Why do I do What I do?
Authentic Living
If you did something you didn't like, and I ask you why you did it, you might have to say, "I don't know why I did that." And, if we are honest, we might have to admit that there are things that we do, things that we say, even things that we think or feel, about which we might have to say, "Where did THAT come from?" These things are not "bad" things as much as they are just things we do without having to think about it. We just do it, because we do it. These things commonly come from something called a family trance. In our families of origin we often develop certain ways of thinking,...
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HOPE for 2026
Authentic Living
As we come to the end of 2025 and look back over the devastation and fear of more devastation that many, if not most, of us have experienced this year, it is hard to imagine feeling any hope for 2026. But there is hope. There is HOPE. This show will expose that hope for what it is and facilitate its expansion.
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Parent to Child Emotional Abuse
Authentic Living
Emotional abuse can be just as devastating as any other form of abuse. When parents or caregivers emotionally abuse a child, they are basically defining that child according to how they perceive that child. So, if a parent tells a child to stop feeling emotions, they are telling the child that emotions are not to be felt--defining the child as someone who will not allow themselves to feel emotions. That's just one example. There are many things that a parent can say/do to a child that define the child in ways that make life much more difficult for that child as they grow up. This podcast will...
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Perfectionism: A Form of Self-Harm
Authentic Living
Most of us would say that "No one is perfect." We say, "Strive for progress, not perfection." But even as we are saying that, many of us are still striving for perfection. Much of this is unconscious to us, but sometimes we recognize at least the tail end of this dragon when it shows up in our anxiety, even in our depression. Perfectionism births a loud and obnoxious inner critic that just will not let go. We know that when we live with someone who is hypercritical that this is a form of emotional abuse. But we do not realize that that same hypercritical voice is within us emotionally abusing...
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Why do I keep getting attracted to the wrong person?
Authentic Living
It's a question that gets asked every day. And it seems to be all about bad luck. Or maybe I'm just "screwed up." Or maybe I'll never be good enough to attract someone with whom I can really have a long-term healthy relationship. Well, if its any of those things it seems that it will just always have to be this way. But what if it doesn't? What if it's not just about being attracted to the wrong person, but about being stuck in the same pattern based on old unresolved issues? Resolving those issues then, might just mean that we can develop that relationship we have always wanted. Tune in to...
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Are You Really Who You Think You Are?
Authentic Living
It is very hard for us to compute, but it is possible to live out an identity--which we might even call a personality--that is not who we really are as a Self. That Self--with a capital S--is different from the self--with a lowercase s. The self is who we believe that we are as a personality, which often turns out to only be an identity. The Self is the deepest essence of who we really are. So, today, we are talking about the various identities, how they are formed, how they live out their introjections, how they interact with others and how they might start the pathway to the more authentic...
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Are You Being Emotionally Blackmailed?
Authentic Living
We tend to think of blackmail with regard only to its legal ramifications. And, of course, we know that blackmail is illegal, because it is a form of extortion. From a legal prespective, blackmail means prison time and/or fines because it attempts to coerce or force someone into doing something by threatening them in some way. Emotional blackmail is the same because it carries with it an emotional threat. But in the case of emotional blackmail, it is not so much the blackmailer that is imprisoned, but rather the person being emotionally blackmailed. Today we are discussing emotional blackmail...
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Healing the Wounds of Childhood
Authentic Living
Today we are talking to Dr. Don St. John, author of the book “Healing the Wounds of Childhood,” as this is one of the most important of all of the subjects we could discuss. Very often it is these wounds that keep us trapped, even as we are striving to get past them in some kind of way. WE simply do not realize how our past is invading our present. Or, if we do, we believe that those wounds somehow define us. How can we grow into our full potential while these wounds remain yet unhealed? How do we increase our ability to receive and absorb love, enjoy more life-giving love connections,...
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Andrew Solomon on loving difference
Authentic Living
From our 2015 talk with Andrew Solomon, writer and lecturer on psychology, politics, and the arts and winner of the National Book Award for "The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression." He is an activist in LGBTQ+ rights, mental health, and the arts. His NY Times bestselling book, and the subject of our interview today, entitled "Far from the Tree: Parents, Children and the Search for Identity," is also the winner of several awards, including being chosen at among the NY Times Ten Best Books of 2012. It has been called “A bold and unambiguous call to redefine how we view difference… A...
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Toxic Psychological Bargains
Authentic Living
It’s natural for us to want to get what we want. Unfortunately, we often use bargaining as a way to get what we want and to seek a sense of safety--that might not actually be safe. When we are trying to get to acceptance of any difficult reality, we might reach the stage in which we bargain. So, if I'm dying of cancer, I might bargain with life by saying "I'll never do that again if you just let me live." And this is natural, for we really want to live. However, bargaining can become toxic, in that it may keep us stuck in a ever shrinking loop of "IF I... THEN he'll...". We...
info_outlineEmotional abuse can be just as devastating as any other form of abuse. When parents or caregivers emotionally abuse a child, they are basically defining that child according to how they perceive that child. So, if a parent tells a child to stop feeling emotions, they are telling the child that emotions are not to be felt--defining the child as someone who will not allow themselves to feel emotions. That's just one example. There are many things that a parent can say/do to a child that define the child in ways that make life much more difficult for that child as they grow up. This podcast will briefly explain emotional abuse and talk about how an adult who has been emotionally abused as a child may find healing.