Ep. 29 - FOPO - Fear Of People's Opinions

Another Monday, another great day to be alive! I’m here to share our life experiences, helping us all grow together. So, let’s kick off today with a moment of gratitude before diving into today’s topics, and I'll share a little something about how you can support me today.

First up, I’m really thankful for the people who hold me accountable. I’ve been incredibly fortunate to find folks who push and challenge me exactly where I need it. Each week, I come here to share my ideals with the world, and it’s these very people who keep me true to these ideals. Like anyone, I make mistakes, letting fear or that wounded inner child make decisions for me. But having people around who hold me accountable helps me correct my course swiftly. So, a huge thank you to everyone who pushes me toward the direction I aim to go.

Now, let’s talk about speaking—something I absolutely love and am pretty good at. Recently, I revisited a list from EOS, the Entrepreneurial Operating System, categorizing things I love and excel at, things I like and am good at, and so on. And, speaking is right there at the top! Whether it’s workshops, keynotes, or other speaking gigs, I relish the chance to stand before an audience and share my ideals.

This brings me to my latest endeavor, the "Language of Leadership" workshop that I'll be presenting at the Waste Expo. With around 15,000 attendees, I’m geared up to speak to about 200-300 of you there, discussing how we can overcome limiting beliefs about leadership through better communication.

Shifting gears, let’s touch on FOPO—fear of other people's opinions, a concept I just discovered through a blog by Kaitlin Henze. It resonated deeply with me, especially since it ties back to our basic human need to be accepted, a trait rooted in our hunter-gatherer days. Kaitlin discusses how FOPO can limit us by making us overly concerned with others’ thoughts at the expense of listening to our own intuition. This often breeds insecurity and doubt, which can hold us back significantly.

Reflecting on this, I recall a pivotal moment in my life about a decade ago. Post-Guantanamo Bay and in the midst of personal turmoil, I came across a Les Brown video that changed my outlook: "People’s opinions of you are none of your business." This mantra has guided me ever since, helping me focus on being unique and contributing my unique qualities to the world.

In terms of actionable advice, let’s consider shifting from worrying about what others think to genuinely caring about people. This involves asking insightful, open-ended questions and listening actively to understand their needs—a strategy that not only enhances interpersonal relationships but also fosters personal growth and understanding.

So, this week, embrace control over the things you can influence: your responses, your actions, and your mindset. Regulate your energy wisely in interactions, and keep a short list of people whose opinions truly matter—those who genuinely support and understand you.

To wrap up, remember to share your aspirations and vulnerabilities with those around you. Let them know what you need and take in the support they offer. By doing so, you’ll build a community that genuinely supports each other’s growth.

Thanks for tuning in. Let’s keep pushing forward, stay accountable, and as always, do the fucking thing, tell the fucking world, and show the fuck up. See you next week for more!