Episode 14: How to Help Your Child Calm Worry at Bedtime (Without Losing Your Mind)

How to Help Your Child Calm Worry at Bedtime (Without Losing Your Mind)

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If you’ve ever tucked your child into bed, turned off the lights, and heard: “Hey, Mom…” you already know what’s coming next. The worry brain — or what I call the Watchdog Brain — loves to show up at bedtime. And suddenly, your peaceful evening turns into a two-hour spiral of what-ifs and but what abouts.

In this episode of the Emotions with Ease Podcast, I’m sharing exactly what to do when bedtime becomes a worry fest. You’ll learn simple, science-backed tools that help calm your child’s body and brain so everyone can finally rest.

🌙 Step One: Create a Nighttime Routine A predictable routine cues your child’s nervous system that it’s time to rest. Dinner, shower, snack, teeth, prayers — whatever rhythm fits your family, try to keep it consistent. Even if life feels chaotic, ask yourself: “What’s one small thing we can do every night that says, ‘It’s bedtime’?” That one step helps their body feel safe and ready for sleep.

📵 Step Two: Limit Screens Before Bed Blue light and fast-paced content keep the brain alert. Experts recommend no screens for two hours before bedtime — but even 30 minutes helps. When the whole family goes screen-free, everyone’s nervous system gets the message: it’s time to slow down.

🍎 Step Three: Focus on the Roots, Not the Fruit Using my Apple Tree metaphor — the fruit represents your child’s behaviors or worries. The roots are what’s happening underneath: their sense of safety, their body cues, and their emotions. Don’t jump into fixing the worry story (“You’ll do fine on your test!”). Start by helping their body feel safe and grounded first.

🪷 Step Four: Calm the Body Through the Senses The nervous system speaks in five languages — sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell. Help your child discover what feels calming for them: A weighted blanket or cozy comforter Nightlight or soft hallway glow White noise or a fan A stuffed animal or favorite pillow Ask, “What helps your body feel safe at night?” and build from there.

🌬️ Step Five: Try Body-Based Calm-Down Tools Here are three of my go-to tools that work wonders at bedtime: 1. The Mindful Minute (5-4-3-2-1) Have your child name five things they see, four they can touch, three they can smell, two they can hear, and one they can taste (a sip of water works!). It grounds them in the present moment. 2. Progressive Muscle Relaxation Play a game: “Freeze like ice… now melt!” Have them squeeze their muscles tight for five seconds, then release. It teaches tension release through play. 3. Belly Breathing with a Stuffy Have your child place a stuffed animal on their belly. As they inhale through their nose, tell them, “Make your stuffy rise to the ceiling.” As they exhale, the stuffy lowers. Simple, visual, and calming.

💭 Step Six: Help Them Externalize Their Worries When worries stay trapped in the brain, they grow louder. Try one of these ideas to help your child get the worries out: The “Hold My Worries” Ritual – Have them pretend to hand you their worries, and tell them you’ll hold them until morning. A Worry Journal – Let older kids write or draw their worries before bed. The Mini Shredder Trick – Have them draw their worry on a Post-it and “shred” it. Watching it disappear can be surprisingly powerful! These small rituals teach kids that worries can be seen, named, and released.

💤 Step Seven: Use Sleep Stories or Calming Audio Try calming bedtime stories on apps like Calm or Headspace, or the YouTube gem Sleepy Paws. The soft rhythm and voice help slow heart rate and bring safety to the nervous system — no screens, just sound.

🌿 Final Thoughts

Helping your child calm worry at bedtime starts with safety, not logic. Build consistency through routine, calm the body before the brain, and use playful rituals that create distance from the “worry voice.” You don’t need to fix your child’s worry — you just need to show up with presence, patience, and a few good tools.