EP. 32: The Belief That's Keeping You Stuck in Survival Mode (And How to Finally Let It Go) | ADHD with Jenna Free
Release Date: 11/03/2025
ADHD with Jenna Free
Join the free "A Regulated Vision for 2026" hangout (January 8th, 10am MST) - You can get your free ADHD Regulation Guide here - Join the waitlist for ADHD Groups (starting January 27 & 28) - Chapters 00:00 Introduction: Why Goals Feel Exhausting 01:00 You've Only Ever Pursued Goals from a Survival State 03:00 Why Relief is Your Primary Dopamine Source 05:00 The Primal Metaphor: Running from the Bear vs Picking Berries 08:00 Why Focusing on the End Goal Keeps You Stuck 11:00 What Regulated Motivation Actually Looks Like 14:00 My Real Life Example: 7 Years Dysregulated vs 2.5 Years...
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This is a replay of our foundational Episode 1 - perfect for new listeners or anyone who wants a refresher on The ADHD Regulation Method! (Called the ADHD Reset in this episode) You can get your free ADHD Regulation Guide here - Chapters 00:00 Rethinking ADHD: A New Perspective 11:38 The Journey to Regulation: Finding Balance 19:07 The Impact of Regulation on Daily Life 26:03 Awareness and Acceptance: The Key to Transformation Summary Hi! I'm Jenna Free, therapist for ADHD with ADHD here to share a transformative perspective on ADHD, emphasizing the importance of understanding that we have...
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You can get your free ADHD Regulation Guide here - Join the ADHD Regulation Groups waitlist here - Chapters 00:00 Introduction: ADHD, Aging, and Dysregulation 01:00 Why ADHD Symptoms Feel Worse as You Age 03:00 What Dysregulation Looks Like During Perimenopause and Menopause 05:00 Three Ways to Support Yourself as You Age 08:00 Aging, Appearance, and Dysregulation 12:00 The Society Piece: Pressure on Women 15:00 Celebrity Examples: Linda Hamilton and Justine Bateman 18:00 It's Safe to Age Summary In this episode, I talk about why ADHD symptoms feel worse as you age - and it's not what you...
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You can get your free ADHD Regulation Guide here - Chapters 00:00 Introduction: Meds and Regulation - Do They Go Together? 02:00 What ADHD Medication Actually Does 04:00 The Gas vs The Steering Wheel Analogy 06:00 Medication is a Tool, Not the Foundation 08:00 What ADHD Meds Can and Can't Do 10:00 Medication Can Magnify Your Current State 13:00 Trial and Error is Normal (And Expected) 15:00 Possible Side Effects and Who Can't Take Meds 17:00 Where Regulation Work Fits In Summary In this episode, I clarify my stance on ADHD medication and where it fits with regulation work. This isn't about...
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You can get your free ADHD Regulation Guide here - Join the waitlist for ADHD Groups (starting January) - Chapters 00:00 Introduction: Worrying What People Think 01:00 The Fawn Response: A Safety Mechanism 03:00 The Trap of External Regulation 05:00 It's Safe to Be Misunderstood 07:00 My Garbage Bag Story: Regulation in Action 09:00 How Fawn Costs Us Our Lives 11:00 The Fear No Longer Drives the Bus 13:00 Practice: Who Am I Trying to Keep Safe? 16:00 Building Freedom Through Tiny Moments 18:00 Their Dysregulation Doesn't Have to Be Mine Summary In this episode, I talk about ADHD people...
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You can get your free ADHD Regulation Guide here - Join the waitlist for ADHD Groups (starting January) - Chapters 00:00 Introduction: How to Regulate For Real 01:00 Why Tips and Tricks Don't Actually Work 03:00 External vs Internal Regulation 05:00 Regulation Through Avoidance Isn't Real Regulation 07:00 Layer One: The Body (Nervous System Regulation) 09:00 Layer Two: The Mind (Thought and Belief Regulation) 11:00 Layer Three: Behavior (Balanced Action) 15:00 Why People Think Regulation Doesn't Work 18:00 You Don't Have to Do It Perfectly 20:00 What Real Change Looks Like 23:00 Start With...
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You can get your free ADHD Regulation Guide here - Take the free Dysregulation Quiz here - Register for the ADHD at Work 2.0 Workshop - Chapters 00:00 Introduction: ADHD at Work and the Severance Episode 01:00 When the Mental Boundary Between Work and Life Disappears 03:00 Why Everything Feels Urgent When You're Dysregulated 05:00 You Can't Work Your Way to Peace 06:00 Signs You've Lost Your Work-Life Severance 08:00 Regulating Your Body at Work and at Home 10:00 The Beliefs Behind Your Urgency 13:00 Regulating Your Behavior: Finding Balance 16:00 My Personal Experience with Work...
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Take the free Dysregulation Quiz here - Join the waitlist for ADHD Groups (starting January) - You can get your free ADHD Regulation Guide here - Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Boredom and ADHD 01:00 What Does "Boring" Really Mean? 03:00 Boredom as a Nervous System Mechanism 05:00 When Dysregulation Feels Like Boredom 08:00 Boredom Can Be a Motivator for Change 10:00 The Mismatch Between Your State and the Task 12:00 Is Regulation Boring? (Spoiler: No) 15:00 This Week's Practice: Notice Your Body During "Boring" Tasks Summary In this episode, I talk about ADHD and boredom - something I...
info_outlineADHD with Jenna Free
Take the free Dysregulation Quiz here - Join the waitlist for ADHD Groups (starting January) - You can get your free ADHD Regulation Guide here - Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Dysregulation Quiz 01:00 Beliefs Are the Roots of the Tree 03:00 The "I'm Behind, I Need to Catch Up" Belief 05:00 What Are Belief Schemas? 07:00 Common ADHD Dysregulated Beliefs 09:00 Perfectionism as a Hidden Belief System 11:00 Step 1 - Name It, Don't Shame It 12:00 Step 2 - Connect Body and Belief Work 14:00 Step 3 - Update Your Schema Over Time 16:00 Bringing It Back to Reality vs. Potential 18:00 You're...
info_outlineADHD with Jenna Free
Join the waitlist for ADHD Groups (starting January) - You can get your free ADHD Regulation Guide here - Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Maladaptive Regulation 01:00 What is Maladaptive Regulation? 03:00 Why Self-Compassion Matters 04:00 The Calendar Research Trap Example 06:00 The Scroll and Clean Cycles 08:00 Compulsive vs. Conscious Choices 09:00 Who's Driving Your Regulation Ship? 11:00 Survival Mode vs. Long-Term Goals 13:00 You're Not Actually in Danger 15:00 Bringing Patterns Into Consciousness 17:00 The Three Pieces - Body, Brain, Behavior 19:00 Implementation Over Information 21:00...
info_outlineTake the free Dysregulation Quiz here - https://adhdwithjennafree.typeform.com/adhdquiz
Join the waitlist for ADHD Groups (starting January) - adhdwithjennafree.com/groups
You can get your free ADHD Regulation Guide here - adhdwithjennafree.com/adhdguide
Chapters
00:00 Introduction and Dysregulation Quiz
01:00 Beliefs Are the Roots of the Tree
03:00 The "I'm Behind, I Need to Catch Up" Belief
05:00 What Are Belief Schemas?
07:00 Common ADHD Dysregulated Beliefs
09:00 Perfectionism as a Hidden Belief System
11:00 Step 1 - Name It, Don't Shame It
12:00 Step 2 - Connect Body and Belief Work
14:00 Step 3 - Update Your Schema Over Time
16:00 Bringing It Back to Reality vs. Potential
18:00 You're Rewriting Your Brain's Story
20:00 Noticing When Beliefs Don't Make Sense
Summary
In this episode, I dive into belief schemas - the deep, often subconscious belief systems that keep us dysregulated even when we're working on physical regulation. I explain how beliefs like "I'm behind, I need to catch up," "I can't trust myself," and "something bad will happen if I relax" were formed during childhood (often through the friction of being neurodivergent in a neurotypical world) and continue to trigger our nervous system into fight or flight. Using powerful examples like rushing to a massage appointment or dragging your child home from school for no logical reason, I demonstrate how these beliefs run like software in the background, keeping us stuck in panic, perfectionism, and avoidance. This episode teaches you the three steps to work with dysregulated beliefs: name it without shame, connect the body work with belief work, and update your schema to match your adult reality.
Action Step:
This week, notice when you feel rushed, panicked, or pressured. Pause and ask yourself: "What belief is underneath this feeling right now?" Look for thoughts like "I'm behind," "There's not enough time," "I should be further along," or "Something bad will happen if I stop." Simply bringing awareness to these beliefs is the first powerful step in changing them.
Takeaways
- Regulation isn't just nervous system work - beliefs and thoughts need regulation too.
- Belief schemas are the subconscious lens through which we interpret the world.
- Many ADHD belief systems were formed in childhood from being misunderstood and constantly corrected.
- Common dysregulated beliefs include: "I'm behind, I need to catch up," "I can't trust myself," "If I'm not achieving, I'm failing," and "Something bad will happen if I relax."
- These beliefs trigger the nervous system into dysregulation, even when nothing dangerous is happening.
- The belief "I'm behind" often creates paralysis rather than productivity - it backfires.
- Perfectionism can be hidden - your life may look far from perfect, but the belief system is still running underneath.
- The three steps: Name it (awareness), connect body and belief work together, and update your schema over time.
- You have more autonomy as an adult than your internal system realizes - updating this is crucial.
- Living in "potential" (shoulds, judgments) versus reality keeps you stuck and powerless.
- There's never a logical reason to rush - notice when you're rushing for no reason at all.
- Thought and belief regulation brings you back into your power and the present moment.
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