How to Create Secure, Lasting Love in a Long-Term Relationship with Dr. Stan Tatkin | 60
This Tantric Life with Layla Martin
Release Date: 06/01/2025
How to Stay Madly in Love During Conflict with Your Partner
This Tantric Life with Layla Martin
Shownotes Take your business to the next level with my Layla explains what she calls the 3% in a relationship Why it’s important to process challenges somatically using your bodies The #1 question Layla asks herself when conflict arises How to use conflict as a vehicle into a deeper level of connection How a couple in their 70s went from roommates to intimacy, safety, and turn-on Bio Fabienne Annick is a Sex, Love & Spirit Coach who sees sexuality and partnership as profound mirrors for self-awareness and gateways to healing, growth, and magic. Her...
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The Hidden Teachings of Mary Magdalene and the Radical Love We Were Never Taught
This Tantric Life with Layla Martin
Shownotes Take your business to the next level with my Exactly what the “witch wound” is and where it lives in your body The one thing Layla would change in the Catholic teachings Why spiritual lies live inside our bodies as self-hatred How spirituality impacts our ability to be a sexual being What most people still don’t understand about Mary Magdalene Bio Meggan Watterson is the Wall Street Journal bestselling author of Mary Magdalene Revealed. She is a feminist theologian with a Master of Theological Studies from Harvard Divinity School and a...
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What This Acclaimed Sex Therapist Wants You to Know
This Tantric Life with Layla Martin
Shownotes Take your business to the next level with my Ian’s definition of great sex and how you can bring it into practice Why basic chemical attraction is part of what keeps couples together How dating apps impact relational and sexual experiences The number one key to Ian and his wife’s sex life after 25 years together A daily practice for men and one for women to enhance presence and pleasure Bio Ian Kerner, PhD, LMFT is a licensed psychotherapist and nationally recognized sex therapist who works with individuals and couples on a range of relational issues that...
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What It Really Means to be Multi-Orgasmic
This Tantric Life with Layla Martin
Shownotes Take your business to the next level with my Different ways we unknowingly leak our sexual energy in modern life Key ways to begin rebuilding your sexual energy How exchanging energy with your partner leads to increased pleasure What obstacles men face in becoming multi-orgasmic and how to fix them A simple practice to feel your Qi in less than 30 seconds Bio Lee Holden is a Qi Gong Master who has brought ancient tradition to the mainstream. He’s the author of the bestselling book Ready, Set, SLOW and a PBS favorite with shows such as Less Stress, More Energy...
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That One Time I Had Sex in a Cemetery (and Other Tales About Desire)
This Tantric Life with Layla Martin
Shownotes Take your business to the next level with my How the American approach to pleasure compares to other cultures Layla shares one of her favorite cemetery sex stories The #1 way to get back into a sexual headspace How to approach shame around your sexuality Dr. Kate shares a take home practice you can use to connect with your body sexually Bio Dr. Kate Balestrieri, Psy.D is a Licensed Psychologist (Clinical and Forensic) in California, Florida, New York, and Illinois. She’s a Certified Sex Therapist, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist – Supervisor, and PACT III...
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Beyond Love: The Hidden Keys to Lasting Connection with Andrew Horn
This Tantric Life with Layla Martin
Show Notes Take your business to the next level with my The difference between objective truth vs. your truth (a.k.a. how to stop arguing with your own assumptions) A practical script for conflict that doesn’t melt into blame soup The Five A’s of Requests (Ask, Acknowledgement, Apology, Action, Agreements) How to repair trust and build integrity like it’s a daily gym routine Why “Do you want to be heard, helped, or held?” is the relationship cheat code Men’s work, shame alchemy, and the real work of becoming who you say you are Bio Andrew Horn is an...
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What To Do When Your Childhood Trauma Is Hijacking Your Relationship
This Tantric Life with Layla Martin
Shownotes Take your business to the next level with my How Shay’s childhood taught her the impact trauma has on adult relationships Why we have a tendency to draw in partners who are a perfect match for our wound How to know if you’re in a dead end dynamic in your relationship The one question Shay asks herself when her inner saboteur comes up The importance of loving your parts so they don’t hijack you in destructive ways Bio Shay Aiyana is the best-selling author of Becoming the One and the founder of Rising Woman, a global community dedicated to self-healing, relational...
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What to Do When Your Life Is "Perfect" but Your Soul Is Screaming
This Tantric Life with Layla Martin
Shownotes What Sarah’s awakening and transition into feminine magic looked like What sacred feminine ceremony actually is How Sarah’s marriage was impacted by her awakening Why women’s true happiness lies in their connection to themselves The hardest parts about learning the Priestess path The process Sarah went through to overcome her witch wound Bio Sarah thought she was destined to have an "in the box" life after going to a top college, working in advertising and then creating a successful emotional eating company. All of that changed when Sarah was introduced to...
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This Therapist Taught Me How to Go from Hot Mess to Girlfriend of the Year
This Tantric Life with Layla Martin
Shownotes The difference between individual empowerment and relational empowerment Which quadrant of the grid Layla is on and how she got there Why Terry calls our relationships our “biosphere” Terry’s best advice for shifting out of anger and into connection A powerful guided boundary practice to follow along with Bio Terry Real is an internationally recognized family therapist, speaker and best-selling author committed to helping you build the lasting, loving relationships you deserve. The author of four books, including the recent New York Times...
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How to Awaken Your Cervix and Experience Cosmic Pleasure
This Tantric Life with Layla Martin
Shownotes Why the cervix alters your state of consciousness How to move through a violation with your cervix What basic cervical dearmoring looks like inside your body The importance of understanding sovereignty in a relationship The phases of dearmoring safely Olivia’s advice for reaching exquisite cosmic cervical orgasms Bio Olivia Bryant is the founder of Self:Cervix and creator of the Cervical Awakening Pathway – a profound journey into the body, love and creative power through activating the cervix. For over a decade, Olivia has explored the cervix as...
info_outlineShownotes
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The difference between secure attachment and secure functioning
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Why a deep desire for love is underneath all attachment styles
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How shared purpose in your relationship brings you closer
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Why you have to become a whisperer for your partner
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One of Dr. Tatkin’s top ways to create safety for your partner
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The biggest mistake people make in modern dating
Bio
Dr. Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT is a clinician, author, researcher, PACT developer, co-founder of the PACT Institute and an assistant clinical professor at UCLA, David Geffen School of Medicine. He also teaches and supervises family medicine residents at Kaiser Permanente, Woodland Hills, CA.
He maintains a private practice in Southern California and leads PACT programs in
the US and internationally. Dr Tatkin is the author of In Each Other’s Care, We Do, Wired for Love, Your Brain on Love, Relationship Rx, Wired for Dating, What Every Therapist Ought to Know, co-author of Love and War in Intimate Relationships and co-author of Baby Bomb.
Dr. Tatkin received his early training in developmental self and object relations (Masterson Institute), Gestalt, psychodrama, and family systems theory. His private practice specialized for some time in treating adolescents and adults with personality disorders. More recently, his interests turned to psycho-neurobiological theories of human relationship and applying principles of early mother-infant attachment to adult romantic relationships.
Dr. Tatkin was clinical director of Charter Hospital’s intensive outpatient drug and alcohol program and is a former president of the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists, Ventura County chapter.
He is a veteran member of Allan N. Schore’s study group. He also trained in the Adult Attachment Interview by way of Mary Main and Erik Hesse’s program through UC Berkeley.
Timestamps
00:00:43 - Guest introduction
00:03:58 - The difference between secure attachment and secure functioning
00:06:00 - How to find compassion for an anxious or avoidant
00:09:59 - Sign up for Layla’s newsletter at LaylaMartin.com
00:11:49 - Layla describes an avoidant’s experience as a baby
00:13:19 - Why a deep desire for love is underneath all attachment styles
00:16:17 - Attachment isn’t personality, it’s memory
00:21:49 - Plan for your devils, not your angels
00:25:43 - How shared purpose in your relationship brings you closer
00:26:54 - Discover the VITA™ Sex, Love and Relationship Coaching Certification
00:33:32 - Dr. Tatkin’s advice for the moments you see your partner as an enemy
00:37:27 - Discover MOOD™ Sex Magic
00:38:20 - What do you secretly put in front of your relationship?
00:45:48 - Why you have to become a whisperer for your partner
00:46:53 - How to learn to take care of your partner’s nervous system
00:49:14 - Fall in love with your body and unlock outrageous orgasms with Obliss
00:50:50 - One of Dr. Tatkin’s top ways to create safety for your partner
00:54:05 - Why apologizing can subconsciously feel like weakness
00:57:11 - Dr. Tatkin explains the details of “The Couple Bubble”
01:00:34 - What Dr. Tatkin sees that the happiest long term couples do
01:03:50 - Insecures don’t believe there’s such a thing as fairness and justice
01:05:44 - The biggest mistake people make in modern dating
01:08:07 - Dr. Tatkin celebrates his wife and his relationship
01:11:55 - Secure functioning is very hard but it’s worth it
01:12:00 - Conclusion