Love Each Other Better
Did you know that too much conflict and arguing is one of the top 3 reasons couples get divorced? According to Forbes, 58% of divorcing couples cited this as their #1 reason for splitting up. When I read this 2024 statistic, my first thought was: It doesn't have to be this way! Hi, I'm Ali Miller, and I created the Love Each Other Better Podcast to share relationship-saving tools and principles that will help you and your partner spend less time fighting and more time doing what you do best: loving each other. I'm a longtime Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and a Certified Coach specializing in couples communication and conflict resolution. I've worked with hundreds of couples over the past two decades, helping them work through their challenges and create thriving relationships. On the Love Each Other Better Podcast, I share transformational tools and inspiration from Nonviolent Communication to help couples find their happy again, tools I've only been sharing with my clients and students until now. I am overjoyed to be able to share them with you here on this podcast. Whether you're on the verge of divorce or just a tad bit dissatisfied in your relationship and know it can be so much better, you're in the right place if you want more fun, more ease, and more LOVE in your relationship. I'm so glad you're here.
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43: The Antidote to People-Pleasing
01/16/2026
43: The Antidote to People-Pleasing
If you’re tired of avoiding conflict, walking on eggshells, or losing yourself to keep the peace, this episode is for you. Join me as I explore the real cost of people-pleasing, and a different way forward that doesn’t require becoming confrontational. People-pleasing often develops as a way to stay safe and connected, especially when conflict felt overwhelming or dangerous earlier in life. But in adult relationships, that same strategy can lead to disconnection, resentment, and a loss of intimacy. In this episode, we look at why naming your feelings and needs can feel so scary, how fear of conflict fuels people-pleasing, and what helps couples become conflict-confident instead of conflict-avoidant. Using insights from Nonviolent Communication (NVC), this conversation points toward a way of relating where honesty feels safer, connection runs deeper, and you don’t have to abandon yourself to keep the relationship intact. Connect with your host, Ali Miller: Training + Coaching Explore my 9-week private coaching program for couples: Stop Fighting! (without stuffing your feelings or sacrificing your needs): Free Resources Feelings & Needs Cheatsheets: Free Mini-Course: The 4 Steps to Stop Any Fight Without Giving In Connect with Ali Instagram: @ Free Private Facebook Group: NVC for Couples Email: ali@alimillercoaching.com Website:
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42: Discovering the Transformative Power of Self-Compassion with Cheri Krause
12/22/2025
42: Discovering the Transformative Power of Self-Compassion with Cheri Krause
Self-awareness can be powerful, but without self-compassion, it can easily turn into self-criticism or shame. In this episode of Love Each Other Better, I talk with Cheri Krause, Licensed Professional Counselor, Coach, and teacher of Nonviolent Communication, and my friend and colleague of nearly twenty years. Cheri is passionate about the transformative power of self-compassion, and shares her knowledge, experience, and wisdom with us generously in this conversation. In this episode, you'll learn: What self-compassion actually is and why it’s essential alongside self-awareness A practical six-step approach to self-compassion that can be applied right away How to shift from self-abandonment to self-accompaniment in daily life Ways to strengthen relationships through compassion for yourself and others Tools to feel connected, good enough, and grounded even under life’s pressures Whether you want to bring more kindness to yourself, deepen your relationships, or navigate life with more ease, this episode is full of insights and practices you can start using today. Connect with my guest, Cheri Krause: Cheri Krause is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Coach. They are a nonbinary individual who first learned about Nonviolent Communication while living in the country, India, where they lived for over ten years. Most recently, Cheri has been fascinated by self compassion, like that taught by Kristin Neff, Ph.D. Connect with your host, Ali Miller: Training + Coaching Explore my 9-week private coaching program for couples: Stop Fighting! (without stuffing your feelings or sacrificing your needs): Free Resources Feelings & Needs Cheatsheets: Free Mini-Course: The 4 Steps to Stop Any Fight Without Giving In Connect with Ali Instagram: @ Free Private Facebook Group: NVC for Couples Email: ali@alimillercoaching.com Website:
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41: Slow Down to Go Forward: The Missing Step in Conflict Resolution
12/12/2025
41: Slow Down to Go Forward: The Missing Step in Conflict Resolution
Are you and your partner stuck in the same arguments over and over? In this episode, which is the third in my new series called "Common Communication Patterns That Keep Couples Stuck — And How to Get Unstuck," I’ll break down how rushing to get through a conflict might feel like progress, but is ultimately unproductive and keeps you stuck and frustrated. I’ll introduce my Heart-Centered Conflict Navigation Roadmap, an NVC-based approach that guides couples through conflict in a connecting, productive, and efficient way. You’ll learn why slowing down, empathic understanding, and heart-centered communication are the keys to resolving conflict in a way that’s collaborative, creative, and lasting. Plus, I’ll share simple + practical tips you can start using today to move from “me vs. you” to “we’re in this together,” and why a few focused minutes of connection can save you hours of fruitless fighting. If you’ve ever thought, “We don’t have time for this,” or “We know each other’s needs, but we’re still stuck,” this episode is for you. Want to learn NVC with Ali? Training + Coaching Explore my 9-week private coaching program for couples: Stop Fighting! (without stuffing your feelings or sacrificing your needs): Free Resources Feelings & Needs Cheatsheets: Free Mini-Course: The 4 Steps to Stop Any Fight Without Giving In Connect with Ali Instagram: @ Free Private Facebook Group: NVC for Couples Email: ali@alimillercoaching.com Website:
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40: They Said They’d Do It… But They Didn’t: 5 Reasons Why
11/21/2025
40: They Said They’d Do It… But They Didn’t: 5 Reasons Why
You asked your partner to do something, they said they’d do it… and they didn’t. And now you’re frustrated, wondering if your partner really cares or if you’re asking for too much. If this dynamic feels familiar, you’re not alone — and it’s not because your partner is a jerk. In most relationships, missed follow-through has far more to do with unmet needs, unclear communication, or shifting capacity than a lack of love. This episode is Part 2 of my series, Common Communication Patterns That Keep Couples Stuck — and How to Get Unstuck. Today, we explore 5 compassionate reasons your partner might say “yes” and then not follow through — and how you can respond in ways that create closeness rather than conflict. You’ll learn how to make requests that actually land, invite honest yes’s and no’s, and build (and rebuild!) agreements that support both people’s needs. By the end, you’ll walk away with practical tools, deeper understanding, and a new way of seeing your dynamic — so you can move out of frustration and into true partnership. And if this episode resonates, share it with your partner — it’s a beautiful way to start the conversation together. Want to learn NVC with Ali? Explore my 9-week private coaching program for couples: Stop Fighting! (without stuffing your feelings or sacrificing your needs). Includes my signature training: Hearing Each Other’s Hearts: NVC Essentials for Couples Learn more: Free Resources Feelings & Needs Cheatsheets: Free Mini-Course: The 4 Steps to Stop Any Fight Without Giving In Connect with Ali Instagram: Free Private Facebook Group: NVC for Couples Email: Website:
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39: When Talking More Doesn’t Help: Breaking the Loop of Feeling Unheard
11/06/2025
39: When Talking More Doesn’t Help: Breaking the Loop of Feeling Unheard
In this episode of Love Each Other Better, I’m kicking off a new series on the communication patterns that keep couples stuck — and how to get unstuck. We’re starting with one of the most common: when one partner talks more and more to feel heard, while the other gets overwhelmed and pulls away to find relief. It’s a loop that leaves both people feeling disconnected, even though both are trying. I’ll introduce a powerful concept from Nonviolent Communication: interrupting for the sake of connection. It’s a way to pause, reflect, and stay present without shutting each other down. We’ll also talk about reflective listening, and how it can radically shift the energy of a conversation in an instant. If you’ve ever felt like you’re talking past each other instead of with each other, this one’s for you. Want to learn NVC with Ali? Explore my 9-week private coaching program for couples: Stop Fighting! (without stuffing your feelings or sacrificing your needs). Includes my signature training: Hearing Each Other’s Hearts: NVC Essentials for Couples Learn more: Free Resources Feelings & Needs Cheatsheets: Free Mini-Course: The 4 Steps to Stop Any Fight Without Giving In Connect with Ali Instagram: Free Private Facebook Group: NVC for Couples Email: Website:
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38: Love Beyond Monogamy: Author Brian G. Murphy on How to Thrive in Open Relationships
10/27/2025
38: Love Beyond Monogamy: Author Brian G. Murphy on How to Thrive in Open Relationships
In this special episode of Love Each Other Better, I sat down with Brian G. Murphy — author of Love Beyond Monogamy, certified relationship coach, and co-founder of the Queer Theology podcast. In this illuminating interview, Brian shares insights on navigating non-monogamy and open relationships, including: How to navigate differing desires between partners and approach the conversation about opening a relationship Handling jealousy and fostering intentional, authentic communication Why even couples who choose to stay monogamous can benefit from exploring these questions consciously Aligning relationships with personal values while considering the impact on your partner Whether you’re exploring the possibility of an open relationship, looking for support in your already-established open relationship, or simply looking to build more authenticity and intentionality into your monogamous partnership, don't miss this opportunity to get high-integrity guidance and insights from Brian G. Murphy. About Ali's Guest Brian G. Murphy is an author and certified relationship coach helping people build thriving relationships on their own terms without shame or "shoulds" through his coaching practice Relationshift. He's also the co-founder of QueerTheology.com, a resource hub, online community, and the longest-running queer spirituality podcast which helps LGBTQ+ and polyamorous people heal from religious harm and live into their values. He is the author of Love Beyond Monogamy and co-author of Reading The Bible Through Queer Eyes, which will be published by HarperOne in fall 2026. Connect with Brian G. Murphy Social Media: @thisisbgm on all the places, but especially Instagram, Threads, and YouTube Website: Free Commitment Clarity Checklist - Want to learn NVC with Ali? Explore my 9-week private coaching program for couples: Stop Fighting! (without stuffing your feelings or sacrificing your needs). Includes my signature training: Hearing Each Other’s Hearts: NVC Essentials for Couples Learn more: Free Resources Feelings & Needs Cheatsheets: Free Mini-Course: The 4 Steps to Stop Any Fight Without Giving In Connect with Ali Instagram: Free Private Facebook Group: NVC for Couples Email: Website:
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37: We Are Generous by Nature: A Birthday Tribute to Marshall Rosenberg
10/06/2025
37: We Are Generous by Nature: A Birthday Tribute to Marshall Rosenberg
What if generosity isn’t something we have to teach or force — but something we’re born with? In this special episode honoring the birthday of Marshall Rosenberg, the founder of Nonviolent Communication (NVC), I share a personal story about my 5-year-old daughter — and how her spontaneous, joyful act of giving reminded me of one of Marshall’s most powerful teachings: “What I want in my life is compassion — a flow between myself and others based on a mutual giving from the heart.” We’ll explore: Why generous giving flows naturally when we feel connected and free How this principle applies not just to parenting, but to romantic relationships What gets in the way of that generosity in couples — and how NVC can help restore it A simple question to reflect on in your own relationship today Plus, I’ll share how you and your partner can go deeper with NVC through my 9-Week Private Coaching Program for Couples: If you're longing for more joy and spontaneous generosity in your relationship — this one’s for you. Want to learn NVC with Ali? Explore my 9-week private coaching program for couples: Stop Fighting! (without stuffing your feelings or sacrificing your needs). Includes my signature training: Hearing Each Other’s Hearts: NVC Essentials for Couples Learn more: Free Resources Feelings & Needs Cheatsheets: Free Mini-Course: The 4 Steps to Stop Any Fight Without Giving In Connect with Ali Instagram: Free Private Facebook Group: NVC for Couples Email: Website: Important note: The tools I share in this episode and all of the episodes on this podcast are suited for people who are in a safe relationship. If you do not feel safe in your relationship, please prioritize your safety. For support with priortizing your safety, in the U.S. you can chat with someone live at The National Domestic Violence Hotline at , or call them at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or text START to 88788.
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36: Why You're Afraid of "Getting in Trouble" with Your Partner and What to Do About it
10/01/2025
36: Why You're Afraid of "Getting in Trouble" with Your Partner and What to Do About it
Ever feel like you're “in trouble” with your partner—even though you're a grown adult? That tight feeling in your chest, the urge to defend yourself, shut down, or appease… it’s more common than you think. And it’s not your fault. In this episode, we explore how growing up in a punitive culture wires us to associate conflict with danger—and how that fear shows up in our adult relationships. Using the lenses of Nonviolent Communication (NVC), Terry Real’s Adaptive Child vs. Wise Adult, and self-compassion, we look at how to shift from self-protection to connection, even when emotions run high. You’ll learn: Why the “I’m in trouble” feeling gets triggered in conflict How to recognize when your Adaptive Child is in the driver’s seat Ways to offer yourself empathy so you can show up in your relationship from your Wise Adult self Practical NVC tools to respond with connection instead of self-protection Whether you're in a partnership or want to prepare for one, this episode is an invitation to soften, slow down, and connect—with yourself and your loved ones. Want to learn NVC with Ali? Explore my 9-week private coaching program for couples: Stop Fighting! (without stuffing your feelings or sacrificing your needs). Includes my signature training: Hearing Each Other’s Hearts: NVC Essentials for Couples Learn more: Free Resources Feelings & Needs Cheatsheets: Free Mini-Course: The 4 Steps to Stop Any Fight Without Giving In Connect with Ali Instagram: Free Private Facebook Group: NVC for Couples Email: Website: Important note: The tools I share in this episode and all of the episodes on this podcast are suited for people who are in a safe relationship. If you do not feel safe in your relationship, please prioritize your safety. For support with priortizing your safety, in the U.S. you can chat with someone live at The National Domestic Violence Hotline at , or call them at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or text START to 88788.
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35: Do I Even Matter to You? How Appreciation Heals — and How to Make It Stick
09/22/2025
35: Do I Even Matter to You? How Appreciation Heals — and How to Make It Stick
Ever find yourself wondering, “Do I even matter to him/her/them?” despite all you do? That painful question points to a fundamental human need: to contribute, to be seen, and to know that your presence truly makes a difference. When this need goes unmet, relationships can grow distant and disheartening. In this episode, we explore why appreciation isn’t just a nice gesture — it’s essential emotional medicine that helps relationships heal and thrive. But more than that, it’s a practice you can build — a new habit of truly noticing, acknowledging, and expressing gratitude in ways that land deeply with your partner. You’ll learn: How contribution is the key to a fulfilling life — and why we need feedback in order to get that need fully met Why expressing appreciation often feels vulnerable — and how to lean into that vulnerability for the sake of authentic connection Practical tips for cultivating a daily appreciation practice that strengthens your bond How Nonviolent Communication (NVC) guides us to give heartfelt, specific feedback that actually sticks. Whether you feel unseen or want to show your partner they matter, this episode offers tools and insights to help you build appreciation into your relationship as a powerful healing habit. Want to learn NVC with Ali? Explore my 9-week private coaching program for couples: Stop Fighting! (without stuffing your feelings or sacrificing your needs). Includes my signature training: Hearing Each Other’s Hearts: NVC Essentials for Couples Learn more: Free Resources Feelings & Needs Cheatsheets: Free Mini-Course: The 4 Steps to Stop Any Fight Without Giving In Connect with Ali Instagram: Free Private Facebook Group: NVC for Couples Email: Website:
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34: Can Debate and NVC Coexist? A Nuanced Exploration with Margot Magowan
09/15/2025
34: Can Debate and NVC Coexist? A Nuanced Exploration with Margot Magowan
What happens when a seasoned debater embraces the compassionate lens of Nonviolent Communication (NVC)? In this episode, I’m joined by writer and commentator Margot Magowan, who has debated on Fox News, CNN, MSNBC, and Good Morning America—and now finds herself navigating the delicate intersection between advocacy and empathy. Margot shares her evolving journey from using sharp logic to influence others (including her daughter) to practicing deep empathic listening—and how that shift has transformed her family life. We explore what it’s been like for her to integrate NVC into parenting, marriage, and public discourse. This conversation doesn’t offer easy answers—and that’s what makes it so rich. Margot is actively grappling with big questions: — Can NVC truly coexist with the drive to change minds—or change the world? — How do we speak with passion while still seeing the humanity in those we disagree with? — When is it time to listen, and when is it time to speak up? If you’ve ever wondered how to blend NVC with social change work—how to hold compassion for all people while staying rooted in your values—this episode is for you. About Margot Magowan: Margot is a writer and commentator whose work has appeared on Fox News, CNN, MSNBC, Good Morning America, and other major media platforms. Her fiction is featured in the HarperCollins anthology Sugar In My Bowl. Today, she’s passionate about Nonviolent Communication and supports other parents through NVC-based support groups and coaching. To learn more, you can reach her at Want to learn NVC with Ali? Explore my 9-week private coaching program for couples: Stop Fighting! (without stuffing your feelings or sacrificing your needs). Includes my signature training: Hearing Each Other’s Hearts: NVC Essentials for Couples Learn more: Free Resources Feelings & Needs Cheatsheets: Free Mini-Course: The 4 Steps to Stop Any Fight Without Giving In Connect with Ali Instagram: Free Private Facebook Group: NVC for Couples Email: Website:
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33: How to Listen (and Get Heard) When You're Caught in Conflict
09/08/2025
33: How to Listen (and Get Heard) When You're Caught in Conflict
Do you feel unheard in your relationship—or like every conversation turns into an argument? In this episode, we’ll unpack what’s really going on when you and your partner get stuck in blame, defensiveness, or silence. You’ll learn how to truly listen (and get listened to) using the powerful tools of Nonviolent Communication (NVC). We cover: What’s really underneath most conflict Why empathy changes everything How to stop defending and start connecting Simple questions that shift the dynamic fast If you’re longing to feel more understood, emotionally safe, and connected in your relationship, this episode will offer both insight and practical tools. Want to go deeper? Explore my 9-week private coaching program for couples: Stop Fighting! (without stuffing your feelings or sacrificing your needs) Includes my signature training: Hearing Each Other’s Hearts: NVC Essentials for Couples Learn more: Free Resources Feelings & Needs Cheatsheets: Free Mini-Course: The 4 Steps to Stop Any Fight Without Giving In Connect with Ali Instagram: Free Private Facebook Group: NVC for Couples Email: Website:
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32: Stop Saying "You Made Me Feel": How to Own Your Feelings Without Blame
08/08/2025
32: Stop Saying "You Made Me Feel": How to Own Your Feelings Without Blame
In this episode, I’m unpacking one of the most common — and most disconnecting — phrases I hear in relationships: “You made me feel…” It sounds honest. It feels true. But in reality, it often leads to defensiveness, arguments, and emotional distance. Drawing from the principles of Nonviolent Communication (NVC), I’ll walk you through why this phrase contains a subtle form of blame — even if you don’t mean it that way — and how shifting the way you express your feelings can lead to more understanding, more connection, and more of your needs being met. You’ll learn: Why saying “You made me feel…” can derail communication The key difference between stimulating feelings vs. causing them A more effective and connected way to talk about your emotions How to take self-responsibility without self-blame — and why it matters If you’ve ever felt like you’re trying to be honest, but it only seems to start a fight, this episode will give you a new way forward. 🎧 Want more tools like this? Come join my free private Facebook group: It’s a space to connect with me, ask your questions, and get support from others who are practicing these tools in real life. Free Resources Feelings and Needs Cheatsheets: Free Mini-Course: The 4 Steps to Stop Any Fight Without Giving In: Connect with your host! IG: https://www.instagram.com/alimillercoaching Private + Free Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/nvcforcouples Email: Ali@AliMillerCoaching.com Website: https://www.alimillercoaching.com
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31: 41 Years Married—And No Longer Sweeping Conflict Under the Rug
06/27/2025
31: 41 Years Married—And No Longer Sweeping Conflict Under the Rug
Teri and David have been married for nearly 41 years, and like many couples, they often found themselves caught in repetitive arguments—both about new challenges and unresolved old issues. In this uplifting episode, they share how Ali’s NVC-based Small Group Coaching Program for Couples gave them practical tools to openly discuss and finally resolve both fresh conflicts and long-standing tensions without pulling away from each other. By putting Nonviolent Communication into practice, they broke the cycle of sweeping problems under the rug and discovered renewed hope, empathy, and a stronger connection. Their inspiring journey shows it’s never too late to transform how you communicate and relate. Connect with Ali: Website: IG: Private Facebook Group: Book a call with Ali: Email Ali: Ali@AliMillerCoaching.com
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30: Use Your Words: How to Speak Honestly, Stop the Guessing Games, and Get What You Need
06/19/2025
30: Use Your Words: How to Speak Honestly, Stop the Guessing Games, and Get What You Need
We tell kids to “use your words” — but the truth is, most adults still don’t know how. We hide our feelings, fear sounding “needy,” and hope our partners will just know what we need — then feel hurt or resentful when they don’t. In this episode, I unpack why adult communication breaks down so often, how unmet needs and unspoken feelings quietly sabotage our relationships, and why using your words — with clarity, vulnerability, and skill — can be the most powerful thing you do to get closer, feel seen, and have your needs met. You’ll learn how Nonviolent Communication (NVC) helps you speak honestly without starting a fight, and how this one shift — using your words intentionally — can change everything in your relationship, from tension, frustration, and resentment to clarity, closeness, and care. 🎧 Whether you're feeling misunderstood, walking on eggshells, or just tired of the same old arguments — this one’s for you. Get your free lists of feelings and needs here: Connect with Ali: IG: https://www.instagram.com/alimillercoaching Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/nvcforcouples Email me: Ali@AliMillerCoaching.com Website:
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29: Come to My Grok Party: Better Communication Starts Here (This Friday)
06/10/2025
29: Come to My Grok Party: Better Communication Starts Here (This Friday)
I'm having a party and you're invited! I sat down with Jen Brummer of Grok the World to demystify what a Grok Party actually is — and why it might be exactly what you didn’t know you needed. Jen will be facilitating the Grok Party that I'm hosting this Friday, June 13 at 11am EDT. In this episode, we talk about what you'll experience during this low-pressure, fun, and highly interactive group experience based on Nonviolent Communication (NVC), how Jen creates a safe, welcoming space (even for shy folks), and what you’ll walk away with: practical tools to improve your communication, deepen your relationships, and better understand your own emotional world. Stay tuned til the end where we even demo one of the games you'll get to try if you join us this Friday, June 13 — so you can get a feel for how it works and why it’s so powerful. Come for the curiosity. Stay for the playful-yet-deep human connection. And leave with practical tools and a refreshing way of seeing yourself and others. Register for free here: Connect with Ali: IG: https://www.instagram.com/alimillercoaching Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/nvcforcouples Email me: Ali@AliMillerCoaching.com Website: Connect with Jen and Grok the World: IG: Website:
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28: You’re Upset—Now What? How to Talk About It Without Making Things Worse
05/16/2025
28: You’re Upset—Now What? How to Talk About It Without Making Things Worse
We all experience moments of hurt, frustration, or disappointment in relationship—but how do we address them without making things worse? How can you talk about the things that bother you in a way that doesn’t escalate the conflict or further damage the connection? In this episode, we’ll explore the critical difference between intent and impact and why both matter. Most of the time, your partner is probably not trying to hurt you—they’re trying to meet a need. But when the impact of their actions does hurt, that still really matters. When you can talk about both the intent behind their actions AND the impact it had on you, you open up the possibility of not only deepening your understanding and strengthening your bond, but also finding solutions to the challenges in your relationship that genuinely work for both of you. Tune in to episode 28 for actionable advice that will help you approach those painful moments with clarity, curiosity, and the tools you need to build a stronger + realer relationship, together. Your love story isn’t broken—it’s just waiting for a deeper, more compassionate conversation. Resources mentioned in the show Free Mini-Course: The 4 Steps to Stop Any Fight Without Giving In: Get my free feelings and needs lists: Apply to join us for the Love Each Other Better: Group Coaching Program for Couples at Apply for Stop Fighting! Private Coaching Program for Couples at Book a free consultation call with Ali: https://www.calendly.com/alimillercoaching/45 ~ Connect with me on social media: IG: https://www.instagram.com/alimillercoaching Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/nvcforcouples Email me: Ali@AliMillerCoaching.com Website: https://www.alimillercoaching.com
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27: Breaking Free from Patriarchy, Sexism and Misogyny in Hetero Relationships with Vivek Patel
04/03/2025
27: Breaking Free from Patriarchy, Sexism and Misogyny in Hetero Relationships with Vivek Patel
In this episode I'm so honored to be joined by Vivek Patel of Meaningful Ideas to explore the impact of patriarchy, sexism, and misogyny in heterosexual relationships and how to break free from this toxic conditioning that contributes to so much pain for so many people. Vivek shares his own personal journey of recognizing and unlearning his own sexist conditioning and how this profoundly improved his own marriage. He also offers practical tips for how others can do this, too. Vivek emphasizes the importance of redefining masculinity, dismantling hierarchical mindsets, and the power of self-compassion to support honest conversations between men and women about the impacts of sexism on their relationships. Tune in for a raw, real, and inspiring conversation about deprogramming patriarchy, embracing vulnerability, and breaking free from toxic masculinity. CONNECT WITH VIVEK PATEL Vivek Patel of Meaningful Ideas has been sharing Conscious Parenting concepts for over 15 years. The ideas he shares have been used by thousands of families to create more harmony and connection in their homes. He has written more than 500 parenting articles and created over 300 videos. There is also a book in the works. Vivek cares deeply about empowering parents to develop more harmonious relationships with their kids using a powerful approach called “Non-Coercive, Collaborative Parenting”, based on Communication, Connection, and Collaboration. He is also best friends with his 27 yr old. Check out Vivek's social media @meaningfulideas If you'd like to receive more personalised and intimate parenting support from Vivek, please consider joining his parenting support group: Sign up for Vivek's FREE COURSE "Guiding Without Controlling". Registration Link CONNECT WITH ALI MILLER Apply to join us for the Love Each Other Better: 6-Month Group Coaching Program for Couples at Book a free consultation call with Ali: https://www.calendly.com/alimillercoaching/45 Get my free feelings and needs lists: https://www.alimillercoaching.com/feelingsandneeds Connect with me on social media: IG: https://www.instagram.com/alimillercoaching Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/nvcforcouples Email me: Ali@AliMillerCoaching.com Website: https://www.alimillercoaching.com
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26: Understanding Attachment Theory to Create Secure Relationships with Maya Diamond
03/15/2025
26: Understanding Attachment Theory to Create Secure Relationships with Maya Diamond
In this insightful episode of the Love Each Other Better Podcast, I’m honored to have a very special guest, relationship expert Maya Diamond. Maya guides us in a deep-dive into the fascinating world of attachment theory. She unravels the complexities of the four primary attachment styles—secure, avoidant, anxious, and fearful avoidant—and explores how our childhood experiences shape the way we connect in adult relationships. Maya shares practical, actionable advice for healing insecure attachment styles, offering listeners valuable tools to foster more secure and fulfilling connections. Whether you're seeking to understand your own attachment style or improve your relationships, this episode is packed with insights and strategies to build deeper, more meaningful connections. Tune in to learn how to heal childhood wounds, cultivate secure attachments, and communicate effectively for a stronger, healthier partnership! ABOUT MY GUEST Maya Diamond is an expert Dating and Relationship Coach who is known for helping people finally find their beloved after years of trying, so that they can have happy, satisfying, and fulfilling relationships. She specializes in helping people heal their insecure attachment and find healthy secure love. Maya is a trained psychotherapist and holds a Master’s Degree in Somatic Psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies. In 2018, Maya was named one of the best life coaches in San Francisco by Expertise.com. In 2014, she was named one of the Best Relationship Experts in California by DatingAdvice.com. Maya's dating advice has been featured on mindbodygreen.com and elephant journal.com. She shared her message on the TedX stage, with her talk, “The Surprising Key to Building a Healthy Relationship that Lasts.” CONNECT WITH MAYA DIAMOND Go to to book your free love breakthrough call with Maya Website: empowerlove.us Instagram: mayadiamond.empowerlove Fbook group: Podcast: Rewire Your Attachment Style ~ CONNECT WITH ALI MILLER Apply to join us for the Love Each Other Better: 6-Month Group Coaching Program for Couples at Book a free consultation call with Ali: https://www.calendly.com/alimillercoaching/45 Get my free feelings and needs lists: https://www.alimillercoaching.com/feelingsandneeds Connect with me on social media: IG: https://www.instagram.com/alimillercoaching Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/nvcforcouples Email me: Ali@AliMillerCoaching.com Website: https://www.alimillercoaching.com
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25: How to Be Assertive Without Being an A-hole
02/13/2025
25: How to Be Assertive Without Being an A-hole
In this episode we dive into how to communicate assertively without crossing into aggression. I share powerful insights from Nonviolent Communication (NVC) and offer practical tools to help you ask for what you want in a way that empowers you AND strengthens your connection with others. Whether you're navigating conflict with your partner, or just want to communicate more effectively, I’ve got heart-centered tips to help you create happier, more satisfying relationships. If you've ever wondered how to speak up for yourself without being confrontational, this episode is for you! Resources Book a free consultation call with Ali: Get my free feelings and needs lists: Connect with me on social media: IG: Private Facebook Group: Email me: Website:
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24: Building Beloved Community with Roxy Manning, PhD
01/20/2025
24: Building Beloved Community with Roxy Manning, PhD
In this episode of Love Each Other Better, I’m thrilled to welcome Roxy Manning, PhD, a psychologist, Nonviolent Communication trainer, and the author of How to Have Anti-Racist Conversations. Together, we explore the concept of the Beloved Community, inspired by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., and how it ties into Roxy’s work and activism. We dive into topics like having authentic and courageous conversations, addressing systems of oppression within families, and navigating how to handle harm in relationships. We also discuss the difference between positive and negative peace, and why being fierce—engaging in “necessary trouble”—is essential for real change. In a special segment, we role-play how to open up a meaningful conversation about patriarchy and sexism within a heterosexual relationship, offering practical tools and approaches for navigating these sensitive yet critical discussions. You won’t want to miss Roxy’s inspiring vision for a more just and equitable future, along with actionable ways to connect with her transformative work. This is a conversation full of wisdom, heart, and hope! Connect with my guest, Roxy Mannning, PhD Clinical psychologist, certified trainer with the Center for Nonviolent Communication, and co-host of the podcast Fierce Compassion. As a Black Caribbean immigrant to the US, Roxy Manning brings a unique, intersectional lens to her organizational work, focusing on transforming communication to foster justice and equity. Author of How to Have Antiracist Conversations and coauthor of The Antiracist Heart, her writing provides practical tools for antiracist dialogue and building compassionate communities. Dr. Manning lives in the San Francisco Bay Area, inspiring change internationally through her teachings and writings. Find her books, writing, and podcast at . Connect with your host, Ali Miller Stop Fighting Private Coaching Program for Couples: https://www.AliMillerCoaching.com/StopFighting Ali@AliMillerCoaching.com
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23: Relationship Resolutions for Your Best Year Yet
01/01/2025
23: Relationship Resolutions for Your Best Year Yet
Welcome to a special New Year’s episode! As we say goodbye to 2024 and look ahead to 2025, I’m diving into the idea of Relationship Resolutions. Whether it’s your partner, kids, friends, coworkers, or even yourself, the relationships in our lives shape so much of our joy and fulfillment. In this episode, I share simple, practical ideas for strengthening those connections in meaningful ways. Using insights from Nonviolent Communication (NVC), I’ll guide you through reflection and goal-setting so you can show up with more intention, communicate more clearly, and build relationships that truly enrich your life. Let’s reflect on the past year, dream big for the next one, and take small, actionable steps toward making 2025 your best year yet. Resources List of Universal Human Needs/Values: Private Coaching Program for Couples: Small Group Coaching Program for Couples: Website: Email: Private Facebook Group: NVC for Couples: Instagram: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/alimillercoaching
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22: Challenging White Supremacy, Patriarchy, and Capitalism in our Families with Jen Lumanlan
12/10/2024
22: Challenging White Supremacy, Patriarchy, and Capitalism in our Families with Jen Lumanlan
In this thought-provoking episode of the Love Each Other Better podcast, I sit down with Jen Lumanlan, host of the Your Parenting Mojo podcast and author of Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection & Collaboration to Transform Your Family and the World. Join us for an introduction to how white supremacy, patriarchy, and capitalism shape family dynamics and influence parenting approaches, and how to shift out of traditional power dynamics to make family life easier and more connecting. Jen shares powerful insights and practical tools to help parents navigate conflicts and create family environments where everyone's needs—parents' and children's alike—are honored. From addressing the micro moments where resistance in children shows up to exploring deep concepts like white supremacy, patriarchy, and capitalism and how they intersect in our families, this episode offers a roadmap for transforming family relationships and beyond. Whether you’re a parent seeking to navigate the pressures of modern life or someone looking to create a more just and collaborative family dynamic, this episode is packed with inspiration and actionable strategies. Tune in and start building a family culture rooted in equality, trust, and compassion today. About Jen Lumanlan JEN LUMANLAN, MS, MEd, (she/her) hosts the Your Parenting Mojo podcast, which was named Best Research-Based Parenting Podcast by Lifehacker and has been downloaded almost 4 million times. After attending Berkeley and Yale and following a traditional career path in sustainability consulting, Jen found that parenting was her toughest challenge yet. She went back to school for a master’s degree in psychology focused on child development and another in education, and trained as a Co-Active coach to share what she learned with other parents. Her work has been featured in outlets such as Psychology Today, Romper, and NPR. Jen is the author of Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection and Collaboration to Transform Your Family - and the World. Jen’s Resources Facebook: Instagram: Website: Take Jen’s quiz: Tell Me What My Child Needs! When you understand your child's most important need and meet that more often, they'll stop resisting you as much. Read Jen’s book: Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection & Collaboration to Transform Your Family and the World: Listen to Jen’s podcast: Your Parenting Mojo: (open anytime; just $7 with coupon code ALIMILLER) - shows you how to set limits effectively, and also set far fewer of them than you ever thought possible, without being a permissive parent! (opens every ~Oct and Feb) - helps parents understand the real causes of their triggered feelings, begin to heal those hurts so they feel triggered less often, and repair more effectively on the fewer occasions when it does still happen. (opens every May) - provides ongoing support for parenting challenges - from tantrums/meltdowns, screen time, and raising healthy eaters to getting on the same page with your parenting partner. Connect with Ali Miller Stop Fighting! (without stuffing your feelings or sacrificing your needs) 8-Week Private Coaching Program for Couples: https://www.alimillercoaching.com/stopfighting Website: https://www.AliMillerCoaching.com Instagram: NVC for Couples Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/nvcforcouples/ Email: Ali@AliMillerCoaching.com
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21: Self-Regulation Strategies for Thriving Relationships with Dr. Gila
11/23/2024
21: Self-Regulation Strategies for Thriving Relationships with Dr. Gila
In Episode 21 of the Love Each Other Better podcast, I’m joined by clinical psychologist, neuropsychologist, and certified parenting coach, Dr. Gila, to explore self-regulation strategies and their transformative impact on intimate relationships. Dr. Gila is a master at simplifying complex concepts in interpersonal neurobiology while providing practical, actionable tools for managing emotional stress so we can thrive in our relationships. In this illuminating episode that is infused with compassion, Dr. Gila discusses the importance of self-awareness, daily self-care practices, and how to effectively navigate moments of emotional overwhelm. You’ll gain insights into the fight-flight-freeze response, what happens when we "flip our lids," practical ways to pause and reconnect, and how to strengthen emotional resilience within relationships. Tune in for science-based strategies, compassionate expert advice, and empowering tools to love each other better—even in the toughest moments. ~ Dr. Gila (she/her) is a Jai-certified parent coach and certified Clini-Coach®, in addition to being a clinical psychologist and neuropsychologist. Most importantly, she’s a single mom. Dr. Gila specializes in single parenting with connection, not perfection. She is passionate about helping single parents build healthy relationships with their kids AND themselves, through workshops, individual coaching, and her group program, The SingleParentology™ Lab. Her motto is: Even if you're on your own, you don't have to do it alone! Connect with Dr. Gila! COACHING: Dr. Gila Parenting Website: Email: IG: FB: Free resources: PDF GUIDE: Tantrums, & Meltdowns, & Rages...Oh My! The single parent's guide to understanding challenging behaviors () AUDIO: Guided Meditation for Single Parents () VIDEO: What Every Parent Needs to Know When the S**T Hits the Fan. () THERAPY: GZR Psychology Services, PLLC * Website: * Email: * Phone: 914-292-3978 * Location: Fully virtual. NYS residents only. * Insurance: Private pay. Superbills offered where appropriate. Connect with Ali Miller
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20: Building Connection: The Intersection of Neuroscience and Nonviolent Communication, with Sarah Peyton
10/29/2024
20: Building Connection: The Intersection of Neuroscience and Nonviolent Communication, with Sarah Peyton
In this enlightening episode I'm joined by Sarah Peyton, a renowned neuroscience educator, author, and certified Nonviolent Communication trainer. We delve into the fascinating intersection of neuroscience and Nonviolent Communication, unpacking how our understanding of trauma, nervous system states, and attachment styles can profoundly influence our relationships. Key Topics Include: The neuroscience of attachment styles and their impact on relationships How trauma affects emotional regulation and relational dynamics The role of Nonviolent Communication in fostering secure attachments Insights into different attachment styles and their significance The healing potential of emotional accompaniment in relationships Practical resources for those struggling with relationship challenges Whether you’re seeking to deepen your connections or navigate relationship hurdles, this episode highlights the transformative power of both understanding the neuroscience of relationships and practicing Nonviolent Communication to enhance relational dynamics and emotional well-being. Tune in for an inspiring conversation that equips you with the tools we all need to love each other better! RESOURCES Sarah Peyton's resources Website: Go to and press the Start Healing Now button to receive the free guided meditations Sarah mentioned in this episode Facebook Youtube Instagram Linked In Ali Miller's resources **Small Group Coaching Program for Couples** Website: Instagram Facebook 💞 Join my : NVC for Couples: Transform Your Relationship One Conversation at a Time
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19: "How do we find time to connect in our busy lives?" Live Coaching with Noelle + Frank
10/16/2024
19: "How do we find time to connect in our busy lives?" Live Coaching with Noelle + Frank
How do you keep the spark alive with your partner when life feels like a never-ending to-do list? In this very special episode, you get to be a fly on the wall as I sit down with Noelle and Frank, a married couple caught in the familiar struggle of staying emotionally and physically connected amid the demands of modern family life. Through live, real-time coaching, we: Uncover the hidden assumptions, miscommunication, and unmet needs creating distance between them. Use Nonviolent Communication (NVC) tools to clear up misunderstandings and foster deeper empathy. Craft a practical, personalized plan to reconnect in ways that truly work for each of them. You’ll witness firsthand how this NVC-based coaching helped Noelle and Frank move from frustration to clarity—from feeling stuck to having a solid action plan for lasting connection. Join us for an unfiltered, heartfelt conversation about how to nurture love, intimacy, and understanding when your relationship is buried under logistics and obligations. Because thriving partnerships don’t happen by chance—they’re built intentionally, one heart-centered conversation at a time. Resources Stop Fighting! (without stuffing your feelings and sacrificing your needs): 8-Week Private Coaching Program for Couples: Ali's website: Would you like to get coached on the podcast? Email to express your interest and Ali will get back to you soon!
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18: Exploring Ethical Non-Monogamy with Dr. Rachael Meir
10/01/2024
18: Exploring Ethical Non-Monogamy with Dr. Rachael Meir
In this inspiring episode, we explore the nuances of ethical non-monogamy (ENM) with Dr. Rachael Meir, addressing common questions and concerns about polyamory, open relationships, and other forms of ethical/consensual non-monogamy. Dr. Meir breaks down the distinctions between terms like ENM and polyamory, explaining how ENM serves as an umbrella concept for a variety of relationship dynamics. We delve into how to create mutually satisfying agreements, manage complex emotions like jealousy, and ensure clear communication within non-monogamous relationships. Drawing from her expertise in relationships and personal experience, Dr. Meir offers practical insights on how to approach ENM thoughtfully—whether you're exploring it for the first time or already practicing it. We also discuss how non-monogamous relationships challenge the idea that one partner should meet all of our emotional and physical needs and how embracing individual autonomy within partnerships can lead to more fulfilling connections. For those feeling curious but cautious or wondering how to navigate conversations about opening up a relationship, or succeeding in your already-established non-monogamous relationships, this episode offers valuable guidance. Tune in as we address listener questions and explore how to create ethical, transparent, and consent-driven agreements in non-monogamous relationships. Guest Expert Bio and Links Dr. Rachael Meir is a licensed Clinical Psychologist and a Certified Clinical Sexuality Coach with over 15 years of experience in the field. She earned her PsyD (Doctorate of Psychology) from the PGSP-Stanford PsyD Consortium and BA from the University of Colorado, Boulder. Dr. Meir is sex-positive, LGBTQIA+ affirming, BDSM/kink aware and she specializes in ethical/consensual non-monogamy, including swinging, open relationships, polyamory, and other alternative relationships and lifestyles. As a bisexual woman living in a polyamorous triad relationship herself, she is dedicated to helping people navigate the challenges of opening their relationships and successfully sustaining multiple sexual and romantic partnerships. Ali's Resources Learn more about Stop Fighting! (without stuffing your feelings or sacrificing your needs) 8-Week Private Coaching Program for Couples:
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17: "I hate my spouse!"
09/09/2024
17: "I hate my spouse!"
In this episode, we dive into the hard-to-admit but common feeling of "hating" your spouse. What does it really mean when those emotions surface, and where do they come from? We'll explore the dysfunctional communication patterns—like criticism, contempt, and defensiveness—that often fuel resentment and emotional distance in relationships. More importantly, we’ll break down how unmet needs can drive those patterns and offer practical ways to interrupt the cycle, rebuild trust, and reconnect with your partner. If you’ve ever felt stuck in a negative dynamic, this episode is for you. Tune in to discover how to shift from conflict to collaboration, and start healing the disconnect. Resources: Stop Fighting! (without stuffing your feelings or sacrificing your needs) 8-Week Private Coaching Program for Couples: Free Feelings and Needs lists: The 4 Steps to Stop Any Fight without Giving In: Free Mini-Course: Book a call!
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16: The #1 Mistake Couples Make
08/16/2024
16: The #1 Mistake Couples Make
In this episode we’re diving into the most common and critical mistake couples make—and it's not what you might think. Join me to explore why waiting until your relationship is in crisis before seeking support can be a recipe for heartbreak. I'll share insights from over two decades of working with couples, revealing the patterns that lead to thriving partnerships and those that struggle to survive. We'll break down the importance of proactive relationship support, normalizing the need for it long before things reach a breaking point. Whether you're early on in your relationship, newlyweds, expecting or current parents, or empty-nesters, this episode will inspire you to enhance your relationship skills now, rather than waiting until it's too late. Through this conversation, I aim to shift the narrative around couples therapy and couples coaching, encouraging you to see it as a powerful tool for growth and connection, not just a last resort. Tune in to learn how the skills taught in Nonviolent Communication can be a game-changer for your relationship, helping you and your partner communicate better, navigate conflict with compassion, and ultimately, love each other better. Links : Schedule a no-pressure consult call with Ali to talk about how you can get your relationship from where it is to where you want it to be --> www.calendly.com/alimillercoaching/45-minute-consultation (without stuffing your feelings or sacrificing your needs): 8-Week Private Coaching Program for Couples --> www.alimillercoaching.com/stopfighting Email me: ali@alimillercoaching.com
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15: Empowering our Kids through Collaborative Problem-Solving
07/30/2024
15: Empowering our Kids through Collaborative Problem-Solving
This episode is a bit different from my usual focus on romantic relationships, as I dive into the parent-child dynamic. While today's discussion is tailored for parents, the principles I'll explore are just as applicable to your relationship with your partner or anyone you spend time with, making this episode valuable for everyone. As a mom to a four-year-old, parenting has become a central part of my life, prompting me to seek out resources and support that align with my values. After attending a recent parenting summit, I felt compelled to share insights on enhancing our relationships with our children through the lens of Nonviolent Communication (NVC). In this episode, we'll delve into the essence of NVC that has become my anchor in parenting: collaborative problem-solving. We'll discuss how collaboration, rooted in the core NVC principle that everyone's needs matter, can transform our decision-making processes and strengthen our bonds with our kids. By prioritizing a collaborative mindset, we can move away from the traditional "power-over" mode and create an environment where our children's voices are heard and valued. Whether you're navigating everyday decisions like what to eat for a snack or more significant choices like schooling options, embracing collaboration can help ensure that all needs are considered. I'll share personal stories and practical strategies on how to slow down, lean into moments of disagreement, and foster a family dynamic where everyone's needs are honored. Join me as to explore how this approach not only empowers our children but also lays the foundation for healthier, more connected relationships across the board. Even if you don't have kids, the principles I discuss will resonate with anyone looking to improve their communication and relationship skills. Tune in to discover how embracing a collaborative mindset can help us all love each other better. And don't forget to share your thoughts and experiences in my private Facebook group, NVC for Couples: Transform Your Relationship One Conversation at a Time, or message me on Instagram @alimillercoaching. I can't wait to hear from you! Resources Join my private Facebook Group, NVC for Couples: Transform Your Relationship One Conversation at a Time: Follow or message me on Instagram:
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14: Client Spotlight: Margot and Dan
07/11/2024
14: Client Spotlight: Margot and Dan
In episode 14, "Client Spotlight: Margot and Dan," I have something truly special for you. This is my first episode featuring a real, live couple who have been coaching clients of mine. Margot and Dan sat down with me to share their journey, experiences, and the transformative impact of NVC and coaching on their relationship. In this episode, you'll hear firsthand about the challenges they've overcome, the skills they've honed, and the growth they've achieved together. They even demonstrate some of the communication techniques they've been practicing as they work through a real issue, offering a glimpse into the practical side of couples coaching and what you'll learn to do if you work with me. I'm thrilled to introduce you to these two amazing individuals and share their inspiring story with you. This is an episode you won't want to miss! Resources
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