Illustrating Leadership Lesson: The Leader as a Mirror

In this solo episode of the Illustrating Leadership Podcast, I explore one of the most transformative mindset shifts for any leader...moving from being the fixer to becoming the coach. When you step into leadership, it’s natural to think your role is to have all the answers. But true leadership isn’t about solving every problem. It’s about helping your team discover their own solutions and strength.

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From Fixing to Reflecting

As leaders, it’s easy to fall into what I call the “fix-it” mindset: rushing in to smooth things over, solve problems, and protect your team from struggle. While well-intentioned, that approach actually does the opposite of what we hope.

Constant rescuing creates dependency. It signals to your team, you can’t figure this out without me. Over time, that erodes both their confidence and yours.

Leadership isn’t about being the hero. It’s about helping others become the hero in their own story.

When you shift to a coaching approach, your goal changes from providing answers to asking questions. Instead of controlling, you reflect. Instead of rescuing, you empower.

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The Power of Reflection

Think of yourself as a mirror for your team. Your role is to reflect back both strengths and blind spots in order to help people see what they may not notice in themselves.

Ask questions like:

• “Here’s what I’m noticing. Does that resonate with you?”

• “This project didn’t land the way we hoped — what do you think contributed to that?”

• “You’ve had some great wins lately. What’s been working?”

These simple questions do two things:

1. They invite reflection and ownership, deepening your team’s self-awareness.

2. They show trust and that you believe in their ability to figure things out.

Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is name someone’s strength so they can claim it:

“I’ve noticed how calmly you navigate conflict — that’s a real asset to this team.”
“You consistently connect the dots across projects. That kind of strategic thinking makes a difference.”

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How to Mirror Growth Opportunities

Mirroring isn’t just about praise. It’s also about gently reflecting growth areas. Instead of correcting, invite exploration:

“I’ve noticed you tend to hesitate before speaking up in meetings. Tell me a little more about what’s going on there.”
“It seems like follow-through has been a challenge lately. What’s been getting in your way?”

This approach shifts the conversation from you need to fix this to let’s explore this together. It replaces judgment with curiosity...and that’s where growth begins.

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A Coaching Rhythm for 1:1s

If you’re new to this leadership style, try using this rhythm in your next one-on-one meeting:

1. Start with wins: What’s going well? What are you proud of?

2. Move into challenges: What’s felt hard or stuck recently?

3. Encourage reflection: What insights are you noticing?

4. End with action: What do you want to do differently or build on?

You’re still leading, but you’re leading through questions, not directives. You let them lead first.

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Becoming a Mirror, Not a Fixer

Your team doesn’t need you to be their therapist, savior, or hero. What they really need is someone who sees them clearly. Someone who reflects their potential and invites them to rise into it.

The next time you feel the urge to jump in and fix something, pause and ask:

“What can I reflect here instead?”
“How can I help them see what I already see?”

Because sometimes the most powerful leadership move you can make is holding up the mirror and giving someone the space to recognize their own brilliance.

 

Your host, Jessica Wright, is a Life & Career Development Coach for Leaders and the Founder of Wright Life Coaching, LLC. You can connect with and follow her on LinkedIn.