Papa Johns: Garlic Dip, CEO Scandals, & the First Bitcoin Pizza
"Fine" Dining
🍕 Papa Johns: Garlic Dip, CEO Scandals, & the First Bitcoin Pizza 🍕 From a broom closet in Indiana to viral garlic sauce bath bombs, Papa Johns has had one of the weirdest journeys in chain restaurant history. In this episode, I explore the story of America's youngest major pizza chain — the sauce that changed the industry, the man who ate 40 pizzas in 30 days, and how a slice of Papa Johns became the first physical purchase made with Bitcoin. We’re talking about Shaq, lawsuits, racial slurs on conference calls, and a clock made of eagles. Yes, really. Comedian Nick Stargu...
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Chili's IS the Most Mediocre Restaurant in America
"Fine" Dining
🌶️ Chili’s IS the Most Mediocre Restaurant in America (Part 2) 🌶️ After 100 restaurant reviews, this was it. Chili’s officially earned the perfect 5.00 out of 10, making it the most mediocre restaurant in America — the ultimate point of comparison for every meal to come. In this episode, I’m joined by returning guest VyVy Nguyen as we review the Encino location in full detail. From booth battles and dry wings to nostalgic chips and a molten dessert that hides its magic in the middle, we break down the exact moment Chili’s became the standard of mid. 🍔 The Sliders That...
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Chili's: The Fajita Effect, NSYNC, and the Jingle That Changed Everything
"Fine" Dining
🌶️ Chili’s: They Started in a Post Office?? 🌶️ Chili’s. For nearly 50 years, it’s been slinging margaritas, sizzling skillets, and vibes that are somehow both flirty and corporate. In this episode, actress and podcast 3-timers guest club VyVy Nguyen is back to explore the surprisingly spicy history of this chain restaurant icon with me — from its post office origins to its entanglement with The Office, N*SYNC, and the internet’s horniest Vine. Was Chili’s always this unhinged, just waiting for us to notice? 🌮 The “Fajita Effect”: Why One Order Sets the Whole...
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Is Joe's Crab Shack the Best Chain Seafood Restaurant?
"Fine" Dining
🦞 Joe’s Crab Shack (Part 2): Heavenly Shrimp, Sloppy Lob, & Dessert Scores 11 out of 10 🦞 After diving into the shady past of Joe’s Crab Shack, it was finally time to eat. In this episode, I head to the Disney-adjacent location with friend and podcast voiceover contributor Sandy Rose to see if the crab still holds up. From shockingly great coconut shrimp to a fish filet that straight-up betrayed us, we cover every bite, every bathroom handle, and every s’more-stained moment in our quest to determine if Joe’s is truly the perfectly mediocre restaurant. Is Joe’s Crab...
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Joe's Crab Shack: Drunk Toddlers, Racist Decor, & WHO THE HELL IS JOE
"Fine" Dining
Joe’s Crab Shack has been serving seafood and sass since 1991 — but who is Joe? In this week’s episode, I dig deep into the murky origins of this kitschy crustacean-themed chain, uncovering mystery, missteps, and marketing that somehow works. From accidentally boozed-up babies to scandalous decorations and trans fat deception, Joe’s has made some serious waves. Plus, I’m joined by longtime friend and podcast voice Sandy Rose to question whether you can truly trust a restaurant that sells shirts saying “I’ve Got Crabs.” Is Joe’s just a goofy seafood joint? Or a case study in...
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Panera Bread Is a Pastry Paradise
"Fine" Dining
We finally ate at Panera Bread — and while the bakery items impressed, the rest of the experience was a chaotic medley of kiosk confusion, bathroom code injustice, and raw onion overload. I’m joined once again by Lyss Johnson (comedian, friend, and former Panera employee) as we break down every detail of our in-person visit to the iconic soup-slinging, salad-stacking chain. Can the cinnamon crunch bagel save this spot from mediocrity? Or is Panera coasting on vibes and vending machine tech? 🥯 The Cinnamon Crunch Bagel That Nearly Ruined Our Lives (In a Good Way) 🍲 Fireside Chili in a...
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Panera Bread: Infinite Refills, Caffeinated Chaos, and Chicken Controversies
"Fine" Dining
🚨 Panera Bread: Infinite Refills, Chicken Fights & Lemonade Lawsuits 🚨 From a humble Missouri bakery to one of the most recognizable fast-casual chains in the country, Panera Bread has been on a wild ride. This week, I dive deep into the breadbasket of chaos that is Panera’s history — including aggressive ad campaigns, billion-dollar innovations, and a beverage scandal that stirred national headlines. Plus, I’m joined by Lyss Johnson — comedian and former Panera employee — to break down what it’s really like behind the counter at America’s favorite soup & salad...
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Is Dairy Queen Worth a 2 Hour Drive?
"Fine" Dining
🍦 We Drove 2 Hours for Dairy Queen – Was It Worth It? 🍦 We hit the road and drove nearly two hours to the nearest Dairy Queen Grill & Chill to finally see if there’s more to DQ than just frozen nostalgia. We tried three burgers (including a surprisingly delicious Flamethrower), fries, onion rings, chicken tenders, and two iconic desserts—the Blizzard and the Banana Split. The building looked half-abandoned, the service felt five-star, and the bathroom was designed by David Lynch, apparently. Is Dairy Queen just a dessert destination with a food menu on the side—or is it a...
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Dairy Queen’s Rise to Power – The Blizzard Effect
"Fine" Dining
Dairy Queen is more than just ice cream—it was one of the first fast-food chains to take over America. In this episode, we dive into how a self-proclaimed chemist helped perfect soft serve, why DQ dominated the 1950s, and the moment that changed everything: the invention of the Blizzard. Joining me is writer & director Tyler Eaton of the new horror-comedy film Mysterious Ways, as we explore Dairy Queen’s rise, its questionable hot food menu, and whether it still lives up to its legendary status today. 🎙 IN THIS EPISODE: 🍦 How Dairy Queen exploded to 1,400+ locations in just 10...
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Taco Bell Proved Me Wrong (But Not About Everything)
"Fine" Dining
After avoiding it for over a decade, I finally stepped back inside a Taco Bell—and I was not ready for what I found. The Baja Blast? Genuinely delicious. The Crunchwrap Supreme? A smart design, poorly executed. The guacamole? It's giving Home Depot. In this episode, comedian & actress Priya Pappu joins me to break down the good, the not good, and everything in between about eating inside a Taco Bell. From its strangely sterile atmosphere to its impressively bad beef portions, we’re analyzing it all to find out if it truly represents fast-food mediocrity. 🎙 IN THIS EPISODE: Does...
info_outlineSubway’s reputation has been circling the drain for years—but is it really as bad as people say? We tried a bunch of footlongs and we've got thoughts.
This week, Terral Wells joins me to put the country’s most common fast-food chain to the test. From a pretzel drier than the Mojave Desert to an interior design aesthetic that actively made Terral upset, we break down every moment of our subpar experience.
"Fine" Dining is now on video! Head on over to my YouTube to WATCH this episode!
WHAT WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE:
🥖 Is there anything redeemable about Subway?
🫠 The footlong pretzel was a mistake.
🚨 “Is that smell coming from Subway? Damn, that’s crazy.” – A real quote from a real woman outside Subway.
🖼️ Bizarre wall art that we still don’t understand.
🥪 The assembly line: efficient or soul-crushing?
💀 Subway’s decor is so lifeless it might be worse than the food.
🍪 The cookie: the best thing we ate but still just fine.
📉 Where does Subway rank in our search for the most mediocre restaurant in America?
💬 LET ME KNOW: What's the worst thing you've ever eaten at a Subway?
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👉 NEXT WEEK: Taco Bell. Can it score better than Subway? Stay tuned.
Patreon Producers: Sue Ornelas & Joyce Van