Adult Family Mediation with Halee Burg | Ep #25
2Sisters Speak: Surviving the Sandwich Generation
Release Date: 09/27/2022
Sorry Not Sorry! | Ep #49
2Sisters Speak: Surviving the Sandwich Generation
We all have regrets about many things in our lives at any given moment, but should we always say, “I’m sorry?” We were going to do a podcast apologizing for not having done a podcast since January, but why are we sorry? Whose expectations did we fall short of? Yours? Are you upset with us? And, if you feel we did fall short somehow, how much of an impact should we allow that to have on ourselves? What benefit could constantly feeling apologetic possibly have to help us do better? The change needs to start here. We regret not having released a podcast in a while, but decided that we...
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Something’s Gotta Give | Ep #48
2Sisters Speak: Surviving the Sandwich Generation
Are we all just hurdling ourselves through each day, again and again? When will things slow down and get a little easier? “Stop and smell the roses,” they say but, as sandwiched caregivers, we are moving so fast we don’t even notice any roses. Being busy is almost a status symbol nowadays. We tend to measure our value based on how productive we can be. We are feeling like we can never relax because there is always more to do. We tell ourselves that things will be easier ‘next week’ because it is too hard to acknowledge that we could feel this way indefinitely. As middle-aged,...
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Holidays with Toxic Relatives | Ep #47
2Sisters Speak: Surviving the Sandwich Generation
Being a sandwiched adult child during the holidays is extra hard because expectations are so high. This is the happiest time of the year, right? Who makes everything magical for everyone? (Hint: it’s not Santa). It’s us and it’s a lot of pressure right now especially around our toxic family members. Here are a few quick tips for surviving the holiday sandwich season. It is not required that you participate in every argument you are invited to. A family member not involved in the regular care of a loved one does not have the right to dismiss or minimize the experiences, capabilities or...
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Getting Along with the People We Depend On | Ep #46
2Sisters Speak: Surviving the Sandwich Generation
How do we make everything work as sisters, as parents, as adult children, as friends, and as business partners? In this episode we offer our best tips for getting along with the people you most depend on. We choose not to have unnecessary conflicts. It is humbling but also empowering to look at how much energy we spend either towards our goals or away from them. We purposefully let a lot slide in order to protect our complex relationship. We constantly reassess how much we each must deal with. Keeping our to-do lists fluid and checking it often allows us to reprioritize things for each other...
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How to Make Death Harder | Ep #45
2Sisters Speak: Surviving the Sandwich Generation
Grieving the loss of a loved one feels heavy and overwhelming in the best of circumstances. Many people have not considered beyond grieving how much work needs to be done by others after they pass away. It’s more than just not being willing to discuss death. Some people will never agree to proactive planning about their death and what comes afterwards. Of those that do, the catalyst is often when they realize how much worse their death will be on those who love them. It has nothing to do with age, we should strive to do what we can to make things easier for our loved ones in the event of...
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Getting Buy-in | Ep #44
2Sisters Speak: Surviving the Sandwich Generation
How do we get our parents buy-in to move or accept care at home? As we have discussed in previous episodes, we are firm believers that the way something is said affects the way it is perceived. You have been trying for months or even years to get your dad to agree to accept help at home let alone move into assisted living, so what can you do? Listen in while we talk about what worked with our parents and experiences with our clients over the years. Three take-ways from this episode: Try to find words that will be less likely to trigger feelings for them that detract from our message and our...
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Tools for Your Toolbox | Ep #43
2Sisters Speak: Surviving the Sandwich Generation
Everyone’s situation is unique. As senior care consultants, we find ourselves offering the same resources repeatedly. Listen to today’s episode to learn our topmost frequently recommended senior care planning resources. RESOURCES: National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys (NAELA) Aging Life Care Association (ALCA) National Association of Senior Move Managers (NASMM) The National Council on Aging (NCOA) The Alzheimer's Association For more information on any of these resources, connect with us! Three take-ways from this episode: Don’t try to learn everything on your own. Utilize...
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What Should You Say? | Ep #42
2Sisters Speak: Surviving the Sandwich Generation
Maya Angelou once said, "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." We pay attention to how the words we use make others feel. We can’t control how what we say is perceived, but we can choose different words to help us towards the outcome we are hoping for. The word "facility" connotes a medical establishment, not a place where I would want to live. Are assisted livings facilities? Technically, yes, but doesn’t residence or community feel more like somewhere you would move into and live? ...
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Letting Go of Independence | Ep #41
2Sisters Speak: Surviving the Sandwich Generation
Does being independent mean that you can do everything for yourself? By the traditional standards, independence equals self-sufficiency. Many of our clients are stubbornly committed to not accepting help. Accepting help means they are failing at taking care of themselves. We perceive independence as having agency over our lives and choices, control over how we want to live, but we don’t believe for a minute that we should do it all on our own. We are embracing a shift in perspective. Not that many people are truly independent in this day and age. There are those who choose to live off the...
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We’re Dying… (Part 2) | Ep #40
2Sisters Speak: Surviving the Sandwich Generation
In this episode, Michelle and Alyson discuss some of the resources available to help us have important conversations about end of life with our loved ones. Death is inevitable. We all know this. Let’s explore the options we have to honor our loved ones in the way they want to be honored. What measures can we take, at any age, to alleviate the burden of our inevitable death for our loved ones who are mourning? What are the current trends surrounding the passing of a loved one? Listen in to find out! Three take-ways from this episode: Dying is a natural part of life. Ignoring or denying...
info_outlineWhat is adult family mediation? Join us on this episode where we welcome guest Halee Burg, an Affiliate Mediator with Elder Decisions®, a division of Agreement Resources, LLC.
Sometimes families get stuck. We can’t agree and we don’t know how to move forward. Adult family or elder mediation is an effective method of making difficult family decisions. Mediators are highly skilled, neutral, conflict resolution experts who do not provide advice or "take sides" but, instead, facilitate purposeful and directed conversations in which family members are encouraged to express their interests and concerns.
Three key takeaways from this episode:
First, mediation is one of the least adversarial methods to resolve disputes. It is a method of facilitated negotiation. There are other options, including arbitration and litigation, that leave the ultimate decision up to a third party.
Second, the process may not be a quick one. It is a future-orientated, problem-solving process. While this method is designed to be short-term, it doesn’t necessarily mean a resolution will come quickly.
Third, mediation is not the same as therapy, but it can feel therapeutic. The goal of mediation is to come to a resolution with solutions and actionable plans for moving forward but the process itself often feels helpful and productive.
Agreement Resources, LLC - Adult Family and Elder Mediation
About Halee Burg:
A former practicing attorney who now focuses solely on mediation, to give back and help ensure broader access to mediation, Halee participates in community and court mediations through a number of greater Boston community mediation programs.
As an active member of the Massachusetts Council on Family Mediation, the Academy of Professional Family Mediators, the National Association of Divorce Professionals, and the New England Association for Conflict Resolution, Halee continually expands her knowledge of the field, regularly participates in dialogues with colleagues about best practices and approaches, and develops relationships with professionals in related fields whose expertise helps support clients as they work to make informed decisions.
A graduate of the University of Rochester (BA, Psychology, summa cum laude) and the Boalt Hall School of Law at the University of California, Berkeley (J.D), Halee discovered she also enjoyed being on the other side of instruction, and regularly teaches adult education classes regarding divorce in Massachusetts.
When not helping people become unstuck, Halee keeps busy pursuing her other passions – photographing beautiful landscapes, getting lost in a good novel, traveling, cooking, golfing, or spending special time with friends and family.
If you have questions about this topic or other issues related to being in the sandwich generation, please email us at [email protected].
To schedule a free initial phone call with a Senior Care Consultant at 2Sisters Senior Living Advisors, click here.
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