22: Challenging White Supremacy, Patriarchy, and Capitalism in our Families with Jen Lumanlan
Release Date: 12/10/2024
44: Stop Stuffing Your Feelings — A More Effective Way to Handle Conflict
Love Each Other Better
Are you tired of arguing with your partner over the same issues — or feeling frustrated, unheard, or disconnected? In this episode, we dive into why stuffing your feelings fuels conflict and what you can do instead. You’ll learn why ignoring your emotions or pushing them aside may feel easier in the moment but actually costs you time, energy, and connection. We explore a practical approach using Nonviolent Communication (NVC) to notice your feelings, identify your needs, and respond in ways that keep connection alive — even in the middle of tension. Plus, you’ll get a simple practice...
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43: The Antidote to People-Pleasing
Love Each Other Better
If you’re tired of avoiding conflict, walking on eggshells, or losing yourself to keep the peace, this episode is for you. Join me as I explore the real cost of people-pleasing, and a different way forward that doesn’t require becoming confrontational. People-pleasing often develops as a way to stay safe and connected, especially when conflict felt overwhelming or dangerous earlier in life. But in adult relationships, that same strategy can lead to disconnection, resentment, and a loss of intimacy. In this episode, we look at why naming your feelings and needs can feel so scary, how...
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42: Discovering the Transformative Power of Self-Compassion with Cheri Krause
Love Each Other Better
Self-awareness can be powerful, but without self-compassion, it can easily turn into self-criticism or shame. In this episode of Love Each Other Better, I talk with Cheri Krause, Licensed Professional Counselor, Coach, and teacher of Nonviolent Communication, and my friend and colleague of nearly twenty years. Cheri is passionate about the transformative power of self-compassion, and shares her knowledge, experience, and wisdom with us generously in this conversation. In this episode, you'll learn: What self-compassion actually is and why it’s essential alongside self-awareness A...
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41: Slow Down to Go Forward: The Missing Step in Conflict Resolution
Love Each Other Better
Are you and your partner stuck in the same arguments over and over? In this episode, which is the third in my new series called "Common Communication Patterns That Keep Couples Stuck — And How to Get Unstuck," I’ll break down how rushing to get through a conflict might feel like progress, but is ultimately unproductive and keeps you stuck and frustrated. I’ll introduce my Heart-Centered Conflict Navigation Roadmap, an NVC-based approach that guides couples through conflict in a connecting, productive, and efficient way. You’ll learn why slowing down, empathic understanding, and...
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40: They Said They’d Do It… But They Didn’t: 5 Reasons Why
Love Each Other Better
You asked your partner to do something, they said they’d do it… and they didn’t. And now you’re frustrated, wondering if your partner really cares or if you’re asking for too much. If this dynamic feels familiar, you’re not alone — and it’s not because your partner is a jerk. In most relationships, missed follow-through has far more to do with unmet needs, unclear communication, or shifting capacity than a lack of love. This episode is Part 2 of my series, Common Communication Patterns That Keep Couples Stuck — and How to Get Unstuck. Today, we explore 5 compassionate...
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39: When Talking More Doesn’t Help: Breaking the Loop of Feeling Unheard
Love Each Other Better
In this episode of Love Each Other Better, I’m kicking off a new series on the communication patterns that keep couples stuck — and how to get unstuck. We’re starting with one of the most common: when one partner talks more and more to feel heard, while the other gets overwhelmed and pulls away to find relief. It’s a loop that leaves both people feeling disconnected, even though both are trying. I’ll introduce a powerful concept from Nonviolent Communication: interrupting for the sake of connection. It’s a way to pause, reflect, and stay present without shutting each other...
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38: Love Beyond Monogamy: Author Brian G. Murphy on How to Thrive in Open Relationships
Love Each Other Better
In this special episode of Love Each Other Better, I sat down with Brian G. Murphy — author of Love Beyond Monogamy, certified relationship coach, and co-founder of the Queer Theology podcast. In this illuminating interview, Brian shares insights on navigating non-monogamy and open relationships, including: How to navigate differing desires between partners and approach the conversation about opening a relationship Handling jealousy and fostering intentional, authentic communication Why even couples who choose to stay monogamous can benefit from exploring these questions...
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37: We Are Generous by Nature: A Birthday Tribute to Marshall Rosenberg
Love Each Other Better
What if generosity isn’t something we have to teach or force — but something we’re born with? In this special episode honoring the birthday of Marshall Rosenberg, the founder of Nonviolent Communication (NVC), I share a personal story about my 5-year-old daughter — and how her spontaneous, joyful act of giving reminded me of one of Marshall’s most powerful teachings: “What I want in my life is compassion — a flow between myself and others based on a mutual giving from the heart.” We’ll explore: Why generous giving flows naturally when we feel connected and free How this...
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36: Why You're Afraid of "Getting in Trouble" with Your Partner and What to Do About it
Love Each Other Better
Ever feel like you're “in trouble” with your partner—even though you're a grown adult? That tight feeling in your chest, the urge to defend yourself, shut down, or appease… it’s more common than you think. And it’s not your fault. In this episode, we explore how growing up in a punitive culture wires us to associate conflict with danger—and how that fear shows up in our adult relationships. Using the lenses of Nonviolent Communication (NVC), Terry Real’s Adaptive Child vs. Wise Adult, and self-compassion, we look at how to shift from self-protection to connection, even when...
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35: Do I Even Matter to You? How Appreciation Heals — and How to Make It Stick
Love Each Other Better
Ever find yourself wondering, “Do I even matter to him/her/them?” despite all you do? That painful question points to a fundamental human need: to contribute, to be seen, and to know that your presence truly makes a difference. When this need goes unmet, relationships can grow distant and disheartening. In this episode, we explore why appreciation isn’t just a nice gesture — it’s essential emotional medicine that helps relationships heal and thrive. But more than that, it’s a practice you can build — a new habit of truly noticing, acknowledging, and expressing gratitude in ways...
info_outlineIn this thought-provoking episode of the Love Each Other Better podcast, I sit down with Jen Lumanlan, host of the Your Parenting Mojo podcast and author of Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection & Collaboration to Transform Your Family and the World. Join us for an introduction to how white supremacy, patriarchy, and capitalism shape family dynamics and influence parenting approaches, and how to shift out of traditional power dynamics to make family life easier and more connecting.
Jen shares powerful insights and practical tools to help parents navigate conflicts and create family environments where everyone's needs—parents' and children's alike—are honored. From addressing the micro moments where resistance in children shows up to exploring deep concepts like white supremacy, patriarchy, and capitalism and how they intersect in our families, this episode offers a roadmap for transforming family relationships and beyond.
Whether you’re a parent seeking to navigate the pressures of modern life or someone looking to create a more just and collaborative family dynamic, this episode is packed with inspiration and actionable strategies.
Tune in and start building a family culture rooted in equality, trust, and compassion today.
About Jen Lumanlan
JEN LUMANLAN, MS, MEd, (she/her) hosts the Your Parenting Mojo podcast, which was named Best Research-Based Parenting Podcast by Lifehacker and has been downloaded almost 4 million times.
After attending Berkeley and Yale and following a traditional career path in sustainability consulting, Jen found that parenting was her toughest challenge yet. She went back to school for a master’s degree in psychology focused on child development and another in education, and trained as a Co-Active coach to share what she learned with other parents.
Her work has been featured in outlets such as Psychology Today, Romper, and NPR.
Jen is the author of Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection and Collaboration to Transform Your Family - and the World.
Jen’s Resources
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/YourParentingMojo
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourparentingmojo/
Website: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com
Take Jen’s quiz: Tell Me What My Child Needs! https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/quiz When you understand your child's most important need and meet that more often, they'll stop resisting you as much.
Read Jen’s book: Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection & Collaboration to Transform Your Family and the World: https://yourparentingmojo.com/book/
Listen to Jen’s podcast: Your Parenting Mojo: https://yourparentingmojo.com/episodes/
Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits workshop (open anytime; just $7 with coupon code ALIMILLER) - shows you how to set limits effectively, and also set far fewer of them than you ever thought possible, without being a permissive parent!
Taming Your Triggers workshop (opens every ~Oct and Feb) - helps parents understand the real causes of their triggered feelings, begin to heal those hurts so they feel triggered less often, and repair more effectively on the fewer occasions when it does still happen.
Parenting Membership (opens every May) - provides ongoing support for parenting challenges - from tantrums/meltdowns, screen time, and raising healthy eaters to getting on the same page with your parenting partner.
Connect with Ali Miller
Stop Fighting! (without stuffing your feelings or sacrificing your needs) 8-Week Private Coaching Program for Couples: https://www.alimillercoaching.com/stopfighting
Website: https://www.AliMillerCoaching.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alimillercoaching
NVC for Couples Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/nvcforcouples/
Email: Ali@AliMillerCoaching.com