Kindness Under Fire: The Real War on Women
A Moment of Hope
by Marilynn Chadwick I wonder why we keep buying the same old lies. If someone else treated a woman as badly as she sometimes treats herself—overwork, eating disorders, addiction, lack of rest—they’d be convicted of abuse. The real war on women may require that we take an honest look in the mirror. And stand up to the devil who planted those lies in the first place. If we truly want to understand what it means to be a Proverbs 31 woman of valor, if we want to lead with kindness—perhaps we should begin by learning how to be kind to ourselves. It’s been said that a woman never knows...
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Kindness Under Fire: Nurturing Children
A Moment of Hope
by Marilynn Chadwick To nurture someone is another way to be kind. Especially when it comes to little children. The words nurture and nourish come from the Latin word meaning “to nurse.” To nurture someone is to help them grow, develop, or succeed. I think back to the days of nursing our three children and I’m still awed that I was able to provide practically all the nourishment needed by those babies for their first year of life. To me, breastfeeding was nurturing and nourishment all rolled up into one. I’ve enjoyed traveling in what some call “developing” nations...
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Kindness Under Fire: How to Take the Perfect Nap
A Moment of Hope
by Marilynn Chadwick Religion has not always been kind to women. But women also seem bent on exhausting themselves. Today’s woman seems restless. I think St. Augustine could easily have been talking to us when he made this famous statement in his Confessions: “You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you.” Religion may not have been easy on women. But Jesus has been supremely kind. That’s why I keep pointing out our enemy, the devil, as the real perpetrator of the war on women. Hurting women has been his game plan from the start. Jesus made a...
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Kindness Under Fire: A Leader with Heart
A Moment of Hope
by Marilynn Chadwick I’m one of those people that gets misty-eyed over our men and women in uniform. My dad is a World War II era submarine veteran. Our family tree is dotted with soldiers back to the Revolutionary War, when our ancestor, Captain Simon Hunt, was one of the 80 minutemen who led the charge against the British with the “shot heard round the world.” Soldiers fight for our freedom. They display courage and discipline. But for me, war is all about heart. A woman of valor is ready to fight the fight of faith and to fight for those she loves because she has heart. The...
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Kindness Under Fire: Teaching Kindness
A Moment of Hope
by Marilynn Chadwick Kindness actually makes people happier. Such were the findings of a Stanford University study. Subjects who did five kind actions each week were happier than those who did not. And those who performed five acts every day were the happiest of all. The study found that happiness is greater when the acts of kindness are directed toward those we know as opposed to strangers. I guess you could say kindness, like charity, begins at home. The Proverbs 31 woman of valor instructed others. I like the way the International Children’s Bible puts it: “She teaches others to be...
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Kindness Under Fire: Rest for Your Soul
A Moment of Hope
by Marilynn Chadwick The Proverbs 31:10 “woman of valor” is kind, and she teaches others to be kind. But we must also consider the kindness of God. Because until we get that one right, we’ll never walk in true freedom. Throughout history, we have seen how women (and all people, for that matter) have done terrible things to themselves and to each other when their view of God is off. We have a good role model in the woman of valor in Proverbs 31. Her wholehearted devotion to God was not from terror, but rather from a reverential awe that filled her with confidence. Such strong faith was...
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Kindness Under Fire: The Female Superhero—Not So Liberating
A Moment of Hope
by Marilynn Chadwick I will readily admit I love superhero movies. Today’s superhero movies have given us quite a rush of female superheroines splashed across our screen—a far cry from the helpless damsel in distress of years past. Perhaps these fit, strong females will provide our daughters with better role models and higher self-esteem? Better think again. Just when we suspected these hard-hitting heroines were saving us from our outdated images of women, this new breed of female superhero might be making things worse. A recent study shows that instead of giving women healthier views...
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Kindness Under Fire: Our Own Worst Enemies
A Moment of Hope
by Marilynn Chadwick You’d think women would have learned by now that sometimes we can be our own worst enemies. For example, the torturous custom of foot binding, which plagued China’s women for over a thousand years, was perpetuated by women. Originally a symbol of female wealth and refinement, foot binding eventually became a symbol of beauty. The smaller the foot—with a three-inch foot being the ideal—the better chance the woman had of getting married. In order to fit into the tiny lotus shoes, women had to literally suffer the breaking of bones in their feet, beginning when they...
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Kindness Under Fire: Showing Kindness to Ourselves
A Moment of Hope
by Marilynn Chadwick I still marvel when I think about how God gave women the added privilege of being life-givers and co-creators of the entire human race. Eve was the first woman. Her name literally means “mother of all the living” (Genesis 3:20). I love Eve’s response after giving birth to the first human ever born to a woman: “Look, I have created a new human, with the help of the Eternal” (Genesis 4:1 VOICE). Another translation puts it this way: “I produced a man” (Gen 4:1 TLV). We’re not only able to bear children, but also to nurture them. What’s more, we have the...
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Kindness Under Fire: She Teaches with Kindness
A Moment of Hope
by Marilynn Chadwick A woman of valor who can find?...The teaching of kindness is on her tongue (Proverbs 31:10,26 JPS). Disney got it right. The scariest villains are often women. Think about it. Cinderella’s wicked stepmother overworked the poor girl and locked her in an attic before she was finally rescued by her handsome prince. The evil Maleficent cast her jealous spell on Sleeping Beauty. Snow White battled a wicked queen who was envious of her beauty. And don’t forget Cruella De Vil [cruel devil] who kidnapped an entire litter of Dalmatian puppies, intending to use their fur to make...
info_outlineby Marilynn Chadwick
I wonder why we keep buying the same old lies. If someone else treated a woman as badly as she sometimes treats herself—overwork, eating disorders, addiction, lack of rest—they’d be convicted of abuse. The real war on women may require that we take an honest look in the mirror. And stand up to the devil who planted those lies in the first place.
If we truly want to understand what it means to be a Proverbs 31 woman of valor, if we want to lead with kindness—perhaps we should begin by learning how to be kind to ourselves.
It’s been said that a woman never knows how much work she can do until she sees how much has to be done. This may be true. But it would appear that many women today lack the internal boundaries to see how much work is too much until it’s too late.
I wonder if the problem runs deeper than just exhaustion. Deeper than image, or people pleasing, or the desire to measure up, or to be thin, or beautiful, or rich, or fill in the blank.
Because at their very core, I believe women are wrestling with a spiritual problem. This takes us back to the most important task we have on earth—learning to abide in Christ (John 15:7).
Let’s not lose sight of the fact that it was her “fear of the Lord” that was central to the character of our Proverbs 31 woman. Her deep faith in the Lord energized her life (Proverbs 31:30). That’s why our foundation must be built on the solid rock of our relationship with Jesus Christ.
Wherever Jesus is preached, the status of women goes up. It was Jesus who brought true freedom in a culture that regarded women as inferior. He entrusted the message of his resurrection to a woman, appearing first to Mary Magdalene “from whom he had driven out seven demons” (Mark 16:9).
Years ago, I got to see firsthand how Jesus transformed the lives of women in a remote village in Ethiopia. Our missionary friends had shared the gospel with this group of people a decade earlier. When the villagers accepted Jesus, our friends immediately noticed two things: Men stopped beating their wives. And women planted flowers outside their huts. They also became more tender mothers to their children. Things like better education, hygiene, and health care soon followed.
It’s vital that women learn to balance our nurturer and warrior roles. When we do that, the people around us flourish. If the warrior side, or the “fight,” is taken out of a woman, those in her care are left vulnerable. But equally damaging results occur when a woman’s nurturer side is stifled.
God longs to meet the deepest needs of our heart. His grace is sufficient—if only we’ll regularly spend time in his Presence. Sometimes victory comes when you learn to rest in Christ. “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls” (Matthew 11:28,29 ESV).
Our Kindness Under Fire series is adapted from Woman of Valor by Marilynn Chadwick. Click here for more inspiration or to order a copy of Woman of Valor.