Ep. 16 - Forgiving Myself

Have you ever felt like you took the blame for someone else's actions? Maybe you've been in a situation with a difficult person, an "ogre," as we'll call them here, who caused turmoil in your life. It's natural to wonder if you could have done something differently, but the truth is, you can't change other people. The good news? You can change how you view yourself in the situation. This episode is about the power of self-forgiveness. We'll explore why letting go of blame and embracing self-compassion is essential. We'll also learn practical techniques to help you forgive yourself and move forward. So ditch the self-criticism and get ready for a healthy dose of self-love. We’ll even discover the magic of a good self-hug!

IN THIS EPISODE:

• [0:34] Susan invites you to give yourself a hug and thanks those who have supported her through life.

• [4:16] Susan says that part of her healing process was to forgive herself, and she discusses her mother’s ogres.

• [7:17] Susan believes that you must face your ogres to heal. She reflects on the ogres in her life and wants listeners to try a self-hug again while thinking of an ogre in their life.

• [13:38] It’s easier to say I’m not to blame than it is to forgive yourself, and we can’t control anxiety. You learn techniques to alleviate the uncomfortable feelings.

• [19:39] The bottom line is finding forgiveness, but what if you are the ogre?

• [23:27] Susan encourages you to forgive someone and face your ogres and would love to hear from you.
  

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

• We need to appreciate the people in our lives who help us understand our gifts and cultivate them. It feels like a safe hug.

• Part of coming to terms with ogres in your life is to face them. You don’t fight them or disparage them, you face them. 

• The ogres in our lives are generally not strangers; they are people we know and who are a part of our lives. 

QUOTES:

“I started doing yoga online. The first time the instructor had me hug myself, I cried. It was such an amazing experience to feel that deep, deep hug of myself when I remember my allies and everybody who has helped, loved and supported me to bring me to this moment in my life, to allow me to be present and show up with who I am.” Susan Gibson

“I see myself as brave and courageous and an active participant in my life, the life around me, and in my community. I've spoken before about my wariness with strangers but realized that my ogres were not strangers. Statistically speaking, our ogres are not generally strangers. They're somebody that we know who are trying to destroy us. Trying to think about what I could have done differently in a particular situation is destructive thinking. That's an internal ogre.” Susan Gibson

RESOURCES:

Susan Gibson - Email

ABOUT THE HOST:

Susan Gibson grew up in a small town in Northern Maine, the only surviving child of parents who married young and divorced young. From the influence of their shared experiences, Susan has learned two things that are core to who she is: the value of community and the power of having a voice.

Susan has spent her entire academic and professional career as a woman in tech, starting her career as a developer in the mid-80s and continuing today. She is CEO of Temenos+Agility, a management consulting company she co-founded with her partner, Siraj Sirajuddin. Together, they help enterprises transform organizationally and personally to find a more meaningful way to deliver value to their customers.

Susan frequently contributes to the Women in Tech (WiT) Regatta and speaks worldwide at public and private events. She uses her voice to grow communities of women, mentors and allies in tech. 

Susan has many lifelong pursuits: healthy eating, fitness, yoga and meditation, music, theater, opera, reading, movies, travel, family and friends. She is also rebuilding her family’s 110-year-old homestead in Northern Maine, a true labor of love.