How to Create Secure, Lasting Love in a Long-Term Relationship with Dr. Stan Tatkin | 60
This Tantric Life with Layla Martin
Release Date: 06/01/2025
The Local Witch’s Guide to Finally Being Seen with Emily Fletcher | Ep 63
This Tantric Life with Layla Martin
Shownotes How to use pain to carve out space for more joy The key to re-establishing beautiful orgasmic experiences Layla’s experience training terror into safety in her nervous system The tools that allowed Layla to love greater than her relational trauma Why some of our earliest imprints of whether pleasure is safe happen in infancy How to heal trauma from a resource perspective so it becomes a gift Bio Emily Fletcher is the founder of Ziva Meditation and has taught over 50,000 people. Her best-selling book, Stress Less, Accomplish More, debuted at #7 out...
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Why Your Erotic Power is the Key to Female Leadership with Nisha Moodley | ep 62
This Tantric Life with Layla Martin
Shownotes Nisha’s core components of leadership and why they’re so important The internal narrative Layla used to carry around leadership How to be both soft and gentle and ferocious and fiery as a woman Why we are exhausted from hypervigilance Steps you can take right now to build your own sanctuary Why the world represses mothers from their eroticism Bio Nisha Moodley is a Devotional Leadership guide, founder of Global Sisterhood Day, host of Devotion Podcast and a mother. As a biracial woman with training in health and executive coaching, ancestral...
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The Deepest Relational Work I've Ever Done {New Podcast!} | 62
This Tantric Life with Layla Martin
Shownotes Why relational work has the ability to heal things that solo work can’t How to be fully present with what’s true in the moment Why deeper inquiry into yourself is at the heart of the spiritual journey The beautiful thing about disintegration and why it’s so important Why hiding your power creates disarray Tom’s top advice for connecting with yourself on a deeper level Bio From a young age, Tom Slater sought to learn through direct experience, a path that has taken him across the globe, immersing himself in many traditional and indigenous...
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The Best Sex Advice of 2025 with Dr. Emily Morse | 61
This Tantric Life with Layla Martin
Shownotes The best and worst sex ideas of 2025 The one piece of advice Layla would give to everyone Why safety is the #1 ingredient for being orgasmic The biggest sexual problems people face Dr. Emily’s take on why people cheat How sex is a multi-layered experience Bio Emily Morse is a doctor of human sexuality and host of the award-winning #1 sexuality podcast, “Sex With Emily,” which has been on air for two decades. She’s a MasterClass instructor on sex and communication and the bestselling author of Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ & Own...
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How to Create Secure, Lasting Love in a Long-Term Relationship with Dr. Stan Tatkin | 60
This Tantric Life with Layla Martin
Shownotes The difference between secure attachment and secure functioning Why a deep desire for love is underneath all attachment styles How shared purpose in your relationship brings you closer Why you have to become a whisperer for your partner One of Dr. Tatkin’s top ways to create safety for your partner The biggest mistake people make in modern dating Bio Dr. Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT is a clinician, author, researcher, PACT developer, co-founder of the PACT Institute and an assistant clinical professor at UCLA, David Geffen School of Medicine. He also teaches and supervises...
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My Most Powerful Sex Magic Ritual 59
This Tantric Life with Layla Martin
Shownotes Layla’s most powerful manifestation ritual Why you have to grieve to step onto a new timeline The key to digesting a negative or heavy experience How to do Sex Magic in 10-15 minutes Bio Layla Martin is a visionary and thought leader who teaches on sexuality, relationships and self-love to people across the globe. Her devoted study of Tantra for 20+ years along with her sexuality, neuroscience and human biology studies at Stanford University have informed her unique teaching process and the creation of her proprietary VITA™...
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How to Stop Chasing Unavailable Men and Magnetize a Devoted Husband with Mel Wells | 58
This Tantric Life with Layla Martin
Shownotes Why the archetype of successful women is often unsuccessful in love The hardest thing about keeping things sexy as a mother Why rewiring ourselves for healthy love means being available to be chosen How the feminine archetypes impact dating and relationships Why we choose the love that feels comfortable to us, even if it hurts us Mel’s best advice for anyone who is worried about dying alone Bio Mel Wells is a world-renowned 7-figure love and leadership mentor for successful female entrepreneurs. She empowers women to create the love lives and...
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Meet My First Boyfriend and All the Ways I F**cked It Up | 57
This Tantric Life with Layla Martin
Shownotes The story behind the quasi-cheating incident that ended the relationship Why Ryan and Layla’s first kiss went horribly wrong How to take full responsibility for your actions and impact on others Why Ryan showed up at the Stanford campus in a full-on chicken costume How radical love is different than self-sacrificing What Ryan and Layla learned from opening their relationship Bio Ryan Cheney is a therapist, seeker, and guide devoted to the process of inner transformation. Based in Austin, TX, he works with individuals and couples to uncover what...
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Hot Flashes to Hot Sex: The Power of Pleasure in Menopause with Eva Clay | 56
This Tantric Life with Layla Martin
Shownotes What Eva learned through menopause that she wishes she had known The science behind body changes in perimenopause and menopause Some of the key practices Eva recommends for midlife How meditation supports perimenopause and menopause How Eva’s needs with men and relationships changed through menopause Why Eva calls Kali the Patron Goddess of Menopause Bio Eva Clay is an acclaimed sexologist, psychotherapist and professional troublemaker whose mission is to illuminate the ménage-a-trois of soul, sex and science. She's helped thousands of...
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Taking Psychedelics and Learning to Love Yourself Dr. Nick Brüss | 55
This Tantric Life with Layla Martin
Shownotes Exactly what Internal Family Systems therapy is The actual mechanism that creates the most profound level of healing Psychedelics as a loving catalyst to know ourselves more The truth about psychedelic stigma Why it’s important to prepare your set and setting with psychedelics The difference between doses of psilocybin Bio Nick Brüss, EdD, LMFT, is a leading licensed psychedelic therapist, researcher and educator who is passionate about inspiring and helping people heal, grow and live creative lives. He’s pioneering treatments and programs that...
info_outlineShownotes
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The difference between secure attachment and secure functioning
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Why a deep desire for love is underneath all attachment styles
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How shared purpose in your relationship brings you closer
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Why you have to become a whisperer for your partner
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One of Dr. Tatkin’s top ways to create safety for your partner
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The biggest mistake people make in modern dating
Bio
Dr. Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT is a clinician, author, researcher, PACT developer, co-founder of the PACT Institute and an assistant clinical professor at UCLA, David Geffen School of Medicine. He also teaches and supervises family medicine residents at Kaiser Permanente, Woodland Hills, CA.
He maintains a private practice in Southern California and leads PACT programs in
the US and internationally. Dr Tatkin is the author of In Each Other’s Care, We Do, Wired for Love, Your Brain on Love, Relationship Rx, Wired for Dating, What Every Therapist Ought to Know, co-author of Love and War in Intimate Relationships and co-author of Baby Bomb.
Dr. Tatkin received his early training in developmental self and object relations (Masterson Institute), Gestalt, psychodrama, and family systems theory. His private practice specialized for some time in treating adolescents and adults with personality disorders. More recently, his interests turned to psycho-neurobiological theories of human relationship and applying principles of early mother-infant attachment to adult romantic relationships.
Dr. Tatkin was clinical director of Charter Hospital’s intensive outpatient drug and alcohol program and is a former president of the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists, Ventura County chapter.
He is a veteran member of Allan N. Schore’s study group. He also trained in the Adult Attachment Interview by way of Mary Main and Erik Hesse’s program through UC Berkeley.
Timestamps
00:00:43 - Guest introduction
00:03:58 - The difference between secure attachment and secure functioning
00:06:00 - How to find compassion for an anxious or avoidant
00:09:59 - Sign up for Layla’s newsletter at LaylaMartin.com
00:11:49 - Layla describes an avoidant’s experience as a baby
00:13:19 - Why a deep desire for love is underneath all attachment styles
00:16:17 - Attachment isn’t personality, it’s memory
00:21:49 - Plan for your devils, not your angels
00:25:43 - How shared purpose in your relationship brings you closer
00:26:54 - Discover the VITA™ Sex, Love and Relationship Coaching Certification
00:33:32 - Dr. Tatkin’s advice for the moments you see your partner as an enemy
00:37:27 - Discover MOOD™ Sex Magic
00:38:20 - What do you secretly put in front of your relationship?
00:45:48 - Why you have to become a whisperer for your partner
00:46:53 - How to learn to take care of your partner’s nervous system
00:49:14 - Fall in love with your body and unlock outrageous orgasms with Obliss
00:50:50 - One of Dr. Tatkin’s top ways to create safety for your partner
00:54:05 - Why apologizing can subconsciously feel like weakness
00:57:11 - Dr. Tatkin explains the details of “The Couple Bubble”
01:00:34 - What Dr. Tatkin sees that the happiest long term couples do
01:03:50 - Insecures don’t believe there’s such a thing as fairness and justice
01:05:44 - The biggest mistake people make in modern dating
01:08:07 - Dr. Tatkin celebrates his wife and his relationship
01:11:55 - Secure functioning is very hard but it’s worth it
01:12:00 - Conclusion