Our Favorite Proverbs: Proverbs 31:10, Marriage Tips from Proverbs

by Marilynn Chadwick

“An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.” Proverbs 31:10

What does it mean to be a godly wife? As a new believer when David and I married, this question came to mind often. There were plenty of “how to” books out there, but I wanted to know what the Bible had to say. I found some practical tips on marriage tucked into the pages of Proverbs.

Widely appreciated by scholars as “wisdom literature,” Proverbs contains real-life advice on everything from marriage to parenting. From finances to serving the poor. But I found a beautiful portrayal of what it means to be a godly wife in Proverbs 31:10-31. I encourage you to read these verses, which are actually an acrostic poem.

The poem begins like this: “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels” (Proverbs 31:10 ESV). Some translations refer to her as the “virtuous woman.”

The Hebrew term in Proverbs 31:10 for this famed “virtuous woman,” eshet chayil, is more accurately translated “woman of valor.” The concept of a woman of valor is quite common among Jews, even today. A long-standing custom the evening before Shabbat is for the husband to recite or even sing the words of Proverbs 31, “The Woman of Valor,” as a way to honor his wife.

The woman of valor revealed in Proverbs 31 is a wife and mother. She is also a warrior, a “fighter” at heart. She fights not only for her personal world but also for the world around her. For her marriage and family. For her community. As I listen to conversations with women of all ages, stages, and walks of life, I’m hearing a recurring theme—their heart’s desire to be strong for their families and communities. In short, they long to be strong women of God who influence the world.

Simply put, valor is personal bravery in the face of danger. In its nearly 100 uses in the Old Testament, the word for valor, chayil, is most often used to describe warriors, such as King David’s “mighty men.” Sometimes it’s used to describe God himself, especially when he gives power to his people to fight a battle.

I find the term “woman of valor” both compelling and poetic. Younger women tell me they like this expression of womanhood that is both kind and strong. I believe we need to become women of valor as we face our battles today. As wives, we not only nurture and care for our husbands and children, but we are also called to fight for their well-being.

A fresh look at eshet chayil, the woman of valor in Proverbs 31:10, has opened my eyes to a greater understanding of the joy, fulfillment, and impact God desires for us to have as wives, mothers, and grandmothers. Perhaps it’s time to reclaim this strong, brave, and beautiful portrayal of womanhood.

This Moment of Hope is adapted from Woman of Valor, Discovering the Courage and Strength God Gave You, by Marilynn Chadwick. For more inspiration or to order the newly Revised Edition of this book, please click here.