Episode 042 - Strength Through The Struggle's Mark Goblowsky

Mark talks about overcoming adversity, putting people in your life to support you and the importance of accepting the hand your dealt but then responding to it.

Introduction/Bio:

Hey everyone and welcome to the All-Star Leader Podcast, where together we learn about leadership from the best and brightest, and keep it fun by connecting it to our passion for sports!

Today we are privileged to be joined by someone who knows how to overcome adversity, and who will teach us just how to do it. Mark Goblowsky is a martial arts expert, author, business owner, coach, podcast host and father.

His upcoming book, Strength Through the Struggle, is due out this spring. Mark thanks so much for coming on the show!

Interview Questions:

1. Tell us first of all how you came to focus your work on this area of overcoming adversity.
   1. There are about 7 billion people who will face adversity at some time in their lives, so a big market!
   2. His son was hurt in a hit/run car accident; he felt alone; wasn’t sure how to deal with it
   3. Wanted to create something that others could have as a resource when they were confronted with adversity; to let them know they aren’t alone
2. Many of us look for ways to avoid adversity; how do we know when that’s the right course or when we need to face something head on?
   1. There are lots of people who actively look for adversity (ultramarathon runners; climbers; etc.)
   2. Most of us are not like that
   3. However, many of us are looking for an effortless life, and we’re trying to avoid the pain that is necessary to get that growth
   4. So look at adversity as whether it’s going to serve me that is going to make me a better version of myself (lawyer example; athlete example)
   5. As a parent, we wish raising kids was easy, but it’s not. And those struggles are opportunities for us to become better versions of ourselves.
   6. When we press into those adversities, we gain strength and can serve others
3. How do we do it?! What does it look like or what are helpful tools to use when we face those situations?
   1. Life deals what it deals, and we have to come to terms with reality
   2. Important to embrace the fact we don’t have control over the hand dealt to us; we can only control how we respond
   3. He has failed at this in the past and got caught up in how the situation happened
   4. (Daniel asks about Mark’s martial arts) – Mark had a tough upbringing; was molested as a child; but when Kung-Fu came out, he admired the main character’s peace and power, the strength and ability to protect himself; didn’t pursue it until he was in his 20s and by that time he had been attacked, stabbed, etc. so he knew how to scrap; Realized the pain of being afraid the rest of his life was greater than any pain that would come from learning Kung-Fu
   5. Kung-Fe became something Mark could fall back on when his son was hurt
   6. There was so much uncertainty and so much fear; sitting next to his bed that first night, holding his hand, thought if he held his hand, he could keep him here on the earth and prevent him from dying
   7. (Daniel shares about his own situation with his infant daughter)
4. When you teach or coach someone who is going through a tough time, what are some of the common mistakes you see people make when trying to get through it?
   1. Right that they’re not really mistakes; there are a lot of unknowns, so you’re just learning along the way
   2. People try to make too many changes at once, and that is a very difficult thing to do; we didn’t get unhealthy overnight, and we’re not going to fix it overnight either
   3. We don’t take very good care of ourselves, so we need to show some self-leadership; he should have gotten some help; tried to gut his way through it and shouldn’t have done that; gotta find a way to hang on to hope
5. How important is having a support network around you? Family/friends?
   1. No man is an island; we really need each other; men aren’t good at reaching out and being honest about how we feel on the inside
   2. There is an increase in the suicide rate of men in the U.S., and that’s scary
   3. Men don’t have other men around them to share the tough conversations with; we’re scared
   4. He stepped out and went to a conference at one point that really helped him connect with others going through traumatic situations, and it was a tremendous help
   5. His encouragement for people who are struggling is to find someone you can trust, start to connect with them, and have the honest conversations about what is going on
   6. (Daniel follows up with encouragement to get people around you)
   7. Men be vulnerable with your wife; they are in your corner but we need to trust them and give them the benefit of the doubt
6. You have a remarkable podcast of your own, and I’d like to ask you to share a few stories from your show to help bring this home.
   1. Ray Edwards is well-known in the copywriting and sales world and is a massive success by most measures, but he shared a significant struggle on your show. What can you tell us about that.
      1. Recommend everyone connect with Ray
      2. Very gifted/skilled copywriter; has written for Tony Robbins
      3. He has gone through Parkinson’s Disease; he taught about reframing your thoughts and that you continue to have a choice how you will respond
      4. Ray’s podcast.
   2. Jim Harshaw was an All-American wrestler who lost control of his life in his 30s; that’s something I’m sure hits close to home with many in our audience who were or are athletes. What is Jim’s story and what can we learn?
      1. Jim was confronted with life not turning out how he expected
      2. But then he accepted his reality
      3. Is now helping others
7. Where can people go to learn more about you, the book and the work you’re doing?
   1. markgoblowsky.com
   2. Strength Through The Struggle
   3. Memoir of this process of experiencing the tragedy with his son and the journey after
   4. Due out this spring
   5. Podcast is stories of people who have gone through challenges and adversity

Thank Yous/Acknowledgements:

1. Antioch Live/Clear Day Media Group – music
   1. More here.
2. Jonathan Davis – production
3. Clint Musslewhite – voice over