Accountability and Shame: The Gift and the Curse of being a High Performer- Ep 36
Release Date: 05/22/2025
Why You’re Afraid to Change (Even When You’re Ready) | EP 70
The Higher Alignment Podcast
In this episode, I break down why change can feel so terrifying, even when it is something we deeply want. Using a real client example, I explain how fear is not about logic or readiness, but about the nervous system being stuck in survival mode. When we are dysregulated, the body prioritizes familiarity over growth, even if that familiarity is unhealthy or unfulfilling. This is why big decisions like career changes, relationships, or choosing a more balanced life can feel paralyzing. I share how self-abandonment and over-performing slowly erode self-trust, making it harder to believe in...
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The Real Reason January Motivation Fades by Spring | EP 69
The Higher Alignment Podcast
In this episode, I talk about the false sense of optimism that often shows up in January. A new year can feel motivating, but if your patterns and behaviors don’t change, neither will your results. I break down how high-functioning burnout often goes unnoticed, why short breaks don’t equal recovery, and what it actually takes to create lasting change. This is a reminder that real shifts come from pattern interrupts, simplification, and intentional choices — not the calendar flipping. ________________________________ Key Takeaways January optimism can mask burnout if...
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Why “Having It All” Can Still Feel Like Nothing with Brittany Anger | EP 68
The Higher Alignment Podcast
In this episode, I sit down with Brittany Anger to unpack what happens when you “have it all” on paper, but your body is quietly waving the white flag. Brittany shares what life looked like coming back from maternity leave into a fast-paced corporate banking role while recovering from thyroid surgery, carrying the emotional load at home, and living in constant go-go-go mode. We talk about how high performers often guilt themselves into “just being grateful,” even when they’re running on fumes, and why knowing you need help isn’t the same as your nervous system being able to receive...
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Before You Set Your 2026 Goals, Listen to This | EP 67
The Higher Alignment Podcast
In this episode, I’m breaking down why most goals don’t stick and it has nothing to do with discipline, motivation, or willpower. What I’ve seen again and again in my work is that we often chase external outcomes, thinking they’ll make us feel a certain way, when what we’re actually craving is an internal state. I walk you through the eight core areas of life I use with my clients and show you how to identify both the external goal and the internal feeling attached to it. From there, I explain how to find your personal “North Star” — the few key feelings your nervous system is...
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2026 Numerology Forecast: What This New Cycle Is Asking of You with Meaghan Alton | EP 66
The Higher Alignment Podcast
In this episode of the Higher Alignment Podcast, I’m joined by Meaghan Alton for our annual numerology forecast, this time to break down what 2026 holds and how to use it intentionally. We reflect on 2025’s “nine year” energy as a cycle of endings, release, and pattern-breaking, and why that can actually become the best year of your life when your nervous system has the capacity to welcome change. Meaghan explains why 2026 is a “one year,” meaning it’s a fresh start and the beginning of a new nine-year cycle. This is the year to plant seeds, set a clear vision, and take real...
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Want a Different 2026? Do These 5 Things | EP 65
The Higher Alignment Podcast
In this New Year’s episode, I walk you through the five things you need to hear to make sure 2026 doesn’t become a repeat of 2025. Using December as your “report card,” I break down why you ended the year either grounded and present or overwhelmed and crawling toward the finish line. We look at the real reasons burnout keeps circling back—under-recovery, weak boundaries, ignoring your body, relying on willpower, and trying to do everything alone. This episode gives you a clear starting point, a simple action step to anchor your week, and an invitation to choose how you want 2026 to...
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The Productivity Myth That’s Keeping You Burnt Out | EP 64
The Higher Alignment Podcast
If you’re a high achiever who feels overwhelmed, burnt out, or constantly behind, this episode will transform the way you think about productivity. I break down the nervous system science behind dysregulation, survival mode, and burnout and explain why optimizing for productivity actually backfires when your body is overloaded. You’ll learn what regulation really means, how to recognize when your nervous system is out of balance, and practical strategies to shift out of fight-or-flight and back into clarity and ease. I also explore the connection between childhood conditioning, worthiness...
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Feeling Guilty for Pulling Away? Here’s What’s Actually Going On | EP63
The Higher Alignment Podcast
In this episode, I break down one of the most common stories I hear from high achievers in burnout: “I feel like a bad friend.” You’re canceling plans, avoiding connection, dreading social commitments, and disconnecting from the people you love and instead of understanding what’s happening in your body, you start judging yourself for it. I explain why this has nothing to do with your character and everything to do with capacity, nervous system dysregulation, and the performance-based validation many of us were conditioned into from childhood. We talk about how burnout warps your...
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The High Performer’s Guide to Letting Go of Control with Carly Bolin | EP 62
The Higher Alignment Podcast
In this episode, I sit down with Carly Bolin to talk about what it’s really like to live in fight or flight without realizing it. 2025 became the hardest year of her life after her stepson’s cancer diagnosis, and it forced her to see how long she’d been operating on empty, both at work and at home. Together, we unpack the quiet signs of burnout, the urge to control everything, and the moment tiny shifts (like finally making the bed again) showed her nervous system was healing. Carly shares how she learned to slow down, ask for help, receive support, and rebuild a life where she can be...
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The Skill That AI Can’t Replace (And Why It Sets You Apart) | EP 61
The Higher Alignment Podcast
In this episode of the Higher Alignment Podcast, Minh-Thu breaks down why self-regulation is becoming the most valuable skill in today’s AI-driven world. With the rise of digital overwhelm, overstimulation, and artificial efficiency, humans are craving authenticity and real connection more than ever. Minh-Thu explains how nervous system regulation enhances leadership, strengthens relationships, improves decision-making, and helps you stay grounded even when the world feels chaotic. This episode is a practical, empowering look at why your inner world determines your outer success and how...
info_outlineEpisode Highlights: shame and guilt, high performance tips, discipline, accountability, healing journey, emotional intelligence, shame, self-improvement, mental health, resilience, personal growth, human emotions
Summary: In this conversation, Minh-Thu explores the reality of being a high performer, discussing both the advantages and the challenges that come with it. She emphasizes the importance of finding a balance between striving for excellence and recognizing the emotional toll it can take. The discussion delves into the healing journey, the significance of embracing human emotions, and the detrimental effects of shame and self-judgment. Ultimately, Minh-Thu encourages listeners to cultivate a compassionate relationship with themselves, allowing for growth without the burden of constant self-criticism.
Takeaways:
High performers often face the curse of self-deprecation.
The healing journey can become a never-ending chase for validation.
Negative emotions are indicators, not flaws.
Shame can be an energy drain for high achievers.
Caring about details is what makes high performers great.
Accountability should be compassionate, not punitive.
Suppressing emotions can lead to unhealthy reactions.
Embracing human reactions can lead to faster healing.
Finding balance is key to sustainable performance.
Self-understanding is crucial for personal growth.
Links mentioned in this episode:
To Learn more about the Higher Alignment Program or to book your complimentary connection call go to http://higheralignmentconsulting.com/program/
The REAL Reason You’re Burnt Out (video)- https://higheralignmentconsulting.com/the-real-reason-youre-burnt-out/
Click Here to take the Quiz- Is my Burnout Fixable? https://higheralignmentconsulting.scoreapp.com
Follow Minh-Thu on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/minh-thulam/
Follow Minh-Thu on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/minhthu_lam/