#28: When Your Role Outpaces Your Support System: Five Rules That Strengthen Leadership

The Hidden Cost of Success

 

Leadership can be crowded — yet isolating.

You can be surrounded by people all day and still feel completely alone. It’s one of the most overlooked truths in leadership: the higher you rise, the fewer true peers you have. Decisions get heavier. The stakes get higher. And the space for authenticity gets smaller.

In this episode of The MPWR Podcast, Eric Pfeiffer, CEO of MPWR Coaching, and co-host Dawn Neldon explore the unseen cost of leadership success — isolation — and how to overcome it through trust, vulnerability, and connection.

“We tell ourselves that we’re protecting the team, moving fast, avoiding drama,” Eric says. “But if we’re brutally honest, we’re actually protecting ourselves.”

What begins as emotional self-protection eventually turns into disconnection. Leaders stop inviting questions. They shorten updates. They share less of the why. And when people don’t understand, Eric explains, they fill in the blanks — usually with negativity or suspicion.

That silence creates distance. Distance breeds mistrust. And mistrust accelerates burnout — not just for the leader, but for the entire team.

Dawn captures this tension perfectly:

“On the surface, leadership looks like having a voice and power and authority. But behind the scenes, it often feels so lonely.”

Confidentiality, context, and responsibility can make leadership feel like a solo sport. But the truth is, human beings aren’t built for isolation.

 

The Trust Code: The Antidote to Disconnection

Eric introduces one of MPWR Coaching’s cornerstone tools: The Trust Code — a practical framework built on three universal human needs.
Every person — and every leader — needs to feel seen, heard, and valued.

“When people don’t feel seen, they start to wonder if their effort matters,” Eric explains. “When they don’t feel heard, they stop offering perspective. And when they don’t feel valued, they eventually disengage.”

When trust breaks, culture follows. But when leaders intentionally create spaces where both they and their teams feel seen, heard, and valued, something powerful happens: alignment returns. Energy returns. Connection returns.

As Dawn points out, teams mirror their leaders.

“If we’re withdrawn, they pull back too. If we’re guarded, they get guarded.”

Building trust isn’t optional — it’s foundational.

 

Leading with Healthy Vulnerability

Still, there’s a question many leaders wrestle with: How vulnerable is too vulnerable?

Dawn asks what every listener is thinking:

“Isn’t this risky? Opening ourselves up like this feels vulnerable. People might not like what they see. They might second-guess our leadership.”

Eric’s response reframes vulnerability not as risk, but as responsibility.

“The best leaders aren’t the ones who never show weakness,” he says. “They’re the ones who create enough trust that people know they’re human — approachable and steady, even when things are hard.”

 

He goes on to outline five rules of engagement — a roadmap for leading with authenticity and wisdom:

1. Don’t expect your team to carry your burden.
   “People who are not at your level can’t fully understand the weight you carry — nor should they,” Eric says. Vulnerability isn’t about pity; it’s about clarity.

2. Practice discipline and discretion.
   “Discipline and discretion are a leader’s best friends,” he adds. “The who, where, when, what, and how of sharing matter.”

3. Discern your team’s capacity.
   Just as parents tailor conversations to a child’s maturity, leaders must gauge their team’s readiness to handle certain truths.

4. Model healthy openness.
   Share to build trust, not to seek rescue. “When we’re honest about challenges and purpose, not personal chaos, we strengthen our team’s trust and ownership,” Eric says.

5. Have a coach.
   “Have a coach — please,” Eric insists. “We all need someone who gives us a safe space to be messy, so we can clean it up and grow.”

Dawn expands on this beautifully:

“When we’re young, no one questions the need for teachers or coaches. But somewhere after 30, we start thinking we should already know it all. Asking for help starts to feel like weakness. But it’s not — it’s wisdom.”

 

Stories That Bring It Home

To make these principles tangible, Eric shares two real-world coaching stories.

The first: a high-performing CEO who built an exceptional executive team, only to slowly withdraw under pressure. As trust cracked, loneliness grew. With coaching and intentional reconnection, he rebuilt that trust — and reignited his energy, clarity, and presence as a leader.

“You could see it in his meetings,” Eric recalls. “His body language, his tone, his energy — everything shifted once he reconnected with his team.”

The second: a creative, high-profile leader who shared too much. Oversharing with friends and colleagues blurred lines and drained credibility. What began as authenticity slipped into a victim mindset — and people started to lose trust.

“He wasn’t practicing discretion,” Eric explains. “When we expect others to carry our burdens for us instead of supporting us as we carry them, we lose credibility.”

Both stories illustrate the same truth: isolation and overexposure are two sides of the same coin. Healthy leadership lives in the balance between honesty and stewardship.

 

The Courage to Connect

At its heart, this episode is about reclaiming humanity in leadership — rediscovering that strength isn’t about perfection, but presence.

“It’s okay to ask for help,” Eric reminds us. “The best leaders aren’t the ones who look unbreakable — they’re the ones who build enough trust that people know they’re human.”

Dawn closes with an invitation every leader needs to hear:

“Take a moment and ask yourself — do I feel seen, heard, and valued? And if not, where can I pull some levers to change that?”

Because leadership doesn’t have to be lonely.
The cure for isolation isn’t silence — it’s connection.
And the journey back to connection begins with one choice: to be real, not just right.

 

🎧 Listen now to “Leading Alone: The Hidden Cost of Success” and rediscover what it means to lead with authenticity, trust, and courage.

👉 Subscribe to The MPWR Podcast wherever you listen, and visit mpwrcoaching.com for more leadership resources, masterminds, and tools to help you lead well — from the inside out.

 

 

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Eric has released a new book that takes this conversation even further:

👉 Upgrade Your Leadership: 8 Foundational Tools to Overcome Drama, Build Trust, and Thrive Under Pressure

 

This book is more than a leadership manual; it’s a blueprint for transformation. Eric shows how to:

• Identify the drama cycles that drain energy and derail teams.

• Build trust intentionally rather than assuming it will emerge on its own.

• Thrive under pressure by upgrading the internal system that drives every leadership decision.

• And yes—set boundaries that strengthen leadership rather than weaken it.

 

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Are you ready to unlock your full potential and lead with purpose, clarity, and conviction?

The MPWR Podcast, hosted by Eric Pfeiffer, CEO of MPWR Coaching, is your go-to space for transformational conversations, powerful insights, and practical strategies to help you step into the next level of your leadership journey. Whether you're scaling your business, seeking greater alignment in life, or stepping into your calling—this podcast will challenge, inspire, and empower you.

Want more tools to accelerate your growth? Head over to mpwrcoaching.com where you'll find free resources, game-changing books, and programs designed to elevate your mindset, build resilience, and transform the way you lead—from the inside out.

🔥 Subscribe to the MPWR Podcast on your favorite platform.
📲 Follow Eric Pfeiffer across social media (links available on the website).
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🔗 Check out our Leadership Framework System

 

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