawing from her novel Scarlet Fever and the terrifying "Sangren" family, Kiki explores why we are culturally obsessed with wealthy monsters (think Succession, The White Lotus, and The Perfect Couple) and why the scariest people aren’t loud—they’re just insulated. If you’ve ever felt frozen out by...
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The old money holiday survival guide: Manners, Social Skills, and Style Tips with Kiki Astor
Awkward Etiquette: Old Money & New Manners
Step into the holidays with old-money elegance, unbothered poise, and a velvet-lined sense of humor in this special episode of Awkward Etiquette with Kiki Astor. In this Holiday Social Survival Guide, Kiki shares the discreet, never-spoken-aloud strategies that generational families use to glide through December gracefully—even when surrounded by chaos, questions, poorly behaved relatives, and peppermint bark they did not ask for. This episode covers 30 old-money-coded micro-manners, including: • Holiday dressing secrets (two uniforms, heritage prints, effortless grooming) • How to look...
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Emeralds, Envy, and Etiquette: The Secret Language of Old Money Green
Awkward Etiquette: Old Money & New Manners
In this jewel-box episode of Awkward Etiquette: Old Money & New Manners, old money and etiquette expert and author of the Virginia foxhunting dark old money gothic novel Scarlet Fever Kiki Astor takes you on a richly layered tour of Old Money Green—the color that has shaped centuries of taste, architecture, interiors, jewelry, fashion, and even social behavior. From the deep, secretive gloss of Charleston Green, rumored to be a begrudging compromise from the post-Civil War era, to the storied Kelly Green of The Greenbrier, to Elsie de Wolfe’s iconic soft greens in her legendary drawing...
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An old money style Thanksgiving on a budget entertaining hacks and etiquette tips for the rest of us. Awkward Etiquette season 4 Ep 24
Awkward Etiquette: Old Money & New Manners
info_outlinePlanning a visit to Montecito—or just dying to know what really goes on behind those wrought-iron gates and hedges? In this week’s episode, etiquette maven and nouveau pauvre insider Kiki Astor shares the ultimate Montecito travel guide: one part luxury lifestyle handbook, one part whispered society scandal sheet. This week, Kiki Astor is celebrating the publication of her steamy romance novel, Service Entrance, ste in Montecito, and believe us when we say she has done her research.
From where old money and new money brunch, to the best ocean views and cultural landmarks, to secret hideaways where the truly rich go to disappear—this is your invitation inside Montecito’s most rarefied addresses. Expect cheeky commentary, high society etiquette tips, and very specific advice on how not to get mistaken for staff (unless you are the staff, in which case… good luck).
Whether you’re heading to Montecito, California for a glamorous weekend getaway, considering a move to the Santa Barbara coast, or simply craving the inside scoop on status symbols, social codes, and the old money aesthetic—this episode is your passport to privilege.
Highlights include:
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Where real Montecito locals eat, shop, hike, and hide from houseguests
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The difference between tourist traps and truly chic spots
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What to pack to look rich, relaxed, and unbothered (even if you’re none of those things)
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Travel etiquette for blending in with the old guard
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How to signal you belong—without saying a word
From the Rosewood Miramar to Coast Village Road, Kiki’s giving you the real story on where to go, what to wear, and what not to do if you want to pass the invisible Montecito social test.
Bookmark this one before you so much as whisper “Miramar.” Your summer status depends on it.