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Chili's IS the Most Mediocre Restaurant in America

"Fine" Dining

Release Date: 05/07/2025

Nathan’s Famous: One Glorious Glizzy Soars Above the Rest of the Menu show art Nathan’s Famous: One Glorious Glizzy Soars Above the Rest of the Menu

"Fine" Dining

🌭 Nathan’s Famous: One Glorious Glizzy Soars Above the Rest of the Menu 🌭 We went to the original Nathan’s Famous in Coney Island to find out: is this historic wiener mecca actually good, or are we just chasing a bump from a bygone era? Comedian Marty Cunnie returns as my hot dog soulmate to break down every last bite — from snappy glizzies to horrifying frog legs that still haunt my digestive system. We did not eat 76 hot dogs in 10 minutes, but our bodies definitely thought we did. šŸ‹ The Coney Island Shandy (Beer + Lemonade = Perfection) 🄵 Nathan's Is Serving Boyfriend D***...

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Nathan’s Famous: How Joey Chestnut Made a Fake Contest a National Obsession show art Nathan’s Famous: How Joey Chestnut Made a Fake Contest a National Obsession

"Fine" Dining

🌭 Nathan’s Famous: The Hot Dog Empire with a Big Secret 🌭 This week, we dive mouth-first into the greasy, glorious history of Nathan’s Famous, the iconic hot dog brand that gave us Al Capone’s favorite beach snack, a gluttonous holiday tradition, and the most American sporting event of all time: the Nathan’s Famous International Hot Dog Eating Contest. From shady police bribes to feeding royalty to Joey Chestnut’s triumphant return after an Impossible controversy, this episode covers over a century of beef, buns, and barfing-for-glory. Joining me is comedian Marty Cunnie (who...

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Gus’s World Famous Fried Chicken: The Most Consistent Chain I’ve Tried show art Gus’s World Famous Fried Chicken: The Most Consistent Chain I’ve Tried

"Fine" Dining

šŸ— Gus’s World Famous Fried Chicken: Nothing Was Bad?! šŸ— We went to Gus’s World Famous Fried Chicken—and literally nothing made it into the ā€œNot Goodā€ category. Nothing! Comedian and improviser Dave Theune (St. Denis Medical, NBC/Peacock) joins me to talk about his first foray into eating dark meat, crispy fried okra, spicy batter, and the kind of service that borders on too attentive (but we loved it). The waiter even coaxed out my Star Wars hot take. Is Gus’s better than Chili’s? That’s the question. But when a fried pickle almost takes me out in the opening minutes,...

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Gus’s World Famous Fried Chicken: From Humble Shack to National Champ show art Gus’s World Famous Fried Chicken: From Humble Shack to National Champ

"Fine" Dining

šŸ” Gus’s World Famous Fried Chicken (Part 1): Gus's Parents, the Superfan, and Chicken Championships šŸ” Before Gus’s was world famous, it was just spicy chicken sold out the back of a bar in the segregated South. But that secret recipe grew into a Southern staple, complete with 40+ locations, a chicken-loving superfan turned CEO, and even a rogue rooster who hangs out outside one of their Memphis spots. In this episode, I’m joined by improvisor, actor, and all-around delight Dave Theune (NBC’s St. Denis Medical) to go deep on the wild rise of Gus’s World Famous Fried Chicken, the...

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"Dunkin' & Donuts" feat. Amy Vorpahl

"Fine" Dining

šŸŽ² Dunkin’ & Donuts: The D&D Crossover You Never Knew You Needed šŸŽ² This week on the "Fine Dining Podcast," we trade the drive-thru for dungeons. After covering a long, bizarre history — from handled donuts and Fred the Baker to the rise of Munchkins and Dunkaccinos — it’s time for part two: an original Dungeons & Dragons one-shot adventure, played in a world where every NPC runs on Dunkin’. Featuring writer, improviser, and TTRPG icon Amy Vorpahl, this special actual-play episode turns our fast-food trip into a fantasy quest. Expect laughs, intrigue, and a surprising...

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Dunkin’: Donuts with Handles, Munchkin Origins, & the Dunkaccino Meme feat. Amy Vorpahl show art Dunkin’: Donuts with Handles, Munchkin Origins, & the Dunkaccino Meme feat. Amy Vorpahl

"Fine" Dining

ā˜• Dunkin’ Donuts: Handled Donuts, Munchkin Origins & Al Pacino’s Dunkaccino ā˜• Dunkin’ may be a coffee giant now, but its journey started with donuts — one in particular with a literal handle. In this week’s episode, I break down the entire rise of the chain formerly known as Dunkin’ Donuts, from its humble beginnings in Quincy, Massachusetts, to becoming the fast-casual coffee behemoth we know today. Plus, I'm joined by writer and performer Amy Vorpahl to unravel some of the weirdest moments in Dunkin’ history — including public domain mascots, airport nostalgia, and...

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Papa Johns Doesn't Do Pizza Well show art Papa Johns Doesn't Do Pizza Well

"Fine" Dining

šŸ• Papa Johns: The Pizza Review That Gave Us Indigestion šŸ• We reviewed Papa Johns… in the lobby. One item at a time. On plastic chairs they dug out from the back. Make no mistake, this branch of Papa Johns rules, but at the end of the day: it's still Papa Johns. After learning the ingredients now arrive in prepackaged plastic bags from an employee literally covered in something the company calls ā€œdust,ā€ we had to ask the big question: is Papa Johns objectively as good as Chili’s? Joining me is comedian Nick Stargu, whose multimedia stand-up special "" is on YouTube. We talk pizza,...

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Papa Johns: Garlic Dip, CEO Scandals, & the First Bitcoin Pizza show art Papa Johns: Garlic Dip, CEO Scandals, & the First Bitcoin Pizza

"Fine" Dining

šŸ• Papa Johns: Garlic Dip, CEO Scandals, & the First Bitcoin Pizza šŸ• From a broom closet in Indiana to viral garlic sauce bath bombs, Papa Johns has had one of the weirdest journeys in chain restaurant history. In this episode, I explore the story of America's youngest major pizza chain — the sauce that changed the industry, the man who ate 40 pizzas in 30 days, and how a slice of Papa Johns became the first physical purchase made with Bitcoin. We’re talking about Shaq, lawsuits, racial slurs on conference calls, and a clock made of eagles. Yes, really. Comedian Nick Stargu...

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Chili's IS the Most Mediocre Restaurant in America show art Chili's IS the Most Mediocre Restaurant in America

"Fine" Dining

šŸŒ¶ļø Chili’s IS the Most Mediocre Restaurant in America (Part 2) šŸŒ¶ļø After 100 restaurant reviews, this was it. Chili’s officially earned the perfect 5.00 out of 10, making it the most mediocre restaurant in America — the ultimate point of comparison for every meal to come. In this episode, I’m joined by returning guest VyVy Nguyen as we review the Encino location in full detail. From booth battles and dry wings to nostalgic chips and a molten dessert that hides its magic in the middle, we break down the exact moment Chili’s became the standard of mid. šŸ” The Sliders That...

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Chili's: The Fajita Effect, NSYNC, and the Jingle That Changed Everything show art Chili's: The Fajita Effect, NSYNC, and the Jingle That Changed Everything

"Fine" Dining

šŸŒ¶ļø Chili’s: They Started in a Post Office?? šŸŒ¶ļø Chili’s. For nearly 50 years, it’s been slinging margaritas, sizzling skillets, and vibes that are somehow both flirty and corporate. In this episode, actress and podcast 3-timers guest club VyVy Nguyen is back to explore the surprisingly spicy history of this chain restaurant icon with me — from its post office origins to its entanglement with The Office, N*SYNC, and the internet’s horniest Vine. Was Chili’s always this unhinged, just waiting for us to notice? 🌮 The ā€œFajita Effectā€: Why One Order Sets the Whole...

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More Episodes

šŸŒ¶ļø Chili’s IS the Most Mediocre Restaurant in America (Part 2) šŸŒ¶ļø

After 100 restaurant reviews, this was it. Chili’s officially earned the perfect 5.00 out of 10, making it the most mediocre restaurant in America — the ultimate point of comparison for every meal to come. In this episode, I’m joined by returning guest VyVy Nguyen as we review the Encino location in full detail. From booth battles and dry wings to nostalgic chips and a molten dessert that hides its magic in the middle, we break down the exact moment Chili’s became the standard of mid.

šŸ” The Sliders That Carried the Triple Dipper
🌽 Corn Is Good: A Re-Discovering
šŸ”„ Nashville Hot Wings That Were Neither Hot nor Wet
🚽 Surprisingly Clean Saturday Night Bathroom
šŸŒ¶ļø Booths Designed for a Quiet Turf War
šŸ˜‘ The Most Just-There Fries You've Ever Had
šŸŽ‚ A Birthday Song False Start for the Ages

RAP MUSIC VIDEO DEBUT toward the end of the episode: "I Want My Baby Back"

šŸ’¬ COMMENT BELOW: Is Chili’s your go-to for a safe, middle-of-the-road meal? Or has it slipped into soggy nostalgia?

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āš–ļø Like, Subscribe & Share to spread the gospel of perfect mediocrity.

Patreon Producers: Sue Ornelas & Joyce Van

šŸ‘‰ NEXT WEEK: A new chapter begins. The Chili’s Test is born. First up: Papa Johns. šŸ•

 

"I Want My Baby Back"
Written & Performed by Michael Ornelas featuring VyVy Nguyen
Produced by Fresh Kils & Myer Clarity
Mixed & Mastered by Fresh Kils
Video Shot & Edited by Steven Zurita